give him First let him shew a little Melancholy in his Eyes and Visage not too much for fear to alarm her too much but onely so much as may oblige her to press him to give her a knowledge of the cause and then feigning not to tell it her without regret and out of obedience Let him declare it in such a manner that it may appear onely the effect of his Love without touching the Vertue or Prudence of his Mistriss mixing therewith the Purity and Constancy of his own Passion and all this with an air full of submission and most capable to move pity flying all Eagerness and Reproach This is the means to cure his Jealousie for it is impossible how fierce soever a fair one is but her Heart will become tender by such great marks of Sorrow and Submission or refuse to give satisfaction to one so worthy of her Love and of her Pity But above all let him take heed that he pass not the bounds which I have prescribed for if his Jealousie be full of Transport and Fury nothing will become more insupportable than him for this is an undoubted Principle that there is none Jealous in this manner who is not looked upon as a Scourge by the most reasonable Let therefore a Lover take great heed of this Jealousie if he would love as he ought and whatsoever he has let him cover it discard it as the greatest Enemy of his Glory and Repose This is the way to avoid the most dangerous Rock in this Sea for there is no person who doth not agree that if jealous Suspitions were banished from Love the least happy would avow that there is nothing so sweet as its Empire Follow then my Maximes principally those which concern Jealousie if you embarque upon this amorous Sea and would arrive at last at that happy Port. But to return it is accounted in the opinion of the most wise that all things are most difficult in their Commencement therefore there is the greatest art to be used in the first declaration of Love This is the chief work of a refined Spirit he must spare the Modesty of a Lady and discover his Flame in obscure terms If the thing please her her curious Spirit will permit him another day to explain himself better and if a Lover once discover the least hint of his Love Love will repeat it a thousand times But that this Curiosity might be better known to you if you desire to be permitted with the greater facility to express your Love more clearly you must first disguise your Love and so conceal it a long time under the name of Respect and Complaisance and not to speak of it too often for this shocks and presses the Modesty of a Lady too much and obliges her to deprive you of those opportunities which are so precious in Love It is thus that a Lover ought to entertain his Mistriss yet he must as well know when it is fit to be silent and above all to hide the secret of his Love When he speaks let him praise the Sex declare his own Fidelity and shew that he pretends nothing In sum his Conversation must be gallant sweet and witty which may make her wish every minute such an Excellent person her Slave and withal he must always be submissive and discreet that he may obtain what he pretends without pride and see himself beloved without speaking of it which is done by rendring her a thousand continual Services by regulating his actions according to her humour till by the sweetness of a long acquaintance he hath insensibly surprized her Heart which is done before she is aware of the Stratagem prepared for her When a Lover has done all that I have directed and yet his Mistriss does not declare her self because of her too great modesty I permit him to sigh before her for a true Passion cannot be better expressed that by a sigh when it escapes from the bottom of the Heart tha◠alone is capable to explain th◠grandeur of Love and it i◠sometimes of more power an◠Eloquence than all the amorous expressions in the World Therefore when he has the opportunity to entertain her alone let him not be too profuse of his talk but let a few Sighs supply the vacancies of discourse But let him use much caution lest he be suspected of artifice let him seem fearful to let 'em escape and sometimes break 'em in their passage shewing that it is some pain and violence to him to suppress them This language is sweet in Love and the best Interpreter of an amorous desire Thus you may see how a Declaration of Love is to be made at the beginning to make ones-self be loved of a Lady who founds her Passion upon Reason For when a Lover acts in this manner he renders himself so amiable that the most fierce will suffer his presence and hear him with Complaisance She will always treat him more favourably than another She is pleased to see him and after believing her self to be beloved by reason of his inflamed sighs she findes her self insensibly charmed and this you will discern whether she will or no for whenever she takes pleasure to hear you sigh she will finde it difficult to constrain her self but will sigh too maugre her resistance do not matter then what she says to you These fierce and haughty fair ones never declare their Sentiments in these affairs they always leave their Lovers to divine and onely in their Eyes betray the secret motions of their Soul When we have made this advance we may declare our selves more freely and testifie openly the grandeur of our Love but take heed that you demand not yet to be beloved but onely the permission to love and to have leave to tell her so which you may do in this or the like manner after you have expressed the greatness of your Love Will you consent my dear Celinda that I promise my desires this charming priviledge to make Vows to you of an eternal Love I require not that you would be sensible of my Flame nor do I expect that the gift of your Heart should follow the offer of mine No no charming Celinda that is a glorious Rewards of which nothing can render me worthy and though my Passion makes me desire it yet my own Imperfection forbids me to hope it Permit me onely to flatter my self with this That in daring to love I may also dare to tell you so and at your Feet daily pay you my respects and 〈◊〉 you Vows of an unchangeable Love and by its ardour let you know that it being pure and sincere it must always increase That it is not the effect of a blinde appetite which is begot by Desire and nourished by Hope but that as it is formed by the most amiable Object in the World over which no Time will prevail so nothing but Death can rend it from my Heart It is by such tender Sentiments as these
Love has not made an absolute conquest for where it reigns entirely it sweetens all conditions and the worst traverses of Fortune are not able to lessen it but contribute to its growth the constancy of each begets a mutual pity which endears them one to the other and strengthens that Chain which links their Hearts and Fortunes together So true is that part of the Song He whose Love 's true and whose Passion is strong Shall never die wretched but always be 〈◊〉 Therefore when we see a Lover whose cares are all employed for her he loves and in all things to prefer his Mistriss's satisfaction and happiness before his own and with a dis-interessed Zeal to offer his heart at Loves Altar a Lady may safely accept his Love and hope with Reason a true and durable Felicity The greatest part of this fair Sex and above all those fierce and haughty fair ones are very exquisite in disguising of it and it is not easie to discover their true Sentiments how much soe're they are touched but it is certain that the less they make it appear the more is Love in their Hearts which at last breaks over all their constraint and forces them to confess their Defeat Therefore let not a Gallant be discomfited after many Repulses and though after many Attacks he finds no hopes of surrender 1. What if thy Phillis seem severe Do not despair In the soft Language of thy eyes Tell ber for her thou dies And for her Favours amarously press Courage in Love bath always best success 2. Fear not thy constant Flame Will in her Heart create the same In all thy pain Inquietude and Care Phillis at length will share And Whilst of freedom she doth boast She finds her liberty is lost She 'll seem thy Passiou to despise When Love doth languish in her eyes 3. Vnder a tranquil Face and gentle Eyes Loves secret fire may burn And in as bright a Flame arise As under the sad ooks of those Whose mortal Paleness shows As if they were reviv'd just from an Vrn. And though the Flame doth not so high ascend It may a heat more ardent lend If then in Phillis Face thou spies This Coldness and this Calmness in her Eyes Believe her Face and Looks her Heart belyes 4. In vain thou dost her Cruel call And foolishly accuse In saying she 's insensible To all thy Amanous Vows A Woman's Heart is well to Love disposed And though her modest Lips are closed Her Heart is soft and tender is her Soul Yet Fear and Shame May long conceal And secret keep the Amarous Flame Which at the length her eyes reveal When 't is no longer subject to controul Some Ladies are so jealous of the discovery of their Love that they seldome speak of the man they love without railing against him and censuring this or that in him but this they do with so ill an Air that it may be easily discerned they take no delight in being compli'd with or to have the company of the same opinion In many different ways doth this Passion make its Eruptions but after all the eyes are the first discoverers of it and he that is well read in that Language will quickly discern what Advances he makes in his Mistriss's Heart To enumerate all the Symptoms of it I should seem to speak of it as Burton in his Melancholy as a Sickness or Distemper a Feavour or a Calenture not as that noble Fire which inflames us to all brave and generous Actions and which lights us in the Paths of Glory and Vertue I shall leave a Lover to consider well of the nature of Love and of the ensuing Reflections and then I presume he will stand in need but of very few more Instructions CHAP. VIII Important reflections upon Love and the Conduct of Lovers 1. ALover must presume upon himself when he sees a fair Lady he must believe that all things are possible to him 2. The curiosity to see a fair Lady is one of the great commencements of Love and the more strong it is by so much Love hath taken the deeper root 3. When we have a long time combated with Love and that it forces us to yield we must not say to her we love that we submitted by Force but by Choice 4. Sometimes we are afraid to become Amarous do not perceive that we are more afraid of a Lady not to see her again by this we may conclude that we love maugre our ridiculous and unprofitable Fear 5. When we love a Lady too proud or fierce and that we cannot enfranchise our selves we endure a cruel torment For we cannot live without seeing her nor see her without sighing for her nor sigh without telling her our love nor declare it without deserving death 6. How fierce soever a Lady is when a Lover that she esteems hath once gained a little credit upon her Heart she begins to doubt if it be a crime to love 7. We believe always the last what we most fear and a Soul accustomed to fly what wounds it doth not believe it feels the ill when it presses it and it is so inclin'd to flatter it self that even when it feels it it endeavours to doubt it 8. Love is an Imposture which seduces the Spirit and the same Heart which searches after it fears it it distributes Blessings onely drop by drop but it showres down Evils and Tears in great Floods but in the mean time it makes it self adored every where 9. When Jealousie has once taken possession of a Heart nothing can stay the Impetuous course of it Innocence is criminal the false appears true and the true seems false and by that Love produces Hate 10. The right to be beloved serves ost-times as an Obstacle against it and Love is no more Love when it becomes a Duty 11. The disorder of a Lover in a Declaration of love is a great Eloquence and when a Lover expresses himself well it is a sign of little love 12. Distance of separation makes the pain of absence different if it be not great we are less senâ—â—â—e of regrets because when a little space onely divides us from the Object loved the Heart fails not to post thither without the Eyes 13. It is necessary that we our selves love to know the effects of Love in another and a Lady cannot know the torment of her Lover if she become not a Lover as well as a Mistriss 14. We must never declare our love by the means of a Friend for to express our Passion well the party must be sensible of love himself 15. It is hard to prove that we love much when the Heart doth not agree with our Words 16. Love and Fortune seldom make one and the same man happy and whosoever is caressed by one ought to fear the other 17. When a Lady is of Royal Blood she ought not to hearken to a Lover unworthy of her blood what ills soever she resents from that hard constraint
18. Love and Majesty accords but ill for what one follows the other flies Love cannot suffer noise nor Witnesses when it is upon a Throne it is in constraint the higher it sees it self the more it fears and since it is a Childe too great splendor doth affright it 19. Jealousie sometimes proves a remedy for Love by the great Torments which it creates 20. When one is so little jealous that he discerns not that he is so he keeps no guard upon himself but permits it unawares to appear in many of his actions but when he is jealous to that height that he perceives it a wise Lover doth all he can to conceal it and to lock up his Jealousie within himself till he become Master of it But oft-times there is mixt so much fierceness in that feigned indifference wherewith he hides this Passion that it is easily discernable that it proceeds from a jealous despite by which means he betrays himself 21. A jealous Lover cannot hear either good or ill of his Mistriss without equal displeasure so capricious is Love 22. All the little devoirs which a Lover pays to his Mistriss speak for him mingled sighs and a glance of the Eye and a thousand other little amarous actions expose the Souls of two Lovers to each other 23. To be silent in the beginning of an Amour is in effect to speak much 24. When Love is strong and is forbid to speak it acts speaks and shews it self through the eyes 25. He who can weep in Love when he ought to weep is Master of a Heart 26. When we are disposed to begin an Amour we must make our Addresses to one of the most fair and most witty and if we please such a one all others will esteem us the more And this is the means to gain an hundred Mistrisses and to serve but one 27. When a Lover is very passionate far from murmuring at his Sufferings he wishes that he had more than one Heart that he might suffer more for a true Lover feels no Torments or if he do he seems in love with them 28. A Heart which knows how to love truly creates it self a thousand Pleasures from indifferent things even its Grief is pleasing to it 29. There is no Crime that a true Lover does not pardon and there is not any who loves truly who had not rather suffer the punishment the Crime of his Mistriss deserves than to see her exposed to it 30. The least Repentance always finds pardon from a Lover 31. Amongst Lovers there are a thousand little different things which render the one Content and the other Unquiet Jealousies Displeasures short Despites sudden Repentances sweet Remembrances and pleasing Interviews in secret places 32. When two Lovers make a final Breach if the Lady has received any Presents she ought not to keep them nor ought her Lover to demand them again 33. There is much prudence to be us'd by a Gallant in the Presents he makes to his Mistriss otherwise he will loose more than profit by them a profuse Gift obliges not but the grace and manner of giving is preferr'd before the Present as to loose something at Play to disguise the Present but a liberal Fool seems to give an Alms when he makes rich Presents and gives so out of season that it displeases 34. The words I love offer too much violence to the modesty of a Lady a Lover must find terms more sweet to avow his Love 35. A fine Raillery hath great success in their Conversation when the Conversation languishes a little Raillery pleases the most serious it dissipates Melancholy and brings joy into the Heart and Face Every one hearkens with pleasure to Witty things spoke to the purpose and which are said without premeditation but we must fly Buffonrie and Slandering the Phrase must have nothing low nor insolent it must be express'd with a gallant and agreeable Air and much Modesty and Civility in all our Actions 36. When a crafty Mistriss sees her Lover about to forsake her she recals him by flattering language and studied Cajolleries She appeases the greatest Fury and rekindles the extinguishing Flame By an amorous Glance and by counterfeit Smiles all this is easie to her and Love and her Lover and as after War we better taste the sweets of Peace so a re-conquered Lover loves better than ever 37. One cannot be in love but one time or other there will happen some little Anger 's betwixt two Lovers and that is most commonly for things of a trivial nature If any Grief arise from it it is a Crime to conceal it nay even it is sweet to complain After an earnest and amarous Contest the Lovers laugh and agree and with pleasure at last fee that neither of 'em are injured 38. At the beginning when a Lady is touched by Love though she will quickly know it she dare not name it and her Heart which is sensible of the fire will suffer it but not confess it It feigns to be ignorant of its Malady for fear of being obliged to apply a remedy it makes a secret of the name of its Conquerour for fear it should alarm her modesty and shame 39. That foolish Passion must be shun'd which blemishes our Glory not that we ought to have a Heaâ—t as hard as a Rock and impenetrable to Love but it ought to be hardned by Vertue when Love is contrary to it 40. There is nothing so easie as to know the secret of a Lover his regards are always indiscreet he cannot feel a great Fire in his Heart without giving some outward marks of it and even that constraint and endeavour to conceal his sighs is oftentimes that which makes it divined what is in his Heart We take no notice of an ordinary sigh but when one seems afraid to sigh and strives to suppress them it is easily guessed that this caution conceals Love 41. When a Lover desires to conceal that he loves his Tongue must be ignorant of his desires lest it betray him his Heart must not give any confidence to his Eyes or Sighs all his Vows must be mute and all his love locked up in his Heart 42. When a Lady is betrayed by her Lover she weeps when she disputes about taking revenge she sees that if her ingrateful Lover perish she must perish too Thus Hate Love Rage and Tenderness successively triumph in her Soul she findes her self both a Lover and an Enemy at the same time when her despite increases her Passion augments and though her Lover hath betrayed her yet he appears still amiable and in this distraction she can neither love nor hate 43. The designe of being revenged upon a Lover that hath betrayed us serves as a Vertue though it be criminal for Love and Anger will combate each other and we may hope they will destroy each other 44. When we remain in silence in the presence of her we love Love speaks for us but the misfortune is all Ladies do
For the Conduct of Ladies and Gallants in their Amours CHAP. I. Of the nature and power of Love VArious have been the Opinions concerning Love that Passionate Love I mean which is only found between persons of a different Sex and the mistakes about it have opened the mouths of many wise and religious men against it who speak of it as pernitious to Youth born of Idleness and Ease and nourished by Sloth and Luxury as a Weed that grows up in youthful mindes which destroys the early seeds of Vertue and hinder 'em in the pursute of glorious Actions making no distinction between it and that brutish desire which we call Lust with this difference onely that when our desires are determin'd to this or that person it is called Love and when like a Flame driven with the Wind to which it is compared it rages every where and knows no bounds they give it that other name From hence it is they abound with Precepts and Cautions to prevent the minds of Youth from being poyson'd as they term it with this destructive Passion forbid the reading of Romances from whence they pretend young Ladies fancies are depraved and debauched and disposed with ease to dispence with Duty and Honour and all other considerations to follow the fortunes of any spruce and impertinent fool or desperate ruffian I know not what Instances they can produce of these pernitious consequences or how many examples in those excellent Romances which are the common entertainment of the most vertuous Ladies They have been writ as Images of Vertue and as Representations of the beauty and glory of a Life without blemish Honour Generosity Courage and Fortitude and all other qualities which render a person most amiable are set off in the greatest lustre to engage us to pursue the acquisition of them and to render hateful and detestable the contrary Vices which are represented with all the deformity and destructive consequences but it fills say they the minde with extravagant Visions and imbues the Soul with a foolish enderness and pity which makes 'em liable to become an easie Prey to any one who by flattery and feigned submissions have the opportunity to insinuate themselves into their company I answer That there will always be a number of vain fond and indiscreet persons in the World but how can that be ascribed to the reading of those Books which the rather help them to discern into the little Arts and Practises of men and women to enshare each other acquaint 'em with all the Cajolings and counterfeit Vertues and teach them to distinguish between the true and false crowning the constant Vertue after it has taught him patience and fortitude in the Traverses of this life and leading the other to Infamy Confusion and Disgrace the consequences of all inglorious actions The greatest enemies to Love are such who are possess'd with contrary Passions for an old rich Cormorant when he finds his Son or his Daughter touched by this Passion he stays not to examine the Merit of the person it is nothing to him whether he be Wise Vertuous and Valiant If it cross his designes of Avarice he labours all he can to chase it from their breasts and to destroy the early Seed He raves and storms and thunders in his trembling Childrens ears That Love is a Folly Weakness and Madness and wants not many Examples of the deplorable effects and ruinous consequences of it confounding a Passion full of Innocence and grounded upon Vertue with that of Lust whose lawless Rage is the cause of all thee disasters which he unjustly charges upon Love Unjustly I say for though that inordinate and irregular desire which we call Lust oft proves calamitous and the cause of many misfortunes involving sometimes whole Families in bloud and infamy yet without doubt Love when 't is grounded upon Reason works far different Effects and is that which makes up the Felicity of those in whose breasts that Divine Flame finds entertainment Of this Love I cannot say any thing too advantageous it is the Soul of the Soul of the Soul the very Source of all our laudable Passions it makes us Generous Brave Civil Liberal it refines the Wit and inflames to all worthy Actions These are the natural Effects being the means to obtain that Charming Object which we love It sweetens the most Rough and Salvage Tempers softens the Heart and renders milde and affable the most Barbarous Dispositions Without it we have none of those noble Sallies of the Soul which excite to Heroique Actions which make us surmount the most difficult Obstacles Nothing is impossible to Love it is fruitful in Miracles and renders all things easie to a Lover whom at last vanquishes and triumps over all things it inflames his desires excites his hopes and gives Fire to all those Passions which may advance its Empire Those persons whom I have mentioned being prepossess'd with a false Vertue whereof they make an idol look upon it as contrary to Heroick Actions and are so gravely scrupulous as hat they will not suffer it to touch their ears They treat at it as a Chimaera and meer extravagance and if any friend of theirs become inamoured they always finde something to reproach him for with so much blindness and precipitation do they censure what deserves true Elogies stopping their ears to all justification But what is the reason of this but the want of reflection on the means to render it reasonable for they regard it as a blinde Fury in its greatest violence and as a Torrent when it is most rapid without considering that the greatest Fury in its birth is but a light Passion and that the Torrent which is most impetuous in its course is but a Gut of Water in its Source The same may be said of Love which in its birth is no other than a ligh emotion which is excited in our Souls by the Charm of a beautiful and pleasing Object convey'd by the eyes to the heart If we attack it in that Infant estate we may easily vanquish it and reduce it to terms of Reason yet in this Combate we must regard it as a formidable enemy and spare neither Force nor Stratagem It s power extends over the Universe and all our other Passions are led Captive by it It disarms our Fury changes our Hate and assumes an absolute Empire over our Wills which Empire is as universal as that of Death No Nation no Age nor Sex but live under its Laws and whilst all other Empires have their bounds Love knows not any The greatest professors of severe Vertue have not been wholly exempt from his imperious power he darts his irresistible Arrows to their Hearts and renders them one time or other amorous maugre all their strivings and on these Love seems to take its greatest vengeance because of their resistance No Age can plead exemption from its Laws for if you urge your Youth Love will tell you That he 's a Boy and yet has
given his heart to his Dear Psyohe and if you demand other Examples he will let you see a thousand who in their Infancy have been taught to give obedience to its power If you plead Old age and would excuse your selves by that he will shew you a thousand amorous Old men who will tell you That Old age is most proper for a reasonable Love who will say to you with a brisk and not ungallant Voice In our Amours you discern nothing of the Coldness of Age 'T is in young hearts that Love creates too great transports when we love our Years augment our Wisdom and render us more submissive more discreet ardent and more constant Thus we may see that Love exercises its Empire upon all men of what Age and Condition soever they be so extensive is its Empire and so uncontrolable is its Power This may admonish us how difficult it is to subject it to our Reason If we do not oppose its growth even in its birth and use our greatest efforts to regulate it nothing is more subtile crafty and insinuating than Love for its Address is as great as its Force and it hath the art to vanquish us by our own arms for if we oppose our other Passions to it which are the best Arms we have Reason onely excepted it seizes upon them straight by an admirable Dexterity and turns them against our selves and there is not one who in this Gombate willnot betray us turn Renegado and range it self on the part of Love whensoever it pleases Thus it extends its Empire every where it raigus in Heaven and in all the Regions of the Air Earth and Sea the Plants themselves are sensible of its power and in short all things that are Mortal must be subject to Love and Death That which begets most Astonishment is that Love has the power and address to serve it self with all our Passions and to convert to the same use even things that are most contrary to it It makes not onely use of our Desires but also even of Aversion and our flight from the Object loved which are opposite to it for the same designe It is in vain that we believe to vanquish Love in flying the sight of the Object which we finde amiable in spight of us and we had need well consult our selves before we resolve to deprive our eyes of the sight of it to the end to tear out the Picture that Love has graved in our heart That same Heart which sighs under its Tyranny and which we desire to infranchise will tell you sighing that it will rather take part with Love than against it and that absence will but onely increase its sufferings and enslave it more No no this flight will not cure the Amorous Wound the Darts of Love stick in the Wounds of miserable Lovers and the more they chase and the faster they fly away the Wounds become more mortal For that Passion which we call Hope it does not onely give aid to Love as the other but it is even the Throne of Love where it appears with most Pomp and Lustre from whence it shoots its most inevitable Darts It is by this Passion it finishes the most glorious Enterprizes and by which it preserves its Conquests it entirely captivates us to Love and it is so fearful that we should break its Chains that it flatters us incessantly with a thousand Sweets and it is so ingenious in the important services it renders to Love that it flatters a Lover into the most gross deceipts This is the great Consolation of miserable Lovers and even by its help alone they are encourag'd to such a constant pursuit as at last overcomes the most rebellious heart Despair also ranges it self on the side of Love for it is so ingenious and so malicious together that it lets us see that we love in vain and yet seduces us so craftily with the Charms of a false Glory and Spurs us on to a ridiculous Generosity to think our selves happy to die for an insensible Ingrate who laughs at us all the time of our Love and Death yet in making this Resolution we believe we merit a Crown Courage is no less of the party of Love for Love first imprints this great Maxime in our Spirits That the most fair love always the most brave Fear though it be contrary to Courage yet it is no less of the party of Love and is no less serviceable to Love than it when that Soveraign of the Passions ordains it and most Lovers confess every day that their fears are onely an excess of Love Consider these timerous Lovers when they approach those surprizing Beauties which charm them they find themselves speechless they sigh and almost sound away and dare not lift up their eyes or open their mouths to regard them or to complain nor even to sigh so much they are affraid to offend these visible Divinities which they adore It is true that Fear is so intirely submitted to Love that when it pleases it begets that Passion in the heart of the greatest Heroe and he who has seen without the least Consternation the fall of Empires has yet trembled at the presence of her he adores Yet nevertheless this Fear is not of the kind of those servile Fears which make men tremble for themselves Fears so base enter not into those great hearts they are onely for the Object loved for whose sakes they readily throw themselves into the greatest Perils It is this Passion that Love make use of to establish its Empire for perswading these undaunted Spirits that the Object loved measures always the grandeur of their Passions by that of the fear they ought to have for the safety of what they love it makes them forget their own and makes them tremble maugre all their Courage to testifie the excess of their Love and to augment by that that of the person beloved It doth not onely make them forget their proper safety but also the care of their Reputation in many occasions and makes them prefer the care to save the person beloved to all other cares which regard their Honour It was for this reason that the great Pompey refused to combate Caesar and at the expence of his Reputation he deferr'd a Battel on which depended all his Fortune and all his Glory till he had render'd out of danger what he loved above himself It was at this time onely that Pompey's courage abandon'd him and fear made the Husband of Cornelia tremble 'T is in the like occasions that Love made us see the prodigious power that it hath over us by that ingenious Address that it hath to make use of our Passions against our selves and certainly that Power and that Address are equally admirable and charming when they are the cause or the effect of a Reasonable Love Respect which is a Species of that timerous Passion and which may be call'd a Noble fear confirms all that I have said And it is by
this that Love doth most extend its Empire This Respect augments with Love and with the fear we have for the person beloved In short we see every day that he who strives not to please by Respect and principally at Court where Love is most reasonable and most refined never succeeds in his Amours This Respect is the very Source of all Love's power and it may be truely said that without it that Love is not capable to make those glorious and difficult Conquests which it Atchieves It is that which we observe when Love attacks those hearts whose scrupulous Vertue being sensible of their weakness fears the sight of those Lovers which press them for then these equally severe and tender Souls finde themselves in a very pitiful estate sometimes they fear to give ear to their Sighs because they finde themselvs too weak without running the risque of engaging their hearts and other times they are equally affraid to appear inhumane If they refuse to hearken to them it is because they believe that there is too much rigour in such a Refusal yet at last they finde themselves constrained to be pitiful insomuch that their hearts are engaged insensibly by that inquietude As soon as they perceive they love that which they fear their hearts complain of them and making at once reflection on what it suffers in this hard Combate it cannot forbear sighing Love which makes all these Attacks is astonish'd with this resistance and may be would carry his Attempt no farther if he did not serve himself of Respect which he makes appear to the Attaqu'd heart in the eyes of her Lover whose looks are so animated with Love that in a moment Respect triumphs over her heart maugre all resistance and thus renders Love victorious See the true Picture of this Combate and of this Victory made by one of these fearful and scrupulous Ladies I wou'd and straight I wou'd not thus I roul Incertain thoughts in my unquiet Soul To his Complaints and Sighs to stop my ears Inhumane and too rigorous appears When he his Love and Sufferings doth confess My Heart doth melt with too much tenderness Then sighing straight I do my self accuse Yet think 't unjust my pity to refuse At last his Love joyn'd with a deep Respect Betrays my Thoughts and does my Heart subject It is so true that the chief power of Love consists in this Respect that when a Lover behaves himself in a manner full of Respect before one of these fair severe ones it seems to her-that such a Lover intends with all her Enemies to betray her and to vanquish her So much does she finde her self attacked in all the places of her Heart In that thought and in that Assault she findes she wants the force to resist him and she abases her self even to conjure this respectuous Lover to affront and to provoke her hate so much she findes her self pressed by the violence of his Respect Ah! Tircis cease cease I desire Do not against my Peace conspire Banish Respect me Cruel call Reproach Affront and still against me rail And say I 'm proud fantastical and vain This soon will mitigate my pain Then I shall yet be Mistriss of my Will And able to resist thee still Spare me the Shame and Blushes which will rise Into my Face and Eyes When thou compelst me to disclose My Weakness and my Troubles to expose For when thou sighst alas I feel a smart And Pity steals into my yielding Heart Fear does not onely beget Love which makes use of it not onely to introduce it self into a Heart but also by its means Love establishes it self there and secures it self from being despoyl'd of the Fruit of its Victories It is by dissembling this Fear that a Lady who loves and is unwilling to loose her Servant tells him trembling That she would not for all the world any should know her tenderness for him She caresses him onely in secret to the end he may esteem her favours greater Thus she awakens by this Fear and Circumspection which she feigns the Fires which else might die without it because that then that abused Lover sets so much a greatervalue upon her Favours and Caresses as they cost him more dear and are given more rarely and in secret This is most usually practised by the expert Miss of the Town who always paints an Image of Fear upon her Face to increase the price of her Favours which else might be neglected It is then certain that the fear which ought to defend us against Love when it is not reasonable forsakes us as the other Passions and flies over to the party of Love whensoever it pleases Choler which by reason of its transport seems most contrary to Love fails not to accord with Love and to take part against us when it pleases And certainly if Love be ingenious in managing all our other Passions against us he shews an Art wholly admirable in the use of this See how he works when he sees a Lover who believes himself betrayed by his Mistriss and who with a just despite comes to reproach her Levity and Inconstancy he is so affraid that this Captive should break his Chains that he quickly has a recourse to Choler he blows it into the heart of that fickle Mistriss making her do all the extravagant Actions that Rage and Despair can inspire into a Lady who looses all that she loves By this feign'd Choler he imprints so tender a pity in the heart of that abused Lover that he becomes more amorous than ever and if his Friends reproach him with his Weakness he answers That he cannot return her less than Love for the marks of a Love so great exaggerates a thousand furious actions that he hath seen this desparing Lady do by which he suffers himself to be entirely re-enslaved beyond redemption Behold how Love serves it self of this Passion to make us love even more violently than we ever did for by these Quarrels which happen betwixt Lovers Love re-enforces it self and there seems a new birth of it in the heart of him who accuses when the accused justifies her self for what disorder soever Reproaches produce betwixt Lovers the Criminal finds Pardon a sweet Remedy which is always attended by some new Favours In short there is nothing so ravishing and so sweet to a Lover after a transport of Choler against his Mistriss which he believes unfaithful than to see her in pain to appease him and to give good reasons to excuse an imaginary offence and to wipe her eyes with her fair hand and to pay his unjust Tears by a thousand fresh favours It onely remains that I speak of Joy and Grief to let you see that Love is absolute Master of all our Passions when it pleases I mean when we do not subject it to our Reason If we consider that Joy is no other thing than the fruition of an agreeable Good which renders the Soul content and which interdicts the
it self receives a lustre from their mutual Loves In effect the death of these rare Beauties hath nothing hideous one may take it rather for a sweet Sleep than for a true Death one cannot call it Paleness what we see upon the Cheeks of these dying fair ones it is rather such a colour as we see in a clear Night when the Sun retires his Raies Their eyes become even then dangerous the Fire burns even when it is about to be extinguished and as the Sun eclipsed ceases not to be dangerous and ill to our sight the same ma be said of these dying Eyes the Sparks which fall from them have both brightness and heat and I doubt not but they will be able to kindle a Fire in a Heart into which any of them happens to fall By this one may judge of the power of these fair Eyes when they are in their greatest lustre and vigour especially when Wit and Virtue contribute to their Victories It is thus then that these Fair ones attaque us and which oblige us at the sight of their victorious Arms to render our Hearts if we would that our defeat be glorious and our Chains worthy of us and if we would arrive at that charming Island of which I have spoken in which Lovers taste inconceivable Pleasures and Joys of an eternal duration CHAP. III. Of the qualities which a Lover ought to possess to make him capable to please and to render himself beloved by his Mistriss BEfore I speak of the qualities which may render us amiable to these reasonable fair ones which onely deserve to be truely beloved it is necessary to know precisely what Love is Love to define it well is a general alienation of the person who loves it is a Transport without Contract and without hope of return by which we give our selves entirely and without any reserve to the person beloved It is a sweet extasie by which the Soul ceases to live in the Body which it animates for to live in that which it loves From hence it follows that a person who loves passes into the person beloved and assumes in his imagination in his Minde and in his Heart a new and particular being which two Lovers mutually do when Love is reciprocal and thus being united by Reason they live in one another intellectually This being so it follows that to become the moity of an Illustrious Heart that is to say to be beloved of a person of merit it is necessary that our Heart be Illustrious also and that we possess as much merit as that admirable person otherwise these two Hearts can never make that charming Union which makes all the delights of mutual Love The first thing then that we ought to do is to love her by whom we desire to be beloved again for though by a prodigy she may love us without seeing herself beloved her Vertue will disavow her Heart and she will disapprove it as a crime the greatest that can be committed for it is a Maxime among all extraordinary persons of that fair Sex That Love onely is the reward of Love But it is not enough that we love but also that our Love be perfect when you do this you want not the principal means to vanquish her This will give a softness to all our Words a languishing sweetness to our Eyes which will not fail to gain credit with the most inexorable Beauty This Rule being certain that there is nothing more necessary to make our selves beloved than to have Merit and to love perfectly it remains onely that I teach in what true Merit consists First we ought to hold it for an undoubted Principle that it lies in our own power to acquire this Merit for if it be above our forces those which want it by reason of the want of power cannot be disdained without Injustice and from hence it is easie to conclude that Merit consists not in the gifts of Fortune because Fortune it self depends on Destiny or to say better of Chance it follows onely its Decrees and dispences onely her Favours according to her own Capricious humour It wants eyes to consider the beauty of those who implore her and ears to hear the charming words of those who employ them to invite her This true Merit therefore consists not in the goods of Fortune since they are not in our power This true Lovers know so well that instead of searching after them they demonstrate a publick and perpetual contempt of them ad not onely so but as soon as they love they swear to quit all their Fortune for their Mistriss In short the Favours of that capricious Fortune were so little worthy of the esteem of a man of Merit that there are many who have rejected them from the number of Moral Goods for Riches have no other value than what Opinion gives them besides Merit hath this property that it gives a Lustre to him who possesses it whereas Riches are never serviceable to him who hath the possession but are onely enjoyed at the point when he parts with them By consequence Riches cannot make a Lover be beloved of these extraordinary persons for Merit ought to be something within us and which we have acquired our selves Birth has no greater advantage than Riches in its pretensions to true Merit for as I have said Merit depends on our Will but on the contrary our Birth is the effect of Chance a Coat of Arms or the Grandeur of a Family makes not Merit and as Eagles are produced in Deserts Reptiles may be ingendred in Palaces and whilst the highest Mountains are curs'd with an eternal Barrenness the fertile Valleys flourish with Palms and Cedars It is not then from our extraction that we derive our Merit Our Illustrious Ancestors contribute little besides their Examples to make us vertuous nay we may become quite contrary to them in our Inclinations and Lives This is so true that Love it self treats Kings and Shepherds in the same manner Yet think not that Love is the cause of any base Condescention no it is so far from that it raises the least perfect to equal the other It is in this noble Designe that he makes the most perfect of these Lovers to speak in this manner to them they love to inflame them to the Acquest of those Illustrious Qualities that they may entertain and discover their Flame without blemishing their Glory Since Love comands whose Power 's above controul That both should have one Thught and both one Soul Exalt thy Thoughts equal to mine Which cannot without shame descend to thine My Vertue then do thou embrace It will the meanness of thy Birth efface Thus Love by Merit equals two persons of a birth so very much opposite and unites them maugre all this opposition Behold how Love hath no regard to Birth and as that Love whereof I speak is caused and nourished onely by true Merit so I have made it appear that Merit consists no more in high
to the end to be beloved and in order to that Designe which this Noble Love inspires he endeavours to become Good Generous Sweet Liberal Civil Wise and Respectuous he labours to acquire Knowledge Address Discretion and Politeness so that all that is perfect in the World seems the effect of a Vertuous Love I shall take leave to make a short research into the nature and effects of each particular Quality necessary to a Lover That which holds the first Rank in the esteem of Ladies is Valour This Quality alone oft-times proves sufficient to subdue a Heart most difficult to be conquered and few who will not avow their Defeat and boast of the Honour and Glory to see a Conquerour crowned with Laurels become their Captive What Lady can chuse but be pleased to see a valiant man return from the War crowned with Laurels and prostrating himself before her ascribe all his Victories to her Charms and the noble Love she kindled in his breast and when he is in the Field of Battel to hear Fame speak loud of his Atchievements it seems more glorious to 'em to have so valiant a Captive than to be Mistriss of the World But this is yet inferiour to those Ravishments which she finds when this Heroe returns to render her an account of his great Actions and to attribute all the Glory to her To a Merit so extraordinary what scrupulous Heroin will not yield her self with joy To be accounted handsome just and learned and well-favoured all this carries no danger with it says Sir Philip Sydney in his Valour Anotomized but 't is better to be admitted to the Title of Valiant Acts for all Women says he desire to hold him fast in their arms who hath escaped thither through many dangers As this Heroick Valour powerfully attracts a Lady's Heart so Love seldom fails to give Courage to his Slaves to render them amiable Love renders a Lover bold and daring in the pursuit of his Love In short how can any make themselves be loved without this Military Vertue of the greatest part of Women for if they are Idolaters of Glory a Gallant cannot pretend to their Hearts without that Vertue If by just and legitimate Reasons a Lady be stimulated to take Revenge how can he without being capable to execute that Vengeance pretend to a Conquest of her Heart And there are those Women to whom Revenge is so sweet that there is no other means to Charm them Some Women go farther for we have seen even Queens who not onely have given their Hearts but even their Crowns to those who have avenged them so ingenious is that Passion in a great Heart when once it is possess'd of it Yet let us not think that these fair ones are unjust in these kinde of Vengeances for there are some Offences so cruel as those which wound the Honours of an Illustrious person which are not repaired but by the death of those who have committed them It is in these occasions where that valour which I speak of is most necessary for he must be capable to dare all things and to vanquish likewise and a true Lover is never awanting to attempt all things But after all it is necessary to know what this true Valour is lest we take the Shadow for the Substance therefore I shall draw the picture of a Man truly Valiant CHAP. IV. The Character of a Valiant Man THe truely Valiant man enterprizes all things without temerity and atchieves them without fear He doth not seek out Dangers but when he findes them he testifies no less courage in braving of them than in suffering them He faces Death in its most dreadful shape without waxing pale If he be constrained to render himself to this common Enemy of Nature he receives it and despises it together in his last breath He ceases not to frame new designes He prevents all ill success before it arrive and if a misfortune which he has not foreseen creates in him any confusion and fear he patiently supports it His Reason makes all his Passions his Slaves it is his Master and directer in all things and by that Victory which he meditates he procures himself the Peace which he desires When he has any Quarrel he considers not so much the strength of his Arm as his Cause nor his Power so much as his Innocence of which his Sword is the last of his proofs he takes it not in hand so much to attaque as to defend And though no other can use it with so much security or manage it with so much grace it is never seen naked till necessity draw it out of the Scabbard and he chooses that you should see his Blood rather than his Back he buys not his Life by shameful conditions He exercises not so much his Courage as his Charity upon him he has vanquish'd If he receives an injury of a man unequal in strength he shews Compassion and not Choler he extinguishes it and will not take a poor revenge insomuch that it seems a doubt whether he more detests Cowardise or Cruelty He speaks not much but boasts less always acting more with his Hands than with his Tongue In all his resolutions Prudence is his guide he is not troubled with the apprehensions of danger of death and if he be thrifty of his Blood when Honour counsels him to manage it he is prodigal of it When Religion his King or his Country requires him to spend it he changes not his Humour When he changes his Condition he has the same constant minde in all things his Will rules his Power The best revenge that he can exercise is that which he exercises least when 't is in his choice and as he knows how to command without Pride so he knows how to obey without Murmuring because he regards himself as above all accidents and hazards Ignorance and Stupidity are not the principles of his Courage but when he has well examined the Danger he despises it and testifies as little emotion when he is Ship-wrackt as when he embarques He is indefatigable in all his Troubles resolute in his Enterprizes entire in his Resolutions happy in all Success and if he happen to be vanquished his Heart is always the most obstinate and the last which renders it self See the Picture of a truely-valiant man it is a Valour like to this which I require in a Lover to be worthy to be beloved of these perfect Beauties of which I have spoken to wit of those who are enamour'd onely of the Merit of their Lover This is so true that there is not one of these Illustrious Fair ones who love not to bear to the Tomb the name of so Valiant a Husband who places not more Glory in such a glorious Title than in any other And it is impossible to all these Illustrious Lovers of Valour to love any after him they have once loved and their first Love is always the last By this Picture of a Valiant man
her self he will presently reply and so justifies himself that Heaven having made as many different desires as there are Beauties sheweth by that it is its will he should love all and to perswade you the better and to bring you over to his party he malitiously aggravates the pleasures which this distribution of his Heart gives and the disquiett of those who onely love one single person for he addes boldly That he who may please many and will love but one is a great Enemy to his own good Fortune Pleasures are light saith he which are limited but he receives a thousand who loves a thousand Beauties See says he the difference between these two kinde of Lovers and weigh their manners in a just Balance the Inconstant hath a Spirit sweet civil affable and complaisant the Constant is pensive melancholy and unquiet See the reasons of these Inconstants but there is nothing in the World more ridiculous For first it is certain that we cannot divide Love without destroying it and she who doth not possess it entirely possesses it not at all To enumerate all the fatigues that these wandering Lovers endure would much exceed the disquiets that a constant Lover suffers in the pursuit of his Love and is at last recompenced by imperfect Joys and a slight satisfaction not equal to those which a constant Lover enjoys from the equal return of a true and faithful Passion by a Lady in whom he findes all the perfections in the World to delight his Senses and perfections of Minde for the contemplation of his Soul Were it true that the possession of what we love doth necessarily extinguish the amorous Flame they would have some reason but this is a common mistake for our Affections produced by these excellent qualities can never be extinguished for neither Deformity nor Age can deprive them of their Beauty but even when Time or Age hath eclipsed the beauty of the Body these qualities shine out with the greater lustre and more strongly engage and captivate the Soul There are a sort of faithless and inconstant Gallants who will needs maintain themselves to be the most constant in the World say they We always love Beauty and when that forsakes a Lady to love her still would be inconstancy but this merry excuse will not pass for though Beauty fades so fast that it is compared to Roses in the Spring yet if a Lover give his Heart by the consent of his Reason as he ought to do there will remain that Wit and Vertue which will have sufficient Charms to make her ever beloved how little Beauty soever remains Who then can apprehend as dangerous and as destructive to vertuous inclinations a Passion so refin'd which produces in the Soul of Man such glorious effects a Passion which thus ennobles the Minde refines the Spirit and spurs us on to the acquest of all these Illustrious qualities and never ceases till it hath formed us perfectly amiable It is easie from what I have said to see the difference betwixt this reasonable Passion and the Transports of Lust and wilde Desire whose effects and consequences are so fatal to them who are hurried on by its fury to the most unlawful and Villanous Actions of which nothing can resist the Rage and than which nothing more defiles the Soul CHAP. V. Rules for a Gallant in the Conduct of his Love AS Prudence is a necessary and universal Guide in all Enterprizes so it is by that that a reasonable Lover is to commence his Amorous Voyage for it is impossible to put out from the Coast and to sayl with full Sayls without observing the Winds or the Compass without the hazard of perishing And if it be objected that since we love maugre our selves our Actions are consequently out of her government I answer That I onely speak of that Love which is always submitted to Reason and not of that unruly Transport which dethrones it in which sence I maintain that how Amorous soever we are yet we continue free to regulate our Passions and by consequence a Gallant may profitably make use of such Rules if he will as I shall prescribe I say a Gallant because those Rules are different from what I shall prescribe the more Beautiful Sex for they have Rules apart Modesty in a Woman is required Boldness in a Man A Lady sometimes acts prudently in counterfeiting Coldness but a Gallant ought always to testifie an Ardour and Impatience and though he be Ice he ought always to say he burns for an Hippolytus in Love is in this Age very ridiculous The first thing then that a Gallant ought to know that he may love as he ought that is to say to conduct himself in his Love with Prudence is to hold for an undoubted principle That Love ought entirely to possess his Heart and to chase all other Passions from thence to rule alone I acknowledge that Love does not demand so great an Ardour at the first instant how miraculous soe're the Beauty is which renders her self Mistriss of his Heart it exacts onely a simple motion of Love at the first view but when a Lover hath made reflection upon the perfections of her Spirit and Soul he ought to become an Idolater and to love in a manner extraordinary esteeming it his chief Glory to pursue what he loves And which may invite us to love in this manner is that in Love there is nothing which does not justifie the excess The second thing which he is to learn who will be instructed by my Precepts is That he ought to be so loosned from his own Sentiments and so submissive to those of his Mistriss that he always believes that she has Reason in all that she does and in all that she desires And this Resignation ought to go so far as to make him despise the greatest dangers even Death it self in the service of his Mistriss And in that estate he must hold as a Principle assured that there is nothing so glorious nor so sweet to a Lover as that Resignation for if it happen that he die in saving the life of her he loves he finds this sweet in Death that she wishes not to survive him after so great a mark of his Love One thing which ought to contribute the most to comfort a Lover who dies in this manner is That if his Love be grounded upon great Reason even at the beginning of it he holds it to be the infallible Effect of it for he knows that if his Mistriss be inflexible he must die with desire and if she be favourable then he must die with joy and so being resolved to die either by the Malady or by the Remedy he dies content when it is to save the life of his Mistriss There are some Lovers who go yet farther they believe that Life is shameful when they finde no occasion to hazard it for the person they love It is not enough that a Soul of a Lover be full of Love
and that it raigns as Soveraign there and to have that Resignation to her which I have mentioned he must also believe that he never loves enough always wish that he may still love more and the reason of this is there is no Lover who does not discover from day to day some new perfections in his Mistriss therefore there ought not to be one moment in which his Passion ought not to augment according to the increase of his knowledge to which end a Lover ought always to exaggerate to himself the Beauty of his Mistriss that it may entertain and augment his Passion With this Love I would also have joyned as much Respect and when a Lover hath as much trembled by one as burn'd by the other let him in her presence extol every Perfection yet there are strict Measures to be observed in this especially with Ladies of excellent Spirits The Indiscretions of some Gallants in this Matter are very much to be pitied their Praises are so extravagant that they loose their effect and winning no belief from their Mistriss make their Sincerity and Wit suspected Praises are most pleasing to all when they are bestowed by way of reflection a Lady then attentively listens to 'em without Blushes and wihtout being put to the pain to defend her self A Lover ought to seem to have so great an opinion and veneration of the modesty of his Mistriss that he should seem affraid to displease her even by just Praises This is a silent Commendation which produces an extraordinary Effect There are some indiscreet Gallants who are yet more unlucky whose Praises turn to Affronts by misplacing them When absence separates a Lover from his Mistriss let him teach every place the cause of his Grief and Inquietude and let some prudent Confident betray him to his Mistriss and let him not be wanting himself to make known the grandeur of his Love by that of his Sufferings in these or such-like words 1. Ask my Celinda how Almedor lives When absent from your eyes No Joy nor Pleasure he receives But every minute dies 2. Behold the Sun whose Rays adorn Heaven with their glorious Light When absent all the Earth doth mourn In Funeral-robes of Night 3. Each pretty Flower doth hang its head And drooping fades away The Rose it self looks pale and dead At the departure of the day 4. Thus my Celinda when your eyes Conceal their amorous Fire Doubts and Despairs in mydark Soul arise And poor Almedor straight expires And as a Lover should esteem nothing so precious as the presence of his Mistrise because the presence of the Object beloved is his Sun which dissipates the sorrow of his Life and the fear of Death therefore I would have him when he goes to see her whom he loves testifie to her his joy with all the variety of expression that his fancy can furnish him withal and to the end that tha fair one may see upon his face and by his words that Joy which he boasts in his Letters and that she may know by that Excess the Power which she has over his Senses let him express it so well that she may be convinced that he believes nothing can be added to the happiness of him who loves an extraordinary person when he sees her and is well received 't is then he must continue to pour upon her words which express his Transport and as in an extasie shew the infinite Pleasure he takes if he might always be so happy as to live in her presence These Rules without any other doubtless are sufficient to conduct a Lover to the happy Port where he would arrive if he make use of them as he ought and I dare assure him that they will never fail for what Lady can refuse her Heart to a Passion so submissive and respectuous and who can take it from him after 't is given this without doubt is impossible without he meets with that Monster which he may encounter in his amorous progress and which a man always cannot overcome This Monster is Jealousie for it is so cruel that it quite strangles Love even in its full strength and though it be its Father it is a Serpent covered with Flowers and a Dragon which always wakes and though it hath a hundred Eyes which never close yet so it is that its sight is always deluded the Senses are always troubled with false Objects and it incessantly rends the Heart In short it is an indiscreet Counsellor which hath nothing for its end but to destroy all the reasonable Maximes and the Rules which I give for in mocquery it impudently says to those who hearken to it that Discretion Respect Fear and Submission are onely the testimonies of a moderate Love and that the true marks of a perfect Lover are Suspitions Choler and Rage and it is so skilful in its Malice that it strengthens its Councels with reasons very just in appearance that it is scarce possible to escape being seduced For it presently tells you that you never see a great Smoak but it is a signe of a great Fire there is no Transport which proceeds not from a great Love and that Love resembles a Fever which as it hath its Coldnesses so it hath its Heats See what this Monster suggests without cease to a poor Lover and by the little that he hears he receives the pestilential vapour and Jealousie enters through his Eyes and occupies his sick fancy Thence to the Heart it transmits its venome disturbs his Reason alters his Spirit and excites his Choler And then you cannot imagine that this turbulent Passion is idle and without action in the Heart of a Lover for when once it is kindled by that Monster it makes him resent all the tortures of Fear and Suspition and deprives his Senses and his Soul of all repose and throwing Ice into the midst of Fire it causes an antipathy whereof the Combat makes life languish without end troubling perpetually the Reason by the vain Phantomes which it continually forms and exposes Love to the fury of all its Enemies It is this jealous Fear without doubt which is the greatest Evil that a Lover can be sensibleof it proceeds from the belief that another is beloved by her he loves Yet it is not altogether unjust to be a little jealous and as if he was assured that he has all the World for Rivals When a Gallant loves perfectly and a Mistriss that hath much Wit suffers her self to be adored of another to augment his submission and his Love he cannot but be a little jealous but he must make an advantage of it and for that reason when he perceives himself the least toucht with that distemper he must not imprison it in his Breast for the more he conceals it within it will at one time or other make the more violent eruption But because a declaration of it is very dangerous and that it requires peculiar Rules let a Lover follow these which I shall
that you will force at last the most cruel Beauty to love you and at last to avow her love to you She will blush without doubt when she first gives you this knowledge but be not alarm'd at that for it is not at her Love she blushes but at the confession of it and in the end that you may not doubt it when she sees that you observe her disturbance she will say to you obligingly My Blushes proceed not from the Cause that you think yet alas I know not whether it be Confusion or Love I finde you too worthy to be loved not to suspect my self but my Spirit is too high and I can suffer rather the fire in my Heart than in my Mouth and Love shews to me more hard to name than think 'T is this that finishes the Union of two souls who are born one for another and which are linked together by these invisible Bonds that they have no longer than one life because they have no longer but one Heart and it is that sweet Union which forms that amorous Circle in which Lovers are eternally happy For when a Lady testifies her love n the manner that I have supposed a Lover becomes Ravished and Charmed and vows himself entirely to her and submits himself to her without reservation and every minute is enflamed more and more by these amorous Transports It is in these mutual Endearments and Tendernesses which two Lovers which follow the Rules which I have established arrive at the Port and there taste eternal happiness CHAP. VI. Rules for the Conduct of a Lady in an affair of Love THere is no less care and circumspection required in a Lady than in a Gallant at the commencement of an Amour For those enflamed and languishing looks which appear often very passionate yet they are not always true lest therefore a Lady be seduced too soon by false appearances it is necessary that they make this as a certain Maxime That the Faith of Lovers is a very slippery Pledge That their Oaths are vain and their Wit a Deceiver And that their Passions are generally more in their Mouths than in their Hearts This may teach them that they be not too easie of belief in those things which they see and hear said for they may easily mistake a Flame which is onely feigned for a true whereof these false Lovers will boast at their expence yet I would not that they should be too disdainful but that they might take those Methods that might make themselves the more to be valued that a Lover may better know the price of their Loves before it be obtained They ought not to shew at first either Contempt or Rigour for that rather chaces away than gains a Lover Nor ought they to yield their Hearts as soon as they are sollicited for that is rather the effect of a foolish pity than of the merit of their Gallants and he will not be apt to esteem that much which costs him so little and is acquired with so much ease it is thus that these fierce fair ones captivate Hearts by a noble Pride for in despising Love at the first they at last triumph with the greater Power but as I have already said they must not appear too disdainful for by that they totally lose a Lover who possibly will never be reclaimed A Lady then must not be too disdainful nor hold a Lover too long in her Chains for Patience may forsake the Inamarato especially those of the greatest mindes and courages No more must she be too easie to confide too much in the appearances of a passionate Love since thereby she becomes liable to be deceived But let a Lady act with so much prudence that she may gain the perfect knowledge of her Lover's Heart before she trust But see what measures a Lady takes who intends to engage her Lover and to render the blessing more dear and desirable When a Lover hath discovered his Passion to the end to make him more ardently wish a Pleasure which is onely great according to the Grandeur of his desire before she suffers her self to be moved to pity she takes some time to make proof of his Constancie and covers her cruelty and injustice with the Vail of Honour and of Chastity and to render the happiness more great after the pain and to appear more amiable she seems inhumane and oft-times counterfeits an excessive Pride the better to charm with her Caresses But as her most principal work in this Art is to please she makes her Eyes look sweet when her Mouth is severe and lets her Lover see in casting upon him a dying look that her fierceness combates whilst her Heart renders up it self It is thus that a Lady ought to behave her self to her Lover after she hath tried his love by all the disguises that she can invent to be more certain of the true estate of his Heart But these artifices and these rigours ought not to continue after she has gained this knowledge but she ought to return love for love when she is once assured of the love and merit of her Servant for 't is this alone that finishes and establishes the Conquest of her Lover who will be apt to revolt when he finds his subjection too severe There are some Ladies who serve themselves very successfully of Choler in the engaging their Lovers Hearts but in this it is requisite that their Choler be feigned and appear to be light for there is nothing more dreadful and full of Transport than a Woman in fury I condemn not sometimes some little Coldnesses which these fair ones make use of for there are some who have such a grace in this artificial Coldness that a Lover sometimes chuses rather to see himself disdained by her than to be caressed by others But to succeed in this there is required a peculiar Talent which is very difficult to obtain for it is necessary that it be very natural not onely to please but not to repulse I would not have a Lady so prodigal of her advances that she shew her Eyes sweet to all who make their addresses because this is the quality of a perfect Wanton for the property of a Wanton is to make a great amaze of Sweetness obliging Words Caresses Cares Tendernesses and false Regards which promises all things to credulous Lovers without giving any thing in effect See how one of these Coquets boasts her self and how she makes her own Picture As for me says she I love every where and without neglecting the least Conquest I strive to engage all all things contribute to my good Fortune and amongst a thousand I render one or other jealous and though I have one Heart I promise it to all whilst every one endeavours to please me and each lives in hope The absence of any one afflicts me not for a thousand others that are present take from me the thoughts of them who are absent I fear neither Death nor Change there remains
choice which he knows to be made without Love or without Disdain of him he ought to be appeased and an Heroick courage ought to pardon her for following that ambitious order of her duty to comfort himself for it and to deceive his grief in believing that her Heart has not followed her hand when she gave it It is then requisite for a Lady who will love according to Reason not to return love till she knows her self to be beloved nor to love against her Duty or against her Glory but yet this is not enough for she must also avoid a thousand little weaknesses which may blemish the glory of her love and above all Jealousie for there is nothing renders one of so tedious and disagreeable a humour as Jealousie nor nothing which hinders her more from appearing amiable For when a Soul is possessed the Fancy is troubled with a thousand different motions of Love Rage Despite Fear and a million of other tumultuous Passions and in that estate the Soul languishes miserably without knowing the grief which wounds it A Lady must then as I have said never be Jealous but always appear gay and with a smiling countenance for there is nothing so disagreeable as those inequal humours which are sometimes gay and affable and sometimes sad and froward and they are so far from pleasing that there is not one Lover who can endure a Lady of this humour and who will not in the end quit her with Reproaches Shun then these inequal capricious humours if you would conserve your Conquests and above all be constant and faithful that your Lovers may follow your example for if you be light and unfaithful your Lovers will become so also though it be onely for honour-sake to be quit with you but above all have a care when years begin to diminish your attractions Let therefore your love endure as long as you live and when you die die faithful because as I have said in another place That Love is onely the reward of Love and a true Heart never wants Charms for another that is equally honest and true Behold the principal Maximes that Ladies who desire to govern themselves prudently ought to follow and these are sufficient provided the beauty of their Spirits and of the Soul be as great as that of their Bodies In fine if two persons such as I have described love truely and follow my precepts no Age or Deformity can ever make them unhappy by diminishing their mutual loves Thus I have shewn that Love may be subjected by Reason how great soever its power is and that the most scrupulous Vertue may not onely be permitted to love but to avow the same if she follow the Rules I have given which teach how to master the Master of the World and that there is nothing more sweet or more innocent than Love which addes a sweetness to all other Pleasures when 't is guided by Reason for otherwise to Love is to give up our selves to perpetual disquiets and to joyn to the most sorrowful Days more tedious and unquiet Nights and to banish for ever Repose and Joy CHAP. VII How to discover when a Mistriss returns us with Love AFter all the great difficulty which remains is how to discern whether the Love which is pretended be real and whether a true Passion be not repayed onely by artifice The usual flattery of our selves does commonly betray us into an easie belief that we are beloved There are few Ladies how ugly soe're they are yet when they consult their Glasses do fancy some peculiar grace or other capable enough to conquer more than one single heart and few Gallants who do not imagine something extraordinary in their persons and deportment worthy of esteem This Self-opinion contributes so much to their being deceived that it is not onely in vain but injurious for a man to perswade his Friend with Arguments drawn from any imperfection in himself not to be too credulous in this Affair First we must observe well and attentively all the motions of her eyes it is by them that we most usually discover the state of her Heart how exquisite soe're she be in dissimulation These ardent and indiscreet Libertines cannot retain her secrets and they cannot long dissemble for the more they strive to conceal it the more they make it appear 'T is not very easie for a Lover to endure the brightness of the eyes of his Mistriss for they usually imprint so much fear that the most bold cannot behold them long without trembling but maugre this respectuous fear we must regard fixedly those fair eyes and hearken attentively to their Language since it is by them chiefly that we can come to the knowledge of her Heart Observe then first if her Looks be sweet and languishing for nothing so much manifests the state of a Heart as the languishing of the Eyes Yet though this languishing does not appear we must not presently conclude that our Mistriss has not Love in her heart for sometime the eye is grave when the heart is sensible though it is an undoubted Mark that the Heart is touched when her Looks are sweet and languishing If then we do not observe it we must not be repulsed by that for there are a thousand other Marks which will make known the state of the Heart We may conceive great hopes when we find our Mistriss confused at our presence and to speak in disorder and unusual constraint in her actions proceeding from an endeavour to appear more agreeable in her conversation and behaviour This amiable Constraint is very different from the ordinary Affectation of those pert and impertinent Melantha's which is so tedious and ridiculous and it is very distinguishable from that want of breeding and bashful simplicity of young Country-Ladies and indeed that Love is very much to be suspected which does not produce these kind of disorders and confusions From hence it is that the very name of her we love causes such an emotion as doth easily discover the Sentiments which we endeavour industriously to conceal Love may work many of these effects and yet not be absolutely perfect or refin'd therefore let us carefully examine whether Ambition or Avarice make not up part of its Composition for if it have these ingredients a Lover cannot promise himself to be longer happy than he is fortunate for that love is onely nourished by Plenty and is blasted by the frowns of Fortune But he who loves truely and as he ought sacrifices his Ambition and Avarice to his bove For Love a Lover doth all things forgo None can adore his Gold and Mistriss too He who himself doth to Love's Altar bring Thinks all he has too cheap an Offering He doth his Gold and such base thrift despise Offering with that his Blood a Sacrifice He in whose Heart so noble a flame doth rule His Mistriss to preserve would loss his Soul If then we finde any remains of these two Passions we may conclude that
not understand the language of Love 45. When a Lover loves without being beloved again he suffers alone but when he is beloved the Ills and Blessings are divided betwixt them 46. A Lady is injurious to her Lover if she believe he hath all he desires when he ceases to complain for when she hears him sigh she ought to be assured he still wants something 47. When our Mistriss commands us to do any thing nothing should hinder us from giving a blinde obedience Love is above all and when it speaks we must not hear any other 48. When a fair Lady accepts the Vows of her Lover the happiness that he tastes is so excessive that he doubts whether she speak sincerely or not so much his Reason doth oppose his Belief and surprized with so much felicity he doubts whether he be awake or no and his Ravishment takes from him the liberty to express his Joy and to return his thanks to his Mistriss 49. When a Lover apprehends the infidelity of his Mistriss his Constancy almost forsakes him and the most great Heart is oppressed with such great displeasures that the most resolute Vertue loses all its power and when he loves perfectly Death would trouble him less than such a surprize 50. The Fair suffer great regrets when they have pass'd their youth without loving and when they love upon their declining for 't is then out of season and Love will not fail to revenge himself soon or late and then laughs at them 51. An old man cannot love without being scoft at for certainly a wrinkled Forehead mingles but a very lamentable Charm with fine sayings 52. To live without loving is not to live at all and we onely can say we live whilst we love the Sun sets and rises every day the Spring-time renews every year but the destiny of the Fair is very cruel when their fair Eyes do once lose their lustre and are closed by death they will be eternall so 53. When one loves a fair Lady who hath forsaken another though the disgrace of the other pleases a new Lover yet he hath reason to be disquieted at it and how firmly establisht so e're he be in the heart of that Mistriss yet he ought to fear his good fortune when that Mistriss is fickle and vain and be afraid that he may lose what he has gained as well as the other 54. A Lover who sees himself betrayed by hsi Mistriss cannot better revenge himself than in making his Love yield to his Reason 55. A Lover ought not to kill his Rival to revenge himself of an unfaithful Mistriss for the pleasure he receives from his Vengeance affords but false Sweets which are accompanied with bitterness the death of a Rival the Tears of an ingrateful Woman have something in them which at present flatters him but when he at the same time sees himself more hated than he was before he findes his Soul tortured by an eternal regret of his Crime and wounded most by his own vengeance 56. A fair Lady loves not but with repugnance because she believes every one ought to pay her homage 57. When despite proceeds from a great love we say we hate but yet we love 58. A Lady who doth not appear angy when she hath reason to be so is more to be feared than one who makes a great noise 59. When we quit a Mistriss for another and yet the first continues her love to us we become very miserable for we cannot chuse but have a great compassion for her and regret for our own ingratitude 60. To judge well of the Heart of a Lady we must see her rarely in publick for if she make her love very much appear it is known of all the World if she conceal it we believe she has no love at all and thus we shall never be satisfied FINIS