Selected quad for the lemma: love_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
love_n	convenient_a	desire_n	great_a	44	3	2.1117	3	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A14989	A bride-bush, or A vvedding sermon compendiously describing the duties of married persons: by performing whereof, marriage shall be to them a great helpe, which now finde it a little hell.	Whately, William, 1583-1639.	1617 (1617)	STC 25296; ESTC S101310	36,172	54

A BRIDE-BVSH OR A WEDDING SERMON Compendiously describing the duties of Married Persons By performing whereof Marriage shall be to them a great Helpe which now finde it a little Hell Marriage is honourable amongst all men but Whoremongers and Adulterers God will iudge Heb. 13.4 Printed at London by William Iaggard for Nicholas Bourne and are to be sold at his shop at the entrance into the Royall Exchange 1617. To the Reader CHristian Reader Marriage hath scarse more that vse then that accuse it Most men enter into this estate and beeing entred complaine therof They should rather complaine of themselues It is an vniust thing and a fruit of ignorant pride to cast the blame of our greeuances vpon Gods ordinances I had bene happie saith one had I not bene married Then wast thou foolish both before and since thy marriage Vse it well it shall adde to thine happinesse We make bitter sawce and cry out that the meate is bitter Thou liuest in Matrimony not after Gods direction but the rules crooked rules they be of thine owne lusts and then sayest Oh that I had neuer married Oh that I were vnmarried For shame keepe silence thy crying shewes thy disease Thou art indeed married to an ill companion thy wicked flesh that body of death that old husband and art pestered with its brood and neither seekest a diuorce from this tyrant nor endeauourest to crucify the wicked off-spring thereof Hence are thy woes not thy Husband not thy Wife but thy pride thy passion cause all this annoyance all this discontentment I labour in this little Treatise to plead the cause of marriage not so much directly in speech as indeede actually by directing the married to the knowledge and practise of their duties which would mend all These what soeuer man and woman indeuour to follow if they prooue not marriage a solace to their soules and refreshing to their other greefes let mee neuer but greeue These things I commend to thine vnderstanding to thy life vse them and then say how thou speedest I intended them at first for a few and now communicate them to many It is no vncharitable I am sure I hope no vnprofitable deed I desire thou shouldest make some vse of them therefore I make them publicke if not bee ignorant and complaine still I meane them not to the learned that can finde out better directions for themselues but to those whose place is not too good to learne of the meanest Teacher euen vnto men of the same ranke as they for the most part were to whom I spake them If this worke profite I am glad then I know it shall please howsoeuer thou hast it Reader and better shouldst haue had if my store affoorded any better I hope thou wilt not blame me for meaning well and doing no harme So I commend thee to the Lord. Banburie August 20. 1608. Thine in the Lord W. W. A BRIDE-BVSH OR A Wedding Sermon IF it were not growne out of custome to preach without a text I should thinke that the fittest course for meetings of this nature No one place of Scripture doth either directly containe or plainly expresse the full dutie of the married couple which yet from many places may well bee collected into the body of one discourse But lest I should seeme to affect nouelty in recalling the long disused practise of antiquity I will make the ground of all my speech those words of the Apostle Paul Ephes 5.23 where hee saith The Husband is the Wiues head THe comparison which the holy Ghost heere vseth affords this generall point That there is a mutuall bond of duty standing betwixt man and wife They are indebted each to other in a reciprocall debt The parcels and specials of which debt I am at this time to declare vnto you for the direction of all such as either are or shall be entred into this estate 2 Now that we may proceed in some order for the help of our owne and your memories these duties are all of two kinds Some be principall some lesse principall Principall I terme those by the breach whereof this knot is dissolued and quite vndone and which being obserued other smaller infirmities notwithstanding the bond remaines entire on both sides 3 These maine duties are two The first is the chaste keeping of each ones body each for other The Husband must not dare to giue himselfe to any woman in this world but to his wife nor the wife to company with any vnder heauen besides her owne husband Against which duty if either of them shall offend the party so transgressing hath committed adultery broken the couenant of God remooued the yoke from the yoke fellowes neck and laide himselfe open if the Magistrate did as Gods law commands to the bloody stroke of a violent death Leu. 20.40 Deut. 21.22 But if it be demanded whether the party wronged may lawfully admit the other party againe after the offence knowne I answer that in case the man or woman haue offended once or so through infirmity and yet beeing conuicted shall by manifest outward tokens testifie his or her repentance and sure desire of amendment then it is meet and conuenient that this offence bee by the yoke-fellow passed by for the loue of the married couple should be very feruent and abundant and therefore able to passe by great yea the greatest wrongs so farre as it may with safe conscience be done And we reade not of any expresse commandement which enioynes a finall separation But againe I say that in case the party transgressing shall continue in the begunne fault and declare himselfe irreformable the party thus iniuried is bound in conscience both to complaine of the sinne and separate himselfe vtterly for no man must make himselfe a member of an harlot nor woman of an whore-master The chiefe thing therefore that married people must take heed of is this lest by any means they should so farre offend God neglect their publick couenant wrong their yoke-fellow scandalize the Church pollute their bodies and aduenture their soules to damnation as to follow strange flesh and receiue vnto the vse of their bodies any besides themselues whom God hath coupled together and sanctified one for another Yet not alone the grosse act of adultery but all such ouer-familiar and light behauiours as may giue either occasion or suspition of an euill meaning must be by them forborne shunned alwayes bearing in minde the graue speech of wise Salomon Prou. 6 29. Whosoeuer toucheth her speaking of his neighbors wife shall not be innocent Let no man therfore let no woman take this burning fire into their bosomes or walk vppon these scorching coales And for the principall dutie so much 4. The next is cohabitation or dwelling together enioined in expresse termes to the husband by the Apostle Peter who bids him 1 Peter 3 7 Dwell with his Wife and therefore by good consequent extending to her also for who can dwel with a woman

gouerne his wife prouoke her to accomplish his will with quiet pleasing and insinuating termes rather than open and expresse much lesse violent commandings vnlesse shee bee more then ordinarily vnruly Christ beseecheth his Church most an end which hee might with most right command Let the husband imitate that best husband and beware of Doe it or you had best and You shall whether you will or no I will haue it so to crosse you c. Such an husband will crosse himselfe most Violent things are neuer of long continuance And this is mildnesse in commanding 24. It must bee vsed in reprouing where it is rather more necessary by how much bitternesse is lesse to bee brooked and a reproofe lesse easie to bee borne And this must also be shewed in the matter and in the manner of a reproofe For the matter in not finding fault for euery trifle that he sees amisse nor chiding for euery infirmity Many things must be passed by yea all things that be not somewhat grosse and would endanger the wiues selfe if she should not heare of them roundly with none or halfe a word This effect of loue is very needfull towards strangers that it passeth by wants and weakenesses much more in the houshold and in the nearest couple of the houshold Charity is in this sense a great couer-fault it will see none but where they be and many it will see and not see and not speake of and it descends to a reproofe with a willing vnwillingnesse This vertue should abound in this society Heere Christs example must bee followed of all husbands He shuts his eyes as it were and will not spy out all his Churches faults hee will not marke extremely what is done amisse he knowes she is but dust and is assured that she cannot but offend in many things Yet hee puts it vp and not so much as checkes her vnlesse she comes to some wilfulnes in sinning Let all that be husbands doe likewise consider you be matched with women the weaker vessels thinke how many faults your selues haue and if they haue some wonder not that they be so many but that not more and with silence so much as is possible and when it is lawfull to be silent viz. in weakenesses and infirmities striue to amend them It is a great deale safer heere to bee defectiue than to exceed to be somewhat purblinde than too Eagle-eyed In this inwardnes of conuersation it is impossible but diuers wants shall offer themselues to be seene and he that will prye for them and take occasion vpon euery slight matter to draw forth his reproofe shal himselfe liue in perpetuall discontentment yeeld but little quiet to his wife For from hence shee will conceiue and that not without some cause that he loues her not much and this will cause their affections to warpe and chap till all be full of dissention Be not extreme heere be not rigorous but as a mothers tendernes of loue makes her not respect or obserue many deformities in her owne childe so stand thou affected to thine owne wife Pray to God against all her faults commend vnto her all vertues reproue not lesser wants natural weaknesses let her perceiue closely that thou knowest but art not willing to take notice of them that she may take the more diligent notice thereof herselfe and be more carefull to reforme them 25. Moreouer for the manner of reprouing when the thing is most needfull it must yet be gentle The words and behauiour vsed to declare and presse the fault vpon her must be milde and such as breathe forth loue pity A reproofe must be applied as a plaster not with rating but with moaning rather It cannot be auoided no not in the best but this medicine wil be needed yet the husband must remēber not to vse more roughnes than is fit to his owne flesh Reproofe of it selfe as it were a potion goes against the stomack we neede not by our bitternes make it more lothsome as it were by a foule vnsightly cup. The mothers care must be shewed heere She giues the childe worme-seede to kill the wormes and raisins to till downe the worme-seed so must a man reprehend to reproue the fault and yet with great louingnes of speech and countenance to sweeten the reprehension No patient was neuer yet so sicke and desirous of health that he could be perswaded to drinke a potion scalding hot that which burnes the lips would neuer finde admittance into the stomack though it were the most wholsome drink It is iust so with a reproofe if it scalde the eare as I may so speake with vpbraiding and disgracefull speeches with bitter taunts scoffes and mocks with vilifying and rayling words with a fierie looke and as arkling eye with a raging exaltation of the voyce and demeanure of the body it will neuer gaine passage to the hart Compassion loue kindnes declaration of ones sorrow for the fault desire of their good and will of their amendment these be the things that frame the will to accept an admonition and do much helpe the kindly working of it I am not against the wholesome earnestnesse of reprouing and that sharpnes which in some cases God commands this may stand without bitternesse without violence of words and gesture without that fiercenesse against which we speake A thing need not to be key-cold though it scalde not there is a large difference betweene these two Then an admonition is healthfully sharpe and earnest when a man in plainnesse with good termes layes open the absurdity naughtinesse and danger of the sinne enforcing these considerations vpon the heart and conscience of the party euen somewhat lamentably and with some mouing but still with declaration of sorrow more then anger and this ought to bee done In one word therefore let thy reproofes bee warme not hot And thus much for the practise of mildnes 26. The third vertue to bee shewed by the husband is Iustice the soule of gouernment the true temperature of authority without which it rots and putrifieth and degenerates into the most fulsome and stinking carrion of tyranny Now the husband must deale iustly with his wife in foure things First in allowing her sufficient maintenance agreeable to his place and ability and that willingly and with a liberall hand Hee must not thinke himselfe so absolutely Lord of all but that shee must also haue the free and plentifull vse of all according as his calling requires and his sufficiency will beare Indeed if she should exceede both or either of these his authority must sound retraite vnto her lauishnesse neither must he weaken much lesse ouerthrow his estate by pranking her body and feeding her tooth this were after a sort to kill himselfe her his children and whole family with fondnesse towards her a part full of vnrighteousnesse But let her be made equall partner of that which her husband hath So be it she cut her coate according to her cloath