be nigh us and how do we cast our selves down before him at his feet and bewail our infirmities and weaknesses begging strength from him to support and keep us up how do we wonder and are astonisht to see the fire of his wrath kindled against the wicked and against evil doers and yet that such wicked evil doers as we are are not consumed to see fire in the bush and yet the bush not burnt 11. Thus we may plainly see that God seeth all to be good for us yea best of all which he sendeth us causing every thing to work together for our good Ah seeing then that his love mercy and goodnesse is such and so great for us let us always mightily praise him and prize him at the very highest price and give up our spirits souls and bodyes to live to him and for him and unto and for his praise honour and glory it being our glory and our honour our happiness and our bliss that he is such a God as he is To him alone therefore be given alwayes all honour and glory and praise for ever and for ever 12. Laying out is laying up laying out of earthly treasure on earth with a heavenly heart is to lay up heavenly treasure in Heaven according to Gods word and his heart 13. God giveth unto his Children of his own strength to overcome as it were himself he delighteth to be as it were overcome by them And to make us more than Conquerours 14. Ah the mercy the mercy and bounty of God and the misery of man that God being such a God as he is should notwithstanding continue to do so much for man and man nevertheless continue continually to do so much against his God I say against his God even then when he knoweth God to be his God 15. Ah Lord how is it that thou should'st take pleasure to mind us so much as thou dost although thou knowest well our evil minds and how little we mind thee and although thou tellest us by thine own spirit how that we are near and dear unto thee even alwayes in thy mind and heart to do us good for ever and for ever Ah how great is our misery to have such depraved natures and such Devil-like hearts to pay thy merciful kindnesse with such high unkindnesse and ingratitude to thee who art our only good 16. How is it O Lord that thou takest such continual care and payns as it were and art at so much cost to overcome us with thy loving kindnesse and yet we remain so brutish and senslesse stupid and unkind that we will not but refuse to be overcome 17. Ah the misery the misery of man who is never weary nor would never be weary of doing evil yea all manner of evil against his most kind and loving Lord and God who is so good to him as he is never weary nor repents of doing of him good notwithstanding his continual doing of evil or doing of all evil continually 18. A good heart giveth unto the Lord freely cheerfully willingly and rejoycingly of all that he hath and alwaies acknowledgeth and saith of thine own O Lord I will and do give thee 19. When that the Lord giveth unto such a soul Grace he giveth him Glory when he giveth him outward things he praiseth him and enlargeth his bowels of compassion unto the Saints 20. Such hearts desire mightily largnesse of heart or large hearts to give according to what they receive whether it be Spirituals or Temporals nothing is so near or dear unto them as the work of the Lord which is to do his will in all things from the very highest of Grace to the very lowest of things in Nature 21. Ah Lord God let me alwaies bear thee in mind when ever I mind that is think on any thing 22. Let me O Lord I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee do every thing that I do as knowing and remembring that thou seest and all knowest the thoughts of my heart and writest down all my words and works on thy blessed book of remembrance 23. Let me do all that I do before men as before thee O God my God knowing that thou seest it and hearest it 24. And all that I take in hand to do O God before thee Let me do it all as if all the men in the World did look on me and see it 25. Norwithstanding the greatnesse and numberless number of my sins thy goodnesse O God was so great towards me as moved thee to have compassion on me and to pour out thy endlesse and everlasting Love and kindnesse in mercy upon me 26. Also O God thou causedst my own sins to appear so great and filthy before me that I was thereby ashamed of my self and confounded before thee 27. So that seeing my self thus polluted filthy abominable and unclean yea abominably unclean I left my self willingly I hated and do hate and do hate my self truly and I imbraced through Grace thy most gratious offers of Grace Love and Mercy heartily and unfeignedly returning unto thee with my whole heart desiring entirely and sinserely an entire change from all evil to all good from my own evil waies to thy most blessed waies that are so good so sweet so beautiful so delightful that since the knowledge of them my soul hath been often delighted refreshed feasted and satisfied in them and with them 28. Ah mercy of mercies that thou wouldest O God be pleased thus in mercy to look on me when I was fit and ripe for all thy Judgments And when thou mightest justly have poured out the viols of thy wrath and fury upon me with the greatest indignation that then even then to kindle the flames of Love in my heart from the continual burnings in thine O God in thine to love fear seek adore and serve thee unfiegnedly with my whole heart Ah what mercy to this mercy 29. Continue O God that art my God and only good continue Ah continue I most humbly beseech thee to be thus merciful unto me that I turn not thy Grace into wantonnesse but in some measure labour and strive to walk worthy of these thy rich and saving mercies with which thou hast and wilt for ever inrich my poor Soul with and save it 30. As a natural Father a Father in the flesh is and must be still a Father and a child a child so me thinks it is with God our Heavenly and Spiritual Father he having once begotten us and we are born again and are become his children by the Grace of Adoption Justification and Sanctification he must be still our Father and we his children unto Eternal Salvation Though we do many times as fleshly children not alwaies do the will of their Fathers in the flesh not please them alwaies not satisfie or delight them nor give them content yet notwithstanding they are still children nor they cannot cease to be children nor their Father to be their Father even so though we do not alwaies do
lusts and affections cost thou find all evil inclinations mortified have they all received a deadly wound do they all stink in thy Nostrils as they do in Gods and are they all loathsome unto thee as they are unto him and detested by thee with thy whole heart as by God that is in truth and sincerity of heart and as well and as much secret airy vaine foolish thoughts that disturb thy peace and thy Communion with God as open sins so that Gods nature divine Image and resemblance is most of all dear pretious and delightful unto thee and thou labourest with tooth and naile to preserve it with a continual heedful watchful careful care so that to do good is habitual in thee yea as it were natural it is all thy delight joy rejoycing end and ayme dost thou hartily hare all the former evil that was in thy heart loathing detesting and abhorring the sins of thy life heretofore thy heretofore sins are all their sweets become to thy tast bitter as gall and wormwood are all their pleasures altogether unsavory unpleasant and so loathsome as thy very heart riseth aganist them and loatheth the very thoughts of them do they appear unto thee all both the great and the small in their own black colours filthy and ugly hue is there no one lull'd in thy bosome hugg'd in thine arms imbraced in thine heart pleasant in thine eye sweet to thy tast or winkt or connived at as a small one or but as one as a dear one even near and dear as a right eye or a right hand but are they all both great and small known or unknown secret as well as open like unto thee exceeding yea above measure loathsome and sinful dost thou watch against them alwayes and not suffer any one when he peeps in to come in dost thou flye from them all as thou would'st do from the Devil from Hell and from the greatest of Gods Judgments and Eternal wrath are they to thee as a Hell yea as the worst of Hell in Hell dost thou feel the burthen of but one sin though not committed altogether willingly or with delight to be heavier then the whole earth and had'st rather have all the Rocks and Mountains in the whole world to fall on thee to lye upon thee then one willing sin committed to lye upon thee and is sin thus hated loathed detested and abhorred by thee because it is sin because it is a breach of Gods holy Laws and divine Commandments which are altogether all holy just and good because they disturb thy peace and thy communion with God and are contrary to thy nature in truth as to Gods nature and because they make thee to lose thine image and likeness of God and Christ and converse with the Spirit of grace who is thy sole and souls comfort and comforter and for that they make thee vile in Gods eyes and disobedient unto him for whom thou art and wert created and for whom and unto whom thou desirest to live to love to fear to honour and to obey for ever and for ever 93. Art thou conformable to Christ thy head thy husband thy Lord and thy King Doth he wholly reign and rule in thy heart with consent applause delight joy and rejoycing and in and over all the faculties of thy soul and members of thy body Art thou holy as he is holy pure as he is pure and perfect as he is perfect that is sincere in truth truly sincere in all thy actions and affections Art thou within as thou seemest to be without and dost thou labour much more to be approved applauded esteemed and honoured by God and in his sight than by men and in their sight Dost thou stick only to him cleave to him and hold him fast with true faithful sincere ardent continual and loving embraces and choosest him only for thy choice for thy chief Superiour best and soveraign good for thy heaven for thy happiness and for thy felicity peace rest and blessedness Is there nothing in heaven so dear and pretious unto thee as is thy God thy Christ nor in all the earth in comparison of him Dost thou much more love heaven for God than God for heaven 94. Is Jesus Christ become to thee so great gain as for his sake thou carest not what loss thou dost fustain Temporal or Spiritual so that thou maiest live the life of the righteous to his praise honour and glory Thou carest not what be thy condition nor where thy place of abode be nor with whom nor what be thy life nor what thy death be though poor hunger-starved full of scabs botches and sores from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot like unto Job or Lazarus so as there be no whole place in thee and though thou shouldst be as they were defamed vilified condemned cast out scoffed at mocked lie in the dust on a dunghill be fed with the dogs yea refused what is given them even the very Crums that fall under other mens Tables yea though thou shouldst be banished imprisoned persecuted scourged whipped tormented rackt torn by wild horses consumed by fire or drown'd in the depth of the sea 95. Canst thou choose any of all these yea all these and all other afflictions whatsoever willingly chearfully and joyfully for Christs sake and the Gospels rather than deny thy faith thy hope thy love rather than commit any sin rather than do the least evil with consent approbation liking or choice Is Christ better to thee than all things Canst thou truly cordially and sincerely say that thou hast nothing so dear and near to thee as Christs Honour Crown and Glory is And whatever be thy Portion here below of these high low things thou canst willingly with all thy heart and will go from them all or be content that all things be taken from thee Houses Lands Goods Kindred Friends Father Mother Wife Children and what else desiring much rather by much to hold fast thine integrity with the loss of all these then hold fast these and lose thy love thy light thy life which is thy Jusus 96. Wouldst thou mnch rather choose affliction any affliction yea all afflictions Temporal and Spiritual on body and soul as the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin then sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of hell to him that makes God his best heaven the heaven of heaven in heaven 97. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his waies to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou wouldst and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy
thing that is that they serve not as an instrument at any time to do any evil Fourthly with thy feet that they carry thee not to do the thing at any time that is not altogether right in Gods sight and esteem Fifthly with thy tongue that thou speak not vainly lightly idly foolishly hurtfully slanderously or sinfully But that which shall honour thy God edifie thee here and comfort thine own soul and give thee joy in the day of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sixthly with thy mirde that thou mind only the things of God and what are according to his mind Seventhly with thy heart that thou love not seek not choose not prize not any other thing than what is according to Gods heart Eighthly with all thy affections to love what God loveth and to hate what God hateth and as he loveth and hareth them in sincerity and truth continually Ninthly and lastly but not the least with thy thoughts to suffer no evil vain Idle foolish gadding worldly affection to settle it self there a moment keep out all things thence but thy God and the serious thoughts of his goodness and of thine own badness of his mercy and of thine own misery of his Heaven and of thine own Hell of his glory and of thine own shame of his beauty and of thine own deformity and ugliness of his light and of thine own darkness of his fulness and of thine own emptiness of his fruitfulness and of thine own barrenness of his power and of thine own weakness of his Wisdome and of thine own foolishness of his Patience and of thine own frowardness and pevishness in a word of his riches which is above all over all and more then all things much by much either in Heaven above or earth beneath and of thine own despicable poverty and nothingness at all only a sinful nothing or nothing but sin 7. IS thus thou endeavourest to keep out all things but God and his wayes out of all thy thoughts alwayes thou shalt I promise thee live such a peaceable quiet comfortable sanctified holy blessed life as is unutterable unexpressable for as thy thoughts are so will be thy comforts or discomforts thy joyes and rejoycings or thy reproaches and bewaylings Do thou thus draw near to God and thou shalt find him and feel him and perceive him and see him to draw near unto thee by his graces here which will bring thee to possess himself his Heaven and his Glory for ever hereafter 8. God doth not give us such a measure of grace here to free us altogether from our Corruptions infirmities and failings for these two ends as I conceive first that we be not lifted up above measure as we should be and think our selves to be something and that we are cloathed and rich and full God knoweth that it is better for us to see our Poverty nakedness and emptiness that we may be Inheritors with the Saints in life of all the promises both of things present and to come And not to be shut out of them with the evil Angels and have our Portion in the Lake of fire and Brimstone world without end Again secondly If thus we did live at our hearts ease alwayes without temptations failings or falls we should surely with Peter foolishly make Tabernacles here and not care for any other Heaven for indeed it would be a Heaven But not Ah not such a Heaven as our God hath prepared and provided for us above where we shall see him as he is to be seen and know him as he is to be known If we had here all that we would have or could desire and crave we should not with holy Heavenly enlightned Saint Paul desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ which as he sayed well truly and divinely was much better by much yea best of all And if we were not at times tempted how should we manifest the gifts and graces of Gods spirit in us as now through grace we do by our fightings strivings struglings wrestlings contendings in the heat of Zeal and fire of fervent love in truth to keep our selves as valiant Combatants in the holy Lifts of his Divine and blessed Lawes and wayes not flinching at all or drawing back in the least or moving a foot But standing it out to the very last breath against all our spiritual Enemies and Adversaries within and without of Devils Lusts worlds Lusts and fleshly Lusts and Corruptions And here by constant and faithful engagements in this holy war in this spiritual combate in this Angelical fight for the honour and glory of the Eternal God the King of Kings and Lord of Lords we are confirmed assured strengthned and setled by the whispers and sweet voyce of his holy spirit within us to our souls and Consciences that we shall in due time be made through his strength and continual assistance more then Conquerors and shall at last sit down and rest in peace Triumphantly with the Patriarks Prophets Apostles Martyrs and Saints wearing for ever the Crown of Victory and Glory in Glory and be arrayed with the long white robes of Christs Righteousness worthiness merits and obedience and ever live with him and his bliss enjoying for ever and ever his presence his Heaven yea himself who is the bliss of all bliss the top and Crown of all joy the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven and the glory beauty splendour and sublimity of Glory in Glory 9. See then and consider how much better doth God deal with us and carve to us then we can or would for our selves how much Ah how much better is he to us and for us then we would be to and for our selves how much more over and above hath he prepared for us and will surely give us then we are able to ask then we are able to think wherefore let us learn to let him alone and pray him to deal vvith us and do for us as seemeth him good and alvvayes say in all things so Lord so vvould I have it seeing thou vvilt have it so 10. I also conceive that God suffers us to fall at times for this end or the like that by our fall we may learn and be made to stand the faster to rise the higher and to stick the closer unto him who only is able to hold us up and to keep us from falling me thinks if we did not sometimes fall not that I desire to fall or stumble at all neither to sin in the least to have grace abound but me thinks if we did not at times fall vve should not see his Fatherly love so clearly so greatly in taking care of us to preserve us by protecting of us from greater evils and dangers for when he hath lifted us up againe after we have fallen Ah how do we cling to him how do we hold him fast how do we endeavour to have him alwayes in our sight and how do we cry after him when we perceive any evil of affliction or temptation to
how high soever thou shalt raise me 194. Ah Lord God let my knowledge be that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and that I am thine 195. Ah Lord destroy the adversaries and enemies of my Salvation here which is thy shining manifesting and appearing in me unto me my knowledge of thee to be mine and I to be thine my dying to self to flesh and World to all that is not of thee and my living only to thee O God the God of my Salvation to thee to thee 196. My hereafter Salvation I know that none nor nothing can hinder me from I shall I know enjoy thee O God possesse thee behold thee know thee and see thee as thou art to be seen and known I say and am sure that nothing is able or shall hinder me from this blessednesse which thou hast prepared for me 197. Ah were it not for the enemies of our Salvation which are our own fleshly lusts and vile affections which fight and warr continually against thee O God our Salvation in us we should see know find and feel the same Salvation ever here as hereafter we should contemplate thy beautiful beauty and thy most glorious glory here even as in glory hereafter 198. Ah Lord God fight then on my behalf consume and destroy wirh an utter destruction all these my enemies which hinder here this my so great Salvation consume and make wast all their powers and deliver my poor Soul because I trust in thee and in thy great name which are thy faithful promises 199. As a Fountain gives freely without intermission or constraint but the natural power or fulnesse that forceth even so should we that live in God and possesse him and his fulnesse be alwaies giving and communicating of what we have And as a fountain that is stopped a while being hindred of continuing its largesse doth as it were during that space make or lay up provision to be more larger in its bounty even so me thinks should we be and do if for some time occasion or opportunity present not but we are as it were stopped from giving being unstopt that is occasion presenting it self to our charity we should shew forth by our grosse streams of largenesse in giving that the restraint of not having occasion was a constraint and against the supernatural now natural faculties of our Souls affections 200. If thus we were alwaies communicating and when we find not occasion so to do had in us alwaies a vehement earnest burning desire to give Ah how like should we be unto our good God and Heavenly Father who gives continually and is never weary nor repenteth Glory to God In Bourdeaux Ann. 1661. 1. The love of God is the best of Heaven the very glory in glory 2. The love of God makes all things lovely to all those that know that they are his beloved 3. Gods love is sweeter than the hony or the hony comb much more desired and to be desired more by much then all fine gold and the most pretious Pearls 4. Gods love is better then Wine to comfort the heart it is the fatnesse marrow and sweetnesse of Heaven that feeds feasts and solaceth the soul. 5. There is nothing in Heaven above to be compared to Gods love 6. And all things that are here below Ah how much below are they all to the love of God 7. He that hath or is in the love of God hath all God for God is all love 8. Ah Lord God love me then so that I may be filled with love to love thee as I should love thee to fear thee as I should fear thee to honour thee as I should honour thee and to obey thee as I should obey thee in all things in spirit soul and body by all my thoughts words and actions now henceforth and for ever more Amen 9. Ah Lord God how unspeakably great is thy love to all thy Children and Servants turning all things to their good even the very worst of things their sins 10. God sheweth his great love unto us how he loveth us by shedding abroad his love so in our hearts as we are made thereby to love him for naturally we love him not therefore did he not give us love to love him we would nor could never love him 11. Ah powerful love that makes of us haters to become true lovers to love him in very truth whom we hated truly 12. Yea those that have the love of God thus in their hearts love him so as it may be truly sayd of them that they love nothing else for they love him above their goods or good name above their Children above their Wives yea much more and above their very lives They can and easily do when called thereto give up all to him and for him his love doth constrain to love him again the heart is so in love with him finding him so lovely that it cryes out continually for more love that it may love him more for nothing comforts such souls as Gods love they make and account his love as himself and himself to be his love and being thus loved by him and living thus in his love they live in him and he in them which is the very life of their lives and the very bliss and Heaven of their Heaven 13. Such is the love of God unto us his Children that he swallows us up and houseth us in himself that we may be all his and he all ours that we may put him so on as be made like him and partake continually of him which is our Crown and glory yea our Crown in glory which will make us shine more beautiful and glorious then ten thousand Sons 14. Cause me O Lord God to declare what thou wilt have me to declare cause me to believe what thou wilt have me to believe cause me to know what thou wilt have me to know and inable me to do all that thou wilt have me to do that I may be filled with thee to live to thee and in thee to thine Eternal honour praise and glory so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 15. Goe forth O God go forth before me that I may follow thee where ever thou goest that thou wilt be unto me a light by night in the mid'st of my natural darknesse which is darker then the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter then the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Lawes and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fil me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us
thy Soul that God censure thee not for it but convince thee and convert thee even as if thou wert a part of my very self and as if my well being did consist in thy well being for be thou what ever thou art though I hate thy sin and be offended at it yet I truly and in all faithfulness love thy self and thy Soul and would with my heart that it go so well with thee as it doth through the free Grace Love and Mercy of God in Jesus Christ with me And I shall continue to contend with God in the behalf of thy Soul ann the pardon of thy sins as for my own I know what it is to be a great sinner and I also know through the infinite and incomprehensible Love of God what it is to be washed cleansed pardoned justified sanctified and saved from all sin and to be in Christ without spot or wrinckle undefiled And therefore I cannot in humility I speak it but as God love all Souls with true and unfeigned Love heartily praying and desiring that none might perish but that all might come to partake of everlasting life to enjoy for ever those heart and Soul ravishing joyes that God hath prepared and laid up for all those that truly love him I intend not to speak anything touching the method nor to crave the excuse of any for any thing that may not savour with them I know from whom I have received it and he I am sure will patronize and protect it and blesse it in some measure I hope unto all that shall read it but whatever successe it find I shall find I am sure all that I seek for which is peace within during this life and honour glory and immortality in the World to come which good Lord grant for Christ his sake unto all those that love thee and wait for thine appearing And thus dear hearts I leave you to the guidance of the good Spirit of the Lord to direct you in all your thoughts and words that they and all your actions as well as mine may be now and alwaies acceptable in his sight who is our strength and our Redeemer to him who is able to keep you from the hour of temptation and to preserve you blamelesse until the hour of his coming I commit and commend you Remaining In London Anno 1654. IN the Name of the most Holy Glorious and Blessed Trinity God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Ghost one God blessed for ever to whom be given and ascribed as all due is and to none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving by me and by the whole world of his Elect Now and for ever more Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it THomas Arundell the poorest vilest basest and most unworthiest of all the servants of the living God altogether unworthy of that most Worthy Glorious and Right Honourable Title but trusting on his mercy and Free Grace to be made worthy through the merits and worthiness of Jesus Christ and in him to be accounted worthy Doth in all humility of heart most humbly beg and implore his Divine Majesty in Jesus Christ to inspire bless and assist him with his holy Spirit that he may here following set down only the sincere breathings and longings of his soul in truth and sincerity of heart and that he may grow daily from one degree of grace unto another from step to step untill he come to that height and fulness of measure of holiness appointed by God in Jesus Christ who is the fountain the Ocean and the fulness of all happiness and blessedness being God equal with the Father Blessed for ever and ever A Prayer O Most Holy most Glorious Eternal Incomprehensible Lord God full of Grace and Truth Maker and Giver of all things both in heaven and in earth from all eternity unto all eternity thou art and there is none besides thee God blessed for ever and ever Thou givest O Lord freely fully and continually and art never weary nor repentest all our springs are in thee and from thee thou canst not increase nor diminish whatever is done for or against thee Ah Lord my God give me so much of thy self as I may be like unto thee in all things by grace here and in glory hereafter that I may stedfastly faithfully heedfully carefully and circumspectly do thy whole and holy will on earth untill I come to glorifie thy Name in heaven O Lord conform my will unto thy most holy and most blessed will that I may serve and please thee by all my thoughts words and actions not turning a side to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Let thy most holy and most blessed Spirit teach me lead me guide me and so direct and govern me that the thoughts of my heart the words of my mouth and the works of my hands may be now and alwaies acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and my Redeemer O Lord that searchest all hearts and triest the reins pondering all our actions be pleased in Jesus Christ to look down upon me poor vile sinfull dust and ashes the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men and for his sake wash away all my iniquities and purge me from all my sins and my transgressions known or unknown secret or revealed past present and to come and for the merits of that most dear and pretious blood of thy dear and only Son which was I believe shed for me on the Cross. O Lord grant that I may appear blamelesse and spotlesse before thy throne of Grace and Justice at all times when I come before thee that thou maiest have delight in me and in all the works of my hands and maiest according to thy good promise graciously hear and answer my petitions and requests which I most humbly and unfeignedly desire may be framed in my heart by thy holy Spirit that they may be according to thy holy mind and will and finde acceptation through the mediation and merits of thy dear only and beloved Son Jesus Christ the Righteous And grant O most mercifull and loving Father in Jesus Christ my Redeemer that I may set down from time to time the only Dictates of thy holy and most blessed Spirit unto my poor soul not any head notions but my very hearts frame and only desires and motions that they may both then and ever after refresh rejoyce glad and comfort me and cause me to bring forth fruit to newness and amendment of life for the honour and glory of thy great Name and grant that I may ever renounce all merit or worthiness in my self for the very least of all thy mercies no not for the crumbs that fall by thy providence from the childrens table Sure I am the more light I have from thee O Lord my God I shall the better and clearer see my own darknesse the more I have of thy wisdom the better I
of grace my sole comforter and only comfort 74. Grant that I may will nothing but thy will O thou my Father in Iesus Christ which art in Heaven 75. I had rather have thy smiles in Hell O my sweet and dear Iesus if it could be then thy frowns in Heaven 76. I had much rather if it could be be in Hell and obey God then in Heaven and sin against him 77. O God give me I most humbly beseech thee for Jesus Christ his sake those things and those things only both for soul and body on earth as may prepare me and make me fittest for Heaven 78. I had much rather choose death then choose to sin 79. Though I cannot live without sin here yet whilst I live here suffer me not O God at any time to consent unto sin 80. I do beleive that Christ Jesus is my Jesus and my Christ and that he makes intercession for me every moment and ever will even to my very last moment 81. I had much rather enjoy affliction with enjoying thee O my Saviour then all manner of prosperity if thou do'st not prosper it 82. As long O God as thou givest me bread water and grace I will acknowledge that I have sufficient meat drink and rayment yea that I fare delitiously and am arrayed more gloriously then if I were with purple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wages I desire and which will and shall ever content me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thou hast given me a heart to be willing to part from all things most willingly so I might part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt O God do but only leave me thy self in possession 86. All good thoughts come in love O God from thee to me but woe me miserable me for that all evil thoughts come from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and all my thoughts such that I may be only such and alwayes such as thou would'st have me to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and raigne by thy power and might in me that the mighty power and raigne of sin may be cast out of me 89. Let not the things of the world put thee O Lord out of my mind not sin out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and power to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts and affections out of my heart that there be a place for thee and thee only to dwell in my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the worlds gifts without thee my Saviour as the Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beleive and esteem my best duties and performances as from my self to deserve nothing but shame confusion being but as filthy rags and a menstrous cloath and that I am less and less worth at the best then the least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can wash me nothing but thy death could satisfie for me nothing but thy resurrection can raise me and nothing but thy living can make me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony and the hony comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which are but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of the world and hate it then all the world and love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more affraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health then of sickness and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will feare neither for I know that that which he giveth is the best and I shall profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to be alwayes able to meditate on the love and sweetness that is in my Saviour I would not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one houre to gaine all that the world hath to give 99. Surely if I could alwaies think on my Saviour I would willingly alwayes think on him I would not only have him in all my thoughts but I would have him be all my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with the Spirit of grace were to be prefer'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets of sin though their end were not bitter but sweet 101. I would willingly loose all that I have of the world if so be I could loose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I should yet I remember well I never did nor I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my own words when I speak by prayer or any other way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my thoughts and my words when I take upon me to speak unto God or of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive and accept of both through thy merits and mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so to live as I may be alwayes ready willing and rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine owne thy time and thy will be done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing for sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitterer unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any affliction unless that which I cannot beare sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lord till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin dead to me and then Lord take me to thy self when thou wilt that I may live for ever to thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me poverty and Contempt with the grace of content I shall be as rich and as honourable as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord from the world and then take the world from me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace to love thee that it may extinguish all other loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant and let me know it and I will
never desire nor ask any other honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ in me and doubt it then not in me and believe it rather such true sorrow then such false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven I would not desire to be there my desire should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as I may alwayes fear thee and so fear thee as I may ever unfainedly love thee let these two graces be never sever'd from me nor I from them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but let every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ. 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy mercyes O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet untill I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more untill thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of sin and the life of Eternall Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou would'st have me to be which is I trust to be one with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to be what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give all things for thou art all things therefore of thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment longer after I have done the work of my Generation that is not live for my self but for thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to do thy will to will thy will and to submit to thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thine only thine all thine alwayes thine and ever thine here in thy Kingdome of grace and hereafter in thy Kingdome of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punishment of sin and not sin then the evil of sin and no punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want the worlds sweets and in its want to find no want but even in want most to abound 135. O Lord thou knowest I desire not so much the world as to have my thoughts and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life be purchased for to choose and commit one sin willingly I would not purchase nor have it on that condition but rather depend on the love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ. 137. I am sure God is my God because he hath given me a heart to fear him in love and to love him with fear and trembling to rejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his will universally and to depend and trust on his sure mercies and faithfull promise in Jesus Christ. 138. I am sure God did ever love me because I am sure he doth now love me and therefore I am sure he will ever love me for where he once loveth he ever loveth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me a heart to hate all sin universally with a sincere and perfect hatred both in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because he hath given me true conviction and sincere sound and unfaigned repentance from for all sin esteeming all exceeding sinfull both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because I delight in his wayes and for that all my longings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because I find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me because I would not commit any sin nor could I sin willingly to get his love if I doubted of it 144. I know and am sure that God loveth me because that I do most heartily and sincerely desire to love him a thousand thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me because I love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me because I desire nothing so much as to be his faithfull humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because I love every man especially such as I beleive love him and because their conditions what ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because I love every mans soul prosperity and happiness as my own and their bodies more then my own 149. I know God loveth me because those that have been and are still my Enemies in the flesh I love both in the flesh and Spirit 150. I know God loveth me because I do sincerely pray for the souls and bodyes of those whom I have cause to beleive that they hate me 151. I know God loves me because I hate nothing but what he hates which is sin 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovest me when thou wert here for I cannot else love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and be delighted ravished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my self as a token of my love Ah give me thine and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee I confess I had from thee it being now in me O let
God and how much more pains have I taken for earthly things then for Heavenly how much more delightsome have these things below and the remembrance of them been unto me then the things above how much sweeter hath sin been to me then grace and how have I bent my will against thy great and holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the wayes of Eternal destruction and how good Lord have I vehemently delighted and laboured to make others to commit the same sins and to do the same things how easily and how willingly did I believe the suggestions of the Devil and with what willingness have I left thy work and how often good Lord to do his nay which is yet worse how often have I tempted him the tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew that the wages of sin was death even Temporal Spiritual and Eternall for body and soul doing my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins to those I do not to those I cannot remember and that both for greatness and multitude yea what are all the sins I have committed to those I would have committed had'st not thou in love and in mercy O most gratious loving and most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ restrained me and come in continually unto my help succour even when I was altogether helpless and succourless thou did'st O Lord own me when I would not own thee thou did'st run after me when I did my utmost to run from thee thou did'st O Lord continue knocking when I would not open to thee and wert'st contented such was thy endearing loving love unto me to stand at the dore of my heart without untill thy locks were wet with the dew of Heaven and when I was most pitiless then did'st thou most pity me and took'st me from my self and out of the power of all my adversaries and didâ—st enter with ferceable possession into my heart there to lodge sup and dwell for ever which though thou foundest to be more unclean then a dunghill and is not this enough to cause all the Creatures in Heaven and Earth to stand amazed and with wonder and astonishment to admire the condescention of so great a God as thou art Ah Lord God what could I more desire nay what could'st thou do more for me then thou hast done to bring me out of the death of sin to the life of grace out of the suburbs of Hell into the suburbs of Heaven me thinks Ah me thinks I may truly say out of Hell it self into Heaven it self such a vast difference there is such a blessed and glorious change there is already blessed and ever magnified and praised be thy ever blessed great and most glorious name of Jehovah my strength and my Portion Thou hast not only O Lord delivered me out of the pawes of that rearing Lyon the Devil who had almost devoured me but hast given me of thine own power and strength to overcome him to trample him under my feet and to despite him to his very face thou hast discovered unto me his falseness and malice and the wickedness and the deceitfulness of my own deceitfull wicked heart that did thus betray me Ah Lord what can I such a poor wretch as I am render unto thee for all thy benefits I am a worm and no man the greatest and the chiefest of sinners the very worst of the worst of men O Lord accept of what I have to give thee of these two poor mites my soul and body true O Lord I confess and acknowledge that they are not worthâ— to be put into thy rich Treasury but if thou wilt be pleased to stamp on them the glorious Image of thy Son Jesus Christ I am sure they will pass for currant coyne in thy Heavenly Court and thou thine own self wilt esteem them of thy peculiar Treasure O Lord set me as a seal upon thy heart and let thy love be setled upon mine that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee and let all my members and faculties be but as instruments to act thy holy and blessed motions Ah Lord God good as great and great as good when wilt thou by thine Almighty power utterly destroy and root out all sin out of me when shall the time O Lord come that it shall be Crucified unto me and I unto it when shall the time come that I shall see it no more when shall the time come that thou wilt O Lord give me a finall Victory over it and totally destroy it when Lord shall come that blessed day wherein I shall not sin when I shall put off sin as an old garment and never more put it on when all tears fears sighs and groans for sins shall be expell'd and extinquished when thou O Lord my sweet and blessed Iesus shalt only be my all and my all But grant good Lord though sin be in my heart that my heart be not in sin and though sin rule over me as a Tyrant let it Ah let it never raigne in me a moment as a Soveraigne and though I cannot live without sin yet good Lord for thy goodness sake let me live without consenting unto delighting in or approving of any sin whatsoever either in thought word or deed but let there be alwayes and continually in me a heedfull watchfull carefull Circumspect care though temptations fall on me let me not fall into temptation but deliver me from all evil O thou my Father which art in Heaven and cause me to work out my Salvation with fear and trembling and to labour more and more to make my calling and election sure before I goe hence and be no more seen And knowing Lord that thou hast in the abundance of thy love and mercy provided for me a Kingdome which cannot be shaken let me have grace in my heart to come before thee and to worship thee the true God with reverence and godly fear that I may alwayes run and not grow weary and walk and not faint write O Lord all thy Lawes of grace in my heart and thy Statutes of Love in my mind by the finger of thy holy and blessed Spirit that I may never goe astray to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits weane me O Lord from the world ere thou take me out of the world and whilst I do live in the world let me be dead to it and to all the things of it which are the honours riches and pleasures thereof the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life and give me those things and those things only which may make me thine and only thine that I may be alwayes thine and ever thine Teach me O Lord to use the world as if I used it not that I may not abuse it my self nor thee who hast given it me to use but not to abuse
him to love him is to fear him and to fear him is to serve him and to serve him is to obey him and to obey him is to do his will and to do his will is to give up our wills to his will and to give up our wills to his will is to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills and to rejoyce in all things that he doth and wills is to have a heart according to his own heart 59. It is not what I do or can do but what I would do that best pleaseth thee my God who giveth both to will and to do 60. O Lord let not what or any thing of that I do please me untill I am sure that it please thee 61. O Lord suffer me not to seek my own delight but let my delight be to delight thee who art the delight of my soul and in whom only my soul delighteth 62. If thy back parts O Lord do so much rejoyce my heart here on earth how shall thy face cause me to rejoyce in Heaven where I shall see thee face to face and know thee as thou art to be known 63. And seeing it is my only grief on earth that I have offended thee my God by sin it shall be my only joy in Heaven to praise thee for that thou art not offended with me for my sins 64. Give me O my God for Christ his sake thy Kingdome and thy Glory that I may give thee honour and glory for ever in thy Kingdome of glory 65. And till that day shall be give me grace O my sweet and saving Jesus so to watch and to waite that when thy Kingdome shall come I may rejoyce and say thy will O Lord be done and so enter into the joy of my Lord even into the Lord of my joy 66. To do thy will O God is all the thoughts and desires of my heart and will and in doing thy will is all the joyes delights and ravishments of my willing heart thus made willing through thine own good will 67. I know well that it s thou in me my dear and sweet Jesus that causeth my desires to desire thee and the heart of my soul to hunger and thirst for thee and also that giveth me boldness to speak unto thee 68. O Lord I desire nothing but what thou wilt and all that thou wilt I willingly would and willingly would nothing but what thou wilt 69. I had rather do thy will O my God on earth for thy self and thy sake then be in Heaven for my own self and my own sake thy service is dearer to me then my soul. 70. I had much rather do the least work for God then have the greatest good and benefit for my self 71. Whatsoever O Lord thou wilt have me to be doe and suffer that I willingly would be and long to do and suffer and to have and no other 72. Wilt thou O Lord have me poor afflicted persecuted banisht evil spoken off tormented tempted all these Lord and what else thou wilt so thou come with them I shall rejoyce in them and most willingly receive them 73. It is not Lord what I desire only but what thou hast ordained that I only desire 74. I know and am assured that thou wilt O Lord sooner cast the earth into the Sea and remove the Heavens then take any of thy love from those whom thou lovest 75. For seeing sin cannot nor shall not separate us Lord what shall what can 76. It is fixt on thy own love O Father in Jesus Christ thy Son most lovely and therefore unchangeable unmoveable 77. It is from thy great Love O my God that I find thee lovely but thy love is greater for that I love thee and yet more greater that I love thee only but more greater then all it is that thou hast ever loved and wilt ever love me 78. Ah love that passeth all degree the offended dyes to set the offenders free 79. It is thy mercy O God that I am not past mercy that I contemne not mercy that I know mercy that I value mercy that I prize mercy that I seek mercy that I hope for mercy am assured of mercy and that I desire the same mercyes for all others that are not past mercy 80. To will thy will O God is to do thy will when we would as willingly do it be it what it will as we will it 81. To serve thee best and most or to do thee O God most and best service is in most submitting to thy will be it what it will 82. It is not the work of the hand or of the head but of the heart that is according ot thy heart and most delighteth thy heart O my God the maker and the giver of all good hearts 83. To wait is better then to work if thou shewest us not what work is thy work and what work we shall do 84. Let me not O God ever ask any other condition then my present condition and alwaies submit to thy will in my condition as often as thou shalt change my condition and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best 85. And let chearfulness witness my contentedness and my contentedness be shown by my chearfulness 86. Ah Lord my Lord if thou did'st not at times afflict me how often should I Ah how often should I afflict thee 87. But I mightily desire to magnifie praise thee O my God for that I find when affliction comes on me thou comest with it and dost alwayes abundantly comfort me yea my greatest comforts have been when thou seemest as if thou would'st afflict me that is even in affliction 88. If affliction should goe from me I fear I should goe from all good which is from God 89. Afflict me O Lord so much as thou wilt and so often as thou pleasest so that in it I afflict not thee 90. In affliction I fear but out of affliction Ah Lord I consess I am careless Ah too too careless 91. Affliction makes me O Lord to run to thee to cry loud after thee and to importune thee for thy presence but out of affliction I goe softly I speak softly and know not how to beg with importunity 92. If the outward man receive such joy and delight in the Creature and by conversing with them Ah what joy delight and ravishment doth the inward man receive having Communion with God and enjoying his deare Creator 93. If earth and the things below be able to satisfie any surely surely Heaven and the things above shall be able and will satisfie all for every one there shall enjoy God who is all and in all 94. Seeing Heaven on earth is so sweet Ah how sweet is Heaven in Heaven or the Heaven of Heaven which is our God 95. And seeing Heavens joyes are so great on earth Ah how greatly great are they in Heaven 96. Ah sweet most ravishing sweet Jesus let me enjoy them so here that I
love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gratious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdome it self not only good but goodness it self not only merciful but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repyning nor upbrayding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be alwayes seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtaine thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and as able as willing as great as good and as good as great nothing can hinder thee nothing can deprive thee of being what thou art for before any thing was thou wert all things have their all from thee thou art the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end it is the greatest and the cheifest joy of all the Angells and Saints in Heaven and on earth that thou art what thou art and that they belong unto thee and that thou art pleased to own them for thine own thy glory is their glory thine end their aime thy will their wills their chief desire to be is to please thee O God to please thee and to adore thee without thee we know we can do nothing nor should be nothing thou O Lord God art our all and our all for all our springs are in thee and from thee And now O Lord God I come at this time before thee to speak a word unto thee but I find my self as unable as unfit and as unfit as unable being empty of all good and full fit and ready for any or all evils such O Lord thou knowest is my wretched and miserable nature averse unto all that is good and prone unto all that is evil but thou O my God in Jesus Christ that art all good and able to do all good fill O Lord fill I humbly beseech thee my empty heart with thy self even with thy fulness that I may speak unto thee thine own words and not mine own for mine own words would be but words but meer words but thy words even thine O God are works and work I know effectually thou do'st not here us for our words sake because they are but the words of men nor for our works sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake O Lord which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake thou hearest us Ah Lord God let me then so heare thy voyce as my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee O Lord is to live yea to live in thee to thee and for thee which to do Ah Lord thou knowest is the desire I have to live Ah great God be thou then gratiously pleased in the abundance of thy great goodness to speak a word in season unto this dull dead senceless heart of mine that I may be so ravisht therewith as I may forthwith come out of my self flye from my self hate loath and abhor my self in dust and ashes cause me O Lord to consider my self as indeed I am which is a little creeping clay speaking earth a worme and no man vile sinful wretched and abominable from the Crown of the head to the sole of the foot there is no whole part in me I am more Leprous then Gehazy much more unclean then was Mary Magdalen more blind in soul then Bartemeus was in body more lame to run after thee O Lord in thy wayes then was Mephibosheth in his feet my soul runs with a greater flux of sin then was the Hemorish Issue and more then thirty eight years O Lord thou knowest all these diseases have been upon me Ah Lord my Lord and my God be thou therefore pleased in love and mercy to look upon me with one of thine eyes and heale me and thou shalt do as great a work as in curing them all I know and am assured that thou hast so great a skill that if thou wilt thou canst with a word forgive the one and heale the other Ah wonder of wonders yea too too wonderful to beleive but by those whom thou dwellest in that thou wilt dwell and delight to dwell in such a heart but all such know O Lord through the power of thy goodness and the working of thy holy spirit in their hearts that nothing is hard for thee O God to do but all things are as easie as possible thou bringest light out of darkness and turnest evil into good with the word of thy mouth for he is only worthy whom thou in favour accountest worthy Seeing then O Lord God that it is thy good will and pleasure to do so much for me as thou canst do which is to give me thine own self be thou Ah be thou pleased in the riches of thy mercy and free grace to accept of my self not as a recompence O Lord for this thy great gift but as an acknowledgment that I have received so great a gift from thee and that therefore I am no longer nor no more mine own nor any others either in Heaven or on earth but
Million of Millions in the body and spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him indeed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our sences Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esterm that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joyes do then somtimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when he is filled with Heavenly joyes yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joyes of Heaven 7. And if momentary earthly joyes can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joyes shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is moâ—e then faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he preferrs it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall alwayes and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our Joys be so great to see God here and his glory darkly as in a glasse with fleshly eies Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously and all his glory in Heaven face to face with spiritual eyes yea with the eyes of his own Holy Spirit 15. And if our Joys be so great to hear of him here with the hearing of the ears Ah how great shall they be to be with him hereafter and to hear himself with an understanding heart 16. And if then our Joys be so great to enjoy him here on earth and but in part imperfectly Ah how great shall our joys and delights he to enjoy him in Heaven not in part but in perfection perfectly fully wholly and holy as he is 17. And if our Joys be so great here on earth in the midst of fears Ah how great shall they be in Heaven where we need fear no fears for that there are no fears there to fear 18. And if our Joys be here on earth so great though surrounded with many sorrows Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all sorrows shall be all done away and turned into fulnesse of joy 19. And if our Joyes be so great among so many displeasing displeasures even here on earth Ah how great shall they be in Heaven when and where all displeasures shall be all done away and our pleasures shall be for ever more 20. Ah fill me then O my good God with thy blessed most blessed self and thy Joys alone that in thee only I may rejoyce 21. If the nether Springs on earth be so sweet Ah how delitious and sweet yea sweetly delitious O God are the upper Springs of Heaven in Heaven 22. If thy left-hand mercies O God be so delightful and do so much delight and please us Ah how much more shall those of thy right-hand delight us with pleasure 23. If his foot-stool favours be so great and we esteem our selves greatly favoured by them to have them Ah how great in favour yea what great favourites shall we be when we shall enjoy in Heaven the favours of his Throne and fit on Thrones by him 24. If to see a glimpse of his glory beauty and brightnesse here on earth do so ravish us with delight joy and admiration so as we could and would alwaies be content to behold it Ah how then shall our hearts be ravisht with that ravishing fulnesse of his bright beautiful glory when we shall in Heaven behold all his glory as he is in his Kingdom of glory with all his glorious Saints and Angels from whose beautiful brightnesse and glory they have all their glorious brightnesse and beauty and are made thus gloriously beautiful with surpassing beauty and glory being in all things made like unto him 25. If then his glory be so sweet in the bud what is it in the branch but Ah then how much greater and sweeter is the Tree that hath so many branches 26. If then so great and sweet on earth Ah how greatly great and sweet in Heaven 27. And if our delights be so great in seeking thee O God here below on earth Ah how incomprehensibly great shall they and will they be when we shall have found thee where thou art above in Heaven 28. And seeing O God thou givest us such wages here whilst we offend thee Ah how great shall they be yea what is there but thou wilt give us when we shall offend thee no more but alwaies please thee 29. And seeing our Heaven is so sweet on earth or our earthly heaven so sweet which is but to see thy back part by Faith darkly as in a glasse Ah how sweet yea how much sweeter shall our heavenly Heaven be or our Heaven in Heaven which is to know thee as thou art O God to be known and see the clearly and plainly even face to face 30. And seeing thy love O God is so great to us here as it constraineth us to love thee Ah how great shall it be to us there when without constraint our greatest joy and pleasure shall be to adore and love thee 31. Ah Lord God that knowest my heart thou knowest that all the desires of my heart yet that the soul of my soul and the heart of my heart desires to love the only and to serve the with all my whole heart 32. If thy name O Lord be so great and fearful unto those that know thee and that know that thou lovest them Ah how fearfully great and greatly fearful shall it be unto those that know thee not but yet know thy greatnesse and how greatly thou hatest them 33. All Glory only Glory and continually Glory be given unto God the God and giver of all gifts grace and
Glory A Prayer THe Scope Sum Contents and my intent in this following Prayer is to beseech the Lord to be alwaies gratiously present with me to watch over me and to give me in Jesus Christ and for his sake merits and worthinesse his own holy and blessed Spirit to lead direct guide and govern me in all things that I shall take in hand to do to change my old heart and give me a New that I may glorifie him by a holy life and Conversation all the rest of my dayes and especially in this place where I have so much so often and so grievously sinned against his great and holy name and walkt contrary unto him serving the Devil and obeying his lusts worlds lusts and self lusts casting his holy and divine Commandments behind my back and trampling his Precepts under my feet and that he would be pleased with me to bring home all his Elect suddenly into his Kingdom of grace here and of glory hereafter that his whole and holy will may be done by us here on earth as it is done in Heaven until he shall be pleased through the infinitenesse and incomprehensiblenesse of the riches of his free grace love and mercy in Jesus Christ to bring us into the Holy of Holies the Heaven of Heaven even into his blessed self there for ever and for ever to sing that ever blessed ditty sweet Angelical and Eternal Song of Hallelujah of Praise thanksgiving and Glory unto his ever blessed most great gratious and glorious name So be it Lord So be it O Lord God of Heaven and Earth most high most great and most glorious the Creator Preserver and Governor of all things who hast created all things by the word of thy power by thee only they all are and were created thou willest all that thou dost and dost all that thou wilt thou O God that art the only God for there is none else there is none besides thee the God of Abraham of Isaac and of Jacob that wast with the children of Israel in Egypt and on the Red Sea with Moses in the Wildernesse with Joseph in Prison with Daniel in the Lyons den with the three Children in the firy furnace and with Abraham in a strange Land be with me also O God in Jesus Christ be with me also thy poor unworthy creature and servant in this strange Land sinful place and Nation whether thou hast by thine accustomed good and gratious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me upto a spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the forest and the greatest of thy Judgements upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodnesse and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to passe by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Crosse who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgement against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodnesse sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lust I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy waies of holinesse and righteousnesses all the daies of my life that here here O Lord where I have dispised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforthwalk wellpleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilish life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy daies O Lord and on our daies in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth in all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I beseech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is
desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee loose all to enjoy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whether thou wilt goe even as a Chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his armes esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine armes and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is so those that are there a thousand years seems but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seemes as a thousand years so great is there comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whil'st here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtaine that measure and degree of holiness that my earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I com to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infinitness and Eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy mercyes sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen eare hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost threepersons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawful calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obediently circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me alwaies value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no token either of thy hatred or of thy love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be alwaies as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal losse Ah Lord let the eies of my understanding be enlightened and alwaies open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingnesse whilst I shall possesse them and that worldly blisse consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem alwaies that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will alwaies please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will alwaies please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward man the New not the old man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfainedly beg and beseech thee in Jesus
that I may live to thee own me for thine own that I may own thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine alwayes thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfainedly beg of thee and what ever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for euermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the love O Lord of thy Children and Servants unto thee when they know that they are beloved by thee whom they most love and must love most for thy Love thy Love being most worth worth most and therefore do they despise all Love and things lovely in the Creature to purchase thy Love O God who art the Creator of all Love and things lovely they love thy Love most O God because they know and feel that thy Love only causeth them to love thee more whom notwithstanding they do already love most and for that nothing but thy Love can satisfie them with sufficient love to love thee sufficiently for to love thee is to live and they could not live if it were not for thy Love and therefore are they ready and willing alwaies to die for thy Love and to witnesse and shew forth their love with which they love thee 38. If then the love of the Creature be so great for the Creator that it is more above and beyond my love in the Creature for the Creature yea it is so great as it cannot be uttered it being and proceeding from the Creators own Love that the Creature hath this love and that he loveth thus his Creator 39. But Ah then how incomprehensible and great is the love of the Creator for and unto us his Creatures in that he giveth us so much of his love as to love him and such condescention is in him as he delighteth to be beloved by them who out of his love do so much hate him and love only what he hateth alas alas what can we poor we say of him whom we know not but by himself and from himself and love not but from his love Let us then Ah let us then admire and in humility ever adore this his love with which he hath so loved us as to make us like himself in love which is to be all love loving others as our selves for even as his love only causeth him to love us so likewise doth this his love in us cause us thus to love him and thus to love one another with the same loving love and all that we may be all one and the same in love in him to him and for him who is the love of our love the cause of our loves love the subject of our love the object of our love which we only desire to love and the joy of this our joyous love and the aime of our end and the end of our aime is to live and love unto the end in this loving love that is that our love may never know end as his never knew no beginning nor never shall know end and this is and such is the great love of our God yea the incomprehensible love with which he loveth us being such and so great as we cannot comprehend it's greatnesse it cannot enter into us therefore we shall enter into it neither can we sufficiently expresse ours for him which flows only from his from himself who is only and alone in himself perfect love and he alone can only create and give perfect love to love perfectly none but himself from himself of himself can then thus love perfectly or give perfect love to love perfectly thus 40. It is then thy love in me O Lord my God that causeth me to love thee 41. Inflame then my cold benum'd icy frozen heart with the fiery hot burning flames of this thy burning hot love O my God that my heart may continually as Moses bush and the Seraphims still flamingly burn but never consume for it is by this and from this divine fire that cometh from thy holy Altar O Lord that my soul liveth and out of it it cannot 42. Let me then O Lord ever burn That I may ever live for why Ah if I should not still burn thus I am sure I should eft soon dye 43. Ah Lord my God and my Father in Jesus Christ I desire to praise thee ever for that thou hast not only forgiven me all but given me all thou hast not only given me a pardon for all my Iniquities and transgressions and forgiven all my sins but hast also forgotten that ever I sinned 44. Thou hast not only given me such a pardon as never to remember my sins any more but with the pardon thou hast O Lord given me thy love and thy self so as I shall ever live in thy self to love thy self ever and to offend thee never 45. Thy love O my God and heavenly Father is far greater unto me than David's was for his
is love but as it is profitable a love bringing profit it frees from paine and gives ease it keeps from poverty and maketh rich because it delivers from dishonour disgrace and graceth them and brings them much honour because it lifts them up above others and for that others are set below them they are the head and others are but the feet and because they have power over them and they obey their power going where ever they bid them coming when ever they call them and do what ever and all that they command them if God continue to give them thus his gifts and all that their hearts desire they will prize his love and desire his love and choose his love and delight in his love and love his love yea and serve him for his love but it is with an eye-service having an eye to this recompence of reward in the flesh and for the sake of the flesh they love not God as he is God and because he is God all good and only good but because he is a God that doth them this good which he so much loveth liketh Priseth chooseth and prayeth for were he not thus good unto him he would not think him good nor believe him to be good thus are they fleshly Carnal loving the things of the flesh the things they see and enjoy and not the things which they see not nor cannot see which they enjoy not nor cannot be here enjoyed but should hope for 't is not a Heaven in Heaven nor a Heaven coming down from Heaven but a Heaven on earth an earthly Heaven yea a Heaven of earth that they desire choose and pray for and would that it were ever yea ever and for ever their Heaven thus 't is not God that they love because he is God but 't is themselves themselves they love as God chiefly most of all beyond all things and above all things and therefore they love not God at all because they love him not as God who is the supream chief Soveraign superiour and only good happiness felicity peace rest riches honour pleasure joy and blessedness 53. This is false love though it be for our selves when we love our selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joyes to enjoy them because they are the greatest joyes 't is not Heaven for God but God â—or Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to raigne with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to weare his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on earth to have the Recompence of reward there as a good and faithful Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on earth and in Heaven but not his on earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not die with him here they flye many times from sin because of the paine woe grief and torment it will bring they flye from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his wayes nor to the keeping of his Commandements but their delight is to delight themselves the end of all their aime and the aime of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for Gods sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they goe about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benum'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they goe about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how Ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in dutyes in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus Gods work and soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the soul and Heaven it is because of its happyness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for Gods sake and even then when the Lord sends a faire wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to saile over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the sayls they can to goe against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyle to goe back from their Port from their Haven and Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and paines in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyle and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his wayes that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things unutterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconceiveable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and chearfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and
which the wind driveth too and fro as he was made of nothing so in a moment he turns to nothing their breath goeth forth they rerurn to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish he is as the grass of the earth and as the flower of the field which to day is and to morrow is not he is so perishable as he can be compared to nothing but to nothing 194. This Spirit sheweth us that those things which we see not and cannot see be unto us as if they were and these things which we see are as if they were not because we value them not but as Pilgrims and strangers we seek a Country an Habitation not made with hands Eternal in the Heavens 195. This Spirit openeth unto our sence reason and understanding that which no man can shut and shutteth that which no man can open this spirit declareth unto us what the mind and will of God is for our good and worketh in us a holy conformity in all our minds wills and affections to be carefully studious and studiously careful to walk in all well pleasing before him it maketh us to press forward to comprehend that for which we are also comprehended of Christ Jesus our Lord it worketh in us a fear that increaseth our love and such love as casteth out all fear it maketh us to do all that we do for him and not for our selves loving him much more for himself than for our own selves and more for his glory then for our own glory if such long to be with him it is to do him more and better service for here we can know but in part and do but in part but there we shall know him as he is to be known and do for him all things which were fore-ordained and appoynted by him before that we were and that is to possesse him wholly and holy as he is that is as much as is possible for us Creatures 196. This Spirit warmeth our hearts so with his divine Love and maketh us partakers of his divine nature that daily we grow more and more conformable and like unto him and to comprehend and know more and more what is the length the bredth the heighth of the depth of his love to his children and servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor expresse and it so filleth their hearts with such Joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegrome arrayeth us with even his own Righteousnesse and true holinesse this filleth our Lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voyce come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his sons and daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that pleaseth him pleaseth them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to blesse and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come unto Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is allwaies open for sin and for uncleannesse this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the losse of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousnesse wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully cheerfully and patiently all that is commanded them alwaies saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy servant heareth and with David my heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptable as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my soul desireth to have on Earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Hallelujahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberlesse number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who
would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the waies of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battel and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and Soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the uglinesse and the filthinesse of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a child of God and an heir of Heaven yea coheir with Jesus Christ it makes them a child of wrath an heir of hell and coheir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holinesse 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partaker of his own holy and divine nature to love the brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joyes enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulnesse of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for ever more 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah Holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy children and servants here on Earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may alwaies go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the waies of all truth and holinesse which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holinesse blessednesse and eternal life and happinesse 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all carelesse sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods Holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and tast and see how gratious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truely miserably poor that art Christlesse though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicasies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the gold of Ophir and the pretious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy servants and Kings daughters thy maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgement thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distresse they shall take themselves wings and flye away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou carelesse man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah Remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the pit with thee nor thy money neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are
that the World the things of the World should have again re-entrance there where thou Lord hast been for it cooleth that warmth it freezeth that heat it quencheth that fire it puts out those flames that did so warm heat burn and flame in the heart that it now as the fire under ashes and as the flame in the smoak it is not discernable 117. How ah how is the heart by the World and the things of the World carted as it were away and drawn by great force from thee O God and thy good From feasting at thy Table of dainties to take and taste and feed on those dirtie hoggish bruitish earthly husks or earths husks which cannot solace nor satisfie it for a moment with any true delight of taste or enjoyment 118. How lazie sluggish cold faint feeble and weary is the heart when it is taken of from enjoying thee O God who art its all even all its Joy 119. When it must ah when it must again leave heaven as it were and the delicacies thereof of liberty freedom peace rest joy riches honours and pleasures and come down from thence and dig and delve hew wood and draw water be a slave as it were to its worst and most cruellest Enemie at least not to be altogether free and therefore unquiet restless sad poor contemptible and full of grief 120. How doth ah how doth that heart that truly enjoys thee O God with Jacob say trulie feelinglie knowinglie and certainlie that it hath all even all honours riches and pleasures that are to be had on earth or in heaven 121. How ah how do such spurn away kick at and fly from all other things as if they had poyson in the head and a sting in the tayl even as from monsters that have no mercy 122. Such ah such a heart cannot no no it cannot satisfie it self with these satisfying satisfactions unless he be ah unless he be alwaies as it were drowned in them and swallowed up into them and because he cannot contain them therefore ah therefore he desires to be contained by them 123. How willingly ah how willingly would such a one be poor in the world to have and possess these Ah these true indeed true riches and to live ever in disgrace to be thus graced and to be made lower than the lowest of men To be thus high and lifted up above all these high low things here below how willingly ah how willingly would he still live in contempt and be flouted derided scorned and scoft at among and by men to be thus honoured by God and honourable among the blessed How willingly ah how willingly would he be ever banished from earths home to be thus brought home to enjoy what is at home in heaven and to feed on the unpleasant sower bitters of losses crosses and afflictions to drink only of these sweet pleasant streams and rivers of pleasures that flow continually and abundantly from Gods right hand 124. This Ah this is to be brought out of Egypt and over the red Sea and from his weary and long journeying in the wilderness to inherit a quiet and peaceable possession in that true Heavenly Celestial Canaan flowing alwayes with Milk and Hony for here even here in the flesh on earth he enjoys such and so many joyes as far exceed all that ever he did or could ask that ever he did or could think 125. Ah Lord rich in mercy love bounty and great in goodnesse above Ah much much above all that can be conceived or spoken by men or Angels set before me Ah set before me alwayes on the one hand my unkindnesse my sins my blacknesse foulnesse uncleannesse uglinesse and deformity as I am in my self from my self that I may loath detest and abhor them and my self for them and because of them that I may be driven drawn and whipt away from them to thee to hate them to love thee to detest them to adore thee and on the other hand O God my God I may alwayes openly and plainly see thy love and kindnesse yea loving kindnesse mercy goodnesse gentlenesse patience and forbearance that thereby and therewith I may be enticed allured tyed knit glued fastned swallowed up and involv'd in thee O God my God so as I may never more be devorst parted or seperated from thee nor thy ways but may long for to enjoy thy most sweet and only sweet and soul satisfying presence and Communion all my days for without thee and out of thee all things is even nothing but with thee enjoying thee we have all things and want nothing and do care for nothing else nor ask nor desire nothing Ah nothing else nay cannot think of any thing else 126. Blesse Ah blesse me then O Lord my Lord and my God who art the God and Father of Abraham of Isaac of Jacob and of all the blessed who blessest all that are blessed blesse O Lord blesse I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ all my weak fraile and unworthy prayers praises desires and actions make them a blessing so unto me as that thou mayest delight to blesse me more and more not for the satisfying of the flesh but of the spirit not of the body only but of the soul also not only the outward but the inward Ah the inward the inward man let me be so blessed in soul and body as that both soul and body may ever blesse and praise thee in life in death and after death Amen Amen 127. Ah Lord let me alwayes live in thee move by thee and have all my being from thee that is be all alwayes in all places and things for thee 128. Let Ah let the world and the things of the world seem to be as they are Vanity and Vexation of spirit unto me 129. Let me delight in thee O God only in thee alone 130. Let me always so live as I may be alwayes be ready to dye that whensoever I dye I may be sure alwayes to live that is to live Eternally 131. In Heaven O Lord where thou dost raigne Where is no grief no losse but gaine 132. When that the heart is as it were in God or God in the heart so that the mind doth only minde him Ah how unwilling is it to minde the world or any thing in the world of the world and how willing Ah how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its facultyes are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdome and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought
by thee as I may only and alwaies mind thee and have thee only and alwaies in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but let me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance How greatly ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joyes the joyes even in this worlds joyes when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure our unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so ful that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most emptie and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou are nighest us when we think ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at all of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou knowst I would most willingly be ah most willinglie I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldlie wisdom for to get or keep earthlie things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could alwaies walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joyes and wisdome very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment until I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me ah let me be blind as it were to see beautie in no beautie out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy fight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetnesse of God even of those sweet sweets that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Beeing with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and pillow of wool nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye
softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voyce of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no companie like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindnesse the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetnesse and greatnesse of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he inricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sicknesse and in health in all places and conditions he is alwaies nigh at hand to those that unfaignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodnesse to passe before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their shield their peace and their everlasting portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but alwaies and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall alwaies work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may alwaies touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gratious most gratious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gratious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou maist not only O God be in all my thoughts alwaies but alwaies all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodnesse that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousnesse that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comly and beautiful with thine own gloriousnesse to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulnesse that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall neve cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers what ever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatnesse of thy eternal and everlasting goodnesse wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 81. How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joyes how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their ficklenesse shortnesse and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 82. The wicked shall not live out half his daies and how long soever he live they will not be half the dayes he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiahs for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his daies as Methusalems all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 83. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom yea though a man could know more than Adam or Solomon knew though he could know all things that are and that perfectly too that are out of God and besides God what Ah what were all this learning knowledg or wisdom but folly meer foolishnesse in comparison of the knowledg of the Spirit Spiritual knowledg to know in Spirit and in Truth Jesus Christ and him crucified to be our Christ and our Jesus Paul accounted all other wisdom folly to this and so blessed be our God do I he desired to know no other thing but only this one thing no more do not I Let all other knowledg in me perish so this augment and
am thy God and I will be thy God and thy guide for ever and for ever 145. To fear God is to walk uprightly in all his wayes esteeming them all holy just and good 146. How Ah how doth the heart of a Child of God open and shut pant and gape hunger and thirst grieve and groan after the goodnesse of God which is after his likenesse to be like him for it cannot else be satisfied no not with all things not with Heavens all or that is on the earth for God only is all his good 147. I had much rather by much have the grace to please God then the grace of spiritual comfort rather have the grace or Sanctification then of Consolation 148. Let me get and keep my God with the loss of all and I will account it no losse I say no losse at all 149. The world 's all is nothing I say nothing at all to God our all who is only all even all only that is or can be desired 150. Surely surely the very soul of Religion is to serve God sincerely and heartily with our whole hearts and souls 151. For a little Ah for a very little which we give to God he giveth much to us let us not be niggards then if we will or desire to have him bountifull unto us and recompence our little with his much our small with his all 152. No man surely no man ever lost or repented for giving too much to God or for doing too much for him for every mite we rightly give a Talent at least we shall receive thus to love and fear the Lord in truth is true wisdome 153. Ah the happinesse the unspeakable great and true happinesse to possesse God and to be possest by him if then so great here Ah how great shall it be and will it be hereafter if the beginning here bring such unspeakable joyes how unspeakable will they be when begun there where we know they will never passe away or have an end 154. I had much rather by much have God with me and in me and feel it and know it and have nothing else then to have him and not feel him and have all that my heart doth or can else desire 155. When Ah when I am in his presence I am so satisfied to the full that I ask after no other satisfaction all other things are not regarded no nor thought on but thought altogether unworthy to be thought on or in the least regarded 156. Possesse then Ah possesse then O God my God who art all my good my whole heart mind thoughts and affections that I may be all thine and none but thine alwayes thine and ever thine even wholly thine until that thou hast made me such as thou wilt have me to be which is holy as thou art holy pure and perfect as thou O God art even in all things in some measure like unto thee so be it O Lord God so be it Amen and Amen In Bourdeaux Ann. 1659. 1. IF thou art O God my God I am sure thou wilt be my guide and if thou art my guide O God I am sure thou art my God 2. If O God thou goest with me I am sure that all will goe well with me but if thou goest not with me I am sure that what ever I do will be ill with me and for me 3. If thou art mine O God if thou art mine I am sure I am and shall be ever thine but if thou art not mine so sure even so sure it is that I am not thine 4. If I have thee O God for my God I have all I need to have but if I have thee not I have nothing thou knowest of all that I desire and crave 5. Let me then so find thee that I may feel thee in me and feeling may rejoyce with that unspeakable joy which they only feel and find that have found thee and fed on thee 6. Let all things else what ever they be passe away do but thee O God with thine own spirit abide in me I say ever abide in me and I shall I am sure rejoyce and be glad that they be all banisht what ever they be and that it be sayed of them all they are not they are not at all 7. Let me then O God my God so have thee possess thee find feel and enjoy thee that my heart may be alwayes upright before thee and transform'd and conform'd like unto thee even according to thine own heart holy pure perfect spotless and unblameable that thou mayest henceforth and for ever alwayes and ever own me for thine own 8. I love truth in all things it is only truth that makes all things unto me lovely for where truth is there we may safely and truly say that God is for God is truth 9. Let O God alwayes truth abide in me and I in truth 10. Truth is my joy truth is my delight truth is my food truth is my life truth is to me a continual feast of myrrh mirth and gladness truth alwayes gladdeth my heart and makes it to rebound upward to skip and leap as a Kid on the Mountaines and as a Lamb on the Hills 11. Truth is to me as a pretious Oyntment an eye salve it is a healing and a comforting to me alwayes 12. Truth brings down as it were Heaven unto me and carryes me up againe into it 13. Truth speaks loud in the ears of my soul and fills it with joy and continual and abundant rejoycings 14. Truth warmeth my heart at all times keepeth the fire of love joy and peace alive that it never goeth out 15. Truth is a balme to heal all sores to fill up all scarrs to make us without blemish faire and beautifull 16. Truth never grows old but is alwayes young strong and tender it keeps us fast to him and him fast to us whom only we desire to hold fast and never to let goe 17. Truth hath power to weaken all that is amiss in us to bring it under untill it be conquered finally and destroyed totally 18. Truth inflames our hearts that they are as a fire newly kindled which cannot easily be quenched 19. Truth aboundeth over all and makes us to abound likewise so that we know both how to want and how to abound 20. Truth inableth to goe beyond all things for truth bringeth us home to possesse all things even to possesse God the God and giver of all things who is truth 21. By truth we are inabled to lead new lives and to have holy affections frequent in us our hearts being set on earth 22. Truth is lovely amiable beautiful desireable as the finest gold that cannot be finer 23. Truth maketh us unlovely lovely beautiful bright shining transparent and glorious being a beame a spark a coale a little light of that great light in whom we are comprehended but cannot Ah cannot comprehend for he is altogether incomprehensible 24. Truth makes us alwayes lovely fair and beautiful
When God is in the heart it may be seen in the face and perceived by the words that come out of the mouth such a lustre is on the whole man both within and without when the presence of God by his Spirit is within he is surelie beautiful in the eyes of all beholders that delight and desire to behold the face of God in Jesus Christ the very Majestie of God in some sort is on such a soul and through the glorious light of Christs gracious face his face doth shine in the sight of God and all good men 49. I will make no condition with thee O God but only this that is to love thee only in all conditions as my God and my only good 50. Ah Lord I most unfeignedlie and humblie beseech thee let me never taste of this bitter bitter that is to find any sin sweet 51. But let all sin even all oh all Be unto me as wormwood and gall 52. Ah Lord I humbly beseech thee never suffer the remembrance of the former pleasures of sin to please me but let their remembrance be altogether displeasing hateful and detestabel and to be delivered from them let it be unto me as the deliverance from death and from Hell 53. Let the fire of thy grace quench totally the heat and fire of all and every lust sinful and disordinate affection that I may henceforth burn only in the fire of Love to thy Laws 54. The true life of God in a Christian is most of all and plainliest seen by his hatred to all evil and sin and by his unfeigned sincere ardent and continual Love to all that is good he loves all that is good in all to see it though a far off to hear it spoken of by any whatsoever but to find it in himself most of all joyes and satisfies him to see any evil committed or to hear any evil spoken by any troubles and afflicts him such is his Antipathy against it that he will not give it the least hearing or parley no nor cast the least glance of an eie to favour it it is abominable to him in thought word and deed and in all its circumstances even in all And as well hath the whole man all the faculties of the Soul hatred to the least circumstance of all ill as well as to the greatest but the degree and measure is according to the measure or degree or nature of the ill but it s alike hated sincerely as well the very least as the very greatest of all And in the same manner and measure is his unfeigned Love to all that is good he thanks and praiseth and priezth God for good thoughts as heartily and sincerly as for good words or actions because he as plainly seeth the true Love of God in the very least particualr as in the very gretest And 't is the Love of God which is his presence in Love that makes his Soul to leap within him with joy When that the Soul sees his God it sees all his good his Heaven his blisse his peace his Love his joy his rest his whole and only delight contentment and comfort But in the most good he seeth him most and therefore desireth to do the most good that ever was done or is possible to be done and therein he is best pleased because that pleaseth his God best and to please him is his only pleasure all his pleasure joy and delight only it is his Heaven and therefore he makes it his only happinesse 55. Ah God my God and my only good let it be I most humbly and unfaignedly beseech thee in Jesus Christ alwaies thus with me that my soul may be satisfied may be solaced may be refresht and comforted by thy living in me and by my living alwaies in thee and unto thee to thine eternal honour praise and glory for thine own glorious and holy names sake give me this grace that I may live this life here on Earth until I come to live that life that I shall after this is ended live with thee in Heaven So be it Lord. So be it Amen Amen 56. Ah how happy thrice happy are we Who both tast know feel find savour and see That thou livest in us and that we live in thee 57. Empty me O Lord of all even of all that I may be sit to receive and be filled with thy fulnesse even with thy blessed most blessed self the Ocean and Sea of all goodnesse 58. As long as we are full or in part filled with World flesh of self so much lesse room there is for God for when a Vessel is full it can receive nothing and according to the measure its empty it is capable to receive 59. How then Ah how then should we labour to empty our hearts of all that is not of God that we may be filled only with God with God only and alwaies be thus empty that we may be thus alwaies filled for its clear according to the measure we are empty we are capable to receive and we shall receive from God of his blessed fulnesse of unspeakable joyes and pleasures if we are willing and labour earnestly and sincerely to empty our selves of our selves and of all fleshly worldly pleasures and joyes which are but meer fancies vanities fooleries and toyes 60. Ah Lord God the Fountain and the Ocean that can never be emptied empty I most humbly and unfainedly beseech thee in the name and for the merits of thy Son and my Saviour Jesus Christ my heart of all things even of all what ever it be that is not according to thy heart that is not of thee that I may pant and gape hunger and thirst long and desire to be filled with thee alone alone with thee with thee who art only desirable and to be desired only grant that all the Worlds all may be more and more unto me nothing even nothing at all that thou maiest be all mine and I all thine that I may love all things out of thee lesse and lesse daily and thee O God more and more until I so love thee as it may not be possible for me to love thee more that my Love may cause me so to sink into thee as I may see my self in thee and thee in me yea that I may be so swallowed up into thee that I may not be mine but thine not mine own at all but thine own all even all thine Now henceforth and for ever more So be it Lord So be it Amen Amen 61. The greatest gift that God can give us is himself by Christ and then Faith to believe it a heart to love him and rejoyce in it and to praise him continually for it 62. And this will work in us unfained sincere ardent true Love which will cast out all fear of doubting and work in us a true fear not to offend or grieve him any more seeing he hath given us himself to make us his for ever and for ever 63. The greatest
gift that God gives man here on Earth is to assertain and assure him by his own Spirit that he hath and will give him him self for ever hereafter to behold his face in Heaven and that we are his and shall be his for ever 64. Ah Lord God I beseech thee augment and increase my Faith that it may remove the mountains of my sins altogether out of my sight that they may never shadow thy graces in me any more but that I may alwaies say as now thine own Spirit in me causeth me to say sweetly and boldly that thou art mine and I am thine that so I may in all needs wants crosses and afflictions whatsoever say I have enough I shall not want I cannot be poor because the Lord is my God and my Portion for ever and for ever 65. Ah Lord God let me feel anew and afresh daily what I have felt of thy Love and kindnesse in truth and know more and more clearly that thou art mine and that I am thine let me be still constantly assured that thou art my Lord and my God and that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me but wilt live in me for ever and for ever 66. Let all doubts and fears be scattered that Satan may never gather them together to molest or trouble me that my joy may be full that I may alwaies joy in this thy so great Salvation and be made glad by the light of thy countenance shining upon me which is better much by much and cheareth more than any wine 67. It is a most sweet thing to live free from all sin 68. To see our selves as we are in our selves and as we are in Christ in our selves black ugly deformed loathsome filthy and abominable but in Christ comly fair beautiful white clean pure bright delightful and spotlesse to see our selves in our selves darknesse black thick horrible darknesse but in Christ transparent transcendent bright light to see our selves in our selves weak but in Christ strong to see our selves in our selves barren but in Christ fruitful to see our selves in our selves very foolishnesse but in Christ ture Wisdom to see our selves in our selves lovelesse but in Christ lovely to see our selves in our selves nothing but in Christ all things to see our selves in our selves sinners miserable sinners members of Satan heirs of Hell and eternal damnation but in Christ Ah in Christ our Christ without sin as if we had never sinned as members of his own glorious body and coheirs with him of Eternal Life and Glory thus Faith doth cause us to see our selves when our eyes are opened 69. I had much rather by much have Obedience than any grace of comfort or assurance I had rather much by much be wholly obedient and want assurance than have assurance and fail in any point of obedience 70. Ah God my God and my only good give this grace that I may be wholly obedient unto all thy holy Laws and Divine Commandments for as thou lookest on it as the best of Sacrifices so my Soul rejoyceth more in it than in all graces for me thinks it comprehends all graces to be obedient from true sincere unfained Love Such a one would be wholy holly do thy whole and holy will alwaies for such a Soul makes the keeping of thy Commandments the only joy of his heart and the solace of his Soul 71. What Ah what a sweet most sweet cordition is it to live in God only and to see our selves in him for then the heart desires nothing else nor the mind minds nothing else nor the will chuse any thing else nor the affections love any thing else nor the Soul cares for any thing else nay it rejoyceth for that it is thus divorst from all things else an Ah how it chuseth and desireth thus to be ever to be ever thus to joy only in God and to make God only his joy 72. The heart and Soul is then to the World and to all the things of the World as a man asleep he values no more Crowns Scepters not Kingdoms wisdome strength beauty riches honours or pleasures than a stock or a stone doth or can do he is so senslesse so benum'd frozen icy and cold that he hath no sense or feeling he is caught up above all these high things here below and when he doth return to consider them Ah how low vain and foolish doth he account them nay he maketh not any account of them at all either great or smal 73. He weeps to see that he hath esteemed them as he hath and laughs at their folly that do chuse them for their choice best soveraign and chief good 74. A Soul in such a condition saith what have I any more to do with such Idols Ah that I could faith such a Soul ever enjoy my God so as that all things out of him and besides him might give me no joy 75. Such a Soul saith when and whilst I have the best good the soveraign good take the other he that will I would Ah I would with my whole heart give all to any so I could give the thoughts of it likewise that it might never more come into my thoughts but that I might be so swallowed up in God as he might only contain me and be all my all 76. What hath the King more than the beggar or what is he more when he is asleep as to enjoyment the beggar then wants nothing of what his heart desireth and the King possesseth nothing then of all that he possesseth according to the desires of his heart they are then alike frustrate of all things and possesse nothing 77. Even so it is with the Soul nay with the whole man when he is drawn in drowned buried or swallowed up in God he is asleep yea dead to all things out of God and besides God and saith what are all these outward glorious beautiful Objects to those which I did enjoy in God Ah if I could if I could alwaies possesse these what would I care for them they are to me at such times even as if they were not in comparison of what they are at other times I can and do now heartily laugh them to scorn and have them in contempt and derision my God my God is so good he is so good and so delightful as he is now become my whole and my sole delight 78. Ah if it could be ever thus with me I am sure I should never want any of these things that the flesh craves not bread to feed me not drink to refresh me not cloaths to cover me having and possessing the things above and could they Ah and could they alwaies be possest I think none but mad men and fools will dare say that we want any of the things below though we should want them all As to me I am sure I should not find any vvant If I could be alvvaies as I have been sometimes 79. But O Lord I praise thee O Lord I mightily
prize and praise thee that I am content with thy will that is yet to live in this Bacca in this Wilderness and in this Valley of tears as long as thou wilt yea I am so content that I pray heartily with my whole heart Let thy will be done on me wholly as thou wilt and not as I I will or would I desire to be only only to be what thou wilt have me to be thine O Lord thine and not my will be done untill thy kingdom come Amen Amen So be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 80. To have all things and not to have God sure is to have nothing sure to possess all things and not to possess God is to possess nothing all things besides God is vanity foolishness nothingness will fly from us and leave us for ever even then and when we have most need of help succour and defence but God will leave us never If we be his he will surely stand by us defend us assist us and give us all that we shall stand in need of yea much above what we can ask or think 81. The very least mercy or blessing either on body or soul which I have received from God deserves much more praise by much than I am able to give unto God though I should continually praise him and live continually to his praise for what am I poor despicable I that I should receive any thing from the hand of God! But ah how much less then from the heart of God in love 82. I know O Lord God that thou hast regard to my feebleness to make me strong to my poverty despicable povertie to make me rich for ever to my nakedness to cover me with thy most glorious robes to my emptiness to fill me with thy blessed most blessed self to my uncleanness and filthiness to wash me white and to make me clean to my uncomliness to make me comelie to my ugliness to make me lovelie to my wretchedness and miserie to make me honourable and blessed and to my nothingness to give me all things for ever and for ever So be it Lord so be it 83. Who can ah who can measure the earth fathom the sea and count the stars in heaven and yet how much more unable and hard is it to measure to comprehend and understand the height the depth the length and the breadth of the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 84. His goodness is as his greatness incomprehensiblie great and his greatness is as his goodness incomprehensiblie good 85. Thy presence O God thy presence makes all things that are bitter sweet and thy absence makes all sweet things bitter 86. O God ' thou givest such gifts to men that they can see even here in the flesh by the eye of faith that which thou hast prepared for them in heaven that Christ and all his graces and righteousness is theirs that heaven and eternal life and glory is theirs for ever and for ever that their sins are all pardoned and done away as if they had never been they see all that is to come as if it were alreadie come unto them they have alreadie as it were what they shall have hereafter even all those joyes riches and pleasures that are in God and therefore they rejoyce even here with unspeakable joy 87. Faith causeth us to read in that Book that is sealed up our names written there and our sins blotted out Faith carries us often up into heaven even whilst we are here on earth thus Faith can and thus Faith doth do all things 88. Heaven is heaven O God because thou raâ—â—nest there and hell is hell because thou raignest not there heaven is all good because that thou O God that art all good dwellest there and givest out continually of thy goodness to make them all good and like thy self that are there hell is all evil because that thou O God that art all good art not there for hell would not be hell if thou wert ther O God in love it is thy presence that maketh heaven heaven and it is thy absence that hell is hell Heaven is filled with thy smiles therefore it is heaven hell is filled with thy frowns and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven is filled with thy love and therefore it is lovely hell is filled with thy hatred and therefore it is hateful Heaven is free of and from all sin and therefore it is heaven hell is full of all sin and therefore ah therefore it is hell Heaven possesseth O God the light that glorious light of thy most glorious countenance and therefore it is such a most glorious light as cannot be comprehended with darkness but hell is altogether dispossess'd of thee O God who art this light of heaven and therefore it is all darkness even black thick darkness Heaven hath alwaies thee O God who art not only holy but holiness who art not only wise but wisdom it self who art not only powerful but power it self who hast not only all things but art all things and therefore heaven is such a heaven as it is but hell hath thee not wherefore it is all sinful wretched and miserable heaven is heaven in heaven yea such a blessed heaven as it is because thou hast O God blessed it and hell is cursed yea cursed as it is because thou hast cursed it from thine eternal ever blessed presence They are blessed and shall be ever blessed that are in heaven because they shall ever live with thee and possess thee O God the God and giver of all blessedness and they are cursed and shall be ever cursed that are in hest because they live not in thee possess thee not and are not possessed by thee 89. Ah Lord God that art this heavenly heaven this light this glory this most transcendent incomprehensible glorious light this blessedness this full whole entire compleat and perfect blessedness of all the blessed in glory this holiness this love this most lovely holiness Give me I most humbly beseech thee and unto all thine such a measure of thine infinite grace that we may even here sink into thee and be swallowed up by thee receiving continually grace for grace and be alwaies altogether fully filled with thy blessed fulness and be for ever separated and divorced from and out of all things that is not of thee that we may henceforth lead such holy lives in all our doings dealings conversations so that after this life ended we may with thee and in thee O God our only good live that everlasting life of peace rest joy solace and full contentment that shall never ah that shall never know end So be it O Lord God Almighty so be it Amen and Amen 90. Ah Lord give me this grace to hate sin all sin though there were no punishment due unto it and sincerelie to love vertue and grace though there were no reward for it hate the one because it is hateful in it self and
love the other because it is in it self lovelie 91. O Lord let my love be true for thee as thine is I am sure for me 92. Let my love O Lord be hot for thee as I am sure thine is for me 93. Let my love be strong for thee as I am sure thine is O Lord for me 94. Let my love be sincere for thee as thine is O my Lord I am sure for me 95. Let my love be continual O Lord God for thee as I am sure thine is and shall be for ever for me 96. All the things out of God and besides God are to a true believer but as husks but as the shell but as dry bones c. But all things in God are the pith without the husk are the kernel out of the shell are as marrow out of the bone they are truly savory and sweet much more desirable and to be desired than gold yea then much fine gold and the most pretious pearls 97. He that is in God and finds God in him that is the life of Christ within him Christ which is holiness to be writ on his heart esteemeth himself rich in the greatest poverty for he knoweth that all things are his he still carrieth about with him that unspeakable treasure that unpusible treasure that will make him truly rich wise and honourable to all Eternitie and with this riches he maketh many rich though such a one be despised he mocketh at their laughter and mockings and sincerely desires and wisheth that they had changed their estates for such an estate as will make them surely and truly for ever rich 98. He that possesseth the riches of God his spirit esteemeth the wiscome of the wise according to the flesh that is humane freshly wisdome to be but meer foolishnesse the treasures of the world though it were even all this worlds treasure to be but meer trash and all its honours and pleasures to be but meer emptiness shadows outsides nothing and can be all fitly compared to nothing but to nothing 99. Let me have thee O God alwayes and I will alwayes say as Jacob did when he had thee I have all and I am sure I shall never lack any thing at all for this life or the life to come for thou art O God more then all that is either in Heaven above or on earth below 100. He that possesseth God thus hath in some measure Gods likenesse which is holinesse within and without and that bringeth true contentment and he that is truly contented wanteth nothing but possesseth much more by much than he which if it could be should possesse all the whole world its riches honours and pleasures thus the man that liveth in God knoweth findeth and feeleth and therefore rejoyceth with unspeakable joy and this his joy as no man knoweth so no man can take it from him it is the gift of God yea it is the gift God 101. What Ah what heart is able to conceive or tongue express the joyes Ah the joyes the joyes that he enjoyes that thus enjoyes God how how Ah how doth he rejoyce and triumph having got such a Victory having such a Crown of glory such a glorious most glorious Crown put on his head much finer then the finest gold and brighter then the clearest Pearl or Diamond thus faith makes such souls triumph without controul they are so fully filled with those rivers of pleasures that flow from Gods own right hand 102. Thou art O God thou art and there is none else none besides thee God blessed for ever give me I most humbly beseech thee if it be agreeable unto thee those joyes continually that I may Ah that I may continually fear thee that I may continually love thee that I may continually serve thee and more and more O Lord much by much give up my self spirit soul and body unto thee to worship and to adore thee the greatness of thy goodness and the goodness of thy greatness which is so incomprehensible and without end Ah Lord I leave my self with thee leave thou thy self with me I desire thou knowest never to goe from thee goe not then I beseech thee from me but let me be all thine and alwayes thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen 103. the glory of my glory is that thou hast O God created me for thine own self for thine own glory swallow me up so in thy self that all things out of thee and besides thee O God who art my best good may be swallowed up that is consumed that all mine may be all thine thee thine mine 105. I would much rather by much that God should keep from me the greatest comforts then not to see and know my failings and fallings 106. Ah Lord the sight and knowledge of my failings and fallings causeth thee to have thoughts of good for me to send me comfort by restoring me to thy wonted favour and by giving me repenting grace pardoning grace and preserving grace 107. By seeing my failings and my fallings thou pitiest me O Lord because I am in so pitiful a case 108. Ah Lord let thine eyes be alwayes open and watch thou over me to see me in what case or condition soever I be 109. I was indeed I confess heretofore ashamed and afraid that thou should'st and did'st see me and know me I was so vile and filthy and finding no true love in me for thee I thought O Lord that thou had'st noise in thee for me but that thou did'st hate me because indeed I was altogether hateful But now I know and for which I heartily and sincerely desire ever to praise thee that thine anger is turned away and that thine hand is stretched out still over me to preserve protect defend maintaine and to do me good 110. So that what I thought was my ill I now know is my greatest good that thou seest me O God that thou alwayes seest me and I would not but that thou did'st alwayes see me as well when I am in my sins in my worst case and condition as when at the very best because at the very best thou canst see I acknowledge and sincerely consess nothing in me that thou should'st do any good to me or for me so bad is my very best so empty nothing and vile is all mine all And knowing thee now O Lord God by thine own sweet name of love and mercy I am not I praise thee at all afraid that thou see in me all my sins past because thou hast given me a free pardon for them present sins because having pardoned those I am as sure that thou wilt pardon these neither am I afraid of my sins to come because I know that thou art never weary doing good and that thou never me Wherefore O Lord seeing that thou art become my Lord and my God I now most humbly beseech thee to look on me at all times in all places and things
what ever my failings or my fallings be to recover me and comfort me as thou did'st Peter for I know and firmly through grace believe that what thou wert thou art and wilt be ever unto me a sin pardoning God a God pardoning all my sins whatsoever And seeing O God my God that thou art such a God as thou art give me grace that whatever I do I may do it to thy Glory for thy Glory and never more Ah never more willingly wittingly or knowingly sin against thee in thought word or deed but freely and cheerfully depart henceforth from all iniquity with my whole heart and Soul even from all both the great and the small that I may be ever thine and all thine from this time forth and for ever more Amen 111. Thus the Lord brings good out of evil Sweet out of bitter and gives us as at this time unto my poor Soul new tokens pledges and assurances of his old Love 112. Ah Lord let this thy Love and kindnesse even thy most loving and kind Love be alwaies had in remembrance of me and cause me to cling to thee to cleave to thee to hold thee fast and never to let thee go and let me alwaies say the Lord be praised the Lord be praised alwaies 113. Ah Lord seeing I have so deeply and so sweetly drank of and at this thy wel of consolation let it be in me ever a well of living water that may never grow dry that I may alwaies suck at this breast to refresh my Soul when I am a thirst 114. I sincerely confesse and professe were I to spend all my daies to praise thee that the time would be too too short much by much to shew forth thy loving kindnesse and thy Love wherewith thou hast loved me And therefore my soul praiseth thee and rejoyceth for that there shall be no end of that time which thou hast O God appointed wherein I shall speak of and sing thy praises it shall be World without end that I shall praise thee O God the God of my Salvation and my God 115. O God let this mercy be alwaies as fire to heat me as food to feed me as drink to refresh me as wine to comfor me as cloaths to cloth me as riches of all sorts to inrich me let it be to me alwaies all things Let it not lose its worth nor fast by lying but let it be alwaies as the honey-comb dropping honey to revive and comfort and strengthen me and that I never forget what a God thou art and that thou changest not thou art still the same God blessed for ever and for ever 116. Ah Lord let me never forget these thy mercies but through grace and the presence of thy Holy Spirit walk worthy of them unto all eternity through the worthinesse merits and obedience of Jesus Christ thy only Son and my alone Saviour and Redeemers sake Amen 117. Many times God is so good and gratious so merciful and loving unto us that then even then when we fear we shall see his frowns that he will frown on us when we come before him He to our great astonishment and admiration smiles on us When we fear that he will strike us with the rod of his anger he imbraceth and kisseth us with the kisses of exceeding transcendent Love when we fear he will be absent he is then many times most sweetly present surpassing much by much all sweets conceivable as he was at this time to me which Ah that I could alwaies bear in mind that I might henceforth and forever live as I should live to his honour and for his glory only 118. Thus is our God good that he bringeth us good when we fear evil and sometimes sheweth us that his goodnesse is so great towards us for us that he mindeth not our evil 119. Surely when we mind it much and afflict our selves and are heartily ashamed and confounded by reason of our weaknesses failings and imperfections he sheweth that he will not punish us when we do as it were thus freely and severely punish our selves he knoweth of what we are made and that we are but dust and yet he delighteth that we love him fear him prise him praise him and believe him and make him and his Love all our delight and joy 220. Ah Lord suffer me never more to requite this thy exceeding great kindnesse with the least or any unkindnesse but that I may henceforth walk before thee circumspectly and wisely with a heedful watchful careful care doing alwaies thy will with my whole heart mind and will 121. When a Soul sees himself free from the Love liking or allowing of any sin it see its self in God and how it is made partaker of the Divine Nature that it is a little spark or beam of that glorious Light which is pure trasparent bright and clear and having no mixture nor no cloud for sin only brings darknesse in the Soul sin only is the cloud which eclypses the Light of this glorious Sun sin only darkens and weakens our sight and our knowledge and hinders us that we do not nor cannot see our selves as we are in God but when that sin is done away totally that is all Love liking and allowance then are the eies of our understanding opened and all darknesse is swallowed up done away and wholy and totally consumed and we are swallowed up in to this Divine Light by which we are made to see and know our selves as we are in God a part as it were of this Light even this Light it self in some measure it is so in us and we are so in it we see our selves clear and free from all fears and cares being delivered from them and having obtained the fulnesse of knowledge desired or desirable that is that we are partakers of him that is all purity all light all wisdom all serenity peace contentednesse and rest all passions ceasing of desiring more for all the desires are satisfied having this knowledge to see our selves and know our selves to be with him and in him which to know to behold is to partake of and this is Eternal Life in us 122. But when the mind of man I mean only his thoughts is on any sinne though never so smal or never so little if in the least measure consented unto it robs him at that time of all his happinesse his sight is darkned his eies are so dim that he cannot look up sin is so heavy so devilish that it presseth the Soul downward to Hell to the Devil which plainly shews its Center whence it is and what it is for the time that it is thus liked or loved or but connived at it metamorphoses the Soul and makes it instead of being God-like Spiritual Knowledge Light Purity Serenity Peace Rest Comfort Joy and full contentednesse to be in some measure Devil-like darknesse fear shame horror confusion condemnation accusation hanging yea falling alwaies downward and not able in the least measure to
of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptyness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil alwaies without and within in Spirit Soul and body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angles and men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eies O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father not to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou maiest O God thou maiest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy Judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own Soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not one of thy Divine Commandments and most holy Laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy Holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the waies of Hell death and destruction for body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out af the waies of Heaven blisse and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have profan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traitorously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have thus continued unto my lives end hadst thou not in love and mercy puld me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire If thou hadst not O God come in to my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he bid me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodnesse and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable caitif and captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindnesse of thee my God to my poor soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure inable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prise and that other that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodnesse love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and bredth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for bredth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joyes that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfaignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness hounty and Love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinful lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and Conscience of the free full and gratious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tied me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy Divine Love thus shewn me thy great
Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joyes full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have I often desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to rhee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that art good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodnesse that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinsul dust and ashes the richest choycest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether fatisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are alwaies thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaring up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinckle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consists in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worchiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we are fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the life of my life yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heavens gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace So that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make Warr for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eie the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may die in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in blisse and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to
poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and Commandest yea me thinks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devout them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Arch Angels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ begg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choyce and chiefe grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdome of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and staine their glory such as will go about to condemne what they cannot mend and to marre what they cannot make turn O God their wisdome as thou did'st Achitophels into foolishnesse but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their wayes and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pittiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in teares of blood that any poor soul should either live or die in sin that a soul which is of much more value then ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtinesse and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittyed and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st chearfully endure the Cross and despise the shame aud so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gratious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gratious Providence come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all windering Prodigals that are in far Countrys that is far from thee feeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affect ions Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was my most miserable and woful condition But I praise thy glorious Name thou hast washt and cleansed and sanctified my soul. Ah be thou pleased to let them all tast of the same love and kindnesse let them drink all of the same Cup and eat of the same meat and be cloathed with the same Robes and have a like ring of Love put on their fingers Ah let them O Father Lord of Heaven and Earth be thus welcomed by the and owned by thee for thine own and adorn'd thus gratiously with thine own glory that thou mayest delight in them and they may make thee only all their joy delight and rejoycing Ah that the