put thine enemie is desperation while forcing him to set light by his owne life thou makest him master of thine That neglected danger lights soonest and heauiest That they are wisest who in the likelyhood of good prouide for ill That since pitty dwells at the next doore to miserie he liueth most at ease that is neighboured with enuie That the euill fortune of the wars as well as the good is variable Newes from my Lodging THat the best prospect is to looke inward That it is quieter sleeping in a good conscience then a whole skin That a soule in a fat bodie lies soft and is loth to rise That he must rise betimes who would cosen the deuill That Flatterie is increased from a pillow vnder the elbow to a bed vnder the whole bodie That Policie is the vnsleeping night of reason That hee who sleepes in the cradle of securitie sins soundly without starting That guilt is the flea of the conscience That no man is throughly awaked but by affliction That a hang'd chamber in priuate is nothing so convenient as a hang'd Traitor in publique That the religion of Papistry is like a curtaine made to keep out the light That the life of most women is walking in their sleepe and they talke their dreames That chambering is counted a ciuiler qualitie then playing at tables in the Hall though Seruingmen vse both That the best bedfellow for all times in the yeere is a good bed without a fellow That he who tumbles in a calme bed hath his tempest within That hee who will rise must first lye downe and take humilitie in his way That sleep is deaths picture drawne to life or the twilight of life and death That in sleep wee kindly shake death by the hand but when wee are awaked wee will not know him That often sleeping are so many tryalls to die that at last we may doe it perfectly That few dare write the true newes of their chamber and that I haue none secret enough to tempt a strangers curiositie or a seruants discouerie God giue you good morrow B. R. Newes of my morning worke THat to bee good is the way to bee most alone or the best accompanied That the way to heauen is mistaken for the most melancholy walke That most feare the worlds opinion more then Gods displeasure That a Court friend seldom goes further then the first degree of charitie That the deuill is the perfectest Courtier That innocency was first cozen to man now guiltinesse hath the neerest allyance That sleep is deaths leger Embassador That time can neuer bee spent wee passe by it and cannot returne That none can be sure of more time then an instant That sin makes worke for repentance or the deuill That patience hath more power then afflictions That euery ones memorie is diuided into two parts the part loosing all is the sea the keeping part is land That honestie in the Court liues in persecution like Protestants in Spaine That predestination and constancie are alike vncerteine to be iudged of That reason makes loue the Seruingman That vertues fauour is better then a Kings fauorite That being sick begins a sute to God being well possesseth it That health is the coach which caries to heauen sicknes the post-horse That worldly delights to one in extreame sicknes is like a hiecandle to a blind man That absence doth sharpen loue presence strengthens it that the one brings fuell the other blowes till it burnes cleere that loue often breaks friendship that euer increaseth loue That constancie in women and loue in men is alike rare That Arte is truths iugler That falshood playes a larger part in the world then truth That blinde zeale and lame knowledge are alike apt to ill That fortune is humblest where most contemned That no porter but resolution keeps feare out of minds That the face of goodnes without a body is the worst wickednesse That weomens fortunes aspire but by others powers That a man with a female wit is the worst Hermaphrodite That a man not worthy being a frend wrongs himself by being an acquaintance That the worst part of ignorance is making good and ill seem alike That all this is newes onely to fooles M râ—â— B. Newes from the lower end of the Table IT is said among the folkes heere that if a man dye in his infancie he hath onely broke his fast in this world If in his youth hee hath left vs at dinner That it is bed-time with a man at therescore and ten and he that liues to a hundred yeeres hath walked a mile after supper That the humble-minded man makes the lowest curtsie That grace before meat is our election before we were grace after our saluation when we are gone The soule that halts between two opinions falls between two stooles That a foole at the vpper end of the table is the bread before the salt He that hates to be reproued sits in his owne light Hunger is the cheapest sawce and nature the cheapest guest The sensible man and the silent woman are the best discoursers Repentance without amendment is but the shifting of a foule trencher He that tells a lye to saue his credit wipes his mouth with his sleeue to spare his napkin The tongue of aiester is the fiddle that the bearts of the companie dance to The tongue of a foole carues a peece of his heart to euery man sits next him A silent man is a couered messe The contented man onely is his owne caruer Hee that hath many friends eats too much salt with his meat That wit without discretion cuts other men meat and his own fingers That the soule of a cholericke man sits euer by the fire side That patience is the larde to the leane meat of aduersitie The Epicure puts his money into his belly and the miser his belly into his purse That the best companie makes the vpper end of the table and not the saltseller The supersluitie of a mans possessions is the broken meat that should remaine to the poore That the enuious keeps his knife in his hand and swallowes his meat whole A rich foole among the wise is a gilt empty bowle among the thirstie Ignorance is an insensible hunger The water of life is the best wine He that robs mee of my invention bids himselfe welcome to another mans table and I will bid him welcome when he is gone The vaine-glorious man pisseth more then hee drinkes That no man can drinke a health out of the cup of blessing To surfet vpon wit is more dangerous then to want it He that 's ouercome of any passion is dry drunke T is easier to fill the belly of faith then the eye of reason The rich glutton is better fed then taught That faith is the elbow for a heauy soule to leane on Hee that sins that he may repent surfets that he may take physicke He that riseth without thanksgiuing goes away and payes not for his ordinarie He that begins to repent when he is old neuer washed his hands till night That this life is but one day of three meales or one meale of three courses childhood youth and old age That to sup well is to liue well and that 's the way to sleep well That no man goes to bed till hee dyes nor wakes till he is dead And therfore Good night to you heere good morrow hereafter J. C. Nowes from the Bed THat the bed is the best rendevou of mankind and the most necessarie ornament of a chamber That Souldiers are good antiquaries in keeping the old fashion for the first bed was the bare ground That a mans pillow is his best counseller That Adam lay in state when the heauen was his canopie That the naked truth is Eue and Eue lay without sheetes That they were either very innocent very ignorant or very impudent they were not ashamed the heauens should see them lye without a couerlet That it is likely Eue studied Astronomie which makes the posteritie of her sex euer since to lye on their backs That the circumference of the bed is nothing so wide as the convex of the heauens yet it containes a whole world That the fiue sences are the greatest sleepers That a slothfull man is but a reasonable Dormouse That the soule euer wakes to watch the body That a Iealous man sleeps dog-sleep That sleep makes no difference between a wise-man and a foole That for all times sleep is the best bedfellow That the deuill and mischiefe euer wake That loue is a dreame That the preposterous hopes of ambitious men are like pleasing dreames farthest off when awake That the bed payes Venus more custome then all the world beside That if dreames and wishes had been all true there had not been since Popery one maide to make a Nun of That the secure man sleeps soundly and is hardly to be wak't That the charitable man dreames of building Churches but starts to thinke the vngodly Courtier will pull them down again That great sleepers were neuer dangerous in a state That there is a naturall reason why popish Priests chuse the bed to confesse their women vpon for they hold it necessarie that humiliation should follow shrift That if the bed should speake all it knowes it would put many to the blush That it is fit the bed should know more then paper R. S. FINIS
his He seldome breakes his owne clothes He neuer drinkes but double for hee must be pledg'd not commonly without some short sentence nothing to the purpose and seldome abstaines till hee come to a thirst His discretion is to bee carefull for his Masters credit and his sufficiencie to marshall dishes at a table and to carue well His neatnesse consists much in his haire and outward linnen His courting language visible bawdy iests and against his matter faile he is alway ready furnished with a song His inheritance is the chamber-maide but often purchaseth his Masters daughter by reason of opportunitie or for want of a better he alwaies cuckolds himselfe and neuer marries but his own widow His Master being appeased he becomes a retayner and entailes himselfe and his posteritie vpon his heires males for euer An Host IS the kernell of a signe or the signe is the shell and mine Host is the snaile He consists of double beere and fellowship and his vices are the bawdes of his thirst Hee entertaines humbly and giues his guests power aswell of himselfe as house Hee answers all mens expectations to his power saue in the reckoning and hath gotten the tricke of greatnesse to lay all mislikes vpon his seruants His wife is the Cumenseede of his doue house and to bee a good guest is a warrant for her libertie Hee traffiques for guests by mens friends friends friend and is sensible only of his purse In a word he is none of his owne for he neither eats drinks or thinks but at other mens charges and appointments An Ostler IS a thing that scrubbeth vnreasonably his horse reasonably himselfe He consists of Trauellers though he be none himselfe His highest ambition is to bee Host and the invention of his signe is his greatest wit for the expressing whereof he sends away the painters forwant of vnderstanding He hath certain charmes for a horse mouth that hee shall not eat his hay and behind your backe hee will cozen your horse to his face His curry-combe is one of his best parts for hee expresseth much by the gingling and his mane-combe is a Spinners card turn'd out of seruice Hee puffes and blowes ouer your horse to the hazard of a double iugge and leaues much of the dressing to the prouerbe of Muli mut uo scabient one horse rubs another He comes to him that calls loudest not first he takes a broken head patiently but the knaue he feeles not His vtmost honestie is goodfellowship and hee speakes Northerne what countryman soeuer Hee hath a pension of Ale from the next Smith and Sadler for intelligence Hee loues to see you ride and holds your stirrop in expectation NEWES FROM ANY VVHENCE OR Old Truthes vnder a supposall of Noueltie Occasioned by diuers Essayes and priuate passages of wit between sundry Gentlemen vpon that subiect Newes from Court IT is thought heere that there are as great miseries beyond happinesse as a this side it as being in loue That truth is euery mans by assenting That time makes euery thing aged and yet it selfe was neuer but a minute old That next sleep the greatest deuourer of time is businesse the greatest stretcher of it Passion the truest measure of it Contemplation To be saued alwaies is the best plot and vertue alwaies cleeres her way as she goes Vice is euer behind-hand with it selfe that wit and a woman are two fraile things and both the frailer by concurring That the meanes of begetting a man hath more encreast mankind then the end That the madnes of loue is to be sicke of one part and cured by another The madnes of ielousie that it is so diligent and yet hopes to loose his labour That all women for the bodily part are but the same meaning put in diuers words that the difference in the sense is their vnderstanding That the wisdome of Action is Discretion the knowledge of contemplation is truth the knowledge of action is men That the first considers what should be the latter makes vse of what is That euery man is weake in his owne humors That euerie man a litle beyond himselfe is a foole That affectation is the more ridiculous part of folly then ignorance That the matter of greatnesse is comparison That God made one world of Substances man hath made another of Arte and Opinion That money is nothing but a thing which Art hath turned vp trumpe That custome is the soule of circumstances That custome hath so far preuailed that truth is now the greatest newes T. O. Answer to the Court newes THat Happines and Miserie are Antipodes That Goodnesse is not Felicitie but the rode thither That mans strength is but a vicisitude of falling and rising That only to refraine ill is to be ill still That the plot of saluation was laid before the plot of Paradise That enioying is the preparatiue to contemning That hee that seekes opinion beyond merit goes iust so far backe That no man can obtaine his desires nor the world hath not to fill his measure That to studie men is more profitable than bookes That mens loues are their afflictions That titles of honour are tartles to still ambition That to be a King is fames butt and feares quiuer That the soules of women and louers are wrapt vp in the portmanque of their senses That imagination is the end of man That wit is the web and wisdome the woose of the cloth so that womens soules were neuer made vp That enuy knowes what it will not confesse That Goodnesse is like the art prospectiue one point center begetting infinite rayes That man woman and the deuill are the three degrees of comparison That this newes holds number but not weight by which couple all things receiue forme A. S. Country Newes THat there is most heere for it gathers in going That reputation is measured by the acre That pouertie is the greatest dishonestie That the pitty of alas poore soule is for the most part mistaken That rost beefe is the best smell That a Iustice of peace is the last relique of Idolatry That the allegorie of Iustice drawne blind is turned the wrong way That not to liue to heauenly is accounted great wrong That wisdome descends in a race That we loue names better than persons That to hold in knights-seruice is a slipperie tenure That a Papist is a new word for a traytor That the dutie of religion is lent not pai'd That the reward is lost in the want of humilitie That the Puritane persecution is as a cloud that can hide the glory of the light but not the day That the emulation of English and Scots to bee the Kings countrymen thrust the honour on the Welch That a Courtier neuer attaines his selfe knowledge but by report That his best 〈◊〉 is a hearne dogge That many great men are 〈◊〉 they know not their own Fathers That loue is the 〈◊〉 worme That a woman is the effect of her owne first same That to remember to know and to
A WIFE NOVV The Widdow OF SIR THOMAS OVERBVRYE Being A most exquisite and singular Poem of the choice of a Wife WHEREVNTO ARE ADDED many witty Characters and conceited Newes written by himselfe and other learned Gentlemen his friends Dignum laude virum musa vetat mori Coelo musa beat Hor car lib. 3. LONDON Printed for Lawrence Lisle and are to bee sold at his shop in Paules Church-yard at the signe of the Tigers head 1614. THE PRINTER TO the Reader THY ignorance may challenge libertie enough not to relish the deepe Arte of Poetry because opinion makes thee obstinate and rude tradition hath taught thee nothing but an abuse of knowledge For when thou readest a quaffing fellowes barbarisme a worthy-written stile in Tragedies and a collusiue flourish onely fronted with the name of excellent thou ouer-lookst them all with the vsuall contempt or aspersion of friuolous and fantasticke labours putting no difference betwixt the horse pictured on a signe-post and the curious limbd Pegasus But the age giues one comfort in extremitie that as there is a Lizard which assailes so is there one which wonders at the maiestie of man sure I am if any shall neglect nay not commend the worth of this so generally approued Poem he may if it proceeds from nice critiscisme bee well excluded as a churlish retainer to the Muses if from a direct plaine dealing he must be degraded for insufficiencie For had such a volume been extant among the ancient Romanes though they wanted our easie conseruations of wit by printing yet would they rather and more easily haue committed the sense hereof to brasse and cedar leaues then let such an Author baue lost his due eternitie If to converse with a creature so amiable heere described be thought more then difficult let then the contemplation of it be admirable which hath expressed the soule in so compact aforme of body The surplusage that now exceeds the last edition was that I may bee honestly impartiall in some things only to be challenged by the first author but others now added little inferior to the residue being in nature answerable and first transcrib'd by Gentlemen of the same qualitie I haue vpon good inducements made publike with warrantie of their and my owne credit Not doubting therefore to be doubly discharged both by the verdict of conscience and the well-deserued thankes of all iudicious Readers I bid you euery one farewell May 16. 1614. A MORNING-SACRIFICE to the Author THe only curse or blessing that betides To men made doubtful by their beauteous brides Could neuer being apparent satisfie The full enioyer with satietie Of confidence to call them good or bad So much as this good worke which chiefly had A faire creation to create anew The soule of some and to confirme some few Hath rescued shamelesse iudgment from the suit Of meere opinion and speakes absolute This widdow booke then wife to rauish'd skill Married and made by the most maiden quill Of one not lost to her though she to him Hath leaue to liue thus single richly trim Yet neuer to be challeng'd being so chaste In puritie and not to be imbrac't Without the reuerence of hir wedlocks loue Which when thou seem'st vnwilling to approue Scorne a compleat faire woman and so grudge Because thou hast no libertie to iudge Nor let thy glorious confidence presume To make this Lady plyant through perfume Ospowdred phrase and robes or complement For though on pilgrimage thy learning went In quest of such a wonder yet thy paines Were lost although thy labri'ng suit obtaines For woman in the abstract hath no more Then hath the wife the widdow maiden whore And altogether therefore thou hast none Except thy labours purchase such a one Which to haue said they all agreed in Eue Is all enough if iealous man beleene By I. S. Lincolniensis Gentleman Briefe Panegyrickes to the Authors praise To the Booke EXpos'd to all thou wilt lesse worthy seeme I feare wiues common all men disesteeme Yet some things haue a differing fate some fret We doubt in wares which are in corners set Hid medalls rust which being vsd grow bright The day more friendeth vertue then the night Thou though more common then maist seeme more good I onely wish thou mayst be vnderstood G. R. TO make a Wife of wit or meere Philosophie And deck her vp with flowers of sweetest poesie Is no hard taske but such a one of flesh to find Would weary all the wits and bodies of mankind Since worse must serue the turne then men must bee content To take such as they find not such as they invent T. B. WEll hast thou said that woman should be such And were they that had but a third as much I would be maried too but that I know Not what shee is but should be thou dost show So let me praise thy worke and let my life Be single or thy widow be my wife X. Z. Of the choice of a Wife IF I were to chuse a woman As who knowes but I may marry I would trust the eye of no man Nor a tongue that may miscarry For in way of loue and glory Each tongue best tells his own storie First to make my choice the bolder I would haue her child to such Whose free vertuous liues are older Then antiquitie can touch For t is seldom seen that bloud Giues a beauty great and good Yet an ancient stocke may bring Branches I confesse of worth Like rich mantles shadowing Those descents that brought them forth Yet such hills though gilded show Soonest feele the age of snow Therefore to preuent such care That repentance soone may bring Like Merchants I would chuse my ware Vse-full good not glittering He that weds for state or face Buyes a horse to loose a race Yet I would haue her faire as any But her owne not kist away I would haue her free to many Looke on all like equall day But descending to the Sea Make her set with none but me If she be not tall t is better For that word A goodly woman Prints it selfe in such a letter That it leaues vnstudied no man I would haue my mistresse grow Only tall to answer no. Yet I would not haue her loose So much breeding as to fling Vnbecomming scorne on those That must worship euery thing Let her feare loose lookes to scatter And loose men will feare to flatter Children I would haue her beare More for loue of name then bed So each child I haue is heire To another maidenhead For shee that in the act 's afraid Euery night 's another maide Such a one as when shee 's wood Blushes not for ill thoughts past But so innocently good That her dreames are euer chaste For that maide that thinks a sin Has betrai'd the fort shee 's in In my visitation still I would haue her seatter feares How this man and that was ill After protestations teares And who vowes a constant life Crownes a meritorious wife When