thy self is infinitely better Than if Love made a world of worlds its debter Thy own Perfections by Attraction move As the chief formal Object of Man's Love Though our own Good we may and must intend Thy simple Goodness is Man's chiefest End They that deny this never knew Love's force Which to meer Excellence hath its recourse Or never well considered Love's End Which unto Good for Goodness sake doth tend To be Man's End is but to be most Lov'd And Good 's the Loadstone by which Love is mov'd What though to Thee the creature nothing add That proves Thee perfect neither weak nor bad And therefore fit to be the Final Cause Which all hearts by attractive Goodness draws Love is the Final and Enjoying act Closing with Thee by thy Magnetick tract Not as it mourneth for the Good we want Nor as it after distant Good doth pant 〈…〉 as it reacheth its desires And more as it with Pleasure Thee admires This Love besides its Object hath no End It doth not to some Higher Virtue tend But from a seed grows up to higher stature Of Divine Complacence which is its nature All other Grace is but the means to it They draw the bow but Love the mark doth hit But sinners lost in SELF rise not above The lower Region of their own SELF-LOVE Experience assures me that I can Love a most learned wise and holy man Unseen my very heart is to him knit Without respect to any benefit Reason convinceth me that I should erre If the known BEST my Love should not prefer Should I not rather chuse my self alone To be annihilated or undone Than the whole world should bear the same distress Or Towns or Countries seeing I am less Or the Creator should take down the Sun Destroy the Earth or Rivers cease to run Reason taught Heathens that their Country's good Was worth the shedding of their vital blood A faithful Subject thinks his Life a thing Meet to be cast away to save his King True Souldiers would chuse death if so they may But save their Captains lives or win the day Many have chose to dye through love of friends Preferring them above all selfish Ends. It is not Reason but blind selfish Passion If One refuse to dye to save a Nation A silly useless Wretch should not refuse His Death before a useful mans to chuse My Neighbour as my self I must respect And for my Brethren must my Life reject 1 Joh. 3. 16. O doleful proof of Man's unhappy fall That loves not GOD above Himself and All And if I love him most He is my End Man's Love above the Lover must ascend But O how wisely hast thou made the twist To Love Thee and My Self do well consist Love is the closure of Connaturals The Soul's return to its Originals As every Brook is towards the Ocean bent And all things to their proper Element And as the inclination of the Sight How small soever is unto the Light As the toucht Needle pointeth towards the Pole Thus unto Thee inclines the Holy Soul It trembleth and is restless till it come Unto thy Bosom where it is at home Yet no such Union dare the Soul desire As Parts have with the Whole and sparks to fire But as dependant low subordinate Such as thy Will of nothing did create As tendeth to the Sun the smallest Eye Of silly vermine or the poorest Flie. My own Salvation when I make my End Full Mutual Love is all that I intend And in this closure though I happy be It 's by Intending and Admiring Thee O happy Grace which feeds above the Skies And causest Man above Himself to rise And saves what it denys when worldlings lose What they despis'd and what they lov'd and chose The more I do my self in Love neglect And only to thy Goodness have respect When most my self I from my self abstract This is the sweetest and self-pleasing act Even when I seem to leave my self behind Coming to Thee with Thee my self I find When I am least the Object of my Love And unto Thee do most entirely move My Soul the willing Agent drawn by Grace Will Rest in Love and Vision of thy Face But in this wilderness and vale of Tears How is Love dampt by ignorance and fears For no Man's Love his knowledge can exceed And guilty Terrours disaffection breed Mortals can know thee but as in a glass True formal Knowledge doth man's mind surpass No Thoughts or Names are adequate to Thee They are but Metaphors from what we see Which first thy Works and Image signifie And thence to Thee mens rising Minds apply As far as Faith comes short of perfect Sight And this dark Prison of the Glorious Light So far this distant mediate Love 's below The heavenly Love which mortals cannot know What will it be to love Thee face to face When thou appear'st so lovely in this Glass Thy Goodness is not to that world confin'd To worthless sinful mortals thou art kind Thy mercies to the smallest are not small To some more wonderful but great to all Thy matchless Power doth it self express Upon the smallest Worm or pile of Grass The Methods of thy Wisdom are profound All must admire the depths which none can sound When Man from Holy Love turn'd to a Lye Thy Image lost became thine Enemy O what a Seal did Love and Wisdom find To reimprint thine Image on Man's Mind Thou sentst the Signet from thine own right hand Made man for them that had themselves unman'd Th' Eternal Son who in thy bosom dwelt Essential burning Love mens hearts to melt Thy lively Image he that knew thy mind Fit to illuminate and heal the blind With Love's great Office thou didst him adorn Redeemer of the helpless and forlorn On Love's chief work and message he was sent Our Flesh he took our pain he underwent Thy pardoning saving Love to Man did preach The Reconciler stood up in the breach The uncreated Image of thy Love By his Assumption and the Holy Dove On his Own Flesh thy Image first imprest And by that stamp renews it on the rest Love was his Nature Doctrine Life and Breath Love flamed in his Sufferings and Death Thus Love thine Image Love on Man doth print This Coin thy Son thy Word and Spirit mint He that will have it True must have it here Though Love prepare its way by Grief and Fear Yea oft by these expresseth its Desire They are sincere when kindled by its fire These are LOVE's Methods passing tongue pen Wonders and Joys to Angels and to Men. The Second Part. LOVE which can make its Object did produce This Worm in season for his proper use In the Earth's Garden the most happy Land Where Christians dwel Christian Kings command Where plenteous streams of living waters flow Where the first-fruits of Paradise do grow Whence Proud Dark Bloody Popery was driven To whom the opened Book of God was given Where sacred guides and books
first appearing of the Day The dawning Light which comes before the Sun As he that to Christ's Scpulchre first run Excites the LOV'D Disciple to do better The certain news of Life comes by the later Fear is Love's Harbinger It is the womb Where Love doth breed till time of ripeness come No wonder if it be not seen till then The Seed and Embrio are hid from men Though Thou com'st in by Love Fear draws the latch Fear makes the motion tho Love makes the match Fear is the soil that cherisheth the feed The Nursery in which Heav'ns Plants do breed God first in Nature finds Self-Love and there He takes advantage to implant his Fear With some the time is long before the Earth Disclose her young one by a springy Birth When Heav'n doth make our Winter sharp long The seed of Love lies hid or seems but young But when God makes it Spring-time his approach Takes from the barren Soul its great reproach When Heav'ns reviving Smiles and Raies appear Then Love begins to spring up above Fear And if sin hinder not by cursed shade It quickly shoots up to a youthful blade And when Heav'ns warmer beams dews succeed That 's ripened fruit which even now was but seed Yet doth not flowring fruitful Love forget Her Nursing Fear there still her Root is set In Humble Self-denyal under-trod While Flower and Fruit are growing up to God After Love's Birth-Day holy Fear and Care The outward Part of the New-creature are As mortal man consists of Flesh and Soul So Fear and Love on Earth do make one Whole Love as the Soul unseen yet bears the sway Fear as the Flesh more felt must it obey By Fear Love doth the daring Flesh restrain And keepeth men awake by threatned pain This frame is mortal Not that Love can dye But leaving Fears will dwell alone on high Yet will retain a Reverent Fear of God But not the terrour of his Wrath or Rod. O my Dear God! how precious is thy Love How wise thy Methods to the Life above Thou first appear'dst in Lightning as to Paul My heat abated at thy feet I fall The voice with which thy Call thou didst begin Was to convince me and reprove my sin I first enquired of thee who thou art And then what duty thou hadst made my part Thus Fear and Care began but the sweet Name Of Jesus did reviving Hope proclaim And though long time it scarcely did appear Yet sure some hidden spark of Love was there I lov'd thy Holy Word Good Books were sweet Those that did with my own condition meet Heart-searching Ministers were my delight ☞ Those that did most my drowsie Soul excite I dearly loved all in whom I saw A Love to Thee and Care to keep thy Law The speech and sight of Holy men was sweet I honour'd them and could have kist their feet I felt their living words go to the quick When common idle prating made me sick I dearly lov'd my serious bosom friend Who did in Love my failings reprehend That could my doubting troubled mind condole And help to keep awake my sleepy Soul Who could unfold the Mysteries of Grace And speak particularly to my case Sweetly disclosing his experience Extolling Mercy from his own deep sense One that had been instructed by the Rod And boiled over in the Praise of God Who early and oft in the night would rise To offer Thee a Thankful Sacrifice Who warm'd me with his Zeal when I was cold And my remissness lovingly controul'd Who stirr'd me up and taught me how to pray And friendly watcht and warn'd me every day And yet his Piety did not exceed His Charity to those that were in need For such a friend I had though after all Himself became my warning by his fall As more than One or Two have done since then Shewing when Grace withdraws we are but Men. O my Dear God! how precious is thy Love These are the seeds what are the fruits above Yet did I scarce discern that it was Thee Whom in the Glass my pleased Mind did see But though thine Image more incur my sense I love it for the pourtrayd excellence It 's not because the Workmanship is fine But Good and Holy and because it 's Thine I better know the Map that 's in my hand But yet by it I better Love the Land Sure when I lov'd thy Books and every letter I lov'd the Sense and End and Author better He loveth Wisdom sure who loves the Wise It 's like he loves the Light who loves his Eyes If one in Prison had his life begun Where he had never seen the shining Sun Yet if he dearly love the Candle-light He 'd urely love the Sun which is more bright Or if the Sun had alwaies clouded been And men its scattered Light alone had seen â—'s true our Thoughts and Love of that we see Would more exact and satisfying be But to the unseen Cause as it is Better Our Love of Estimation would be Greater And even a Knowledge general and dark Would be the Chooser of our End and Mark. That Love 's most sensible which Sense doth breed But that Commands which Faith and Reason feed The Country than the Map I must confess ☞ â—s much less known but is not known as less A Creat and Certain Object should do more Though darkly known than trifles at my door An Unseen Kingdom would with men prevail To leave their Native place and hoise up sail And venture over stormy boisterous Seas which shews that great things tho unseen most please No wonder if the Knowledge be most clear Or little things which to the sense are near These narrow parcels we can comprehend When unseen Greatness doth the mind transcend But yet This moves the Wheels and is the Spring Before the nearest sight of some small thing That is most Loved which I make my End To which my great designs and actions tend For which I can all other Treasure spend Although I do it darkly apprehend O my Dear God! how precious is thy Love Unveiled fully to thy Saints above As fire first kindleth on the nearest Wood My sense thus fixed on the nearest good And where sense fixed there with greatest sense The mind did exercise its Complacence It seem'd more cold to that which distant was Yet still looks further as I forward pass And towards my End the nearer Heav'n I go My Love abstracteth more from things below Love seemeth to get ground and Fear decaies Doubting Grief give place to Thanks Praisâ— And tho Fear wrought with greatest sense before And was in bulk and violence much more Yet the least spark of Love which is sincere Will save the Soul tho mixt with greater Fear Who loves God somewhat the world above him Loving not God as God he doth not love him Love must be so far tryed by the measure That God be Lov'd above all earthly Treasure But that suppos'd the least
more advantage here than danger find Thy Soil is oft manured by such dung I 'le Honour give to whom it doth belong It may be safe to others but to me 'T was best from such Temptations to be free Let my preferment lye in serving all While I sit low I have not far to fall Keep me from the Temptations of the Devil For so thou dost deliver us from Evil. My youthful Pride and Folly now I see That grudg'd for want of Titles and Degree That blush'd with shame when this defect was known And an inglorious Name could hardly own Attempting to have hid it twice or thrice With vile equivocations next to lies And to thy Methods was unreconcil'd Because I was not Rabbi Doctor styl'd Forgive this Pride and break the Serpent's brain Pluck up the poisonous Root till none remain Give me the Wisdom I 'le not beg the Fame Grant me the thing let others take the name Give me the Learning and it is no harm If thou shalt place me in the lowest Form Honours are shadows which from seekers fly But follow after those who them deny I brought none with me to thy work but there I found more than I easily could bear Although thou wouldst not give me what I would Thou gavest me the promis'd hundred-fold O my Dear God! how precious is thy Love Thy wayes not ours lead to the Joyes above The Third Part. THE wondrous Mercy of my bounteous Lord which sent me forth to Preach his sacred Word Prepar'd my way and call'd me to the place Where I must first proclaim his Saving Grace All things thou suitedst fitly to my need Giving me freedom season ground and seed Poor thirsty Souls attend with greedy Ear Crowding in multitudes thy Word to hear Thy Mercy opening so wide a door Gave some first-fruits betimes and hopes of more The various places where my Lot did fall Were all appointed to me by thy Call I never was to any of them brought By the Direction of my own forethought Much less was ever any by me sought And least of all by price or bargain bought I nere found cause of one place to repent Although my sins in all I must lament None were foreseen yet after seen to reason To be the fittest for the work and season But among all none did so much abound With fruitful mercies as that barren ground Where I did make my best and longest stay And bore the heat and burden of the day Mercies grew thicker there than Summer flowers They over-numbered my daies and hours There was my dearest Flock and special Charge Our hearts in mutual love thou didst enlarge 'T was there that mercy did my Labours bless With the most great and wonderful success Yet there were Sons of Belial whose rage Reason with Truth and Love could not asswage Who Lov'd and Hated just as Satan bid them Rul'd by the Reins of Lust by him that rid them In swinish drunkenness they drownd their wits Most furious in their rude tumultuous fits As Boars or Stags at other times more tame When lustful heats their blood and brains inflame Fiercely assault such as stand in their way None 's safe before them till their heats decay So doth the love of revellings and sport Poor brutish fleshly sinners so transport That ragingly they fly in that man's face Who doth by sacred Truth their sin disgrace And as in Armies Drums and Trumpets sound The frightful cries of wounded men to drownd And even the fearful in the furious crowd Are carry'd on to death through streams of blood So those ensnared Youths who formerly Out of the Rout retain'd some modesty Conjoyned with the Rabble did as they The common fury and their lusts obey Run with the Herd Mirth and the Rables noise Drown Reasons Plea and God's reclaiming voice Death is forgot Conscience cannot be heard Hell and Damnation now are little fear'd They have their curse their own sentence pass Away with Jesus give us Barr abas Away with Preachers who disturb our game Talk not of Judgment Let us bear the blame Whilst grieved Preachers can but wish groan O that your day of mercy you had known O my Dear God! how precious is they Love Which looks on such with pity from above Now England's horrid Civil Wars began When God a sinful Nation meant to fan When sin grown high bold out-fac'd the Light When Pride and Faction pleaded Divine Right When most their Love some their Patience lost When proud malicious men must not be crost When wise men seemed fools fools seem'd wise And when the worst were best in their own eyes When Piety with Lazarus was loath'd And Sin with Purple and fine Linnen cloath'd And when the sacred Tribe despising Souls Through love of wealth honor blow'd the coals When Demas for the World deserted Paul And their own matters were first sought by all When they that sought their good things in this life Had banisht Love fill'd the Church with strife Where striving factions Charity defy'd And carnal Counsels did the Church divide When swinish Gadarens did Christ refuse And the prophane his servants did abuse When Holiness the common Foe was deem'd And nothing more intollerable seem'd When holy Truth and Preachers were despis'd And wicked means to cast them out devis'd When sin presum'd to make a mock of grace And folly spit reproaches in Christ's face When vulgar rage had found this common vent And impious scorn on Godliness was spent When sin was not so much oppos'd as God Then were we ready for the bloody Rod. When those sins reign'd that must not now be nam'd But by Heav'ns Justice shall at last be sham'd When old condemned vanities and crimes Became the Reverend Virtues of the Times Then God in Judgment sate to plead his Cause And judge the proud despisers of his Laws Banish'd Love doth feaster'd hearts forsake Blindness suspicions wrath possession take Each man unto the fire his Fagot brought And each against another quarrels sought The whirlwind in the North did first arise And raise the dust which troubled English Eyes And though Heav'ns mercy there prevented blood The Irish fury shed a crimson flood The French blood shew'd the temper of the Nation Their Faith and Faithlesness keep Moderation Their Bartholomews hot dog-daies thirst had cost Thirty or forty thousand lives at most But Ireland's Romish Zeal was hotter far And in their preparation to a War Two hundred thousand they surpriz'd and slew Not that their Will so small a measure knew But here God checkt their Power heard the cries Of dying Innocents which pierc'd the Skies England affrighted by her neighbours harm Threatned to be the next takes the Allarm As Citizens that see a raging flame Threaten the Neighhours houses with the same Do leave their Trades and all together run Trying to quench the Fire where it begun And then pull down the houses which adjoyn Some seek to
Thy holy Laws and things unseemly speak And lest the Tempter should advantage take The heav'n-built structure of my Hopes to shake Lest I be drawn with Job to curse the day In which my Soul was marryed to Clay Lest this rash tongue thy precious Loves deny And in distress should call thee Enemy Break not the heart on which thou wrot'st thy Name Lest those blest Letters perish with the frame Thy Word commands us alwaies to rejoice Fain I would do it but thou stop'st my voice Can I rejoyce when as thine angry Dart Is piercing night and day my wounded heart Can I rejoyce and bleed Rejoyce and die Can I rejoyce when thou dost Joy deny Can I mix night and day or death and life Or heat and cold or quietness and strife Or twist the highest joy with deepest sorrow Dwelling near Hell to day Heaven to morrow Will joyes agree with heavy sighs and groans And sweetest comforts dwell with broken bones When I would rise and sing thy Love's renown Then comes another wave and strikes me down Brimstone and flames methinks upon me rain As if I were adjudg'd to Sodom's pain O my Dear God! why dost thou me forsake And all my bones and heart in pieces shake I took thee for my only Life and Joy O do not now this trembling Soul destroy The Answer WEak Child why dost thou make all this ado Dost thou remember whom thou speakest to Dost thou consider what thy passion saith Is this the language of a stable Faith Is this thy Patience and thy Self-denyal Wilt thou thus shrink shake in time of tryal May I not with my own do what I list And use my creature as to me seems best Am I not wise enough to use the Rod Wilt thou prefer thy self before thy God Who 's fittest to be Ruler thou or I Whose Wisdom's best and whose Fidelity When prov'd I false unto thee or unkind When didst thou seek aright and didst not find Look homeward Man there dwells thine Enemy It is thy Self and Sin It is not l. The thing thou should'st complain of is within Turn all thy charge against thy Self and Sin Sin is so bad that it can do no better God cannot fail thee and remain thy debter Such intimations should not pass thy tongue As if the Righteous God could do thee wrong Were Conscience but as tender as thy flesh And Sin as grievous to thee as the lash Hadst thou but lived as beseems a Saint I might have spar'd my Rod and thou thy Plaint Canst thou suspect I am against thy good When I have prov'd my Love by streams of blood Have I not lov'd thee from Eternity And caus'd my only Son for thee to die Have I not call'd thee from a life of sin When thousands round about thee live therein Remember how I us'd thee at the first When in thy blood I found thee at the worst Who gave thee notice of thy sinful state Wakening thy Soul before it was too late Who did convince thee of the worldlings folly And shew thee that it 's better to be holy Who sav'd thee from the world's deceits and lies And wean'd thee from thy former vanities Who taught thee to bewail thy heavy load And made thee long to know and love thy God If thou art willing that I should be thine It is because at first I call'd thee Mine I offered Christ I made thee to consent And in the terms of grace to rest content When thou wast ignorant who did thee teach And made thee long a higher state to reach Who made thee love and chuse the scorned way And cleave to Christ whatever flesh could say Who made thee pray and who thy prayer heard And sav'd thee from the Plagues thy Conscience fear'd Who made thy sinful heart long to be better Art thou not for all this to me a debter That thou dost miss me and my pleased face That thou dost mourn groan is from my grace Freely I did forgive thee what was past And all thy deadly sins behind me cast And yet must I be taken for thy Foe And all these accusations undergo After all this canst thou my love suspect And all my comforts peevishly reject Dar'st thou deny my Love and Grace as none Because that all the work is not yet done Who wrought that grace whose should the honour be While thou condemn'st thy self thou wrongest me Watch and reform and cheerfully obey For what thou wantest wait and strive and pray Thy Love and cheerful duty I require It 's not thy self-tormenting I desire Humbly look back remember what thou wast Be not unthankful for the grace thou hast Deny it not but wait at mercy's door Thankfulness is the way to get thee more If thou art weak look upto Christ thy strength He 'l perfect what he hath begun at length Is not his grace sufficient for thee still He 'l give the rest that freely gave the Will If thou stand still or loyter in thy Race And if my Spur do bid thee mend thy pace Let not the smart make thee lie down and whine And at the needful quickening Rod repine But Up Repent cheerfully do thy best The day 's at hand when thou shalt have the Rest The Submission FAther forgive my passion and rash words Yet I 'le be thine I 'le own no other Lords Seeing thou wilt accept so frail a Worm That can without thee no good thing perform Still I 'le be thine and stand to what I said When I my Covenant and Resignment made I 'le rather groan within and suffer more Than laugh with them that stand without thy door O let thy Will attract and perfect mine Hereafter not My Will be done but Thine And let the roughest way seem fair and eaven That hath thy presence and doth lead to Heaven And as thou bidst me Evermore Rejoyce Give me a joyful heart and praising voice Suffer not sin to soil thy grace and me But make me such as thou wouldst have me be Let streams of Love flow from thy open breast And let me wait and long to feel the REST. 12. The Return To the Tune of Pas Mes Galliard OR The common Psalm Tunes 1. WHO was it that I left behind When I went last from home That now I all disorder'd find When to my self I come 2. I thought I had the door fast lockt When I went last away And long might strangers there have knockt If none had found my Key 3. When I was here the fire did burn That now is almost out Half dead with cold I sit and mourn Perplext with many a doubt 4. I left it light but now all 's dark And I am fain to grope Were it not for one little spark I should be out of hope 5. The Rooms I carefully did sweep But now I find all foul Serpents do crawl and Vermine creep In my polluted Soul 6. My Gospel-Book I open left Where I the Promise saw But
and helps abound And all that will may hear the joyful sound My Parents here thy skilful hand did plant Free from the snares of Riches and of Want Their tender care was us'd for me alone Because thy providence gave them but One Their early Precepts so possest my heart That taking root they did not thence depart Thy Wisdom so contriv'd my Education As might expose me to the least temptation Much of that guilt thy Mercy did prevent In which my spring-time I should else have spent Yet Sin sprung up and early did appear â—n love of play and lyes produc'd by fear An appetite pleas'd with forbidden fruit A proud delight in literate repute Excess of pleasure in vain Tales Romances Time spent in feigned Histories and Fancies In idle talk conform to company Childhood and Youth had too much vanity Conscience was oft resisted when it checkt And holy duty I did much neglect Yet patience bore thy Spirit still did strive Restless Convictions still were kept alive Thou wouldst not give me over till thy Grace Reviv'd thy Image which sin did deface Thou strangely putst such Books into my hand As caused me my case to understand As toucht my conscience wakened my heart And laid it under careful fears and sinart And made me question with a deeper sense Whither my soul must go when it goes hence Then did thy Light detect the vanity Of all the Joys and Hopes below the Sky The fruitless bussle which the Worldling makes The madness of the course the Sinner takes The wicked world I thought a Bedlam was And sensless Sinners hearts were stone or brass I wondred men could live so carelesly Ready to pass into Eternity And O how easily could I confute All that against a holy life dispute I wondred at my self that staid so long So little toucht with Arguments so strong Laughing and playing as if all were well For ought I knew near to the brink of Hell I marvell'd at my former senslesness My sin and misery I did confess And now what horrid darkness on my mind Never before lamented did I find Sin was like sickness in my flesh and bone Which only by the Book before was known Christ's Office now I better understood The need my Soul had of his cleansing Blood How insufficient of my self I was To bring my own deliverance to pass Now I began to feel as well as see How near the Word of Grace concerned me That all means else in Heaven and Earth were vain My Peace with God and pardon to obtain To whom else should my sinful Soul have gone But for my Saviour I had been undone Oh my dear God! how precious is thy Love Thus thou prepar'st us for the Life above The heav'nly Powers which made my heart to quake My Prison bonds and doors did open shake Sin now was folly villany and shame God Heav'n Christ Holiness seem not the same How thou wouldst use me yet I did not know Whether my sin thou wouldst forgive or no But well I saw there was no turning back Nature is loth to go to Hell awake Thy Gospel told me I might mercy find Nothing but Hell and Darkness was behind At last thy Grace brought me to this conclusion To HOPE and SEEK I fixt my resolution O my dear God! How precious is thy Love Thy Griefs prepare us for the Joys above Yet these my wounds and smart were not so great As many's who sate long in scorners seat Nor did the change so suddenly begin As to make known when special Grace came in In my young years thou hadst convinc'd my Soul Conscience did childish vanity controul I lik'd thy waies as best I honour'd those That Folly shun'd and Holy Wisdom chose Thou hadst prevented Oaths and horrid crimes And the enormous vices of the times Preserving me from youthful lusts and rage The thoughts of Thee increasing with my Age. This greatest Change began when I was green Having not much above three lustres seen Therefore I doubted whether it were true Because its entrance I no better knew Long was I sadly questioning thy Grace Because thy Spirits steps I could not trace The difference is so great 'twixt Heav'n and Hell That those must differ much who there must dwell I fear'd the change which rais'd my soul no higher Would not suffice to save me from Hell fire But above all I thought so Hard a heart Could not among the living have a part I thought thy Son would never heal my sore Unless my tears and sorrow had been more I wonder'd at my great stupidity That could not weep when I deserv'd to dye I wonder'd things so great as Heav'n and Hell Did on my heart with no more feeling dwell That words which such amazing things import Did not sink deeper and my soul transport That things of Everlasting consequence Did not affect me with a deeper sense And that a soul so near its final doom Could give these worldly trifles any room That on these shadows I could cast an eye While Death Judgment Heav'n Hell stood by I wonder'd when my odious sin was nam'd I was no more confounded and asham'd Many a time I beg'd a tender heart And never pray'd so much for joy as smart I could have kiss'd the place where I did kneel If what my tongue had spoke my heart could feel These were my cryes when I to Thee did speak O that this heart of stone might melt or break These were my groans this was my daily breath â— save me from Hard-heartedness and Death This was the title which I us'd to take Sensless Hard-hearted wretch that cannot wake But as thy Wisdom gives in fittest measure Not all at once It 's meet we wait thy leisure â— thought that things unseen should pierce and melt With as great Passion as things seen and felt But now I find it is their proper part To be most valu'd to be next the Heart To be the highest Interest of the soul There to command and all things else controul Thus must the little spark of fire be blown Or else it will not flame nor scarce be known New-lighted Candles darkened by the snuff Are ready to go out with every puff So it was long before the heav'nly spark Conquered my snuff and shined in the dark My feeble new-born soul began with crying My Infant-life did seem to be still dying Betwixt supporting Hope and sinking Fears My doubting soul did languish many years O my dear God! how precious is thy Love Thy troubling Motions tend to Rest above Thus GRACE like NATURE entereth in a seed Which with man's labour heav'nly dews must feed Whose Virtue and first Motions no eye sees But after comes to ripeness by degrees Our Father 's tender Love doth much appear When he with useless crying Babes can bear When we the Houshold's grief and trouble are He shews the more his patient nursing care At first I wisht that I could pray and weep Thus when I could
Prison I must dwell May I not there converse with thee Save me from sin thy wrath and Hell Call me thy Child and I am free No walls or bars can keep thee out None can confine a holy Soul The Streets of Heav'n it walks about None can its Liberty controul Alas my darkened mind is chain'd To Earth and Flesh through unbelief It looks and longs by distance pain'd When wilt thou hear and send relief O loose these Chains of Sin and Flesh Enlarge my heart in thy Commands Could I but love thee as I wish How light would be all other bands 7. Must I feel Sicknesses and smart And spend my daies and nights in pain Yet if thy Love refresh my heart I need not overmuch complain This Flesh hath drawn my Soul to sin If it must smart Thy Will be done O fill me with thy Joyes within And then I 'll let it grieve alone Then to its sufferings I 'll consent To be avenged on my Foe That pain may help me to repent And sin may be consum'd by woe Pain will be short Joyes will be long Yet Lord remember man is weak Drop in thy Cordials make me strong Lest heart and hope with Flesh should break 8. I know my Flesh must turn to dust My parted Soul must come to thee And undergo thy Judgment just And in the endless world must be In this there 's most of Fear and Joy Because there 's most of Sin and Grace Sin will this mortal frame destroy But Christ will bring me to thy face Here 's Faith 's great Tryal Pain may force And Pride may willingness pretend A stupid Fool die like his Horse And Heathens make a Beast-like end Frail sinful Flesh is loth to die Sense to the unseen world is strange The doubting Soul dreads the Most High And trembleth at so great a change Yet Faith can see beyond the Skies Where now our Head in Glory is And above Flesh and Sense can rise Unto the World of Saints in bliss Cleansing the Soul from Flesh and Sin Abstracting it from things below It draws the Veil and entering in Love's glorious Mysteries can know Put forth thy Beams and Hand of Grace Open mine Eyes Take up my Heart Acquaint it with the Holy Place The Joyes and Glory where thou art O let me not be strange at home Strange to the Sun and Life of Souls Choosing this low and darkened Room Familiar with Worms and Moles Shall I be strange unto my Head The World of Knowledge Love and Joyes Conversing here among the Dead And taken up with Dreams and Toyes And strange to Angels who attend On Man and in his good delight And though unseen do us defend Ministring for us day and night Am I the first that go this way How many Saints are gone before How many enter every day Into thy Kingdom by this door Christ was once dead and in a Grave Yet conquer'd Death and rose again And by this Method he will save His Servants that with him shall Reign Shall I draw back and fear the End Of all my Sorrows Tears and Pain To which my Life and Labours tend Without which all had been in vain Can I for ever be content Without true Happiness and Rest Is Earth become so excellent That I should take it for my best Or can I think of finding here That which my Soul so long hath sought Should I refuse those Joyes through fear Which bounteous Love so dearly bought All that doth tast of Heav'n is good When Heavenly Light doth me inform When Heavenly Life stirs in my Blood When Heavenly Love my Heart doth warm No wonder if Time's womb be streight And Souls through pain and strangeness go Into the glorious World of Light Which Death translateth them unto This strangeness will be quickly over When once the Heaven-born Soul is there One sight of God will it recover From all this backwardness and fear To us Christ's lowest parts his feet Union and Faith must yet suffice To guide and comfort us It 's meet We trust our Head who hath our Eyes Christ seeth all that I would see The Way and End to Him are known He hath prepar'd the Place for me He 'l Love and Use me as his Own How many guiltless creatures die To be a feast or food for me Who love their Lives as well as I And hath not God more right to me Must I be priviledg'd alone Or no man Die until he please And God deposed from his Throne And humane generation cease Though all these Reasons I can see Why I should willingly submit And comfortably come to thee My God thou must accomplish it The Love which fill'd up all my daies Will not forsake me to the end This broken Body thou wilt raise My Spirit I to thee commend Decemb. 3. 1663. 4. Divine Love's Rest Written on Herbet's Poems THe amorous Needle knows no other REST But at its dear attractive Loadstone's breast Though lying dead before the Potent touch Its Object and Affection were not such The Oily Body married to a Spark Which some cold Flint had lockt up in the dark By the unseen Hot Soul is made so bright As if in it that Soul appear'd to sight Which in revenge for its restraint and toil Still working up wards wasts the loving Oil Having a higher Love is not content Until it reach its proper Element Thus Heav'n-born Souls but lately dead in sin By Faith and Love the heavenly Life begin And daily mounting upwards take their flight From Flesh and Earth unto the World of Light Where Darkness Sin or Grief shall never enter Where all the Saints are one in God their Center Where Love reveals it self with open face Ravishing Souls prepar'd by Saving Grace Love is their Kingdom it 's a world of Love Which they were hatcht for by the holy Dove Here he is kindling the coelestial fire Which knows its rise and doth to God aspire God who is all shall there have all my store And yet my Friends have not the less but more Love is now panting groaning in my breast Love will be then my Soul 's Eternal Feast Love now salutes us in the Gospel story But then Eternal Love will be our Glory Up then my Soul and swiftly Heavenward tend Where Love shall have no check no bounds no end 5. On David's Psalms MY God! since first thy Love this heart did touch It saith I cannot love my God too much It looketh up and panteth for that Grace Which may exalt it and unveil thy face Darkness and Distance are its grievous Chains Sad doubts and fears do feed its griping pains It sighs and wonders thou canst be so strange Where thou hast freely made so great a change Long it hath search't in hope to find the Art To raise and warm a dull and heavy Heart And now I find it practised by One That now is praising thee before thy Throne Here are the sacred words Here 's David's Lyre But
Come Lord when Grace hath made me meet Thy blessed Face to see For if thy work on Earth be sweet What will thy Glory be 8. Then I shall end my sad complaints And weary sinful daies And joyn with the triumphant Saints That sing Jehovah's Praise My Knowledge of that Life is small The Eye of Faith is dim But it 's enough that Christ knows all And I shall be with him This Covenant my Dear Wife in her former Sickness subscribed with a cheerful will Joh. 12. 26. 10. A Psalm of Praise To the Tune of the 148 Psalm 1. YE holy Angels bright Which stand before God's Throne And dwell in glorious Light Praise ye the Lord each one You there so nigh Are much more meet Than we the feet For things so high 2. You blessed Souls at Rest That see your Saviour's face Whose Glory even the least Is far above our Grace God's Praises sound As in his sight With sweet delight You do abound 3. All Nations of the Earth Extol the World's Great King With Melody and Mirth His glorious Praises sing For he still reigns And will bring low The proudest Foe That him disdains 4. Sing forth Jehovah's Praise Ye Saints that on him call Magnifie him alwaies His holy Churches all In him rejoyce And there proclaim His Holy Name With sounding voice 5. My Soul bear thou thy part Triumph in God above With a well-tuned heart Sing thou the Songs of Love Thou art his own Whose precious Blood Shed for thy good His Love made known 6. He did in Loves begin Renewing thee by Grace Forgiving all thy sin Shew'd thee his pleased face He did thee heal By his Son's Merit And by his Spirit For Glory Seal 7. In saddest thoughts and grief In sickness fears and pain I cry'd for his relief And it was not in vain He heard with speed And still I found Mercy abound In time of need 8. Let not his Praises grow On prosperous heights alone But in the Vales below Let his great Love be known Let no distress Curb and controul My winged Soul And praise suppress 9. Let not the fear or smart Of his chastizing Rod Take off my fervent heart From praising my Dear God What ere I feel Still let me bring This Offering And to him kneel 10. Though I lose friends and wealth And bear reproach and shame Though I lose ease and health Still let me praise God's Name That fear and pain Which would destroy My Thanks and Joy Do thou restrain 11. Though humane help depart And flesh draw near to dust Let Faith keep up my heart To love God true and just And all my daies Let no disease Cause me to cease His joyful Praise 12. Though sin would make me doubt And fill my Soul with fears Though God seem to shut out My daily cries and tears By no such frost Of sad delayes Let thy sweet Praise Be nipt and lost 13. Away distrustful care I have thy Promise Lord. To banish all Despair I have thy Oath and Word And therefore I Shall see thy face And there thy grace Shall magnifie 14. Though Sin and Death conspire To rob thee of thy Praise Still towards thee I 'll aspire And thou dull hearts canst raise Open thy Door And when grim Death Shall stop this Breath I 'll praise thee more 15. With thy Triumphant Flock Then I shall numbered be Built on th' Eternal Rock His Glory we shall see The Heav'ns so high With Praise shall ring And all shall sing In Harmony 16. The Sun is but a Spark From the Eternal Light It s brightest beams are dark To that most glorious sight There the whole Chore With one accord Shall praise the Lord For evermore 11. The Complaint WHat mean impatient men to call it Pain That do the creatures wrath alone sustain But alas how much greater is my woe That must God's sharp displeasure undergo If a Worm's fury seemeth hard to bear Who dare before an angry God appear I thought my God had blotted out my sin And it no more remembred should have bin And wilt thou now call up what 's past and gone And charge upon me all that I have done Why then where is my Saviour ' where 's his blood Shall not thy Promises be all made good Where are thy tender bowels where 's that grace That shew'd me once thy reconciled face Dost thou repent or can God changed be O no! it 's I that falsly turn'd from thee Yet be not angry with me O my God! If thy Child cry and plead against the Rod Not daring to accuse thy narrow path But humbly bold to deprecate thy wrath Is it thy pleasure to behold my grief When thou canst with a word send full relief Dost thou delight to see me drencht in tears And overwhelm'd with doubts and horrid fears Wilt thou stand by and see my Soul thus sink While wasting flesh doth stand at the pits brink Shall grief and sickness leave but skin and bones And shall I know no breath but sighs and groans Have I no passions left but griefs and fears Are groans the only musick for thine ears And have I sense only to feel my woe And reason only misery to know And wilt thou suffer sinful unbelief To banish Joy and keep out all Relief How can that gracious Lord my woe desire That did so much to save me from the fire How can that Saviour be against my good That dy'd in love and washt me by his blood Can the same voice now pass so sad a doom That from my sin so lately call'd me home Wilt thou now frown me down to fears death That lately gav'st me a new life and breath Or can that hand that snatcht me from the flame Tear me and cast me back into the same Pity my God this sinking trembling Soul And let the hand that wounds me make me whole Friends would but cannot all their help is vain But thou canst quickly give me joy for pain What can friends do but make my grief their own And will not give me leave to die alone They can but add their fruitless tears and moans To joyn in a sad consort with my groans Their pity doth but make my wounds more deep While in compassion they stand by and weep Through me thou woundest them my pains are theirs And every tender friend a portion bears They can but pray for that which thou must give They strive in vain if thou wilt not relieve O spare me Lord and press me not too low Lest I should pievish and impatient grow Lest I should have unworthy thoughts of thee Forgetting what thy Love hath done for me Lest blind distrust get ground against my faith And I grow mindless what thy Promise saith Lest griefs consume the soul which thou hast made And lest thy Praises with my Comforts fade Lest I thine antient Loves no more rehearse But all my Thanks as a mistake reverse And lest unruly grief should make me break
Love but slavish fear All my Religion is but from Self-love I find no pleasure in the things above Jesus Natural Love of Self is the foundation Which Grace builds on and useth for Salvation He that loves not himself loves not another It 's as thy Self that thou must love thy Brother Thy own Salvation is the lawful end Which Grace and Nature bind thee to intend Why was I made man but for man's Salvation I suffer'd Death to hinder thy Damnation These are the ends for which thou must believe Life through a Saviour's that thou must receive â—t's Carnal Self that wicked men do love The Lawful Love of Self they 'l not improve They all prefer sin's pleasure for a season Their fleshly appetite doth rule their Reason Me and my healing Grace they will not have They 'l not endure that Mercy should them save They hate the Light that would their sin display And would direct them in the holy way Though they fear Hell they alwaies fear much more The loss of honour pleasure health or store No fear of Hell will take their Idol down And make them seek first the Eternal Crown The Fear of God is Wisdom's true beginning It calls to Duty and preserves from sinning God must be fear'd as one that can destroy The Soul and shut it out of endless Joy The Fear of God's the Just man's Character They fear not God indeed that wished are God would be fear'd as a consuming fire This is no sin but what he doth require Love may lie hidden as a covered seed When Fear in troubling Passion doth exceed If angry Parents make the Child afraid He feels not Love till Passion be allaid Excessive Fear may hinder active Love And yet the 〈…〉 not 〈◊〉 When God's rebukes and frowns the Soul affright It may dispose his Children unto flight Where Love is true some Hatred may arise When terrours and despair the Soul surprise A loving Child will not his Father own When through mistake or distance he 's unknown The pleasing part of Love cannot appear Under prevailing Grief and too much Fear Until the Soul be calm'd and these abate Love is opprest and seemeth turn'd to hate But doth not Love appear in thy Desire Would'st thou not Love God more fain get higher Would it not please thee more if thou couldst find His Image clearly printed on thy mind His Love and Spirit dwelling in thy heart Then of this World to have the choicest part Wouldst thou not have a heart that can Repent And hate sin more and tenderly relent A heart more fit to Meditate and Pray And walk exactly and God's Laws obey A clearer Light which may God's mind reveal More life and feeling greater heat of Zeal A stronger Faith to live on things above Where endless Praise shall be the breath of Love Sinner Whether I should desire these I doubt If possibly I could be sav'd without Jesus What 's Grace for but to bring thee to Salvation To heal thy Soul and keep thee from Damnation Wilt thou its Nature and its Use destroy And then conceit thou dost it not enjoy Think on 't as that which doth Salvation bring Or else thou mak'st it quite another thing Grace were not Grace if it did not intend Thy Happiness and Glory as its End The means is nullifi'd by separation From the just End to which it hath relation What do men trade for but their lawful wealth And what is Food and Physick for but Health Look not on Grace in one divided notion But the concordant perfect frame and motion Take not one single part but view the whole As it 's the Health and Beauty of the Soul The Life the Strength the Glory the Delight And that which makes it lovely in God's sight The honour safety gain and true content And that which must the pains of Hell prevent Take these as undivided all in one And view not one disjoynted part alone If all together seem a choicer treasure Than worldly gain and sinful fading pleasure And turn the scales in thy deliberation Then doubt not of thy Title to Salvation But dost thou not desire that God would love thee And make thee just and lovely and approve thee Would'st thou not see his face in Glorious Light And there sing Allelujah 's in his sight And love him perfectly world without end More deerly than thou lov'st thy deerest friend Where thou shalt be replenished with joy And no disturbance shall thy Soul annoy Where no temptation sin or grief shall come Where my own Love and Joy shall be thy home Abiding with the Host of Heav'n alwaies In the sweet Musick of Jehovah 's Praise This Glorious Life with God thou must love best Yet as thy own Felicity and Rest In Union and Fruition of a Friend Not one but both the Lovers are the End And hast thou no Desire or Will to this Would'st thou not live with God in endless bliss Sinner Some cold Desires of Heav'n the worst may have But dreaming lazy Wishes will not save Jesus Judge by these three for ending all the strife Thy Estimation Choice and Bent of Life These fleshly pleasures stand in competition Know which thou Chusest as thy best Condition If thou the Everlasting sure Reward More than sins fading pleasures dost regard If GOD and thy Salvation be the part Whose Interest stands highest in thy Heart If thus his Kingdom thou first seek and crave Both it and all things needful thou shalt have Sinner I fear I do not these thy terms fulfil And have not truly a Consenting Will Because so great averseness I still find To God and Holiness upon my mind Such deadness to Believe Love and Repent That there seems more of Hatred than Consent Necessity and Reason use a force Against my Will and Nature's bent and sourse Jesus No man can conquer and obtain Salvation But by resisting carnal inclination Fleshly desires run with speedy course And need not Faith 's or Reason's help and force Earthward you sink propensly as a cold But not so easily ascend to God One motion 's downward th' other 's all uphill Against the byas of the carnal will Too much of flesh remaineth in the best Some enmity to good sticks in their breast Something of Hatred even to God and Grace Contends with Love and troubleth your race In the most mortifi'd the flesh yet liveth And constantly against the Spirit striveth You cannot hear read meditate or pray Or any thing that 's good think do or say But Flesh makes war and stifly doth resist And would prevail did not my Grace assist Conflict and Conquest of this in-bred Foe Must be the way of all the good you do The Question is not Whether Flesh do strive But Whether after Flesh or Spirit you live It is not opposition that will prove That thou art void of Faith or Hope or Love The Law that 's in thy Members will still find Weapons against the Law that 's in