A DISCOURSE OF FRIENDSHIP PREACHED at the Wiltshire-Feast IN St. Mary Le-Bow-Church December the 1st 1684. By Samuel Masters B. D. Preacher to the Hospital and Precinct of Bridwell in London 6 Eccles 14 15 16. A faithful Friend is a strong defence and he that hath found such an one hath found a Treasure Nothing doth Countervail a faithful Friend and his excellency is in valuable A faithful Friend is the Medicine of Life and they that fear the Lord shall find him LONDON Printed by T. B. for Marm. Foster and Awnsham Churchill and are to be sold at the Black Swan at Amen-Corner MDCLXXXV To the WORTHY STEWARDS OF THE Wiltshire-Feast Mr. John Eyles Mr. Richard Holford Mr. Paul Methwen Mr. William Gardiner Mr. Henry Lambe Mr. Thomas Phipp. Mr. John Slater Mr. John Rutland Mr. John wayte Mr. Edward Smith AND To the rest of my Countrymen of WILTSHIRE SIRS WHen I was first desir'd by some of you to publish this Discourse I took it but for a customary Complement of respect to which I intended to make no farther answer than my thankful acknowledgment but the same request being since reinforc'd by some others who might plead that Friendship which the Sermon recommends I was obliged to comply many Argâ—ments occurr'd to diswade we bâ—t I thoâ—ght of this one for my encouragement that in crossing my own humour so much to gratifie my Friends I should give one instance of practising what I Preach'd and perchance gain the reputation of being one who would on all good occasions approve himself Your Faithful Friend and humble Servant SAMVEL MASTERS A DISCOURSE OF FRIENDSHIP c. Proverbs 17.17 A true Friend will love at all times and a Brother is born for Adversity WHen I consider that Nature designed us to be Friends by making us Country-men and that the chief design of our present meeting is to enlarge and indear our mutual Friendships I cannot think of a Subject which may yield a more suitable Entertainment than the excellent Vertue of Friendship which tho seldom discoursed of from the Pulpit is yet no inconsiderable Part of our Religion and though very rare to be met with in the World is certainly a very great advantage delight and ornament of human conversation In pursuance of this design I here present you the fair and lively Pourtraicture of a true Friend drawn by the most skilful hand in this divine Aphorism of the Text wherein we may observe 1. The Essential Form or Principle of a Friend which is Love a true Friend will love 2. His genuine Features or Properties which are chiefly these Two 1. An immutable constancy of affection He will love at all times 2. A generous Faithfulness in the most needful time of trouble He is a Brother born for adversity In the following discourse I shall endeavour to draw a true Copy from this original but more large that its beauties may be more display'd to your view and that I may not miss in the principal stroaks I shall keep within the lines of the Text. 1. I shall describe that love which constitutes a true Friend 2. I shall represent those admirable Properties of an immutable constancy of affection and a generous faithfulness in a time of adversity which complete and adorn him 3. I shall review the draught in some useful reflections 1. I begin to describe that Love which frames and constitutes a true friend It must be premis'd that I do not here consider a Friend in that large Sense wherein the vulgar apply the Name to any Neighbour or Acquaintance that is not an Enemy but in the strictest Sense as he is denominated such from that particular vertue which we properly call by the Name of Friendship and of this I design to discourse rather according to the Principles of our Religion than the mean and imperfect Notions of the antient Moralists That this friendship is a genuine Off-spring of Love is too evident to need a proof and what kind or sort of love it is which properly assumes the form and name of Friendship we shall easily discover by observing some of those modifications whereby the great and eminent grace of Christian Charity brancheth it self into a great variety of particular Virtues and among the rest into this of Friendship Such are the various objects about which it is conversant the different degrees to which it is advanced and the several good Offices in which it is imployed In a distinct view of these we shall discern how love is shap'd and determined into the Specifick form of Friendship 1. We observe that Love takes up various forms and names from the various object to which it is addressed as the Sea takes different Names from the several shoars it salutes Thus Love as it looks upward to Superiors is piety to a Parent duty to a Governour and gratitude to a Benefactor as it looks downward on Inferiors it becoms mercy to an Offender charity to the Indigent and pitty to the Distressed as it looks round about on equals we call it kindness and if among these it meets with any fitly qualifi'd to reciprocate the Offices of kindness it becomes Friendship The principal qualification which fits a Person to become an Object of Friendship is moral goodness especially that he be competently indued with probity and integrity with true wisdom and courage with ingenuity and Modesty with meekness and humility with a large Soul and a tender Heart with a pleasant Temper and a cheerful Spirit for if these dispositions be wanting either we shall not love or our love must be call'd by some other name than friendship Yet this is not all for there will be farther requisite such a combination of external Circumstances as may fit a Person for maintaining an actual intercourse of Friendship For tho we cannot but love and honour every vertuous Man we see and hear of yet we contract our Friendships only with those who are plac'd within the Sphere of our acquaintance who are most like us in age temper and condition of Life who may be most nearly adapted to us as a second self and with whom we may have the most frequent intimate and delightful as well as the most useful conversation It may be necessary to add that tho Friendship doth thus contract our Love to a few select Objects yet it will no way impair or hinder the great Duty of Christian Charity or make any Schisms or Factions among Christian Brethren for Christian Charity can like the Sun shine on all Mankind tho it strike on some with a more direct and warmer Ray or like a well-drawn Picture it can cast a look on all about it not overlooking an Enemy or a Stranger tho it may have a peculiar aspect for a Friend who is situated in the fitted Place and distance to it The great Apostle supposeth a different communication of Love in that advice 6 Gal. 10. As we have opportunity let us do good to all men
especially to those who are of the houshold of Faith And with parity of reason we may determine that we may be differently affected toward our Brethren of the same houshold as they differently excel in Christian Virtues and as Circumstances conspire to make us a fitter opportunity for maintaining an Intercourse of Friendship with them We observe also that Love asumes different shapes from the different degrees to which it is advanced and thus that Love which in a remiss degree is but ordinary kindness and common civility is by higher degrees exalted up into the fervour of Friendship The Love of Friendship cannot but be thus intensely great it being founded on true Vertue which is the most excellent kind of goodness and the highest incentive of Love it being also contracted to a few and mutually reflected all which will conspire to increase its ardors And we can suppose nothing less sufficient to transform friends into so near a likeness to incline them to one another with so passionate an affection to yield them so delightful a complacency in their mutual Society or to ingage them in so many hazards and hardships in serving each others Interests The Philosophy of the Antients describes this Love of Friendship in such transcendent heights as if it could not only mingle the concernments of Friends in a common Interest but also unite their Souls into one Person And the account we have of it from the Holy Scriptures will little abate the Hyperbole Solomon brings a Friend as near as a Brother in the Text and elsewhere tells us 18 Pr. 24. that he will stick closer than a Brother David professeth that Jonathans friendship to him was wonderful 2 Sam. 2.26 13 Deu. 6. passing the love of Women And God himself in cautioning Israel against the enticements of those who were like to have the highest ascendent over them placeth a Friend in the highest rank above a Brother or Son or Daughter or the Wife of the Bosom and calls him a Friend which is even as thy own Soul 41 Is 8. 33 Ex. 11. And hence it is that God expresseth his singular love to Abraham and Moses by calling them Friends and by the same Name also the incomprehensible height of our Blessed Saviours love to his Church is sometimes expressed in the Canticles and in the New Testament 5. Cant. 1 15. John 14 15. And I may add tho our blessed Lord hath by a new Commandment advanced the common love of Christians so far above all that was practised among Jews or Gentiles as to become the distinguishing Character of all his Disciples yet still we must allow Christian friendship to superadd as much to Christian love as common friendship us'd to do to the love of Nature If therefore St. Peter exhorts all Christians to have fervent Charity among themselves how intensely great must be the love of Christain Friends 3. We observe farther 1 Pet. 4. S. that Love takes up various Names from the variety of good Offices in which it is imploy'd for as it bears injuries we call it Meekness and as it forgives them we call it Mercy as it pitties the distressed we call it Compassion and as it relievs them we call it Charity and when beside all other Offices it attends to the intimate privacies and peculiar concernments of a Friend we call it Friendship The power of Friendship is equal to its love and as this includs all inferior degrees and exceeds them too so will that perform all common kindnesses and outdo them also It would be strange indeed if that Love which can shew mercy to an Enemy pitty to a Stranger and kindness to a Neighbour should not be ready to do as much and more for a Friend True friendship is the most officious thing in the World it will disdain no Offices as too mean decline none as too difficult it will not only take but seek all opportunities of doing good and reward it self with the delights and pleasures of such kind employments It makes but one exception to this general rule that it be put on no Services inconsistent with that Vertue on which its very life and being depends It will engage a Man to do any thing for his Friend but to commit a sin to follow him into any danger but into no Vice And therefore when Pericles desir'd his Friend to bear a false Testimony for him and he consented to serve him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 He is justly censur'd by the Moralist for coming too near the Altar And in a like case the Oratour censures the ill conduct of those who were betrayed by their Friendships into Factions and Conspiracies against the Common-wealth But beside all other common Offices of Love Friendship hath its own proper Province within which it performs some peculiar Offices which are impracticable to any other love Every Man is conscious of some concernments which lie deepest and closest to him which are too great for his own thoughts to manage which yet fall under the cognizance of no Relation or Society but this of Friendship He may have some secreets too big for his own Bosom which he can no where lodge with safety but in the breast of a Friend He may have some designs fit only to be intrusted to the sincerest Friendship He may have some Infirmities which he dare not expose to any severer eye than that of a Friend He may have some inward wounds which can bear no air or touch but the softest breath and gentlest hand of a Friend He may need such caution or advice such comfort or assistance as none could or would give but a faithful Friend In such cases Friendship discovers its own proper excellency and usefulness in providing a safe Closet for our choicest secrets a Soveraign balm for our deepest wounds in resolving our doubts correcting our errors advising our affairs communicating in our most secret joys to double them and in our most silent sorrows to lessen them and performing all this with such propensness and sincerity that even self-love could hardly equal it Such kind Offices Job expected of his Friends but in vain when he cryed out To him that is afflisted pity should be shew'd him of his Friends 6. Job 14. 19 Job 21. Have pity upon me have pity upon me O my Friends For the Hand of God hath touched me Such also our wise man asserts in several Proverbs Faithful are the wounds of a Friend 27. Prov. 6.9.17 As Ointment and Perfumes rejoyce the Heart so doth the sweetness of a Mans Friend by hearty Counsel As Iron sharpneth Iron so a Man sharpneth the Countenance of his Friend Thus far I have describ'd a Friend by that principle of Love which constitutes him such and that his inward frame might be more exposed to your view I have described his love also by the select Objects to which it is addressed the eminent degrees to which it is exalted and the most useful Offices in
Friend And surely that love which is stronger than Death will never boggle at petty misfortunes No Solomon tells us That many waters cannot quench Love 8. Cant. 7. neither can the Floods drown it and lesser sprinklings will but inflame it True Friendship like that Vertue on which it is founded will grow brighter and stronger by the conflicts of adversity and increase its Love as fire doth its heat by the sharpness of the season To see a worthy Friend bowing under the weight of an unjust oppression will strangely inspirit a true generous friendship it will force modesty to speak in vindication of his innocence and humility to contend for his just praises it will arm the timerous in his defence and instruct the rudest Tongue into an eloquent advocate such is the admirable force of friendship that it will raise a Man in the Service of a Friend above what he could or would do for himself yea oftentimes to postpone his own interests to those of a Friend and expose himself to shield a Friend from an approaching danger Such a friend was Jonathan to David whom neither the hatred of a Father nor the flattery of a crown could corrupt who would not yield up his friend though Saul with armed fury storm'd the bosom which entertained him nor would let go his friendship tho he knew it would cost him the reversion of a Kingdom but with an unshaken resolution he persisted to plead David's cause tho to the prejudice of his own to advance his praise though to his own diminution and to secure his friend though with the hazzard of himself Happy is the Man who is strengthened with such an alliance and provided of so useful a support for an evil day who is secure of a faithful Friend to adhere to him when all others forsake him to condole with him when others insult over him to plead his cause amidst the loudest calumnies and solicit his interests when most desperate and deplorable Having now finished the draught I designed tho with a much ruder Pencil than it deserv'd let us stand a while and review it in some useful reflections 1. If the face of a true friend be truly represented in this Text then the reverse and opposite of this must needs be false and counterfeit I should not have made this reflection but that I observe how the many 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as Plutarch calls the false Images and Counterfeits of friendship do reflect no small disgrace on this excellent Virtue Such are the Mercenary friendships of the vulgar who choose their friends as they do their cattle the strongest for labour or the fattest for sale who keep or part with their friends as will make most for their interest whose friendship is nothing else but traffick and commerce Such also are the vain friendships of fond Amorists which spend themselves in soft dalliances and imaginary delights which can no more engage a wise and generous mind than Sampson could be fettered with the ropes and wit hs of his Daliah Nay some have not been afraid to prophane the sacred name of friendship by ascribing it to the good Fellowship of Debauchery to combibations of Fraud and Violence or to conspiracies of Faction and Treason Such are indeed like Simeon and Levi Brethren in iniquity 49. Gen. 5.6 But oh my Soul come not thou into their secrets unto their assembly mine Honour be not thou united But the most common and dangerous imposter in friendship is the Flatterer who like Jacob appears in the dress of a Brother and with a smooth voice supplants and betrays him all whose officious Addresses are no better than the crafty arts of a Fowler to allure and decoy a friend into a prey But time will discover the false friend at least in a sharp season of adversity his disguises of friendship will drop off like withered Leaves at the approach of Winter 2. If so much be necessary to constitute and compleat a true friend we see reason enough why true friendship is so great a rarity in the world some have thought it matter of complaint and wonder that so excellent and useful a vertue should scarcely be met with any where but in the notional rules of Philosophy or the feigned examples of some imaginary Hystory But it is not to be thought strange that what is most excellent and very difficult should be scarce and uncommon in the World A vertuous friendship must needs be rare when Vertue it self is so They are but few whose Souls are refin'd with purity adorn'd with modesty supplee with meekness sweetned with kindness and enlarged with goodness which might render them capable of entertaining so great a vertue The most we may observe are too selfish to love any besides themselves too rugged in their tempers to admit of so close an union too vain and humorsome to be constant and too mean and abject of spirit to endure a tryal of adversity And hence it comes to pass that a true Friend is as greatly admired and as rarely seen among us as the Stoicks wise man was among the Philosophers of old Yet if the vertues of our Religion were as much in practice as they might and should be friendships would easily result of themselves were every one but fit to be a Friend nobody could be long without one But alas in our days Christian Charity is not only withered in these upper Branches but decays at the very root and so little can we endure the strictest bond of friendship that even the largest bond of peace can scarce contain us 3. Let us once more reflect on a true Friend to behold in him that excellency of worth and those endearing properties which may justly recommend him to our embrace and imitation How many and how eminent are the vertues which meet in the composition of a true Friend To how many and important uses will a true friendship serve It is the ornament of our prosperity and the relief of our adversity it sweetens our sorrows and our joys too and is the most delightful solace of our lives In a word true friendship is the highest improvement of humanity and the greatest advance of Christian Charity we are capable of in our present State What greater vertue could I recommend or what greater happiness could I wish to you my dear Countrymen than such a mutual friendship as would render our conversations wholesom and secure fruitful and pleasant as that good Country is to which we are related But who did ever dispraise friendship or would refuse a faithful Friend It were well if every one were as willing to be a friend as to have one and would be content to correspond by that rule of equity The wise Man gives 18. Pr. 24. That he who hath friends must shew himself friendly And yet it would become a Christian to do somewhat more to importune others with the first addresses of his Love and court them if possible into a League of friendship Seneca thought every good Man ought to have a friend to exercise his friendship ne tam magna Virtus jaceret lest so great a Virtue should be neglected and lost in the world It will much more concern us who are Christians to make and cherish amongst us the truest friendship because it is the most eminent pitch of that Charity which is the most eminent grace of our Religion Some have been vainly prejudic'd against friendship as if it were a forraign Virtue transplanted from the Schools of Philosophy but surely our holy institutions which require our love to an Enemy and a Stranger cannot be supposed to disregard a Friend our religion which qualifies Persons with the highest atâ—â—inments of Divine goodness which â—ssists out friendships with the mighty aid â—f that Holy Spirit who is the true God of love which honours it with so many encomiums and encourageth it with such great rewards can do more â—â—an all the morality of the Antients to â—eed and promote the noblest friendships The Holy Jesus the Author of â—ur Religion had his beloved Disciple â—â—d expressed a particular friendship to â—â—zarus and his Sisters The Primitive Christians did so abound in their friendships that they seem'd to have no other â—nd of love among them insomuch â—â—at the Heathens suspected them to â—â—…ry Philtrums and Charms about â—â—em to beget such strong Indearments 〈◊〉 Affection And to add no more â—â—e have reason to conceive one part of â—…e glorious happyness of Heaven to â—â—nsist in the most refined and exalted friendships of Angels and Saints madâ— perfect above where the poorest Lazâ—rus rests in the Bosom of the greatest â—brabam and all closely unite in the samâ— harmony of Love and Praise God graâ—â— that we may so imitate their holy friendships here that we may be admitted tâ—… their blest Society hereafter throuâ—â— the merits of our Blessed Saviour tâ—â— greatest and best of Friends to whoâ— with the Almighty Father and the â—ternal Spirits of Grace be Glory aâ—â— Honour Praise and Thanksgiving noâ— and ever Amen THE END