how now Mistresse what is it loue that makes you weepe and tosse and tourne so a nights when you are in bed Saint Leonard grant you fall not loue sicke Lelia I that 's the point that pearceth to the quicke Would Atropos would cut my vitall threed And so make lauish of my loathed life Or gentle heauens would smile with faire aspect And so giue better fortunes to my loue Why i st not a plague to be a prisoner to mine own father Nurse Yes ants a shame for him to vse you so too But be of good cheare Mistresse I le go to Sophos euery day I le bring you tidings and tokens too from him I le warrant yee and if he wil send you a kisse or two I le bring it let me alone I am good at a dead lift Marry I cannot blame you for louing of Sophos Why hee s a man as one should picture him in waxe But Mistresse out vpo ns wipe your eyes For here comes another wooer Enter Peter Ploddall Peter Mistresse Lelia God speed you Lelia That 's more then we neede at this time for we are doing nothing Peter I were as good say a good word as a bad Lelia But it s more wisedome to say nothing at all then speake to no purpose Peter My purpose is to wiue you Lelia And mine is neuer to wed you Peter Belike y are in loue with some body else Nurse No but shee s lustily promis'd Heare you you with long rifle by your side do you lacke a wife Peter Call you this a rifle it s a good backe sword Nurse Why then you with backe sword le ts see your backe Peter Nay I must speake with Mistresse Lelia before I goe Lelia What would you with me Peter Marry I haue heard verie wel of you and so has my father too And he has sent me to you a woeing And if you haue any minde of marriage I hope I shal maintaine you as wel as any husbandmans wife in the Countrie Nurse Maintaine her with what Peter Marrie with my Lands and liuings my father has promis'd me Lelia I haue heard much of your wealth but I neuer knew your manners before now Peter Faith I haue no Mannors but a prittie homestall and we haue great store of Oxen and Horses and Carts and Plowes and houshold stuffe bomination And great flocks of sheepe and flocks of Geese and Capons and Hens and Duckes O we haue a fine yarde of Pullen And thanke God here 's a fine weather for my fathers Lambes Lelia I cannot liue content in discontent For as no musicke can delight the eares Where all the parts of Discords are composed So wedlocke bands will still consist in iarres Where in condition there 's no sympathie Then rest your selfe contented with this answere I cannot loue Peter It s no matter what you say For my father tolde me thus much before I came that you would be something nice at first but he bad me like you nere the worse for that for I were the liker to speede Lelia Then you were best leaue of your suit till some other time and when my leasure serues me to loue you I le send you word Peter Will you wel then I le take my leaue of you and if I may heare from you I le pay the messenger well for his paines But stay Gods death I had almost forgot my selfe Prayee let me kisse your hand ere I goe Nurse Faith Mistresse his mouth runs a water for a kisse a little would serue his turne belike Let him kisse your hand Lelia I le not sticke for that He kisses her hand Peter Mistresse Lelia God be with you Lelia Farewell Peter Exit Peter Thus Lucre set in golden Chaire of state When learning 's bid Stand by and keepes a loofe This greedie humor fits my fathers vaine Who gapes for nothing but for golden gaine Enter Chur. Nurse Mistresse take heede you speake nothing that will beare action for here comes Master Churms the Pettifogger Churms Mistresse Lelia rest you merrie What 's the reason you and your Nurse walke here all alone Lelia Because Sir wee desire no other companie but our owne Churms Would I were then your owne That I might keepe you companie Nurse O Sir you and hee that is her owne are farre asunder Churms But if shee please we may be neerer Lelia That cannot bee mine owne is neerer then my selfe And yet my selfe alas am not mine owne Thoughts feares despaires tenne thousand dreadfull dreames Those are mine owne and these do keepe me companie Churms Before God I must confesse your father is too cruell To keepe you thus sequestred from the world To spend your prime of youth thus in obscuritie And seeke to wed you to an Idiot foole That knowes not how to vse himselfe Could my deserts but answere my desires I sweare by Sol faire Phoebus siluer eye My heart would wish no higher to aspire Then to be grac't with Lelias loue By Iesus I cannot play the dissembler And wooe my loue with courting ambages Like one whose loue hangs on his smooth tongues ende But in a word I tell the summe of my desires I loue faire Lelia By her my passions daily are increas'd And I must die vnlesse by Lelias loue they be releas'd Lelia Why Master Churms I had thought you had been my fathers great Counsellor in all these actions Churms Nay Damne me if I be By heauens sweet Nymph I am not Nurse Master Churms you are one can doe much with her father and if you loue her as you say perswade him to vse her more kindly and giue her libertie to take her choise for these made mariages prooue not well Churms I protest I will Lelia So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend Meane while Nurse le ts in My long absence I know will make my father muse Exeunt Lelia and Nurse Churms So Lelia shal accept thee as her friend Who can but ruminate vpon these words Would she had said her loue But t is no matter first creepe and then goe Now her friend the next degree is Lelias loue Well I le perswade her father to let her haue a little more libertie But soft I le none of that neither So the Scholler may chance cosen me Perswade him to keepe her in still And before shee le haue Peter Ploddall shee le haue any bodie and so I shal be sure that Sophos shal neuer come at her Why I le warrant ye shee le be glad to run away with me at length Hang him that has no shifts I promis'd Sophos to further him in his suite But if I do I le be peckt to death with hens I swore to Gripe I would perswade Lelia to loue Peter Ploddall But God forgiue me t was the furthest ende of my thought Tut what 's an othe euerie man for himselfe I le shift for one I warrant ye Exit Enter Fortunatus Solus Fortu. Thus haue I past the beating billows of the sea By Ithacs
has beene about to show his little wit in the second part of his paultrie poetrie but if I begin with wooing I le ende with wedding And therefore good Clearke let me haue it done with all speede for I promise you I am verie sharpe set Cleark Faith you may be askt i th Church on Sunday at morning prayer but Sir Iohn cannot tend to do it at Euening prayer For there comes a Company of Players tuth Towne on Sunday i th after noone and Sir Iohn is so good a fellow that I know hee le scarce leaue their companie to say Euening prayer For though I say it hee s a verie paineful man and takes so great delight in that facultie that hee le take as great paine about building of a Stage or so as the basest fellow among them Will Nay if he haue so lawfull an excuse I am content to deferre it one day the longer And Landlord I hope you and your sonne Peter wil make bold with vs and trouble vs Ploddall Nay William we would be loath to trouble you but you shal haue our companie there Will Faith you shal be very heartily welcome and wee wil haue good merry rogues there that wil make you laugh till you burst Peter Why William what company doe you meane to haue Will Marrie first and for most there wil bee an honest Dutch Cobbler that wil sing I wil noe meare to Burgaine goe the best that euer you heard Ploddall What must a Cobbler be your chiefe guest Why hee s a basefellow Will A basefellow you may be asham'd to say so For hee s an honest fellow and a goodfellow And he begins to carrie the verie badge of good fellowship vpon his nose that I do not doubt but in time he wil prooue as good a Copper companion as Robin Goodfellowe himselfe I and hee s a tall fellow and a man of his hands too For I le tel you what tie him tuth Bull-Ring and for a bag-pudding a Custard a Cheescake a hogges cheeke or a Calues head turne any man i th towne to him and if he do not prooue himselfe as tall a man as he let blind Hugh bewitch him and tourne his bodie into a barrel of strong Ale and let his nose be the Spigat his mouth the Fosset and his tongue a Plugge for the bunge hole And then there wil be Robin Goodfellow as good a drunken rogue as liues and Tom Shoomaker and I hope you wil not deny that hee s an honest man for hee was Constable oth Towne And a number of other honest rascals which though they are growne bankroutes and liue by the reuersion of other mens tables Yet thankes bee to God they haue a penny amongst at all times at their neede Ploddall Nay if Robin Goodfellow be there you shall be sure to haue our company For hee s one that we heare very well of And my sonne here has some occasion to vse him And therefore if we may know when t is wee le make bolde to trouble you Will Yes I le send you word Ploddall Why then farewell till wee heare from you Exeunt Ploddall and his sonne Wil. Wel Cleark you le see this matter brauely performed let it be done as it should be Clearke I le warrant ye feare it not Will Why then go you to Sir Ihon and I le to my wench and bid hir giue hir Maidenhead warning to prepare itself for the destruction of it is at hand Exeunt Enter Lelia Sola Lelia How loue and fortune both with eger moode Like greedy hounds do hunt my tired hart Rows'd forth the thickets of my wonted ioyes And Cupid windes his shrill note bugle horne For ioy my silly hart so neere is spent Desire that eager Curre pursues the chace And Fortune rides amaine vnto the fall Now sorrow sings and mourning beares a part Playing harsh descant on my yeelding heart Enter Nurse Nurse what newes Nurse Faith a whole sackefull of newes You loue Sophos and Sophos loues you And Peter Ploddall loues you and you loue not him And you loue not Master Churmes and he loues you And so heer 's loue and no loue And I loue and I loue not And I cannot tell what But of all and of all Master Churmes must bee the man you must loue Lelia Nay first I le mount me on the winged wind And fly for succour to the farthest Inde Must I loue Master Churmes Nurse Faith you must and you must not Lelia As how I pray thee Nurse Marry I haue commendations to you Lelia From whom Nurse From your brother Fortunatus Lelia My brother Fortunatus Nurse No from Sophos Lelia From my Loue Nurse No from neither Lelia From neither Nurse Yes from both Lelia Prithee leaue thy foolery and let me knowe thy newes Nurse Your brother Fortunatus and your loue to morrow night will meet you by the forrest side There to conferre about I knowe not what But t is like that Sophos will make you of his priuy councell before you come againe Lelia Is Fortunatus then retourned from the warres Nurse He is with Sophos euery day But in any case you must not let your Father know For he hath sworne he will not be discried Vntill he haue effected your desires For he swaggers and sweares out of all crie That he will venture all Both fame and bloud and limme and life But Lelia shall be Sophos wedded wife Lelia Alas Nurse my fathers iealous braine Doth scarce allow me once a month to goe Beyond the compasse of his watchfull eyes Nor once affords me any conference With any man except with Mr. Churms Whose craftie braine beguiles my father so That he reposeth trust in none but him And though he seekes for fauour at my hands He takes his marke amisse and shootes awrie For I had rather see the diuel himselfe Then Churms the Lawyer Therefore how I should meete them by the forrest side I cannot possibly deuise Nurse And Master Churms must be the man must work the meanes You must this night send for him Make him beleeue you loue him mightily Tell him you haue a secret friend dwels farre away beyond the Forrest To whom if he can secretly conuay you from your father Tel him you wil loue him better then euer God loued him And when you come to the place appointed Let them alone to discharge the knaue of clubs And that you must not faile Here receiue this ring which Fortunatus sent you for â—â—oken That this is the plot that you must prosecute And this from Sophos as his true loues pledge Lelia This ring my brother sent I know right well But this my true loue pledge I more esteeme Then all the golden mines the solide earth containes And see in happy time here comes M. Churms Enter Chur. Now loue and fortune both conspire And sort their driftes to compasse my desire M. Churms y are well met I am glad to see you Churms And I as glad to see faire Lelia
this She shal haue him I le rule the roste for that I le giue her pounds and crownes gold and siluer I le way her downe in pure angell gold Say man i st a match Ploddall Faith I agree Churms But Sir if you giue your daughter so large a dowrie you le haue some part of his land conueied to her by iointure Gripe Yes marrie that I will And wee le desire your helpe for conueiance Ploddall I good Master Churms and you shall be very well contented for your paines Will I marrie that 's it he lookt for all this while Churms Sir I will do the best I can Will But Landlord I can tell you newes yfaith There is one Sophos a braue genman hee le wipe your sonne Peters nose of Mistresse Lelia I can tell you he loues her well Gripe Nay I trow Will Yes I know for I am sure I saw them close together at Pupnoddie in her Closet Gripe But I am sure she loues not him Will Nay I dare take it on my death she loues him For hee s a scholler and ware schollers they haue tricks for loue yfaith for with a little Logicke pitome colloquium thei le make a wench do any thing Landlord pray ye be not angrie with me for speaking my conscience In good faith your sonne Peters a verie Clowne to him Why hee s as fine a man as a wench can see in a sommers day Gripe Well that shall not serue his tourne I le crosse him I warrant ye I am glad I know it I haue suspected it a great while Sophos why what 's Sophos a base fellow Indeed he has a good wit and can speake well Hee s a scholler forsooth one that has more wit then mony And I like not that he may beg for all that Schollers why what are schollers without money Ploddall Faith eene like puddings without suet Gripe Come Neighbour send your sonne to my house For he shall be welcome to me And my daughter shall intertaine him kindly What I can and will rule Lelia Come le ts in I le discharge Sophos from my house presently Exeunt Gripe and Ploddall and Churms Will A horne plague of this money For it causes many hornes to bud And for money many men are hornd For when maids are forc't to loue where they like not It makes them lye where they should not I le be hangd if ere mistresse Lelia will ha Peter Ploddall I sweare by this button cap do you marke And by the round sound and profound contents do you vnderstand Of this costly Codpeece being a good properman as yee see that I could get her as soone as he my selfe And if I had not a moneths mind in another place I would haue a fling at her that 's flat But I must set a good holiday face on t And go a wooeing to prittie Pegge well I le too her yfaith While t is in my mind But stay I le see how I can woo before I goe they say Vse makes perfectnesse Looke you now suppose this were Pegge Now I set my cap oth to side on this fashion do ye see then say I Sweet hony bonny suger candie Pegge Whose face more faire then Brocke my fathers Cow Whose eyes do shine like bacon rine Whose lips are blew of azure hew Whose crooked nose downe to her chin doth bow For you know I must begin to commend her beautie And then I will tell her plainely that I am in loue with her ouer my high shooes and then I will tell her that I do nothing of nights but sleepe and thinke on her and specially of mornings And that does make my stomacke so rise that I le be sworn I can turne me three or foure bowles of porredge ouer in a morning afore breakefast Enter Robin-Goodfellow Robin Goodfellow How now sirra what make you here with all that timber in your necke Will Timber Sounds I thinke he be a witch How knew he this were Timber Mas I le speake him faire and get out on s companie for I am afraid on him Robin Speake man what art afraid what makest here Will A poore fellow Sir ha bin drinking two or three pots of ale at an alehouse and ha lost my way Sir Robin O nay then I see thou art a good fellow Seest thou not Master Churms the Lawer to day Will No Sir would you speake with him Robin I marrie would I Will If I see him I le tell him you would speake with him Robin Nay prithee stay who wilt thou tell him would speake with him Will Marrie you Sir Robin I who am I Will Faith Sir I know not Robin If thou seest him tell him Robin Goodfellow wold speake with him Will O I will Sir Exit Wil. Cr. Robin Mas the fellow was afraid I play the Bugbeare wheresoere I come And make them al afraid But here comes Master Churms Enter Churms Churms Fellow Robin God saue you I haue beene seeking for you in euerie Ale-house in the Towne Robin What Master Churms What 's the best newes abroad t is long since I see you Churms Faith little newes but yet I am glad I haue met with you I haue a matter to impart to you wherein you may stand me in some stead and make a good benefit to yourselfe if we can deale cunningly t will be worth a double fee to you by the Lord Robin A double fee speake man what i st If it be to betray mine owne father I le do ot for halfe a fee And for cunning let me alone Churms Why then this it is Here is Master Gripe hard by a Clyent of mine a man of mightie wealth who has but one daughter her Dowrie is her waight in gold Now Sir this old penny father would marry her to one Peter Ploddall rich Ploddalls sonne and heire Whom though his father meanes to leaue verie rich Yet hee s a verie Idiot and Browne bread Clowne And one I know the wench does deadly hate And though their friends haue giuen their full consent And both agreed on this vnequall match Yet I know that Lelia wil neuer marrie him But there 's another riuall in hir loue one Sophos And hee s a Scholler One whom I thinke faire Lelia dearely loues But hir Father hates him as he hates a toad For hee s in want and Gripe gapes after golde And still relies vpon the olde sayd Saw Si nihil attuleris c. Robin And wherein can I doe you good in this Churms Marrie thus Sir I am of late growne passing familiar with M. Gripe And for Ploddall he takes me for his second selfe Now Sir I le fit my selfe to the olde crummy Churls humors and make them belieue I le perswade Lelia to marry Peter Ploddall and so get free accesse to the wench at my pleasure Now oth other side I le fall in with the Scholler and him I le handle cunningly too I le tell him that Lelia has acquainted me with hir
loue to him And for because hir Father much suspects the same He mewes hir vp as men do mew their hawkes And so restraines hir from hir Sophos sight I le say because she doth repose more trust Of secrecie in me then in another man In courtesie she hath requested me To do hir kindest greetings to hir Loue Robin An excellent deuise yfaith Churms I Sir and by this meanes I le make a very gull of my fine Diogenes I shall knowe his secrets euen from the very bottome of his heart Nay more Sir you shall see me deale so cunningly that he shall make me an instrument to compasse his desire When God knowes I meane nothing lesse Qui nescit dissimulare nescit vivere Robin Why this will be sport alone But what would you haue me doe in this action Churmes Marry as I play with to hand play you with tother Fall you aboard with Peter Ploddall Make him belieue you le worke miracles And that you haue a powder will make Lelia loue him Nay what wil he not belieue and take all that comes you know my mind And so wee le make a gull of the one and a goose of the other And if wee can inuent any deuise to bring the scholler in disgrace with hir I doe not doubt but with your helpe to creep between the bark and the tree and get Lelia my selfe Robin Tush man I haue a deuise in my head already to doe that But they say hir brother Fortunatus loues him dearely Churms Tuthees out of the Countrey He followes the drumme and the flagge He may chance to be kild with a double Canon before hee come home againe But what 's your deuise Robin Marrie I le do this I le frame an Inditement against Sophos in manner and forme of a Rape and the next Law day you shall preferre it that so Lelia may loath him Hir Father still deadly hate him And the young Gallant hir brother vtterly forsake him Churms But how shall we prooue it Robin Sounds wee le hire some Strumpet or other to be sworne against him Churms Now by the substance of my soule t is an excellent deuise Well le ts in I le first try my cunning otherwise and if all faile wee le trie this conclusion Exeunt Enter Mother Midnight Nurse and Pegge Mother M. Yfaith Marget you must eene take your daughter Pegge home againe For shee le not bee rul'd by mee Nurse Why Mother what will she not doe Mother M. Faith she neither did nor does nor will do any thing Send hir tuth market with egs shee le sell them and spend the money Set hir to make a pudding shee le put in no suet Shee le run out of nights a dancing and come no more home till day peepe Bid hir come to bed shee le come when she list Ah t is a nastie shame to see hir bringing vp Nurse Out you Rogue you arrant c. What know'st not thy Granam I know hir to be a teatie olde foole Shee s neuer well grunting in a corner Mother M. Nay shee le campe I warrant ye O she has a tongue But Marget eene take hir home to your Mistresse and there keepe hir for He keepe hir no longer Nurse Mother pray yee take some paines with hir and keep hir a while longer and if she doe not mend I le beat hir blacke and blew yfaith I le not faile you Minion Mother M. Faith at thy request I le take hir home and try hir a weeke longer Nurse Come on huswife please you Granam and bee a good wench and you shall ha my blessing Mother M. Come follow vs good Wench Exeunt Moth Mid. and Nurse Manet Peg. Pegge I farewell faire weather after you Your blessing quotha I le not giue a single halpennie for t Who would liue vnder a Mothers nose a Granams tong A Maid cannot loue or catch a lip clip or a lap clap but heer 's such tittle tattle and doe not so and be not so light and be not so fond and do not kisse and do not love and I cannot tell what And I must loue an I hang for t A sweet thing is loue Shee singes That rules both heart and mind There is no comfort in the World To Women that are kinde Well I le not stay with hir stay quotha To be yold and iold at and tumbled and tumbled and tost and tourn'd as I am by an olde Hagge I will not no I wil not yfaith Enter Will Cricket But stay I must put on my smirking lookes and smiling countenance For here comes one makes bominatiō suit to be my sprus husband Will Lord that my heart would serue me to speake to hir now she talks of hir sprus'd husband Well I le set a good face on t Now I le clap me as close to hir as Iones buttockes of a close stoole and come ouer hir with my rowling rattling rumbling eloquence Sweet Pegge honny Pegge fine Pegge daintie Pegge braue Pegge kind Pegge comely Pegge my nutting my sweeting my Loue my doue my honnie my bonnie my ducke my deare and my deareling Grace me with thy pleasant eyes And loue without delay And cast not with thy crabbed lookes A proper man awaie Pegge Why William what 's the matter Will What 's the matter quotha Faith I ha been in a faire taking for you a bots on you For tother day after I had seene you presently my belly began to rumble What 's the matter thought I With that I bethought my selfe and the sweete comportenance of that same sweet round face of thine came into my mind Out went I and I le bee sworne I was so neere taken that I was faine to cut all my points And dost heare Pegge If thou dost not grant mee thy good will in the way of marriage First and for most I le run out of my cloathes and then out of my wits for thee Pegge Nay William I would bee loth you should doe so for me Will Will you looke merrily on me and loue me then Pegge Faith I care not greatly if I doe Will Care not greatly if I doe what an answers that If thou wilt say I Pegge take thee William to my spruce husband Peg. Why so I wil but we must haue more company for witnesses first Will That needes not heer 's good store of yong men maides here Pegge Why then heer 's my hand Will Faith that 's honestly spoken say after me I Pegge Pudding promise thee William Cricket That I le hold thee for mine owne sweet Lilly While I haue an head in mine eye and a face on my nose a mouth in my tongue and all that a woman should haue from the crowne of my foote to the sole of my head I le claspe thee and clip thee coll thee and kisse thee Till I be better then naught and worse than nothing When thou art ready to sleepe I le be ready to snort When thou art in health I le be
in gladnesse When thou art sick I le be ready to dy When thou art mad I le run out of my wits And thereupon I strike the good lucke Well sayd yfaith O I could find in my hose to pocket thee in my heart Come my heart of golde le ts haue a daunce at the making vp of this match Strike vp Tom Piper They dance Come Pegge I le take the paines to bring thee homeward And at twylight looke for me againe Exeunt Enter Robin Goodfellow and P. Ploddall Robin Come hither my honest friend M. Churms tolde me you had a suit to me What 's the matter Peter Pray ye Sir is your name Robin Goodfellow Robin My name is Robin Goodfellow Peter Marrie Sir I heare y are a very cunning man Sir And sirreuerence of your worship Sir I am going a woeing to one M. Lelia a Gentlewoman here hard by Pray ye Sir tel me how I should be haue my selfe to get hir to my wife For Sir there is a Scholler about hir Now if you can tell mee how I should wipe his nose of hir I would bestow a fee of you Robin Let mee se et and thou shalt see what I le say to thee He giues him money Well follow my counsaile and I le warrant thee I le giue thee a loue powder for thy wench And a kinde of Nux vomica in a potion shall make hir come off yfaith Peter Shall I trouble you so farre to take some paines with me I am loth to haue the dodge Robin Tush feare not the dodge I le rather put on my flashing red nose and my flaming face and come wrapt in a Calue skin and crie bo ho I le fray the Scholler I warrant thee But first go to hir try what thou canst doe Perhaps shee le loue thee without any further a doe But thou must tell hir thou hast a good stocke some 100. or 200. a yeare that will set hir hard I warrant thee For by th Mas I was once in good comfort to haue cosend a Wench And wots thou what I tolde hir I tolde hir I had a hundred pound land a yeare in a place where I haue not the breadth of my little finger I promised hir to infeoffe hir in 40. pounds a yeare of it I think of my conscience if I had had but as good a face as thine I should haue made hir haue curst the time that euer she see mee And thus must thou doe cracke and lye and face And thou shalt triumph mightily Peter I need not do so for I may say and say true I haue lands and liuing inough for a countrey fellow Robin Barlady so had not I I was faine to ouerreach as many times I doe But now experience has taught me so much craft that I excell in cunning Peter Well Sir then I le be bold to trust your cunning And so I le bid you farewell and goe forward I le too hir that 's flat Robin Do so and let me heare how you speede Peter That I will Sir Exit Peter Robin Well a good beginning makes a good end Heer 's ten groats for doing nothing Icon M. Churmes thankes for this For this was his deuise And therefore I le goe seeke him out and giue him a quart of wine And know of him how he deales with the scholler Exit Enter Churmes and Sophos Churmes Why looke you Sir by the Lord I can but wonder at hir Father He knowes you to be a Gentleman of good bringing vp And though your wealth be not answerable to his Yet by heauens I thinke you are worthy to doe farre bet then Lelia yet I know she loues you dearely Sophos The great Tartarian Emperour Tamor Cham Ioyd not so much in his imperiall Crowne As Sophos ioyes in Lelias hop't-for loue Whose lookes would pierce an Adamantine heart And make the proud beholders stand at gaze To draw Loues picture from hir glancing eye Chur. And I wil stretch my wits vnto the highest straine To further Sophos in his wisht desires Sophos Thankes gentle Sir Enter Gripe But truce a while here comes hir Father I must speake a word or two with him speakes to himselfe Churms I hee le giue you your answere I warrant ye Sophos God saue you Sir Gripe O Mr. Sophos I haue longd to speake with you a great while I heare you seeke my daughter Lelias loue I hope you will not seeke to dishonest me nor disgrace my daughter Sophos No Sir a man may aske a yea A Woman may say nay Shee is in choice to take hir choice Yet I must confesse I loue Lelia Gripe Sir I must be plaine with you I like not of your loue Lelias mine I le choose for Lelia And therefore I would wish you not to frequent my house any more It s better for you to ply your booke and seeke for some preferment that way than to seeke for a wife before you know how to maintaine hir Sophos I am not rich I am not very poore I neither want nor euer shall exceede The meane is my content I liue twixt two extreames Gripe Well well I tell yee I like not ye should come to my house and presume so proudly to match your poore pedigree with my daughter Lelia and therefore I charge you to get you off of my ground and come no more at my house I like not this learning without liuing I Sophos He needs must goe that the diuell driues Sic virtus sine Censu languet Exit Sophos Gripe O Ma. Churms cry you mercy Sir I saw not you I think I haue sent the scholler away with a flea in his eare I trow hee le come no more at my house Churms No for if he doe you may indite him for comming of your ground Gripe Wel now I le home and keepe in my daughter She shal neither go to him nor send to him I le watch her I le warrant her Before God Master Churms it is the peeuishest girle that euer I knew in my life shee will not be rul'd I doubt Pray ye sir do you indeuour to perswade her to take Peter Ploddall Churms I warrant ye I le perswade her feare not Exeunt Enter Lelia and Nurse Lelia What sorrow seiseth on my heauy heart Consuming care possesseth euerie part Heart-sad Erinnis keeps his mansion Here Within the Closure of my wofull breast And blacke despaire with Iron Scepter stands And guides my thoughts downe to his hatefull Cell The wanton windes with whistling murmure beare My pearcing plaints along the desert plaines And woods and groues do eccho forth my woes The earth below relents in Crystall teares When heauens aboue by some malignant course Of fatall starres are authors of my griefe Fond Loue go hide thy shafts in Follies den And let the world forget thy Childish force Or else flye flye pearce Sophos tender breast That he may helpe to sympathize these plaints That wring these teares from Lelias weeping eyes Nurse Why
Cell Let warbling Ecchoes ring And sounding musicke yell Through hils through dales sad griefe and care to kill In him long since alas hath grieu'd his fill 2 Sleepe no more but wake and liue content Thy griefe the Nymphes deplore The Syluan gods lament To heare to see thy mone thy losse thy loue Thy plaints to teares the flinty rockes do mooue 3 Grieue not then the Queene of Loue is milde Shee sweetly smiles on men When reasons most beguil'd Hir lookes hir smiles are kind are sweet are faire Awake therefore and sleepe not still in care 4 Loue intends to free thee from annoy His Nymphes Syluanus sendes To bid thee liue in ioy In hope in ioy sweet loue delights imbrace Faire loue hir selfe will yeeld thee so much grace Exeunt the Nymphes and Satyres Sophos What do I heare what harmony is this With siluer sound that glutteth Sophos eares And driues sad passions from his heauy heart Presaging some good future hap shall fall After these blustring blasts of discontent Thanks gentle Nymphes and Satyres too adiew That thus compassionate a loyall louers woe When heauens sit smiling at his dire mishaps Enter Fortunatus Fortunatus With weary steps I trace these desert groues And search to find out Sophos secret walkes My truest vowed friend and Lelias dearest loue Soph What voice is this sounds Lelias sacred name He riseth Is it some Satyre that hath vew'd hir late And 's growne inamour'd of hir gorgeous hew Fortunatus No Satyre Sophos but thy ancient friend Whose dearest bloud doth rest at thy command Hath sorow lately blear'd thy watry eyes That thou forgetst the lasting league of loue Long since was vow'd betwixt thy selfe and me Looke on me man I am thy friend Sophos O now I know thee now thou nam'st my friend I have no friend to whom I dare vnload the burthen of my griefe But onely Fortunatus hee s my second selfe Mi Fortunateter Fortunate venis Fort. How fares my friend me thinks you look not wel Your eyes are sunk your cheekes looke pale and wan What meanes this alteration Sophos My mind sweet friend is like a mastlesse ship That 's huld and tost vpon the surging seas By Boreas bitter blasts and Eoles whistling winds On Rockes and sands farre from the wished port Whereon my silly ship desires to land Faire Lelias loue that is the wished hauen Wherein my wandring mind would take repose For want of which my restlesse thoughts are tost For want of which all Sophos ioyes are lost Fort. Doth Sophos loue my sister Lelia Sophos She she it is whose loue I wish to gaine Nor neede I wish nor do I loue in vaine My loue shee doth repay with equall meede T is strange you le say that Sophos should not speed Fortunatus Your loue repaid with equall meede And yet you languish still in loue t is strange Frō whence proceeds your grief vnfold vnto your friend A friend may yeeld reliefe Sophos My want of wealth is author of my griefe Your father sayes my state is too too lowe I am no hobbie bred I may not soare so high as Lelias loue The loftie Egle wil not catch at flies When I with Icarus would soare against the Sun He is the onely fierie Phaeton denies my course And feares my waxen winges when as I soare aloft He mewes faire Lelia vp from Sophos sight That not so much as paper pleades remorse Thrice three times Sol hath slept in Thetis lap Since these mine eyes beheld sweet Lelias face What greater griefe what other Hell then this To be denied to come where my beloued is Fortunatus Do you alone loue Lelia Haue you no riuals with you in your loue Sophos Yes onely one and him your father backs T is Peter Ploddall rich Ploddalls sonne and heire One whose base rusticke rude desert Vnworthy farre to win so faire a prize Yet meanes your father for to mart a match For golden Lucre with this Corydon And scornes at vertues lore hence growes my griefe Fortunat. If it be true I heare there is one Churms beside Makes suit to win my sister to his bride Sophos That cannot be Churms it my vowed friend Whose tongue relates the tenour of my loue To Lelias eares I haue no other meanes Fortu. Well trust him not the Tiger hides his clawes When oft he doth pretend the greatest guiles But stay here comes Lelias Nurse Enter Nurse Sophos Nurse what newes How fares my loue Nurse How fares shee quotha Marrie shee may fare how she will for you Neither come to her nor send to her of a whole fortnight Now I sweare by my maydenhead if my husband should haue seru'd me so when hee came a wooing to me I would neuer haue lookt on him with a good face as long as I had liued But he was as kind a wretch as euer laid lips of a woman He would ha come through windowes or doores or wals or any thing but he would haue come to me Marrie after we had beene maried a while his kindnesse began to slake for I le tell you what hee did He made me beleeue he would go to greene goose faire and I le bee sworne hee tooke his legges and ranne cleane away And I am afraide you le prooue eene such another kinde peece to my Mistresse for she sits at home in a corner weeping for you and I le be sworne shee s ready to die vpward for you And her father oth tother side he yoles at her and ioles at her and shee leades such a life for you it passes and yoo le neither come to her nor send to her Why shee thinkes you haue forgotten her Sophos Nay then let heauens in sorrow end my dayes And fatall Fortune neuer cease to frowne And heauen and earth and all conspire to pull me downe If blacke obliuion seise vpon my heart Once to estrange my thoughts from Lelias loue Sophos Fortunatus Why Nurse I am sure that Lelia heares from Once a day at least by Churms the Lawyer Who is his onely friend Nurse What yong Master God blesse mine eye sight Now by my maydenhead y are welcome home I am sure my Mistresse will be glad to see you But what said you of Master Churms Fortu. Marrie I say hee s a well willer to my sister Lelia And a secret friend to Sophos Nurse Marrie the Diuel he is trust him and hang him Why hee cannot speake a good worde on him to my olde Master and he does so ruffle before my Mistresse with his barbarian eloquence and strut before her in a paire of Polonian legges as if hee were gentleman Vsher to the great Turke or the Diuell of Dowgate And if my Mistresse would be rul'd by him Sophos might go snick vp But he has such a buttermilke face that shee le neuer haue him Sophos Can falshood lurke in those inticing lookes And deepe dissemblance lie where truth appeares Fortunatus Iniurious villaine to betray his friend Nurse Sir do you know the Gentleman Fort.
As euer Paris was to see his deare For whom so many Troianes bloud was spilt Nor thinke I would do lesse then spend my dearest bloud To gaine faire Lelias loue although by losse of life Nurse Faith mistresse he speakes like a gentleman Let me perswade you Be not hard hearted Sophos why what 's hee If hee had lou'd you but halfe so well he would ha come through stone walles but he would haue come to you ere this Lelia I must confesse I once lou'd Sophos well But now I cannot loue him whom all the world knowes to be a dissembler Churmes Ere I would wrong my loue with one dayes absence I would passe the boyling Hellespont As once Leander did for Heroes loue Or vndertake a greater taske then that Ere I would be disloyall to my Loue And if that Lelia giue hir free consent That both our loues may sympathize in one My hand my heart my loue my life and all Shall euer tend on Lelias faire command Lelia Mr. Churms mee thinkes t is strange you should make such a motion Say I should yeeld and grant you loue When most you did expect a sunneshine day My fathers will would mar your hop't for hay And when you thought to reap the fruits of loue His hard constraint would blast it in the bloom For he so dotes on Peter Ploddals pelfe That none but he forsooth must be the man And I will rather match my selfe Vnto a groome of Plutoes griesly denne Then vnto such a silly golden asse Churms Brauely resolued yfaith Lelia But to be short I haue a secret friend that dwels from hence Some two dayes iourney that 's the most And if you can as wel I know you may conuay me thither secretly For company I desire no other then your owne Here take my hand That once perform'd my heart is next Churmes If on th' aduenture all the dangers lay That Europe or the westerne world affords Were it to combate Cerberus himselfe Or scale the brasen walles of Plutoes court When as there is so faire a prize propos'd If I shrinke backe or leaue it vnperform'd Let the World canonize me for a Coward Appoint the time and leaue the rest to me Lelia When nights blacke mantle ouerspreads the sky And dayes bright lampe is drenched in the west To morrow night I thinke the fittest time That silent shade may giue our safe conuoy Vnto our wished hopes vnseene of liuing eye Churms And at that time I will not faile In that or ought may make for our auaile Nurse But what if Sophos should meet you by the forrest side And in counter you with his single rapier Churms Sophos a hop of my thumbe a wretch a wretch Shoulde Sophos meete vs there accompanied with some Champion With whome t were any credit to encounter Were he as stout as Hercules himselfe Then would I buckle with them hand to hand And bandy blowes as thicke as hailestones fall And carrie Lelia away in spite of all their force What loue will make Cowards fight Much more a man of my resolution Lelia And on your resolution I le depend Vntill to morrow at th' appointed time when I looke for you till when I le leaue you and go make preparation for our iourney Exeunt Lelia and Nurse Churms Farewell faire loue vntill we meet againe Why so did I not tel you she would be glad to run away with mee at length Why this falles out een as a man would say Thus I would haue it But now I must go cast about for some money too Let mee see I haue outlaw'd three or foure of Gripes debters And I haue the bonds in mine owne hands The summe that is due to him is some two or three hundred pounds Well I le to them if I can get but one halfe I le deliuer them their bonds and leaue the other halfe to their owne consciences and so I shall be sure to get mony to beare charges When all failes wel fare a good wit But soft no more of that Here comes Mr. Gripe Enter Gripe Gripe What Mr. Churms what alone how fares your body Churms Faith Sir reasonable well I am eene walking here to take the fresh ayre Gripe T is very holesome this faire weather But M. Churms how like you my daughter Can you doe any good on hir wil she be rul'd yet How stands she affected to P. Ploddall Churms O very well Sir I have made hir very conformable O let me alone to perswade a woman I hope you shall see hir married within this weeke at most I meane to my selfe He speakes to himselfe Gripe Master Churmes I am so exceedingly beholding to you I cannot tell how I shall requite your kindnesse But i th mean time heer 's a brace of angels for you to drink for your paines This newes has eene lightned my heart O Sir my neighbour Ploddall is very wealthie Come M. Churms you shall go home with me Wee le haue good chear be merry for this to night yfaith Churms Wel let them laugh that winne Exeunt Enter Pegge and hir Granam Pegge Granam giue me but two crownes of red golde And I le giue you two pence of white siluer If Robin the diuel be not a water witch Moth. M. Marrie Iesus blesse vs why prithee Pegge Marrie I le tel you why Vpon the morrow after the blessed newe yeare I came trip trip trip ouer the Market hil Holding vp my petticote to the calues of my legs To show my fine coloured stockins And how finely I coulde foote it in a paire of newe corkt shooes I had bought And there I spyed this Mounsier Muffe lie gaping vp into the skies To know how many Maides would be with childe in the towne all the yeare after O t is a base vexation slaue How the country talkes of the large ribd varlet Mother M. Marry out vpon him what a Friday fac't slaue it is I thinke in my conscience his face neuer keepes Holiday Pegge Why his face can neuer be at quiet He has such a cholerick nose I durst has worne by my maiden-head God forgiue me that I should take such an oath That if William had had such a nose I would neuer ha lov'd him Enter Will Cricket Will What a talking is here of noses and faces Come Pegge wee are towarde marriage let vs talke of that may doe vs good Granam what wil you giue vs toward howse-keeping Moth. M. Why William we are talking of Rob Goodfellow What thinke you of him Will Marrie I say he lookes like a tankerd bearer That dwels in Petticoate lane at the signe of the Mearemaide And I sweare by the bloud of my codpiece An I were a woman I would lug off his laue eares Or run him to death with a spit and for his face I thinke t is pittie there is not a lawe made That it should be fellonie to name it in any other places then in baudie houses But Granam what wil you giue vs Moth. M.
ages wondring at the same Shall sait's a deede deseruing lasting fame Fort. Then rest you here til I returne againe I le go to Sophos ere I goe along And bring him here to keepe you company Perhaps he hath some skill in hidden arts Of Planets course or secret magicke spells To know where Lelia and that Foxe lies hid Whose craft so cunningly conuaid hir hence Exit Fortu. Gripe I here I le rest an houre or twaine Till Fortunatus doe returne againe Will Faith Sir this same Churms is a very scuruy Lawer For once I put a case to him and me thought his law was not worth a pudding Gripe Why what was your case Will Marry Sir my case was a gooses case For my dog wirried my neighbours sow and the sow died Nurse And hee sued you vpon wilfull murther VVil No but he went to law with me and would make me either pay for his sow or hang my dogge Now Sir to this same Retourner I went Nurse To beg a pardon for your dogge VVill No but to haue some of his wit for my mony I gaue him his fee and promised him a goose beside for his counsaile Now Sir his counsaile was to denie all was askt me And to craue a longer time to answere Though I knew the case was plaine So Sir I take his counsaile and alwaies when he sende to me for his goose I denie it and craue a longer time to answere Nurse And so the case was yours the goose was his And so it came to be a gooses case VVill True but now we are talking of geese See where Pegge and my Granam Midnight comes Enter M. Midnight and Pegge Moth. M. Come Pegge bestirre your stumpes make thy selfe smugge wench thou must be married to morrow Le ts goe seeke out thy sweete heart To prepare all things in readinesse Pegge Why Granam looke where he is VVill Ha my sweet Tralilly I thought thou couldst spie me amongst a hundred honest men A man may see that loue will creepe where it cannot goe Ha my sweet and too sweet shall I say the tother sweet Pegge I say it and spare not VVill Nay I will not say it I will sing it Thou art mine owne sweete heart From thee I le neuer depart Thou art my Ciperlillie And I thy Trangdidowne dilly And sing hey ding a ding ding And do the tother thing And when t is done not misse To giue my wench a kisse And then dance canst thou not hit it Ho braue VVilliam Cricket How like you this Granam Mother M. Marrie gods bennison light oth thy good hart for t Ha that I were young againe Yfaith I was an olde doer at these loue songs when I was a girle Nurse Now by the Marry thou hast got the merriest woer in all Womanshire Pegge Faith I am none of those that loue nothing but Tum dum diddle If he had not beene a merrie shauer I would neuer haue had him Wil. But come my wimble lasse let al these matters passe And in a bouncing brauation le ts talke of our copulation What good cheere shal we haue to morrow Old Grandsir Thickskin you that sit there as melancholy as a mantletree what will you giue vs towarde this merrie meeting Gripe Marry because you told me a merrie gooses case I le bestow a fat goose on ye and God giue you luck Mother M. Marry wel said old master eene God giue them ioy indeed for by my vay they are a good sweete yong couple Will Granam stand out o th way for here come gentlefolke wil run ore ye else Enter Fortuna Soph. Lelia Nurse Master here comes your sonne againe Gripe Is Fortunatus there Welcome Fortunatus where 's Sophos Fortunatus Here Sophos is as much ore-worne with loue As you with griefe for losse of Lelia Sophos And ten times more if it be possible The loue of Lelia is to me more deare Then is a kingdome or the richest crowne That ere adornd the temples of a king Gripe Then welcome Sophos thrice more welcome now Then any man on earth to me or mine It is not now with me as late it was I lowrd at learning and at vertue spurnd But now my heart and mind and all is tournd Were Lelia here I soone would knit the knot Twixt her and thee that time could nere vntie Till fatall sisters victorie had wonne And that your glasse of life were quite outrun Will Sounds I thinke he be spur-blind Why Lelia stands hard by him Lelia And Lelia here falles prostrate on her knee And craues a pardon for her late offence Gripe What Lelia my daughter stand vp wench Why now my ioy is full My heart is lightned of all sad annoy Now farewell griefe and welcome home my ioy Here Sophos take thy Lelias hand Great God of heauen your hearts combine In virtues lore to raise a happie line Sophos Now Phaeton hath checkt his fierie steeds And quencht his burning beames that late were wont To melt my waxen winges when as I soard aloft And louely Venus smiles with faire aspect Vpon the Spring time of our sacred loue Thou great commander of the circled Orbs Grant that this league of lasting amitie May lye recorded by Eternitie Lelia Then wisht content knit vp our Nuptiall right And future ioyes our former griefes requite Will Nay an you be good at that I le tel you what wee le doe 〈…〉 I must be married to morrow and if you will wee le goe all tuth Church together and so saue Sir Iohn a labour All Agreed Fortunatus Then march along and le ts be gon To solemnize two marriages in one Exeunt Omnes FINIS THE EPILOGVE GEntles all compast in this circled rounde Whose kind aspects do patronize our sports To you I le bend as low as to the earth In all the humble complements of curtesie But if there be as t is no doubt there is In all this round some Cinique censurers Whose onely skill consists in finding faults That haue like Midas mightie Asses eares Quicke iudgements that will strike at euerie stale And perhaps such as can make a large discourse Out of Scoggins iests or the hundred merrie tales Marrie if you go any further t is beyond their reading To these I say I scorne to lend a looke And bid them vanish vapours and so let them passe But to the other sort that heare with loue and iudge with fauour To them we leaue to censure of our play And if they like our playes Catastrophe Then let them grace it with a Plaudite Exit FINIS