use of to describe her by is of a much larger extent 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the Targum rendereth it by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I will make him a prop an upholder the Septuagint 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I will make him an assistant an aide an help so she was intended so she must demeane her selfe in these following particulars particular 1 First an Helpe she must be in Piety Thus the Apostle Peter 1 Pet. 3.1,7 as he exhorteth Husbands to dwell with their Wives as men of knowledge so likewise Wives to win their Husbands by their conversations haec erat â—n paradiso potissima causa foeminae c. saith a Learned and Pious expositor upon my Text Parae in loc this was her chiefest help in Paradise that Man and she might be companions in their Devotions And O that Man and Wife were so still this would make the whole Earth an Eden a Garden of God then every House would be a private Bethel and every Family a Church in Epitome O how good and how pleasant a thing it is for the wedded to live together in Piety when they take sweet counsell together and goe to the House of God in company when by a reciprocall assistance sustaining and leaning upon one another they walke hand in hand together But Moses had his Zipporah and Abigail had her Nabal many a good Husband hath a vaine Wife and many a godly Wife hath a carnall Husband thus many are disturbed if not corrupted All you therefore whom God hath joyned together labour what in you lyeth to promote and edifie dare not however dare not to leaven and seduce each other If you love shew it O shew it in that noble and Christian affection that generous and sublimated passion that is tender of the better part Husbands will ye suffer your Wives the Wives of your bosomes to destroy themselves and never tell them of it where is your love to them Wives can you see your Husbands the Husbands of your vowes without hope without Christ without God in the world and take no notice of it where is your care for them O let your indulgence reach to the Soules of one another For what knowest thou O Wife to speak the language of the Apostle 1 Cor. 7.16 whether thou shalt save thy Husband or how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy wife 1 Cor 7.16 doe that and you wilt doe a courtesie indeed for which as instruments in the world to come you will thank each other with joyfull lips On the other hand consider how sad and dolefull a thing it will be at the great account to see the Husband and the Wife loading each other with black and tragicall execrations for their silent advancing of their mutuall ruine to heare them indicting and accusing one another at the tribunall of God to heare the Woman cry the Man the Man to heare the Man say the Woman the Woman that thou gavest to be with me she tempted me and I did sinne Consider the woe that belongeth to those by whom such offences come particular 2 2ly A help she must be in her progeny in the breeding and nurtering of her off spring that so her children may be Gods children that those which he shall give to her by procreation she may labour to give back to him by education Thus Hannah doth with Samuel 1 Sam. 1.11 1 Sam. 1.11 she voweth a vow that if the Lord will give her a Son by bearing him she will returne that Sonne to the Lord by serving him Grace though Parents cannot be the Authors to confer it yet they may be the meanes to o Pâ—ov 22.6 promote it And how much are they all concerned in it to p phes 6 4. bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord this is the commendatory testimoniall God giveth of Abraham Gen. 18.19 I know that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord. Gâ—n 18.19 Maximus est thesaurus quem parentes filiis relinquunt as the Father pithily It is the best Portion they can give them living the best Legacy they can bequeath them dying Quantum putas â—…xâ—etaris adjâ—er boris parentibus maximè maâ—…bus quae majori circa filios solent affectu movâ—ri cùm vident vitam fitiorum virtutum tramite relicto vagari per dâ—via vitiorum Bern. de passione do nâ—c 30. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Plut. de l. educ Remember your children have a long journey to goe from Earth to Heaven O let them set out betimes in the morning least they should be benighted It was St. John's praise that he followed Christ when he was young It was Timothie's happinesse that he knew the Scriptures from a childe Our Saviour biddeth his Disciples q Mat. 19.14 suffer little children doe you doe something more help your little children to come unto him q Difficulter eraâ—…ur quod rudes anni perbiberunt lanarum conchylia quis in pristinum candorem revâ—…at c. Hieron Ep. 7. ad Laetam de inst filia And what Dives would have done for his Brethren when it was too late doe you doe for your children in the accepted time warne them that they come not into the place of torment Provide for their Soules as well as their Bodyes as knowing those tender plants will either be fewell for Tophet or a nursery for Heaven particular 3 3ly A help she must be in society Aristotle calleth man 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Arist Ethic. l. 8 c. 1. an affectionate creature that delighteth in friendship now the Womans behaviour should be such as to encrease this delight and requite this affection that the new-borne love may not be blasted before it is rooted that it may never be disturbed by contention nor destroyed by aversation I reade in f Junoni nuptiâ—…lirem divinam cùm ficerent è victimá fâ—l exemptum post â—…ram â—bjicere moris fuit receptissimi innuenâ—e opinor ejus quisquis fuit autore bilem prorsus iramve à conjugali sequestrandam jucunditate Coel Rhodig Ant. lect l. 28. c. 21. Rhodiginus that it was a custome when they sacrificed 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to the Goddesse of Marriages to take out the Gall and fling it behinde the Altar to shew there should be no Gall or anger no Strife or Bitternesse in the conjugall relation there must be no provoking of one another here but onely to good works g Basil Hom. 7. Hexameron Basil urgeth it by way of up braiding to quarelling and bitter Husbands that Nature hath taught even the Viper to cast up his poyson when he joyneth with his Female Surely they are worse then Vipers who for the reverence of this Sacred Union will not abstain from all Rancor and Venome things the maritall Love must be so farre from this must be pure as Light sacred as a Temple lasting
God hath joyned you This was Gods end I will make him an Help Potuit simpliciter dicere faciam ei foeminam saith Ferus he might have said I will make him a Woman but he rather maketh choice of a Periphrasis which speaketh what the Woman should be she should be an Help So you are styled walke worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called Eph. 4.1 I never affected raking of sinkes or handling sores but I cannot but tell you there are too many of your sexe in the world so farre from deserving their name that they may more properly be called a Crosse than as here an Help How doe these degenerate from the end for which God intended them turning Antipodes to their duty These are they L and G. that have injured you as the fearfull spyes did Canaan brought up an evill report of you and loaded your sexe with such opprobrious Epithets Numâ— 13 32. Helps to nothing but Vanity Poverty discontentment Jerome somewhere hath a quaint deduction from the creating of the Woman E latere desumpta c. He lost a Rib for her making w th weakned him enough she had need to doe all she can to requite him by her helping him We usually say of Women they are helplesse Creatures if they are so the fault is not in Nature but in themselves they were Created to be helpfull or grant as it is true in many things they are helplesse to themselves this should be the greater argument to incite them in all they may to be Helps unto their Husbands de latere sumpta non discedat à latere saith Augustine Augustinus She was taken out of his side let her not depart from his side but shew her selfe as much as she was made for 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 an Help An Help to promote his Piety an Help to breed up their Progeny an Help to sweeten their society an Help to uphold their Family finally an Help in her whole duty then indeed she will be particular 3 Meet for him which is the last Particular of this last Generall and now cometh forth to crave your attention I will make him an Help Meet for him 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The Hebrew word is variously rendred by Expositors some translate it ex adverso ejus some coram ipso others astans ei others commodum ipsi the sence is almost the same in all onely the words are different occasioned perhaps by the fulnesse of the expression in the Originall which cannot without some disadvantage be brought into another language The Septuagint I think come as neer as may be who render it here 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 70. and in the 20. verse of this Chapter 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I will make him an help juxta correspondentiam ejus as Buxtorfius Buxtorfius suitable to him correspondent and proportionable 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 saith Chrysostome Chrysost 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 God had made Man many helps before he placed him in Paradise and gave him dominion over the severall Creatures some whereof were helps to feed him some to ease him some to delight him but among them all there was not a Help 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that was meet for him agreeable to his temper adequate to his nature this is onely to be found in the Woman who is properly adjunctorium simile sibi as some reade the words a Help meet fit for him Fit and meet she is to look no farther in these foure partiâ—ulars particular 1 First Shee is a Meet Help in regard of her Nature being a rationall Creature inspired with such a Soule and capable of the same enjoyments with her Adam The Angells were too much above him the Beasts were as much below him the one he could not reach to the other he could not stoop to but the Woman is a Parallel line that runneth equall with him a competent companion for his severall imployments a convenient partner for his particular engagements She moveth in the same orbe walketh in the same paths tendeth to the same center she is actuated by the same principles enjoyned the same precepts made of the same flesh with him Which is a first particular wherein she is meet for him in regard of her nature particular 2 2ly Meet for him she is in regard of her forme being of a like shape and feature 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 saith the Philosopher Aristot Eudem l 7. c. 2. likenesse breedeth delight and every creature by a commanding instinct associateth it selfe with those of its own species Now before the Woman was created Man was as the Psalmist complaineth of himselfe in another case even as a Pelican in the wildernesse as a Sparrow on the house top desolate and lonely Psalm 102.6,7 The rest of the Creatures could goe by paires Turtles had their Mates and Males their Females but Man hath none he is single and solitary But though he be so it is not good he keep so wherefore that no inconvenience may be unremedied that no defect may be unsupplyed the Lord God provideth that he shall have an Help that is meet for him particular 3 3ly Meet for him she is in regard of her Affections she being tender and communicative Brutes that have nothing but sense to rule them are onely subject to the fierce and ruder passions and to them likewise in the most violent extremities but in Man the pleasing and soft affections are both more strong and naturall No Creature so sublimated in Joy so prodigall in Love so generous in both But before Eve is formed there is no imployment upon Earth there is no requitall of these affections her being bringeth occasion for both now there is a sweet and ingenuous exchange of themselves a defecated and reciprocall delight in one another nothing that is here before was capable either of receiving or returning such noble Emanations at length she cometh who in Affections and for affections is meet for him particular 4 4ly Meet for him she is in regard of Discourse using the same utterance Apollonius Thyaneus vaunted that he understood the meaning of Birds and Bruits by those confused sounds we heare from them and Gregory telleth us that the Angells per sublimes incognitos modos Greg. Mor. 2. c. 5. after a hidden and secret manner speak to one another Certaine it is that to all society there is required a communicating of their mutuall purposes an unveyling and discovering of their severall intentions and this Adam cannot doe to the Rocks and Trees to the Fowles and Fishes he cannot disclose his minde to such things as these he wanteth one like himselfe to whom he may unlock his thoughts and open his Soul Were there such a one they might acquaint each other with the secret and private workings with the dark and curtained motions of their hearts and such a one is the Woman who as for other things so for her
as the World It is the highest degree of Friendship the strictest cord of Amity and this maketh every breach and jar by so much the more culpable Learne therefore to beare with infirmities and passe by each others saylings The antients in their Maritall Hieroglyphicks used to paint Mercury standing by Venus to signifie that by faire language and sweet entreaties the mindes of each other should be united Love is not more full of passion when it is wholly blinde than it is of discretion when it will sometimes winke This will cover a multitude of sinnes 1 Pet. 4.8 particular 4 4ly A Helpe she must be in her Family being not onely a Wife but an Housewife not a Field-wife like Dinah nor a Street wife like Thamar nor a Window-wife like Jezebel but an Housewife Wherefore Phidias when he should draw a Woman painted her sitting under a Snailes shell signifying that in her life she should imitate that little Creature that carrieth the house upon the back of it And as such you may reade her description at large Prov. 31. from the 13. to the 28. Prov. 31.13,14,15,16 c. As in the Heavens there are two Lights the greater to rule the Day the lesser to rule the Night so here on the Earth there is the Man the greater light to rule the Publick the Woman the lesser light to take care of domesticall affaires Thus Marriage is called conjugium from jugum a yoke when those that are joyned together have a reciprocall and relative interest in each others actions both promoting the same designe in their severall capacities Where cattell are yoked together should one draw and the other stand still much more if the one pull forward and the other hale backward they would but tire each other both must put to their strength proportionably and so here 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aristot Polit. l. 3. c. 4. the yoke-fellows have each their taske and burthen the Man must doe his part by providing industriously the Woman must doe her part by preserving discreetly the Man must doe his part not neglecting carelesly the Woman must doe her part not wasting prodigally finally the Man must doe his part abroad the Woman must doe her part at home the Man must doe his part by getting the Woman must doe her part by saving I question not but you are acquainted with your particular duties this is not a place to reade a Lecture of Oeconomicks I passe on particular 5 5ly And lastly to include all A Help she must be in all those duties which in her Contract she hath engaged for in the presence of God and Men. By solemne protestation she layeth upon her selfe an obligation to performe them and it will be required at her hands non tam respiciendum cui juramus quà m per quem juramus Lomb. 3. sent distinct 39. you stand bound by promise to the most High and to him shall the vow be performed The wise man telleth you Eccles 5.5 Better it is that thou shouldst not vow then that thou shouldst vow and not pay Eccles 5.5 Forget not thy engagements and remember to observe them Quà m gravia vincula sunt vota It is Ambrose's exclamation major est contractus fidei quà m pecuniae Amb. l. 9. in Lucam ad cap. 20. You are mistaken that look upon the Matrimoniall vowes onely as things of custome and formality know the Heavens heare and the Earth hearkneth to them and if they are broken shall testifie against you for dissembling with the Almighty and deluding of his Creature by making promises which you forget and falsifie application 1 That I may draw to a conclusion of this particular Doth God call the Woman here an Help Then this might serve in the first place to correct the unlawful vanity of such that imploy their wits to vilifie and disparage them that stuffe their discourses with a Catalogue of their weaknesses scarce ever mentioning them without a Satyr whose best language is to give them Cato's periphrasis that they are necessary evills condemning the frame of all for the faults of some as if it were a consequence that because some are bad therefore none are good Is this their thanks to their Maker to raile at the worke of his hands But what Tertullian said of Hereticks I may say here detegere est refutare Many Daughters have done vertuously Tertul. Praescript Prov. 31.29 application 2 2ly Is Woman an Help to Man The Wife an Help to the Husband Then this may teach Husbands to be Helps to them againe It is the Poets description of an Husband 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Homer he is to his Wife Father Mother Brother and great reason for it unlesse the state of Mariage should be no better than the condition of an Orphan for she that leaveth all these relations for him will be a great loser if she doe not finde them all translated in him I am afraid Medea's complaint in Euripides may be taken up by too many Wives 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Euripides Med. Ambrose hath almost translated it Ambros Exhort ad Virgines Virgins are with their owne Money sold to misery and their owne portion is the too deare price of a servile subjection True it is the Husband is the * 1 Cor 11.3 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Phil. in Gen. 3.12 head of his Wife and so hath dominion over her but it is such as the Soul hath over the Body to take care for it and help it Their help is mutuall the Soule furnisheth the Body with light and understanding the Body requiteth the Soul with hands and feet and so it must be here she that hath parted with all her helps for thee she that hath imparted all her help to thee hath good reason to expect and meet with all help from thee As the Earth sendeth up all its vapours and proper emissions at the command of the Sunne and yet requireth them againe to refresh her owne need and they are deposited between them both in the bosome of a cloud as a common receptacle that as they have ascended to coole his flames so they may descend to make her fruitfull so are the proprieties of a Wife to be disposed of by her Husband they serve the interest of both while they serve the necessities of either Now she is a part of thy selfe corporis dimidium tui Gen. 2.23 bone of thy bones and flesh of thy flesh and therefore nourish her and cherish her It is the Apostles consequence Eph. 5.28,29 Ephes 5.28,29 application 3 3ly Is Woman to be an Help to Man Then let this teach you all whom it may concerne the end of your conjugall condition I may say in another sense then Verus meant it uxor dignitatis non voluptatis nomen Coel. Rhod. Aut. lect l. 18. c. 13. Wife is not a name of Pleasure but of Honour you are to be Helps to those to whom