If he do not doate on her vppon this I will neuer trust my expectation Prince Let there be the same nette spread for her and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry the sporte will be when they holde one an opinion of an others dotage and no such matter that 's the scene that I woulde see which wil be meerely a dumbe shew let vs send her to call him in to dinner Benedicke This can be no tricke the conference was sâ—dly borne they haue the trueth of this from Hero they seeme to pittie the Lady it seemes her affections haue their full bent loue me why it must be requited I heare how I am censurde they say I will beare my selfe prowdly if I perceiue the loue come from her they say too that she will rather die than giue anie signe of affection I did neuer thinke to marry I must not seeme prowd happy are they that heare their detractions and can put them to mending they say the Lady is faire us a trueth I can beare them witnesse and vertuous us so I cannot reprooue it and wise but for louing me by my troth it is no addition to her wit nor no great argument of her follie for I will be horribly in loue with her I may chaunce haue some odde quirkes and remnants of witte broken on me because I haue railed so long against marriage but doth not the appetite alter a man loues the meate in his youth that he cannot indure in his age Shall quippes and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the carreere of his humor No the world must be peopled When I saide I woulde die a batcheller I did not think I should liue til I were married here comes Beatrice by this day shee s a faire lady I doe spie some markes of loue in her Enter Beatrice Beatr. Aganst my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner Bene. Faire Beatrice I thanke you for your paines Beat. I tooke no more paines for those thankes then you take paines to thanke me if it had bin painful I would not haue come Bene. You take pleasure then in the message Beat. Yea iust so much as you may take vppon a kniues point and choake a daw withall you haue no stomach signior fare you well exit Bene. Ha against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner there 's a double meaning in that I took no more paines for those thanks theÌ„ you took pains to thank me that 's as much as to say any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks if I do not take pitty of her I am a villaine if I do not loue her I am a Iew I will go get her picture exit Enter Hero and two Gentlewomen Margaret and Ursley Hero Good Margaret runne thee to the parlour There shalt thou find my cosin Beatrice Proposing with the prince and Claudio Whisper her eare and tell her I and Vrsley Walke in the orchard and our whole discourse Is all of her say that thou ouer-heardst vs And bid her steale into the pleached bowere Where hony-suckles ripened by the sunne Forbid the sunne to enter like fauourites Made proud by princes that aduaunce their pride Against that power that bred it there will she hide her To listen our propose this is thy office Beare thee well in it and leaue vs alone Marg. I le make her come I warrant you presently Hero Now Vrsula when Beatrice doth come As we do trace this alley vp and downe Our talke must onely be of Benedicke When I do name him let it be thy part To praise him more than euer man did merite My talke to thee must be how Benedicke Is sicke in loue with Beatrice of this matter Is little Cupids crafty arrow made That onely wounds by heare-say now begin For looke where Beatrice like a Lapwing runs Close by the ground to heare our conference Enter Beatrice Ursula The pleasantst angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden ores the siluer streame And greedily deuoure the treacherous baite So angle we for Beatrice who euen now Is couched in the wood-bine couerture Feare you not my part of the dialogue Hero Then go we neare her that her eare loose nothing Of the false sweete baite that we lay for it No truly Vrsula she is too disdainfull I know her spirits are as coy and wild As haggerds of the rocke Ursula But are you sure That Benedicke loues Beatrice so intirely Hero So saies the prince and my new trothed Lord. Ursula And did they bid you tel her of it madame Hero They did intreate me to acquaint her of it But I perswaded them if they lou'de Benedicke To wish him wrastle with affection And neuer to let Beatrice know of it Vrsula Why did you so dooth not the gentleman Deserue as full as fortunate a bed As euer Beatrice shall couch vpon Hero O God of loue I know he doth deserue As much as may be yeelded to a man But nature neuer framde a womans hart Of prowder stuffe then that of Beatrice Disdaine and Scorne ride sparkling in her eies Misprising what they looke on and her wit Valewes it selfe so highly that to her All matter els seemes weake she cannot loue Nor take no shape nor proiect of affection She is so selfe indeared Vrsula Sure I thinke so And therefore certainely it were not good She knew his loue lest shee le make sport at it Hero Why you speake truth I neuer yet saw man How wise how noble yong how rarely featured But she would spel him backward if faire faced She would sweare the gentleman should be her sister If blacke why Nature drawing of an antique Made a foule blot if tall a launce ill headed If low an agot very vildly cut If speaking why a vane blowne with all winds If silent why a blocke moued with none So turnes she euery man the wrong side out And neuer giues to Truth and Vertue that Which simplenesse and merite purchaseth Vrsula Sure sure such carping is not commendable Hero No not to be so odde and from all fashions As Beatrice is cannot be commendable But who dare tell her so if I should speake She would mocke me into ayre O she would laugh me Out of my selfe presse me to death with wit Therefore let Benedicke like couerd fire Consume away in sighes waste inwardly It were a better death then die with mockes Which is as bad as die with tickling Vrsula Yet tel her of it heare what she wil say Hero No rather I will go to Benedicke And counsaile him to fight against his passion And truly I le deuise some honest slaunders To staine my cosin with one doth not know How much an ill word may impoison liking Vrsula O do not do your cosin such a wrong She cannot be so much without true iudgement Hauing so swift and excellent a wit As she is prisde to haue as to
Bring you these fellowes on wee l talke with Margaret how her acquaintance grew with this lewd felow exeunt Enter Benedicke and Margaret Bened. Praie thee sweete mistris Margaret deserue well at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice Mar. Wil you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beautie Bene. In so high a stile Margaret that no man liuing shall come ouer it for in most comely truth thou deseruest it Mar. To haue no man come ouer me why shal I alwaies keep below staires Bene. Thy wit is as quicke as the grey-hounds mouth it catches Mar. And your's as blunt as the Fencers foiles which hit but hurt not Bene. A most manly witte Margaret it will not hurt a woman and so I pray thee call Beatrice I giue thee the bucklers Marg. Giue vs the swordes wee haue bucklers of our owne Bene. If you vse them Margaret you must putte in the pikes with a vice and they are daungerous weapons for maides Mar. Well I will call Beatrice to you who I thinke hath legges Exit Margarite Bene. And therefore wil come The God of loue that sits aboue and knowes mee and knowes me how pittifull I deserue I meane in singing but in louing Leander the good swimmer Troilus the first imploier of pandars and a whole booke full of these quondam carpet-mongers whose names yet runne smoothly in the euen rode of a blancke verse why they were neuer so truly turnd ouer and ouer as my poore selfe in loue mary I cannot shew it in rime I haue tried I can finde out no rime to Ladie but babie an innocent rime for scorne horne a hard rime for schoole foole a babling rime very ominous endings no I was not borne vnder a riming plannet nor I cannot wooe in festiuall termes sweete Beatrice wouldst thou come when I cald thee Enter Beatrice Beat. Yea signior and depart when you bid me Bene. O stay but till then Beat. Then is spoken fare you wel now and yet ere I goe let me goe with that I came which is with knowing what hath past betweene you and Claudio Bene. Onely foule words and therevpon I will kisse thee Beat. Foule words is but foule wind and foule wind is but foule breath and foule breath is holsome therfore I wil depart vnkist Bene. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sence so forcible is thy wit but I must tel thee plainly Claudio vndergoes my challenge and either I must shortly heare from him or I will subscribe him a coward and I pray thee now tell me for which of my bad parts didst thou first fal in loue with me Beat. For them all together which maintaind so politique a state of euil that they will not admitte any good part to intermingle with them but for which of my good parts did you first suffer loue for me Bene. Suffer loue a good epithite I do suffer loue indeed for I loue thee against my will Beat. In spight of your heart I thinke alas poore heart if you spight it for my sake I will spight it for yours for I wil neuer loue that which my friend hates Bene. Thou and I are too wise to wooe peaceably Beat. It appeares not in this confession there 's not one wise man among twentie that will praise himselfe Bene. An old an old instance Beatrice that liu'd in the time of good neighbours if a man do not erect in this age his owne toomb ere he dies he shall liue no longer in monument then the bell rings and the widow weepes Beat. And how long is that thinke you Bene. Question why an hower in clamour and a quarter in rhewme therefore is it most expedient for the wise if Don worme his conscience find no impediment to the contrary to be the trumpet of his owne vertues as I am to my self so much for praising my selfe who I my selfe will beare witnes is praise worthie and now tell me how doth your cosin Beat. Verie ill Bene. And how do you Beat. Verie ill too Bene. Serue God loue me and mend there wil I leaue you too for here comes one in haste Enter Vrsula Vrsula Madam you must come to your vncle yonder 's old coile at home it is prooued my Lady Hero hath bin falsely accusde the Prince and Claudio mightily abusde and Don Iohn is the author of all who is fled and gone will you come presently Beat. Will you go heare this newes signior Bene. I wil liue in thy heart die in thy lap and be buried in thy eies and moreouer I wil go with thee to thy vncles exit Enter Claudio Prince and three or foure with tapers Claudio Is this the monument of Leonato Lord It is my Lord. Epitaph Done to death by slauderous tongues Was the Hero that heere lies Death in guerdon of her wronges Giues her fame which neuer dies So the life that dyed with shame Liues in death with glorious fame Hang thou there vpon the toomb Praising hir when I am dead Claudio Now musick sound sing your solemne hymne Song them but I think they are more flexi Pardon goddesse of the night Those that slew thy virgin knight For the which with songs of woe Round about her tombe they goe Midnight assist our mone help vs to sigh grone Heauily heauily Graues yawne and yeeld your dead Till death be vttered Heauily heauily Lo. Now vnto thy bones good night yeerely will I do this right Prince Good morrow maisters put your torches out The wolues haue preied and looke the gentle day Before the wheeles of Phoebus round about Dapples the drowsie East with spots of grey Thanks to you al and leaue vs fare you well Claudio Good morrow masters each his seuerall way Prince Come let vs hence and put on other weedes And then to Leonatoes we will goe Claudio And Hymen now with luckier issue speeds Then this for whom we rendred vp this woe exeunt Enter Leonato Benedick Margaret Ursula old man Frier Hero Frier Did I not tell you shee was innocent Leo. So are the Prince and Claudio who accusd her Vpon the errour that you heard debated But Margaret was in some fault for this Although against her will as it appeares In the true course of all the question Old Wel I am glad that all things sorts so well Bened. And so am I being else by faith enforst To call young Claudio to a reckoning for it Leo. Well daughter and you gentlewomen all Withdraw into a chamber by your selues And when I send for you come hither masked The Prince and Claudio promisde by this howre To visite me you know your office brother You must be father to your brothers daughter And giue her to young Claudio Exeunt Ladies Old Which I will doe with confirmd countenance Bened. Frier I must intreate your paines I thinke Frier To doe what Signior Bened. To bind me or vndo me one of them Signior Leonato truth it is good Signior Your niece regards me with
an eye of fauour Leo. That eye my daughter lent her t is most true Bened. And I do with an eye of loue requite her Leo. The sight whereof I thinke you had from me From Claudio and the Prince but what 's your will Bened. Your answere sir is enigmaticall But for my wil my will is your good will May stand with ours this day to be conioynd In the state of honorable marriage In which good Frier I shal desire your help Leo. My heart is with your liking Frier And my helpe Heere comes the Prince and Claudio Enter Prince and Claudio and two or three other Prince Good morrow to this faire assembly Leo. Good morrow Prince good morrow Claudio We heere attend you are you yet determined To day to marry with my brothers daughter Claud. I le hold my mind were she an Ethiope Leo Call her foorth brother here 's the Frier ready P. Good morrow Bened why what 's the matter That you haue such a Februarie face So full of frost of storme and clowdinesse Claud. I thinke he thinkes vpon the sauage bull Tush feare not man wee le tip thy hornes with gold And all Europa shall reioyce at thee As once Europa did at lustie loue When he would play the noble beast in loue Bene. Bull Ioue sir had an amiable lowe And some such strange bull leapt your fathers cowe And got a calfe in that same noble feate Much like to you for you haue iust his bleate Enter brother Hero Beatrice Margaret Ursula Clau. For this I owe you here comes other recknings Which is the Lady I must seize vpon Leo. This same is she and I do giue you her Claud. Why then shee s mine sweet let me see your face Leon. No that you shall not till you take her hand Before this Frier and sweare to marry hir Claud. Giue me your hand before this holy Frier I am your husband if you like of me Hero And when I liu'd I was your other wife And when you loued you were my other husband Claud. Another Hero Hero Nothing certainer One Hero died defilde but I do liue And surely as I liue I am a maide Prince The former Hero Hero that is dead Leon. She died my Lord but whiles her slaunder liu'd Frier All this amazement can I qualifie When after that the holy rites are ended I le tell you largely of faire Heroes death Meane time let wonder seeme familiar And to the chappell let vs presently Ben. Soft and faire Frier which is Beatrice Beat. I answer to that name what is your will Bene. Do not you loue me Beat. Why no no more then reason Bene. Why then your vncle and the prince and Claudio Haue beene deceiued they swore you did Beat. Do not you loue me Bene. Troth no no more then reason Beat. Why then my cosin Margaret and Vrsula Are much deceiu'd for they did sweare you did Bene. They swore that you were almost sicke for me Beat. They swore that you were welnigh dead for me Bene. T is no such matter then you do not loue me Beat. No truly but in friendly recompence Leon. Come cosin I am sure you loue the gentleman Clau. And I le besworne vpon 't that he loues her For here 's a paper written in his hand A halting sonnet of his owne pure braine Fashioned to Beatrice Hero And here 's another Writ in my cosins hand stolne from her pocket Containing her affection vnto Benedicke Bene. A miracle here 's our owne hands against our hearts come I will haue thee but by this light I take thee for pittie Beat. I would not denie you but by this good day I yeeld vpon great perswasion and partly to saue your life for I was told you were in a consumption Leon. Peace I will stop your mouth Prince How dost thou Benedicke the married man Bene. I le tel thee what prince a colledge of witte-crackers cannot flout me out of my humour dost thou think I care for a Satyre or an Epigramme no if a man will be beaten with braines a shall weare nothing hansome about him in briefe since I doe purpose to marrie I will think nothing to anie purpose that the world can saie against it and therfore neuer flout at me for what I haue said against it for man is a giddie thing and this is my conclusion for thy part Claudio I did thinke to haue beaten thee but in that thou art like to be my kinsman liue vnbruisde and loue my cousen Clau. I had wel hopte thou wouldst haue denied Beatrice that I might haue cudgelld thee out of thy single life to make thee a double dealer which out of question thou wilt be if my coosin do not looke exceeding narrowly to thee Bene. Come come we are friends le ts haue a dance ere we are maried that we may lighten our own hearts and our wiues heeles Leon. Wee le haue dancing afterward Bene. First of my worde therefore plaie musicke Prince thou art sad get thee a wife get thee a wife there is no staffe more reuerent then one tipt with horne Enter Messenger Mess. My Lord your brother Iohn is tane in flight And brought with armed men backe to Messina Bene. Thinke not on him till to morrow I le deuise thee braue punishments for him strike vp Pipers dance FINIS