is the weaker But they must consider who it is from whom the man hath his right his power and his place euen he that hath power equally ouer either and will vndoubtedly punish either if either the one shall perswade or the other vpon perswasion yeeld to ought against his will Hitherto we haue entreated of the former part concerning the wiues dutie wee come now to the latter part concerning the Husbands And the Husbands dutie is propounded partly in the affirmatiue and partly in the negatiue 1. In the affirmatiue Husbands loue your wiues 2. In the negatiue And be not bitter vnto them The maine dutie required on the mans part is Loue that which the Apostle euer inculcateth when he entreateth of the Husbands dutie The equitie whereof we may easily conceiue if wee shall but consider the precept of Loue and in what tearmes it runneth Thou art commanded therefore by God to Loue thy neighbour as thy selfe And what neerer neighbour then thy wife who is taken by thee into the societie and communion of thy whole liâ—e to be a perpetuall companion with thee at boord and in bed to dwell and abide with thee continually to conuerse with thee most inwardly yea as our Sauiour himselâ—e speaketh to be glewed vnto thee inseparably and that by Gods owne appointment and ordinance Againe thy neighbour thou art commanded to loue as thyseâ—fe But the Apostle goeth further and saith He that lâ—uâ—th his wife he loueth himselfe So that thâ— wife is thy selfe not as thy selfe onely Our flesh say the poore speaking of the rich is as their fâ—â—h and therefore a man should nâ—t saith the prophet turne his face from his owne flesh But here man and wife they make but one flesh this knot being once knit they are no more twaine but one flesh And no man saith the Apostle euer hated his owne flesh but loueth and cheerisheth it as Christ doth his Church What more naturall then for parents to loue the children that come of them What more equall then for children to loue their parents that bred and bare them But behold a neerer coniunction betweene married persons man and wife then betweene children and parents in regard whereof God saith that a man shall leaue the one yea if he cannot helpe both he shall neglect the one to adhere and cleaue to the other For this cause shall a man leaue father and mother too and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh For childreÌ„ indeed are part of their parents because they come out of their bowels they are part of their flesh but seuered from them But man wife they are one flesh conioyned not seuered By originall creation as shee came of the man shee is part of his flesh flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone but seuered as it were now from him but by nuptiall coniunction being ioyned to him as his wife shee becommeth not onely part of his flesh as taken from him but one flesh conioyned with him For as bodie and head or flesh and soule make one man so man and wife make one flesh Againe children are said to be part of their parents but parents cannot bee said properly to bee part of their children But here reciprocally the wife is part of the husband and the husband is part of the wife both parts of the same flesh because both making but one flesh Parents are as a fountaine or the body of a riuer children as streames deriued from it and flowing apart Man and wife are as two springs meeting and so ioyning their streames that they make but one current and runne both in one channell that the water of the one and the other cannot be seuered Parents are as a stemme or a stocke children as grifts or slips taken from it and engraffed or planted else-where Man and wife are as those two branches in the Prophets hand enclosed in one barke so closing togither that they make but one peice the same fruit commeth of either If neerenesse of bond therefore be a good ground of loue there being such a neerenesse betweene man and wife as none betweene man and man can goe neerer it must needs binde the husband not onely to loue but to loue his wife with a loue aboue all other loue To make vse then of this point First if a man be thus to loue his wife then the wife is no lesse to loue her husband For Loue we say is Loues loade-stone and there is the like reason for either There is no action or affection so reciprocall as loue as betweene God and man so betweene man and man For example If God be angry with vs we are not to bee angry with him againe hee may haue iust cause to be angry with vs wee can haue no iust cause to bee angry with him If God hate vs yet wee ought not to hate him he may iustly hate vs we cannot iustly hate him if he shew mercy on vs we cannot shew mercy to him we stand in neede of his mercy he hath no neede of our mercy for he is subiect to no misery If he be good to vs we can not be good againe to him for all our goodnesse is nothing to him But God loueth vs and we are to loue him againe we stand bound to loue him though hee hate vs but are bound in a double bond to loue him when he loueth vs In like manner here if the husband be angry with the wife shee is not by and by to be hastie and angry againe with him if hee controle her shee is not therefore to controle him but he is to loue her and shee is likewise to loue him yea though he should hate her yet ought she to loue him for she may not faile in her duty because he faileth in his how much more when he loueth her is shee to loue him For loue requireth loue and loue must requite lâ—ue Yea therefore is shee to loue him the rather to drawe loue from him That which the Apostle also sometime expresseth though for the most part he presumeth it as the loue of parents to their children a thing grounded in nature as is also the other in regard whereof the Apostle Paul hath coupled them together Now as things often inculcated should make vs more ca refull so things taken for granted should make vs more fearefull As the husband therefore must f see to it that he loue his wife because he is so oft called vpon for it so the wife must take heede how she bee faultie and defectiue that way when God taketh it as graunted and therefore accounteth them as monsters in nature that are wanting in it as those that want bowels of loue toward their owne birth Secondly if a man be bound to loue his
wife in this sort then men must take heed how they match with those whom they cannot thus loue and affect whom they cannot thus linke their hearts and affections vnto For there is no affection freer then loue as there is nothing more forcible so nothing that can be lesse forced This is a fault in many who to satisfie friends or to aduance their estates or for some other worldly by-respects match in that manner and so cast themselues foolishly into a fearefull snare which they are neuer able after to wind themselues out of againe Men and women therefore are to be admonished here that they looke ere they leape and that they remember that one had neede to deliberate long and aduise well on that which but once can be determined to pause throughly vpon that that but once can be concluded that being once concluded concludeth them beeing once done cannot bee vndone againe And those that haue already ouershot themselues in this kind they must now striue euen to enforce their affections and craue grace at Gods hand whereby they may be enabled to bring themselues to that disposition that God now requireth of them In a word he that is free may frame his choise to his minde but he that hath chosen must frame his heart to his choise Before hee might conforme his actions to his affection now hee must endeuour to frame his affection to his action Thirdly If the husband must in this manner loue his wife then must hee draw home his affections from louing any other in that sort For if such a singularitie of loue be here required then it can be but one that in this sort is affected As wee reason well that there can not be two Gods because there cannot be two chiefe goods so here there ought not to be two wiues of two husbands because two can not haue the principalitie chiefety in our loue or rather because such loue as this is is or ought to be peculiar and proper to one But the branches and streames of loue are dispersed among many whereas the whole current of it runneth one way betweene twaine This may further be confirmed vnto vs By the law of nature God at the first tooke but one rib from the man and therefore he as wee said that first tooke two wiues is said to haue cut one rib into twaine He made of that one rib but one woman though he had spirit enough to haue made more he brought but one wife Eue to Adam he reserued each man but one in the flood And therfore Let euery man saith the Apostle haue his owne peculiar wife and each woman e her husband By the analogie of faith My beloued is but one saith Christ in the Canticles Though naturally many and of many sorts yet they make but one seede they are mystically all one in him The wife is to her husband as the Church is to Christ Christ hath but one Church and hee must haue but one wife Choose whither Adam thou wilâ— to imitate saith one of the ancients the old or the new the one had buâ— one wife the other hath but one Church The married man therefore is to take heede not onely of imbracing the bosome of a stranger but of admitting or giuing way now to any raunging affections He must know that that which was lawfull for him before is now no more lawfull Not that any sinfull act or desire was euer lawfull but that such desire was not sinfull in thee then as is sinfull in thee now because it is by God now determined and restrained to an obiect Fourthly let the husband take heede of being faultie in this dutie of loue in this inward and entire affection toward his wife which the Apostle of Christ and by him the Spirit of God in so speciall manner requireth and exacteth of him Some duties there are though generally required of all yet in more speciall sort of some and so this dutie of loue of all in generall but of married persons more specially who are therefore more faultie if therein they faile Yea such therefore must take heede not onely of ceasing simply to loue but of leauing their first loue of suffring theiâ— Loue to grow luke-warme not key cold onely that was seruent at the first Howsoeuer as complements abate betweene friend and friend the more familiar they grow so some kinde of daliance betweene new married folkes may after be lesse vsuall yet their loue is to be no lesse rather to encrease then decrease as wee see it is in parents towards children who the longer they haue them the more they affect them and the loather they are to leaue and forgoe them though it may be they are not so fond on them as at first And heere the better to further the practise of this duty it shall not bee amisse taking the same course we did in the former to lay downe some particular effects and fruites of this loue The first is Cohabitation liuing and dwelling peaceably and quietly together Friends we know loue to be oft together and are loath to be sundred Loue as it lincketh in heart so it longeth after the bodily presence of them whom the heart is thereby lincked vnto And it is a sweete sight saith the Psalmist to see brethren dwell together in one how much more man and wife They make but one body and it is against nature for one body to bee in two places at once For the man is the head the woman is as the body for head and body to be sundered it is present death vnto either Not that a man may not be absent yea and long absent too sometime from his wife vpon necessary occasions but that there bee no giuing of way to vnnecessary And surely where loue is there griefe will be that occasions of long or oft absence should be offered And where griefe is that such occasions though necessary should be offered there will be no taking of occasions but such as are necessarily offered Where commeth to bee taxed the foolish and preposterous course that is taken by diuers parents who match their sonnes young to wiues and then send them a trauailing so that they part as soone as they meete ere their affections be wel fastened and so oft either returne with them estranged on their part or at returne finde them estranged on the the other part while their absence hath made way for some strangers enticement As also the practise of those commeth here iustly to be condemned who after marriage vpon euery light iarre or discontent are ready by and by to sequester themselues either from other to breake vp house and part families and so to liue apart Take heede Oh man how thou leauest the wife of thy youth and breakest a bond
flesh by marriage And therfore the husband when he admonisheth he must admonish in loue louing manner when he aduiseth he must aduise in loue and louing manner if he reproue he must do that likewise out of loue and in louing for t with as much sweetnes and mildnesse and with as little seueritie and harshnes as may be but in any wife without bitternesse knowing that there is nothing more coÌ„trary to loue then it The fift dutie of Loue toward the wife is Ioy dâ—ligâ—t in her Driake faith the wise man the wâ—ter of tâ—me owne â—isterne Let thy fountaine be blessed estâ—emeâ— it as a blessing of God for so a good wife is indeede a good blessing and a great and reioyce in the wife of thy youth Let her be vnto thee as thâ— louing Hand and the pleasant Râ—â—eâ— Let her brests or her bosome content thee at â—ll times and delight continually or as the word there is euen * doate on the Loue of her As if the holy Ghost did allow some such priuate daliance behauiour to married persons between themselues as to others might seeme dotage such as it may be was Isaacks sporting with Rebekka which Abimelech vnawares to them ouerlooked In this regard as the wife is said to be vnto her husband his eyes deligâ—t and his hearts-ioy and desire So the bâ—idegroome is said to reioyce in his bride as God doth in his chosen Children and in his Church And this is a necessarie effect of loue For what a man loueth most he desireth most and what he desireth and affecteth most that he most delighteth in Which that a man may the better do he must remember that as euery Christian man may assure himselfe that his present estate what eueâ— it be is best sictest for him so a Christian married man is bound to beleeue and to perswade himselfe not that his wife is the wisest or the fairest or the best conditioned woman in the wâ—rld but that she is the siâ—â—est wife for him that God hath allotted him and therefore rest himself contented in her satisfied with her and liue with as much alacrity cheerefulnes with heâ— as may be And as parents loue and delight in their children not because they are faire or wise and witty but because they are their children and therfore how soeuer seeing better parts in others they could be content to change quality for quality yet they wâ—l not exchange childe for childe so a man is to loue delight in his wife euen for this cauâ—â— because sâ—ee is his wife and howsoeuer it may be he could wish some of her parts bâ—ttered yet to reioyce in her as they are Wherein those are to be taxed that delight rather in the company of others then of their owne wiues thinke what they haue at home is all too â—omely and * what is vsual with them is vnsauory like children that thinke the bread and butter they get abroad sweeter and better then that though indeed better that they are fed withal at home or like queasie-stomacked persons that growing weary of their daily dyet delight more in some fond triâ—le though neither so toothsome nor whole-some Such must know that this is an vnwarrantable and a preposterous affection in them and such preposterous affections commonly as they argue an euill humour so they breede no good bloud The sixth dutie of Loue is the allowance of all necessaries that her neede shall require their estate may afford It is that honour as some vnderstand it it may well be one part of it that is honest meanes and maintenance that the Apostle exacteth for them For so is the word oft taken and vnder that tearme doth our Sauiour Christ shew it to bee comprehended elsewhere And surely if he be condemned as worse thâ—n aâ— infidel that prouideâ—h nâ—t for his family then vndoubted he that prouideth not for his wife the chiefe in the family next himselfe is no bette◠〈◊〉 aâ— brâ—stâ—n man therfore must labour that he may hâ—â—e wherwith to releeue other â—â—ch more that he may haue wherwith to maintaine himselfe and his 〈◊〉 that is and ought to be one with himselfe In regard whereof as the wife is compared to the viâ— so the husband ought to be as the Elme to vphold her and 〈◊〉 Moone shineth with light reâ—câ—ued from the Sunâ—â—e so iâ— she to be furnished with fit supplies allowed hâ—r by him And surely where loue is abounding there will nothing be wanting that may be for her coÌ„fort necessary coÌ„tentment that their ability may well afford And here are such to be coÌ„demned as being blessed by God with a liberall estate carry to strict â—igardly an hand toward their wiueâ— think al lost that iâ— bestowed on theÌ„ to whom God hath giuen an equal interest in the things of this life with theÌ„ For how hath she not all thine with thee when she hath thee And therefore as denying to the poore whom God hath enioyned vs to releeue what we may spare their necessity requiring it giueth them a kinde of interest vnto it we deny them their own so much more in denying her what is needfull for her thou deniest her her own thou with-holdest from her her own that which the mariage bond hath giuen her a special right vnto Againe those are here to be condemned that liue like drones on their wiues labours wasting all that is gathered togither by their industrie Of whom wee cannot say that the Moone shineth with the Suns light but the Sun shineth with the Moones light that is the husband shines with the spoiles of his wife whom he ought to maintaine as the Sunne enlighteneth the Moone As also those that spend riotously the portion they haue with their wiues then leaue them to the wide world to shift for themselues like those that climbe take paines to get nuts which hauing crackt eaten the kernell out of they cast the shels vnder-bord And generally all that mispend that though earned with their owne hands or left them by friends that should maintaine house wife with Such must know that they robbe wife and children and themselues of what they wast in that sort and so are no better then such as rob by the high way side For it is no lesse sin to rob them then to rob a meere stranger whom a man is more neerely tied vnto then he is to any stranger And therefore as he that robbeth his father and mother so he that robs wife children and saith it is no sin is companion to a destroyer or next neighbour to a murtherer as m the word vsed there may wel signifie The last but not the least Office of loue is the diligent endeuouring of the wiues spirituall good which if he loue her as he ought he cannot nor will not neglect In