Selected quad for the lemma: love_n
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A61199
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The bride-womans counseller being a sermon preach'd at a wedding, May the 11th, 1699, at Sherbourn, in Dorsetshire / by John Sprint.
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Sprint, John.
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1699
(1699)
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Wing S5084; ESTC T29597
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9,973
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16
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the same Disease All Evils as Elements are most troublesome out of their proper Places as Profaness in Ministers whose Work it is to beat it down Injustice in Judges whose Office it is to condemn it and Discomfort in a Wife who was made to be a Comfort 'Twas this that gave rise to the Proverb of Solomon Prov. 21.9 'Tis better to live in a corner of a House Top than with a brawling Woman in a wide House 'Tis much more desirable to live poorly and solitary in the open Air exposed to all the Injuries of the Weather nay to thrust into a little corner on the Top of the House than to have a spatious Habitation and numerous Family govern'd by a contentious Wife whose perpetual Scolding and Brawling within doors upon the least Occasion is more intolerable than the Thunder and Lightning and blustring Winds which may molest him without 'Tis an hundred pities says Mr. Swynnock that the Tongues of such Shrews have not as many Blisters as their Jaws have Teeth and 'tis never better with their Husbands than when they are hoarse To conclude this Head whilst the good Wife that is careful to oblige her Husband makes both him and her self happy the imperious clamorous and turbulent Wife that at every word spits Passion and Poison is a Torment and Vexation to her self and a pernicious Plague to her Husband 2. I come now in the Second place to shew how and which way married Women must endeavour to please their Husbands And here there are three things they ought to do 1. To Love them 2. To Honour them 3. To Obey them All which you do solemnly Covenant and Engage before God Angels and Men when your Nuptial Rites are perfom'd I have heard some Women say indeed that they never did nor would say those Words after the Minister but I think then those Ministers were very remiss in their Office and had I been to have officiated those Women should have been content to have stay'd for Husbands till they had been willing to have spoken out Love Honour and Obey which are Duties the performance of which is absolutely necessary to maintain both the Honour and Happiness of a Married State and is the only proper Method that Women can take to please their Husbands as I shall shew more particularly First Every married Woman in order to please her Husband ought to love him Let every Woman love her Husband as the chiefest and best for her of Ten Thousands for whose sake she can forget her own People and her Father's Family with whose Company and Converse she can be contented and pleased should all the VVorld besides be annihilated and tho' even Nature does teach a VVoman to love her Husband yet God does also enjoin it Tit. 2.4 That they may teach the young Women to be sober and to love their Husbands c. Partly saith one because some Women have put off Nature and are become wild without Natural Affection and partly because God would have the Wife's Love to her Husband to proceed not so much from an Instinct of Nature as from Obedience to Scripture And the Apostles confines this precept to Young VVomen too thereby suggecting to us that 'tis the Duty of a VVoman newly married especially to use all means to endear her Husband to her self and her self to her Husband and carefully to avoid all Occasion of Differences with her Husband at her first Entrance into that State Agreeable to which I remember Plutarch amongst his Conjugal Precepts hath this for one viz. That it behoves those People that are newly married to avoid the first Occasion of Discord and Dissention considering that Vessels newly formed and subject to be bruised and put out of shape by many slight accidents but when the Materials come to be settled and hardned by Time nor Fire nor Sword will hardly prejudice the Solid Substance 'Tis a common foolish Pactice of young Women during the Time of Courtship to use all the Arts and Methods they can contrive or devise to charm their Lovers and captivate the Affections of those who make their Addrsses to them you may read Come love me in the pleasantness of their Looks in the neatness of their Dress in the Discretion of their Words in the obligingness of their Carriage and Deportment but they are no sooner married but they grow as remiss and careless in their Endeavours to please their Husbands as before they were zealous in arting their Charms Now their pleasant Smiles are turn'd into Frowns the neatness of their Dress into Sluttery She who opened her Mouth with Wisdom in whose Tongue was the Law of Kindness now speaks unadvisedly with her Lips and carries her self so disrespectful towards her Husband as if she studied how to disoblige him and to alienate his Affections from her by which means many times Women make themselves to become the Wives of Madmen and Sots whereas had they been as careful after their Marriage to have pleas'd their Husbands as they were before they might have made their Husbands happy and themselves too and had they had that Conjugal Love which they ought to have had they would have done it for Love is an Affection that will render Persons active and diligent to content and please those who are beloved by them and when the Wife has so much Love for her new Husband as to make her careful to oblige and fearful to offend him in process of time she will soon engage his Affections to her as that she may defy the World to alienate them from her VVhen two Boards are first glued together a small matter will loosen them but if carefully looked to till they are well fastened and the Glue be hardned 'twill not be an easy matter to disjoint or sever them Secondly Married VVomen in order to please their Husbands ought to honour them The Persian Ladies have the resemblance of a Foot worn on the top of their Coronets in token that the height of their Glory Top-knot and all does stoop to their Husbands Feet And here the Honour which is due from the VVife to the Husband is either First Internal or Secondly External First Internal And this is when she cherisheth an high Esteem of him in her Mind when she thinks on him as one whom God hath appointed and ordained to be her Superiour and Head The Apostle 1. Cor. 11.7 calls the VVoman the Glory of the Man and that too as one thinks for this Reason because 'tis an high Honour to him that so Excellent a Creature as a VVoman is should be his Inferiour Surely then a VVoman that harboureth mean and contemptuous Thoughts of her Husband is her Husband's Shame and Disgrace and tho' VVomen may think that their Thoughts are free that they are at Liberty to think as they please yet let them know that the Heart-searching God takes Cognizance of their Thoughts and is very much displeased when he finds any to be such as are beneath the Dignity
THE Bride-Womans COVNSELLER BEING A SERMON PREACH'D at a WEDDING May the 11th 1699 at Sherbourn in Dorsetshire 1 COR. Chap. 7. Ver. 34. But she thrt is Married careth for the things of the World how she may please her Husband By JOHN SPRINT London Printed by H. Hills in Black-fryars near the Water-side For the Benefit of the Poor The EPISTLE to the READER Courteous READER WHEN thou hast perused this Discourse thou wilt see Cause enough to believe me if I tell thee it was designed only for the Pulpit not for the Press but it hath so fallen out that the Doctrine therein contained is so unhappily represented to the World by some ill-natur'd Females that I am necessitated to offer it to a Publick View by means of which tho' I shou'd purchase the Character of a Block-head yet I hope I shall get the advantage of convincing the World that I am not such an impudent Villain as my waspish Accusers have reported me to be Be it known unto thee Reader whosoever thou art that I have not met with one Woman among all my Accusers whose Husband is able to give her the Character of a dutiful and obedient Wife I observe also that good Wives are no more offended with my discourse than modest Matrons are when vile Strumpets are painted in their proper Colours the most that such have to say is that I might have done well to have said as much to the Men which for their satisfaction I will promise to do when I see this Discourse hath had that happy Success as to reform those imperious Wives who never think their Husbands love them well unless they will obey them too Upon the whole I find 'tis Womens Guilt which makes them so uneasy and puts them to that pain which they feel in their Consciences for which I know no better an Anodyne than a speedy Repentance and Reformation which if they neglect in despight of all their loud noise and clamours the Truths which I here publish will pursue them to Judgment and there witness against them not only as Traitors to their Husbands whose Authority they usurp but as Rebels to the Great Monarch of the World whose Sacred Laws they Impiously violate Farewel 1 COR. Chap. 7. Ver. 34. But she that is Married careth for the things of the World how she may please her Husband THE Word Careth in the Original signifieth more than ordinary Care and implies a dividing of the Mind into divers Thoughts casting this way and that way and every way how to give best content Finding no other Verbal Difficulties I shall leave Words and pass to Things and shall lay the Foundation of my Discourse in this Proposition It is a Duty incumbent on all Morried Women to be extraordinary careful to content and please their Husbands From which Doctrine I shall take occasion faithfully to present the Duty of married Women to their Husbands Obj. And why so may the Women say why could not you have pitch'd upon v. 33. and have taken occasion from thence to have told married Men their Duty to their Wives Or if we must be told our Duty why could you not have come to a Composition with us and have brought our Husbands in to have shared with us A. Truly I foresaw not only these but a whole Iliad of Female Objections would be started against my Design but if Reason may take place I hope I am able to silence them all And here amongst the many Reason which might be produc'd to justify my Attempt I shall only offer to your Consideration these few 1. Because the Woman's Duty is harder and more difficult than that of the Man Precepts for Ruling and Governing are more taking and have a more pleasing relish than those which enjoyn Subjection and Obedience You Women will acknowledge that Men can learn to command and rule fast enough which as Husbands they ought to do but 'tis very rare to find that Women learn so fast to Submit and obey which as Wives they ought to do Women have need of Line upon Line Precept upon Precept here a Little and there a Little and all little enough to make them perfect in their Lesson 2. Because Women are of weaker Capacities to learn than Men and therefore when they have a hard and difficult Lesson and but weak Abilities to learn it they had need of more Help and Assistance afforded them and so it behoves us not only to tell them their Duty in Conjunction with their Husbands but also to teach them singly and by themselves 3. Because that according to the Observation which I have made most of those Distractions and Disturbances which have attended a Married Life and that have brought so much Reproach and Disgrace on that Honourable State are owing to the Indiscretion and Folly if not to the Obstinacy and Stubborness of disobedient Wives and I shall not scruple to affirm that the number of those bad Husbands which their Wives have made so is greater by far than the Number of those whom their Wives have found so when they were first married 4. Because the Love of a Husband does very much depend upon the Obedience of a Wife Stubbornness and Obstinacy in a Wife may check and quench the Affections of an Husband but are no proper Methods to kindle and enflame themselves When the Wife becomes pliant and yielding to her Husband's VVill and Desire she then lead him captive at her pleasure and leaves him so fast bound in the golden Fetters of Love that she may do even with him what she pleases An obedient Wife says one is the likeliest Woman in the World to command her Husband So that in plain Terms you are more afraid than hurt and instead of being so scrupulous of having your Duty told you you should use your utmost Diligence to learn and practise it if ever you mean to have your Husbands loving and kind to you 5. Because that all that pretend to is to lay your Duty before you and shall I therefore become your Enemy because I am come to tell you the Truth As for good VVives the Knowledge and Practise of their Duty is so comfortable and pseasant to them that I am sure they are not listed in the number of these Objectors and I wish that where there is one of these there where a thousand as for Bad ones I am sure they have need of being told their Duty more than a little and of this sort I wish there were none at all And if by poor Endeavours in this Discourse I can but be instrumental either of lessening their Number or of preventing their Increase I shall obtain my End Under the shelter of these Reasons I shall adventure in the Face of all Objections to persue my Design which is to prosecute this Doctrine viz. That 'tis a Duty incumbent on all married Women to be extraordinary Careful to content and please their HUSBANDS which I shall do in this Method 1. Prove