reuerent head was crowned with thornes and smitten with a reede Howe his diuine face was spit vpon How the King of eternall glory adored in heauen with so many legions of Angelles was in earth with fained reuerence and honor scorned and mocked by a most vile infamous people By these or other points if thou be desirous to kindle in thy hart the affection of loue enforce thy selfe with meditation of them to increase more and more in the knowledge of the infinite goodnesse of thy Lord and of his loue towards thee who for thee hath suffered so much and also to inflame thy selfe more and more in a louing affection towards him out of this same goodnes and loue of his thou maist easily bring forth in thy self contrition and sorrow for hauing offended so good and loueing a Lord who for thy iniquitie was thus euill handled and abused in so diuerse manners To raise thy selfe in hope consider that a Lord so great was brought to such miserie to deliuer thee from the snares of sinne and of the diuell to reconcile his eternall Father vnto thee and to giue thee firme confidence in all thy neede to haue recourse vnto him In like manner thou shalt procure spirituall ioy by passing from his paines to their effects that is considering that by them he purged thy sinnes and the sinnes of the whole world he pacified the wrath of his father draue away the prince of darkenesse killed death brought vnto the fold againe the strayed sheep and filled againe the vacant seats of Angells Moreouer moue thy selfe to ioy by memorie of that ioy that the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost and all the Church triumphant and millitant therby receiued To moue thee to sorrow and compassion of thy most afflicted Sauior besides the meditation of the aforesaide paines of his body enter with thy thought to other greater of his most sacred soule That he knowing the most high dignitie and goodnesse of his father and louing him aboue all vnderstanding did grieue aboue measure for the offences of his creatures committed against him and moreouer he sustained inspeakable sorrow for so many precious soules that he did see should bee condemned eternally for their sinnes And besides this that sword of sorrow did pearce his heart that pearced the heart of his most afflicted mother And his tender heart felt exceeding griefe for the torments that he did foresee in his eternall wisedome so many Martyres and tender virgins were to suffer for his loue Besides this aduise that in all these sorrowes thou hast to take compassion of thy Sauior in such manner as I haue said withall I aduertise thee yea the same Sauior doth also require of thee that thou haue another kinde of more true compassion the which is that thou attend hereafter to persecute thy self wills which haue caused these his wounds the which thou mayest as it were anoint with sorrow for thy ingratitude But to moue thee to the hatred of sin thou shalt apply all the points of thy meditation to this end only as if thy Lord and Sauiour had suffered for no other end but to enduce thee to hate thy euill inclinations and that euil especially which dooeth most molest thee and most displease his diuine goodnesse Last of all to moue thee to admiration consider attentiuely who he is that suffereth to witte the word incarnate the same God who for thee was made man for whom he suffered for vs most vile creatures that alwaies haue offended him Of whom he suffered of all kind of most wicked people and the refuse of the common sort The paines that he suffered and they are most vnworthy full of shame and of torment great and horrible aboue al estimation And that thou mayest more maruaile weigh well the maner and the mind wherewith he suffered But beleeue that thou art not able to comprehēd it as it was indeede since that it passeth all vnderstanding how that poore and most humble Sauior amongst so many anguishes and shames shewed an in uincible pacience towards those cruell minds fierce and enraged against him he alwaies kept the same heart full of sweetnesse and pure loue Of sensible Deuotion and of Ariditie or Drienesse Chap. 28. SEnsible Deuotion proceedeth sometimes of nature sometimes of the diuell and sometimes of grace by the fruits thou shalt know from whence it commeth for if there folownot in thee amend ment of life thou art to doubt lest it be of the diuell or els of nature and so much the more by how much it shal be accompanied with greater taste of sweetnesse And therefore when thou shalt perceiue thy mind to be sweetned with spirituall taste stand not to dispute from whence it commeth nor leaue vnto it neither let thy selfe be drawne from the knowledge of thy nothing and with greater diligence hatred of thy self remoue from thy heart all affectiō of what thing soeuer desiring God onely and his pleasure for by this meane whether it be of nature or of the diuel it wil become to thee as of grace Ariditie or Drienesse may proceed in like manner from the three aforesayde causes from the diuell for to make thy minde luke-warme and draw it back from the spiritual exercise to worldly delights of our selues through our fault and negligence of grace either to admonish vs that we bee more dilligent to leaue euery occupation that is not of God and that tendeth not to him or to vnite our selues more nearely vnto him with a full resignation of our selues euen in spirituall delights to the end that our affection being fastned to these things we may not diuide our hart which he would haue wholy to himselfe Therefore if thou feele thy selfe drie or cold enter into thy selfe see for what defect the sensible deuotion is withdrawne from thee and wage batle against that not to recouer the sensibility of grace but to take away that which displeseth the eies of God And see that in no sort thou leaue off thy spiritual exercise but continue them with all thy force though they seeme vnto thee neuer so vnprofitable and be willing to drinke of that bitter cup which that drines presenteth vnto thee the which although it should be sometimes accompanied with so many obscurities and such thicke darknesse of mind that thou knowe not whither to turne thee nor what course to take yet neuerthelesse content thy selfe with present desolation and stand firme in thy crosse farre off from all earthly delights although they should be offered vnto thee by the world or by creatures conceale thy passion from any person except thy ghostly father if thou may haue accesse vnto him vnto whom thou shalt discouer it not to haue comfort but to be instructed how to support it according to the pleasure of God As for thy receiuing prayers and other spirituall exercises or what other thing soeuer vse them not to ease thy paine but to receiue strength to suffer it and if
any vnderstanding created Secondly cōsider the gift which is his onely Sonne of maiesty and of greatnesse equall with his father and of the same substance and nature with him Now if a little and vile thing that comes from the hand of an earthly King be so much esteemed and accounted of in respect of the giuer what account shal be made of this celestiall gift and the same of incōprehensible excellency being indeede the very true Son of God true God and giuen vs by God himself Moreouer lift vp thy selfe to thinke of the eternitie of this Loue by the which before all times it was decreed in his most high wisdome to giue thee himselfe being an infinite good reioycing from the bottome of thy hart reason thus with thy self and is it euen so that euen in that endlesse eternitie my misery was so greatly loued and esteemed that my God did think vppon me and desired with an ardent will to giue me himself for food Finally turne thy thought to the puritie of the loue that so great a Lord hath shewed vnto thee weigh ing wel that it is not as wordly loues are mingled with some interest of his or desert of thine because onely through his owne bountie and charity he hath wholy giuen him selfe to thee Thus sweetely pondering with thy selfe thou mayest say in thy heart Ah my Lorde wherefore louest thou mee so much thy vnworthy creature what wouldest thou with me O King of Glory that am but a little dust I perceiue well O Lord in the fire of thy charity that thou hast one onely dissignement which sheweth me thy diuine loue to be the purer sith that thou giuest mee thy loue for no other end but that I may giue thee mine and wholy thou giuest thee to me that I may wholy giue my self to thee and this not for anie need that thou hast of me but because that I liuing in thee may by the vnion of loue bee vnited vnto thee and that the vilenesse of my earthly heart may be made one diuine heart with thee The which thing considered thou shalt offer thy selfe to the good pleasure of God with the greatest affectiō that possibly thou canst being ready with an inflamed desire alwayes to followe his most blessed will And when thou shalt feele this desire wel kindled in thee thou shalt see with thy mind a great will and desire that hee hath that the next day following thou doe open thy heart vnto him that hee may enter and abide with thee and suppe with thee and delight himselfe together with thee Whereupon thou shalt stirre vp in thy selfe a desire to receiue him with these iaculatory prayers Ah heauenly and diuine Manna when shall that houre come that I may receiue thee to thy contentment When shall I be vnited vnto thee by true loue When for thee O life of my soule shall I forsake all mine owne will and all my imperfections And with these and other like iaculatory prayers and with consideration of the pointes aforesaide both the euening and the morning thou shalte kindle this desire in thee to receiue him to bee vnited vnto him and to please him And see that being collected into thy selfe thou keepe the powers of thy soule voyd and free from all curiositie vaine thoughts and earthlie affection and the senses of thy body as it were fasting from the delight of their seueral obiects And after thou hast receiued him shut vp thy selfe in the closet of thy heart and in this or such like maner talk with thy Sauiour O King of kings what hath brought thee vnto me that am wretched miserable poore blind and naked and he will answer thee Loue O loue vncreated O sweet loue what desirest thou of me No other thing saieth hee but loue no other fire would I haue to burne in the earth of thy heart but the fire of my loue that it may consume all other loue and burne vp all thy selfe-will this I demaund because I desire to be wholly thine and that thou mayest be wholly mine The which cā neuer be whilst thou not making a full resignation of thy selfe which so much delighteth mee still doost remaine fastened to the loue of thy selfe and to thine owne iudgement and conceits to euery little will of thine and to the reputation of thy selfe I demand of thee the hatred of thy self for to giue thee my loue I demand thy heart that it may enter and vnite it selfe with mine for this was the cause why mine was opened vppon the crosse I desire of thee O my louing soule that thou will nothing thinke nothing vnderstand nothing see nothing out of me so that I also may will vnderstand think and see all things in thee in such manner that thy nothing may be swallowed vp in the depth of my infinite goodnes and be conuerted into it And thus thou shalt be in me most happie and I content in thee In the end after this thou shalt offer to God the father his sonne for thy selfe for the whole world and for the souls departed with the memorie and vnion of that oblation which then he made of himselfe when he hanged bloudy vppon the crosse And thou maist in this maner offer vp al the sacrifices wich are offered vp that day in the holy Church Of spirituall Receiuing Chap. 31. ALthough thou canst not receiue thy Sauior more then once a day sacramentally notwithstanding thou maiest receiue him spiritually euery houre and moment And this cannot be taken from any creature but by their owne negligence or other voluntary fault And sometimes it may proue that this spiritual receiuing shall be more profitable to our selues and acceptable to God then many other Sacramentall receiuings in respect of the wants and defects of them that receiue Therefore how oft soeuer thou shalt dispose and prepare thy selfe to this spiritual receiuing thou shalt find the Sonne of God ready with his owne proper hands to feede thee spiritually with himself And thou maist prepare thy selfe in this manner Turne thy selfe to him for this end and briefely consider thy defects be sorie that thou hast offended him and with a louing affection craue of him that he wil vouchsafe to come into thy poore soule to feede it with himself or otherwise when thou goest about to vse violence to thy selfe or to mortifie any passion in thee or to exercise any act of vertue do it to this end and turne thee to thy Sauior and cal vpon him with a feruent desire in the secret of thy soule Or again finally calling to mind the last time that thou didst receiue before say with an inflamed desire when my god shall I receiue thee another time in the Scrament of the alter ah why comest thou not now with the same vertue spiritually vnto me Of Thankesgiuing Chap. 32. BEcause all the good we do is of God and from God we are bound to render vnto him alone humble thanks for euery good action of ours and
dimmed and beholding onely their externall acts which are good they attribute to themselues many degrees of perfection And thus puft vppe with pride they become iudges of others and there is left no means of their conuersion but by the extraordinary goodnes and help of God for it is more easie to reduce to well doing an open and publike sinner then one that sinnes secretly and is couered with the cloake of apparent vertue Thou seest therefore good daughter most plainely that the trueth of spirituall life is not to be found in the aforesaid things in that maner that we haue spoken of And thou must vnderstand that it consisteth in no other thing but in a true knowlege of the bountie and greatnes of God and of our owne littlenesse or nothing and naturall inclination to all euill in the hatred of our selues and in the loue of God in the full abnegation of our owne will and in resigning it to the will of God subiecting our selues not only to him but for his loue to euery creature and all this for no other end but onely to please him and bicause he deserues thus to be loued and serued This is the denying of our selues which our Redeemer doth seeke in vs. This is the obedience whereunto he calleth his faithfull seruants both by word and example This is the crosse which by his sweetest law of loue is laide vppon their shoulders To this loue and tru charity so oft and particularly in his last Supper hee inuiteth his deare Disciples with all his friends and children And because thou aspiring to the top of so great perfection must vse force with thy selfe and couragiously ouercome thy owne will both in great and little things it behooueth thee of necessity with al redinesse of mind to prepare thy selfe to this combate sith the crowne of so great a victorie is not giuen but to them that fight valiantly This battel as of all other it is the hardest so the victorie gotten by the same is of all other most glorious and most deare vnto God For if thou attend to tread downe and to kill all thy disordered appetites and desires euen the very least thou shalt doo a thinge more pleasing and a greater seruice to Almightie God then if keeping any one of them voluntarilye aliue thou shouldest whip thy selfe till the bloud ran downe or shouldest faste more then the old Hermets and Anchorites or shouldest conuert to good life thousands of soules for although the conuersion of soules be more deare to our Sauior in it selfe then the mortification of one sinal passion of our will yet notwithstanding thou oughtest not to wil or work any thing more principally then that which the same Sauiour most stricktly wills and requires of thee and hee without doubt is more pleased that thou shouldst labor with thy selfe to mortifie thy passions then that leauing one vnmortified in thee thou shouldst serue him in anye other thing though greater and of more moment in it selfe Now then O daughter since thou feest wherein Chri stian Perfection consisteth and that to obtaine the same thou must take vppon thee a continuall and sharpe warre it is necessary that thou like a valiant champion and enemie of thy selfe do prouide thee of foure things as necessarie armour to the end thou mayst get the victorie and remaine a conqueresse in this spirituall battell and these be first distrust of thy selfe second confidence in God third exercise fourth and prayer of al which by the helpe of God I will intreat particularly and briefely Of the Distrust of our selues Chap. 2. THe distrust of thy selfe is obtained three maner of waies First that thou acknowledge and consider deep ly thine own vilenesse and nothing and that indeede thou canst not obtaine any thing that is good of thy selfe a man beeing no more able to doe anye good meritorious woorke then a stone that I may so say is abl of it self to go vpwards we hauing noles inclination to euill then the said stone to the centre of the earth The secondis that thou with humble prayers demand the same of God for it is his gift and to obtain it thou must first of all beholde thy selfe as bare and naked of the same and altogither vnable to attain vnto it of thy selfe and hauing done this then present thy self before the maiestie of God with an assured hope that his diuine bountie wil grant it vnto thee and thus presenting thy self oftentimes before thy Lord and with perseuerance expecting it from his liberall handes so long as shall seeme best to his diuine prouidence without doubt thou shalt obtaine it The third way is that as oft as thou shalt chaunce to fal into any defect thou sodainely turne the eies of thy mind vnto thy afore saide weaknesse and vnablenesse to do good which vntill it be knowne to the botome and acknowledged thou shalt neuer cease to fall For euery one that will be vnited vnto tâ—at light and vncreated veritie the true knowledge of himselfe is necessarie which knowledge the diuine clemency is accustomed commonly to giue to the prowde and presumptuous by suffering them to fall calling them by the same to true knowledge of their owne impotency and nothing And so much God permitteth them to fall more or lesse by how much their pride is greter or lesse so that where there were no presumption or pride as in the blessed virgine Mary there was not there likewise there should be no fall So that if at any time thou happen to fall haue recourse presently with thy cogitations to the humble acknowledging of thy selfe and with earnest praier beseech thy Sauiour to giue thee true light that thou maist-perfectly know thy self if thou be not willing to fall againe into more grieuous defaultes Of the Trust and Confidence in God Chap. 3 THe distrust of our selues although in this battell it be so needfull as we haue said before yet notwithstanding if we haue but it onely either we shall runne away from the battell or abiding stil be vanquished ouercome of our enemies And therefore besides this it is also necessary to haue our whole trust confidence in God hoping and expecting from him alone all good and helpe whatsoeuer And this in like maner is obtained three maner of wayes The first in demanding it of his diuine maiestie The second by considering beholding with the eieof our faith his omnipotencie and infinite wisedome to the which nothing is impossible or difficult And that his boun tie beeing without measure with an vnspeakable desire he standeth ready and prepared euery houre yea euery moment to giue vnto vs all that which is needefull for spirituall life and the entire victory of our selues And how can it be possible that our heauenly shepheard who for the space of thirtie three yeeres folowed this strayed sheepe with so lowde cries that there with he became as it were hoarce and that also by a way so laborious and thorny
that he shed al his pretious bloud finally lost his life Now when this same sheepe followeth him calleth vpon him and prayeth vnto him hee wil not turne his eies of life vnto it and heare it and lay it vppon his diuine shoulders reioycing thereof with his neighbors and Angelles in heauen And who can euer be leeue that God who standeth continuallye knocking at the heart of man desiring to enter in and to suppe with him and communicate his guiftes vnto him when man openeth his heart and inuiteth him will then notwithstanding in good earnest turn a deafe eare vnto him and refuse to enter The third meane to obtain this holy confidence trust is to call to minde the veritie of the holy scriptures which in so many places do teach vs that he which trusted in God was neuer confounded There maye bee added to these aforesaid another meane to obtain at one time both the distrust of our selues and the confidence in God and it is this When thou takest anie thing in hand before thou determine it and resolue to do it consider thy owne debility and the power and goodnesse of God and then determine to beginne thy worke And if thou obserue not this order although it seeme to thee that thou dost all thy actions virtually in the confidence of God yet thou shalt finde thy selfe very farr deceiued for man of himselfe being very apt to presumption the right way to woorke with the distrust of our selues and with confidence in God is that the consideration of our owne nothing and of Gods omnipotencie goe alway before our worke And it is also to be obserued that it shall oftentimes seeme vnto thee that thou hast obtaind this distrust of thy selfe and confidence in God and yet it is not so and the effect which will proceed of thy often fallinges shall make this manifest vnto thee If therfore when by chance thou fallest thou be vnquiet deiected and perceiue thy self to bee brought to a kinde of despaire of beeing able to goe forward and to doe well it is an euident sign that thou diddest trust in thy selfe and not in God and if thy sadnes and distrust be great great was thy confidence in thy selfe litle was thy trust in God For hee that altogether distrusteth himselfe and trusteth in God when he falles he woondereth not at it he is not deiected or discouraged acknowledging that this doth happen throgh his owne weakenes neyther doth diminish his confidence in God but hating aboue all things the sinne which he is fallen into with a quiet and a peaceable sorrowe for the offence of his diuine maiestie with lesse trust in himself and greater confidence in God with greater corage thā before folows his enterprise and pursues his enemies euen to death Would to God that these things were wel considered of certaine persons that pretend to be spiritual who when they fall into any defect can not nor wil not be in quiet som times by reason of this anxiety rather then for anye other respect wil needes out of hand go seek their gostly father vnto whome they ought to haue recourse principally to wash themselues from sin and also to get strength against the same by the most holy Sacrament of the aultar Of Exercise and first of the Understanding which we ought to keepe free from curiositie and ignoraunce Chap. 4. IF we haue but onely the distrust of our selues and confidence in God we shall neuer be able to get the victorie of our selues but rather shall runne headlong into all kind of euill And therefore besides these Exercise the third thing mentioned before is necessarie This Exercise must bee practised principally with the Vnderstanding and Will The Vnderstanding must bee kept from twoo things from ignorance and from curiositie From ignorance that it may bee bright and cleare to know that which is necessary for the ouercomming of our vitious passions which light may be obtained two maner of waies The first and principall is praier praying vnto the holy ghost that he will vouchsafe to infuse the same into our hearts The other a continuall exercise of a profound consideration of things as they are in themselues and not as they appeare to be for thus exercising our selues we come to know the truth of those things which are truely good and the falsehood and vanitie of the other which neuer performe that which they promise in shew take away the peace of our heart Now deare daughter be attentiue to that which I shal say vnto thee for it is of great importance that thou mayst well know the nature and qualitie of those things which by sundrie occasions present themselues before thee it behoueth thee to haue a speciall care to haue thy will purged and free from all loue and affection that is not God or a meane to bring thee to God For that the vnderstanding may discerne well and rightly it is necessary that it do behold and consider the obiect set before it before that the will do fasten the affection vppon it for at that time the vnderstanding is free and cleare and wel able to discerne but if the will haue once placed thaffection the vnderstanding then doth not discouer the thing as it is For so much as that affection which is placed in the midst darkneth in such sort the vnderstanding that it esteemeth better of the same then it is in effect and for such sheweth it vnto the will which by that is brought to loue it more ardently By which increase of loue the Vnderstanding is yet more blinded and thus blinded it maketh the thing to seem vnto the will farre more louelie and good then before wherby it comes to passe that these two powers miserably continue euer to walke as in a circle from darknesse into more obscurity and from error into greater errors and therefore thou must bee very diligent and vigilant in this point neuer to set thy affection vppon any thing whatsoeuer if it bee not first knowne and well examined by the light of vnderstanding but especially by the light of grace and prayer the which I exhort thee to do not onely in all other things but euen in them also which are holy and good for although they be so in themselues yet it may happen that for circumstance of time of place and of measure or in respect of obedience they be not so for thee and therfore many persons in very commendable and holy exercises haue indaungered themselues Also wee must keepe our vnderstanding with great warinesse from curiositie that it know not any thing that may let or hinder our victorie for which cause thou must pursue to the death all curiositie of earthly things not necessarie although they be lawfull restrain euer thy vnderstanding what thou canst and loue to make it foolish newes or alterations of the world be they great or little let them be to thee as though they were not at all And
him that if he were in health he might better serue God helpe himselfe his and some others and by little and little he continues heating this desire in him in such fort that he maketh him vnquiet because he cannot attend to those good exercises and by how much more the desire is kindled by so much more the disquietnesse is made greater in such sort that before he be aware thereof he is brought to be impacient with his infirmitie not as an infirmitie but as an impediment to do those workes which vnquietly he desired when afterwards he hath broght him to this point the craftie enemie by a subtill meane taketh from his mind the intentiō of the diuine seruice and leaues him the naked desire to deliuer himself from the infirmitie And because this succeedeth not as hee would he becommeth altogither vnquiet and impacient and thus leauing vertue falleth into vice The remedy of this is when thou findest thy selfe in any troublesome estate to beware thou giue no place in thy self to the desires of what good so euer which at that time thou being not able to performe them may happen to disquiet thee for thy great profit To this purpose I doe aduertise thee that it often happeneth that a man being impacient for the paine or trouble that doth grieue him couereth the vice of his impatience vnder the pretence of zeale of some good wherevpon the sicke man impatient for his disease saith that his impacience is not for the paine of sicknes but because he hath bin the cause of it or because hee is a trouble or hinderaunce to others or because hee cannot attend to sundrie exercises and workes of the spirit Thus the ambitious man that cannot obtain his desired dignity whilst he complaines of others doth couer himselfe with saying that this doth not grieue him for himself but for his family for his friends or for other respects And that these men doe deceiue themselues it is 〈◊〉 apparant because they are not troubled nor disquieted when by some other means or by other persons the same effects come to passe which they seemed to mislike vnder the which they couered the vice and their defect For example thou sayst that thy disease doth not trouble thee for thy selfe but for the irksomnesse of them that serue thee notwithstanding if those same persons feele the same irksomnesse throgh the infirmity of others thou takest no thought for it whereby it is euident that the whole root of thy sorrow was in thee and for thy felfe onely and not for others and this may be said in euery like thing Moreouer I aduertise thee that if thou patiently beare any crosse thou neuer suffer thy self to be ouertaken with a desire to lay it alway◠because from this proceed two losses th one is that if this desire take not away thy pacience at that time yet by litle and litle it wil dispose thee to impatience The other is that thou shalt merit only then for that small time wherein thou sufferest whereas if that thou hadst not desired thy deliuerance but hadst fully resigned thy selfe vnto God although in effect thy suffering had bin but for one houre onely thy Sauior would haue aknowledged it for a seruice of a long time Wherefore in this and in euery other thing let it be a general rule alwaies to keepe thy desire so spoiled of euery other obiect that onely thou desire alwaies and in al things purely and simply the diuine pleasure For in this manner seeing that nothing can happen to thee without thy own fault but as much as pleaseth the diuine Maiestye thou shalt neuer be afflicted nor troubled nor shalt leaue off the way of perfection And the lawful means which some times are needefull to be vsed to deliuer thy selfe from hurtfull things let them not be with touch of self-selfe-loue because thou louest to be deliuered but because it pleaseth God that thou vse them In what sort our aduersarie endeuoureth with al his force that the vertues which we haue obtained may be an occasion of our ruine Chap. 19. THe craftie and malignant serpent dooth not faile to tempt vs also in the vertues which we haue obtained that they may be the occasions of our ruine whilest we delighting in them come to be lifted vp on high to fall afterwardes into the vice of pride But to auoyde this danger fight alwayes sitting in the plaine and sure field of a tru profound knowledge of thy selfe that thou art nothing knowest no thing thou canst do nothing and thou hast no other thing of thy selfe but eternall damnation And be alwayes watchfull and vigilant that thou keep aloofe off euery thought that bringeth thee from this know ledge for the same being thy enemy if it cannot kill thee at least it will leaue thee wounded and that thou mayest the better comprehend the trueth of this marke wel this case folowing As oft as thou shalt turne thee to the consideration of thy selfe alwayes consider thy selfe with that which is thine and not with that that is of God and of his grace and esteeme thy selfe such as with thine thou doest finde thee to be If thou consider the time before thou wast thou shalt see that in all that eternitie thou wast a meere nothing that thou didst not worke or couldest woorke any thing to deserue thy being In this time after sithence that by the only goodnesse of God thou hast thy being leauing to god that which is his that is the continuall gouernement with the which he ruleth preserueth thee with that which thou hast of thy selfe what other thing art thou but in like maner a nothing It is therefore euident that in this thy first naturall being standing with thine owne thou hast not in any respect reason to esteeme thy selfe or to desire to be esteemed of others Nowe as concerning thy good estate of grace and abilitie to doe good things thy nature spoyled of Gods diuine help what good thing could it euer doe of it selfe where also considering thy many euills past and more then that the multitude of other euill which euen vntill this time thou hadst continued to worke if God of his great mercie had not stayed thee thou shalt find that thy iniquities not onely by the multiplication of daies and yeares but also by the number of thy actions and of thy euill inclinations should haue bin multiplied infinitly insomuch that thou wouldst haue become like another infernall Lucifer whereupon if thou be not willing to steale that to thy selfe which is due vnto God but rather chusing to rest within the compasse of thine owne thou oughtest to account thy selfe euery daye worse then other But note well that this iudgement of thine be accompanied with iustice for otherwise it would be no smal losse vnto thee for if in this knowledge thou doe excell some other who through his blindnesse doth account himself somewhat worth and desireth so to be reputed of others thou
thou be not able through the confusion of thy mind to helpe thy selfe with thy vnderstanding to pray supplie with a good will and with iaculatorie prayers and lifting vppe thy minde oft to God and aboue al suffer the burden of thy Aridity thy drinesse with patience and humble resignation for this aboue all others is praier most acceptable to God Thus if thou wilt doe thou shalt bee truly deuout true deuotion being a readinesse of will to follow Christ with thy crosse on thy shoulder by which way soeuer hee inuiteth and calleth vs vnto him and to will God for God and sometimes to leaue God for God And if by this many spirituall persons and especially women would measure their profite and not by sensible deuotion they would not grieue so vnprofitably also vngratefully at this good turne which our Sauiour doth sometimes vnto them and they would attend with more feruor to follow his diuine will which wholy woorketh to our benefit And in this also they much deceiue themselues but particularly women that when they are molested with feareful thoughts they are confoun ded and discoraged beleeuing that they are wholy forsaken of god not vnderstāding that in a mind full of such thoghts his diuine spirit can dwell and they remaine much deiected and almost become desperat easily leauing off all good exercise whereby they shew themselues little gratefull to GOD who permitteth this temptation in them to bring them to a more cleare knowledge of themselues and that they like distressed persons might draw neare vnto him That which thou oughtest to do in such a case is this that thou enter into a deep consideration of thy wicked inclination the which God would haue thee to know to be so rea dy to all euill that without his helpe thou woulst fall down headlong Afterward begin to receiue hope and confidence seeing that thy God by this danger which he doth shew thee would draw thee more neare him with prayer and with recourse to him for which thou art bounde to render him humble thankes And vnderstand that such thoughts are better driuen away with a skilfull and patient sufferance then with an anxious resistance How the most Blessed Sacrament is a most potent means to ouercome our passions Chap. 29 THe most holy Sacrament of the Eucharist is receiued for diuers ends but if thou wilt particularly receiue it for aid to destroy thy euil inclinations thou shalt dispose thy selfe in this manner Before thy receiuing hauing conuenient time begin ouernight to consider the desire the sonne of God hath that thou receiue him in the holy Sacrament of the Alter thereby to vnite himself vnto thee to the end thou maiest ouercome euery vitious passion This desire in God is so great that it cannot be comprehended of any vnderstanding created But that thou in som sort maist perceiue it consider two things First how much that great God delighteth to bee with vs sith he calleth this his delights and requires againe of vs that we giue him also in like sort our heart Secondly consider that he hateth sinne aboue all measure as an impediment to his vnion with vs as altogether contrary to his infinite perfections for hee beeing the chiefe good pure light and all beautie cannot but hate and haue in great abhomination sinne which is no other thing but darknesse defect and the blot of our foules And the better to imprint in thy mind this inflamed desire of thy Sauiour turne thy thoughts to the workes of the olde and new Testament and particularly to that of his death and passion for all this was wholly performed to deliuer vs wretches from our sinnes and from euery will of ours that is contrary to him Whereupon the illummated seruants of God do affirm that our blessed Lord to annihilate in vs anye little passion whatsoeuer and self-wil wold againe if it were needfull expose himselfe to a thousand deaths By the which considerations knowing the desire thy Sauiour hath to enter into thy soule thou shalt stirre vppe in thy selfe a feruent will to receiue him with these or such like iaculatory prayers Ah come my Sauiour succour this thy miserable creature against his aduersaries when will that houre be that I may receiue thee when will the time come that I comforted by thee the bread of life shal ouercome my owne proper will Afterward being strengthned with the hope of the com ming of thy Sauior call often times to battell that passion with the which thou dooest fight and enforce thy selfe to represse it with redoubled and disdainefull wils and to bring foorth afterward actes of desires of the vertue contrary to the same passion And thus thou shalt continue the euening as I haue saide and the morning after thou shalt be awaked When the time of receiuing comes a litle before thou shalt briefely consider thy defects and vnfaithfulnes which thou hast vsed towards thy Sauior from the time of thy last recei uing the Blessed Sacrament and with shamefastnesse and with a holy feare thou shalt be confounded for thy ingratitude and vnworthinesse But thinking afterward vpon the vnspeakeable goodnesse of God who although thou hast bin rebellious vnto him yet notwithstanding he willeth that thou receiue him thou shalt goe confidently to that sacred banquet After thou hast receiued withdraw thy selfe as soone as thou canst into the closet of thy heart and lay open to thy Sauior thy defects and wants saying thus in thy mind thou seest my Sauior how easily I offend thee and how much I want how strong this passion oppresseth me and that it is not possible that by my selfe I can be deliuered Therefore this battaile is thine and from thee onely I hope for victorie afterwards turne thy selfe to the father and offer vp to him for the same effect his most blessed Sonne whom now thou hast within thee and with faith expect his diuine succor the which wil not faile thee althogh thou shouldst not presently feele his helpe How by this same Sacrament we may stirre vppe in vs the affections of Loue. Chap. 30. TO the ende thou mayest stirre vp in thee with this most holy sacrament the loue which destroyeth and consumeth all selfe-will thou shalt turne thy thoughts to the loue of God towardes thee meditating in the night before how that great and omnipotent Lord not contented to haue created thee to his owne image and likenesse and to haue sent downe to the earth his onely begotten Sonne to serue thee three and thirtie yeares in thy iniquities suffering so great trauailes and the most painefull death of the crosse to redeeme thee he would further leaue him vnto thee in the Sacrament of the Eucharist for thy foode for thy needs in the which most precious gift to inflame thee wholy into his loue consider first the giuer who is God himself that power wisdome and increated goodnes which hath no end whose highnesse and perfection infinitely exceede the reach of