day and hour Money and Credit were to keep their words with me Calum Yes but I le be hang'd and some such Rogue as your self such a Hell Jaw do not swallow them before you see them Clutch Say not so good Callumney put me in better comfort Callum The Devil put you in comfort hee 's like to be better rewarded than I me thinks he might be more Officious for 't will not be long ere he must receive his due when is youâ— Lease out Sir Fem. But hast not thou seen thy Golden Sweet-heart yet Felix Nor ever care unless he be of the true Coyn and currant mettle Fem. But I hope you 'l be a good child and do as your Father bids you Felix What need you care you shall be married with Credit Fem. And you to Money then we will call Sisters no more but Ningles as our Husbands do Clutch Good Callumney be Officious 't shall be for thy good I have a Trap for Money do thou but ayd thou shalt supplant him and marry my Eldest Daughrer contein thy sullen Humour tip thy tongue with words more flattering Callum You 'l be hang'd ere you 'l keep your word Clutch Doest think I am a Pagan Callum You are a Userer and that 's Couzen German let the Devil be Judge but I le believe you and on these conditions endeavour for you all that I can Aside Heere 's the Fathers Consent if I can but obtain the squeamest Whenches she looks upon me with no scornful eye I le put fair for it could I but rule my tongue there were some hope Enter Money and Credit Clutch Practise my Counsell See they are Arriv'd kind Mr. Money let me hugg thee let me imbrace thee thy voice is heavenly Musique thy face bewitches th' art my dearest Idol Callum Now the Devil huggs his darling Clutch Next Mr. Credit ye are a pair of Creatures the whole world adores and happiest am I that must enjoy ye I am divided 'twixt ye you inseperable souls Mo. We keep our words you see Cred. VVe are not meerly Promisers Clutch VVhy look you now you 'l make me angry with you do ye think I had a thought you were unjust no by my honesty these are my Daughters Gentlemen two bashful younglings about their years it was my fault I faith which since I must confess I have amended Callum I fear money will be my rival the Rogue hath a bewitching Countenance I wonder the wench looks with no more affectionate eye upon him fate has ordain'd her mine Mo. Pardon my boldness Lady 't is a fault has been by all excused me that now I am to seek of Modesty to court so fair a Mistriss Felix Yet you are mine best beauty Callum This Money has an excellent tongue Cred. By Credits self an Oath I dare not break I am your infinite admirer Fem. Are you Cadeedlo Cred. I dare not take that Oath unless I knew the meaning Fem. Oh me do you not know the meaning of Cadeedlo Cred. No I 'l assure you Fem. I 'l tell you then in that one word Cadeedlo is concluded all the Oaths man can invent Cred. 'T is a most dangerous Oath but yet her beauty so enticeth me that rather then I 'l loose her love I 'l undertake to swear it Then Lady that you may believe I do admire you and in that admiration give my self your Zealous Lover to you I swear Cadeedlo I admire you Cal. Go thy ways thou deserv'st her for thou has sworn most desperately for her Clutch Take no repulse be not slightly denied Musique Oh Heavenly shakes moneys Cal. Now the Divel whispers them i' th ears Clutch A handsome mans Daughter mark but his sweet Language my own Boys both Mo. If you 'd desire an Oath by this pure Gold Clutch Tak 's Oath Daughter tak's Oath 't is a rich protestation not us'd by every Gallant Calum I have not seen so many good faces this two dayes Felix 'T is your will Sir Mo. Pray take it I have an Exchequer more stands ready for thee and by that Gold made purer by your hand I am your Honourer Felix I do not question the nobleness of your love which you term Honour but give me so sure the freedome of my soul to contemplate before I give you Answer Mo. I did not love you if I should not command your time Felix One day no more Mo. Willingly most willingly Calum But one day I must prevent you Love and Policy be my Aid Cred. Will you not swear then Fem. To what Sir Cred. Why that you admire me as I admire you Fem. Indeed I do admire you Cred. Indeed Pox of indeeds swear me Cadeedlo Fem. As I am vertuous I admire you Cred. What care I for your vertue what 's that to Cadeedlo the Oath I swore Fem. Pardon me Sir pray hear me Sir Clutch VVhat is the difference between you Fem. Ther 's no difference Sir we we Sympathize infinitly Clutch I am glad on 't Cred. A word with you Sir you know your language better then I pray what does she mean by Sympathize Clutch Sympathize do you not know the meaning of Sympathize come hither Calumney what is Sympathize Cullum To concurr I think Clutch VVhat was it Sir Sympathize this roguish girls troubles all our Noddles with hard words they did not come to her by the Fathers side I am sure why Sympathize is to concurr Cred. To concurr that 's true for indeed we did begin to snarl one at another Yet there is some other meaning Ningle Money a word with you you are not busie are you what is the meaning of concurr if you know not ask your Mistress Felix VVhy concurr is to Sympathize Sir Cred. And Sympathize is to concurr Sir what is meant by Sympathize or concurr I 'l keep to my self But your Daughter might use me more kindly Clutch Feminia wher 's your duty I must intreat I must Fem. Sir he would have me swear affection to him ere I have made least Tryal of Love Cred. No peace flattering Women did not I swear Cadeedlo to thee Fem. And I 'l swear the like to you by and by if you 'l be patient Cred. Well then I am content if you do not your Father has Ears Fem. And you have a tongue I make no question you 'l remember my Taffaty will you not Cred. When you have sworn much may be thought upon Clutch Come gallants will you in Calumney is the meat come from the Cooks Calum 'T is gone for Sir Clutch After dinner finish your discourse and make an end of all come my dear Sons welcome Exeunt Omnes Act the Second Scene the First Enter one way Featherbrain at the other Captain Pennyless Cap. WHat an Ass is he that waits a hum hum leasure fa la hum hum hum fa la hum hum hum hum hum umph hum hum hum pleasure hum hum happis may be rob'd Penniless Sings of hope and treasure hum inconstancy
after your fluent prodigality presuming on your person to undo some weak ey'd Virgin by your Vows and Oaths all but to satisfie your appetite with Coyn to game or such unthrifty Revells Fea. I vow she preaches talks talks hand somely what a fool was I to come hither I am taken with her if I have not almost a mind to this honourable peice mischief marriage good Company forsake me there is a new guest come to this Inn cal'd honesty commands like a Prince and I must observe his laws the mor 's my grief I will be gone one minute more undoes me all happiness dwell with you Lady Felix Pray stay and hear me Sir although from womans fear my words proceed yet trust me I conceit so well of you I could nor easily be won to think what my faint fears have uttered Feather She talk's again think 's well of me her tongue a Cupid and each word an Arrow she has an excellent ayming eye a good face fine complection handsome breasts a neat middle and I 'l warrant a good Foot and Legg she wears an hundred Cupids and now they all discharg'd at me together and now they carry me captived to her and now I begin to speak hum hum Wonder of Creatures perfectest perfect one Epitome of those Angellick Souls That are the Rules of Elizium Whose Beauty keeps the Rose buds blown in Autum And the fair Lillies white as mountain snow Hey da see if I do not talk like one of your mad Poets already Fem. I do not think but the youngster has Hero and Leander at his Fingers ends I would I could hear a little more O this Felix Pray you do not you spend your serimonius jests upon so weak a wit if you must needs love tell me so I love the plain way best Fea. By thy own chaste thoughts which were they mix'd with mine cannot be tainted I infinitely honour thee Felix Honour is that another term for love Sir Kisses Fea. It is and by this tempting fruit I love and honour you Felix Why do you swear so rashly indeed I will not take your oath till you advise your self Fea. Give me it again then I le think upon it she sings Fem. Maides where are your hearts become look you what here is look you what here is what 's there a couple of Turtles a billing is that such a They kiss peice of business very good he has bethought himself and now he swears agen there 's two shillings in oathes already Felix I can conceal no longer love growes great the more I labour to deliver it guard me my blushes Fea. But cannot you affect me my Election Felix Who is that behind you sir. Fea. A Gentlewoman what is she more sweet Lady Felix Do you observe her sir. Fea. I doe He offers to go back Felix She is one pray fix your eyes upon her she is one that can tell that with unfeigned zeal my soul affects you Fea. Indeed shee 's worth the noting pray Lady then take notice with what integrity of pure affection I seal me hers for ever Fem. Withall my heart your very nimble Gallants Felix What shall we doe my Father will suspect if you stay longer Fea. My Friend expects me too Fem. Is he not your Brother Sir Fea. No Lady Fem. He is somwhat like you and a handsome Gentleman Felix I know your need here is some Gold Sir make but your habit appear glorious you may as freely have Admittance as any of our Suitors Fea. I have hard so much farewel my best one Felix Remember Oathes Enter Captaine Fea. As I will do my Soul Cap. Oh 't is well you are coming I had spoyl'd all else what have you done now Fea. As I could wish my Boy Cap. Say you so get you gone then I le try what I can do Fea. Doe Cap. But which is your Mistress Fea. That Gentlewoman Exit Featherbrain Cap. That Gentlewoman good I must then direct my Service to the other pretty Rogues both de hear Lady are you my Frinds Mistris Felix Did he tell you so Sir Cap. Cunning Gipsey yes he did tell me soe forfooth Felix I hope you dare believe him Cap. Marry doe I is this your Sister fair one Felix Yes Sir Cap. Can she love think you Felix Faith Sir she can best resolve you Cap. You say true and I le to her does she love verse or prose Felix I think she is indifferently affected Cap. So then I le think upon somthing Fem. Ye busie Eyes where do you carry me why should this Stranger be your object so yet I 'me too blame to chide you ye behold a man proportioned for a Princess how pretily this bluntness does become him he makes this way sure he would speak with me Cap. What is your name sweet Lady Fem. Feminia Sir Cap. You are a woman Fem. I think so Sir Cap. 'T is true my little peice of modesty you can but think so yet by your name you are Fem. And I think you are a man Cap. But think I am a man do you not see a mark upon my forehead Fem. No truly Sir me thinks it is a Cupid Cap. Cupid oh blindness Sit lazie Cupid upon a Soldiers Brow Fem. Cupid is Mars Coequal Cap. Then they are both there together I thought so for I could love and fight both at once love a Mistres and beat him that durst abuse her and now I think on 't are you married Fem. Not yet Sir Cap. Then there 's some hopes but if I know how to court her I am a Jew de ye here Lady what said my Friend to ye when he came in the way of Marriage Felix Troth I have quite forgot Sir Cap. You have an excellent memory Fem. Why doe ye Question me of marriage Sir Cap. The Rogue has a mind to be talk'd too pox she might put forth her self a little more for my brain is out of tune I am somwhat stupid oh Sack nothing like Sack it calls up a Parliament of Rable in the Soul of a Poet and too much makes em speak fustion as fast Oh how she smirks He sings I would give my golden Rapier to be at her to be at her I le speak to her least she talkes me to silence She sayes shee 's a woman Cupid thou little Cub of Venus assist me can ye love Mars my fair Sithera Fem. Yes if he have a Cupids Soul Cap. Yes he has a Cupids Soul Fem. Where is he Cap. Here in this Doublet but hang circumstance can you vouchsafe affection if you can tell me I le strive to conquer my usurping nature perhaps I may run mad or so if I do come but and see me in Bedlam and I am answered Fem. Are you so swain sir is love so powerful in you at first sight Cap. What sayes the Poet that most true doth write Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight Fem. Troth and he saies true and
honest man and such like may they live to see their Sons made courtiers that 's enough I make no question then but that they will come into our order or worse and curse the next o' th brood as we do Cap. Yet you were confident sure as you said of Cloaths rich neat and all things else correspondent raiz'd me from a shallow desperation to lay me deeper Fea. Give ear to me now Ben. let me see we are not in such extraordinary rich cloaths but that we may pass for Servingmen Cap. Had you said for Sharks we might have both gone together Fea. Right We must Shark our Melancholy Mounsiere but as I was saying I left off at Serving-men Cap. Yours have left off i 'm sure Fea. As Serving-men to Money and Credit Cap. I 'l be hang'd if they give such bad Liveries to their Lackeys Thou run'st before me still hang Liveries hear me out by this means we will have access unto the VVenches this is the house I 'l knock and to e'm straight whilst the conceit is hot Cap. I is this your project prethy come away and leave your Fooling Fea. Stay but a minute see me in and hang thy self Capt. Thank you heartily Enter Calumney to the Captain Callum How now who 's there Fea. Stand to your business you Rogue all 's mard else Cap. Not unlikely Fea. Is Mr. Clutch within I pray Sir Calum Within yes what of that Cap. What of that Why we would speak with him Fea. Modesty good Ben. this is one ef Plutres Damme's we must through Hell to the Heaven we hope for Calum I think you come to rob him do you not Cap. What a Rogue 's this my valour do's begin to rise at him do thou speak now I shall beat him like a Dog else Fea. Thou art a most valiant Rascal aside Sir your name is Mr. Callumney as I take it Cap. I thought so aside Callum Yes Sir my name is Mr. Callumney Cap. Good Mr. Callumney you are my near Kinsman my father was a malice and my mother a mischief I am sure we give both one arms the three furious tongues in Sables i' st not so Sir Callum Yes an envies head in the crest Cap. Very proper aside Fea. And the Motto is avoid honesty Callum Very right Sir I see I am a Gentleman Sir I 'l call my master instantly Exit Callumney Fea. Do sweet Cozen. Cap. Go thy ways thou hast held a Candle before the Devil Fea. A ha what think you now Ben. Enter Clutch and Callumney Clutch Speak with me who are they Callum I know not who they are Sir there they be Clutch Would you speak with me Gentlemen Fea. Sir my Mr. Master Mony Cap. And mine Sir Mr. Credit Fea. Commend their loves to you Clutch You are welcome heartily Welcome Fea. You have two daughters Sir Clutch Their wives that shall be Fea. True Sir we have Letters to them from our Masters to the same purpose we were withall commanded to be speedy in the delivery Clutch I stay you too long then in in Gentlemen Callumney Lead um in Exit Callum Well Clutch Now are the Woodcocks spring'd my plots run fine Surfeit my Soul Money and Credits mine Enter Felixina and Feminia Fem. With grief I do believe you Sister you must impute it to his Avarice that sinks all goodness to oblivion Felix That is the drugg whose philterous effect stronger then poppey or Mandragora charms all his vertues in a lasting sleep oh that my prayers could wake his deep drencht soul my words should carry a far louder sound then does the Midnight Bell whose ring reports to the Inhabitants some fatal fire Fem. Well but you will not have my Ningle Money Felix No as I hope to embrace a noble spirit Fem. And your mind is fixt upon that nobler spirit you speak of Felix On him or no man But you will have Credit will you not Fem. Oh my head we are contracted woman Felix Sure you but jest Fem. In earnest we have exchang'd sound protestations Felix Protestations how sound I pray Fem. Why he swore Cadeedlo to me and I the like to him with many other to the same purpose moreover he calls me Spouse already and I call him head but the younster Sister the youngster Felix Prethy do not talk of him thou wilt put me to impatience Fem. Come I 'l plot for thee I have a conceit in this unhappy pate of mine shall bring him flying to thee how now who have we here Enter Clutch Calumney Featherbrain and Penniless Felix My father and some strangers Clutch How now daughters so earnest I have good news for you you Girls worth Gold Felix Or is it new coyn'd Sir Clutch Note that she harps upon your masters name already Fea. She 's a wit I protest Sir Clutch A notable girl a notable girl Fea. Fairest my master Mr. Money commanded me Fem. Oh me my sister sinks Felix swounds Cap. Hey day I hope he hath kill'd the Gentlewoman and brought me to hang for company with him would I were out again Clutch She swound for Joy she swounds for Joy how i'â—â— daughter how i' st daughter Fem. She comes again Sister look up here 's Mr. Money Fea. Mistriss Mistriss Felix Oh my lov'd stranger Clutch Feminia come hither come hither what doth she mean by stranger Fem. She calls Mr. Money her stranger sir. Feather and Captain whispers Clutch Does she so does she so He shall be more familiar with her mine own Girl still sure her mother gave me leave to get this child of obedience my self Fea. Quickly good Ben. Cap. Sir shall I speak a word with you in private Clutch With me sir. Cap. Yes and your servant Calumney Clutch with all my heart sir Calumney attend me sirrah Cap. Now I have made all clear for him if he should transgress with both the sisters and make the father and I his Bauds 't would trouble me Exit Manent Felixina Feminia and Featherbrain Felix What is your errand sir. Fea. 'T is love sweet Creature Felix Oh my soul 't is he Love sir what shall I do I want the womans art dissimulation whence comes your love I pray Fea. But from this bosome sweetest there is a heart fill'd with as innocent love as is the Vestal Virgins to her Goddess you wear the Cupid beauty thy Ivory bow sent your white shafts of vertue to my breast Ther 's a touch aside Felix And all this is you love me is it not Fea. And thrice so much can but confess a truth Felix Pardon me Sir I am no Infidel Fea. He harbors infidelity that thinks it Fem. This is the spark they whisper Hath been so long in the Ring of her fancy and dazled the eyes of her understanding if I may credit my own apprehension I vow she looks upon him as if she lov'd indeed she 's great with Joy Felix Is this your way to raise your Fortunes think you
now I am resolv'd pack hence my blushes then fly unto those conscious of crimes and let them there disclose their corrupt nature love so pure as mine requires not your assistance Cap. I forgot to kiss you you must pardon me I 'me not vers'd into loves Rhetorick more then kisses your Eyes instruct me Fem. The times unfit for tedious discourse resolve your self when ere my Sister makes your friend her Bridegroom you shall as surely call Feminia bride Cap. A kiss O that Sirrah couldst not thou obtain so great a blessing from thy Father as four or five peieces contain to befriend a poor Gentleman Enter Clutch Callumney and Featherbrain Fem. That would discover all noe go but to Mr. Credit call your self my brother you shall be furnished with all those necessaries that can acouter a compleat Gentleman Clutch Is he so highly taken say you Fea. At every sigh he breathes Felixina Fem. Hee 's my Father isht Capt. Feminias name inspires his foul with raptures Fea. Let him but see a beauty though as fair as Poets painted Hellen he will say she come but short of his Felixina Clutch He dotes he dotes oh my most happy issue Cap. If I could stay I de reckon up a thousand of these things but sweetest fair time will not now permit me Fem. Return my best affection Cap. I will Fea. My Master sir expects me else I would fill up your soul with wonder Cap. Farewell Lady Fea. I le take my leave Sir and of you fair Lady Felix Tell him your self if he infringe his Oath I am undone farewel Sir Clutch Entirely welcome Gentlemen Callumney attend them out Callum These are a couple of entire Rogues or else I wear false spectacles Exeunt Clutch What think you of your sweet hearts now my Girls Fem. As of the noblest Creatures nature fram'd Felix They are superlatively excellent Clutch You are obedient Girls but come attend me I must instruct you in some unknown lectures And wisdom to your Love if I obtain my Prize My Daughters shall be Mammons sacrifice Act the Fourth Scene the First Enter Calumney and Felixina Felix WEll what would you say now Callum Are we free from any hearing Felix We are but of each other aside What means the fellow Callum Pray let me ask a question then Felix Speak but be not tedious some weighty business sure Callum Your answer shall be just Felix Yes prethy speak without more conjuring Callum Do you Felix Out with it Callum Do you love Mr. Money Felix Yes what of that Callum Faithfully Felix Must I needs make my faith so familiar with your knowledge i' st my father hath made you thus inquisitive Clutch No as I covet happiness I love you and would prevent you he is one unfit for your deserts my heart grieves for you Felix Surely the fellows honest prethy why Callum First of all you are young fair and kind he old gouty and churlish you vertuous wise and loving he vicious damdable vicious he has tane in Baudy-houses night by night who but money he makes the Old bauds beautiful the Whores Caper naked at his appearance marry they have reason for it he secures them from all troubles he is acquainted with all the terrible Iustices about the Subburbs wondrous well beloved too they l take his word before the bond of an Alderman then is he very foolish for he prefers the cloath of Tishue and Plush before noble Hospitality and a hater of all vertue Felix You say I am vertuous why doth he love me then Callum He doth not I know he doth not Felix Why doth he swear he loves proves it by guests would marry me Callum He says so I 'l answer with a question why doth the Devil feed with liquorish meats spiritful Wine high pride hot lechery and feathered ease those that he means to damn he marry ye fy fy he shall but like the greedy Tree-worm suck the sap of Reputation from you and leave you wither'd Felix These words carry a sence to be observed though to me needless the Jenius that doth guard the Reputation my chast soul affects hath preinform'd me thus this sheweth his honest though since thou art so chary of my honour and wilt I hope persist in 't I shall invite thy Judgment to a greater difficult for which I will not be a light rewarder Callum Here 's harmony aside You are my Vertuous Mistriss I am your vessal your very eye commands me Felix Go send my Sister to me Callum I shal forsooth I am all aside Amorous Exit Felix The very contemplation of my Love exhilirates my heart his name exiles all passion what an infusious Love when I was free and with impartial eyes vew'd every one Eagle like could I dare the Summer Sun now one slight beam hath dimn'd me here come my sister she is Enter Feminia fetter'd too my helping hand was not wanting Gramercy jealousie for I thinking my own choice best fearing with my eyes she should look on him have ta'ne occasion as my surest prevention to make her cover by my pray appear most worthy Fem. Did you send for me Sister Felix Yes Mrs. Simper I did send to you Fem. What would you pray Felix Talk and prattle nothing else what dost thou think of my choice Fem. 'T is a deserving one is this all Felix No when dost thou think I shall see him again Fem. I cannot tell pray heaven they both prove constant Felix Is that thy meditation dost thou fear it Fem. Yes and my fears hold Angry Felix That they 'l be false forbid it heaven if mine be capable of Oaths I cannot Fem. Nay I will hope the best you have most cause to grieve if it prove so you will loose the richest prize Felix Not in your eye I hope aside How rich I prethy thine 's a Iove to mine Fem. I am the happier Offers to go away Iuno then Felix Prethy stay Fem. I am invited by a difficult subject requires my meditations for a while prethy excuse me Exit Feminia Felix I am invited by a difficult subject requires my meditations for a while prethy exuse me this is a Riddle learn or turn Sorceress and raise up the Ghost of Edipus to unfold it Exit Felixina Enter Mony Featherbrain Credit and Captain Pennyless Fea. If you derive your Pedigree from the antient house of the Monies ther 's some affinity between us Mo. I 'l assure you Sir we came in with the Conqueror my mother was a Pecunia Fea. What kin to the Argents Mo. T was my fathers name Cap. Well said Frank bring me into the kindred too Fea. My mother was an Argent my father an Aurum Mo. Why then your name is Gold Sir Fea. Yes sir the best of my kindred lived in Barbery Mo. Then by that name I must salute you never noble couzen Gold Fea. Sweet couzen Money pray be acquainted with my Brother Iewel Mo.