Selected quad for the lemma: love_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
love_n	affection_n	husband_n	wife_n	2,730	5	6.6528	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A75929	A Christian family builded by God, directing all governours of families how to act. 1. Gods timber and framing. 2. Gods foundation and upper building. 3. Gods finishing. 4. Gods furnishing. The sum whereof is shewed after the epistle. By Robert Abbott, Pastour of the Church of God at Austines, near Pauls gate in Watling-street in London.	Abbot, Robert, 1588?-1662?	1653 (1653)	Wing A68; Thomason E1233_2; ESTC R6379	56,335	120

Penal as Jacob did bear with Leahs blear eyes and Rachels barrenness and Elkanah who would not love Hannah the wors for a fault she could not help 8. He must suffer himself in some things to be advised by her This will comfort them Gen. 21. 12 1 Sam. 1. 23 against those things they suffer in their husbands love This will encourage them to undergo joynt care in the Family 9. He must not be bitter unto her Quest wherein Col. 3. 19. doth that stand Answ Not in crossing her in worldly wicked and want on things nor in a just reproving her folly but it stands in Affections words and deeds In affections when trifles draw the heart from love to sowre hatred In words when their tender natures are unjustly wounded by them In deeds when the wife is used like a drudge more like then like a wife as when she is deprived of houshold government when she is wilfully shortned in necessaries and when she is ill rewarded with blowes Christ is an absolute Lord Prov. 31. 27 as well as an husband and so may correct his Spouse but we are onely husbands and may not do that which can never be done without sin Now the reasons why husbands must honour their wives are these Because they are the weaker vessels Weakest members are most spared and brittle vessels are most tenderly used It is true they are vessels therefore they are for use they are helps to pietie helps to societie helps to house-government and helps to propagation yet are they weaker vessels therefore to be honoured as being for the Closet not for the Kitching Besides they are heirs together with their Gal. 2. husbands of the Grace of life This is the dignitie of that sexe that neither male nor female are lookt upon by a different eye in God but all are one in Christ Yea would ye not have prayers interrupted then thus honour your wives saith Peter Yea they are 1 Pet. 3. the gifts of God for all comfort and such gifts are prized What therefore remains but that husbands honour their wives If an husband say my wife is full of weakness therefore honour her as the weaker a Venice glass with good usage lasteth long If he say she hath bad qualities love not them yet honour her not because she deserves but because God commands SECT 13. THe second paire in this building of God are Couplings and they are 1. Children and 2. Parents 1. Children next to their duties to God are bound to doe their duties to their Parents These stand 1. In Reverence 2. In Obedience 3. In Thankfulness 1. They owe reverence to their Parents for acting of which there are 1. Duties which they must do 2. Sins which they must avoid 1. Their Duties are grounded in a singular love such as Ruth had to Naomi and they Ruth 1. are two standing in a reverent awe of them as God saith Ye shall fear every man his mother Levit. 19. 3. and his father God placeth the mother first because they soonest are despised thorough their own indulgence Next they must testifie this their reverence five wayes 1. By speaking reverently unto them as Isaac here am I my father and that son in the Gen. 22. Matth. 21. 30. 1 Kings 2. 20. Gospel I goe Sir and Solomon Aske on my mother 2. By humble craving their blessings Though they have no prophetical blessings as Isaack had for Iacob and Esau yet God Exod. 20. saith Honour thy Parents that thou maist live God hath promised them to be an ordinary means to get life of him for honourers of them 3. By rising up before them You know Prov. 31. 28 what Bathshebah saith Her children rise up and call her blessed 4. By bowing and baring to them as signs of civil honour Thus Ioseph though a mightie Prince and his father in want yet Gen. 48. 12 1 Kings 2. 19. bowes to the earth before him and Solomon to his mother 5. By not witnessing against them except Deut. 33. 9. in case of Treason and Rebellion for at such a turn Levi saw not his father nor his mother or brethren 2. Sinnes to be avoyded by children are First setting light by Parents Cursed be he Deut. 27. 16. saith God that sets light of his father that is gives not respect to him as God and nature requires Secondly Mocking of Parents The eye Prov. 30. 17 that mocks his father and despiseth the instruction of his mother let the Ravens pick out and the Eagles devour and this I speak upon my own knowledge that I knew a sonne many yeares who forsook the course of his good father neglected the counsel of his religious mother and as he was going homeward from his bowzing companions in the evening he fell among bushes and died before morning and was found by his friends that sought him with his eyes picked out either by Crows Ravens or some birds of prey Thirdly Cursing of Parents He that curseth Levit. 20. 9 his father and mother shall die the death saith God and our good Saviour doth second it Fourthly Smiting Parents For he that smiteth Mark 7. 10 Exod. 21. 15. father and mother shall die the death The very Heathens sowed such children in a sack with a Dog Cat Viper and Ape as Emblems of unnaturalnesse and drowned them together 2. They owe Obedience unto their Parents Obey the father that hath begotten thee and despise not thy mother when she is old saith Prov. 23. 22. Col. 3. 20. Solomon Children obey your Parents in all things for this is pleasing saith Paul To Obey is an humble being at the command of Parents and a patient holding out to the end as Isaack to Abraham when he was to be Gen. 22. sacrificed And this Obedience reacheth to all things to which the commanding power of Parents extends It must be shewed in all good things for body soul state either present or future Jer. 35. 6. 18. In things indifferent as the Rechabites who for it were looked upon by God with a good eye In harsh and unpleasing things as we see in Joseph when he was commanded to go to his envious brethren that loved him not and Gen 37. 13. 14. Gen. 22. in Isaack who was able enough to resist yet resisted not All the question will be how far children must Obey And it may be quickly answered Luke 14. 26. Puto genus pietatis Impium esse pro Domino John 2. Deut. 33. 9. so far as may stand with the honour of God for otherwise ye reade of Hating father and mother and ye see the best pattern Christ who checked his mother and obeyed not against the houre of his father at the beck and word of his mother Again they must obey so far as stands with the honour of Government for if a son be in place of honor and he commanded base things below him and unsuitable

1 Cor. 14. 40. Gen. 29. 22. John 2. 3. The mutual rejoycing of the friends comes in next and surely there is a lawfulnesse of feasting and mutual rejoycing at marriages Else Christ would not have blessed one with his presence and first miracle nor would Es 62. 5. God have described the joy that he takes in Matth. 9. 15 Matth. 22. his Church by the joy of marriage nor would Christ have compared the kingdome of heaven to a wedding feast But let me say withall that there are no greater sins committed then about things lawfull It is lawfull to eat drink weare apparel and to feast hence thousands of excesses and miseries have come in Excesses as at Nabals feast was drunkennesse at Absolons was murther at Ahasuerus his was a breach betwixt him and his wife Vashti at Belteshazzars carrousing and blasphemy at Herods wanton dancing and cutting off of Iohn Baptists head Mi●●ries as Elah was smote and killed while he was drinking Benhadad was surprised Israel while meat was in their mouth felt wrath and Jobs children were stifled Therefore warily consider what ye do at weddings and what ye should do Ye do rejoyce indeed but it is with wanton dancings bawdy jests and hellish carrowsings But what should ye do Ye should be carefull to prevent excess as Christ saith Take heed Luke 21. that your hearts be not oppressed with surfetting and drunkenness lest that day come upon you at unawares Ye should bring God into all your thoughts that you feed not without fear Ye Iude. Philip. 4 should do nothing which is dishonest or of ill report Ye should have good wishes speaches counsels and prayers to the new married couples like those that said The Ruth 4. 11. Lord make thy wife like Rachel and Leah which two builded the house of Israel and do thou worthily in Ephrata and be famous in Bethlehem SECT 10. 3. THe consequents of marriage in the Lord are two 1. Cohabitation 2. Communion 1. Man and wife must dwell together Let the husband dwell with his wife saith Peter 1 Pet. 3. 7. Prov. 5. 18 19. and Solomon saith Rejoyce in the wife of thy youth and let her breasts satisfie thee at all times and delight continually in her This cannot be without Cohabitation The first institution was a remedy against solitariness It is not Gen. 2. good for man to be alone let us make an help meet for him and let him cleave to his wife Quest I know what you will say may they never live asunder Answ Yes upon three occasions Vpon mutual consent for a time for the good of the Family My husband saith she is not at home he is gone Prov. 7. 19 20. a far journey at the time appointed he will come again Vpon Compulsion when persecution or imprisonment forceth it When some weightie affairs either in Church or Common-wealth requires it This was Vriahs case 2 Sam. 11. 11. when he would not go to his own house while the Ark and Israel and Iudah with his Lord Ioab were in Tents Yet must they not live asunder out of choice It is for an harlot to be called a strange woman but for a Prov. 2. 16. 2 Sam. 12. wife to be a lamb in the bosome as for the other causes so for samenesse of dwelling 2. As Cohabitation followes upon marriage 1 Cor. 7. 3. 1 Cor. 7. 4. so Communion which stands in three things a communion of Bodies a communio● of helps and a communion of joyes They must have a communion of Bodies whereby they defraud not one another except it be by consent for a time that they may give themselves ●● fasting and prayer yet must not this be excessive for there may be too much uxoriousness at home as well as adulterie abroad Ez●k 18. 6. 1 Cor. 7. 5. Gen. 25. 21 1 Sam. 1. ●7 And it must be sanctified by the Word o● God and Prayer Doe it by rule and with Prayer as Isaac and Hannah did They mus● have a Communion of helps in nourishing and cherishing each other To this end there must be a communion of goods they must have one purse but not for waste a communion of Counsel in matters domestical they must have one head as Pilats wife and the Shunamite and a communion of labours they must have one hand and that an helper Lastly they must have a communion of joy by having one heart as Isaack and Rebeckah who sported together and as Solomon gives Gen. 26. 8. Prov. 5. 18 19. in rule Rejoyce with the wife of thy youth Oh how happy a foundation of Gods building would such a marriage lay to last till death us do part Thus of the first part of Gods setting up of his building in a Family the Foundation SECT 11. NOw secondly of the upper building which stands perfectly 1. In wife and husband 2. In parents and children 3. In masters and servants Begin where God begins still with inferiours Amor descendit officium ascendit Love descends but dutie ascends The first pair of beams in an house builded by God are wife and husband who bear up this frame The wife must submit to her husband as unto the Eph. 5. 22 24. Lord yea as the Church is subject to Christ The woman saith Paul is bound to the law Rom. 7. 2 of her husband yea this is comely it is the best fashion that ever they wore Therefore Col. 3. 18. 1 Tim. 2. 12. saith God I permit not a woman to usurp authoritie Object Whatsoever thou permittest will some women say I will do it Sol. Nay saith God Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband and he shall rule over thee Gen. 3. 16. Quest Will any good woman ask me What it is to submit that she may conscionably do it Answ It is to put her self willingly under the government of her husband Quest Will she further ask me how she must submit Answ Surely not by way of bondage but free service for her self because she and her husband do make but one Quest Will she further ask wherein she must submit Answ Paul saith In all things that are lawfull and honest Eph. 5. 22. In general she must submit to her husbands honour Sarah honoured her husband and called him Lord. The good wife calls her husband 1 Pet. 3. 6. Hos 2. Prov. 7. 19. Ishi my man but the harlot saith plain Ish the man is gone abroad this is a clear sign that she honours him not In particular she must submit three wayes By an inward act of the mind acknowledging Eph. 5. ult his headship and taking direction from him if he be wise and for him if he be a fool By an inward act of the will conforming to his good manners and affections By these outward acts of dutie which depend upon these thus 1. They must answer their husbands wills Their questions must not be Whose will shall be

done for God saith Thy desires shal Gen. 3. be subject Object But what if the wils of their husbands be wicked Sol. Then whether it be better to obey God or him judge you But in all domesticall affairs as the Moon doth vail at the presence of the Sun so must the wife at the presence of her husband 2. They must answer their husbands wisedoms 2 Kings 4. 22. Gen. 16. 6. as the Shunamite and Sarah who took directions from their husbands Object But shall not the wife imploy her knowledge and discretion for the good of the Family Sol. Yes yet with submission to him as head As when two strings are stroke upon a Lute the sound is attributed to the lowdest so must the wife take and use direction to the honour of her husband Object But you will say some wives are wiser then their husbands Sol. In truth so most of them are unhappie to think and sometimes it is true yet the best part of their wisdome is imployed in using it for their Husbands honour and not her own alone to disgrace her husband Object No did not Abigail call her husband fool and why may not others also 1 Sam. 25. 25. Sol. It was well known he was a fool for from thence he had his name Nabal She reveals no secret but speaks of that which was in every bodies mouth Besides it was not to his face to stir up strife nor behind his back to disgrace him but it was to save his life As Chirurgions to save the body will cut off a limb so she was willing to blur his well known name to save his life 3. They must answer their husbands natural dispositions which are without sinne So Rebeckah provided savoury meat forher Gen. old husband such as he loved as a looking glass she shewed the countenance of her husbands nature as it was 4. They must answer their husbands spiritual endowments by kindling not cooling graces which are given for the family Therefore she must read and pray with him and for him and hear his advices and be a better comfort then Jobs wife was to him in miserie I remember a sad storie upon mine own Note knowledge An honest Christian man had a wife worldly and distrustfull and he being much in good exercises morning and evening in his Family she would disturb him and go about ratling her keyes or making some other noise to hinder him pretending that his time spent that way might be imployed in getting money for his Family This woman was given over by God to the Devils temptations so far that she thrust a knife into the pit of her stomach and killed her self yet before she died she confessed thus much to me and craved Gods pardon as well as she could Oh had it not been better that she and her husband had walked hand in hand to heaven with her due submission Quest If now Fourthly the good wife will ask me why she must submit Answ Surely the reasons are invincible The order of Creation requires it Adam was first created next Evah for him so the wife is for 1 Cor. 11. 8 1 Tim. 2. 14. the husband as her head The order of transgression requires it The woman was first in the transgression She was first in evil last in good therefore she must submit The union betwixt man and wife requires it Eph. 5. The husband is the head of the wife for direction protection and influence The woman gives not the name to the husband but Es 4. 1. Gen. 2. the husband to the wife and to impose a name is a sign of Soveraigntie So Evah was called Isha of Ish and Solomons wife was called the Shulamite and the Quando ego ero Ca●us tu cris Caia Roman said to his wife when I shall be Caius Thou shalt be my Caia Therefore let all good wives learn this comely lesson to submit There are foure enemies in some womens breasts unto this Want of wit to know their place Want of love because they married not in the Lord Pride in aspiring to mastership and love of the vanities of this world against the minds of their husbands But pray for mastery over these and submit Be warie of offending your Husbands Doe as their hearts may rest in you and carrie Prov. 31. all for the honour and profit of the Family Quest But saith the good wife May I not dispose of any of my husbands goods Answ I reade three cases in which they may Where it tends to keep from sinne and to preserve their Husbands life This was Abigails case Where the Husband is foolish 1 Sam. 25. 18. and sees not what is good for himself and his Family this also was Abigails case Where the Husband is an enemy to Pietie and Mercie and will suffer nothing to be done either by way of Honorarie or reliefe this was Iohanna the wife of Chusa's case Luke 8. 3. Yet must it be to honour her Husband not her self and so frugally and wisely that the Husbands house want nothing to further credit or comfort Do thus and prosper SECT 12. THe husband is next who must honour his 2 Pet. 3. 7. wife as the weaker vessel There is a double honour Of Subiection so the wife must honour her husband Of Love and complacence so the husband must honour his wife This honour stands in Love and in the Velle cuique quod bonum est fruits of it His love to her must be a dear comforting love not ordinary which is to will to every one that which is good but by which they are glued one unto another to do good and not ill unto one another all the dayes of their lives The fruits of it are these that follow 1. He must account her his yoak-fellow standing on even ground though drawing on the left side 2. He must dwell with her that he may be Ruth 4. 11. Ruth 3. 1. Prov. 5. 18 19. a rest for her as for his own Vine that she may prosper 3. He must dwell cheerfully with her as Isaac with his beloved Rebeckah 4. He must direct her and be the guide of her youth both in civil things as Abraham Prov. 2. 17. Gen. 20. 16. directed Sarah when he entertained his strangers and in spirituals as when the Shunamites husband directed her 5. He must protect her and be the covering of her eyes and spread the skirt of his garment over her that is provide for her and protect Ruth 3. 9. 1 Sam. 30. 5 6. her as David did his wife when she was taken by the Amalekites 6. He must provide necessaries for her according to but not above his means as God saith Thou shalt not diminish her food rayment Exod. 21. 10 11. and the recompence of her virginitie 7. He must bear with her infirmities not sinnefull these must be cured by instruction reproof prayer but passionall as grief fear distrust and