even Curse the first day of their Acquaintance How often is the Wife a Thorn in the side of her Husband such was Iob's Wife to him the Child an Heart-break to his Father such was Absalom to David and the Brother an Affliction and Terror to his Brother so Esam was to Iacob and Cain to Abel There must be something beside the Relation to sweeten it otherwise the Persons related will be mutual Crosses and Torments instead of being pleasant 113 Psal. 1. Behold how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to walk together in Vnity This is like the Precious Ointment like the Dew of Hermon the Dew that descended upon the Mountains of Zion there God commandeth the Blessing It is not nearness of Relation nor oneness of Blood nor any other strictness of Bond that will be sufficient alone but together with that there must be an oneness of Mind and Heart Thus it should be in Families and thus in Churches 2 Acts 42. They continuing daily with one accord in the Temple did eat their meat with gladness And again 4 Acts 32. The multitude of them that believed were of one Heart and of one Soul Brethren and UNITED BRETHREN this is amiable indeed and delightfull when they Dwell together Meet and Converse together and all in Unity so that there are no Animosities and Heart-burnings among them no Divisions and contrary Motions no Quarrels and Contentions but Harmony and Agreement this is good a lovely sight God and Man count it so and it is pleasant the Joy and Comfort of those Persons Lives Well then this was not all in the present Case there was not only a nearness of Relation but also Secondly There was in Ionathan unto David a dearness of Affection Not only such as was suitable to the Relation but above it such as too too often is not to be found in an own Brother For the proof of this do but observe the expressions used in the Scripture for the setting of it out 1 Sam. 18. 1. When he had made an end of speaking unto Saul the Soul of Ionathan was knit with the Soul of David They were glewed together fastened one to another and bound together by the Holy Spirit of God There was between them as the Philosopher saith but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 one Soul and read on Ionathan loved him as his own Soul which words are repeated in Verse 3. He did really desire his good as his own and sensibly felt his Afflictions as his own and heartily rejoyced in his Prosperity Successes and Honours as if they had been his own they rejoyced and mourned together they sung and sighed laugh'd and wept together Again it is said in 1 Sam. 19. 2. That Ionathan delighted much in David He was not only pleased with him but he delighted in him too and that not a little but much He was delighted to see his Face and to hear his Discourses and to be in his Company David was sensible of this could not but take notice of it you may see he did in the words immediately following the Text where he speaks of it in an high and lofty strain that so he might the better shew the Price he himself set upon it and raise up in others the greater Admirings of Ionathan Thy Love to me was wonderful passing the love of women As if He were a Prodigy of Love the None-such of the Age yea of the World and had such a pure and vehement Flame as could not possibly be matcht Among men there was none to be found that came near it nay it exceeded the Love of Women Which may be variously understood and is by the Learned Either thus Thy Love to me is above that which men have yea that which thou my dearest Brother hadst for Women Or thus That Love which was in thine heart unto me was above the Love which is in the Heart of Women themselves Tho' they have strong Affections and violent Passions yet they come short of thine are not to be compar'd with thine the most endearing Wives do not love their Husbands the most affectionate Mothers do not love their Children the fruit of their own Wombs at such a rate to such a degree as Ionathan did his David Now this could not but make him very pleasant for Love is the Beauty of all Relations it puts a sweetness into and a gloss upon all Societies yea it is the Glory of Heaven it self where it is advanced to and shall Eternally continue in it's highest Perfection without the least languishing or diminution But further This Love of Ionathan to David was not dull and sluggish a sleepy habit but lively and active hastily catching at and laying hold upon all opportunities offered for the venting and expressing of it's self And therefore Thirdly The Love of Ionathan did signally evidence its self in a way of Self denyal and by the unparallel'd humility of his Spirit He was no conceited and lofty Person puffed up with Pride wholly confin'd to his own Interest and looking with contempt or jealousie upon them who were below him but most readily yielding to the interest of his Brother and cheerfully welcoming and embracing all means of promoting it We may learn this from 1 Sam. 18. 4. Ionathan stript himself of his Robe that was upon him and gave it to David and his Garments even to his Sword and to his Bow and to his Girdle Good Man he now would have his David go like himself arrayed in a Courtly Habit as became the Son-in-law to a King He must put off the Shepherd and put on the Prince yea he should have his own Robe that all who met with him might see Ionathan in him and accordingly respect and honour him as another Ionathan yea he gave him his very Girdle or Belt which was a great Ensign or Badge of Honour and the principal Ornament of a Souldier thus he accounted nothing too good or too great for David And tho' he full well knew that David should succeed his Father in the Throne and be King in Israel yet he had no rising of Heart against it he did not at all envy him that Royal Preferment No no 1 Sam. 23. 16. He went to him into the Wood and strengthened his hand in God i. e. with the gracious Promises that God had given him putting him in mind of former Assurances he had received as is clear from the 17th Verse He said unto him fear not for the hand of Saul my Father shall not find thee and thou shalt be King over Israel and I shall be next unto thee He was very well content not to insist upon the Right Line but tho' as Prince Heir of the Crown yet to resign it to David and to be himself his Inferior and Subject Nor was he at all heated in his Spirit against him or alienated from him in Affection by his Fathers angry taunts and upbraiding him with his having chosen the Son of Iesse to
God learn your Duty and chearfully apply to the doing of it do it all do it more and more take Delight and Pleasure in doing it Love them love to Love them let your Love continue let it abound convince them of your loving them that whatever other wants they may have they may be sure of this that they do not want your Love But still do not overdo Love God as much as ever you can because him you cannot love too much you cannot bestow too much upon him to whom you owe more than all you have amounts to therefore there give your Affections their full liberty lay the Reins upon their Neck but when you have to do with Creatures take heed to your selves and love with Caution let there be a true honest and faithful Heart but yet a weaned Heart There is a great difference between Endearing and Doting study and practise the former avoid the latter 1 Cor. 7. 29. It remaineth that they that have Wives be as though they had none And the same is to be said of others Let those that have Husbands be as tho' that had none and they that have Children and they that have Brethren Sisters and Friends Too much Love layes a foundation and makes way for too much Sorrow if while you have Comforts you are not as tho' you had none I am sure when you weep you will not be as though you wept not Alas you will scarce find in your Heart how to resign that which you have fixed your Heart upon In such a Case and unto such a Person the taking away of a Comfort or the dissolving of a Relation will be not as the putting off a Garment but rending the very Caul of your Heart Secondly Wisely and carefully Improve your Comforts while you have them Be as good Husbands as possibly you may they may not abide long with you therefore while they do suffer them not to lye dead upon your hands Have you Friends and Relations draw from them all possible Soul advantages labour you to be the better for them and do your utmost that they may be the better for you be mutually helpful one to another quickening warming strengthening one another provoking to Love and Good Works That Proverb is not to be slighted for Wisdom is in it Make Hay while the Sun shines By present Diligence prevent those idle and unprofitable Wishes that come too late Oh that I had been wiser Oh that I had done so and so Do you now and every Day think and repeat the Thoughts of this who have Husbands and Wives Brethren and Sisters Children and Servants Ministers and People and you that walk together in an Holy Communion meeting in the same Assembly attending upon the same Ordinances and sitting at the same Table and let these Thoughts be mighty in their Operation And as it ought to be thus with reference to your Friends and Relations so to your Estates and Possessions Many are all the Year round digging like Moles in the Earth scraping raking and heaping up of Riches as if there would be no end of their days but they should live here alway Like the Horse-leeches Daughter they never say it is enough as some never think they have sinn'd enough but drink in Iniquity like Water and draw it with Cart-ropes so these never think they have got enough in the fulness of their sufficiency they apprehend themselves in straits Would these Persons hearken to me I would advise them to be ready to communicate and do all the Good they can to others since they do not know how soon they may die and so have no more Opportunities for Charity and Usefulness in the World By Acts of bountiful Compassion make sure of something considerable that you may carry with you before Death comes to take you from all and all from you What thy hand findeth to do either in Works of Piety or Charity speed the doing of it do it with all thy might considering there is no work nor device nor invention in the Grave whither thou art going Eccl. 9. 10. Thirdly Provide for Changes Expect them and arm your selves that when they come they may not do you a fatal Mischief Do not say as David did in his Prosperity 30 Psalm 6. I shall never be moved tho' thou thinkest the Lord by his favour hath made thy mountain to stand strong Dream not of such a settlement upon Earth as knoweth no shaking thou mayst quickly be moved and thy Mountain too thy Mountain as big as it looks may dwindle and shrink it self up into a Molehill or the hand of Divine Providence may take it and cast it into a Sea of Trouble Notwithstanding the height of his Confidence he soon found it so and in the next words hath left his Experience upon Record for the teaching us to cherish in our selves more solid and sober thoughts Thou didst hide thy Face and I was troubled God doth not need to arm against us nor throw his Thunderbolts it is but hiding of his Face that is enough to cover us with the shadow of Death and put all into Confusion and this or any thing else that God pleaseth to do may be done in the twinkling of an Eye Therefore under the warmest and most comfortable Beams of Divine Favour under the brightest shinings forth of the Face of God we should think of a Cloud and in the highest Spring tide of Creature comforts prepare for as low an Ebb. It doth not indeed upon any account become us to give way unto those Fears that would deprive us of the comfort of our Enjoyments nor when God hath put a Cup of Consolation into our hands go about to imbitter it to our selves with the frightful apprehensions of that which may never be But it is our Wisdom in the serenest day and when there is Peace round about to cherish those prudent fears which may enable us to look Terror in the Face without being distracted by it and to endure evil without having our Hearts broken by it There is nothing lost no hurt done by a calm sedate propounding difficult Cases to our selves As thus Now I am full but I may be emptyed as from Vessel to Vessel Now I am cloathed with Silk and beautiful Garments but God may strip me of these and put Sackcloth upon my Loins Now I have a convenient stately House richly hung and furnished but Sons of Violence may break in and steal or a Fire may burn it down to the ground so that I shall not have where to lay mine head Now I have a dear and Loving Husband who careth for me but I may lose him and be brought to a State of desolate Widowhood Now I have enough and to spare an overplus for the relief of the Poor but the time may come wherein I shall want Necessaries and pine away stricken thrô for lack of the fruits of the Field My Soul how wilt thou be able to bear up if it
should please God to bring it to this Thou knowest how to abound with Joy and to eat thy Bread at a plentiful Table with a merry Heart but dost thou know how to be contented in a time of Want and Scarcity and to rejoyce in the God of thy Salvation in a Day of Famine as the Holy Prophet could 3 Habbuk 17 18. Fourthly Seek for and diligently look after those things which you cannot lose nor be deprived of In the midst of the uncertainty you live at as to all the Comforts of this present World make sure of something I mean something that is worth your pains to get and that it is your interest to keep In the 17 Psalm 14. we read of the Men of the World that their Bellies are fill'd with hid treasures and possibly so is their Bags and their Cherts and their Houses too all full and that not of Trash but Treasure But poor Creatures this is their Misery that they have their Portion in this Life They have a Portion and it looks great makes an huge noise but alas it is only in and for his Life We read also of the sure mercies of David 55 Isa. 3. Incline your ear and come unto me hear and your Soul shall live and I will make an everlasting Covenant with you even the sure mercies of David now be you so wise as to mind them It is very good to be sure excellent to have that which is so Christ told Martha in a way of friendly Reproof to her that Mary her Sister had chosen the good part which should never be taken from her neither by God who was too good to do it nor by Men and Devils who were too weak That was a wise Choice be you perswaded to make it Take not up with that which may leave you and which sooner or later you must leave Sit not down with any thing that Thieves may break thro' and steal or that Moths can corrupt or Rust can fret or Time shall see the end of Look out for Christ who is the everlasting Father and able to save to the utmost of your Needs and Dangers and Desires and of Eternity too pray for the Spirit he will abide with you for ever Grace will grow up to Glory and Holiness bring you to an Happiness that knows neither measure nor end Follow the Noble Example which was set you by the Holy Apostles and Primitive Christians taught of God who 2 Corinth 4. 18. Looked not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen because the things which are seen are Temporal but the things which are not seen are Eternal Spiritual Blessings in heavenly places and things are of all good things the best and also the most lasting Riches and Honour are with Wisdom But what such Riches as take unto themselves wings and flee away such Honour as is a vain and vanishing breath No no durable Riches and Righteousness 8 Prov. 18. When all worldly Enjoyments take their last Farewell leaving you for ever you need not look upon your selves as Persons undone but say for all this the lines are fallen unto me in a pleasant place still I have a God here and I shall have an Heaven hereafter VSE 2. Learn that it is both the Duty and Interest of Persons in Relation to study and endeavour the being pleasant to one another Ionathan was so to his Brother David and by being so He obtained a good Report in the Text Very pleasant hast thou been unto me This is a fair and lovely Copy for us to Write after drawn by an excellent Hand let us all imitate it and come up to it as near as we can Whether we stand in Natural or Civil or Church-Relation whether Conjugal Parental or Filial whether we are Masters Mistresses Servants Fellow-Citizens or Church-Members let us labour to sweeten that Relation and to render our selves as easie and acceptable as possibly may be to one another that we may not be as Thorns in one anothers sides nor pricks in one anothers eyes there will be Aloes enough we had need bring good store of Honey It is an excellent Command the Scripture gives Follow peace with all Men go and do it follow Peace abroad tho' it run from you follow it but be sure to keep Peace at home yea not only Peace but Pleasantness too and both these are to be found in the ways of Wisdom 3 Prov. 17. Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace See then that ye walk circumspectly not as fools but as wise A great deal of benefit will be the fruit and effect hereof your Relations will have the Comfort of it while Providence continues you with them and so will your selves also and besides that you will have the Comfort of it when you come to die a reflection thereupon will be exceeding cordial and over and above you will have the Honour of it after Death Nabal was a very Chub a morose and ill-natur'd Fellow Well what did his Servants say of him behind his back while he lived see 1 Samuel 25. 17. He is such a Son of Belial that a Man cannot speak to him And what did his prudent Wife say of him after he was dead 25 Verse of the same Chapter Let not my Lord regard this man of Belial even Nabal for as his Name is so is he Nabal is his Name and folly is with him whereas by your being pleasant to your Friends and Relations you will raise a Monument to your own Honour far better than Absolam's Pillar and tho' your Body will corrupt in the Grave and return to Dust yet your Name will be embalmed and your Memory blessed And to this end I commend to you by way of Advice these three things desiring you to put them in practice First Let your Love be sincere hearty constant and free a self-evidencing Love that there may be more ground and reason to believe it than your bare say so Be sure that your Relation carry along with it all the Affection that it calls for and all the desireable fruits of that Affection It is this my Friends that makes every thing savoury and puts a good relish into it take this away and all that remains is nothing else but bitterness What is Communion and Cohabitation without Love but a constant Burden And what are Services but ungrateful and what is it that makes them so when they are good in themselves Nothing but their coming from such an hand The Conjugal Yoke will be very heavy and pinch and gall if it be not lin'd with Love and is there not reason Did not God reject and abhorr all that the hypocritical and profane Iews did in his worship upon this very account because he knew they did not love him Isai. 29. 13. This People draw near me with their mouth and with their lips do honour me but have removed their Heart far from me And for that cause