Customs and Prejudices to the Infection of others It cannot reasonably be expected that Persons when they come abroad in the World should ordinarily prove better than their Education Whereas as one observes a Religious Family is on the contrary a diffusive Blessing like a Stock of Bees which sends forth Swarms and Honey into Neighbouring Parts Especially as the Members hereof come hereafter to have Families of their own Therefore to shut Religion out of Families or not promote it there is the means to thrust it out of the World This has been observed by the very Pagans as the proper way for a private Man to be a Publick Good and serviceable to the Welfare of his Country viz. by ordering things well at home with Wisdom and Care in his own House and Family And there is hardly any thing whereby so much Evil is done to the Publick as by the Carelesness of Parents in the Instruction of their Children and the Negligence or ill Examples of Masters with respect to their Servants Among some of the Heathens a Penalty has been laid upon the Parents when the Children were ill-conditioned and they might be sued in the Courts of Judicature if they neglected the Education of their Children And how much the Safety Pleasure and Comfort of our Lives depends upon the faithful Discharge of Relative Duties Experience will teach us What greater Comfort can a Parent or a Master have than to see the Success of his Endeavours for the Good of those under his Roof A natural Parent may say it as well as a spiritual one I have no greater Joy than to see my Children walking in the Truth It is said of Abraham Heb. 11.9 that he dwelt in Tents with Isaac and Jacob Heirs with him of the same Promise How comfortable is it when Father Son and Grandson are all Heirs of the same promised Salvation Especially if God bless your Endeavours towards it that they who come from your Loins may serve the Lord. There is a double Blessing where the Father is Godly and the Son so likewise To see them alive to God who were dead in Sin will revive the Heart of a Religious Parent as it did old Jacob's to know that his Son Joseph was alive To have Wife and Children bear the Image of God and our Servants to obey and serve and please their Heavenly Master and by our Faithfulness and Care and Diligence to be brought to know and love and worship and honour him and be accepted with him What an unspeakable Delight must this be when the Savour of Religion descends from the Head to all the Members of the Family as the precious Ointment poured on the Head of Aaron ran down to the Skirts of his Garments You then may and will love them with a higher kind of Love than bare natural Affection In short you will love your Husbands Wives and Children and holy Relations with another sort of Love than other Persons do theirs It is a more fervent more pure more faithful more comfortable Love which is superadded by Religion and results from their Love to God and Participation of his Image You love them as the Friends and Brethren of Christ as Heirs of the same Inheritance as begotten again to a Divine Life by the same Spirit as born of the same Immortal Seed of the Word as nourish'd by the same Spiritual Food as under the same Bond of the Covenant as of one Houshold of Faith as Souldiers under the same Colours and Banner of Christ as called to the same blessed Hope of the Gospel as Travellers to the same Heavenly Country and Coheirs of the same glorious everlasting Kingdom You cannot love your unsanctified Relations in this manner whatever Natural or Civil Bonds of Union there may be between you and them It will please you doubtless to see them thrive and prosper in the World whom you tenderly love but it must much more do so to see them faithful to God live to his Glory and ripen for Heaven Whether you live or die you may then comfortably resign them and trust them with God who loves them better than you and will be sure to take care of them With what Pleasure can you think of the Sin and Misery which they escape What Wickedness such a Child would else have committed on Earth and what Torments he must have endured in Hell if he had been wicked Their Love Honour and Obedience to you which the Grace of God will teach them will also add to your Joy in your Health and Sickness or old Age they will pray for you And if they die you can look forward to the everlasting Happiness of their Souls as well as your own and the hopes of meeting them with Comfort in the Day of Reckoning And what an Honour is it to any Family to have serious Godliness transmitted from Father to Son and from the Son to the Grand-Child To be able to say My God and my Father's God and my Grand-father's God 2 Tim. 1.5 as Pliny reports * Dr. Manton on Heb. 11. p. 551. it was counted a great Honour and Felicity that in one Family of the Fabii there were three Presidents of the Senate one after another and in one House of Curio's there were three Orators one after another Besides how Beautiful and Pleasant a Thing is a Religious Well-ordered Family How Comfortable is it to dwell in such an House Where God is Worshiped and his Laws observed and his Day sanctified his Word read his Authority owned and his Laws made the Rule Where it is an Honour and not a Reproach to eschew Evil and do Good God promises to bless the Habitations of the Just and how sweet will his Presence be unto such Whereas to live in a House where the Name of God is never used but in jest or scorn or prophane Oaths where the Inhabitants are as so many Brutes that live from day to day as if they had no Souls to save no World but this to mind and no Expectations beyond the Grave where Worldliness and Sensuality filthy Talk and Intemperance c. have infected Superiours and Inferiours Who would dwell in such a House There cannot generally be Peace and Union Love and Concord in such Mens Dwellings Family Jars Contentions and Sorrows are occasioned by Sin which Family Religion would do much to prevent and cure If Children are a Grief to their Parents and Thorns in their Eyes as a Wicked Son is the Calamity and Shame of his Father and Heaviness to his Mother they may thank themselves as of their own Planting if they did not with Love and Diligence with Wisdom and Faithfulness seek their Salvation If Servants neglect their Duty to you how can you wonder when you have neglected yours to them You must bear the Fruit of their Sin if you do not teach them the Principles of Religion which should make them better and teach them to keep a good Conscience by giving them your
than it should be omitted These plain things I offer'd and recommended with Seriousness to remove the common Objections Pleas and Excuses for the neglect of Family-Religion and Worship and touching the Duty of the several Relations in Religious Families If any may be hereby confirm'd or convinc'd I know you will rejoyce with me and bless God I am Yours Of Family Religion The THIRD LETTER SIR WIthout farther Preface I continue to make good my Promise by sending you the Remainder of my Papers on this Subject containing some Directions and Counsels relating to Family Religion You who are Heads of Families are in the first place obliged to be very Careful and Circumspect Serious and Exemplary in your Lives you ought to take heed that you give no Example of Vice before Inferiours They will sooner Imitate you in what is Evil than Good Let them have no Incouragement or Countenance given them to Sin by any thing they see you do You will quickly lose all Authority and Power to reprove or suppress their Evils if your own Example countenance them in it It is altogether unlikely that Religion should thrive among Children and Servants where the Parent or Master gives a Pattern of Drunkenness or Lewdness of Injustice Deceit and Fraud or only keeps up the Worship of God to cloak his own Wickedness or serve some secular Design Wo to those Parents and Masters whose Children are Witnesses of their Impiety and like enough to follow them without a wonderful Grace to their eternal Ruine Never Parent had such a wicked Child said a bad Eather once to a Rebellious Son Yes Sir replied the Impudent Youth My Grandfather had Some have inquired for what reason the Prophet Elisha called for Vengeance on the Children that mocked him and stiled him Bald-pate 2 Kings 2.23 when many of them it is probable hardly understood what they said The Reason assigned is this because the Children learnt that Language from their Parents and God punished the Parents in the Death of the Children and both at once Some of the Heathens have been very wary and cautious not to speak an uncomely word in the presence of their Children Certainly the Head of a Christian Family is obliged to behave himself Wisely in an upright way and to walk within his House with a Perfect Heart Psal 101.2 and in all things to shew himself a Pattern of Good Works Tit. 2.7 A prudent grave chearful sincere Deportment as becometh Saints would recommend Religion and diffuse the savour of it to all about it But if you give them never so good Counsel they will sooner be influenced by a bad Life than by the best of Words All your good Precepts and Counsels will be as Water spilt on the ground if not accompanied by a good Example What you would reprove and amend in their Words or Actions let them be sure to hear nothing of it in your Discourse and see nothing of it in your Practice You must lead them the way in Humility and Charity in the Government of the Tongue Passions Appetite in the Redemption of Time in Prayer and love to the Holy Scriptures and the Ordinances of the Gospel c. How can a drunken or unrighteous Father or Master expect his Children and Servants should be sober and faithful Can you hope to teach them Sobriety and they see you are Intemperate or Meekness when they see you cannot govern your Passions They will sooner learn your Sin than your Trade And is not the Money given with such an Apprentice very ill bestowed One Two Three Hundred Pounds or more to have them taught to serve the Devil and damn their Souls by the Example of a wicked Master But such Masters shall have double Damnation Therefore let your own Example teach all your Relations that Holiness and Unblamableness in Tongue and Life which you desire they should learn and practise But besides your own Example you are obliged by all other ways to indeavour their Spiritual and Eternal Good You are worse than Insidels if you provide not what is Needful and Fit for them as to their Temporal Life much more if you neglect their Souls O look upon them with Pity and Compassion help them as knowing their Ignorance their Temptations and Danger Remember they must shortly die and be saved or perish for ever Use all Advantages you have to do them good Let them not be betrayed to eternal Ruine by your neglect Ministers by publick Preaching cannot do so much to further their Salvation as you and it is very little we can hope to do without your Assistance You can speak sharply enough sometimes of unfaithful Ministers who neglect the Souls of their People but consider not your own Guilt and dreadful Reckoning upon the like Account You expect more Duty sometimes from One Minister than Six can perform while you make no Conscience of neglecting your own Duty in your proper Sphere It will be a dreadful Meeting in the Day of Recompence to have your Children or Servants to accuse their Parents and Masters saying I was so many Years in my Father's House or I lived so long with such a Master who never concerned himself about my Soul I had never been a Servant of Sin and a Firebrand of Hell if he had done his part to prevent it The like will be true of ungodly Husbands and Wives who notwithstanding the Duty and Profession of the dearest Love do little or nothing to save one another from the Wrath to come O cruel Husband O cursed Wife It was long of You that I am now a lost undone Creature You never did any thing to assist my Salvation it was long of You that I came to this Miserable End You neither by Example or Discourse or Prayer or Admonition c. discovered any Care for your own Soul or for mine Yea how many in such Relations do much to hinder and obstruct the Happiness and Salvation of those whom they are most concerned and obliged to help For if the one be ungodly and the other be an awakened serious Christian the Latter shall commonly find the greatest Opposition and Difficulty and Hinderance in Religion from him or her who should have given the greatest Help and Assistance Remember therefore that besides Prayer in your House you have other Indeavours to use for the Salvation of those that live with you You mock God by praying for the conversion of Children and Servants if you do not otherwise indeavour it If you do not indeavour to convince them of their Sin and of their need of Christ and his Grace if you do not recommend him as the best Master and put them in mind of the uncertainty of this Life and of the certain Account they must give to God another day of all their Time and Talents c. And yet this neglect is now so common that they are reckoned Good Parents and Good Masters who will but give their Children and Servants leave to be good and
go to Heaven without them Who will not hinder their Inferiours from serving God Whereas you have much to do of Positive Duty to * See Mr. Baxters's Saints Rest Part. 3. Chap. 14. Sect. 16. inform their Minds to furnish their Memories to rectify their Wills to quicken their Affections to keep tender their Consciences and restrain their Tongues and watch over their outward Carriage to make them hate Sin and love Holiness and prize the Bible and delight in the Ordinances and Institutions of Christ and like good Company and dislike all others c. And to what End hath God given you The Authority of Parents or Masters if not to prevent Sin and to promote Holiness in your Families Humane Nature is so corrupt that unless in some few with whom the Spirit of God begins very early and the Effects of Holy Baptism are discovered in Childhood there need to be great Restraints put upon it by those who have Power and Authority over Young People Your Authority must be kept up lest you should be despised by those that you should Rule Labour therefore to understand the Nature Use and Extent of that Authority with Relation to all in your Family And the more you grow in Knowledg and Holiness and walk according to the Gospel-Rule the better will you preserve your Authority among all your Inferiours Humility and Wisdom and circumspect Walking will enable you to do them the more good in the use of that Power which God has given you The Indulgence and Allowance of Children in what is sinful you know did highly provoke God in the case of Eli and how dear did it cost him That his Sons made themselves vile and he restrained them not â— Saâ— 3.13 You must not let Wickedness dwell in your Tabernacle Job 11.14 or in those of your Family They will observe your Orders and regard your Commands if you do not indiscreetly lose your Authority by not keeping your distance or suffering them to be too bold with you or on the other hand making them too strange so as to be fearful and discouraged I here speak especially of Children If what you resolve upon and order in commanding what is good or forbidding what is evil you see be punctually observed still managing all with Affection and Love and manifesting the Honour of God and the Interest of their Souls and Salvation to have been your greatest Motive And remember that Commendation when they do well is as needful as Reproof and Correction when they sinfully transgress which also ought to be without Partiality or the causeless cockering or countenancing of one above the rest The like may be said though with some difference with respect to Your Servants Be Just Compassionate and Loving to them but lose not your Authority as a Master Be Faithful and Affectionate in your Counseling of them for the good of their Souls But if they be refractory and stubborn and slight your Advice and go on in Sin and wax worse and worse and deride serious Godliness in their Fellow-Servants you must use other Methods or get rid of them as soon as you can You are to take care that Wickedness dwell not within your House without Admonishing and Reproving of it You must warn them who are anruly and of others have Compassion making a difference Some must be rebuked sharply others save with fear pulling them out of the Fire Jude 22 23 Verses As to those who have Trades and Families but God hath not blessed them with Children or hath taken them away by Death their Care and Labour and Trust is thereby lessened and they ought to be the more careful with respect to their Servants They have many Considerations to keep them from Repining or Sorrowing much for the want of Children upon the Account of the Duty the Pains the Care and Grief of Heart which they are freed from For in this dissolute Age how few Children answer the Hopes Desires and Pains of Parents Or prove Comforts to them when they grow up If God had given you Children or prolonged their Lives what a Life of Trouble and Sorrow might They probably have passed in this World besides the constant Fear you would have had of their Sin and Damnation which may be put in the Ballance against the Vncertain Comforts of those who have Children abstracting from that Consolation which arises from the faithful discharge of Duty to them More particularly it is advisable with Family Prayer to joyn Serious Reading of the Holy Seriptures every Day and frequent Catechizing or Instructing of Inferiours in the Principles of Religion Abraham had such Trained Catechized Servants in his House These things that I command thee says God to his Antient People shall be in thy Heart and thou shalt teach them diligently to thy Children Deut. 4.9 chap. 11.19 Teach a Child in the way he should go and when he is Old he will not depart from it Prov. 4.4 chap. 22.6 2 Tim. 1.3 Acquaint them by little and little with the great Doctrines of Christianity give them Line upon Line and Precept upon Precept as they are able to receive and bear it Acquaint them betimes with the Word and Works of God When you sit in the House or walk by the Way or lie down or rise up by asking them Questions and putting them upon asking you Abraham's Example is approved and recommended by God in this matter Gen. 18.19 For I know him that he will command his Children and his Houshold after him that they shall keep the way of the Lord. Never diel any Age afford better Helps for Catechizing than this there being so many excellent Catechisms or Summaries of Christian Religion already printed and easy to be had If any of you want a Method for Regular Catechizing in your Families as suppose upon a Lord's-day Evening or once a Week let me mention one which is practised by many with good Success in some Counties of this Nation viz. Let the Master of the Faly begin with a short Invocation of God praying for his Presence Assistance and Blessing and then ask the younger sort Three Questions out of the Assemblies Catechism and upon each of the three Answers ask the explicatory Questions in Mr. Joseph Allen's Catechism or Mr. Lye's so that by answering Yes or No you will perceive whether they understand the matter treated of After this read The fuller Explication of those Three Questions in some larger Catechism as that of Mr. Thomas Vincent and then close with a short Prayer and if you can Sing a Psalm All which may be done in an Hour and you will find it very profitable both for younger and elder People The reading of the Holy Scriptures frequently in your Families as well as in your Closets upon the Week-days as well as upon the Lord's-day I hope I need not use many Arguments to recommend Deut. 11.18 They are able to make us wise unto Salvation and they are suitable to every Case that you