27. And how odious such Marriages are to God you may find declared by the Prophet Mal. 2.11 12. And yet how many such are in the World Families where scarce a form of Religion is to be found Strangers from prayers to God nor Morning nor Evening Prayer to be heard although God reneweth his Mercies every Morning Lamen 3.22 23. and continueth his goodness to the Night Though he declare his most gracious Prefence with us Exod. 13.21 as it were by a Pillar of a Cloud by Day and a Pillar of Fire by Night although God hath been a Defence to their Tabernacles and they have dwelt safely by his goodness yet how many are there who little or nothing take notice of these daily Mercies or observe Gods goodnesse to glorifie him How far unlike are these in this to blessed Daniel Daniel 6.10 or religious King David Psal Psal 55.17 55. who kept acquaintance with God three times a day At morning and evening and noon day will I pray and that instantly and he shall hear my voice c. And therefore they are strangers from God when they should stand in need of his help and want that good which they might enjoy by keeping acquaintance with God of which Eliphaz doth witness Job 22.21 That gracious practice of secret Prayer which our Saviour directs unto Mat. 6.6 Thou when thou prayest enter into thy Closet and shut to thy door and pray to thy Father in secret and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly How many spend so much time openly in vain that they have no leisure for secret Devotions to read and meditate of heavenly things which pertain to eternity or to poure out their Souls as Hannah did to God in Prayer 1 Sam. 1.15 Alas if sins of omission were the only irreligiousness or prophaneness in some Families it were lesse although for these men shall be called to an account at the Day of the last Judgment witness what our Blessed Lord and Saviour declareth Mat. 25.41 42. But their sins of Commission common breach of Gods Commandements witness little fear of God to be before their eyes What common swearing and taking of Gods name in vain forgetting that God threatens he will not hold such guitlesse that take his Name in vain Exod. 20.7 or did men remember that of the Lord by the Prophet Jer. 5.7 How shall I Pardon thee for this thy Children have forsaken me and sworn by them that are no Gods Men yea Children would not swear so commonly by those things which they themselves will confesse are no Gods How difficult a thing is it to hire a Servant from amongst the common sort of People Read Rom. 12.14 Psal 109.17 18. And Mat. 5.34 35 36 37. James 5.12 but they are Swearers or Cursers or both and so Gods Name is dishonoured Children learn of Parents to be irreligious and this too often amongst the Rich as well as Poor I say but little of that common sin too often in greater Families inticing men to Drunkenness by that specious pretence of pledging Healths of Friends pressing men in Drink Read Hab 2 2.15 16. A dreadful Woe to such contrary to that Law and Practice of that Moral Prince King Ahasuerus that none should compel to Drink Hester 2.8 But every one be free to drink what he pleased a shame to men that professe themselves Christians I know in divers great Families there is civility if not a religious respect to avoid these sins But when these abound and men or women rashly unite themselves in Marriage what hope of constant happy Love to continue between Husband and Wife during life I proceed to a second Gold-link of Love between Husband and Wife The second Gold-link of Love that in choice of a Wife or Husband as respect is to be had for likenesse and agreement in Religion so likewise to equality or likeness of qualities and conditions as near as possible For as St. Paul adviseth not to be unequally yoaked with Unbelievers so he presseth his Counsel with a good Argument What fellowship saith he hath righteousness with unrighteousness and what Communion hath Light with Darkness 2 Cor. 6.14 So even right reason will instruct us and daily experience witness that contrary Dispositions of nature or too great inequalities seldom live comfortably together as Fire and Water will not agree the one exsiccateth or quencheth the other But like rejoyceth and delighteth with the like Observe this Rule then for this is a second Direction or Gold-link of Love to preserve Love between Husband and Wife A third Direction A third Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love followeth And this is That some fit respect be had to the age of the Parties to be married for a young man of twenty to marry an old woman man of above three-score or for an old man of fourscore to marry a young woman under twenty is not agreeable because one chief end of Marriage is in danger to be frustrate Gen. 1.27 28. which is Posterity to be brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord as Sr. Paul intimateth Ephes 6.4 Although it is more fit for a very old man to marry a young woman in hope of Posterity then for a very old woman past child-bearing to marry a young man Equality and conveniency do best agree together for the preservation of Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife and this is a third Gold-Link in this Gold Chain of Direction to keep and bind Love fast between Husband and Wife during their Lives The fourth Direction A fourth Direction or Gold-link of love or Gold-Link of Love in a marriage Union there ought to be likenesse and agreement of affection a mutual love and likeing of each others persons and qualities and a knitting and uniting of Hearts together in a right ordered and well grounded Love before the joyning of Hands on the Wedding-Day For where there is an Antipathy or contrariety of Natures or dislike of Persons or Conditions there seldome is a continuance of sweet agreement and satisfaction one to and with another and so Marriage proveth a Bondage instead of a sweet freedom in a happy enjoyment of each other in the Lord as St. Paul desired to enjoy and have joy of Philemon in the Lord St. Paul his Epistle to Philemon verse 20. in whom what we enjoy is a blessing by Christ whereas if the Hearts be truly knit together and united in Love as the heart of Jonathan to David 1 Sam. 18.1 who loved him as his own Soul the Love will be wonderful as was Jonathans to David passing the love of Women 2 Sam. 1.26 Although the love of good women to their Husbands hath been wonderful as Records of ancient Histories do witnesse at full I mean not a light unconstant passionate Love taken upon sight of Beauty or Riches or some such uncertain foundation which is deceitful
contentment and continuance of Love between Husband and Wife is this That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness and conjugal engagements one to and with another that mutual Benevolence and Bond of Marriage-Love at times convenient according to the Law of God and Nature read the blessed Apostles Direction 1 Cor. 7.2 3 4 5 c. and that Law of God Leviticus 18.19 and Leviticus 20.18 and Ezekiel 18.6 These Rules observed This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and preserve mutual conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occasion of Breach and Disquietnesse yea sometimes it may prove of separation and an occasion of Damnable sin if God restrain not by his special Grace yet a Bridle must be to restrain Intemperance in all Delights least excess destroy both Souls and Bodies That is a general Rule Phil. 4.5 Let your moderation be known to all men the Lord is at hand He is present to see all our Actions and to bless or punish according to our Obedience or Disobedience to his Commandements Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love The eighth followeth The eighth Direction or Gold-link of Love And this is That Husbands and Wives be careful of and ready to shew their love to each others Souls as well as to their Bodies or Estates That Husbands love their Wives as Christ loved his Spouse the Church and gave himself for it that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word that he might present it to himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle Eph. 5.25 26 27. or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Husbands ought to take care for the beauty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands as well as to them Cant. 4.7 as the Spouse of Christ is to him The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife The Husband should pray daily for his Wife as St. 1 Thess 5.23 Paul did for his Christian Thessalonians That her whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World Mat. 16.26 What is a man profited if he gain the whole World and lose his Soul or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul What saith that great and blessed Apostle He that provideth not for his own especially for them of his own houshold he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel 1 Tim. 5.8 And if it be a Duty to provide for the Body of his Family or Houshold then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls if it possible be in his power and most of all for his Wives Soul which is his second Self and is or ought to be most dear unto his Soul That her Soul may prosper as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Beloved Gaius 3 John 1.2 That it may appear he loveth his Wife in Truth and so God may bless her unto him for the good of his Soul Body and Estate And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Husbands Souls as well as of the health of their Bodies and Estates This is a means by Gods blessing for the preservation of conjugal Love and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife by the Grace and Power of Christ John 15.15 Phil. 4.13 For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers and means in their places of each others Salvation this St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.16 requiring cohabitation and dwelling together and he expresseth a Reason What knowest thou O Wife whether thou shalt save thy Husband and how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy Wife That is be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel or otherwise by Gods Blessing taking care of the means of Salvation for each other to their powers As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations 1 Pet. 3.1 2 3 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7 Peter directs So the Husbands may win their Wives if they follow St. Peters Counsel Live with their Wives as men of knowledge giving honour to the Wife as the weaker Vessel that their Prayers be not hindred And this is the greatest love which is shewed to the Souls of each other and a work of high esteem and unspeakable benefit James 5.20 Let him know saith St. James That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way shall save a Soul from Death and shall hide a multitude of Sins And thus may a Husband or Wife be helper and means for their eternal mutual happiness if by loving and wise carriage and deportment each to other they can win and gain one or other or both from any evil he or she is subject unto praying to God daily for a Blessing upon their good Endeavours This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love to preserve love and affection and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link A ninth Direction or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love This is that Husband be an example to the Wife of Piety and Chastity Religious Love with care of Cherishing his Wife as the weaker Vessel especially in times of Sickness Weakness or other Infirmities as Christ was kind to his Disciples when they were troubled at the news of his Departure from them John 14.1 2 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in Me in my Fathers House are many Mansions if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you And as Christ hath been to his Church and Children in all Ages especially in any sad Dispensation To speak comfortably as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem Zachar. 1.13 The Lord answered the Angel that talked with me with good words and comfortable words Or as Elkanah did to Hannah when peevish and spiteful Peninnah vexed her because she was barren And Elkanah said Hannah why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons I Sam. 1.8 And the wife ought to be careful not to provoke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband The husband to love his wife as his own Body for he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it as the Lord doth the Church Ephes 5.28 29. Each followeth Christ his
an especiall Gold-link of Love to bind love fast between husband and wife The fourteenth Gold-link of Love followeth The fourteenth Direction or Gold link of Love There ought to be a mutual care of and for Education of their Children which God hath graciously given unto them as Jacob spake to his Brother Esau Gen. 33.5 That they be taught and instructed both in civil and spiritual Respects both in divine and humane Learning according to the Honour and Dignity of their Places and Calling It is King Solomon's Counsel Prov. 22.6 Teach a Child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he is old Especially that they be seasoned with the Catechism and first principles of the Oracles of God Heb. 5.12 and the Knowledge of God's will in the Sacred Scriptures as blessed Timothy was for which St. Paul giveth that excellent Testimony you may read 2 Tim. 3.15 That from a Child he had known the holy Scriptures which are able to make us wise unto Salvation through Faith which is in Christ Jesus This is life eternal to know God the onely true God and whom he hath sent Jesus Christ John 17.3 For this care of instructing Children and Family the Lord himself commended faithful Abraham and maketh him of his secret Counsel Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do And he giveth this for one Reason For I know him saith the Lord that he will Command his Children and his Houshold after him to keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him and his Posterity Gen. 18.19 Again this was God's Command to his People Israel That they should teach their Children diligently the Law and Word of the Lord and thou shalt talk of them when thou art in thy House and when thou walkest by the way and when thou risest up as it is recorded Deut. 6.6 7. and this no doubt with holy reverence and devotion as desirous to reveal God's mind to their Children and Family And Children are commanded to hearken to their Parents instruction Prov. 1.8 My Son hear the Instruction of thy Father and forget not the Law of thy Mother And again Prov. 31.1 you may find the words of King Lemuel the Prophecy which his Mother taught him To conclude the Apostle St. Paul Ephes 6.1 2 3 4. presseth the duty both of Children and Parents First Children obey your Parents in all things as it is fit in the Lord and honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandement with promise That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long in the Land And Fathers provoke not your Children to wrath that they be not discouraged but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord. Thus Children well instructed in the knowledge of God's mind may be a joy to Parents and Parents enjoy their Children as blessings from the Lord and behold them as Olive branches round about their Table to God's Glory Psal 128. and as the Pledges of their mutual Love to each other And this is an excellent Gold-link of Love to preserve and keep mutual Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The fifteenth Direction The fifteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That the Husband and Wife according to their duty do live together and not seperate the one from the other except with consent for a time upon most necessary occasions or that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer and come together again that Satan tempt them not as St. Paul directeth 1 Cor. 7.5 That so living lovingly together as heirs of the Grace of life they may be mutual Helpers to each other in these Conjugal Duties This Rule St. Peter giveth 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives as men of Knowledge And St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.13 If a woman that believeth hath a husband that believeth not or is not a Christian yet if he please to dwell with her let her not leave him but continue that she may be a help to him for his Soul as well as for his Body and Estate When God did make the woman The Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone I will make him a help meet for him Gen. 2 18. And a good wife will be a Helper for good not a hinderance to her husband God did make the woman to be a second-self Mr. Ainsworth in Gen. 2. like him in nature knit to him in Love needful for Children helpful in all Duties present always with him and so very meer and profitable as a joyful Companion in all estates in adversity as well as in Prosperity in Sickness as well as in Health in Poverty as well as in a rich Estate This requireth cohabitation That the wife leave not the husband nor the husband forsake the wife Because this unjust and unchristian forsaking of husband or wife for light differences for any thing less then that which is a sufficient ground for a lawful Divorce by the Law of God This giveth occasion of sin abateth love and cannot expect a blessing from God yea this too often doth break off Love betwixt Husband and Wife when cohabitation doth preserve Conjugal Love and will do if they live in the fear of God and follow his Directions to the end The sixteenth Direction The sixteenth Direction or or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to bind love fast and prevent sinful Breaches betwixt husband and wife is for both to learn that first lesson of a Christian which our Saviour taught his Disciples Math. 16.24 They must sometimes deny themselves that is their own wills and desires passions and affections bridle rash anger and over-rule their passions yea their right sometimes for quietness sake they must not be both self-willed nor both angry at once or at the same time King Solomon witnesseth That he that is stow to Anger is better then the Mighty and he that ruleth his Spirit then he that taketh a City Prov. 16.32 And a soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger Prov. 15.1 And again that wise man Prov. 19. Prov. 19.9 19. It is better to dwell in a Corner of the house top then with a Brawling woman in a wide House And again verse 19. It is better to dwell in the Wilderness then with a contentious and angry woman And that Kingly Preacher again Eccles 7.9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosome of Fools Simile It was a witty conceit of the Father who gave two Caps to his new married Son and Daughter made fit for Solomons angry Fools with this Contract that they should never put them on both at once But if the husband had put on his Cap the wife should let hers lie still not take it by any means and the same direction to
A Gold Chain OF Directions WITH Twenty Gold-Linkes of Love to preserve Love firm between Husband and Wife during their Lives Profitable for all that are already Married or that intend to take the Honourable and Holy estate of Marriage upon them hereafter Advising for a Right Choice in Marriage and how to keep from those sad Consequences have fallen out in too many Families sometimes upon small dislike between Husband and Wife That happiness may be the Inheritance of Parents and Posterities through the Grace of God in Christ Jesus Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband Ep. 5.33 By Immanuel Bourne a Minister of Christ Jesus our blessed Lord and Saviour London Printed by J. Streater for George Sawbridge dwelling on Clerken-well Green 1669. To the Right Honourable and Noble Lord John Lord Roos the only Son and Heir And to the Right Noble young Ladies the Lady Dorothy Lady Elizabeth Lady Anne and Lady Mary Mannors the eminently virtuous Daughters of the Right Honourable and truly Noble Lord John Earl of Rutland and of the Right Noble Lady the Lady Frances the worthily honoured Countesse of Rutland and my most free and noble Patron and Patronesse and to the rest of their honourable Family and Relations All health and happiness with true content and honour unto you all and to your Noble Parents and their Posterity in this life and eternal glory and blessedness in and by the Lord Jesus Christ in the life to come RIght Noble and my much honoured Lord It is too apparent that if this or the like spiritual Gold Chain of Directions for the happy Choice and enjoyment of a virtuous good Wife and Husband and the Declaration of their mutual Duties to each other had been better known unto and observed after your Marriage by your late so nobly born Lady and no doubt adorned with a noble and honourable Education by her honourable and truly Noble Parents in her younger dayes the too publick and to be lamented Breach between your Honours might by God's blessing have been saved Now to prevent the like disagreement if God in his most wise Providence shall grant you a second Marriage-Union I have made bold and thought good humbly to present these twenty heavenly Gold-links of Love as so many Scripture-Rules of Direction to your Honours your Noble Ladies Reading Meditation and Practice Pray daily to God for your future Happiness and Contentment both in your Choice and Enjoyment to the end of your life And for you ever to be honoured Ladies what can your desires be more or better for this present life then to live happily in a single estate whilest the most wise God seeth it best for you so to continue And to live joyfully with honourable and truly Noble faithful kind and loving Husbands when the same most gracious God shall call you to the high and honourable estate of Marriage The first God hath blessed you with already living with your tender loving and ever to be honoured Parents providently taking care for your noble and virtuous Education with all things necessary for your present Contentment And for the second that you may be blessed in your right Choice and happy enjoyment of truly Noble Religious Faithful and Loving kind Husbands I have exercised my spirit in Reading and Meditation to find out in the sacred Scriptures and consider what Directions might be most available to further your or any others so great a Happiness and have judged best and resolved to bind together some easie Rules of Guidance both for Choice and Life-lasting Possession of such an unvaluable Treasure in the mode or term of a rich Chain of Gold with twenty spiritual Gold-links of Love more pretious then Rubies or sparkling glorious Diamonds of high price and value with the noblest Lords and Ladies in the World They are a kind of body apparrelled not in Courtly attire of silken Rhetorical Elegancies or with Ear-pleasing words and delightful Expressions like some feigned Peices but presented to your Honours in a plain Country dress as desiring they should more take the Hearts with Divine spiritual Counsels in them then the Ear with the sound of pleasing words filled with fancied matters which often times prove but loss of pretious time without any Soul-profit to the Readers Now if you honoured Lord and you noble Ladies please to accept of this Gold Chain of Love as the Testimony of my hearty Desire of your true good both Spiritual and Temporal and the best Gift I am now provided to present unto you I shall esteem it a noble Favour and continue my daily Prayers to God for his blessing upon my ever honoured Lord and Lady your Honourable Parents upon your Honours and all their Honourable Posterity and Relations and Remain From my Study in Waltham in Leicester-shire Novemb 2. 1668. Right Noble Lord and ever honoured Ladies Your aged Servant ready to Honour and Serve you in and for the Lord Jesus Christ Immanuel Bourne Aged 78 years compleat if I live until Dec. 27. next preserved hitherto through Gods mercy Lam. 3. 22 23. THE EPISTLE Dedicatory general To all honoured Christians who have taken upon them the honorable Estate of Matrimony or that intend if God so order it to be marrried hereafter and desire a blessed Union and Communion in a married condition that they may live lovingly together as Heirs of the Grace of Life here on Earth and be happy in Heaven for ever HOnoured Christians for so I cannot but stile all that truly know and believe in God thorough the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour since he hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us spiritual Kings and Priests unto God his Father Rev. 1.5 Marriage is honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled but Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge Hebr. 13.4 And Love is the bond of perfectness Col. 3.19 Now to preserve Love and prevent dishonouring of this honourable Estate I have dedicated this Gold Chain of Directions with twenty Gold-links of Love unto you I commend them to your serious Reading Meditation Application and Practise the Phrase is but plain without inticeing words of mans wisdome 1 Cor. 2.4 but the subject-matter Divine from grounds of sacred Scripture that light to our Feer and lamp to our Pathes as the Holy Ghost by the mouth of King David testifieth Acts 1.16 Holy men spake as they were inspired by the Holy Ghost 2 Pet. 1.21 Psal 119.105 And if God give a blessing and inable you to tread all your lives in these pleasant Pathes of Love they may bring more Profit and comfort to Husbands and Wives in the married estate then rich Jewels of greatest value and high esteem amongst the Princes of this World which that you may find true by daily Experience is the earnest Prayer of Your most humble SERVANT in and for
Christ JESUS Immanuel Bourne From my Study in Waltham in the County of Leicester October 20. 1668. A COPY OF THE EPISTLE OF The very Learned and Godly Doctor Wilkinson Declaring his Judgment upon this Gold Chain of Directions to preserve mutual Love between Husband and Wife Translated into English by a Friend To the Reverend and Learned my worthy Friend Master Immanuel Bourne Rector of Waltham these present Reverend Sir THe Book which in your kind Respects you delivered into my hands I have with most earnest desiring Eyes perused throughout which most happy Work as well of your Heart as Head more inwardly searching to understand seemeth to me to be a Gold-Chain indeed as much as I conceive and apprehend like another Iliade inclosed in the shell of a Nut comprehending very many things inservient for the publick good wherefore you are earnestly intreated by me that this Diatribe Discourse or Argument so very profitable and seasonable which now you have taken care to be perfected you would take care to be brought to the light as fitted for the profit of the whole Common Wealth both the Married and to be Married will owe very much unto you as opportunely admonishing every of them of their Proper Duties That I may declare my Opinion from the bottome of my Heart I most willingly professe in this little Book so pithy and full of Juyce you have on each part abundantly delivered your Faith truly worthy a Minister of the Gospel Therefore let it be far from you that by any means on your behalf it should be hindred by any further delay from being put to the Printer that the work so prosperously by you finished may enjoy the publick Light Farewel most learned and pious SIR to be honoured for your venerable gray Hairs and embrace me with your accustomed Favour A most studious worthy Respecter of you Hen. Wilkinson From Buckminster-Hall Nov. 4. 1668. Reverende Vir QUem mihi in manus pro candore tuo tradidisti Librum oculis quà m avidissimis perlustravi Quod ipsum Opus longè felicissimum tam cordis tui quam cerebri videat mihi penitius exploranti intelligere Auream esse reverâ catenam in quantum sapiam capiam Iliadem alteram quam plurima bono publico inservientia vel in nucis inclusam putamine complectentem Quocirca à me quam maximè serio exorandus es ut istam Diatribam apprime utilem tempestivam quam jamjam lima curasti donandam luce donandam è vestigio curares ut pote totius reipublica utilitati attemperatam Plurimum tibi debebunt tam Maritati quam Maritandi cum eorum unumquemque proprii officii tempestivè commonefeceris Quòd ab imo pectore emanantem animi mei expromam sententiam haud illibenter profiteor in ista scriptiùncula ut nervosa et succi plenâ fidem tuam omni ex parte te abunde liberasse Ministro dignam vere Evangelico Absit itaque ut per te quovismodo steterit vel ex tua parte ulterior Typographo iniiciatur Remora quo minus opus istud à te feliciter concinnatum luce frueretur Vale vir Doctissime juxtà ae Pientissime veneranda canitie Honorande neque ut soles amore tuo complectitor Tui quam animitus cultorem studiosissimum HEN. WILKINSON Dabam Aula-Buckminsteri Nov. 4. 1668. A Gold Chain OF DIRECTIONS WITH Twenty Gold Linkes of Love to preserve Love between Husband and Wife FIrst The first Direction or gold link of Love To preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife the Spirit of God in Sacred Scripture directs That a special Care be taken in the choice of a Wife or of a Husband Beza upon that place Non ut Arabs interpres c. sed religiosè cum Dei timore So Mr. Calvin Benedictus Aretius Pareus according to the Rule of the blessed Apostle St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.39 That they marry in the Lord That is not only a Christian by Profession and not an Infidel as an Arabian Interpreter conceiveth which Mr. Beza noteth But religiously and in the fear of God as other godly and learned Divines judge That in their choice they respect a Religion for thus Marriages are Contracted more prosperously and a blessing may be expected when the married parties both fear God Such being pronounced blessed by the Holy Ghost Psal 112.1 Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord that delighteth greatly in his Commandements His seed shall be mighty upon Earth the Congregation of the upright shall be blessed Wealth and Riches shall be in his house and his righteousnesse endure for ever And again Psal 128. The same Prophet King David speaketh the same in effect inspired by the Holy Ghost 2 Pet. 1.20 21. Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord that walketh in his wayes for thou shalt eat the labour of thy hands happy shalt thou be and it shall be well with thee Thy wife shall be as the fruitful Vine by the sides of thy house thy Children like the Olive plants round about thy Table Behold that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord the Lord shall bless thee out of Zion and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the dayes of thy life yea thou shalt see thy childrens children and peace upon Israel Thus an excellent blessing comes to them that fear God But on the contrary part when the Man or Woman is an Idolater Atheistical Prophane or Deboist without the fear of God any way wicked by Education Custome or Condition a Curse may rather be expected then a Blessing That Kingly Preacher Eccles 8.12 13. giveth this evidence That although a Sinner do evil an hundred times and his dayes be prolonged yet I know it shall be well with them that fear God which reverence before him But it shall not be well with the wicked neither shall he prolong his dayes which are as a shadow because he feareth not before God It fell out thus with the old World Gen. 6.1 2 3. c. when the Sons of God the Children of religious Parents Members of the Church did see the Daughters of Men that they were fair Gen 7.1 3. that is the Posterities of Prophane and that wicked Cain and they that were or should have been Gods Children made choice of these prophane irreligious Wives they provoked God to anger and he brought in the Flood upon the world of the Ungodly 2 Pet. 2.5 to their Destruction only religious Noah and his Family were saved alive in the Ark. Gen. 7.23 Again prophane Esau Gen. 24.63 the Son of religious Isaac by the evil choice of his Wives was a grief of mind to his aged Parents Isaac and Rebecka Gen. 26.34 35. and too many such like Marriages we read of in holy Scriptures 1 King 11.1 2 3. to have been in the World as you may find at full if you search the Sacred Records 2 Kings 8.26
and vain as King Solomon witnesses First of Riches Prov. 23.5 Wilt thou set thy Eyes upon that which is not for Riches certainly make themselves Wings and fly away as Eagles towards Heaven They are uncertain 1 Tim. 6.17 and not to be trusted in And again the like for Beauty Favour is deceitful and Beauty is vanity But a Woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Prov. 31.30 When a right grounded love in the fear of the Lord which is praise-worthy is permanent and will endure for life I know upon some occasions A prevention of Objection there may want time and opportunity of such a familiar Converse with each other which may be helpful to such a well grounded love as between great Princes who are constrained to Wooe and intercede sometimes by Ambassadors as Isaac Genesis 24 1 2 63. that religious Prince did by the religious Servant of his honourable Father Abraham I call Abraham honourable for he is stiled a mighty Prince Genesis 23.6 And this Ambassadour went to intercede for a Wife for Isaac This done by his Masters Command and no doubt with Isaac's consent who was advised by his Father in choice of his Wife as Rebeckah was by her Parents who willingly sent her with Abraham's Servant yet so as Rebeckah first was asked her consent also as you may read at large Gen. 24.57 58. Gen. 24. Thus religious Isaac walking out into the Fields at Eventide to meditate and pray Gen. 24.63 espieth his Rebeckah coming goeth on to meet her and bringeth her into his Mothers Tent and she became his Wife and he loved her Gen. 24.67 Thus a good choice with love and Gods blessing made a happy Marriage to both their joyes and no doubt to the joy of aged Abraham that blessed Father of the Faithful And thus you have a fourth Gold-link in this Gold Chain of Love I will give you but one Preparative Gold link of Love more A fifth Direction or Gold link of Love And this is That not only Parents consent and blessing may be had if possible as no doubt Isaac and Rebeckah had and their blessing And she blessed Rebeckah and said be thou the Mother of thousands of millions Gen. 24.60 and let thy Seed possess the Gate of those that hate thee But that by their Parents provision or thy own wisdom there be care taken that one or both have an estate for convenience and comfortable maintenance if not of great Riches yet to have what Agur prayed for Prov. 30.8 9. To be fed with food convenient least want of Necessaries occasion Complaint and that breed Differences and Love receive a Dampe and an Abatement and so marriage which should be a Merry-Age prove an Age of Sorrow Sadness and Discontent yea of Sin and wickedness sometimes for although the Husband taketh the Wife and the Wife the Husband for better or worse for Richer or Poorer yet if God of his free Grace in Christ give not a contentednesse of spirit and humblenesse of mind to submit to Divine Providences and to know and learn as St. Paul did Phil. 4.11 12 13. In every estate to be content Both Souls and Bodies may repent such Marriages and wish they had been wiser when it is too late Before God made Man and Woman our first Parents Adam and Eve and married them together He first made the World Gen. 1.27 28. and enriched them with Dominion over the Creatures Gen. 2.23 24. for their comfortable living in a married estate Gen. 1.1 2 c. He gave them plentiful Provision for them and their Posterity Gen. 9.1 2 3 4. as he did after to Noah Thus should Parents take Care for their Children or Children for themselves to preserve Love between Husband Wife during lives Thus much for pre-considerations before Marriages Now a sixth Gold-link of Love A sixth Direction or Gold-link of Love for a joyful happy life in a married estate is that the married Parties ought to labour for a daily increase of Graces 1 Pet. 3.7 2 Pet. 3.18 and to get assurance that they are both of them married to Christ Eph. 5.31 32. and have the Lord Jesus for their heavenly Husband and so be married one to another in Christ as Christ is to his Spouse the Church Hos 2.19 20. Happy is the Soul which is married to Christ Isa 9.6 He is an everlasting Father to take care and provide for his Spouse the Church Rev. 1.18 A heavenly Husband that never dieth but liveth ever to provide for his beloved Spouse for every Soul that is united in marriage to him Isa 54.5 He is a blessed Husband whose Name is the Lord of Hosts and our Redeemer Mat. 18.20 Mat. 28.20 a Saviour who hath promised to be present with his Church his Beloved to the end of the World And to deliver in greatest danger Isa 43.1 2 3 4. in fiery Afflictions it shall not burn them in watry they shall not be drowned There is no better yea none so good a Husband as Christ none to be loved so much as our heavenly Huband the Lord Jesus Therefore we ought to labour daily for a blessed increase of our love to Christ because he loved us first 1 John 4.19 And as we ought to be enflamed every day more and more in love to Christ So ought Husbands and Wives to endeavour truly to cherish increase and preserve mutual Love to and with each other as the Apostle St. Paul prayeth for his Christian Ephesians Eph. 3.17 18 19. that Christ may dwell in their Hearts by Faith that being rooted and grounded in Love they may be able to comprehend with all Saints what is the bredth and length and depth and height of that love of God which passeth Knowledge they may be filled and satisfied with the fulnesse of God So Husbands and Wives being rooted and grounded in Love may be satisfied with each others Love as that wise King Solomon adviseth Prov. 5.18 19. I speak not of a meer carnal Love which will not make their Souls happy but of a right Conjugal Love between Man and Wife well rooted and rightly cherished which will make their Lives delightful and hath Gods blessing of perseverance in true love united unto it with joy to the end Cant. 2.3 Cant. 8.6 7. like the Love of Christ to his Church A Tree new set or planted may easily be plucked up again But if it hath taken root and be well grown it will abide both wind and weather and a true fervent Love many Waters cannot quench it as Solomon speaks of that Love between Christ and his Church it will endure during the Lives of the Lovers to their Rejoycings as being sealed with Constancy and setled in the Heart This is a sixth Gold-link of Love A seventh Direction A seventh Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to enjoy happy
Golden Rule Mat. 7.12 to do to each other as they would be done by And if any unkindness hath been not to rest quietly untill there be a Reconciliation Sleep not untill they can sleep in Love and loving Embracements of each other say in any neglect of Love or in any occasion of Breach would I have Christ my Lord and spirituall husband so unkind to me as I am to my wife and may the wife say would I have Christ so unkind to me to forsake my soul or withdraw his love from me as I have done from my husband and so may the husband say in respect of his wife This mutual care of kindnesse is a precious Gold link of Love to bind love fast during life A tenth Direction or Gold-link of love The tenth Direction or Gold link of Love Husbands and wives must take heed their love be rightly qualified First let Love be without Dissimulation This is that Rule of the Holy Ghost recorded by the Apostle St. Paul Rom. 10.9 Secondly Let love be without Bitterness so the same Apostle Coloss 3.19 Husbands love your Wives and be not bitter against them Nor ought wives to be such to their husbands Love and Bitterness connes agree well together Psal 64.3 this is contrary to love to shoot out Arrows even bitterness or bitter actions instead of pleasant and lovely Sinilitude This is to mingle Gall with Honey or soure sharp Vinegar with sweet Wine it will make all distasteful a husband must not be like unto a Crab Orange or Lemon fair on the outside to the shew and soure and bitter within pleasing with sugared words abroad Sweet-heart before Company and of a froward and perverse Disposition at home or in private nor must the wife be so to the husband Eph. 5.1 2. but both walk in true Love as Christ hath loved us The eleventh Direction The eleventh Direction or Gold link of Love or Gold link of Love to preserve mutual love between husband and wife is mutually fidelity and faithfulnesse each to other according to the marriage Covenant they ought to forsake all other and keep mutually onely to themselves so long as they both shall live Yea they ought to be very careful to avoid all occasions of jealousies of or against each other and to hate jealousie as a most dangerous enemy except there be evident and sure ground of each others disloyalty and sinful Breach of the marriage Covenant The Jews were a very jealous People jealous of their wives upon slight occasions and often put their wives away with a Bill of Divorce for slight occasions and causes which did not break the Bands of Matrimony against which our Saviour speaks Mat. 5.31 32. Mat. 19.3 4 5 c. The Jews were so jealous That upon small suspition they would forbid their wives to keep any Company in secret with any of whom they were jealous and if after the wife was thus forbid before two witnesses as the Jewish Doctors declare if she was proved to be in secret with such a Maymony in misn com 2. See Mr. Ainsworth in Numb 5. one The husband brought her before the Magistrate and she was to be put to the Tryal of seu honesti by the bitter water of Jealousy which if she were guilty would cause her Belly to swell and her Thigh to rot as you may read in that Law for Trial of jealousy Numb 5.11.12 to the end And ver the thirtieth The Text saith That when the Man is free from Iniquity Mâ—ymoâ—y in Jotaâ— cap. 2. sect 8. the Woman guilty beareth her Iniquity Therefore amongst the Israelites it is said See Mr. Ainsworth in Num. 5.30 That no man which had himself been guilty that way could bring his wife to this Tryal The guilty man could not bring his wife to this Tryal of bitter Water Rom. 2.1 that is by this bitter water according to the Law of Jealousy afore But it is most certain That it is the duty both of the husband and wife to be careful by power from Christ to avoid all occasions of jealousy in both according to that Rule of God's word and Direction of the Holy Ghost by the Apostle St. Paul To abstain from all appearance of Evill 2 Thess 5.22 And that ancient Law of God Levit. 19.14 Thou shalt not put a stumbling block before the blind But thou shalt fear thy God I am the Lord. And pressed again by the blessed Apostle Rom. 14.13 Let us not judge one another any more but judge thus rather that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his Brothers way I must avoid occasion of sin my self and I must not give occasion of sin to another nor of this sin of unjust jealousy to my husband or to my wife For many are the miseries may follow to husband or wife jealousie is the rage of a man therefore he will not spare in the day of Vengeance He will not regard any Ransome neither will he rest content though thou givest many Gifts witnesse King Solomon Pro. 6.34 35. And jealousie is cruel as the Grave the Coals thereof are Coals of fire which hath a most vehement flame witnesse the spirit of God Can. 8.6 This taking care to avoid all occasion of jealousy is a powerful means to preserve Conjugal Love between husband and wife But much more the Grace of fidelity and constant care of faithfulness each to other according to that sacred Bond of Marriage The husband ought to be careful to be faithful to his wife forsaking all other witnesse the spirit of God Prov. 5.18 19. Let thy Fountain be blessed and rejoyce with the Wife of thy youth Let her be as the Loving Hind and Pleasant Roe Let her Brests satisfie thee at all times and be thou ravished alwayes with her Love And the same Spirit of God speaketh the same again Prov. 6.23.24 25 c. The Commandement is a Lampe and the Law a Light and reproof of Instruction is the way of life to keep thee from the evil Woman which flattereth with her Tongue and from the flattery of the Tongue of the strange woman Lust not after her beauty in thy Heart neither let her take thee with her Eye-lids For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of Bread and the Adulteress will hant for the precious life Can a man take Fire in his Bosome and his Clothes not be burnt Can one go upon hot Coales and his feet not be burnt So he that goeth into his Neighbours wife whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent This sin of Adultery or Fornication breaketh the Command of the great God Who is a consuming Fire Heb. 12.29 The Law of that All-seeing every where present God Jer. 23 23 24. before whose Eye Prov. 5.21 Heb. 4.13 Mat. 12.36 Amos 4.13 all things are open and naked whatsoever we can speak do or think The command of this
Mighty God is Thou shalt not Commit Adultery Ex. 20.14 The Lord himself will be witness against such Mal. 2.14 The Lord saith the Prophet hath been a witnesse between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast dealt treacherously yet she is thy Companion and the wife of thy Youth yea of thy Govenant to keep thee only to her And did not he make one saith the Prophet and yet had be residue of spirit and wherefore one one man and one woman that he might seek a godly feed Therefore take heed to your spirit saith he and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth Mal. 2.15 And the same is the sin of the wife and her wickednesse if she break the Marriage-Covenant as you may read Prov. 2.16 17 18. To deliver thee from the strange woman which flattereth with her words which forsaketh the guide of her Youth and forgetieth the Covenant of her God for her House inclineth to Death and her Pathes unto the Dead none that go unto her return again neither take they hold of the Pathes of Life And Prov. 7.27 Of the Adulterous woman the wise wise man concludeth That her House is the way to Hell going down to the Chambers of Death A Whore is a deep Ditch and a strange Woman a narrow Pit Proverbs 23.27 Therefore to be avoyded as snares and Pits prepared for thy Destruction Both the Adulterer and Adultoress they sin grievously and their punishment will be terrible except God in time give them true Repentance for by the Law of God they were both to be stoned to death Levit. 20.10 and Deut. 22.22 That sentence of the Apostle is terrible Hebr. 13.14 Marriage is Honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled But Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge In this life this sin of Adultery and Fornication oftentimes is an occasion of Murder As Shechem's Fornication with Dinah Jacob's Daughter occasioned the Murder of the Shechentites Gen. 34.21 c. And Ammon's Ravishing of Tamar 2 Sam. 13.27 28 c. Besides it excludes such out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6.9 10. And on Earth it is a cause of Divorce as our Saviour declares Mat. 5.32 And thus you see how necessary mutual fidelity is to preserve Conjugall Love between Husband and Wife while they live The twelfth Direction A twelfth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That either of them or both of them have a special Care of their mutual Duties to give right and due respect to each other First the Wife to honour and reverence her Husband as her Head and to obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord as Sarah that great Lady did honour and obey Abraham her Husband calling him Lord 1 Peter 3.6 I say Obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord For as this is the rule of Childrens Obedience to their Parents given by the Spirit of God Ephes 6.1 So it is the rule of all Inferiours to obey their Superiours in all things lawful in the Lord yea expediently also it is to be respected A Husband may not prostitute his Wives Chastity or Honour as he may not prostitute his Daughter to be a Whore as you may read Leviticus 19.29 Nor Husband nor Father can lawfully Command a Wife or Daughter to consent to such a sin nor is either Wife or Daughter bound to obey in such sinful Commands no Superiour hath power to command an Inferiour to sin against Gods Command The Answer to such unlawful Commands of Men or Women is set down by the Holy Ghost Acts 5.20 It is better to obey God then Man These unlawful Commands will stop the current of Love between Husband and Wife For as the Wife is to honour the Husband as her Head so the Husband is no way to dishonour or seek to dishonour his Wife but to honour her as the weaker Vessel as a Coheir with him of the Grace of Life as the Apostle directs 1 Peter 3.7 This living together as heirs of the Grace of Life must be of the Husband to his Wife as to a Companion and Fellow in the Bonds of Marriage as may be intimated Mal. 2.14 15 16. For when God made the Woman as he did not take her out of the Head of Adam to be above him so he did not take her out of Adams Feet to be trampled upon but out of his Side near to his Heart Gen. 2.21 22. to be honoured and loved as his Fellow Helper and beloved Companion And this kind respect on both sides is an excellent means and help to preserve Love between Husband and Wife to the end The thirteenth Direction The thirteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That both husband and wife be mutually carefull in their places for the preservation or increase of their Estate and Provision and Government of their Houshold or Family and provide both for the present and for the future This care of the Husband and his Duty we may learn from that great Apostle 1 Tim. 5.8 If any man provide not for his own especially for those of his own Houshold he hath denied the Faith and is worse then an Infidel That was good Counsel of Solomon Prov. 27.23 24. Be thou diligent to know the state of thy Flocks and look well to thy Herds For Riches are not for ever and doth the Crown endure to every Generation Providence is requisite to preserve an Estate I remember it is above threescore years since when I was in Oxford I did see a little Book of good Counsel writ by a noble Lord to his Son in which he advised his Son to divide his Estate into three parts First one part he might spend in ordinary Expences House-keeping Apparrel and such like A second part lay aside for extraordinary occasions for himself and the Church and Common-wealth And a third part to lay up for increase of his Estate If a man spend beyond his Estate or live at the highest rate of his Incomings he will be constrained to live of borrowing and so of borrowing in the end if in time he labour not to prevent And for the wife also Solomon giveth an excellent Description of a virtuous woman as Prov. 31.10 11 12. to the end of that Chapter read it at your leisure Verses 27.28 He saith a virtuous woman She looketh well to the wayes of her Houshold and eateth not the Bread of idlenesse her Children rise up and call her blessed he Husband also and he praiseth her c. He concludeth Give her of the fruit of her Hands and let her own workes praise her in the Gates The good wife will consider her husbands estate and not presse him to spend above power She will do her husband good and not hurt all the dayes of her life Prov. 31.12 Thus whon there is a mutual providential care of husband and wife for themselves Family and Posterity This is
the wife This is a means to enjoy peace It was the moral mans Observation Heratius Latius regres avidum domande spiritum c. That a man should conquer more by ruling his spirit then by conquering the greatest Person in the World And the Holy Spirit of God directs that we should forbear one another in love Co. 3.13 and the same Apostle exhorts to be long-suffering this is our duty as Christian in general and the same is incumbent upon man and wife in particular to yield sometimes to each other in love That was an excellent example of Self-denyal Example which faithful Abraham gave when his wife Sarah was angry with her Maid Hagar whom she her self had given to her Husband to get Children because she her self was barren as you may read Gen. 16.1 2. Abraham left her Maid at her Mistresse dispose and she by her hard usage made her fly away And this must needs be against Abraham's heart that Hagar should be so hardly used and constrained to fly away whom he had gotten with Child by his Wives consent and no doubt had affection for her yet Abraham condescends to his wife for Abraham said unto Sarah Thy Maid is in thy hand do to her as it pleaseth thee Again when Sarah had brought forth Isaac and Sarah did see Ismael the Son of Hagar mocking of her Son Isaac She calleth to Abraham her Husband Put away the Bond-woman and her Son for the Son of the Bond-woman shall not be heir with my Son even with Isaac Gen. 21.10 11. This thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his Son Ismael yet as God directs him he yieldeth to his wife and putteth away Hagar and Ismael out of doors and then all was at peace Thus sometimes a sweet Condescenâ—sin in things lawful is a sweet well-pleasing means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife And as the Husband so the Wife is to labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to be of a self-denying submitting meek and quiet spirit which in the eyes of the Lord is a thing much set by witnesse Saint Peter 1 Pet. 3.4 For a Wife to deny her self Example and her own will for the love of her Husband is a means to preserve Love and prevent the danger of separation Had Queen Vasti denyed her self to please her Husbands fancy of shewing her Beauty to his Guests as he desired Hester 1.11 12. she might have prevented his anger and continued Queen to her death in all likelihood Thus you see the passing by of occasions of anger and a loving condescending to each others lawful desires is an excellent Gold-link of Love and means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife during Lives The seventeenth Direction The seventeenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love now followeth This is to exercise spiritual wisdome how and when to speak one to another of any thing that is not well done or said by either party or that they perceive is contrary to either of their minds or affections or not for their profit safety or honour A word fitly spoken in due season how good is it saith King Solomon Prov. 15.23 And Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver And the kingly Preacher telleth us there is a time for all things Eccles 3.1 For that which is spoken may be well taken at one time which will not be so well resented at another time For Example Example when Churlish covetous Nabal had used Davids young men unkindly and brought himself and Family in great danger we see Abigail meeting David with a Present and pacifieth David and prevents his shedding of Blood as you may read 1 Sam. 25.26 and returning home she findeth her Husband keeping a Feast like a King and merry with Wine for he was very Drunken verse 36. wherefore she told him nothing less or more untill the morning But it came to pass in the morning when the Wine was gone out of Nabal then she told him these things and then he was sensible of his folly to the full 1 Sam. 25.37 1 Sam. 25.37 Thus when a Husband or Wife is in any Distemper drunken with Wine or strong drink or with any passion or discontent it is wisdome to forbear speaking and to observe a sit time and in a loving manner to declare mildly and peaceably what was a failing on either part and that with meeknesse of spirit For a soft Answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up Anger as we noted before Prov. 15.10 The Apostle St. James his direction is good James 1.19 20. Be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath for the wrath of Man worketh not the righteousness of God Thus spiritual policy yea even civil wisdome is one special help to quench the fire of jars and unnecessary fallings out and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife during their lives An eighteenth Direction The eighteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love is to be of a well-pleasing quiet spirit toward each other not seeking quarrels but rather seeking to please one another in Love in the Lord this duty St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.33 34. The married man careth for the things of this World how he may please his wife and the married woman how she may please her Husband The Apostle holdeth this out I humbly conceive not only as a practice but as a Christian duty also to be careful both Husband and Wife to please one another in all things lawful and convenient in the Lord for Rom. 15.1 2 3. He giveth this Rule for Christians in general That the strong ought to bear the Infirmities of the weak and not to please our selves But let every one please his Neighbour to Edification Now if this be the duty of all Christians to please one another for their good Then much more of Husbands and Wives to be well-pleasing to each other not to be contentious or quarrelsome or cross for Trifles or small Matters but to be wise and seek to please and give content to each other according to their Duties and Places This is heavenly wisdome saith St. James which is from above and is first pure then peaceable gentle and easie to be intreated full of mercy and good fruits without partiality and without hypocrisie James 3.17 18. And this wisdome ought to be between Husband and Wife to be peaceable not troublesome to each other For as the wise man speaketh He that troubleth his own House shall inherit the Wind and the Fool shall be servant to the wise in heart Prov. 11.29 And Prov. 19.13 11. A foolish Son is the calamity of his Father and the contentions of a Wife are a continual dropping it will rot a house in time And again Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers But a prudent Wife is from the Lord Prov. 19.14
A contentious Wife will trouble a Family and bring disquietness to a quiet Husband Therefore the Wife is to be peaceable and the same ought to be the care of the Husband not to be captious chiding with his Wife for every small thing he seeth amisse But to follow the Apostles Rule 1 Thess 4.11 Study to be quiet especially with his Wife This is a hopeful means to prevent disturbance in a Family and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love is to learn and act St. Paul his practice as it is recorded Phil. 4.11 12 13. If a Man hath married a Wife or a Woman a Husband which proveth not according to expectation First it may be a cross or careless Husband or one that is tyrannical over his Wife to make her his Slave or his Servant or otherwise that is a daily vexation to his provident and pious good Wife a common Tavern or Ale-house-Haunter or a desperate Gamester a mispender of his precious time or estate in idle or evil Company neglecting his Calling and Houshold occasions 1 Sam. 25.17 c. or a Nabal a Churlish Clown and ingratefull as Nabal was Or that a Husband hath failed of his expectation and hath met with a riotous mispending Wife or one that is perverse and unquiet or contrary to the Apostles Rule will usurp authority over the Man which she ought not 1 Tim. 2.12 If she prove sickly or diseased weak and unable to perform all Duties yet if she be faithful to him in the Marriage Covenant to keep her onely to him so long as they both shall live If God lay his Hand upon them with or in Tryals and Troubles Losses and Crosses in the World they must both labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to submit to God's Providence and to be content with their Lot and Condition It may be God did leave thee to thy self in the Choice of Wife or of thy Husband for tryal of thy Faith or Patience or other Graces Good Patient Job had not the best Wife that was so unkind to him in his great Affliction as you may read Job 19.17 It may be God saw it best for thee to have such a Wife or such a Husband to humble thee or for other ends and all for thy good which all things must be If thou love God and art called by Christ to repent and believe on him according to God's purpose as St. Paul Rom. 8.28 Therefore to study Piety and contentment shall be your great gain in the end as the Spirit of God witnesseth 1 Tim. 6.6 Labour then by Love to amend what you find amiss in each other and that by all fair means This will be a way to prevent worse evils and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives whilst they live The twentieth and last Direction A twentieth Direction or Gold-link of love or Gold link of Love to preserve Love between Husbands and wives which I shall give at this time is to pray constantly and piously with Faith and Fervency to God as reconciled in Christ There is Grace and Wisdome and strength in Christ to inable you to perform these and all other Duties required of you Read Joh. 1.16 Joh. 15.5 Col. 1.19 Col. 2.3 Phil. 4.11 12 13. both for and with one another not in private onely in your Family but in secret in your Closets if possibly it may be That the most blessed God will in and for the Merits of Christ pardon all Sins heal all Infirmities and by his free Grace in Christ supply all defects and reform whatsoever is found amiss either in Husband or Wife and by the Power and Spirit and Grace of Christ to inable them to perform all Duties first to God then to each other with care and faithfulness yea to all other Superiors Inferiors or equally so to live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life that your Prayers be not hindred The Husband may say to the Wife 1 Pet. 3.7 and the Wife to her Husband as Samuel said to the Israelites 1 Sam. 12.23 God forbid I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you Prayer is a Duty incumbent upon all to practice daily And the fervent Prayer of God's Children is effectuall James 5.16 17. If any be tempted to any Sin pray as St. Paul did 2 Cor. 12.7 8 9. Isaac prayed for his Wife and God heard him and gave her Children Genesis 25.21 Hannah she prayed for a Son and God gave her the Request of her Soul 1 Sam. 2.23 What should I tell you That Monica St. Augustins good Mother did pray for her Son and the Lord heard her and fulfilled her desires What greater encouragement can be or need to be to this duty Pray till God answer Joh. 16.23 then that gracious Promise of our Saviour That whatsoever we ask the Father in his Name he will give it us Joh. 16.3 Oh then my Beloved in Christ Pray as Jacob did Gen. 32.26 Hosea 12.4 be sure to practice this duty of Prayer not onely in publick in the Congregations joyn with the publick Prayers of the Church But in private in your Families and in secret in your Closets daily Persevere in prayer untill God bless you Rom. 12.12 And if you have not Prayer-Books to answer every Dispensation and to direct you in particular Petitions according to your present Necessities as who hath Then learn and labour to be able your selves by the help of the Spirit of Prayer and Supplication promised to Gods Church and Children Zach. 12.10 To make your Request known unto God upon all occasions Read Phil. 4.6 7. The peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Math. 7.7 8. Husbands for your Wives and Wives for your Husbands and both for your Children with the greatest reverence and the best expressions you can as to your heavenly Father who biddeth Ask and you shall have Thus may you obtain this great Blessing That Love may continue firm and constant between Husband and Wife whilest you live to your comfort and joy in Christ Jesus for ever which that it may be by Gods Blessing and shall be my daily Prayer for you all And that all Honour and Glory may be given to God the Father God the Son and God the blessed Spirit now and for ever Amen Some Divine Prayers for Husbands and Wives That God will be pleased to give them spiritual wisdom and strength in and by the Grace of Christ for the faithful performance of their mutual Duties that a blessing may be from God upon them and their Posterities for ever Drawn by the Author according to the matter and end of this Gold Chain of Directions A Morning Prayer for the Husband or wife or either of them with their Family or any other fit Person to Pray when the husband is absent
repented of And adorn we humbly pray thee Eccl. 12.7 our immortal Souls with those excellent Graces of true Christian Charity 1 Cor. 13.1 2 3 4 c. Chastity Sobriety Temperance and holy Moderation with submissive contentment unto and with thy Divine will and pleasure in every dispensation of thy Divine Providence 1 Peter 5.8 1 Thess 4.3 4. Phil. 4.5 inable us to wait upon thee in Faith Acts 21.14 Job 14.14 with patience all the Days of our appointed time until our change come It is in thy power O Lord to change Poverty into Riches Enemies to Friends Sickness into Health Death into Life Thou canst kill and make alive at thy pleasure 1 Sam. 2.7 8. Psal 63.3 4 5. O satisfie our souls with thy loving-kindness in thy Ordinances and living Graces and especially with a lively Hope of immortality by the Resurrection of Christ from the Dead 1 Pet. 1.3 4. and that Inheritance which fadeth not O cause thy love to be shed abroad in our Hearts by the holy Ghost Rom. 5.5 give us that peace of God which passeth all understanding let the Love of Christ constrain us to live henceforth not to our selves but to Him who died for us and rose again That when He shall appear at the last day Col. 3.4 we may appear with Him in Glory O most blessed God! strengthen us we pray thee with thy special Grace for the performance of our works in our particular Family-Duty according to our Places and Callings in thy fear and in love one to another Husband and Wife Eph. 6.1 2 3 4 5 6 c. Parents and Children Masters and Servants Make Lord our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants our Friends thy Friends and bless them and us in all our and their righteous Labours this day and all the dayes of our lives especially those who have desired or deserved our Prayers requite and return all their loving favours a thousand fold into their Bosome succour we most humbly pray thee all thy Children in any manner of Affliction Let the good will of him that dwelt in the Bush dwell with them Exod. 3.2 Deut. 33.16 Amos 4.12 prepare us to meet thee in whatsoever tryal thou shall prove our Faith and any other graces with and give to us and all thine a happy Deliverance out of all in thy doe time and season and preserve us all in Bodies and Souls to thy heavenly Kingdom 2 Tim. 4.18 We most humbly beg these and whatsoever thou in thy Divine Wisdome knowest to be needful for us or any of thine in the Name and for the Merits of our blessed Saviour And in that Prayer he hath taught us Our Father which art in Heaven c. An Evening Prayer for Husband and Wife and either of them with their Family or any other fit Person in the Husbands absence O Most might and powerful Lord our God who art the great Creator and high Possessor of Heaven and Earth Gen. 14.19 Gen. 17.1 the All-sufficient God and gracious Ruler of the whole World who art the Lord God glorious in holiness dreadful in Praises doing wonders Exod. 15.11 Thou art the Lord strong merciful and gracious abundant in goodness and truth forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin Exod. 34.6.7 and who wilt not hold the wicked innocent Thou even thou art to be feared and who may stand in thy sight when thou art angry Psal 76.7 yet thou art gracious to thy Children shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love thee and are careful to keep thy Commandements Thou preservest the Feet of thy Saints and hast preserved us thy unworthy servants this day 1 Sam. 2.9 O let our Prayers come before thee as Incense and the lifting up of our hands be as an Evening Sacrifice Psal 141.2 a Sacrifice of Praise and Thanksgiving for the mercies of this day thou hast kept us safe at home and abroad thou hast blessed us in our just and honest occasions and endeavors If any thing now Gen. 24.12 27. or at any time hath fallen out cross to our desires Psal 119.7 thou oh our good God didest see it good for us to be afflicted that we might be put in mind of our going wrong and our too great ingratitude of former dayes mercies But we acknowledge thy goodness thy mercies to us and thy people of old and thy glorious Name Neh. 9.5 hath been far above and beyond all our Thanksgiving and Praise yea that unspeakable Gift of thy mercy namely John 3.16 thy only begotten Son who hath made a gracious Promise that whatsoever thy servants shall ask of thee in his Name John 16.23 it shall be granted us This emboldens us blessed Father humbly to supplicate thee who art so full of compassion to pass by all our Transgressions Micah 7.18 19. and to subdue all our Iniquities and pardon all our Sins of Ignorance and Knowledge of weakness and willfulness of Omission and Commission Take away our iniquity and receive us gratiously in and for Christ and we shall render to thee the Calves of our Lips Hosea 4.2 yea not of our Lips alone but of our Hearts and of our whole Souls and Bodies a holy living and acceptable Sacrifice of Obedience in Christ Jesus Rom. 12.1 2. Thou O Lord art the Fountain Author and Giver of all Grace increase thy Graces in us we most humbly beseech thee that we may be better inabled to perform our duties to thee our God and to our Neighbours in general and one to another in our particular Callings and Relations Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband in true Conjugal love Parents to Children Exodus 20.12 Eph. 6.2 3. in for the Lord Children to Parents in due honour that the blessing of long happy life may be their portion according to thy promise Masters to Servants Eph. 6.9 as knowing they have a Master in Heaven and Servants to Masters in singleness of heart as unto Christ not with Eye-service as men-pleasers Eph. 6.5 6 7 8. but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart with good will doing service as to the Lord and not to men that of the Lord they may receive the reward of Inheritance Col. 3.24 because in doing faithful service according to God's will they serve the Lord Christ Forgive we pray thee our Enemies and bless our Friends Now thou O Lord art the Keeper of Israel who neither slumbrest nor sleepest Except thou O Lord Psal 127.1 2. keep the City the watchman waketh but in vain It is in vain to rise up early and late take rest and eat the bread of carefulness Psal 3.5 Psal 4.8 except the Lord bless our Labours Neither can we ly down and sleep and take our rest except the Lord sustain us except thou O Lord make us to dwell in safety Therefore now we
4. 1 Sam. 1.15 nor poured out our soul to God like Hannah and therefore if any discomfort or disagreement have fallen out between us we may well thank our selves that we have not had wisdome and power to do better 1 Chron. 15.13 because we have not sought them at God's hand James 4.2 3. or not in a right manner for although thou God doest freely promise Blessings to his Church yet he will be enquired of Ezek. 36.37 and pray'd unto by his Children for his Graces or any the like mercies O therefore most gracious Father I most humbly intreat thee give 〈◊〉 me and my wife truly humble and penitent and contrite hearts Mic. 6.6 Isaiah 57.15 16. for this and all our former failings and give us wisdome and strength of grace for the time to come rightly to perform our duties to thee our God and mutually one to another whilst we live that so our Marriage may be a joyful and Christian-like merry-age indeed Prov. 5.18 19 20 21. to thy glory and our comfort to the end of our lives O then give us grace I most humbly beseech thee to fly all occasions of discord or disagreement that there may never be any such breach between us thy Servants as there hath been between too many Husbands and Wives in the World Let it be far from us upon any discontent unkindly to separate one from another 1 Cor. 7.5 except it be with consent for a time that we may give our selves to fasting and prayer and come together again willingly and joyfully as we ought to do And if either of us have failed in our Choice in not following the Apostles Rule to have been careful to marry in the Lord or any other Scripture Directions to have been considered better before hand 1 Cor. 7.39 for our comfortable Communion in Marriage I most humbly beg pardon for that which is past for the Merits sake of my dear Redeemer And now O blessed Lord give us thy heavenly Grace that we may follow the Directions of thy most holy word set before us Psal 119.105 and truly and religiously seek by all good means the eternal Salvation of both our Souls that we may be happy here and hereafter O give us wisdome to cherish love and increase it in one towards and with the other And let there be no bitterness between us in word or deed give us contentedness of mind with our present Condition 1 Tim. 6.6 7 8. Keep us truly faithful to each other according to our Marriage-Covenant in obedience to thy Command and fear of thy heavenly Majesty who art present in all places and before whose all-seeing-eyes all things are open and naked that we have done or shall do all the dayes of our lives Jer. 23.23 Give us I most humbly intreat thee Heb. 4.13 Prov. 6.34 35. Cant. 8.6 wisdome and power to avoid all occasions of jealousie that our hearts may truly trust one another in the Lord Numb 5.14 that peace and happiness may be our portion all our dayes help us by thy spirits grace to pray one for another and to seek thy blessing upon our selves and for our Children which thou hast or shalt in thy goodness graciously give thy Servants Gen. 33.5 inable us to bring them up in the fear and nurture and admonition of thee O Lord that they may fear and honour thee as their heavenly Father Prov. 1.7 Prov. 10.27 and obey us as is fit in thee our Lord as their earthly Parents that a blessing may be upon us and upon them and their Posterity to many Generations If it be thy blessed will bless I pray thee our Servants and our substance which thou hast or shalt bestow upon us It is thy blessing Prov. 10.22 O Lord which maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it Be gracious I most humbly beseech thee to thy Church thorough the World Blesse these Nations and in them our most gracious King and his Royal Queen with his Royal Family and his Kingdoms with all Estates and Orders of Men in Church and in Common wealth Grant O Lord that Truth and Peace Zach. 8.19 Righteousness and Love with the Gospel of Peace may be a blessing to these Nations to Us and Ours to the end of the World if it be thy blessed will and pleasure Hear thy unworthy Servant most merciful God and grant that what I have asked according to thy Will and whatsoever else thou knowest necessary for this life or that happy life to come I most humbly beg them further in that Prayer which Christ Jesus hath taught us Our Father which art in Heaven c. A special Closet or secret Prayer for a Wife to seek the Lord for her Self and her Husband and Family that they may have grace and strength from God through Christ to perform their mutual Duties to each other live happily together and enjoy Gods blessing upon them and theirs for ever O Most loving God Isa 63.16 and my most tender Father in Jesus Christ Thou art Love and thy holy Spirit hath witnessed that he who dwelleth in Love 1 Joh. 4.16 dwelleth in thee O God and thou in him thou who didst require by thy blessed Son Jesus Mat. 5.44 That we should love our Enemies Eph. 5.25 and much more our Friends Husbands their Wives Titus 2. and Wives their Husbands and those that are near related unto them Behold 1 Sam. 1.11 I thy unworthy Hand-Maid a woman feeble in devotion 1 Pet. 3.7 the weaker Vessel who standeth in great need of thy strength and the help of thy spirit of grace Rom. 8.26 to inable me to seek thy face Psal 27.8 which I should be fearful to do but that thou hast not said to the Seed of Jacob Isa 45.19 Seek my Face in vain yea thou hast promised they that seek thee early shall find thee O let me find thee gracious Lord this day Prov. 8.17 and find help from thee in time of need Heb. 4.16 Thou in thy most wise Providence hast brought me into the Covenant-Bonds of holy Marriage with my dearly beloved Husband Mal. 2.14 15. we have taken one another for better or for worse for richer or for poorer to love and to cherish one another in sicknesse and in health and to keep us faithful to each other until death separate us I find by direction from thy word that there are many duties both proper to each and common both to Husband and Wife which by experience we may find without strength of grace from thee in thy Christ our Saviour we are not able to fulfil our very Natures are corrupt Psal 53.1 2 3. and we are subject sometimes to fretting passions provocations and vain desires 1 Sam. 1.6 Isa 32.4 yea subject to rashness and rash anger peevish discontent Act. 19.36 Pro. 21.19 Pro. 25.24 contention and frowardness
yea and many times at least too often and upon light occasions when we should be amiable kind and loving to each other 2 Tim. 3.6 Pro. 11.20 Eph. 4.31 32. with content and quietness and without thy special Grace we cannot bridle these unruly Distempers of our spirits It is in great danger 〈◊〉 12.3 we did think better of our selves and of each other in our Choice then we find by proof to have fallen out since our Marriage-union it is well if we had right grounds of our Love to each other and that it was not rather for by-respects then for the true ends of marriage namely that we might be true and meet Helpers one to another for this and a better life Gen. 2.20 O Lord I thy most humble Servant most earnestly beg pardon Isa 55.7 if either of us failed in any of these respects as I fear we did Now yet there is mercy O Lord in thy Christ to encourage us boldly to come to thy Throne of Grace And therefore now O Father let the bowels of thy mercy be moved towards us Isa 63.15 and give us those necessary Graces by which we may be inabled to walk towards thee our God and one towards an other as becomes the honourable estate of marriage I bless thy most holy Name O Lord that thou hast kept and preserved thy Servant and I am well assured my dear Husband from those dreadful Vices which do so highly dishonour this honourable estate Gen. 20.6 In whatsoever we have failed give pardon unto us I most humbly intreat thee O Father in Christ our blessed Advocate 1 Joh. 2.1 2. and heal our Natures that we may henceforth truly evidence our sincere love one to another and keep I beseech thee that rash impatient unadvised immoderate anger nor any other distemper may prove a root of bitterness sprung up between us Eph. 4.26 Let not the Sun go down upon any such wrath but that we may sleep quietly and lovingly together And preserve me I beseech thee with thy Grace that I may not by any unadvised words or deeds provoke my Husband to do that which may prove sorrow discomfort and disprofit to us both But give me wisdome at all times when any thing is said 1 Sam. 25.25 26 27 to 38. done or doing contrary to the Rules of Love between Husband and Wife that I may endeavour by all fair means in love and by sweet allurements or perswasions to prevent any evil or further him in any good work whatsoever And I beseech thee my God make me wise as Abigail to know how and when to speak to him for thy Glory and the mutual good of us and all ours enable me to give him that reverence and honour which is due to him Eph. 5.33 as my Lord and Husband and give to him that gracious affection towards me that he may give me that loving respect and honour which is due to me as the weaker Vessel 1 Pet. 3.7 that he may dwell with me as a man of knowledge and we may live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life that our Prayers be not hindred Give him O Lord wisdome with thy blessing and a faithful provident endeavour to provide for his own Rom 12.17 for them of his own house as a Husband and a Christian ought to do 1 Tim. 5.8 And grant to me wisdome and grace to look well to the wayes of my Houshold that I may do my Husband good and not hurt all the dayes of my life Prov. 31.12 27. Bless O Lord the Children and the Family which thou hast or shalt of thy goodness bestow upon us Let our Children be as perpetual Pledges of Love between us make them thy Children I most humbly pray thee Lord inable us with care and conscience to be provident for the pious and virtuous Education of our Children Prov. 31.28 according to our Estate and Callings that they may rise up and call us blessed I beseech thee blesse our Estate that we may provide for them a comfortable Living in some honourable or honest Callings while we live and when thou shalt take us from them take them for thy Children and give them in thy due time that Inheritance in which they shall be blessed and happy for ever And put thy holy fear into the Hearts of our Servants that they may first serve thee faithfully and then they will serve us honestly and justly all the time of their habitation with us Be gracious to thy beloved Children all over the Earth Isa 63.9 comfort the afflicted Members of Jesus Christ wheresoever or howsoever distressed amidst the Kingdomes of the World Isa 12.13 exalt the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Bless our most gracious King the Queens Majesty the Royal Family with all the Estates and Orders of Men in Church and Common-wealth preserve the Gospel of Peace Eph. 6.15 and the Peace of the Gospel in these Nations until Christ come to Judgment if it be thy blessed will Remember in mercy all our Relations and especially all such who ever have desired or deserved our Prayers Prepare us all for Eternity for Christ's sake in whose name I thy unworthy Mandmaid beg these and all needful Mercies in that Prayer which our blessed Saviour gave his Disciples Our Father which art in Heaven c. BEloved if any Man or Womans Devotion be so strict as to think these Prayers too long let them search if any thing be begged of God which neither they nor any they ought to pray for want they may pass over that Petition And if there want any Petition for any particular thing not prayed for they may add that Petition if they please according to their present occasions The Lord hear and give a blessing All glory be to God the Father Son and Holy Ghost now and for ever Amen So prayers your Servant in Christ Immanuel Bourne FINIS
come unto thee O heavenly Father most humbly beseeching thee to embrace us in the everlasting Armes of thy Mercy Deut. 33.27 and to take us with all ours and all thine into thy holy Protection this Night Give us that comfortable sleep and quiet rest in our Beds Psalm 4.8 that we being refreshed by thy goodness may be better inabled to do thee faithful service in our several Places Vocations and Callings if it please thee to continue and preserve our Lives and Healths the next day to our comforts and the glory of thy Name O our most blessed God we beseech thee preserve with us thy Catholick Church all over the World especially that part of thy Church in these Nations Keep from all dangers we humble pray thee our most gracious King Ezra 6.10 give him a long life to thy glory Blesse his Royal Queen and the whole Royal Family and preserve we beseech thee all the honourable Nobility the Reverend and faithful Ministery in their several places the righteous Judges and Magistrates with all the Gentry and Commons of the Land Give all Wisdome and Power to honour thy Majesty in their Places and Orders in which thou hast set them to do thee service Bless we pray thee the several Cities Towns and Countries in the Kingdome keep them and us out of the hand of all our Enemies That under his Sacred Majesty we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godlinesse and honesty 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Be gracious unto all thy Faithful Servants under any manner of affliction by Sea or by Land at Liberty or in Restraint in Poverty or in Riches in Sickness or in Health especially any that are known to us or who have desired our Prayers Eph. 6 18 19. sanctifie thy afflicting Hand unto them that they may receive the peaceable fruit of Righteousnesse when they are sufficiently exercised thereby Heb. 12.11 and in every temptation strengthen them to bear 1 Cor. 10.13 and in due time make a way for them to escape Prepare us all for those eternal Habitations those blessed Mansions which Christ our Saviour hath prepared for us in Heaven John 14.12 Grant O Lord of glory Eph. 1.17 that we may be so prepared like wise Virgins Mat. 25.1 2 c. with Oyl in our Lamps that whensoever the Lord Jesus our heavenly Bride-Groom with his glorious Angels shall come to Judgment at Midnight Mat. 25.6 at Cock-Crowing or in the Dawning we may be admitted to enter in with him in to that blessed heavenly Kingdome of eternal happiness Thus by Prayer and Supplication with Thanksgiving we have made our Request known unto thee our heavenly and most gratious Father O let the peace of God Phil. 4.6 7. which passeth all understanding keep our Hearts and Minds in the knowledge and love of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ To whom with thy heavenly Majesty and thy blessed Spirit be ascribed all Glory and Honour Might Soveraignty and Dominion Victory and Salvation this night and for evermore Amen Prov. 19.14 House and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Therefore I desire the Husband that he will pray to the Lord to bestow amongst other Graces this Grace of heavenly prudence upon his wife and increase it in them both that they may be happy Again I desire that both Husband and Wife will be careful to remember and practice by the Grace of Christ that Counsel of that great Apostle St. Peter 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives according to knowledge giving honour to the Wife as unto the weaker Vessel and as being Heirs together of the grace of Life that your prayers be not hindred Your mutual prayers one for another for a virtuous wife will be a Helper to her Husband Gen. 2.18 and will do him good by her prayers as well as otherwise and not evil all the days of her life as wise King Solomon witnesseth Pro. 31.12 A special Closet or secret Prayer of a Husband for himself and his Wife and Children and Family that God will be pleased to inable them to perform their mutual Duties to each other in the fear of God and by God's blessing live lovingly together during their lives to be prayed together or asunder O Most blessed and gracious good God 1 Tim. 1.11 my most merciful and loving Father in Christ Jesus 1 Tim. 6.14 15 16. Gen. 1.1 2. who in thy appointed time didst make the Heaven and Earth Psal 136.5 6. and Creatures in the World and in a special manner create our first Parents Adam and Eve after thy own likeness in Righteousness and true Holiness Gen. 1.27 and in the time of their innocency didst Marry them together Gen. 2.20 21 22 23 24. and institute the holy estate of Marriage which is a mystical representation of that spiritual Marriage and Union between Christ and his Church Hosea 2.19 20. Eph. 5.32 thou O our heavenly Father in thy Divine Wisdom and gracious Providence hast been pleased to bring me thy unworthy servant and my beloved wife into this high and honourable estate I confess O Lord I am now fully enformed that there are many duties required by thy holy Word incumbent upon me at a Husband John 15. â— and upon her as a Wife which by our own strength we are not able to performe as we ought 2 Cor. 3.5 that thy Divine Majesty might have the glory and we thy unworthy servants may have the joy and comfort in our married estate and although we are taught out of thy Word that in Christ our blessed Saviour there is both Wisdom and strength and grace Col. 2.3 Phil. 4.13 to be communicated to thy servants for the performance of every duty in any condition and that Christ our Redeemer hath promised That if we seek we shall find if we knock it shall be opened unto us James 1.5 6. James 5.16 John 16.23 If we pray with Faith and Fervency and in his Name our Petitions shall be granted Yet I thy humble servant confess for my part that I have not knocked at Heaven doors for wisdom and strength for myself and my wife that we might be inabled rightly and in the fear of God and in true love to perform our mutual duties to each other as becometh thy Children And I fear my dear wife hath failed in like manner Isaiah 63.15 16. Isaiah 64.5 6 7 8 9 10. at least that we have not sought this grace of thee O heavenly Father with that sight and sence of our own weakness And of that need of this wisdome and power and so not with that earnestness or with those fervent groans and sighs Rom. 8.26 27. or tears in our prayers nor with that wrastling like Jacob with God in Christ for this mercy as we should have done Gen. 32.24 25 26. Hosea 12.3