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A08179 A discourse, of marriage and vviuing and of the greatest mystery therein contained: how to choose a good wife from a bad. An argument of the dearest vse, but the deepest cunning that man may erre in: which is, to cut by a thrid betweene the greatest good or euill in the world. Pertinent to both sexes, and conditions, as well those already gone before, as shortly to enter this honest society. By Alex. Niccholes, Batchelour in the art he neuer yet put in practise. Niccholes, Alexander. 1615 (1615) STC 18514; ESTC S113190 36,315 64

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vexation to his sorrow for Consortium est Solatium Company is comfortable though neuer so small and Adam tooke no little ioy in this his single companion being thereby fréed from that solitude and silence which his lonenesse would else haue bene subiect vnto had there beene no other end nor vse in her more then this her bare presence and society alone But besides all this the earth is large and must be peopled and therefore they are now the Crowne of his Workemanship the last and best and perfectest peece of his handiworke diuided into Genders as the rest of His creatures are Male and Female fit and enabled Procreare sibi similem to bring forth their like to accomplish his will who thus blessed their fruitfulnesse in the Bud Increase multiply and replenish the earth Well might S. Paul say obseruing this Marriage is honorable amongst al men the bed vndefiled since God himselfe was the Author and Institutor thereof euen in Paradice who gaue the woman in the in before in his sleepe Adam lost a Rib but now 〈…〉 Reperit Costam he hath his Rib againe with 〈…〉 encrease branched into many Veines and Ribs and 〈◊〉 and Arteries of wonderfull vse and admirabl● 〈◊〉 So the creation of woman as it was for man 〈…〉 out of man Adam was made of the same of the earth and were it not to make woman proud I would 〈…〉 was of that better substance of that well husbanded workeman-ship and refined matter refined and 〈◊〉 by the touch of his hands in moulding to so exc●llent a proportion as man of a bone taken out of his side which that side euer wanteth since as Anatomists obserue to make him the more plyable towards her not of a bone of his foote that she should be so low or contemptible or of his head so high or ambitious but of his side a middle part that shee might bee of a middle condition his fellow and companion not his seruant or slaue for Socij sunt qui iunguntur lateribus they are fellowes that walke side by side of a bone neare to his heart to put him in minde of dilection and loue from vnder his arme of protection and defence c. Now the Author of this creation we finde here to be the Author of this Mystery He who made the woman of the man gaue her to the man euen God himselfe who as Cassianus saith further in the very prime and beginning of the world Dedit this Vnam Vni gaue this one woman to one man and no more then one although for the increase and peopling of all the yet vnhabited Regions and Kingdomes of the earth In which no doubt the Diuine Wisedome had a respect to the loue not to the lust of man aiming hereby to aduance the one and suppresse the other for where loue is diuided there it is weakned can neuer be strong and as we see by experience he who loues many formally neuer loues any feruently for vnity is loues number cannot transcend and God would haue an entire affection betweene the husband and the wife which he himselfe in person thus vouchsafed to honor by coniunction that as the●e bodies were then not two so their desires should be but one and withall to insinuate by this his proper institution the more respect and reuerence to that holy ordination which had so high a beginning and so holy an end honoured by his Person by his Prophets by his Miracles and which should so generally be exercised throughout all estates and conditions ages and times to the end of the world and decistency of all things which by this meanes ere that eternall dissolution should runne a long and continued race in despight of graue and death CHAP. II. Of the execellency of Marriage with the consequence and vse thereof THE excellency thereof doth the more manifest it selfe in this in that it was an addition of beatitude and blessednesse to that happy and absolute estate that Adam had in his first creation and innocency that it was so pretious flower that it would not thriue but in so pure a soyle that God himselfe was the Authour to institute it and the Priest to celebrate it ere euer sinne and impurity had tainted the earth or blemished the Angelicall beauty of either the Bride or Bridegroome and though the consequence in that place brought sorrow and death yet hath it a relation to as full nay more ample ioy and life in the extent and determination thereof then it could otherwise haue had in that first perseuerance and fruiton from which though now by sinne our best faculties priuiledges and prerogatiues in all kinds are so clowded eclypsed and fallen away that wee discerne not aright the excellencies true vses and ends of so Diuine a Mystery in it selfe notwithstanding we do yet in this twylight perceiue such glimpses and sparkles of originall purity and felicity vnextinguished therein that we are wedded by our owne wils and induced by so naturall a coaction to the embracement thereof for the mutuall society and comfort of life without which it could neither subsist nor continue more then to any other duty or action therein commanded or required whatsoeuer From the excellency of the institution come wee to the excellency of the true vse the danger of the contrary and therefore the deepe regard to be had before hand as in the enterprise it selfe being of such weighty moment and import of which one thus further displaying it writeth Marriage of all the humane actions of a mans life is one of the greatest weight and consequence as thereon depending the future good or euill of a mans whole after-time and dayes that Gordian knot once fastened not to be vnloosed but by death the meanes either to exalt an high to preferment or cast downe headlong to destruction and the present disposer of a mans whole estate and fortune to his greatest ioy or mysery and therefore with his tale pondus as before not be danced into lightly or vnaduisedly with the first that comes to hand as a blind man layes his hold but soberly entered vpon with mature aduise yeares and deliberation consent and counsell of Parents and Friends For it is in this action as in a Stratageme of warre Wherein he that erres can erre but once perisheth vnrecouerably to all after aduice and reliefe And therefore that merry prouerbe is not amisse that thus implyeth That in Wiuing and Thriuing a man should aske counsell of all the world it being a matter of such difficulty doubt and danger to bee resolued in such a continuall storme and tempest to those that lanch not forth in a prosperous gale hauing peruerted their felicity therein by running from the rule of God in their choyce that with Ionas such to be deliuered were better be cast aliue into the Sea to the belly of the Whale and mercy of the mercilesse bottomlesse deepe though with him they neuer came to shoare againe then indure such a perpetuall
the best meanes and endeuour as well for the safety of his soule as the preseruation of his body not knowing the euent of their concealed ends and so at once by that meanes was happily cured both in minde and body In no lesse palpable errour are those that so wittingly and violently are carried on either side in this dangerous streame of a corrupted iudgement to the apparantest spectacle and certaintest shame that woman may do them making that vnquestionable their dishonour by this consequence which a sober course might haue directed to a more certaine end Therefore who euer thou art that wouldst not winke at such a shame that so profite doth succéed wouldst not regard whether hand brought it in vse a good indeuour such foresight and warinesse as may prouide for competency preuent indigence and want two great allayers of affection and a maine inciter of impatient bearers to this folly and abuse and aboue all séek to plant in her Religion for so shee cannot loue God but withall shee must honour thee increase her knowledge in good things and giue her certaine assurance and testimony of thy loue that she may with hers againe the more reciprocally equall thy affection For true loue hath no power to thinke much lesse act amisse And these discreetely put in practise shall more preserue at all times and temptations then Spies or Eyes Iealousie or any restraint for these sometimes may bee deluded or ouer watched or preuented by oportunity but this neuer CHAP. XII The patterne of a bad husband and a good wife in two Letters instanced 1 LETTER FAIRE Mistresse what so long I haue expected And till this oportunity neglected Is now so happened as it would inuite Mee to enioy my absolute delight Your husband absent and your seruants gone And you but with your Maide left all alone Where least sad Care or Melancholy grieue you My best endeuour's ready to releiue you What Female Comfort can one woman finde Within the bed with other woman-kinde What tedious gate the yrksome howers do keepe When there 's no ioy to wake no minde to sleepe Besides the fearefull terrours of the night Which women and weake minds do much affright All which faire loue if you 'le be rul'd by mee Wee will conuert so farre from what they bee That those which now are bitter for to thinke Shall taste like Nectar that the Gods do drinke The strangest Monster that was euer bred That Seas haue nourisht or else Desart fed Transported from his solitary den A common obiect to the sight of men Looseth his admiration and delight In little time and pleaseth not our sight Our Appetite the Viand nere so good Cloyd with one Dish will soone distast her Food That Musick of all other best wee deeme If euer in one Key we harsh esteeme Mans nature doth desire to heare and try Thinges that are new to tast variety And I of Woemen this opinion hold They are not much in loue with things are old Which makes mee thus more boldly to discouer My selfe vnto you your new friend and louer In hope to be accepted for whose pleasure I 'le spend my best life and my deerest treasure Obiect not you already are inioy'd VVith Venus pleasures dul'd and ouercloid VVhy ioyfull Widdowes when their husbands die Might this obiect but yet you see they try Because they thinke variety of men May make old pleasures new delights agen Shee that contents her selfe with any one For many nights as well might lie alone Lesse difference is not twixt the virgine life And state of pleasure being cald to wife Then is betweene the Elizeum of one Bed That crosly fated to that 's largely-sped I haue a wife my selfe I tell you true Yet in the old kind seeke for pleasures new Taking not now delight that I haue tooke To shake the Tree that I so oft haue shooke VVee see in any Country that we dwell The Aire the Earth nay All that others tell Yet notwithstanding 't is our commonst fashions To seeke out other Kingdomes other Nations Each woman doth abridge all woman-kinde But yet one woman fits not each mans minde Nor euery man experience too too common Can fit can please or satisfie each woman Since then the Sence the Appetite and minde In fresh variety all pleasure finde Let vs then meete all nice respects to smother And fully satisfie and ioy each other So shall I rest by your obligement due A secret friend and faithfull seruant true The world can iudge no further then it spies And where we act shall be from sight of eyes Windowes nor wals can neither heare nor see And for the bed 't is tride for secresy Then seeme but chaste which is the chiefest part For what wee seeme each sees none knowes the heart And so your husband and the world will deeme You to be that you are not but do seeme Your husband hee 's abroad where I 'me affray'd He hath deserued to be so appay'd My Chaine heere take you weare it for my sake And as you finde me yours account so make And here 's my Ring in earnest of a friend The latest Token that my Wife did send And here 's my Purse within it store of Gold Able to batter downe the strongest Hold Your dainty lymbes shall be more neatly clad In costlier Rayment then they erst haue had And for your stomacke it shall not disgest Any thing but the rarest and the best These daily from me with a pleasing cheare Which husbands grutch to part with once a yeare Though for their maintenance I sell my land Disherite heyres for that I will not stand So you be mine in that sence I conceiue you Which till your answere manifest I leaue you HER REPLY ABused sir much grieu'd am I to see That you so long haue tarried Time and Mee And now when both your good seeme to conspire They should in no sort answere your desire My husbands absence seemeth to import In your conceite some hope to scale his fort But know by that you small aduantage finde For he is alwaies present in my minde The thought of whom what ere his person bee Is able to repulse your battery And for the howres that you so tedious deeme That by your presence would so shortned seeme I cannot tell with others what 't might do With me 't would rather make one houre seeme two And for the fearefull terrours of the night What could affright me worse then would your sight My Maid and I a pleasure not repented Will tell old Stories long ago euented To passe the time or when such watch we keepe Wee 'le thinke good thoughts or pray vntill we sleepe For know my vntainted minde did euer hate To buy damnation at so deere a rate To tast sweete Nectar for a day or howre And euer after to digest the sowre 'T is not variety I seeke or craue My whole delight is in the one I haue And she that 's not contented
vexation it is the harbenger vnto with such a Leuiathan of the Land as is a furious woman for as a vertuous woman is a hauen of beauty so a wicked woman is a sea of euils and in her tyde more full then that element of monsters worse far to liue with then a smoaky house for that for the most part offends onely the eyes in the head but this all the sences in the body Nay he that hath such a Familiar hath a worse neighbour of his owne then Horsam should haue had if her fabulous Dragon had beene true Yet though in the curse it be subiect to these euils blesse it in the true vse and it is of all humane comforts the greatest for if the mutuall society betweene friend and friend be so great that in affliction it administreth comfort and in ioy it heapeth the measure to the brime by detracting from the sowre and adding to the sweete by a sensible participation of eithers quality how much more then shall it be enlarged by such a friend which is to vs a second selfe or Treasurer of our owne thoughts and therefore more neerely interressed in either the one or the other Besides this in thy Marriage the very name whereof should portend vnto theee Merry-age thou not onely vnitest vnto thy selfe a friend and comfort for society but also a companion for pleasure and in some sort a seruant for profite too for a wife is all these Besides by the excellency and blessing of this institution thou continuest thy name thy likenesse and thy Generation walkes vpon earth and so liuest in thy similitude in despight of death when thou thy selfe art dead and raked vp in dust and otherwise without remembrance vnlesse by some ruinous stone or ragged Epitaph and so in some sort makest thy body immortall like thy soule and not onely by this dost thou adde to the Sons of the earth but to the Saints of heauen Besides by this so excellent so honourably accounted of amongst all men are thy wilde and vnbrideled affections reduced to humanity and ciuility to mercy and clemency and thou thy selfe called backe to looke into thy selfe and to vnderstand the substance and truth of things and therefore he that hath no wife is said to be a man vnbuilt that wanteth one of his ribbes a sleepe as Adam was till his wife was made for marriage awaketh the vnderstanding as out of a dreame and he that hath no wife is said to be a man in the midst of the sea perishing for want of this ship to waft him to shore Is said to be parched in the heate of the Sunne that hath not this Vine to rest him vnder her shadow If sickenesse come it brings thee a Physition if health continue it is partly a preseruer But to go further to equall it with the best commended Virginity where is the man this day liuing whose Virginity may be compared with Abrahams Mariage in whom all the Nations of the earth were blessed S. Austin opposeth it to the Virginity of S. Iohn But the greatest authority we haue in praise of Marriage is the vnion of Christ with his Church compared vnto it The Bond whereof is the holy Ghost the contract the Gospell the Apostles the Registers all married men except S. Iohn and S. Paul And Iesus Christ sealed it with his Bloud the betrothing whereof is heere below in the Church but the wedding it selfe shall be solemnized in heauen It is likewise the originall of all paires of all couples Primum par fundamentum parium saith one father and childe maister and seruant husband and wife all grow out of this first vnion and coniunction all kindred and affinity in the world take their birth from this roote without which men would liue dispearsed like sauage beasts and irrationall creatures without distinction or separation of Tribe or family which are the first parts of a Common-wealth CHAP. III. Worldly choyce what it is or how for the most part men choose their wiues IT is a fashion much in vse in these times to choose wiues as Chapmen sell their wares with Quantum dabitis what is the most you will giue and if their parents or guardians shall reply there vertues are their portions and others haue they none let them be as dutifull as Sara as vertuous as Anna as obedient as the Virgine Mary these to the wise man euery one a rich portion and more pretious then the gold of Ophire shall be nothing valued or make vp where wealth is wanting these may be adiuncts or good additions but money must be the principall of all that marry and that scope is large there are but few that vndergoe it for the right end and vse whereby it comes to passe that many attaine not to the blessednesse therein Some vndergoe this curse in steed of blessing meerely for lust chusing their wiues most vnfitly as Adulteresses and such are said to marry by the eye looking no further then a carnall beauty is distinguished which consists in the outward shape and lyneaments of the body as in gate gesture countenance behauiour c. And for such a one so she be faire and can kisse she hath portion enough for such a Pirate but when this flower withers as it is of no continuance for diseases blast it age deuoures it discontent doth wither it onely vertue is not foyled by these aduersaries what shall continue loue as then to the end there Winter sure shall be full of want full of discontent that thus grashopper-like respected their Summer There are others that marry to ioyne wealth to wealth and those are said to marry by the fingers ends Some others there are that take their wiues from the report or good liking of others and those are said to take their wiues vpon trust and such I hope are not seldome deceiued in their venture There are some that marry for continuance of posterity and those come neerest to the true intent for the end of marriage is proles issue It was the primall blessing Increase and multiply God hath giuen and bequeathed many Precepts and Commandements to mankind yet of all that euer he deliuered neuer was there any better obserued for the letter then this Nay the most part are so ready to accomplish his Will herein that for hast many times they ouerslip the true circumstances thereof doing it Propter intentionem praeter viam for God requires Liberi not Spurij children not bastards and those that thus increase it do it more for the manner then the end more for lust then for loue CHAP. IIII. How to choose a good wife from a bad THis vndertaking is a matter of some difficulty for good wiues are many times so like vnto bad that they are hardly discerned betwixt they could not otherwise deceiue so many as they do for the deuill can transforme himselfe into an Angell of Light the better to draw others into the chaines of darkenesse so these his creatures
themselues into the shape of honesty the better to intangle others in the bonds of repentance If therefore the yoke of marriage be of such perpetuity and lasting euen Vsque ad naecem and the ioyes or grieuance thereon depending of equall continuance therwith either to make a short heauen or hell in this world is not therefore to bee vndergone but vpon the duest regard most aduised consideration that may be and because it is such a sea wherein so many shipwracke for want of better knowledge and aduise vpon a Rock that tooke not better counsell in the hauen I haue therefore in some sort to preuent this danger erected as it were certaine Land-markes and directions in the way to giue aime to such passengers as shall héereafter expose themselues to the mercy of this fury and the rather because our age is so aduenturous whether boldnes or blindnes be their guid the meere childrē dare vndertake with vessels scarce capable to hoyse vp sayle aduēture those passages the former tunes in their nonage nere president vs in the like would haue thought scarce nauigable but many times this calme that leads them forth in a sun-shine with pleasure brings them home in a tempest with sorrow and therefore as I said hee that would not repent him afterwards let him be aduised before for wise fore-sight for the most part is crowned with happy successe therefore say not hereafter for it is a weake remedy Vtinam saperem would God I had bene better aduised but be so The first aime that I would giue to him that would aduenture this voyage for marriage is an aduenture for whosoeuer marries aduentures hee aduentures his peace his freedome his liberty his body yea and sometimes his soule too is that in his election after hee hath made choice of his wife which euer I would haue grounded vpon some of these promising likely-hoods vid. that she be of a sober and milde aspect courteous behauiour decent carriage of a fixed eye constant looke and vnaffected gate the contrary being oftentimes signes of ill portent and consequence for as the common saying is an honest woman dwels at the signe of an honest countenance and wilde lookes for the most part accompany wilde conditions a rowling eye is not fixed but would fixe vpon obiects it likes it lookes for and affected nicety is euer a signe of lasciuious petulancy Next regard according as thine estate and condition shall best instruct thee the education and quality of her thou hast so elected her personage not being vnrespected for loue lookes sometimes as well with the eye of the body as with the minde and beauty in some begets affection and affection augmenteth loue whereas the contrary would decrease and diminish it and so bring thee to a ●eath●d bed which must be vtterly taken heed of for the dangerous consequences that follow therefore let thy wisedome so gouerne thine affection that as it ceize not vp deformity to thine owne proper vse for some sinister respect to be shortly after repented of so likewise for the meane is euer best that it leuell not at so high and absolute indowment and perfection that euery carnall eye shall bethinke thee iniury that euery Gotish disposition shall leuell to throw open thy inclosures that thy wife shall bee harder to be kept then the Garden of the Hesperides for as the Italian prouerbe is Whose horse is white and wife is faire His head is neuer voide of care Next after thou hast thus elected thy choyse and considered her in her selfe with the aforesaid circumstances this one more not being of his minde that merrily said speaking of his wife since he was to make choice out of things that were euill he thought it most wisedome to choose the least to regard that shee be not of too dwarfish a size and kindred to store thee with a generation of Pigmies dwarfes halfe men that want the Maiesty and power of heigth and strength and the comlinesse a good stature is for the most part wedded vnto After this a little looke backe to the stocke from whence she sprung for as Ezekiell saith Like mother like daughter and experience and nature approues it that the fruite will relish of the Tree from whence it sprung as the Rose is not gathered from the Hauthorne and as his Maiesty well obserued if men be so carefull to haue their horses and dogs of a good bréed and race which are onely for externall and superficiall vses and pleasures how much more should they then wiues of their owne bosomes from whom they expect to raise and continue their owne generations and posterities vpon earth to represent and preserue aliue their owne image and virtues behind them from generation to generation vsque ad longuinqum c. CHAP. V. What yeares are most conuenient for mariage THe forward Virgins of our age are of opi on that this commodity can neuer be taken vp too soone and therefore howsoeuer they neglect in other things they are sure to catch time by the fore-locke in this if you aske them this question they will resolue you fouretéene is the best time of their age if thirteene bee not better then that and they haue for the most the example of their mothers before them to confirme and approue their ability and this withall they holde for a certaine ground that be they neuer so little they are sure thereby to become no lesse the effects that for the most part insue thereafter are dangerous births diminution of stature breuity of life and such like yet all these paines will they aduenture for this pleasure Now as these will not stay till their youth but marry in their childe-hood before either bloud or affection rypen them thereto by their earely forwardnesse so are their others that as much offend in the contrary by passing ouer their youth for certaine cautionary worldly respects to salute this society with their age like to him that hath suffered his house to burne downe to the bottome before hee would séeke to extinguish the flame when the other as néedlesly forward as he foolishly slow throwes on water ere any fire come néere it the extremity in both is vtterly distastfull and as I haue already shewed briefly the indiscretion in either so I might thus continue it further along in the first that such should take vpon them to gouerne others that which as may well appeare in this know not yet how to gouerne themselues the latter that they vtterly abandon the right vse of marriage for if the chiefe end thereof be propagation and encrease both for the Kingdome of earth and heauen why then do they deferre so long till their bloud be frosty and their bones be empty their lamps bée wasted and their spirits consumed hiding in the earth their talents from vse which might haue béene otherwise multiplyed by a lawfull vsury to a happy encrease and excellent end and therefore worthy such of their iust reward which
this breach is impatience of restraint and limitation for that which is most forbidden is most desired Hee is the old deuill that still tempts in that likenesse that came to Eue in Paradise and perswaded her to eate the forbidden fruite of the Tree of knowledge of good and euill vpon whom he obtained such a victory and conquest in that first battell that euer was fought that neuer since hath he distrusted the force of that stratageme Euery woman is an abridgement of all woman-kind containes the shape the proportion the lyniaments the members the vse of all the women in the world and likewise so of man why should not desire then being so linked in the most sufficient and wisest allowance that God and man thought meete couch and submit it selfe to these ordinances but that concupiscence and lust inkindle desire and it findeth not delight in that it hath but in that it would haue according as the Poet verifyeth Lust nere takes delight in what is due But still leaues knowne delights to seeke out new It lookes out of the window where fuell is administred where temptation entreth in edgeth it selfe vpon one for respects that it can conceiue but not vtter vpon an other for some thing it likes but knowes not what It makes choyce of a third for modesty baites his lust in that flame to thinke with what lookes it could looke in conclusion that is so fiered with blushes in but proffered concerning circumstances though farre distant and remote from either time or action Vpon a fourth for her quaint conceite and discouers by debating how she could vse it being put to her non plus in the bare point of tryall with the beauty of a fift to conceiue what a large fruition it were to be inflamed on the promontory of the Hill when the demeanes and adiacent Vallies to that fuller surfet restrained not their shades nor fountaines And indeed to conclude there is none so ugly none so deformed but Lust will finde argument to make vse of it may it but haue meanes to enioy it CHAP. VIII Aduice for choice and whether it be best to marry a Widdow or a Maide HEe that marryeth a Widdow hath but a reuersion in taile and if she proue good may thanke death for his aime if euill vpbraide him and not vniustly for his occasion He that takes her thus halfe-worne makes account shee hath that will pay for new dressing shee seemes to promise security in her peace yet inuites many times to a troublesome estate when the conquest atchieued scarce counteruailes the warres the principall of her loue is perished with the vse for what is once firmely set on can neuer be cleanly taken off and he must nere looke to bee enriched that way that hath her The end of her Marriage is lust and ease more then affection or loue and deserue what thou canst the dead shall vpbraide thee by the helpe of her tongue flattered behind his backe the more to vexe thee to thy face The best is though the worse for thee they are nauigable without difficulty more passable then Virginia and lye at an easier Rode as vnsatiate as the sea or rather the graue which many times the sooner presents them thether At the decease of their first husbands they learne commonly the trickes to turne ouer the second or third and they are in league with death and coadiutors with him for they can harden their owne hearts like iron to breake others that are but earth and I like them the worse that they will marry dislike them vtterly they marry so soone for shee that so soone forgets the flower and Bride-groome of her youth her first loue and prime of affection which like a colour layed on in Oyle or dyed in graine should cleaue fast and weare long will hardly thinke of a second in the neglect and decay of her age Many presidents wee haue against these suddaine nay against these second Marriages deriued from former times the ages of more constancy and shame of these latter The daughter of M. Cato bewayling a long time the death of her husband being asked which day should haue her last teare answered the day of her death not the end of a month or yeare for saith shée should I méete with a good husband as I had before I should euer bée in feare to loose him if with a bad one I were better be without him In like manner Portia a yong and honourable Lady hauing lost her husband answered solicited by another A happy and chaste Matrone neuer marries but once Valeria hauing lost her husband importuned by another answered My husband euer liues in my thoughts Arthemesia the wife of Mausoll King of Corinth could not not bée brought to any such action but still answered being mindefull of her husband deceased Vpon thy pillow shall neuer second rest his head Shée dyed a widdow and in memory of her husband erected that Monument or Tombe the cost and fame whereof hath ouerspread the world which Wife and Monument Lucinius thus further commendeth Rex dudum erat c. There was a King of whom it may be read In ancient Stories sepulchred ere dead More wrong you 'le say they did him to depriue Him of his Kingdome thus he being aliue 〈…〉 No he had all his rights more then Kings haue That rul'd a Kingdome and raign'd in his graue A Kingdome nay a little world and more A great world and respected as before Nay euen a Regiment that hath disturb'd The ablest health and pollicy to curb A womans heart and minde and which more strange Free from variety of thought or change So willingly subiected to his bloud Ne're to depose him whilst her Empire stood Of whom all loues and Lawes did firme remaine In force till one stone did enclose them twaine Of whom it may be said now shee is gone Ther 's few such Toombes erected women none Such a Widdow couldst thou marry shée were worthy thy choyce but such a one shee could not bee because shee would not then marry Compare the loyalty of our times with those of more ancient and sée how they equall thy conscience and carkase breaking how with thy piled vp chestes they build monuments of remembrances to thy name and memory after death nay rather obserue but how their ambition thus heated makes them forgetfull of themselues as well as thee Knowing this who would not with these distraughted times to leaue the purchase of a Ladiship to his wife glide like a shadow in his life vpon earth with a shrinking inside and penurious out-side and sléepe with broken thoughts and distracted dreames to gather with paine and forbeare with want that which his liuing enemy may afterwards spend with pleasure and surfet with fulnesse Who can loue those liuing that he knowes will so soone forget him being dead that are but Summer Swallowes for the time of felicity that will hang about ones necke as if they had neuer armes for
with her lot I hold more monster then the Sea hath got The friendship which you proffer me preserue For those that will your kindnesse more deserue The obiection here you alledge is fondly strange That woemen though old cloathes they loue to change And fancies to in something doth't inferre That in this grosse point they must therefore erre I am anothers parcell I confesse And you by your acknowledgement no lesse Now what a sinne were this vnworthy life I so to wrong my husband you your wife My husband that dare sweare that I am iust Should I so much deceiue his honest trust Your wife although a party I not know I hope imagines likewise of you so For shame go then repent and be not naught Be worth her good opinion honest thought Let fleshly widdowes when their husbands die They nere did loue seeke new variety For me I vow if death depriue my bed I neuer after will to Church be led A second Bride nor neuer that thought haue To adde more weight vnto my husbands graue In second husband let mee bee accurst None weds the second but who kils the first You haue a wife you write giue her your loue And that will all your wandring thoughts remoue You loue her not by these effects I see For where loue is there 's no satiety Can you so farre forget humanity As hauing shak't the fruite dispise the Tree It is not loue but lust that thus abuses To make it weary of the walkes it vses Coelum non Animum c. Those that to forraine Countries do repaire Change not their minds although they change the Aire Preferring still through nouelty desire Their Countries smoake before anothers fire Like vse obserue vnto your selfe to take From the obiection that you seeme to make That though you see of beauteous women many And you by choyce possesse the mean'st of any More to respect her you your wife haue made Then others sunshine to your proper shade Suppresse that lust that soule and body wounds For where it once breakes ore it hath no bounds One woman doth abridge all womankind The volume then at large why would you finde For sure I thinke where that doth beare no prize The Booke at large might weary not suffice An other Argument to backe your sute You alledge that walles and windowes will be mute And that the world hath no such peircing eie The secret of the darke to search and trie As if there were not one whose power impartes To see through Dores Windowes through Hearts From whose bright eye no secresy can hide That which is guilty and would not be spide Then what auailes to haue the world aquite vs When our Conscience like a fiend shall fright vs. And for the Bed although it cannot tell Yet out their shame will breake that do not well My husband he 's from home I must confesse Whose actes you measure by your guiltinesse But where so ere he be well may he speed Ere any such thought from my heart proceed Admit hee were in euill so compact Would I reuenge the wrong by such an act If that I should were 't not a helpelesse part To kill my soule because he brake my heart Your Chaine of Gold here backe againe I send I l'e no Earnest sure of such a Friend And there 's your Ring full little doth she know That sent in loue that you would vse it so And there 's your Purse and all the Gold therein The 're Wicked Angels that would tempt to sin My Fort is more impregnable then they That much perswade although they little say As for my bodies homely cloathing weed It keepes me warme sufficeth natures need Which scarce more costlier do and for my fare My dishes wholesome though they homely are Let those that discontented do abide Go wrong their husbands to maintaine their pride For me the meanest ragge would hide my skinne Should better please me then rich roabes of sinne Which when I aske my reason shall be such No husband in the world shall need to grutch Then for your heyres reserue your lands vnto them They shall not curse my bones that did vndo them Call backe your selfe and thinke I am your friend That thus would stay you from your wilfull end Call backe your selfe or I may safety tell You are running downe the steepest hill to hell As when cold bloud and better thoughts shall shew You 'le hold then your friend though now your foe And more reioyce in that I did refell Your lawlesse pleasure then consent Fare-well CHAP. XIII An admonition to Husbands and Wiues for vnity and concord IN that you are bound you must obey for this knot can neither bee cut nor vnloosed but by death therefore as wise prisoners inclosed in narrow roomes sute their mindes to their limites and not impatient they can go no further augment their paine by knocking their heads against the walles so should it bee the wisedome both of Husbands and Wiues that haue vndergone either this curse or blessing as the successe or vse may make it vnto them to beare it with patience and content the asswager of all maladies and misfortunes and not to storme against that which will but the deeper plunge them in their owne misery For what madnesse were it for any one to crosse himselfe daily because another hath crossed him once or because another hath vexed him therefore to vexe himselfe Who is so weake in discretion that by some disaster hauing blemished one eye for griefe thereof will weepe out the other That mother tries a mercilesse conclusion Who hauing two sweet Babes when death takes one Will slay the other and be nurse to none Therefore séeing it is so whosoeuer thou art in this disaster séeke to plant an affection and loue at least wise a patience to that which must of necessity bee endured for there is nothing so easie that the want of this may not make hard nor nothing so harsh that this may not better temper there are many occasions that this age administreth more then former haue done of the vse of this armor though all other rust by the walles of peace introduced by the ouer-curious respects of secondary causes by secndary persons that for these vses perish the principall by ioyning hands where hearts are more dis-iunctiue then different sectaries and what is the issue of this but a weary patience or sudden destruction Others conioyne them selues by vntimely folly and these many times haue a timely repentance when pleasures ebbe and sorrowes begin to flow As for instance a youth of able meanes hopefull expectation equall carriage regardfully befriended carefully watched ouer purposed to better destiny pricked on by some rebellious bloud and guilty oportunity strikes downe all these hopes in the heat of his lust with a greasy Kitchin-weneh in a corner ceizeth her to his proper vse for vnlucky consequences this being done oppressed in minde forsaken of his friends shall hee the