THE FAMELIE OF LOVE Acted by the Children of his Maiesties Reuells Lectori Sydera iungamus facito mihi Iuppiter adsit Et tibi Mercurius noster dabit omnia saxo At London Printed for Iohn Helmes and are to be sold in Saint Dunstans Churchyard in Fleetstreet 1608 To the Reader TOo soone and too late this work is published Too soone in that it was in the Presse before J had notice of it by which meanes some faults may escape in the Printing Too late for that it was not published when the general voice of the people had seald it for good and the newnesse of it made it much more desired then at this time For Plaies in this Citie are like wenches new falne to the trade onelie desired of your neatest gallants whiles the' are fresh when they grow stale they must be vented by Termers and Cuntrie chapmen I know not how this labor will please Sure J am it past the censure of the Stage with a generall applause now whether vox populi be vox dei or no that I leaue to be tried by the accute iudgement of the famous six wits of the Citie Farewell Actorum Nomina Glister A Doctor of Physicke Purge A Iealous Pothecarie Dryfat A Marchant a brother of the Family Gerardine A Louer Lypsalue Two Gallants that only pursue Citty Lechery Guggin Two Gallants that only pursue Citty Lechery Club A Prentice Viall Seruant to Glister Smelt and Periwincle Pages to the Gallants Weomen Mystrisse Glister Mistrisse Purge An Elder in the Family Maria Neece to Glister PROLOGVS IF for opinion hath not blazd his fame Nor expectation filld the generall round You deeme his labors slight you both confound Your grauer iudgement and his merits Impartiall hearing fits iudicious spirits Nor let the fruit of many an hower fall By enuies tooth or base detractions gall Both which are tokens of such abiect spirits Which wanting worth themselues hate other merits Or els of such which once made greate by fame Repine at those which seeke t' attaine the same From both we know all truer iudgements free To them our muse with blushing modestie Patiently to her intreats their fauour Which done with iudgement praise or els dislike the labour ACTVS PRIMVS Actus Primus scena prima Enter Doctor Glister his wife and Maria Glister TRickes and showes protestations with men are like teares with weomen forgot ere the cheeke be drie Gerardine is a gentleman his Lands be in Statutes A is not for thee nor thou for him a is a Gallant and yong thoughts be most vnconstant Ma. Yet yong vines yeeld most wine Mist. Glist. But old veynes the best beleeue not these great breecht gallants they loue for profit not for affection if a brings thee to a fooles paradice a will forsake thee Glist. VVhich fortune God send my enemy Loue is a colde heate a bitter sweete a pleasure full of paine a huge losse and no gaine why shouldst thou loue him onely Ma. VVords cannot force what destiny hath seald VVho can resist the influence of his stars Or giue a reason why a loues or hates Since our affections are not ruld by will But will by our affections T is blasphemy Gainst Loues most sacred deity to axe VVhy we do loue since t is his onely power That swayes all our affections all things which be Beasts Birds Men Gods pay him their fealty Glister Tut Loue is an idle phantasie bred by desire nurst by delight An humour that begins his dominion in Leo the Lyon the signe of the hart and ends in Aries the Ram the signe of the head His power is to stir the bloud prickes vp the flesh fills all the body with a libidinous humour and is indeed the ouerture of all Ladies which to preuent J haue banisht Gerardine your dearly beloued my house and as for you since I Lyp. In her smile deceitfull Gug. Jn her hate reuengeable Lip And in nothing but her death acceptable I le tell thee ther 's no creature more desirous of an honest name and worse keepes it then a woman Dost heere follow this song if euer thou forsake thy Country for a wagtayle let me be whipt to death with ladies hearelaces Gera. Let ts heere that worthy song Gentill master Lipsalue Lips Obserue Now if I list will I loue no more Nor longer waite vpon a gill Since euery place now yeeldes a wench If one will not another will And if what I haue heard be true Then young and old and all will doe How dost thou like this man Gerar. No more no more This is the chamber which Confines my loue This is the Abstract of the spacious world VVithin it holds a Iemm so ritch so rare That Arte or nature neuer yet could set A valued prise to her in valued worth Lip Vnvalued worth ha ha ha VVhy shee s but a woman And they are windy turning veins loue light as chaffe which when Our nourishing graynes are winnow'd from them Vnconstantly they flye at the least wind of passion A womans eye can turne it selfe with quick dexterity And in each wanton glasse can comprehend Theyr sundry fancy suted to each fend tut their loues are all compact of leuitie euen like themselues Nil muliere lenius Gug. Tut man euery one knowes their woorth when they are at a rack rent In the tearm time they beare as great a prise as wheat when transportations are Gera. Peace le ts draw nere the window and listen if we may heare her Enter Maria at the window Ma. Debard of liberty Oh that this flesh could like swift mouing thoughts transfer it selfe From place to place vnseen and vndisolued Then should no yron ribbes or Churlish flinte diuide my loue and mee Deer Gerardin despight of Chaunce or Gardians Tyranny Jde mooue within thy orbe and thou in myne Lip She 'd mooue within thy orbe and thou in hers blud she talk bawdy to her selfe Guggin stand close Ma. But in vaine do I proclaime my greefe when ayre and walls can yeeld me no reliefe Gug. The walls are the more stony harted then Lip Peace good Gudgin gape not so loude Ma. Come thou my best companion thou art sensible and canst my wrongs reitterate Thou and I will make some myrth in spight of Tyranny The black brow'd night drawn in her pithie wayne In starry spangled pride rides now ore heaune Now is the time when stealing minutes tell The stole delight ioyd by all faythfull louers Now louing souls contriue both place meanes for wished pastimes onely I am pent within the closure of this fatall wall depriued of all my ioyes Ger. My deare Maria be Comforted in this the frame of heauen shall sooner sease to moue bright Phaebus Steeds leaue their diurnall race and all that is forsake their naturall beeing Ere I forget thy loue Ma. Who 'es that protestes so fast Ger. Thy euer vowed seruant Gerardine Ma. O By your vows it seemes you 'd faine get vp Lip I and ryde
linkt that if thou beest absent but one two houres thy acquaintance growes almost mouldy in my memory Lip And then fly blowne in mine how dost thou doe Shrim. Fellow page I thinke our acquaintance runs low to but if it run not o' the lees le ts set it a tylt and giue 'hem some dregs to their mouldy flye blowne complements Peri. No rather le ts pierce the Rundlets of our running heads and giue 'hem a neate cuppe of wagshippe to put downe their Courtship Shr. Courtship Cartship for the tongues of Complementers runne on wheeles but marke 'hem they ha' not done yet Gud. And yfaith how y st me thinkes thou hast been a long vagrant Lip The Rogation hath been long indeed therefore we may salute as ceremoniously as Lawyers when they meete after a long vacation who to renew the discontinud state Tale they strech it out with such length that whilst they greete before their Clyents kisse them behind Shr. If his nose were put i' the remainder of that state Tale he would say t were an vnsauory one Peri. J wonder why many men gird so at the Law Shr. I le tell thee because they themselues haue neither Law nor conscience Gud. But what newes now how stands the state of things at Brussels Lip Faith weake and limber weake and lymber nothing but pride and double dealing vertue is vices lacky beggars suck like horsse leaches at the hart of bounty and loues theame so tyerd and spurgald that he can be no longer ridden with honesty Gud. VVell fare the City yet there vertue rides a cockhorsse cherisht and kept warme in good sables and Fox furre and with the breath of his nostrills driues pride and couetousnes before him like 's owne shaddow beggers haue whipping cheare bounty obliges men too 't giues mony for Scrips and Scrolls liberality seald with strong Armes and Herauldry to out liue mortality loue there wil see the last man borne neuer giue ouer while ther 's an Arrow i' th Quiuer Lip Now we talke of loue I do know not far hence so good a subiect for that humor that if she would weare but the standing collor and her things in fashion our Ladies in the Court were but browne sugarcandy as grosse as grocery to her Gud. She is not so sweet as a potticaries shop is she Lip A plague on you ha you so good a sent for my life hee 's my Riuall Gudgin Her Name begins with mistrisse Purge dus it not Lip True the only commet of the City Gud. I if she would let her Ruffes streame out a little wider but J am sure she is ominous to me she makes ciuill wars and insurrections in the state of my stomach J had thought to haue bound my self from loue but hir purging comfets makes me loose body'd still Lip What has she ministerd to thee then Gud. Faith some Lectuary or so Lipsalue J I feare she takes too much of that Lectuary to stoope to loue it keeps her body soluble from sinne she is not troubled with carnall crudities nor the binding of the flesh Gud. Thou hast sounded her then belike Lypsalue Not I I am too shallow to sound her shee 's out of my Element if I shew passion and discourse of loue to hir shee tells me I am wide from the right scope she sayes she has an other Obiect and aymes at a better Loue then myne Gud. O that 's her husband Lip No no she speakes pure deuotion shee s impenitrable no gold or Oratory no vertue in hearbs nor no physick will make her loue Gudgin More is the pitty I saye that fayre weomen should prooue Saintes before Age had made them crooked T is my lucke to be crost still but I must not giue ouer the chase Lip Come hither boy while I thinke on 't Lipsalue and Shrimpe conferre Gud. Faith friend Lipsalue I perceiue you would faine play with my loue a pure creature t is for whom I haue sought euery Angle of my braine but either she scornes Courtiers as most of them doe because they are giuen to boast of their doings or els shee 's exceeding straight lac't therefore to preuent this smell smock I le to my friend Doctor Glister a man exquisite in th' Arte magicke who hath toulde me of many rare experimentes auaylable in this case Farewell friend Lypsalue Exit Gud. and Periwind Lip Adieu honest Gregorio frequent my lodging J haue a Violl de Gambo and good Tobacco Thou wilt doe this feate boy Shr. Else knocke my head and my pate together Exit Shrimpe Lip Away then bid him bring his measure with him Gerardine is trauel'd and I must needs be cast into his mould my flesh growes proude and Marias a sweet wench c. But yet I must not let fall my suite with mistrisse Purge least Cede vacanti my friend Gudgin ioyne issue I le rather to my learned Doctor for a spell for J haue a fire in my liuer burnes like Hell Exit Enter Mistrisse Glister and Maria Mist. Glist. J pray le ts haue no polluted feete nor Rumatick chaps enter the house I shall haue my flowre looke more gresie shortly then one of your Inne of Court dyning Tables and now to you good Neece I bend my speeche let me tell you plainly you are a foole to be loue-sicke for any man longer then he is in your company are you so ignorant in the rules of Courtship to thinke any one man to beare all the pricke and praise I tell thee be he neuer so proper there is an other to second him Ma. Let rules of Courtship be authentick still To such as doe pursue variety But vnto those whose modest thoughts do tend To honord Nuptialls and a regular life As farre from shew of nicenesse as from that Of impure thoughts all other obiects seeme Respectlesse of no proportion ballanst with esteeme Of what their soules affect Mist. Glist. No maruell sure you should regard these men with such reuerend opinion ther 's few good faces and fewer graces in any of them if one among a multitude haue a good paire of legs he neuer leaues riding the ring till he has quite mar'd the proportion nay some as I haue heard wanting lyniaments to their liking and Calfe to support themselues are fayne to vse Arte and supply themselues with quilted Calues which oftentimes in Reuelling fall about their Ancles and for their behauiour wit and discourse except some few that are trauelled it is as imperfectious and silly as your Schollers new come from the Vniuersity by this light I thinke we loose part of our happinesse when we make these weathercocks our equalls Ma. Disgrace not that for which our sect was made Society in nuptiall beds aboue these ioyes Which louers tast when their conioyned lips Suck forth each others soules the earth the Ayre Yea Gods themselues know none Elisiums sweet J all that blisse which Poets pens describe Are only known when soft and amorous foulds Entwine the Corps of two
Gentry Do. Glist. Then sir know I le effect it but vnderstand withal the apparition will be most horrid if it appeare in his proper forme and will so amaze and dull your sences that your appetite will be lost and weake though mistrisse Purge should attend it naked Now sir could you name a friend with whome you are most conuersant in his likenesse should the spirit appeare Gud. Of all men liuing my conuersation is most frequent with Lipsalue the Courtier Doct. Gli. T is ynough I le to my Spirit are these whips come there Enter one with whips Man Ready here sir Doct. Glist. So lie thou there my noble gallants I le so firke you Sir my Spirit agrees in Lipsalues shape to morrow twixt the howres of foure and fiue shall mistrisse Purge be rapt with a whirlwind into Lypsalues chamber that 's the fittest place for by the breake of day Lipsalue shall be mounted and forsake the City for three dayes so my Spirit resolues me Now sir by my Art at that very houre shall his chamber doore fly open into which boldly enter in this sort accoutered put me on a pure cleane shirt leaue off your doublet for Spirits indure nothing polluted take me this whip in your hand and being entred you shall see the Spirit in Lipsalues shape in the selfe same forme that you appeare speake these words here ready written take three bold steps forward then whippe him soundly who straight vanisheth and leaues mistris Purge to your will Gud. I but shall your Spirit come arm'd with a whippe too Do. Glist. He shall but haue no power to strike Gud. Is this infallible haue you seen the proofe Do. Glist. Probatum vpon my word I haue seene the experience if it fayle say I am a foole and no Magician Gud. Master Doctor I would you had some suite at Court by the faith of a Courtier J would beg it for you Fare you well Sir I shall reporte of you as I find your charme Exit Doct. Glist. And no otherwise sir let me vnderstand how you thriue ha ha ha now to my friend Lipsalue I must possesse him with the same circumstance wherein J am assured to get perpetuall laughter in their follies and my reuenge Exit Enter Maria ouer the Trunke Ma. O which way shall J turne or shift or goe To loose one thought of care no soothing hope Giues entermission or beguiles one howre Of tedious Time which neuer will haue end Whilst loue pursues in vayne my absent friend Thou continent of wealth whose want of stoare For that it could not peiz th vnequall Scale Of Auarice giu'st matter to my moane O drosse the leauell of insatiate Eyes The Diuells Engine and the soules corrupter Thou plaist th' Atturney gainst the lawfull force Of true affection dost enterpose a Barr twixt Harts conioyn'd Curst be thy seede of strife VVhose progresse choakes the naturall course of life Gerardine rising out of the Trunke she seemes fearefull and flyes Ma. O helpe helpe helpe Ger. Stay sweet Maria I bring thee ample ioy To check that sudden feare let thy sweet heart That constant seate of thy affection Repay that bloud exhausted from thy vaines Feare not sweet wench I am no apparition But the firme substance of thy truest friend Knowst thou me now Ma. Gerardine my loue What vnheard of accident presents Thy vnexpected selfe and giues my heart Matter of ioy mixt with astonishment I thought thou hadst bin cabyn'd in thy ship Not Trunkt within my cruell gardyans house Ger. That cruelty giues fuell to desire For loue supprest fares like a raging fire which burnes all obstacles that stop his course And mounts aloft the Ocean in his source May easier hide himselfe and be confynd Then Loue can be obscurd For in the mind She holds her seate and through that heau'nly essence Is neare when farre remote her virtuall presence Fills like the Ayr all places giues delight Hope in despaire and hart gainst fell despite That worst of men thy cruell gardyan may Keepe downe a while but cannot dissipate what heau'n hath ioynd for fate and prouidence Gaue me this Stratagem to let him know That Loue will creepe where t is restraynd to go Ma. I apprehend the rest O rare conceit I see thy trauell happily was faynd To win accesse which with small ease thou hast gaynd This Trunk which he so greedily supposes Contaynes thy substance as it doth indeed Vpon thy fayre pretence in liew of loue Bequeath'd to me if death should stop the course This Trunk J say he hugs sink thou or swim So he may feed his wolfe that roote of Sin His Auarice but heauen that mocks mans might Giues this close meanes t' incist vpon our right Ger. Ingenious Spirit true Oracle of loue Thou hast preuented me this was my plot Whose end and scope I long to imitate With accents free and vncontrolld with feare Do's oportunity stand fayre Ma. Not now Daunger stands centinell Ger. Then I le retyre We must be cautilous Ma. So so and Tyme Shall not oft turne his howr glasse ere I le find Peace and occasion fitting to thy mind Exeunt Finis Actus Secundi ACTVS TERTIVS Actus Tertius scena prima Enter Gerardine and Maria Ger. THe coast is cleare and Argus wakefull eies Securely sleep time turnes to vs his front Come sweet Maria of th' auspicious howres Le ts take aduantage Ma. With all my hart J do imbrace the motion with thy selfe Welcome sweet friend to liberty of Ayer Which now me thinks doth promp our breaths to moue Sweet accents of delight the ioyes of loue How dost thou brooke thy little ease thy Trunk Ger. That Trunke confines this Chest this Chest contaynes Th' vnbounded speculacion of our loue Incomprehensible Griefe ioy hope and feares Thaffections of my mind are like the spheares VVhich in their iarring motions do agree Through th' influence of loues sweet harmony Ma. Are not inferiour bodies here on earth Produc'd and gouern'd by those heauenly ones Ger. They are Ma. They iar you say yet in that strife maintaine Perpetuall league why should their influence In rationall soules be checkt by erring sence Or why should mutuall loue confirmd by heau'n B' infringd by men me thinks t is most vneuen Ger. Thou argu'st well Maria and this withall That Bruites nor Animalls do proue a thrall To such seruility soules that are wards To gold opinion or th' undue regards Of broking men wolues that in sheep-skin bands Pray on the harts to ioyne th' vnwilling hands Ruine fayre Stocks when generous houses die Or propagate their name with Bastardy Ma. Sterility and barennes ensue Such forced loue nor shall erronious men Peruert my setled thoughts or turne mine eye From thy fayre obiect which I will pursue Rich in thy loue prowde of this interuiew Ger. I le suck these accents let our breaths ingender A generation of such pleasing sounds To enterchange delights O my bloud 's on fire Sweet let me giue more scope
to true desire Ma. What wouldst thou more then our minds firm contract Ger. Tut words are wind thought vnreduct to Art Is but an Embrion in the truest sence Ma. I am beleagued I had need of sence You make me blush play faire yet aboue boord Ger. Here me exemplify loues Latine word Together with thy selfe As thus harts ioynd Amore take A from thence Then more is the perfect morall sence Plurall in manners which in thee doe shine Saintlike immortall spotles and diuine Take m away ore in beauties name Craues an eternall Trophee to thy fame Lastly take o in re stands all my rest which I in Chaucer stile do tearm a iest Ma. You breake all modest bounds away away Ger. So when men come behind do women say Ma. Come come I say Ger. I that 's the word indeed Men that come bold before are like to speed Enter Lipsalue and Shrimp his Page But who comes here monstrum horrendum my nostrills haue the ranke sent of knauery Maria le ts remoue our selues to the window and obserue this piece of mans flesh Exeunt Lip Now mistris Maria ward your selfe if my strong hope fayle not I shall be with you to bring Shr. To bring what sir some more o' your kind Lip Faith boy that 's mine ayme Shr. I le be sworne sir you haue a good loose you let fly at chem a pace Lip I haue shot fayre and far off but now I hope to hit the mark indeed Shrim. God saue it Lip But wher 's the Signe Shr. VVhy there Lip That 's a speciall thing to be obseru'd Shr. I haue heard talke of the Gemini me thinks that should be a Star fauourable to your proceeding Lip The Gemini O I apprehend thee that 's because J am so like Gerardine ha is 't not so boy Shr. As if you were spit out on s mouth sir you must needs be like him for you are both cut out of a peece but Lord sir how you hunt this chase of loue are you not weary Lipsalue Jndefatigable boy indefatigable Shr. Fattigable quoth you you may call it leaneable well ynough for J am sure it is able to make a man leane Lip T is my vocation boy we must neuer be weary of well doing loue 's as proper to a Courtier as precisenesse to a Puritane Enter Gerardine and Maria aboue Shr. Loue subbandy lust a Punke in this place subintelligitur Lypsalue Boy I haue spyd my Saint Shr. Then downe on your knees Lip Fly of least she take thee for my familiar Saue thee sweet Maria Nay wonder not for thou thy selfe art wonder To see this vnexpected gratulaion Maria VVhom do I see O how my sences wander Am not I Hero art not thou Leander Gerar. Thar' t in the right sweet wench more of that vayne Lip Her passion ouercomes her t is the kindest soule O excellent deuise it works it works boy Shr. Jt dos in deed sir like the suds of an Alefat or a washing Bole Lip Ioy not too much extreames are perillous Ma. O weather beaten loue Cisley go make a fire Go fetch my ladder of Ropes Leander's come Lip Marke how pretily in her rapture she harpes vpon Gerardines trauell let th extasie haue end for I am Gerardine Gerar. The diuell you are Ma. Ha let me see my loue so soone returnd Lyp. I neuer trauelld farther then thine eyes My bruted iourney was a happy proiect To cast a myst before thy iealouse gardyan Who now suspectles giues some hope t' attaine My wisht delight before pursu'd in vaine Ger. Aske if he straynd not hard for that same proiect Ma. Has not that proiect ouerrackt thy braine And spent more wit then thou hast left behind Shrimp By this light she flowts him Lip No wit is infinite I spent some brayne Thy loue did stretch my wit vpon the Tenters Ger. Then is 't like to shrinke in the wetting Mar. It cottens well it cannot choose but beare A prety napp I tender thy capacity A comfortable Caudle cherish it But wher 's my fauour that I bid thee weare As pledge of loue Ger. Now dost thou put him too t More Tenters for his wit hee 's Nonplus quite Lip I weare it sweet Maria but on hy dayes Preserue it from the taynting of the ayre What should J say t is in my tother hose Ma. How in your tother hose he that J loue Shall weare my fauor in those hose he has on Lip Fiends and furies block that I am Shrim. In your tother hose she talkt of a ladder of Ropes if she would let it downe for my life he would hang himselfe in 't Jn your tother hose why those hose are in Lauender besides they haue neuer a Codpeece but indeed there needs no Iuy where the wine is good In your tother hose Ma. I said you were too prodigall of wit Lyp. Expostulate no more grant me accesse Or else I le trauell to the wildernesse Maria Your onely way go trauell till you tyer Be rid and let a gull discharge the hyer Shr. Master the Doctor the Doctor Lip Where which way Shrim. This way that way some way I heard him comming Lip O boy J am abusd gulld disgrac't my credit 's crackt Shr. You know that 's nothing for a new Courtier Lip O I shall run beside my selfe Shr. No sir that 's my office I le run by your side Lip My braine is out of temper what shall J do Shr. Take her councell sir get a cullis to your capacity a restoratiue to your reason and a warming pan to your wit he comes he comes Lip Follow close boy let him not see vs Exeunt Enter Doctor Glister Doct. Glist. VVhat more flatterers about my carrion more battery to my walls shall I neuer be rid of these Petronell Flashes As for my friend Gerardine the wind of my rage has blown him to discouer countries and let the sea purge his loue away and him together I care not yong wenches now are all o' the hoigh we that are gardyans must respect more besides Titles gold lace person or parts we must haue Lordships and mannors elsewhere as well as in the man wealth commands all and wealth I le haue or else my mynion shall leade Apes in hell J must after this gallant too I le know his randiuous and what company he keeps Exit Ma: Now must we be abrupt retyre sweet friend To thy small ease what more remaines to do VVee 'l consumate at our next enteruiew Ger. So shall J beare my prisonment with pleasure Looke thou but big or cruell foe will yeeld And giue to Hymen the honor of the field Exeunt Enter Mistrisse Purge and Club before her with a Linke Mist. Purge Fy fy Club goe a tother side the way thou collowst me my ruffe thou wilt make me an vnclean member i' the congregation Club. Jf you be vncleane mistris you may pure your selfe you haue my masters ware at your commaundement but what am I then that
Alehouse J vse n'other phisick for it Mi. Gli. Did euer such a peasant defile my floare or breathe so near me yfayth sirra you would be bumd for your Roguery if you were well seru'd Ger. I am burn'd well ynough allready Mistresse look here else surreuerence in your worship maister Doctors lips are not made of better stuffe Mi. Gli. What an impudent Rogue is this sirra be gone I say I would be rid o' you Ger. Be rid o' me I shal gallop then you mistake me forsooth I am a footpost I do not vse to ride Mi. Gl. I think the Rascal be humorus or drunk wel I wil read the letter and send him packing or else hee will spew or do worse before me fy on him I think hee will infect me with some filthy disease Ger. Or else I loose mine ayme Mi. Gli. VVhat 's heere Your poore nurse Thomasine Sweedlesse for my life now shall I find out my husbands knauery I haue so long suspected Ger. She begins to nibble t will take yfaith mistresse I see some discontentment in your looks Care ill befittes so delicate a spirit Be frolick wench for hee that is so neere thee has been much neerer Mar. That Accent sounds sweet musick t is my loue That tong breaths life into my liueles spirits Gerardine ô rapture why thus disguiz'd Ger. No more be mute thus must I vary formes To bring our Cares to end her Iealousy Ensues this Dryft which if it take true scope Loues ioy comes next be fearelesse in that hope Mi. Gli. T is so Ratsbane I hate it rack's on it torments me heere t is Woe worth the time that euer I gaue sucke to a Child that came in at the window god knows how villanous Leacher Yet if you did but see how like the little red headed knaue is to his Father damnable Doctor A Bastard in the Countrey and an other towardes here J am out of doubt this is his worke You are an Arrant Strumpet Incest fornication abomination in my owne house intollerable O for long nailes to scratch out his Eyes Ger, Or the breeches to fight with him Mi. Gli. Out of my sight queane thou shalt to Bridewell O I shall be mad with rage Ger. Then you shall goe to Bedlam Mi. Gli. Hence you Slaue Ger. I must haue a penny you must pay me for my paines Mi. Gli. The Diuell pay thee Ger. O that 's the Doctor but he wants his hornes Mi. Gli. But I le furnish him ere long if I liue Ger. It works as I would wish farewell Maria This storme once past faire weather euer after Exeunt Mi. Gli. VVas euer woman so mou'd but you shall be talkt withall and for mine oulde fornicator he shall ha 't as hot as coales yfaith heer 's stuffe indeed Come mynkes come ther 's Law for you both haue I found your knauery if I winke at this let me be stone blind or ston'd to death beare this and beare all Exeunt Enter Lypsalue and Gudgin Lip Our hopes are crost sure ther 's some prouidence VVhich countermaunds libidinous appetites For what we most intend is countercheckt By strange and vnexpected accidents For by disguise procuring full accesse Nay ready to haue feard th expected prize The candle out steps twixt my hopes and me Some pleasant Groine possest and full inioyd That sweet for which our vigilāt eies haue watcht And in one moment frustrates all our hopes Gudgin Vppon my life we are bewitcht the greasie Rascall that first seazed Mistrisse Purge by the last reflection of the light appeared to my sight not much vnlike her husband Lipsalue The Courtes gall the Citties plague and Europaes Sea forme be his perpetuall Crest what ere a was To loose Mistrisse Purge for lacke of dexterity is a disgrace insalueable The like oportunity will neuer present it selfe Gudg. T was an egregious greefe I must confesse to see a knaue slip betwixt vs both and take occasion by the foretop but since these proiects haue had so star crosse euents le ts lay some plot how to reuenge our late disgrace on the Doctor by making him Cuckold Enter Purge Lipsalue Agreed but what melancholie sir with acrostick armes now comes from the Family Gug. Purge the potecarie J prethee le ts step aside and heare the issue of this discontent Purge O the miserie of married mens estate Lip A begins very pittifully Pur. O women what are many of you Lipsalue VVhy disease to batchelers and plagues to maried men Pur. O marriage the rage of all our miseries my wife is a desembling strumpet Gudgin So is manie a mans besides yours and what of that Purge I would haue a law that all such which pray little should instantly be married for then would they pray continually if it were but to be rid of their wiues Lip This is a charitable request and surely would passe the lower House Purge Surely if affliction can bring a man to heauen I cannot see how any married man can bee damn'd J haue made my selfe a plaine Cuckold A pile on yee want you had you not been soe manable here are some would haue saued you that labor Purge VVhat shall I doe in this extremity had I but witnesse of the fact I woulde make her answere it before authority This is my wedding Ringe T is hit I knowe it by the posy This I tooke from her finger in the dark and she was therewith very well pleased were not this tro a sufficient testimony She knowes not that it was my selfe got so neare her J will take councell well litle know Batchelers the miseries they vndergo when they prostrate themselues to women Lip O most true Master Purge little knows a man what Elements a is to passe when a puts his head vnder a womans girdle your passion Master Purge is ouer heard and plaine tale to tell we were eye witnesses of your wiues trechery and if need be will be ready to depose as much Purge What master Lipsalue and master Guggin are you disguised testimonies nay then Reuenge looke big Elphe and Phayrie Helpe to reuenge the wronged Poticary Gud. Why now a speakes like himselfe get me a Parritor for her straite Lip Conceale the Ring my little Purge let not thy wife know thou hast it vntill she comes to her triall Enter Drifat and Gerardine Pur. Your aduices are very pithy therefore in priuate let me disclose my intent Gud. Off boyes Shrimpe what dost thou thinke of thy Master is a not a rare gull Per. J thinke a will swallow and pocket more disgraces then large consenst Lawyer Fees in a Michaelmasse Terme Thy master my honest Periwincle comes not much shorte of a foole to but that a is a Courtier Shrim. Draw somewhat neere and ouer-heare their conference Ger. This shape of the Crier must Club to morrow assume Are you fitted for Popin the Proctor Dri. Excellent and haue spent some study in the mysticall cases of Venery J can describe how often a man may lye