will_v save_v or_o damn_v i_o at_o last_o i_o know_v not_o neither_o do_v i_o think_v it_o possible_a for_o i_o ever_o to_o have_v know_v that_o except_o it_o be_v by_o some_o extraordinary_a way_n which_o very_o few_o do_v attain_v unto_o but_o by_o degree_n i_o begin_v to_o stay_v upon_o some_o promise_n through_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o first_o i_o think_v it_o can_v not_o stand_v with_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o damn_v a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v such_o heart-working_n and_o desire_n after_o he_o as_o i_o have_v have_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n those_o word_n of_o sampsons_n mother_n judges_z 13._o 23._o i_o think_v that_o if_o he_o do_v intend_v to_o destroy_v i_o he_o will_v never_o have_v give_v i_o such_o desire_n after_o he_o &_o preserve_v i_o till_o now_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n mat._n 5._o 6._o do_v much_o support_v i_o for_o i_o think_v that_o if_o ever_o poor_a creature_n do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n i_o do_v these_o promise_n and_o consideration_n with_o some_o confuse_a apprehension_n that_o i_o have_v concern_v the_o lord_n jesus_n do_v much_o raise_v i_o the_o thought_n i_o have_v of_o he_o be_v such_o as_o these_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n must_v be_v satisfy_v for_o sin_n and_o that_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v his_o justice_n but_o a_o perfect_a righteousness_n now_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a in_o all_o my_o way_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o perform_v such_o a_o righteousness_n but_o what_o i_o can_v not_o do_v christ_n have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o can_v not_o apply_v christ_n till_o i_o have_v repent_v that_o be_v till_o i_o have_v mourn_v fast_v and_o pray_v afflict_v myself_o in_o such_o a_o measure_n as_o i_o think_v may_v stand_v with_o the_o not_o destroy_v or_o prejudice_v nature_n for_o there_o god_n will_v have_v mercy_n rather_o than_o sacrifice_v and_o jesus_n christ_n will_v make_v up_o that_o which_o be_v want_v so_o that_o christ_n be_v my_o stay_n though_o it_o be_v through_o a_o very_a carnal_a and_o wrong_a apprehension_n but_o though_o i_o think_v i_o must_v be_v so_o qualify_v and_o fit_v for_o christ_n before_o i_o can_v receive_v he_o and_o be_v make_v happy_a by_o he_o yet_o i_o know_v there_o be_v no_o mercy_n to_o be_v find_v without_o he_o nor_o no_o life_n but_o in_o he_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o live_v some_o year_n more_o and_o grow_v very_o cheerful_a &_o confident_a as_o i_o think_v it_o be_v possible_a to_o be_v under_o such_o a_o apprehension_n but_o yet_o my_o confidence_n be_v always_o more_o or_o less_o as_o i_o be_v more_o or_o less_o strict_a in_o my_o way_n and_o sometime_o though_o i_o have_v be_v never_o so_o strict_a yet_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o fear_v leave_v i_o have_v not_o do_v as_o much_o as_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o do_v for_o otherways_o i_o think_v christ_n will_v be_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o i_o yet_o my_o hope_n be_v great_a than_o my_o fear_n and_o i_o be_v resolve_v if_o i_o perish_v i_o will_v perish_v here_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n and_o now_o i_o do_v not_o only_o see_v that_o possible_a which_o before_o i_o think_v impossible_a but_o i_o have_v great_a hope_n and_o much_o confidence_n most_o time_n this_o apprehension_n though_o it_o be_v that_o which_o be_v far_o below_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n yet_o it_o do_v present_a christ_n very_o lovely_a to_o i_o and_o do_v produce_v in_o i_o a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o as_o i_o dare_v not_o but_o so_o judge_n consider_v how_o i_o stand_v affect_v to_o and_o delight_v in_o whatever_o i_o know_v to_o be_v his_o will_n though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o think_v at_o the_o first_o the_o great_a wheel_n that_o carry_v all_o about_o be_v my_o own_o good_a yet_o i_o be_o very_o confident_a that_o at_o this_o time_n i_o have_v a_o real_a love_n to_o &_o delight_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o his_o commandment_n be_v not_o grievous_a to_o i_o but_o i_o do_v approve_v of_o they_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a thing_n because_o approve_v of_o by_o the_o lord_n and_o i_o well_o remember_v i_o be_v so_o far_o take_v off_o from_o delight_v in_o sin_n that_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v i_o do_v hate_v it_o with_o a_o perfect_a hatred_n as_o that_o which_o be_v in_o itself_o the_o only_a object_n of_o hatred_n as_o it_o be_v against_o god_n and_o all_o my_o delight_n be_v to_o be_v with_o those_o that_o i_o think_v do_v excel_v in_o virtue_n and_o i_o can_v not_o bear_v wicked_a person_n but_o their_o way_n and_o practice_n be_v odious_a to_o i_o yet_o still_o i_o say_v my_o condition_n at_o this_o time_n be_v a_o condition_n of_o extreme_a bondage_n and_o below_o the_o gospel_n i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o it_o but_o only_o this_o that_o what_o i_o have_v here_o write_v i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v be_v not_o the_o hundred_o part_n of_o the_o labour_n and_o travel_n of_o my_o soul_n while_o i_o live_v in_o that_o condition_n and_o if_o i_o shall_v go_v about_o to_o write_v it_o all_o i_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o when_o to_o make_v a_o end_n but_o god_n be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o free_v i_o from_o that_o bondage_n by_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n through_o his_o son_n to_o who_o be_v all_o praise_n and_o glory_n for_o ever_o more_o amen_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o second_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v the_o person_n by_o who_o my_o experience_n in_o these_o thing_n begin_v which_o be_v one_o as_o i_o judge_v not_o right_o call_v or_o send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n he_o not_o be_v relate_v to_o a_o true_a church_n though_o otherwise_o i_o hope_v a_o godly_a man_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n he_o have_v receive_v from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o godly_a man_n in_o time_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n of_o a_o false_a church_n second_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v not_o the_o work_n of_o a_o false_a ministry_n neither_o be_v it_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o convert_v soul_n by_o yet_o accidental_o or_o providential_o something_o may_v be_v do_v that_o way_n by_o they_o especial_o in_o time_n of_o persecution_n where_o there_o be_v not_o a_o true_a ministry_n abroad_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o this_o time_n and_o that_o for_o these_o reason_n first_o because_o now_o be_v the_o day_n of_o god_n power_n noâ—_n only_o to_o make_v i_o willing_a but_o there_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n and_o every_o faculty_n of_o it_o which_o before_o be_v dead_a have_v now_o some_o life_n and_o motion_n in_o thing_n relate_v to_o god_n and_o godliness_n as_o the_o understanding_n be_v open_v so_o the_o will_n be_v change_v and_o make_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o truth_n and_o to_o embrace_v the_o way_n of_o life_n though_o it_o be_v through_o the_o great_a difficulty_n yet_o in_o much_o darkness_n and_o then_o the_o affection_n be_v take_v and_o though_o there_o be_v but_o a_o little_a glimpse_n of_o truth_n appear_v yet_o there_o be_v a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o a_o great_a hatred_n of_o the_o contrary_a all_o which_o i_o apprehend_v can_v not_o be_v but_o from_o some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n though_o through_o false_a teach_n there_o be_v not_o that_o bless_a fruit_n of_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v also_o the_o memory_n be_v active_a and_o busy_a to_o retain_v truth_n so_o that_o here_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n as_o aforesaid_a a_o second_o reason_n be_v because_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o conviction_n of_o sin_n by_o the_o law_n and_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v under_o my_o burden_n that_o which_o do_v support_v and_o uphold_v my_o spirit_n be_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n though_o my_o apprehension_n of_o he_o be_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n as_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n therein_o contain_v a_o three_o reason_n be_v from_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o fruit_n which_o do_v appear_v at_o that_o time_n which_o be_v a_o entire_a love_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o conversation_n suitable_a thereunto_o according_a to_o the_o light_n then_o receive_v for_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o do_v good_a but_o a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o forbear_n evil_a
for_o doubtless_o though_o its_o one_o of_o the_o last_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o the_o least_o trial_n that_o after_o we_o have_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n overcome_v the_o world_n the_o devil_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n we_o shall_v meet_v with_o let_n and_o discouragement_n from_o one_o another_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o be_v suitable_a to_o a_o imperfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o be_v and_o by_o which_o we_o may_v learn_v as_o to_o live_v more_o single_o on_o god_n so_o also_o to_o press_v after_o and_o long_o for_o that_o perfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o shall_v be_v at_o the_o appearance_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n i_o may_v enlarge_v much_o in_o this_o matter_n but_o i_o intend_v only_o to_o hint_n at_o thing_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o stir_v up_o the_o heart_n of_o some_o more_o able_a to_o enlarge_v upon_o it_o know_v there_o be_v great_a need_n that_o saint_n shall_v be_v exhort_v to_o this_o duty_n namely_o not_o to_o discourage_v but_o to_o encourage_v one_o another_o in_o all_o good_a thing_n &_o i_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v set_v before_o we_o that_o exhortation_n of_o the_o apostle_n gal._n 5._o 26_o let_v we_o not_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n provoke_v one_o another_o envy_v one_o another_o from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o to_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n make_v way_n for_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n and_o so_o to_o provoke_v and_o grieve_v one_o another_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o scripture_n with_o jam._n 4._o 5._o may_v through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o saint_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o questionless_a a_o slight_n of_o the_o gift_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o other_o do_v many_o time_n arise_v off_o a_o desire_n of_o vain_a glory_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n the_o first_o note_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o a_o state_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n before_o conversion_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v civil_o bring_v up_o from_o a_o child_n and_o keep_v from_o such_o gross_a evil_n as_o person_n mere_o civil_a do_v not_o allow_v but_o otherways_o very_o vain_a and_o that_o which_o instrumental_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n as_o i_o conceive_v be_v together_o with_o my_o civil_a education_n a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o a_o fear_n of_o misery_n have_v a_o general_a notion_n that_o sin_n be_v attend_v with_o misery_n for_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o be_v present_o under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n to_o take_v off_o which_o and_o also_o to_o attain_v happiness_n in_o the_o end_n i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n but_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o make_v no_o inquiry_n what_o religion_n be_v but_o take_v it_o for_o grant_v that_o that_o be_v religion_n which_o be_v then_o in_o force_n from_o king_n and_o bishop_n and_o so_o go_v on_o i_o grow_v very_o superstitious_o zealous_a in_o all_o thing_n suitable_a to_o the_o service_n book_n or_o a_o cathedral_n kind_a of_o worship_n and_o i_o think_v the_o more_o i_o abound_v in_o fast_v book_n prayer_n and_o observation_n of_o day_n and_o time_n mourning_n and_o afflict_v myself_o for_o sin_n the_o better_a it_o be_v so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v exceed_v most_o that_o i_o know_v in_o that_o way_n for_o blind_a zeal_n and_o superstitious_a devotion_n yet_o at_o this_o very_a time_n i_o think_v myself_o far_o from_o popery_n and_o do_v always_o oppose_v that_o with_o much_o zeal_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a with_o much_o ignorance_n then_o be_v acquaint_v with_o some_o who_o be_v then_o call_v puritan_n i_o begin_v to_o perceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o difference_n betwixt_o that_o which_o i_o practise_v and_o that_o which_o be_v do_v by_o they_o and_o my_o observation_n of_o their_o carriage_n and_o hear_v they_o speak_v such_o language_n as_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o do_v so_o far_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o own_o condition_n and_o oft_o time_n when_o i_o have_v do_v my_o long_a book_n prayer_n though_o i_o have_v scarce_o ever_o hear_v of_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n yet_o i_o will_v in_o a_o poor_a break_a manner_n complain_v to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n that_o what_o i_o do_v be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o i_o do_v beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n whatever_o i_o do_v undergo_v for_o attain_v of_o it_o but_o then_o sometime_o i_o think_v my_o condition_n good_a enough_o and_o though_o i_o be_v never_o give_v to_o rail_v or_o speak_v evil_a of_o such_o person_n yet_o i_o think_v they_o make_v more_o ado_n than_o they_o need_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o god_n do_v not_o require_v so_o much_o strictness_n as_o they_o seem_v to_o plead_v for_o but_o hear_v they_o speak_v much_o of_o knowledge_n and_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o ignorance_n and_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o read_v the_o scripture_n and_o hear_v sermon_n but_o my_o understanding_n not_o be_v yet_o open_v it_o be_v to_o little_a effect_n for_o i_o remember_v i_o be_v at_o this_o time_n like_o a_o stock_n or_o stone_n as_o to_o the_o true_a understanding_n of_o that_o which_o i_o read_v or_o hear_v that_o i_o can_v true_o say_v as_o the_o prophet_n in_o psal_n 73._o 22._o so_o foolish_a be_v i_o and_o ignorant_a even_o as_o a_o beast_n before_o thou_o and_o yet_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_v something_o in_o affection_n as_o when_o i_o hear_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n against_o sin_n i_o shall_v tremble_v and_o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n or_o the_o love_n and_o sweetness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o heart_n will_v melt_v as_o i_o think_v yet_o i_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o understanding_n and_o judgement_n this_o in_o general_n i_o do_v remember_v as_o to_o that_o state_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o be_v keep_v from_o sin_n by_o a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o fear_v of_o misery_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o in_o the_o day_n of_o ignorance_n before_o we_o have_v receive_v grace_n to_o restrain_v we_o from_o sin_n it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o be_v restrain_v by_o something_o else_o and_o true_o to_o i_o its_o a_o mercy_n so_o considerable_a that_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v second_o concern_v my_o seek_n after_o and_o frame_v to_o myself_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o its_o natural_a for_o person_n to_o make_v after_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n and_o rather_o than_o they_o will_v worship_v nothing_o they_o will_v worship_v samaritan_n like_v they_o know_v not_o what_o john_n 4._o 22._o three_o concern_v my_o oppose_a popery_n when_o myself_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o same_o thing_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n may_v oppose_v a_o error_n and_o yet_o live_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o same_o error_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o though_o in_o a_o low_a degree_n and_o not_o know_v it_o and_o that_o not_o only_a person_n total_o ignorant_a but_o saint_n also_o if_o they_o take_v not_o good_a heed_n for_o i_o have_v experience_v this_o more_o time_n than_o once_o four_o concern_v my_o complaint_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n in_o relation_n to_o truth_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n before_o conversion_n may_v for_o aught_o i_o know_v true_o pray_v and_o that_o from_o a_o secret_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o heart_n and_o therefore_o though_o i_o can_v from_o scripture-rule_a exhort_v such_o to_o pray_v so_o neither_o from_o ence_n can_v i_o forbid_v they_o but_o rather_o rejoice_v to_o see_v the_o heart_n of_o any_o run_v out_o in_o such_o a_o way_n five_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o truth_n though_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o ignorant_a person_n in_o hear_v truth_n may_v have_v their_o reason_n so_o far_o touch_v that_o they_o may_v assent_v to_o it_o and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n and_o because_o it_o be_v not_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n that_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o reason_n why_o ignorant_a person_n be_v so_o uncertain_a and_o so_o unconstant_a in_o their_o thought_n
but_o a_o hatred_n and_o indignation_n against_o it_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o at_o this_o time_n i_o can_v but_o much_o tender_a person_n in_o the_o like_a condition_n who_o do_v manifest_a by_o a_o good_a conversation_n a_o real_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o their_o heart_n though_o live_v in_o a_o discovery_n below_o the_o privilege_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o not_o so_o to_o tender_v they_o as_o not_o to_o tender_v the_o glory_n of_o truth_n above_o they_o be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n in_o keep_v a_o strict_a separation_n from_o they_o in_o relation_n to_o their_o visible_a and_o public_a worship_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n three_o observation_n from_o the_o three_o forego_v reason_n first_o concern_v the_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o may_v be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n to_o life_n and_o godliness_n long_o before_o that_o soul_n come_v to_o enjoy_v life_n by_o believe_v second_o concern_v my_o be_v stay_v upon_o christ_n when_o i_o be_v like_a to_o sink_v upder_v my_o burden_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o soul_n may_v cleave_v to_o and_o real_o stay_v upon_o christ_n through_o some_o apprehension_n which_o present_v he_o lovely_a though_o it_o may_v be_v that_o which_o do_v not_o present_v he_o so_o lovely_a as_o indeed_o he_o be_v three_o concern_v that_o entire_a love_n i_o have_v to_o christ_n and_o his_o way_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n manifest_v to_o a_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o ordinary_o beget_v love_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o christ_n yet_o its_o possible_a there_o may_v be_v a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o before_o there_o be_v such_o a_o manifestation_n now_o have_v mind_v many_o particular_n as_o to_o my_o condition_n at_o that_o time_n when_o i_o do_v experience_n these_o thing_n i_o can_v altogether_o omit_v the_o kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o persecution_n which_o though_o it_o be_v but_o small_a comparative_o with_o some_o other_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o than_o some_o meet_v with_o and_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o do_v require_v some_o strength_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o undergo_v it_o with_o comfort_n in_o which_o he_o not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o judge_v it_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o it_o at_o that_o time_n present_a so_o i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o suffer_v not_o as_o a_o evil_a doer_n because_o what_o i_o do_v then_o be_v upon_o a_o conscientious_a account_n according_a to_o that_o light_n receive_v i_o can_v mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v hearty_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v lay_v to_o their_o charge_n but_o this_o book_n be_v intend_v by_o i_o as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o former_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o think_v it_o not_o altogether_o useless_a as_o to_o remember_v the_o time_n i_o be_v in_o that_o condition_n &_o the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o so_o also_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o and_o that_o be_v after_o the_o bishop_n be_v quite_o take_v away_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o sit_v of_o the_o late_a synod_n and_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o ensnare_v by_o the_o change_n of_o time_n and_o law_n for_o at_o that_o very_a time_n when_o the_o presbyterian_a party_n so_o call_v begin_v to_o reign_v and_o i_o may_v have_v reign_v with_o they_o and_o enjoy_v smile_n from_o they_o be_v convict_v of_o a_o further_a discovery_n of_o truth_n i_o leave_v they_o and_o be_v content_a to_o become_v a_o scorn_n and_o a_o byword_n among_o they_o though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v much_o respect_n from_o some_o of_o they_o all_o along_o yet_o my_o suffering_n from_o that_o party_n be_v far_o more_o than_o the_o former_a i_o can_v here_o mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v desire_v as_o for_o the_o former_a it_o may_v not_o be_v charge_v upon_o they_o only_o these_o general_a hint_n i_o hope_v will_v be_v sufficient_a to_o bring_v particular_n to_o my_o remembrance_n for_o these_o thing_n ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o because_o in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n much_o engage_v in_o praise_n to_o god_n and_o that_o several_a way_n one_o way_n and_o that_o not_o the_o least_o be_v that_o god_n have_v break_v their_o power_n for_o indeed_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o according_a to_o my_o observation_n and_o experience_n i_o have_v see_v as_o persecute_v a_o spirit_n in_o they_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o the_o former_a and_o they_o do_v appear_v as_o bitter_a if_o not_o more_o against_o such_o as_o be_v call_v anabaptist_n than_o ever_o the_o bishop_n do_v against_o those_o that_o be_v call_v puritan_n consider_v their_o time_n and_o power_n for_o as_o their_o time_n be_v short_a so_o when_o their_o power_n be_v high_a there_o be_v always_o a_o party_n which_o do_v a_o little_a awe_n they_o i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o that_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o i_o do_v likewise_o desire_v that_o god_n will_v destroy_v or_o at_o least_o keep_v under_o every_o persecute_v spirit_n under_o what_o name_n or_o title_n soever_o call_v till_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o repentance_n the_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o apprehend_v and_o believe_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o in_o believe_v to_o receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o this_o experience_n i_o can_v omit_v to_o write_v something_o concern_v the_o read_n of_o a_o book_n by_o which_o as_o a_o mean_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n i_o receive_v these_o never_o to_o be_v forget_v mercy_n after_o i_o have_v live_v about_o five_o or_o six_o year_n a_o strict_a professor_n be_v very_o confident_a and_o settle_a upon_o the_o lees_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n there_o come_v a_o man_n to_o the_o town_n where_o i_o live_v who_o though_o he_o be_v general_o repute_v to_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o he_o be_v much_o oppose_v as_o hold_v gross_a error_n in_o his_o judgement_n and_o hear_v many_o speak_v very_o bitter_o against_o he_o i_o do_v much_o ponder_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o daâ—ing_v as_o nicodemus_n speak_v concern_v christ_n john_n 7._o 50._o to_o judge_v before_o i_o hear_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v with_o he_o which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v he_o speak_v such_o thing_n as_o i_o never_o hear_v before_o which_o i_o then_o ignorant_o judge_v to_o be_v error_n the_o thing_n he_o chief_o speak_v of_o be_v about_o free_a grace_n the_o nature_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o though_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o gain_v say_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o he_o speak_v yet_o for_o fear_n of_o those_o evil_a consequence_n that_o a_o carnal_a heart_n may_v draw_v from_o they_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o after_o some_o discourse_n in_o much_o opposition_n yet_o not_o bitter_a against_o he_o in_o the_o close_a he_o desire_v to_o lend_v i_o a_o book_n in_o which_o he_o say_v concern_v the_o thing_n he_o speak_v i_o may_v find_v better_a satisfaction_n than_o he_o can_v give_v be_v but_o weak_a in_o expression_n so_o i_o take_v it_o home_o with_o i_o but_o be_v much_o afraid_a of_o error_n i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o own_o spirit_n whether_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o or_o not_o but_o fear_v lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o shut_v my_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o this_o result_n that_o i_o will_v read_v it_o but_o first_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o what_o be_v truth_n in_o it_o i_o may_v embrace_v and_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v and_o preserve_v i_o from_o error_n which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o the_o book_n be_v to_o exalt_v god_n and_o lay_v low_a the_o creature_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o as_o also_o with_o some_o other_o particular_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n these_o minister_n who_o word_n be_v then_o as_o oracle_n to_o i_o do_v so_o much_o cry_v out_o against_o it_o charge_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o it_o be_v full_a of_o error_n of_o dangerous_a consequence_n that_o when_o i_o come_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o it_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n
mere_o by_o their_o word_n that_o i_o dare_v read_v it_o no_o further_o but_o send_v it_o home_o again_o resolve_v to_o stick_v to_o my_o old_a principle_n and_o so_o resolve_v i_o be_v that_o i_o judge_v it_o my_o duty_n and_o according_o do_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v escape_v that_o snare_n and_o stumble_a block_n which_o it_o be_v like_a to_o be_v to_o i_o till_o about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o these_o forementioned_a minister_n not_o be_v satisfy_v to_o speak_v against_o those_o book_n in_o private_a only_o but_o bring_v they_o into_o their_o pulpit_n read_v particular_a passage_n which_o as_o they_o read_v and_o apply_v it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o sense_n of_o it_o and_o sometime_o i_o think_v they_o speak_v more_o than_o be_v true_a which_o do_v occasion_v i_o to_o desire_v the_o book_n again_o for_o my_o better_a satisfaction_n but_o they_o not_o be_v allow_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o that_o time_n it_o be_v hard_a to_o get_v any_o of_o they_o but_o through_o mercy_n i_o get_v one_o and_o then_o i_o find_v they_o do_v not_o deal_v faithful_o but_o do_v wrest_v and_o draw_v false_a con_fw-mi sequence_n contrary_a to_o the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o it_o all_o which_o occasion_v serious_a thought_n in_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o first_o read_v it_o i_o lay_v it_o aside_o mere_o from_o a_o spirit_n of_o fear_n and_o prejudice_v occasion_v by_o their_o word_n and_o not_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o disprove_v it_o from_o scripture_n ground_n then_o remember_v those_o word_n of_o the_o apostle_n i_o thes_n 5._o 21._o try_v all_o thing_n and_o hold_v fast_o that_o which_o be_v good_a i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v aside_o all_o slavish_a fear_n and_o prejudice_n and_o to_o try_v it_o exact_o by_o the_o scripture_n believe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v god_n way_n to_o try_v so_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o in_o it_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v and_o as_o i_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v much_o affect_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v glad_a tiding_n and_o good_a news_n if_o it_o be_v true_a but_o i_o think_v it_o be_v too_o good_a to_o be_v true_a for_o i_o can_v not_o then_o believe_v that_o god_n be_v so_o free_a of_o his_o christ_n as_o to_o give_v he_o to_o any_o other_o sinner_n but_o to_o such_o as_o be_v qualify_v fit_v and_o prepare_v for_o he_o or_o that_o the_o way_n to_o glory_n be_v so_o easy_a as_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v it_o for_o if_o it_o be_v so_o than_o all_o that_o labour_n and_o travel_v which_o i_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n in_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n yield_v to_o at_o that_o time_n for_o as_o christ_n once_o say_v to_o the_o jew_n that_o publican_n and_o harlot_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n before_o they_o mat._n 21._o 31._o so_o true_o i_o find_v it_o so_o hard_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n according_a to_o rom._n 10._o 3._o that_o i_o be_v like_a to_o stick_v here_o when_o such_o as_o be_v more_o profane_a may_v receive_v the_o truth_n soon_o but_o serious_o weigh_v these_o with_o some_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n as_o rom._n 4._o 4._o and_o 5._o 8._o ephe._n 2._o through_o grace_n i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n convince_v and_o bring_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v be_v exceed_o mistake_v in_o my_o understanding_n and_o apply_v of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o whereas_o i_o think_v i_o have_v attain_v a_o good_a degree_n of_o knowledge_n i_o now_o see_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a and_o must_v begin_v again_o to_o learn_v the_o first_o principle_n of_o the_o oracle_n of_o god_n which_o to_o suffer_v so_o much_o loss_n be_v very_o hard_o to_o i_o at_o the_o first_o but_o god_n be_v please_v by_o degree_n to_o strip_v i_o of_o all_o and_o to_o show_v i_o such_o a_o beauty_n and_o excellency_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n above_o it_o that_o i_o be_v make_v not_o only_o willing_a but_o joyous_a to_o lay_v down_o all_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o apostle_n that_o what_o be_v gain_v to_o i_o i_o count_v loss_n for_o christ_n yea_o doubtless_o and_o i_o count_v all_o thing_n but_o loss_n for_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n jesus_n my_o lord_n for_o who_o i_o have_v suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o thing_n and_o do_v count_v they_o but_o dung_n that_o i_o may_v win_v christ_n and_o be_v find_v in_o he_o etc._n etc._n phil._n 3_o 7_o 8_o 9_o etc._n etc._n and_o as_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o be_v a_o prince_n and_o a_o saviour_n act_v 5._o 31._o and_o have_v choose_v he_o as_o the_o only_a excellent_a one_o in_o who_o he_o have_v place_v life_n and_o salvation_n for_o people_n mat._n 12._o 18._o so_o my_o soul_n do_v approve_v of_o it_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a way_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n he_o be_v the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o you_o he_o be_v one_o and_o there_o be_v not_o another_o cant._n 5._o 10._o act._n 4._o 12._o and_o the_o more_o i_o come_v to_o apprehend_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o the_o free_a tender_n and_o invitation_n of_o christ_n to_o sinner_n the_o more_o still_o i_o be_v affect_v with_o it_o and_o do_v admire_v it_o and_o see_v the_o tender_v of_o grace_n so_o free_a and_o the_o invitation_n so_o general_a that_o whosoever_o will_v come_v may_v come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o esay_n 55._o 1._o revel_v 22._o 17._o and_o that_o whosoever_o come_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_n out_o john_n 6._o 37._o by_o which_o word_n come_v i_o understand_v believe_v vers_fw-la 40._o and_o then_o consider_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n that_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n of_o grace_n free_a and_o without_o all_o condition_n on_o the_o creature_n part_n and_o that_o the_o condition_n stand_v only_o between_o god_n and_o christ_n as_o i_o then_o understand_v by_o these_o scripture_n esay_n 53._o 10._o psal_n 89._o through_o these_o consideration_n i_o be_v not_o only_o encourage_v but_o the_o abound_a love_n of_o christ_n do_v compel_v and_o constrain_v i_o to_o cast_v myself_o upon_o he_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n in_o a_o way_n of_o believe_v and_o not_o in_o a_o way_n of_o work_v and_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n as_o i_o desire_v never_o to_o forget_v it_o i_o do_v at_o this_o time_n receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o believe_v the_o free_a and_o full_a pardon_n of_o all_o my_o sin_n that_o god_n have_v lay_v they_o all_o upon_o christ_n and_o behold_v the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v esay_n 53._o 11._o and_o well_o please_v with_o i_o in_o he_o mat._n 3._o 17._o and_o that_o they_o be_v all_o carry_v into_o the_o wilderness_n of_o forgetfulness_n and_o bury_v in_o oblivion_n according_a to_o that_o type_n of_o christ_n levit._n 16._o 21_o 22._o and_o that_o they_o be_v wash_v away_o in_o his_o blood_n revel_v 1._o 5._o and_o that_o god_n will_v remember_v they_o no_o more_o heb._n 8._o 12._o and_o 10._o 17._o these_o scripture_n with_o some_o other_o of_o the_o like_a nature_n be_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n set_v home_o so_o powerful_o upon_o my_o heart_n at_o that_o time_n that_o true_o i_o can_v express_v the_o joyfulness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o my_o condition_n not_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v myself_o from_o call_v to_o other_o to_o tell_v they_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n how_o he_o have_v bring_v i_o out_o of_o bondage_n into_o the_o glorious_a liberty_n of_o adoption_n and_o fill_v i_o with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v yea_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 15._o 13._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o and_o i_o remember_v for_o a_o long_a time_n after_o i_o do_v delight_n to_o be_v almost_o continual_o speak_v or_o meditate_v of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o his_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n to_o poor_a sinner_n and_o to_o i_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n for_o i_o know_v more_o evil_a by_o myself_o than_o i_o do_v by_o any_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o can_v say_v as_o it_o be_v once_o say_v of_o the_o thessalonian_o the_o gosspel_n come_v not_o to_o i_o at_o that_o time_n in_o word_n only_o but_o in_o power_n and_o much_o assurance_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1_o thes_n 1._o 5._o and_o whereas_o former_o i_o think_v that_o to_o receive_v such_o a_o principle_n be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o be_v loose_a and_o carnal_a i_o do_v
the_o gospel_n this_o only_a as_o to_o possibility_n for_o ordinary_o it_o be_v not_o so_o but_o three_o by_o gospel_n qualification_n i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o gospel_n dictate_v from_o a_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n therein_o be_v constrain_v from_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n and_o in_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o authority_n of_o christ_n the_o soul_n give_v up_o itself_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o be_v like_o he_o such_o as_o be_v wrought_v by_o the_o gospel_n and_o spirit_n receive_v they_o and_o they_o only_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o as_o for_o those_o other_o qualification_n person_n that_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o gosspel_n and_o have_v not_o receive_v the_o spirit_n may_v be_v eminent_a in_o they_o which_o indeed_o for_o that_o they_o have_v such_o a_o resemblance_n of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v great_a ornament_n as_o to_o appearance_n though_o as_o to_o inward_a glory_n they_o do_v many_o time_n prove_v miserable_a ornament_n be_v prop_n and_o stay_n that_o keep_v such_o person_n from_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o pharisee_n mat._n 21._o 31._o publican_n and_o harlot_n do_v enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n rather_o than_o they_o and_o this_o i_o have_v experience_v that_o as_o to_o my_o receive_n christ_n upon_o gosspel_n term_n there_o be_v nothing_o so_o hard_a to_o i_o as_o to_o lay_v aside_o all_o those_o qualification_n as_o i_o have_v already_o express_v in_o my_o three_o and_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n now_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n what_o they_o be_v be_v express_v both_o in_o general_a and_o particular_a term_n in_o general_a ephes_n 5._o 9_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v in_o all_o goodness_n righteousness_n and_o truth_n more_o particular_o gal._n 5._o 22_o 23._o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v love_n joy_n peace_n long_o suffer_v gentleness_n goodness_n faith_n meekness_n temperance_n etc._n etc._n also_o there_o be_v other_o thing_n express_v in_o other_o term_n in_o scripture_n which_o doubtless_o be_v likewise_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n though_o i_o think_v with_o submission_n to_o better_a judgement_n all_o other_o be_v include_v in_o these_o whether_o it_o be_v self_n denial_n patience_n humility_n or_o the_o like_a these_o thing_n be_v excellent_a ornament_n which_o do_v adorn_v christian_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o man_n and_o do_v redound_v much_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o very_o considerable_a for_o saint_n to_o press_v after_o they_o by_o all_o mean_n i_o must_v confess_v that_o in_o the_o view_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v many_o time_n be_v much_o grieve_v to_o see_v how_o short_a i_o come_v in_o all_o these_o thing_n but_o especial_o in_o some_o of_o they_o yet_o through_o grace_n i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v receive_v a_o measure_n of_o they_o all_o and_o by_o experience_n do_v know_v if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o wherein_o i_o be_o weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a and_o though_o i_o be_o sure_a in_o those_o in_o which_o i_o be_o strong_a i_o be_o but_o weak_a consider_v how_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v now_o i_o shall_v speak_v a_o little_a how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v according_a to_o my_o experience_n and_o as_o i_o judge_v according_a to_o scripture_n rule_n these_o thing_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v in_o saint_n first_o i_o conceive_v they_o increase_v and_o be_v strengthen_v by_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n in_o all_o spiritual_a duty_n especial_o private_a duty_n meditation_n self-examination_n self-watching_a self-judging_a self-humbling_a and_o prayer_n which_o be_v indeed_o such_o duty_n as_o no_o hypocrite_n can_v true_o do_v not_o that_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v above_o public_a but_o that_o they_o prepare_v for_o public_a and_o by_o these_o we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o our_o own_o heart_n &_o come_v to_o know_v wherein_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a what_o we_o have_v receive_v and_o what_o we_o want_v and_o so_o how_o to_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n in_o public_a and_o private_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o such_o a_o corruption_n or_o for_o the_o supply_n of_o such_o or_o such_o a_o grace_n and_o this_o according_a to_o my_o experience_n as_o i_o have_v walk_v more_o or_o less_o close_a with_o god_n in_o these_o private_a duty_n so_o be_v my_o profit_n in_o public_a duty_n and_o my_o strength_n in_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n more_o or_o less_o and_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o such_o person_n as_o be_v stranger_n to_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v also_o stranger_n to_o their_o own_o heart_n and_o will_v not_o make_v any_o great_a progress_n in_o christianity_n for_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o these_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v exercise_v in_o thing_n contrary_a which_o do_v very_o much_o interrupt_v our_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o so_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o every_o grace_n in_o we_o or_o rather_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o grace_n in_o all_o its_o effect_n for_o these_o thing_n be_v not_o proper_o grace_n but_o the_o effect_n of_o grace_n which_o be_v various_a and_o so_o improper_o call_v grace_n as_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o humble_v ourselves_o before_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v subject_a to_o exalt_v ourselves_o before_o man_n and_o when_o we_o do_v not_o watch_v our_o own_o heart_n and_o judge_n ourselves_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v judge_v other_o and_o to_o watch_v over_o they_o in_o a_o evil_a way_n &_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o meditate_v on_o those_o excellent_a qualification_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n himself_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o see_v little_a loveliness_n in_o they_o and_o so_o have_v a_o light_a esteem_n of_o they_o not_o to_o press_v after_o they_o whereas_o we_o be_v to_o imitate_v he_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n according_a to_o mat._n 11._o 28_o 29._o but_o second_o the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v as_o we_o do_v more_o or_o less_o exercise_n that_o measure_n of_o they_o already_o receive_v and_o every_o particular_a grace_n be_v increase_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o itself_o and_o so_o by_o much_o exercise_n i_o mean_v by_o daily_a act_n they_o do_v as_o it_o be_v become_v natural_a as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o timotheus_n phi._n 2._o 20._o and_o the_o exercise_n of_o faith_n do_v direct_o lead_v we_o to_o the_o fountain_n of_o grace_n in_o behold_v of_o which_o glory_n of_o god_n we_o be_v change_v into_o the_o same_o image_n 1_o cor._n 3._o 18._o there_o be_v such_o a_o transform_a nature_n in_o it_o that_o the_o very_o behold_v of_o it_o transform_v we_o into_o the_o same_o likeness_n rom._n 12._o 2._o and_o i_o can_v true_o say_v from_o bless_a experience_n that_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o that_o measure_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v receive_v thus_o lead_v i_o to_o behold_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o i_o have_v find_v it_o more_o advantageous_a for_o the_o destroy_n of_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o strengthen_v i_o in_o those_o thing_n than_o in_o any_o other_o mean_n whatsoever_o and_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o person_n do_v sit_v a_o long_a time_n in_o the_o profession_n of_o truth_n and_o yet_o continue_v weak_a ignorant_a barren_a and_o fruitless_a branch_n it_o be_v because_o as_o they_o be_v remiss_a in_o private_a duty_n so_o they_o do_v not_o exercise_v that_o measure_n of_o grace_n receive_v and_o so_o by_o a_o heedless_a careless_a carnal_a walk_n the_o heart_n grow_v carnal_a and_o their_o be_v rather_o a_o decrease_n than_o increase_n in_o all_o spiritual_a strength_n but_o some_o will_v say_v can_v any_o do_v these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o and_o do_v not_o god_n give_v grace_n free_o both_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n to_o which_o i_o answer_v yea_o but_o in_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n we_o be_v passive_a i_o mean_v as_o to_o inward_a spiritual_a activity_n we_o can_v do_v nothing_o be_v dead_a according_a to_o ephes_n 2._o 1._o 2_o cor._n 5._o 14._o joh._n 5._o 25._o not_o exclude_v those_o duty_n which_o god_n require_v from_o all_o as_o hear_v the_o gospel_n read_v etc._n etc._n through_o which_o god_n have_v promise_v to_o convey_v spiritual_a life_n esay_n 55._o 3._o rom._n 10._o 17._o but_o after_o conversion_n we_o be_v active_a and_o therefore_o command_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n judas_n 12._o to_o add_v to_o our_o faith_n virtue_n to_o virtue_n knowledge_n etc._n etc._n 2_o pet._n 1._o 5._o with_o many_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n not_o that_o we_o be_v sufficient_a of_o ourselves_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n as_o of_o ourselves_o but_o our_o sufficiis_fw-la of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 3._o 5._o who_o be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o