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i_o i_o deserve_v to_o be_v bury_v alive_a for_o write_v such_o letter_n as_o those_o upon_o that_o i_o fall_v a_o blubber_a and_o plead_v for_o myself_o that_o i_o do_v not_o think_v there_o have_v be_v any_o harm_n in_o write_v after_o such_o a_o manner_n but_o she_o give_v i_o such_o a_o juniper_n lecture_n by_o way_n of_o answer_n as_o open_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o understanding_n and_o soon_o convince_v i_o of_o my_o error_n and_o i_o be_v so_o ashamed_a of_o what_o i_o have_v do_v that_o i_o begin_v from_o that_o very_a moment_n to_o have_v as_o great_a a_o aversion_n for_o blossac_n as_o
same_o condition_n that_o he_o give_v i_o to_o another_o i_o make_v no_o question_n but_o that_o he_o will_v accept_v '_o they_o i_o give_v this_o character_n of_o blossac_n because_o i_o love_v he_o and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o conceal_v from_o myself_o the_o affection_n i_o have_v for_o he_o i_o endeavour_v to_o persuade_v myself_o that_o the_o good_a quality_n which_o i_o conceit_a in_o he_o render_v he_o a_o person_n worthy_a of_o my_o love_n and_o judge_v of_o his_o sentiment_n by_o my_o own_o i_o imagine_v he_o will_v never_o refuse_v to_o obtain_v i_o at_o any_o rate_n whatever_o thus_o i_o forget_v the_o contempt_n of_o which_o i_o have_v till_o then_o accuse_v he_o and_o i_o have_v still_o the_o vanity_n to_o flatter_v myself_o that_o he_o will_v never_o have_v patient_o endure_v my_o be_v marry_v to_o another_o have_v he_o be_v inform_v of_o my_o destiny_n upon_o this_o i_o desire_v my_o father_n to_o let_v i_o write_v to_o he_o and_o to_o put_v off_o the_o wedding_n till_o i_o receive_v his_o answer_n but_o my_o father_n tell_v i_o i_o be_v a_o chicken_n to_o imagine_v that_o a_o man_n from_o who_o i_o have_v not_o hear_v in_o so_o long_a time_n will_v impair_v his_o estate_n to_o purchase_v a_o bedfellow_n yet_o such_o be_v still_o the_o vain_a hope_n wherewith_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o flatter_v myself_o in_o the_o succeed_a course_n of_o my_o life_n for_o i_o always_o have_v a_o good_a opinion_n of_o those_o that_o love_v i_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n my_o husband_n meet_v we_o with_o a_o magnificent_a train_n and_o then_o i_o must_v acknowledge_v he_o appear_v to_o i_o quite_o another_o thing_n then_o what_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v upon_o the_o road._n so_o that_o after_o i_o have_v for_o some_o time_n wist_o view_v and_o consider_v he_o i_o feel_v no_o far_a reluctancy_n to_o give_v he_o my_o hand_n and_o therefore_o make_v a_o virtue_n of_o necessity_n i_o resolve_v to_o make_v the_o best_a of_o my_o fortue_n we_o stay_v no_o long_o in_o the_o town_n 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be_v desirous_a that_o i_o shall_v approve_v his_o writing_n to_o my_o mother_n after_o that_o manner_n and_o that_o my_o be_v force_v from_o the_o nunnery_n shall_v be_v think_v a_o contrivance_n of_o my_o own_o and_o this_o be_v another_o blot_n upon_o my_o reputation_n and_o of_o which_o i_o too_o plain_o foresee_v the_o consequence_n for_o no_o body_n that_o see_v my_o father_n letter_n question_v the_o truth_n of_o my_o be_v steal_v by_o force_n and_o they_o as_o little_o doubt_v that_o it_o be_v my_o contrivance_n because_o they_o be_v ignorant_a that_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o my_o husband_n at_o that_o time_n beside_o my_o former_a inclination_n for_o blossac_n so_o well_o know_v render_v all_o that_o my_o father_n have_v write_v too_o probable_a to_o be_v deny_v nor_o be_v it_o any_o wonder_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v so_o much_o wit_n at_o sixteen_o year_n of_o age_n to_o manage_v a_o nuptial_a amour_n which_o be_v the_o only_a remedy_n i_o have_v to_o prevent_v my_o be_v lock_v up_o in_o a_o cloister_n thus_o it_o fall_v out_o that_o though_o i_o never_o deserve_v it_o i_o have_v all_o the_o honour_n or_o rather_o all_o the_o shame_n of_o this_o intrigue_n my_o wit_n be_v admire_v but_o people_n neither_o thought_n nor_o speak_v so_o well_o of_o my_o prudence_n and_o conduct_n the_o story_n of_o my_o be_v take_v by_o force_n out_o of_o a_o nunnery_n be_v the_o discourse_n of_o all_o paris_n for_o a_o long_a time_n and_o every_o body_n tell_v it_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n the_o idea_n that_o all_o person_n have_v of_o my_o wit_n and_o contrivance_n for_o the_o carry_v on_o of_o a_o amoros_n intriegue_n shelter_v my_o father_n from_o have_v any_o hand_n in_o it_o but_o the_o relation_n itself_o of_o the_o matter_n of_o fact_n be_v so_o remote_a from_o truth_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v deny_v it_o myself_o have_v i_o hear_v it_o repeat_v for_o there_o be_v no_o disguise_n which_o they_o do_v not_o make_v i_o put_v on_o to_o facilitate_v my_o escape_n out_o of_o the_o cloister_n insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v strange_o surprise_v to_o find_v that_o a_o certain_a author_n in_o a_o book_n wherein_o he_o have_v the_o goodness_n to_o name_v i_o shall_v presume_v to_o aver_v that_o i_o be_v disguise_v in_o man_n apparal_n and_o that_o i_o make_v my_o escape_n in_o a_o gardner_n clothes_n thus_o if_o there_o be_v but_o the_o least_o foundation_n for_o slander_n she_o believe_v herself_o full_o authorise_a to_o publish_v whatever_o malice_n dare_v invent_v and_o i_o be_o assure_v that_o so_o many_o scandalous_a story_n as_o be_v every_o day_n make_v upon_o person_n of_o my_o sex_n be_v only_o the_o effect_n of_o this_o malignity_n but_o it_o be_v too_o early_o yet_o to_o make_v reflection_n i_o have_v many_o other_o adventure_n to_o recount_v wherein_o you_o will_v find_v that_o slander_n have_v as_o little_o spare_v i_o though_o no_o more_o guilty_a then_o in_o this_o one_o of_o the_o first_o to_o who_o the_o story_n of_o my_o be_v force_v from_o the_o convent_n and_o my_o marriage_n be_v tell_v with_o all_o the_o most_o malicious_a circumstance_n that_o public_a report_n can_v embellish_v it_o withal_o be_v blossac_n which_o when_o he_o have_v hear_v he_o seem_v to_o repent_v his_o refuse_v to_o meet_v i_o at_o the_o time_n and_o place_n appoint_v for_o he_o have_v no_o other_o reason_n to_o forbear_v see_v i_o than_o the_o noise_n which_o our_o letter_n have_v make_v and_o not_o believe_v that_o be_v so_o young_a as_o i_o be_v i_o can_v have_v discretion_n and_o conduct_n enough_o to_o make_v use_n of_o all_o the_o mean_n and_o opportunity_n that_o may_v present_v themselves_o to_o favour_v our_o private_a meeting_n he_o resolve_v to_o stay_v till_o i_o have_v more_o judgement_n and_o beside_o he_o be_v not_o well_o satisfy_v with_o i_o because_o he_o still_o conceit_v it_o be_v i_o who_o have_v inform_v the_o abbess_n of_o our_o private_a amour_n at_o least_o it_o be_v this_o that_o he_o tell_v i_o in_o excuse_n of_o himself_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o persuade_v by_o what_o happen_v after_o that_o that_o from_o the_o time_n of_o those_o report_n he_o cease_v to_o love_v i_o and_o that_o his_o flame_n do_v not_o re-kindle_a till_o the_o noise_n of_o my_o be_v force_v from_o the_o convent_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v not_o so_o much_o a_o child_n as_o he_o take_v i_o to_o be_v however_o it_o be_v when_o he_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v marry_v to_o a_o person_n much_o below_o he_o in_o quality_n and_o inferior_a to_o he_o in_o estate_n he_o resolve_v to_o find_v i_o out_o not_o able_a to_o forget_v in_o what_o a_o passionate_a manner_n former_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o breathe_v into_o his_o amorous_a breast_n my_o vow_n and_o resolution_n to_o be_v always_o he_o nor_o be_v it_o a_o unusual_a thing_n for_o he_o to_o visit_v the_o province_n where_o my_o residence_n be_v because_o his_o grandfather_n have_v be_v governor_n of_o it_o and_o for_o that_o the_o gentry_n of_o the_o country_n have_v a_o great_a value_n for_o his_o respect_n and_o name_n book_n the_o second_o while_o blossac_n be_v meditate_v the_o recovery_n of_o my_o affection_n i_o be_v whole_o take_v up_o with_o the_o care_n of_o please_v my_o husband_n i_o think_v i_o love_v no_o body_n but_o he_o though_o in_o truth_n i_o can_v make_v daily_a discovery_n as_o well_o in_o his_o disposition_n as_o in_o his_o person_n of_o those_o defect_n which_o in_o some_o measure_n stagger_v my_o inclination_n he_o be_v a_o man_n natural_o give_v to_o debauchery_n and_o one_o who_o prefer_v wine_n and_o good_a cheer_v before_o all_o other_o pleasure_n
he_o will_v be_v frequent_o fuddle_v and_o in_o that_o condition_n he_o be_v very_o offensive_a and_o disoblige_v in_o his_o language_n he_o will_v be_v still_o upbraid_v i_o that_o instead_o of_o bring_v he_o a_o portion_n i_o have_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o make_v he_o part_n with_o some_o of_o his_o choice_a acre_n and_o this_o reproach_n he_o will_v usual_o throw_v upon_o i_o in_o public_a all_o people_n blame_v he_o and_o take_v my_o part_n at_o those_o time_n but_o there_o be_v no_o alteration_n it_o be_v not_o a_o injury_n that_o be_v offer_v i_o now_o and_o then_o nevertheless_o i_o dissemble_v it_o so_o well_o that_o i_o give_v he_o not_o the_o least_o occasion_n to_o accuse_v i_o of_o fail_v in_o my_o complacency_n and_o respect_n for_o he_o i_o lead_v a_o life_n in_o the_o country_n very_o retire_v have_v only_o the_o society_n of_o one_o gentleman_n that_o live_v in_o the_o neighbourhood_n a_o person_n of_o wit_n and_o learning_n this_o be_v mâ—de_v balzac_n he_o bring_v i_o to_o love_n reading_n and_o study_n and_o by_o his_o advice_n i_o apply_v myself_o to_o read_v more_o solid_a and_o substantial_a author_n than_o any_o i_o have_v hitherto_o know_v i_o find_v myself_o also_o well_o incline_v to_o learn_v the_o language_n and_o to_o write_v with_o more_o exactness_n than_o the_o generality_n of_o woman_n this_o be_v both_o a_o diversion_n to_o i_o and_o procure_v i_o much_o honour_n in_o the_o province_n so_o that_o i_o become_v a_o umpress_n among_o the_o wit_n and_o judge_n of_o their_o work_n now_o receive_v so_o many_o verse_n every_o day_n as_o i_o do_v it_o may_v well_o be_v think_v that_o they_o be_v send_v i_o compose_v in_o my_o praise_n and_o among_o sparkle_v wit_n i_o will_v assure_v you_o there_o be_v some_o that_o make_v love_n to_o i_o in_o verse_n but_o i_o receive_v nothing_o from_o their_o hand_n with_o which_o i_o do_v not_o make_v my_o husband_n acquaint_v nor_o do_v i_o perceive_v that_o he_o have_v any_o inclination_n to_o jealousy_n but_o i_o do_v not_o long_o enjoy_v this_o repose_n some_o body_n inform_v he_o that_o before_o i_o be_v twelve_o year_n of_o age_n i_o have_v write_v amorous_a letter_n to_o blossac_n which_o have_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o noise_n which_o make_v he_o believe_v that_o have_v discover_v such_o a_o early_a inclination_n to_o love_n i_o must_v needs_o retain_v it_o still_o and_o be_v moreover_o conscious_a of_o his_o ill_a usage_n of_o 〈◊〉_d a_o conceit_n come_v into_o his_o head_n that_o i_o can_v not_o love_v he_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v have_v a_o amorous_a intriegue_n elsewhere_o nor_o be_v it_o long_o before_o he_o know_v of_o who_o it_o be_v that_o it_o behove_v he_o to_o be_v jealous_a blossac_n be_v come_v into_o the_o province_n with_o some_o of_o his_o friend_n and_o present_o they_o come_v all_o together_o to_o pay_v i_o a_o visit._n i_o be_v alone_o in_o the_o castle_n but_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o express_v in_o what_o a_o strange_a disorder_n all_o the_o motion_n of_o my_o body_n be_v when_o i_o behold_v the_o man_n who_o once_o have_v be_v so_o dear_a to_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n he_o seem_v to_o i_o no_o less_o embarrassed_a than_o myself_o after_o the_o first_o compliment_n his_o friend_n commend_v the_o situation_n and_o beauty_n of_o the_o castle_n and_o desire_v to_o see_v the_o apartiment_n which_o while_o they_o be_v do_v blossac_n make_v a_o dextrous_a escape_n from_o his_o friend_n and_o have_v find_v a_o way_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o private_a he_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v in_o the_o most_o tender_a expression_n in_o the_o world_n that_o he_o have_v always_o love_v i_o and_o that_o i_o can_v not_o in_o justice_n deprive_v he_o of_o a_o heart_n which_o i_o have_v former_o give_v he_o but_o i_o have_v still_o so_o much_o power_n leave_v as_o to_o conjure_v he_o never_o to_o think_v more_o of_o i_o at_o least_o never_o to_o make_v i_o any_o more_o visit_n nor_o do_v i_o forget_v to_o forbid_v 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out_o of_o a_o humour_n to_o please_v himself_o by_o cross_v my_o husband_n but_o all_o the_o time_n we_o sit_v chat_a together_o he_o will_v still_o be_v tell_v he_o that_o i_o be_v the_o most_o beautiful_a woman_n that_o ever_o he_o behold_v in_o his_o life_n and_o frank_o confess_v that_o he_o will_v make_v love_n to_o i_o but_o that_o i_o live_v in_o a_o province_n so_o remote_a however_o because_o what_o sauveboeuf_n prattle_v be_v only_o in_o jest_n my_o husband_n take_v no_o offence_n at_o it_o so_o that_o when_o i_o see_v that_o my_o husband_n seem_v so_o well_o to_o understand_v ralliery_a to_o remove_v that_o jealousy_n which_o he_o have_v of_o blossac_n i_o resolve_v though_o very_o imprudent_o to_o bestow_v the_o main_a of_o my_o civility_n upon_o sauveboeuf_n and_o seem_v desirous_a to_o please_v he_o wherein_o i_o do_v very_o unadvised_o for_o blossac_n grow_v jealous_a of_o it_o my_o husband_n suspicion_n be_v thereby_o confirm_v sauveboeuf_n love_v i_o in_o earnest_n and_o all_o three_o take_v i_o for_o the_o arrant_a cocquet_n in_o nature_n after_o our_o company_n have_v leave_v we_o my_o husband_n no_o long_o put_v any_o constraint_n upon_o himself_o but_o begin_v to_o reproach_v i_o with_o what_o i_o have_v former_o do_v for_o blossac_n and_o with_o what_o i_o have_v now_o do_v for_o sauveboeuf_n he_o swear_v he_o will_v not_o be_v the_o cully_n of_o my_o amour_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o stir_v out_o of_o the_o castle_n some_o day_n after_o he_o make_v a_o show_n of_o have_v intercept_v one_o of_o blossac_n letter_n which_o confirm_v his_o suspicion_n he_o have_v be_v so_o cunning_o malicious_a as_o to_o compose_v the_o letter_n himself_o but_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o think_v of_o it_o for_o indeed_o notwithstanding_o the_o injunction_n i_o have_v lay_v upon_o blossac_n not_o to_o write_v to_o i_o i_o be_v afraid_a lest_o he_o may_v have_v venture_v a_o letter_n and_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o strange_a labyrinth_n and_o here_o i_o will_v aver_v it_o with_o the_o same_o sincerity_n with_o which_o i_o purpose_v to_o write_v these_o memoir_n that_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o what_o the_o jealousy_n of_o my_o husband_n cause_v i_o to_o fear_v that_o busy_v most_o my_o thought_n in_o the_o sad_a reflection_n which_o i_o make_v upon_o my_o destiny_n as_o the_o consequence_n of_o a_o amour_n of_o which_o i_o have_v former_o be_v sensible_a and_o which_o have_v then_o get_v the_o mastery_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o be_v more_o please_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v belove_v by_o blossac_n than_o i_o be_v afraid_a of_o my_o husband_n resentment_n i_o pardon_v blossac_n also_o for_o his_o imprudence_n in_o write_v to_o i_o and_o last_o whatever_o seem_v to_o assure_v i_o of_o his_o fidelity_n make_v a_o deep_a impression_n upon_o i_o than_o all_o the_o danger_n to_o which_o he_o expose_v i_o nevertheless_o i_o will_v say_v thus_o much_o more_o with_o the_o same_o sincerity_n that_o i_o have_v no_o design_n in_o all_o this_o contrary_a to_o my_o duty_n i_o be_v also_o prepare_v to_o suffer_v whatever_o my_o husband_n shall_v inflict_v upon_o i_o nor_o do_v i_o hope_v for_o any_o other_o happiness_n then_o to_o observe_v a_o blind_a obedience_n to_o his_o humour_n and_o to_o foster_v at_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o secret_a pleasure_n of_o love_v another_o with_o so_o much_o the_o more_o fidelity_n because_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o yield_v nothing_o to_o my_o passion_n what_o a_o example_n of_o virtue_n shall_v i_o have_v be_v have_v i_o have_v a_o husband_n endue_v with_o great_a prudence_n but_o he_o spare_v i_o so_o little_a and_o take_v so_o much_o care_n to_o cry_v i_o down_o
some_o out_o of_o interest_n other_o because_o they_o will_v not_o give_v themselves_o the_o trouble_n to_o let_v i_o see_v the_o inconvenience_n of_o a_o design_n wherein_o i_o run_v the_o hazard_n of_o ill_a success_n and_o indeed_o there_o be_v few_o real_a friend_n that_o know_v how_o to_o give_v woman_n those_o counsel_n which_o be_v most_o agreeable_a to_o their_o real_a exigency_n there_o be_v no_o body_n but_o mrs._n laval_n who_o think_v it_o unfriendly_a to_o flatter_v i_o she_o tell_v i_o every_o day_n that_o i_o can_v not_o take_v a_o more_o honourable_a course_n then_o to_o live_v with_o my_o husband_n and_o insist_v that_o it_o behove_v i_o at_o least_o to_o hear_v the_o advantageous_a offer_n which_o he_o make_v i_o but_o i_o be_v not_o then_o in_o a_o condition_n to_o relish_v the_o solid_a reason_n with_o which_o she_o support_v her_o wholesome_a advice_n the_o ill_a usuge_n which_o so_o good_a a_o woman_n daily_o suffer_v from_o her_o husband_n make_v i_o afraid_a of_o the_o like_a from_o i_o i_o have_v not_o as_o yet_o learn_v the_o lesson_n she_o have_v do_v that_o the_o reputation_n of_o a_o woman_n be_v never_o secure_a when_o she_o live_v asunder_o from_o he_o who_o god_n have_v once_o unite_v to_o she_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v happy_a if_o i_o can_v obtain_v a_o separation_n and_o this_o be_v that_o which_o i_o only_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o labour_v for_o st._n albeit_o have_v still_o recourse_n to_o i_o under_o the_o oppression_n of_o his_o father_n nor_o can_v i_o deny_v but_o that_o the_o respect_n with_o which_o he_o always_o accompany_v his_o passion_n for_o i_o make_v i_o very_o desirous_a to_o be_v serviceable_a to_o he_o i_o impute_v all_o his_o father_n be_v ill_a usage_n of_o he_o to_o myself_o i_o be_v move_v that_o he_o shall_v so_o long_o disguise_v himself_o for_o my_o sake_n and_o moreover_o i_o pardon_v he_o all_o report_n to_o which_o he_o have_v expose_v i_o in_o favour_n of_o the_o please_a vengeance_n which_o he_o have_v give_v i_o the_o occasion_n to_o take_v upon_o his_o father_n importunity_n i_o be_v also_o good-natured_a and_o tho_o as_o yet_o i_o feâ—â—â—o_v motion_n of_o affection_n for_o he_o however_o i_o have_v too_o â—â—â—t_a a_o esteem_n for_o his_o person_n to_o refuse_v he_o whatever_o i_o can_v in_o civility_n contribute_v towards_o the_o make_n of_o his_o life_n less_o miserable_a to_o sum_v up_o all_o in_o a_o word_n i_o do_v not_o think_v it_o be_v a_o crime_n in_o he_o to_o love_v i_o and_o i_o think_v that_o a_o amour_n which_o be_v no_o way_n offensive_a to_o i_o can_v be_v no_o inducement_n to_o hinder_v i_o from_o do_v that_o which_o i_o will_v have_v do_v out_o of_o generosity_n thereupon_o i_o speak_v to_o madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n in_o his_o favour_n lay_v before_o her_o the_o sad_a condition_n of_o the_o young_a gentleman_n and_o beg_v of_o she_o to_o make_v use_n of_o her_o credit_n in_o his_o behalf_n she_o be_v well_o please_v that_o i_o take_v his_o part_n however_o at_o the_o same_o time_n she_o make_v i_o sensible_a that_o it_o will_v be_v another_o blot_n upon_o my_o reputation_n shall_v it_o be_v know_v that_o i_o have_v any_o hand_n in_o serve_v he_o which_o make_v i_o request_v she_o to_o procure_v st._n albe_n liberty_n yet_o so_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v see_v in_o the_o business_n in_o short_a madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n speak_v to_o monsieur_n the_o prince_n who_o obtain_v a_o order_n for_o his_o release_n and_o at_o the_o same_o time_n procure_v he_o a_o employment_n in_o the_o army_n better_o than_o that_o which_o he_o have_v before_o it_o be_v present_o the_o public_a opinion_n that_o madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n have_v never_o procure_v st._n albe_n liberty_n have_v it_o not_o be_v at_o my_o request_n but_o give_v i_o leave_v to_o question_v whether_o i_o be_v to_o be_v blame_v for_o concern_v myself_o in_o his_o behalf_n the_o delicacy_n which_o i_o owe_v my_o reputation_n do_v not_o require_v i_o to_o be_v insensible_a of_o the_o misfortune_n of_o a_o person_n who_o for_o his_o merit_n and_o his_o youth_n be_v worthy_a of_o compassion_n there_o be_v not_o any_o body_n but_o myself_o to_o who_o he_o can_v have_v recourse_n and_o i_o never_o repent_v of_o the_o service_n i_o do_v he_o whatever_o occasion_n afterward_o it_o give_v to_o be_v object_v against_o i_o as_o a_o crime_n it_o have_v be_v a_o great_a piece_n of_o cruelty_n to_o have_v abandon_v st._n albeit_o in_o that_o deplorable_a condition_n wherein_o he_o be_v especial_o when_o it_o be_v in_o my_o power_n to_o relieve_v he_o how_o careful_a soever_o a_o woman_n ought_v to_o be_v of_o her_o honour_n i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o it_o be_v lawful_a for_o she_o to_o do_v a_o good_a action_n and_o when_o a_o woman_n be_v defame_v upon_o those_o account_n she_o be_v only_o to_o complain_v of_o certain_a unhappy_a circumstance_n that_o sometime_o will_v not_o suffer_v woman_n to_o do_v good_a action_n unpunished_a so_o soon_o as_o st._n albeit_o be_v get_v safe_a out_o of_o his_o father_n clutch_n by_o the_o credit_n of_o monsieur_n the_o prince_n public_a rumour_n give_v it_o out_o more_o than_o ever_o to_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o the_o love_n that_o be_v between_o we_o this_o be_v what_o his_o father_n spread_v abroad_o in_o all_o company_n and_o montalzac_n be_v no_o less_o diligent_a to_o inform_v my_o husband_n of_o the_o common_a report_n which_o oblige_v i_o to_o a_o steady_a resolution_n never_o to_o see_v st._n albeit_o more_o and_o though_o i_o do_v not_o think_v i_o have_v deserve_v any_o thing_n of_o reproach_n for_o have_v procure_v his_o liberty_n yet_o i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o avoid_v a_o sort_n of_o visit_n which_o will_v have_v draw_v a_o scandal_n upon_o i_o with_o much_o more_o justice_n but_o st._n albeit_o have_v a_o heart_n as_o generous_a as_o myself_o and_o as_o the_o injury_n that_o i_o may_v do_v myself_o in_o act_v for_o he_o have_v not_o hinder_v i_o from_o be_v serviceable_a to_o he_o he_o on_o his_o side_n can_v not_o believe_v that_o the_o wrong_n which_o his_o gratitude_n may_v do_v i_o be_v a_o sufficient_a obstacle_n to_o hinder_v he_o from_o show_v it_o he_o thereforefore_o several_a time_n by_o the_o solicitation_n of_o other_o beg_v the_o favour_n of_o admit_v he_o but_o to_o one_o single_a visit_n but_o find_v i_o obstinate_a in_o my_o denial_n he_o resolve_v to_o see_v i_o whatever_o it_o cost_v he_o it_o be_v true_a i_o have_v better_o have_v give_v he_o admission_n at_o first_o without_o so_o much_o opposition_n but_o my_o nicety_n prove_v prejudicial_a to_o i_o upon_o this_o occasion_n at_o the_o same_o time_n madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n go_v to_o her_o signiory_n of_o marlou_n whither_o i_o accompany_v she_o and_o where_o the_o abbot_n fouquet_n come_v often_o to_o visit_v we_o certain_a it_o be_v that_o madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n will_v never_o have_v suffer_v his_o assiduity_n but_o because_o she_o be_v unwilling_a to_o displease_v a_o man_n who_o have_v too_o much_o credit_n at_o court_n which_o be_v a_o argument_n that_o she_o be_v not_o so_o guilty_a of_o coquetry_n as_o a_o scandalous_a memoir_n will_v make_v she_o she_o be_v always_o convince_v since_o the_o adventure_n of_o his_o lodging_n that_o the_o abbot_n have_v a_o kindness_n for_o i_o which_o be_v the_o reason_n perhaps_o that_o she_o carry_v i_o along_o with_o she_o to_o marlou_n in_o hope_n that_o the_o abbot_n will_v be_v more_o than_o ever_o my_o servant_n or_o at_o least_o that_o she_o may_v put_v upon_o my_o account_n the_o frequent_a journney_n that_o he_o make_v to_o marlou_n i_o conjecture_v her_o design_n but_o i_o be_v so_o high_o behold_v to_o she_o that_o i_o be_v willing_a for_o her_o sake_n to_o expose_v myself_o to_o whatever_o can_v be_v say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o think_v i_o have_v reason_n to_o do_v as_o i_o do_v there_o be_v certain_a obligation_n that_o will_v never_o permit_v we_o to_o be_v ungrateful_a and_o i_o shall_v have_v think_v it_o a_o ridiculous_a piece_n of_o niceness_n to_o have_v oppose_v madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n design_n i_o think_v it_o sufficient_a if_o i_o do_v not_o contribute_v by_o my_o ill_a conduct_n to_o the_o sinister_a construction_n which_o the_o journey_n may_v produce_v if_o at_o least_o such_o complacency_n may_v be_v allow_v of_o without_o reproach_n in_o a_o word_n i_o set_v myself_o above_o all_o scruple_n these_o be_v also_o circumstance_n which_o it_o be_v troublesome_a for_o a_o woman_n to_o be_v engage_v in_o and_o where_o a_o woman_n can_v do_v a_o good_a action_n without_o lose_v something_o of_o her_o honour_n but_o what_o must_v she_o do_v she_o must_v either_o
renounce_v the_o world_n for_o good_a andall_n or_o else_o resolve_v to_o meet_v with_o these_o inconvenience_n sometime_o book_n the_o four_o while_o we_o stay_v at_o marlou_n the_o lord_n digby_n who_o have_v hire_v a_o house_n in_o the_o neighbourhood_n think_v himself_o oblige_v to_o pay_v a_o visit_n to_o madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n but_o this_o visit_n be_v attend_v by_o so_o many_o other_o that_o present_o a_o report_n be_v spread_v about_o that_o my_o lord_n be_v in_o love_n with_o she_o nor_o be_v she_o sorry_a it_o shall_v be_v imagine_v that_o my_o lord_n bend_v all_o his_o assiduity_n to_o she_o for_o than_o she_o be_v in_o hope_n it_o will_v not_o be_v noise_v about_o that_o she_o have_v any_o kindness_n for_o abbot_n fouquet_n when_o she_o hearken_v to_o another_o the_o abbot_n at_o his_o first_o come_v to_o marlou_n say_v nothing_o to_o i_o that_o seem_v to_o make_v i_o any_o way_n the_o object_n of_o his_o thought_n but_o so_o soon_o as_o he_o perceive_v that_o my_o lord_n be_v in_o love_n with_o madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n he_o be_v desirous_a to_o try_v whether_o she_o will_v not_o discover_v some_o effect_n of_o her_o jealousy_n i_o understand_v his_o intention_n by_o the_o continual_a complaint_n he_o make_v of_o she_o to_o myself_o and_o it_o may_v be_v well_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v no_o desire_n to_o comply_v with_o his_o feign_a affection_n for_o i_o but_o the_o more_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o answer_n the_o more_o i_o imagine_v it_o may_v be_v lawful_a for_o i_o to_o carry_v myself_o civil_o towards_o he_o this_o engage_v he_o far_o than_o i_o intend_v and_o thing_n come_v to_o that_o pass_n that_o i_o think_v myself_o assure_v that_o he_o love_v i_o real_o i_o resolve_v therefore_o not_o to_o keep_v he_o in_o suspense_n for_o i_o tell_v he_o plain_o that_o all_o his_o pain_n will_v be_v in_o vain_a but_o then_o i_o find_v by_o experience_n that_o a_o woman_n hazard_v her_o reputation_n no_o less_o by_o give_v mark_n of_o a_o passion_n of_o which_o she_o be_v not_o at_o all_o sensible_a then_o in_o declare_v a_o absolute_a aversion_n the_o abbot_n tell_v i_o he_o wonder_v i_o make_v no_o better_a use_n of_o his_o kindness_n since_o it_o be_v in_o his_o power_n to_o do_v i_o a_o injury_n by_o discover_v my_o private_a familiarity_n with_o one_o of_o my_o lord_n be_v domestic_a servant_n those_o word_n surprise_v i_o and_o i_o desire_v he_o to_o interpret_v his_o meaning_n which_o he_o refuse_v to_o do_v but_o fling_v out_o of_o the_o room_n full_a of_o despite_n and_o anger_n a_o little_a while_n after_o i_o be_v go_v to_o inform_v madam_n de_fw-fr chatillon_n of_o what_o have_v pass_v but_o she_o interrupt_v i_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o be_v a_o fool_n and_o run_v the_o hazard_n of_o ruine_v myself_o past_o all_o redemption_n that_o it_o be_v know_v that_o st._n albeit_o be_v with_o i_o every_o day_n and_o that_o to_o the_o end_n we_o may_v see_v one_o another_o with_o more_o convenience_n i_o have_v 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upon_o my_o reputation_n i_o shall_v have_v be_v more_o studious_a of_o outward_a appearance_n have_v my_o desire_n be_v more_o irregular_a but_o hypocrisy_n and_o grimace_n seem_v to_o i_o the_o most_o unworthy_a of_o all_o vice_n i_o be_v ignorant_a how_o much_o people_n have_v need_n of_o they_o in_o their_o conversation_n in_o this_o world_n i_o meet_v in_o the_o province_n a_o lady_n who_o misfortune_n have_v render_v she_o no_o less_o illustrious_a than_o myself_o and_o because_o i_o undertake_v to_o write_v these_o memoirs_fw-fr for_o no_o other_o reason_n then_o to_o prove_v that_o people_n be_v frequent_o
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to_o please_v he_o the_o marquis_n of_o fleuri_n be_v jealous_a of_o the_o same_o thing_n and_o be_v mortal_o perplex_v at_o it_o but_o whether_o it_o be_v to_o make_v himself_o amend_v for_o his_o loss_n or_o to_o be_v revenge_v upon_o his_o rival_n he_o make_v all_o his_o application_n to_o a_o person_n for_o who_o the_o duke_n seem_v to_o have_v a_o very_a great_a affection_n this_o be_v a_o young_a lady_n of_o bretagne_n who_o name_n and_o adventure_n be_v know_v to_o all_o the_o world_n so_o that_o when_o i_o have_v take_v a_o journey_n into_o savoy_n for_o the_o sake_n only_o of_o the_o marquis_n of_o fleuri_n he_o be_v labour_v to_o forget_v i_o and_o love_v another_o i_o spare_v for_o nothing_o of_o bravery_n to_o make_v a_o show_n wherein_o i_o follow_v my_o natural_a inclination_n to_o luster_n and_o expense_n this_o make_v a_o cry_n at_o court_n that_o all_o my_o finery_n be_v at_o the_o duke_n charge_n and_o the_o marquis_n be_v carry_v away_o with_o the_o common_a opinion_n and_o this_o opinion_n advance_v his_o affair_n with_o his_o mistress_n for_o a_o fancy_n take_v she_o in_o the_o head_n that_o the_o duke_n of_o savoy_n have_v a_o affection_n for_o i_o and_o judge_v by_o the_o present_a what_o he_o may_v hereafter_o do_v for_o i_o she_o listen_v to_o the_o marquis_n of_o fleuris_n address_n i_o undeceive_v her_o royal_a highness_n who_o have_v suffer_v herself_o to_o be_v prepossess_v as_o well_o as_o other_o and_o give_v she_o a_o faithful_a account_n of_o what_o have_v pass_v between_o the_o duke_n and_o myself_o my_o sincerity_n please_v she_o and_o she_o be_v please_v to_o honour_v i_o with_o her_o friendship_n my_o heart_n however_o can_v not_o be_v at_o rest_n the_o marquis_n of_o fleury_n seem_v to_o shun_v i_o in_o all_o place_n i_o know_v of_o his_o intriegue_n with_o the_o lady_n of_o bretagne_n nor_o be_v the_o duke_n of_o savoy_n ignorant_a of_o it_o one_o day_n also_o discourse_v with_o i_o about_o it_o he_o tell_v i_o i_o be_v 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he_o can_v not_o but_o observe_v that_o i_o have_v little_a kindness_n for_o the_o duke_n and_o the_o love_n which_o he_o have_v once_o have_v for_o i_o and_o which_o be_v not_o quite_o extinguish_v make_v he_o keep_v a_o strict_a watch_n upon_o the_o motion_n of_o that_o prince_n and_o he_o perceive_v that_o the_o duke_n be_v ill_o satisfy_v with_o i_o and_o that_o i_o avoid_v he_o with_o care_n this_o be_v the_o reason_n that_o he_o forbear_v to_o shun_v i_o and_o that_o i_o have_v a_o sudden_a opportunity_n to_o discourse_v he_o he_o talk_v to_o i_o of_o his_o suspicion_n i_o undeceive_v he_o and_o
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to_o divert_v he_o and_o in_o regard_n that_o velley_n be_v a_o jolly-man_n i_o desire_v his_o conversation_n but_o i_o find_v that_o his_o company_n rather_o augment_v then_o lessen_v my_o husband_n disturbance_n only_o methinks_v that_o mademoiselle_n the_o velley_n appearance_n give_v he_o some_o relief_n this_o begin_v to_o create_v disturbance_n within_o i_o of_o another_o nature_n i_o feel_v suspicion_n and_o jealousy_n brood_v in_o my_o breast_n but_o than_o think_v i_o to_o myself_o if_o he_o love_v mademoiselle_n de_fw-fr velley_n wherefore_o do_v his_o love_n make_v he_o sick_a since_o he_o see_v she_o every_o day_n and_o she_o if_o i_o mistake_v not_o no_o way_n seem_v displease_v with_o his_o company_n it_o must_v be_v doubtless_o then_o remorse_n of_o conscience_n for_o be_v thus_o perfidious_a to_o i_o and_o he_o seek_v to_o punish_v himself_o for_o his_o falseness_n in_o love_v another_o i_o have_v so_o good_a a_o opinion_n of_o he_o that_o i_o make_v no_o question_n 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prince_n who_o for_o above_o these_o two_o year_n have_v have_v so_o great_a a_o passion_n for_o you_o which_o have_v make_v he_o forget_v his_o quality_n that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o honour_n of_o see_v you_o i_o be_o the_o duke_n of_o savoy_n but_o i_o do_v not_o ground_v my_o hope_n of_o gain_v your_o favour_n so_o much_o upon_o my_o quality_n as_o upon_o the_o most_o tender_a and_o passionate_a love_n that_o ever_o be_v pledge_v to_o womankind_n while_o he_o be_v thus_o talk_v to_o i_o i_o keep_v my_o eye_n attentive_o fix_v upon_o he_o a_o sort_n of_o surprise_v which_o he_o perceive_v and_o afraid_a lest_o i_o shall_v interrupt_v he_o though_o it_o be_v only_o to_o show_v the_o astonishment_n i_o be_v in_o he_o earnest_o desire_v i_o not_o to_o disclose_v it_o to_o other_o that_o he_o have_v discover_v himself_o and_o after_o a_o world_n of_o amorous_a ejaculation_n he_o press_v i_o to_o tell_v he_o what_o impression_n they_o have_v make_v upon_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o be_v 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