that ever her saw felt or understood so that Shinkin may enjoy and possesse all hâ—r grounds and arables and all her other commodities her will not say coneys though if Maudlin would be so pleased her would convert her self into any shapes and figures and for her sake become a Warriner in greene with a long staffe on her shoulder so that sweete Maudlin would be the parke and the coney for then her would be the cunny-catcher Her crave pardon for her boldnesse and if her tongue have thrown out any rash or lewd languages her will plead her cause in kisses and from Mrs. Maudlins sweet lips obtaine a sealed pardon which her could hardly obtaine if her should come before her Welch Judges for felonies Thus her will give away all her hath and her selfe and all about her and make her selfe as poor as any Brittaine in Wales that her may purchase the Love and affections of her dearest Maudlinâ— give her therefore her pray you some good kind answers that may comfort her despayrinng hearts as much as her own Country metheglin doth Maudlins scoffing reply to his great promises and protestations with some other jests GOod Shinkin I must desire you not to bee offended if I compare your long speech unto your high mountains the one is barren of grasse the other without wit or sence your promises are as long as your Welch miles you know not what occasion maids have sometimes to step out into a corner and if I were not a Virgin your long Orations would put me to much extreamity your houses in Wales as I said before are nothing I beleeve but castles in the ayre and they smell so strong of leekes and toasted cheese that the scent thereof would make me loath all your pig-houses And though your Welch Nâ—ggs be beasts of better carriage then yourselfe you shall not cary me like a cloake-bag behind you and your welch Naggs are so small of stature the people seeing us ride through Country Towns would thinke we rode double upon a hobby-horse And for your conies keep them you have for you are like to get no more of me though I beleeve you are an arrant cunny-catcher therefore my answer is and must be I cannot love you Shinkin uses many other arguments and good sound reasons to perswade Maudlin to love her and joyne with her in Matrimony HOw cannot her love Shinkin call backe that word agâ—ine lest it make her madde and out of her wits because her cannot obtain her desires in her affections Pray tell her Maudlin what was hinder her approbations and good wills to Shinkin was her not born a Shentleman by many hundred descenâ—s and derive her pedigrees from Adam beyond too and doth her not bear her Schutchions charged with three woodcocks to denote and signifie the great wisedome of her families and Progenitors from her Fore-fathers and Fore-mothers and therefore if Maudlin would be pleased to joyn with her in matrimonies her could not disparage her selfe but her should bring her a great deale of posterities of her owne begetting which should bee all Shentlemen of Wales after her decease and her assure you Maudlin there was great differences betweene rude Cotidons and clownes and her Shentleman of Wales for Shinkin though her say it and may sweare it was bred up in all good educations qualities as well as her best Gentries her can dance in as good measures and fashions and cut capers three yards above ground by the magnanimities and agilities of her strong back and was take her Welch harp between her leggs and play thereon such sweet Dittyes and madrigalls and true lessons as would ravish her before her matrimonies and if her could be so happy as to have Maudlin between her leggs her would teach her a lesson that should exceed all pricke-song and make her better harmony and musick then all her harps could do for her love no inâ—â—â—uments so well as Maudlins which her know how to stop and finger as well as the best musitians in the whole world Her would therefore desire her to joyn with her in matrimonies and her will play upon her instruments day night if her would condiscend to make marriages with her true love and affection besides Skinkin hath many other qualities may induce you dear Maudlin to love her in all integrities what say her now to her wooing argument and reasons Shinkin knows how to speake in complements and strong languages Maudlins briefe but very scoffing answer IF Shinkin be a Gentleman let him expresse it in generous qualities I love not bragging but perhaps Shinkin that is all you have to shew to make you a Gentleman Talk not to me of your coate which perhaps may lye at the Brokers as well as your other apparrel doth and for your arms your leggs as I heard prov'd your best friends at Edg-hill and for your skill on the Harpe the best musick that you would make me would be silence and so seem wise Shinkin O be not so cruell and hard-hearted sweet Mrs. Maudlin that physiognomy of yours promises better things O that colour in those cheeks which strives to put down the ruby obscure the rose that for-head which shine like bacon-rine whose crooked nose which downe to her chinne doth bow which will save her many a penny in buying of shooâ—ing-hornes when her wants them to pull on her shooes withall Maudlin Out you jeering Welsh theefe I hate thy flattering words I cannot endure thy face much lesse thy rude expressions I am sorry I have lost so much time and spent so much breath to answer thee in thy foolish propositions and questions Shinkin Her do owe her as many gratulations for her patience and favour afforded her at this time in hearing her complements as there be â—aicocks in Iune and as many thanks as there be roses in May. Maudlin You are mighty fluent in your eloquent tongue but for all your faire words you shall not make mee yield my selfe to your goatish desires Shinkin Sweet Maudlin her do honour the very ob-umbrations of her shoo-ties her do reverence her very posteriours and would salute her behind and before whensoever her meet her sweete Maudlin O Love and Pease-pottage and garlicke are three strong things her wil be alwaies her friend and stand to her upon all occasions if her would but love her Maudlin I thinke so too if you had power I doe imagine since you have lost so much bloud as you told me you did at Kinton field that you have nothing standing but yâ—ur eares I believe you may cry three times so ho before it wil stand once Shinkin Sweet Maudlin love her and that without delay And cast not with thy crabbed looks a proper man away Maudlin How doe you call your selfe a proper man by my troth Master Shinkin I see no such matter about you as either propernesse or comlinesse I tel you plainly I cannot fancy your person nor love your conditions
The Welch-Mans COMPLEMENTS OR The true manner how Shinkin woed his Sweet-heart Maudlin after his return from KENTON Battaile Also fair Maudlins Reply and answer to all Shinkins Welch Complements full of merry wit and pleasant mirth I Thank you Welch Ienken God save you sweet mistâ—is Printed at London 1643. The Welch-Mans Complements or the true manner how Shinkin wooed his Sweet-heart Maudlin after his returne from Kenton battle c. Sweet Maudlin AFter her return from Edg-hill which her may speake with griefe of heart her chaunced to cast her eyes on your incomparable beâ—uties by whose powerfull influences her was more wounded and killed and slaine then her was at Kenton battaile and her did find that the sword wounds gently but Love hath no mercy when it doth once strike the heart with deep affection so that her can get no Surgeons in Hospitals or any where else but only the favour of her beloved Maudlin must as it is the cause be also the cure of all her griefe and forrowes For when her first beheld her your haire faire Maudlin seemed to resemble the golden strings on her Harp your eyes shined like bright stars and in your cheekes appeared more Roses and Lyllies then there be leekâ— in her gardens in Wales whereupon her was fully resolved to make you the Mistris of her affections and after many considerations of her own estate and how fit a match you would be for her in the honest wayes of matrimony being a matter of mony for now her will stand upon her high tearms having been a Souldier her thought with good audacities and boldnesse to utter her mind in as good languages as her could desiring her not to look upon her with her Welsh frowns for frowns will spoile her beauties but with a smiling countenance behold the dolours and griefes which Shinkin sustaines for her sakes and give her such a favourable answer that her may be comforted and cherish hopes and assurances to gaine her favour will her love Shinkin what do her say Maudlins flouting reply to Mr. Shinkin MAster Shinkin I perceive you can flatter exceeding well but my eyes being full of my own wants can see nothing in mee worthy your affection The War is kinder then I can prove from whence by the nimble agility of your feet you returned safe and sound and pitty it were that the sword should devour so brave a Gentleman as you I mean when you are well apparelld your folly not my beauty hath wounded you if Love do occasion your sicknesse wholsome kitchin physick will cure you especially Leek-pottage for leekes bee perfectly ripe on St. Taffies day which will cleanse and purifie your blood and purge out the wanton humours that disturb your brains Do not curse your selfe and me in welsh if I refuse your offer of marriage for your suite purchased in Long-lane and your mountainous language such as Goates would utter if they could speak cannot move me therefore be patient in your new wooing apparell for your love is bootlesse because you come in stockings and therefore trouble not your brain with studying hard words and speeches to demonstrate your affection Welch-men were never true Shinkin scratching her head to quicken her invention made this Reply to her Sweet-heart Maudlin HOw what vile indignities does her use upon her true Brittaines Sweet Maudlin if her do distrust her fidelities or any other abilities her shall find her as true as her smock to her white pellies or heâ— backside and her will stick unto her in all fortunes and couragious magnamities fight for her as long as her Welch hook holds let her but grant her affections and make Shinkin happy in the fruition of her Love which her shall esteem above all her dirty cattle and her lands and houses in her possession in Wales Maudlins mocking answer to Shinkin PArdon my rash words if they have offended I have read of the welch magnanimity in old stories but could never understand it without book it was reported unto me for certaine that your crowns were terribly crackt at Kenton field and I love you better then to have you beaten againe or to see you throw away your arms and confide in your legs for my sake Neither will I put you to that service which my smock doth under-goe since your strong breath contaminated doth render you unworthy to kisse my back-side As for your cattle I beleeve they are white some of them grey and some with a black list down their backs you have called them in Welch Moabites and Nittibites and graze only in your bosome and those great pig houses whereof you boast are the buildings of your welch conceits and are indeed nothing but Castles in the Ayre His answer wherein Shinkin doth make long Protestations of her love with many great and large promises IF her doubt the words and affirmations of her affectionate servant Shinkin let her trample down with her into Wales her horse would be as proud as her selfe to cary faire Maudlin behind her or if her will her shal ride before her but that her wold not have the beast come betwixt her mistris thighs which place Shinkin only doth deserve and merit but if sweet Maudlin would be pleased to guild over her sublunary buildings in Wales with her presence her would then when her eye doth survey her house and lands derived from her Ancestors beleeve all her reports to be verities and truth and not coyned out of her braines as her Welsh Almanacks other inventions by her lately produced to keep people from talking of Treason against the King for her hath in Wales great pig-houses so that her may ride in at the door with her pike upon her shoulder and great ponds round about behind her house which are full of red herrings and other good fish especially round and sound trouts and then her hath a number of Out-houses in her back-side besides her Tennants doe pay her good pounds shillings and pence for their Farms which they hold under her being the Lord of all the soyles and lands thereabouts besides her hath great store of goats and young kidds which her will bake in venison pasties and Maudlin will say was excellent good meate and for her goates they yield her good milke to make her welsh cheese strong and fat and toast the better from her sheeps back her get good wool whereof her will make her petticoats to wear next her smocks and her selfe jerkins and doublets of freeze Her have tame fowl as cocks hens geese ducks which walke about in her yards and a Conny-burrough of her own on her back-side but not so good as that which Maudlin hath on her for-side And her is resolved to give Maudlin all her lands her houses her pig-houses her farms all her goats young kidds and sheepe and all her Cockes and Cocke-geldings her Hennes and all their egges with chickins in them her geese and all her pretty ducks nay all her conies
Shinkin If her will but love her her shall have all varieties that her heart can wish and also sorts of fowle and fish As Duck Mallard and Woodcocks Wigeons and all dainty content for fish her have poor Shonn Sprats and Bloat-herrings and Red-herrings with bells about their necks her shall have good store of Welch wine as Perry and Cider ancient Cairiwhiblin and excellent Ale her shall have a mountain of Coul-bobby which is in plain English good cheeze ready tosted at her commands and a huge hill of sheeze at her becks new sheeze as new as her moon and old sheeze as auncient as the Creation such sheeze as is able to go alone besides her shall have raw sheeze then her shall have warm or toasted sheeze then her shall have baked sheeze then fry'd sheeze then broyled cheeze fod cheeze parboyl'd cheeze stewed cheeze all these her shall have if her will but love her then her shall have her Welch Ambassador or her Welch Fidler every morning to bid good morrow to her sweet Maudlin at her chamber-window Maudlin Good honest Shinkin for bear your earnest suite of wooing I tell you I cannot love nor do I care for your company nor doe I approve of any of those things which are in your Countrey Shinkin O that her were any thing that her Maudlin did love would her were a jackes or her close-stool or her close-stoole-pan or the lock and key to her close-stool then her Maudlin would desire her sometimes I would her were any thing so her might enjoy her corpusculum then would her have about with her Nunquam-Satis O that sweet Angels face of thine fair Maudlin hath ravelled me I am enamelled with thy beautie I am in love with thee over my high shooes your face is more faire sweet Maudlin then Broâ—k my faders cow ô those hawke eyes which twinckle like the seaven starres in Lumbard-street whose ivory teeth give light like the gloworme in a darke evening to Charles his wane when her moon is in the flock-bed Maudlin Away with your cotten candle eloquence I care not for your Calve-skin jests there is nothing in you but fustian and bum-basted complements full of froath and emptinesse Shinkin Good Mrs. Maudlin graunt her but one thing and then doe her pleasures Maudlin What is that I would do any thing to be rid of a foolish idle Welch prating parret that loves to heare himselfe talke nothing but pedleâ—s French Shinkin Do you caknow Pye-corner Law or Pasty-nook Customes Maudlin No not I how should I know the Law or custome who was never there or ever heard of it Shinkin Then her will tell her in rime He that will woe a maid must cog lye and flatter And he that will woe a widow must down with his breeches and at her Maudlin Out you Capricornish Goatish baudy filthy Welch-man I scorne thy motion I render thee odious in words I could spit in thy face how darest thou to be so bold to aske a Gentlewoman such a question Shinkin .. Her hopes Mrs Maudlin that her is not so angry as her seemes to be her hopes it is but from the teeth outward Maudlins finall and last answer MAster Shinkin I am sorry you have placed your love so unhappily I must move in the obedience of a daughter my father would not have me match to a Welch goat and therefore I must tell you your suite is hopelesse fruitlesse and I am glad that I am to goe into the Countrey that I may not be troubled with your Welch complements comprised with so much false English and welch wit which is no better then English nonsence Shinkins answer and lamentation for the losse of his Sweet-heart Maudlin SWeete Maudlin Shinkin know not whether or no her shall live to suffer the injuries of her disdaine Has her spent all her wooing complements which her studied with all her paines and diligence to be scornfully rejected refused and abused Her now perceives and that all women-kinde doe but put flouts and jeeres upon her Countrey-men for her bad languages and expressions of her affections well Maudlin let her now at her departing bee so kind and courteous unto her to let her imprint a kisse upon her lips in the way of salutations and so farewell sweet Maudlin Maudlins answer I Dare not I am afraid your breath smells of toasted cheese farewell without a kisse Shinkin One sweet kisse sweet Maudlin Maudlin If you will needs kisse take me about the middle and kisse the heaviest end Shinkins conclusion and resolution WEll Her will in the absence of sweet Maudlin excuse her cruelty but not hang hee selfe though she be gone into the Countrey But her will seek her out and all paths tread Till Shinkin be to Maudlin marryed Was finde her I warrant her and then have at her for a second part of her complements and wooing languages and this is Shinkins conclusions and Resolution for this times FINIS