Selected quad for the lemma: love_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
love_n	affection_n	father_n	son_n	3,406	5	5.4504	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A19453	The court of good counsell VVherein is set downe the true rules, how a man should choose a good wife from a bad, and a woman a good husband from a bad. Wherein is also expressed, the great care that parents should haue, for the bestowing of their children in mariage: and likewise how children ought to behaue themselues towardes their parents: and how maisters ought to gouerne their seruants, and how seruants ought to be obedient towards their maisters. Set forth as a patterne, for all people to learne wit by: published by one that hath dearely bought it by experience.	Guazzo, Stefano, 1530-1593. Civil conversatione.	1607 (1607)	STC 5876; ESTC S105096	41,315	73

the Parents in suffring of them to grow too old or stuborne before they breake them of their obstinacie I Must néeder in this place mention vnto you a youth of fifterne or sixteene yeares of age of a ready wit but otherwise vicious and lewd of life which hapned through the fault of the father and mother who were so far from correcting him that they durst not so much as threaten him nor say any word to him that might displease him and I remember when he was fiue or fire yeares olde if any tolde them that they must rebuke him for some faulte he had done they would excuse him by and by saying he was not yet of age to know his fault And beeing seauen or eight yeares olde they would nouer beate him nor threaten him least through some great feare his bloud should be chase or inflamed whereby he might be cast into an ague No at ten yeares olde they thought not good to trouble nor molest him alledging that stripes and threats would too much pull downe his courage and take from him his stout and proud stomacke and though now for his haughty conditions he be hated of all the whole Cittie yet they leaue not to excuse him still saying he must first grow and then after be wise and that within few dayes they wil send him to schoole where he shall learne wit But now many a one lookes when hee shall be of age to he hanged o●● the gallowes to heare him before the people to lay the fault vpon his father and mother and iustly curse their foolish lone and shamefull cockering attempting as one did once to teare their nose and their eares of with his teeth CHAP. XIX ¶ Yf a childe be of neuer so good a wit yet for want of good bringing vp groweth to be ouer-bad and base in conditions and this oftentimes falleth out by the cockering of their Parents BY this example in the former Chapter reci●●d it is verified that a child though of nouer so good a witt yet beeing ill brought vp proueth too bad but this great tockering and compassion is proper to the mother who commonly bringeth vp her children with more tender affection and discretion and according to the olde saying it is an hard matter for a mother to be fond of her children and wise both together but yet the right loue is to beate and correct them when they shall deserue it for certainely the rod doth not tessen the mothers loue but rather increase it for if the excesse of loue be to be blamed in the mother much more is it to be reproued in the father whese part it is ito examine and correct his childrens faults assuring himselfe the onely way to spoyle them is to be too much fond and tender ouer them But now I must tell you which be these fathers that I call more then fathers in my oppinion they be those which are too cruell to their children and beate them continually like slaues for the least fault in the world Truely those fathers are to be misliked of all men for that without any discretion they measure their children by themselues and require at their hands a matter impossible whch is to haue them be olde in their youth not suffering them to inioy that liberty which is alowed to their age and in my minde they descrue no other name then of Schoole-maisters for that they cannot manner their children well vnlesse they haue a rod in their hand for if they were right fathers they would be content that their children shoulde learne of them nothing else but to refrayne from doing ill and to vse to doe that which is good and honest which a childe is brought too rather by loue then by force but the authoritie which some vn-wise fathers take vpon them is so great that without respecting age time or place they will heepe their children vnder by force and make them doe enery thing contrary to nature yea euen to wear their apparell after the fashion of the good men of the time past In this they doe amisse and hereby they make their children not to loue them harsely and to obey them rather for feare then affection And besides they consider not that the beating without measure and the keeping them in continuall feare is the cause that a man cannot iudge to what manner of life they are by nature inclined Moreouer it dulleth their wits and represseth their naturall strength in such sort that their is no liuely spirit left in them and comming in any company they know neyther which way to looke nor what to doe but stand like simple Idiots There I giue this counsell vnto all parents to leaue their butchery beating and consider rather that for larke of yeares their children cannot haue perfect vnderstanding and experience in thinges whereby they are to be borne withall when they doe amisse CHAP. XX. ¶ Of the great commendations of such parents as keepe their children in awe whilest they are young I Like those fathers well that can keepe their children in awe onely with shakeing their head at them or vsing some such like signe and can onely with a word correct them and make them ashamed of their fault yet I am perswaded that there are few fathers that know how to keepe the meane but they will orther be too rough or too gentle to their children whereof as the one driues them to desperatenes so the other bringeth them to wantonnes We must thinke that a childe hath giuen vnto him a father and a mother to the end that of the wisedome of the one and the loue of the other that meane I speak of might be made and that the seueritie of the father may be somwhat mittigated by the leuity of the mother Now this calls to mind an other disagréement betwéen the father and the childe which is the partiall loue of the father towardes his children for in my minde it is a great fault that he should loue one more then an other and that all being of his flesh and bloud he should cast a merry countenance vpon some of them and an angry looke vpon other some Yet this is the nature of man that a father loneth not all his children alike and yet he whom he loueth least cannot iustly complaine of him for the in-equality of loue is permitted to the fathers affection A father that is a husbandman hauing one sonne a scholler an other a Marchant and an other a husbandman of those three it is a great chaunce but hee will loue the husbandman best for he seeth him like himselfe in life and manners wherein his other sonnes in duty must be content for by nature we are led to like those things which resemble vs most Oh how hard a thing it is for the father after partiall loue is once entered into his hart to giue iustice indifferently The greater is the wisedome of the father who preferring the deserts of his children before his owne

partiall loue maketh his sences yeeld to reason and sheweth himselfe in deeds a like towards all I will not deny but the father by his authoritie may distribute his fauours as he seeth good to one more to an other lesse according to the state and doings of his children for as by gentle vsage he incourageth a child that is well giuen to doe well so by hard handling he may bring one that is vntoward to goodnes Yea if he haue any childe that is past grace without any hope of recouerie he may lawfully not onely loue him lesse then the rest but quite cast him out of his fauour But those fathers are greatly to be blamed who with vniust partiality and without any reasonable consideration on will vse one child as ligetimate the other vnlawfull whereof it followeth that he which is so meanely accounted of doth not onely fayle in affection to his kindred but beginneth to fall to secret warre with his owne brothers whereby the father that might establish peace and concord amongst his children shall by his partiality plant amongst them a roote of continaull discord Therefore the father ought to be well aduised how he preferreth in good will one childe before an other and not to doe it vpon euery light occasion I likewise thinke it a great folly insome fathers that make some of their children their darling and minion with out seeing any towardnes in them in the world and let euery man to haue knowledge of their fond causles affection yet it often falleth out that those children by reason of their wanton and dilicate bringing vp proue doults and simple sotts whereas contratiwise those which are banished from their fathers loue and driuen to shift for themselues doe oftentimes by their owne paine and trauell so aduaunce their estates that they are in better case then their father or their lawfull brothers to whom oft-times they afford ayde and succour in their distresses we may boldely then say that the in-iustice of the father bréedeth disagreement betweene his children and himselfe But now againe to our purpose It is commonly seene and that for the most part those children which are most made of fall out the worst and haue many misfortunes which makes me remember a prety Iest of an Ape that had two young ones at a litter whereof she loued the one and cared nothing for the other which Ape vpon occasion was driuen from her den and hauing taken that which she loued in her armes and tyed the other at her backe in running she stumbled and fell howne against the hard ground and so killed her young one she had in her armes and loued so well but the other which was at her backe had no harme at all whereby we may see that the Father oftimes doth pennance for his fondnes But to returne to our matter there is yet remaining one occasion of the disagreement betweene the Father and the Childe which is when the Father will not suffer his Children to come forth of their Infancy meaning that when eyther thorough the authoritie of olde age or couetou●nes the father though his Children be growne to mans estate will alow them neither more liuing nor more liberty even they had when they were Children therefore let al men learne know that Children now adayes are borne wise and haue gray haires in youth and as men liue not so long in these dayes as they did in times past so they grow sooner to ripenes of wit now thē they did here to fore therefore I am to aduise the Father if he tender the well doing of his Childe to alow him with discretion some liberty in matters of the House suffring him sometime to inuite to welcome make his companions good cheere to giue entertainment to strangers and as occasion shal serue to vse the goods of the house to serue his turne but aboue all things he must still counsell the Sonne to play the good husband to see to things about home whereby he may be able to keepe augment his estate keep himselfe frō falling into decay Hereof will rise thrée good effects the first is the loue of the sonne who seeing his father withdraw himselfe by litle little frō the gouerment of the house to the intent to put him in his roome receiueth therby wonderful countentment and thinketh himselfe in mind much bound vnto him not onely honoreth him but witheth him long to liue on earth The second is the commoditie of the sonne who by this meanes after his fathers death shall haue no neede to seeke counsel at his friends kinsfolks hands nor to put the ordering of his house to the discretion of his seruants hauing by the foresight of his father at things long before in his owne hands so that the gouerment of his house shall not be strange nor troublesome vnto him as it is to many when they haue lost their Father The third is the sweete rest and content of minde which the Father inioyeth in his old dayes both for that he feeleth himselfe ridde from all worldly troubles and besides seeth his Sonne by his example gouerne his house orderly and for my part I count it the chiefest felicitie in this world for a man to haue about him a number of goodly Children which are growne to perfection whom he may tearme the light of his eyes and the staffe of his age and mee thikes it must needes be a greater comfort to the Father to see a proofe of his Childe and how discreetly he can dispose of his lyuing and order his houshould then to doe it himslefe now when the Father shall be arriued to the hauen of such happinesse mee thinkes he may ioyfully looke for the last hower of his life and die most contentedly Yet in the holy Scriptures in it written Giue no authoritie ouer thee neither to thy Sonne neither to thy Wife neither to thy Brother nor to thy Friend and giue not away thy liuing to another while thou art aliue least thou afterward repent it Yet there haue been in time past and are at this day many wise Fathers which depart with their Liuinges to their Children and yet incurre no inconuenience by it mary they doe it in such sort that they neither bring themselues in subiection to their Children nor into such case that they are not able to liue without them But now in briefe I giue the Father to vnderstand that there is nothing in this world wherein there ought more care and diligence to be bestowed then in the bringing vp of Children for thereof proceedeth for the most part either the mayntenance or the decay of Houses therefore he must begin in time to furnish their tender mindes with the feare and knowledge of God and such good conditions that they may learne to liue as if they were still at the poynt to die that he indeauour to keepe them in obeydience rather by loue then feare and cause them to doe

THE COVRT OF good Counsell VVHEREIN IS SET downe the true rules how a man should choose a good Wife from a bad and woman a good Husband from a bad WHEREIN IS ALSO EXPRESsed the great care that Parents should haue for the bestowing of their Children in Mariages And likewise how Children ought to behaue them selues towardes their Parents And how Maisters ought to gouerne their Seruants and how Seruants ought to be obedient towards their Maisters Set forth as a patterne for all people to learne ● it by published by one that hath dearely bought it by experience ¶ At London printed by Raph Blower and are to be solde by William Barley at his shop in Gratious Streete 1607. ⁂ TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPfull Sir Iohn Ioles Knight and one of the Worshipfull Aldermen of the Honorable Cittie of London HAVING Right Worshipfull the industrious labours of a willing practioner in the discourses of Morall Philosophy the same comming by chaunce into my hands to be imprinted which said matters beare the Title of The Court of good Counsell wherein the duty of all sorts of people is most Lyuely set foorth Which for th'excelencie of the discourse deserues a Patron of a Iudiciall censure And now your Worship beeing one whom my secret thoughts deepely affect I haue boldly dedicated the same vnto you wishing the same as worthy of your VVorships acceptance as my desire most humbly requireth Thus leauing your VVorship to the Tuition of the Almighty whom I pray to blesse in this world with much prosperity And in the life to come with blessed Eternitie Your Worships in all dutie W. B. Heere beginneth the table of this booke CHAP. I. CErtaine reasons intreating of the great and comfortable ioyes of Mariage if the same be duely and rightly regarded as they ought to be CHAP. II. How that oftentimes wise Parents may haue foolish Children and foolish Parents wise Children and how that oftentimes rich mens Children beeing left rich become poore and poore mens Children become rich CHAP. III. What great care a man ought to haue in the choyce of his Wife and what circumspection ought to be had therein likewise shewing that many mischaunces often happen to the Children through the manyfolde imperfections of the Parents CHAP. IIII. How an vntoward young woman or a wanton Wife may be easily gouerned by her Husband if she haue any good nature or modesty in her at all especially if the man himselfe be of any reasonable gouerment CHAP. V. When a man or woman hath bin once Maried and afterwards becommeth a Widdower or a Widdow againe what great inconuenience hapneth often to the Children by Stepmothers especially if that both the parents doe not agree well together CHAP. VI. Heere followeth the manner of life that ought to be obserued and kept betwixt Man and wife and how a man were better to choose a young Wife then one that is aged CHAP. VII How some sort of men by giuing of their wiues ouermuch liberty doe perswade themselues that that is the next way to make them honest CHAP. VIII Of the great care that euery Husband ought to haue for the keeping and maintayning of his Wife whereby that through want she be not driuen to alter her manners and conditions CHAP. IX Herein is shewed the lone and obedience of the Wife towards her husband and how that a woman that regardeth her owne credit ought to refuse the company of a woman that hath an ill name or deserueth any cause of suspition CHAP. X. An admonition to the wise and discreet woman how to gouerne her selfe Shewing that chastitie ioyned with vanity deserueth no commendations at all And how many women giue occasion to beil thought of for these fower causes following Viz Deedes Lookes Wordes and Apparell CHAP. XI How a woman ought not as neere as she can giue any occasion to her Husband to prouoke him to anger neyther ought she to be Iealous of him without great cause of desert shewing also that it is better to couer his faults then to disclose them CHAP. XII Hereafter followeth certaine admonishions how the wife may continue her loue and goodwill towardes her Husband CHAP. XIII Of the conuersation of Parents towards their Children and of the disagreements that oftentimes happen betwixt the Father and the Sonne CHAP. XIIII Of the great discomfort that Children many times bring to their Parents through their mis-deameanor towardes them And of the euill successe that oftentimes hapneth thereby CHAP. XV. Wherein is shewed the occasions of the great difference that oftentimes hapneth between the parents the children CHAP. XVI Of the great wisedome of men in getting of riches and of the excellency of many good and learned Maisters now in this age CHAP. XVII Of the euill successe of many Children through the imperfections of their Parents CHAP. XVIII Of the lewdnes of many Children through the want of their good bringing vp whilest they are young And of the ouer-fight of the Parents in suffring of them to grow too old or stuborne before they breake them of their obstinacie CHAP. XIX If a Childe bee of neuer so good a wit yet for want of good bringing vp groweth to be ouer head-strong and base in conditions and this oftentimes falleth out by the cockering of the Parents CHAP. XX. Of the great commendations of such Parents as keepe their Children in awe whilest they are young CHAP XXI Heere followeth the duty of the Childe towards the Parents CHAP. XXII Of the diuersitie of the care that Parents ought to take of their Daughters in the bringing vp of them more then they take for the bringing vp of their Sonnes CHAP. XXIII Of the great disagreements and discontentments that oftentimes doth happen betweene the Maister and the seruant CHAP XXIIII Of the impatience of some Maisters towards their Seruants ouer other some CHAP. XXV Of the great abuses of some Seruants towardes their Maisters which is rather for want of wit then for any other cause CHAP. XXVI How a Seruant may liue quietly with his Maister if he be of any reasonable gouerment CHAP. XXVII How the Maister with good perswasions may gouerne his Seruant and in the obstinacie of his Seruant what will insue vnto him CHAP. I. The Court of good Councell or Certaine Reasons intreating of the great and Comfortable Ioyes of Marriage if the same be duely rightly regarded as it ought to be THE greatest ioy and sweete●t comfort that a man may haue in this worlde is a louing kinde and honest wife Contrariwise there is no greater plaque nor torment to his minde then to be matched with an vntoward wicked and dishonest Woman Therefore let him that intendeth to marry and fye himselfe to that honorable state of life being the first bargaine of thrist and the first step to good husbandry take all the best Counsell he can in the world in the choyce of a Wife yet scarce sufficient enough for being once done it can neuer be recall'd but

not their children in such awe neyther bring them vp in such sort as they ought to doe or to the children who know not how much they are beholding to their fathers But in my mind I conclude that the childe rather is to be in the fault who cannot bring any action against his father though he doe him neuer so great wrong First of all therefore will I begin to excuse the father whom some will thinke to be in fault who ought to haue informed him in his dutie when he was young and tender If the father giue his sonne good lessons and he wil not hearken vnto them what can he doe more If the father offereth Instructions to his child with his right hand and the childe receyueth them with the left what fault is the father in None but this in my opinion but that he deferreth till euening to giue him those Instructions which hee shoulde haue giuen him early in the morning at the sunne rising I meane whilst he is young euen as it were with the milke of the nurse not considering that in tender mindes as it were in war a man may make what impression he lift But I know not how to excuse the children who after their father hath nourished and brought them vp carefully vnder the learned men and instructed them in the faith of Christ in the end run astray liuing lewdly bring forth fruit vnworthy their bringing vp I matualle not so much that a child vertuously brought vp sometime falleth out naught but I count it straunge and as it were against nature that both the father and the sonne being both honest men and for their good dealing well spoken of by all men it shoulde often fall out that they cannot agree together in one house but liue in continuall strict and variance and agreeing well in publike aff●yres still disagree about houshold matters whereof I could bring forth many examples But this I must say that the sonne in duty ought to suffer his father to commaund ouer him and that he ought to obay him without any resistance And that their conuersation may frame the better I thinke it necessarie to counsell the father how he ought to proceede in his fatherly iurisdiction that he exceede not the bonds of reason and giue not his sonne cause to finde fault with him in his hart and to thinke himselfe ill dealt withall by him by meanes whereof he waxeth colde in the loue and reuerence he ought to beare to his father I cannot forget the olde saying that few children are like the father and that many of them are worse and those that are better are very rare and thin sowen therefore I would willingly search out the cause why so few Children resemble the Father and answere to the hope he conceaueth of them CHAP. XIIII ¶ Of the great discomfort that Children many tymes bring to their Parents through their mis-deameanor towards their parents And of the euill successe that oftentymes hapneth thereby FIRST it is to be considered that Children bring small or no comfort to their Parents if Nature and Fortune be not well temperd in them For as a fruitful graine sowen in a soyle vnfit for it bringeth foorth no increase So a child that is naturally giuen to learning will neuer doe well if be be fet to husbandry so much it behooueth the father to find out in his Childe-hood wherevnto he is most inclined Therefore it behooueth fathers to vse discretion in this poynt that is to finde out the naturall inclination of their children the which is best done in their Infancy as the prouerbe is that by the morning it may be gathered how all the day will proue after whether it will be eyther faire or foule I thinke this counsell most necessary to be respected by the fathers who force their Children to enter into trade of life which is altogether contrary to their mindes and therefore no maruaile though they receiue small comfort of them For thereof many times insueth the dishonor of their house and which is worse great offence towardes God as when poore boyes are put to study diuinitie who euen from their mothers wombe desire the warres Those fathers that set their children to things contrary to their disposition are rather to be pittied then blamed for that happeneth commonly for lacke of taking hade but those which thrust their children into Colledges before they are of yeares to choose or refuse that life Are no doubt greatly to be blamed for that they bring their children too it eyther through feare or through false perswasions which is nothing else but to withstand the will of God and so take from their children that free choyce which God of his diuine goodnes hath promised them Therefore if the father be carefull of the loue and quiet of his house let him be also carefull to know whether his sonnes mindes be giuen eyther to learning or to armies or to husbandry or to marchandize and when hee shall perceiue he hath drawne him out of the right let him make him returne into it forthwith and set him againe where he should be otherwise let him assure himselfe that a thing ill begun will come to a worse end Seeing we are to search why children oftentimes fall not out according to the good hope of their parents we● haue neede to begin at the milk they sucke in their cradles for that the nurses milke is of such force that the vse therof maketh the child take after her then after the mother which brought him into the world and when I remember the custome of diuers women in Fraunce who bring vp their Infants onely with the milke of beasts I thinks thereof it commeth that diuers of them are so sterce and cruell that by their ill life many of them shew themselues scarce to be indued with that reason proper to men I am of mind without doubt that the effects of the milke is maruelous and it is a thing certaine that if a lambe be nourished with the milke of a Goate or a Kidd with the milke of a yeaw the Kidd will haue a very soft hayre and the Lambe a very rough and barry wooll And therefore it is thought that as the childe by reason of the milke taketh after the complerion of the Nurse So the disposition of the minde fol oweth the complerion of the body and thereof also it commeth that the daughters of honest women oftentimes proue altogether vn-like them both in body and minde so that to deliuer Children from their mothere to nurses cannot be said so be other then a corrupting of nature But if wee should make mention of this first nourishment we should haue spoken of it when we discoursed of vnfortunate mariages but I neyther spake of it there neyther will doe here The reason I forbeare to speake of it is for that women at this day are so curious of their comlines or rather of their vanity that they had rather to