in love with her quoth a Shee 's not one that cares for complements or will be wonne with cringes or your tres-humble serviteur Madame no no Roger she is a Blade a Sparke a Teare-coate and he that carries her away must mumble her jumble her rumble her and tumble her swagger roare and teare like a mad man your young Master quoth a pish To them Valentine and Fairefaith Rog. Husht here come the gentlemen Val. Why stand you here make sir Timothy Testies man welcome go Hilts It was a brave speech of your worships sir Val. O Cosen Exit with Rog. and Row The wombe of Aetnas but a rocke of ice Compar'd unto those flames that rage within My bosome I must enjoy or else give end unto This mortall life by some untimely meanes Fair. Good starres forbid it sir Come come Lull not your owne destruction nor unman Your selfe in doting on the outward frame Of an imperfect soule Follow discretions finger that will guide Your understanding and your minde to one Whose person's vertues Temple Cosen thinke on 't Her qualities and yours will ne're agree Your civill nature ne're will correspond With her wanton humours Val. It cannot be There 's nothing save a Deity can inhabit So glorious a mansion Not love her say yee not have her I hope my starres will never looke so blacke How ever yet my comforts this If I cannot have her I can perish Fair. That case is desperate when a man must needs Sinke in a gulfe or split upon the rocke Know sir I beare as good a mind To her faire sister Mirabell but yet I checke these passions fearing that shee is Too like her sister yet my flames doe rise So high that she takes notice on 't come Learne to forget her for you must expect Nothing from her but scorne Val. That such a creature has so foule a soule 'T will never pierce My understanding judgement or beleefe Her birth and education needs must purge Such grossenesse Fai. Sir be happie hugge your owne fancy May things prove well I shall be glad to see 't Farre bee 't from me to envie any good Betydes a friend and kinsman To them Sabina Mirabell Peace they 'r both come Val. Welcome faire one Welcome I say toth ' armes of him that flies All joyes but those that in thy bosome lies Sab. My bosome what d ee you finde there pray sir you have a minde perhappes to my Jewell if you will not hurt it ye shall have it a while to play with t is a pretty bright thing sir Val. Not so bright as your white bosome Lady Sab. As how pray ye what see you there Val. O no the gods wu'd frowne if any mortall breath Shu'd once prophane that milkie way There 's not a little in that lovely place But does create a wonder When Cupid's thirstie and desires a sip Of Nectar than he runnes unto thy lip And for your haire the brightnesse of it does Perswade my soule the very graces spun The golden twist Sab. Pray yee speake on sir when ye have emptied your pockets you le be quiet Val. Emptied my pockets Sab. Sir these are but pocket complements run 'em over once and then perhaps I shall talke with yee remember where ye left I wu'd be loath to put ye out sir my haire was golden twist ye said come what of all this Val. This has enflam'd my thoughts Ensnar'd my soule and made me vow A desperate destruction to my selfe Except from you I have one gracious smile May stile me servant And for your fathers minde I know it jumpes with our desires Sab. My fathers minde d ee thinke his frosty beard Can temper my affections No no His precepts are too wither'd for my youth Know sir That I disdaine those low-borne wormes That will be circumscrib'd by dotage In loves affaires I scorne to be directed I am my selfe sir and my onely soule Is my owne will and humour But pray whence come these words Val. From my deepe passions Sab. Whence those passions Val. From your faire eyes they Were the happie guiders of my soule Vnto this bower of wonder They fir'd my heart Which burnes and will doe in remorslesse flames Vntill from them I doe receive a glance May sweeten these my torments Sab. Not so loud I pray you speake softly sir They whisper Fair. Speake Mirabell May I thinke a proud thought Mir. O by no meanes sir they are great sinnes Fair. This of mine 's a vertue Mir. What may it be sir Fair. Nothing Lady but a presumptuous study to be yours Mir. Sir you may speake what you please but first Let it arrive my apprehension what Or how you meane according to my skill I will returne my answer Fai. Onely to be One of the number that doe still attend Your pleasures becke and so be stil'd your servant Mir. Sir My thoughts nor fortunes ever were so high To keepe a servant of that consequence And t is my hope they never will or shall be Fai. Breake not a sacred oath for I have sworne My selfe your servant then for pitties sake Doe not infringe my vow Mir. Well Tendring your vow Suppose I shud admit Your selfe into my service wod ye strive T' expresse the faith and diligence belongs Vnto a servant Fair. My pleasure and delight shud fixe On nothing more than to expresse My faith and loyalty Mir. Well I admit you into my service But by the way you may perhaps observe Some passages betwixt a friend and me As letters tokens passages or so Which if ye doe take heede ye word it not But still possesse your selfe with secresie Fair. Betwixt a friend and you umph Mir. Ne're scratch your head about it for y' are now My servant Fair. I am I 've sworne it and I will be so But yet ye did not heare me sweare my selfe A servant to your friend I le none of that Mir. Your reason Fai. T is love that makes me here present my selfe And with my selfe to tender up my soule Engag'd by vowes and oathes to waite upon No creature but your selfe Love is the spurre that prickes me on to this And love you know can brooke no rivalls Mir. Doe you love and serve your selfe Fai. You and my selfe I doe Mir. Your self 's the friend I meane and this discourse Has beene a true prospective glasse whereby To peepe into your minde which now I finde Full fraught with sweetnesse when I did desire Ye wod keepe private what ye did observe 'T was nothing else But to be secret to your selfe and me Sir in a word I doe embrace your love Fair. Be not too prodigall of thy goodnesse sweet Consider what a scarciti 's of it now i th' world Mir. Let this suffice sir I am yours Sab. Pray let me intreate ye to love your selfe a little better than to spend all this breath to no purpose Val. Why then I le take my leave but first let this snow white hand but daine
starre under whose influence thou wert made O this halfe houres forbearance pardon sweet heart passion had almost made me forget a due respect Kisses her Tr. Pray sir doe not charge your memory with these things leave 'em to me sir Val. To you sir wherefore Tr. Because shee is the Sugar-plumme of my affections sir Val. Cry yee mercy farewell pretty Ducke tell your Mistresse I will flie like time till I have blest these eyes with the sight of her Exit Betty Fai. Cosin y' are now in a progresse towards the gentlewoman take a little of my advice along with ye having now the advantage of a faire opportunitie try her every way you know my meaning and then as you finde her dispos'd you may better dispose of your affections Spo. Sir were it in my case I tell ye in plaine termes I wud promise her a thousand things and it may be for a nights lodging I wud vow 'em and sweare 'em too but when J had once satisfied my purposes I wud shew her a faire paire of heeles and there 's an end Tr. Spoke like a gentleman I le assure yee sir Val. T is easie sporting where no paine is felt Come come le ts goe Fai. We attend your pleasure sir for I perceive you long to be where your minde is Tr. A lacke aday you must consider sir every thing wud live Val. Sweet I come Exit Val. Fai. Spo. Didst ever see a passion so transport a man heavens blesse his wits Tr. T was a good prayer sir but he must have 'em first Exeunt Spo. Trash Enter Sabina Betty Sab. What said he Betty when he read the Letter Bett, Hee was so ravisht with joy that J thinke he knew not what hee said forsooth and for the letter he did so cull it and lull it and clip it and hugge it and busse it O me Mistresse this love Sab. T is a pretty pleasant vexation but did he say hee wud come Bett. He told me he wud come with all speede and that hee shud thinke every minute a hundred yeares till hee saw yee with many other pretty words which I cannot repeate for sooth Sab. I shall be extreame melancholy till I see him but are you sure he did say he wud come Bett. Very certaine forsooth Sab. How long d ee thinke it will be first Bett. Your owne appointment was halfe an houre but for ought I saw he was resolv'd not to forbeare so long forsooth Sab. Prethee Betty helpe me to cosen the time a little with some pretty love Song Bett. That will but make yee the more melancholy forsooth Sab. Though it doe yet me thinkes I love it dearely Bett. Me thought yee said ye were afraid of being melancholy but now forsooth Sab. I did so and so I am and yet I love it Bett. I had heard 'em say forsooth that melancholy people are like Spaniells Sab. Why prethee Bets. They say a Spaniell the more a man beates him the more he fawnes upon him so melancholy people me thinkes the more the humor torments 'em the more they love it Sab. T is very true come reach me my Lute prethee sing Betty A Song BE not so cruell fairest Boy But unstring thy golden bow In love we must expect no joy Nothing there but sorrow's flow If thy flaming arrow did But touch yet it still appeares We must for ever after bid Farewell joye and welcome teares Tell us then tell us where doth grow The herbe that cures the wounded eye Else we must cry alas and woe There 's no such herbe that growes and dye Sab. T was well sung Bett. No indeede forsooth my voyce is quite gone Chambermaides have occasion you know forsooth now and then to sit up in the nights when they have businesse to doe and that spoiles a maids voyce quickly forsooth they knocke Sab. They 're come I vow runne to the doore She runnes to doore and lets them in Enter Valentine Fairefaith Sportlove Trash the three Gentlemen salute Sabina Tr. My little Tewxbury mustard how does thou doe Bett. Mustard why mustard pray ye Tr. Because I never come neere thee but thou makes my very eyes water Fai. Sir t is fit wee now withdraw the darkenesse of the night preswaded our attendance now common civilitie requires our absence pleasures attend your proceedings sir Spo. Sweet night embrace ye sir Val. Thankes noble sir peace conduct ye Exeunt Fair. Sport Betty Tr. Well now your worships pleas'd I hope but stay Where 's Betty Sab. She 's gone out with the gentlemen Tr. Gone out with the gentlemen quoth a and I stand here Exit Trash Val. Your courteous invitation makes some recompence for the late scorne with which you did slight my honest zeale Sab. I doe acknowledge sir The error of my rashnesse and begge pardon I have inform'd my judgement better since And you appeare to my opinion More acceptable farre than when you first Presented your desires with your selfe That now shall want no fitting entertainement To satisfie the first neglect Val. I cannot deny but that it made 〈…〉 Of some sad thoughts within me but I 〈…〉 A little rectified consideration Hath almost cur'd my passions and my fire Of love is some what abated Sab. The few houres Are added to my age since you last saw me Have made no wrinkles yet upon that beauty To which you then did give large attributes And to be cold so soone argues 't was onely Your flattery and courtship Val. Not so Lady I ne're dissembled any false intents My words were the true characters of my thoughts Onely your scorne there t is Sab. Sir I am alter'd much From that bad humor and my heart hath tane A flame into it from the observation Of your compleate deservings and is ready To answer your desires Val. You engage me To a due gratitude but I have setled New resolutions Sab. Sir ye are now revengefull And punish scorne with scorne a gentle nature Wud not deny a reconciliation Vpon such tearmes but you suspect my freenesse I blush to thinke on 't and am sorry sir The offer of my selfe is no more valued Than thus to be refus'd streight my servant Shall be your guide and so I wish sweete peace To your faire thoughts She offers to goe he brings her backe Val. They are the fairer Lady In that they have called backe your fairest selfe To be their object Sab. Call not backe your humour To flatter me Val. By my best hopes I doe not A Saints devotion 〈…〉 earnester Or more free from hypocrisie hypocrisie than my love I owne not a desire but what is yours And if agen you chide my forward zeale My danger will be more in the relapse Than in the first disease which you have cur'd In steed of healing Balmes apply no Corrasives To my sicke heart but gently entertaine My second motions for next to Eternitie You are my happinesse Sab. You did intimate That you had fixt upon some other beauty From
woman lives That has a sister abus'd as mine And not yet be vext To them Fairefaith To bring a maid into this misery And all under loves pretence This is your kinsman sir your owne flesh and blood sir Fai. The more sorry am I forsooth But if you 'le please to entertaine my vowes Of reall love and service once againe Into your better thoughts I le use a meanes That shall preserve her honour from the dust If not abhorre me Mir. Let your heart and tongue but correspond And you enslave my soule Fai. I have already hammer'd in my scull A vindication that shall make her name Shine to posteritie Mir. The boundlesse Ocean of your goodnesse drownes The slender nite of what I can returne Enter Sabina Here she comes if ye can doe her a favour Both she and I will be glad to snatch all Opportunities to expresse our thankefull minds sir Fai. Ladies thus it is hee has disguis'd himselfe goes in womans apparell if ye please I le bring ye to him where if there be occasion you shall command my best assistance Kate Pray ye sir where is the place Fair. It is at A Shoomakers house in the Strand but that 's all one follow me Exeunt Omnes Much. Budget Enter Muchcraft Budget Bud. Sir Much. Have ye drawne William Woodcocks plea to Tristram Widgroms declaration ha Bud. No sir the cause is remov'd Woodcocke fearing to be overthrowne at Common Law comes with a pittifull long bill makes a case of conscience on 't and so is flowne away Much. Is he so if I had knowne that Budget I wud have Pluckt his feathers a little first but 't is no matter let him goe Enter Hilts legging and scraping What 's your errand fellow Hilts Fellow Sir I 'me none of your fellowes not I Much. I beleeve ye are not what 's your businesse before me Hilts Sir I doe not come to doe my businesse before you Much. What meane these frivolous answers Whose man are ye sir Hilts My masters sir Much. Very good what mad man are you pray Hilts Mad sir no more than your selfe mad sir umph Much. Nay let him alone Budget wee shall have a brave action of battery here by and by Hilts Sir I belong to the right worshipfull Sir Timothy Testy my master sent me for your Vice the Case is this a Gentleman comes into my masters house at an unreasonable time of the night contrary to my Masters knowne will and command whether is this a trespasse or no Much. No no prethee doe not trouble me I 'me a little busie Enter sir Tim. Sir T. Cosin Muchcraft how d ee sir Much. Sir Timothy Testy you are kindely welcome sir how d ee sir Sir T. Never worse cosin even almost dead with griefe most abominably abus'd Much. Wherein pray ye sir Gives him a fee. Sir Tim. That I will tell more at large hereafter sir not onely a peece but my whole love attends ye sir the case is this a Gentleman comes into my house at an uncivill and unseasonable time of the night contrary to my knowne will and command a Trespasse or no Much. A trespasse a transcedent crime sir a most foule matter I le assure ye your man did not put the Case to mee in this manner Sir T. Not ye whoreson blockhead are yee not able to speake to a man wherefore doe I keepe ye ha Hilts I cud not I had not instructions in my pocket Much. 'T is well enough sir both Law and Equitie supports your cause come wee 'le walke out and talke of it Sir T. Your tongue drops honey cosin and you have revived my staggering spirits And now though time and age Cover my head with honorable haires Yet Since raies of Sunny thoughts peepe out agen I le strive to quell these passions come Sad sighes and teares are Oratours of griefe But 't is an active braine that brings releefe Exeunt omnes Actus Quartus Enter Fairefaith Sabina in mans apparell Sportlove Trash and Hilts Fair. Come pray sir doe not thinke on 't Sab. How shall I stand by and see A gentlewoman of my kindred wrong'd Be patient And my kinred thus abus'd my proper flesh And blood disgrac'd our reputation turn'd Quite topsie turvie nay and all this done By a lascivious villaine No no Nothing but 's blood shall pacifie my sword Had but the slave as many thousand lives As there doe graines of sand surround the sea There wud be scope to vent my fury on But now 't is circumscrib'd within the verge Of one poore rascalls life whose blood will scarce Give satisfaction to my thirsty steele Come sir I doe perceive you know his haunts which if ye doe I doe conjure ye here to bring him forth And if you will or dare to second him I le stand ye both Fai. Sir on my life I vow The place of his abodes unknowne to me They say he 's fled and gone T is true I had Some conversation with him but I was A stranger to his thoughts and actions And where this time hee does bestow himselfe T is not knowne to me Sport Sirra what say you where 's your Master Tr. Ah I wud I cud tell ye he has left me in a pittifull case here if old sir Plenteous doe not take pitty upon me I must even go and drive Wheele-barrowes in Lincolnes-Inne-fields for ought I know Fai. Alas poore fellow I 'me sorry for that what canst doe Tr. I have a qualitie sir but the world now adayes does not respect men of parts Fai. What i st Tr. A Bagge-piper an 't shall please your worship Fai. A Bagpiper Tr. Yes indeede sir as simple as I stand here I have plaid before as good Beares as be in the Kingdome of England Fair. Where dost live now Enter Valentine in womens apparrell Tr. Sir in the meane time J waite upon the Lady that lies in the house here Val. Trash Tr. Madam Val. Come ye hither Sab. Vnhappy eyes ye have undone my heart Tr. I come forsooth Sab. Stay faire one stay Val. Speake ye to me sir Sab. I doe But first I doe intreate you will be pleas'd To smile upon my rashnesse then must I Perforce enforme ye that just now I felt A blow upon my heart which I conceive Was darted from your eyes Val. Your conceit was in an error sir Sab. O no I see betwixt those brests Is Adons garden and Elisiums love Kisses her And from these lippes proceedes an ayre transcends Sabean spices or the Phoenix nest Lady Be pleased to let this Jewell pride it selfe Betweene those snowie hills and you engage My soule unto your selfe Gives her a Iewell Val. My gratitude entertaines your loving directions sir A word sir Valen and Sport goe aside What gentleman is this me thinkes he much resembles Sabina Testy know ye him not Sport Not I I met him here by chance it matters not who 't is take you his gifts and be sure to yeeld what hee would have yee doe
Officer I le make her tell me who she is If she can Married already quoth a and ye know not to whom neither here 's a marriage with a vengeance Enter Fairefaith and Sportlove who were present at the marriage leading betwixt them Sabina veil'd they present her to her Father Hilts attending them Fai. We heard ye sent for my cosin Valentines wife sir Sir T. I did so Fai. We have brought her to you sir here she is sir Sir T. Very well in good time what are you gentlewoman whence are ye ha speake nay if you will not give me an account I must punish ye Sabina unpins her maske and falls upon her knees to her Father let not my eyes surfeit what my Sabina My lovely Girle Thrice welcome to my bosome My Sabina my daughter and the wife Of this my deared friend unexpected felicitie Enter Sir Plenteous with Trash and Rowland Sir Plenteous welcome thrice noble sir Plenteous But stay Gentlemen pray ye present her to her husband first Fairefaith and Sportlove present her to Valentine Sweet sir Plenteous how d ee sir Sab. d ee know me sir nay gaze on sir Hilts He knowes her present I see that Tra. Know her he has beene familiarly with her before man and that thee didst not know Sab. Gaze on still sir I 'me not Sabinaes ghost but her poore selfe Here stands the creature that was wrong'd by thee The very selfesame that you married sir What dost thou thinke Dost thou not tremble lest I shud begin To number up my wrongs I that was lull'd i th' bosome of my friends And as 't were dandl'd on a Fathers knee Forfeited all this favour and was made A stranger to his eye for love to thee Yet thou Like the prodigious Monster of the world Ingratitude didst labour to forget Not my love onely but those sacred vowes Have past betwixt us but to be short Thus thus I revenge my selfe Kisses him Val. O my Sabina It is too sweete and loving a revenge Vpon so vile a miscreant Sab. Come Let the remembrance of these matters dye And be confin'd to dust let 'em be trod Into the very center of the earth Never to rise againe and let our loves For ever twine like twins What 's past I have forgot and pardon'd Val. Seale it or else I die Kisses him agen Live O live A rare example to all future times Of constancie in love Sir P. Daughter my heart bids thee welcome This night my house shall give thee entertainement Whereof thy selfe shall be sole governesse And when the icie hand of death shall drive My soule out of this clod It shall be his and thine Sir T. But gentlemen me thinkes I long to heare The storie of this marriage how it come to passe For did I know 't I shud adore the starre Vnder whose influence she was brought t' arive Midst stormes of woe upon this shore of blisse Sport Sir I doe thinke 't will be A seasonable discourse for supper Suspend but your desires till then And you shall be satisfied Sir T. With all my heart with all my heart but sonne I have one petition to preferre to you Val. You may stile it a command sir Sir T. You must needs bestow upon me your servant Trash Tr. Heyda now I 'me a beg'd foole I see that Val. Sirra attend my father Tr. Your worships humble servant sir Sir T. In all this businesse I have observed in thee Discretion judgement wit and police Therefore I doe appoint thee Steward of my house And put into thy charge the overseeing Of all my businesses Tr. Nay sir for an oversight in any businesse let me alone Sir T. And what is more Dispose my house and servants as you please Tr. Hilts come hither Sirra doe you waite upon me Hilts Yes forsooth Tr. I did ever thinke thou wudst come to some good for thou hast beene alwayes an honest Trojan d ee heare if you had carried me to Bridewell when ye were bid where had your proferments beene then Hilts Sir T. Mr. Fairefaith for you I doe perceive your ingenuitie Has beene a meanes to make my comfort swell And for returne J doe bestow on thee My daughter Mirabell Fai. Sir your returnes are farre beyond the claime Of my deserts and though J am not fit To bandy favours with so brave a Knight Yet I will stretch my studes to expresse A detestation of ingratitude and now Sabina I doe salute thee by the word of Sister Kisses her but why so dumpish on a sudden ha I know the cause already 't is for feare Your censures on her faults be too severe She has given satisfaction where 't was due Her Father 's pleas'd and so we hope are you To you she is referr'd who now are set Ready to give your sentences but yet Be pleas'd to speake your doome with gentle breath Cause you 're the Judges of her Life and Death FINIS