THE FAMELIE OF LOVE Acted by the Children of his Maiesties Reuells Lectori Sydera iungamus facito mihi Iuppiter adsit Et tibi Mercurius noster dabit omnia saxo At London Printed for Iohn Helmes and are to be sold in Saint Dunstans Churchyard in Fleetstreet 1608 To the Reader TOo soone and too late this work is published Too soone in that it was in the Presse before J had notice of it by which meanes some faults may escape in the Printing Too late for that it was not published when the general voice of the people had seald it for good and the newnesse of it made it much more desired then at this time For Plaies in this Citie are like wenches new falne to the trade onelie desired of your neatest gallants whiles the' are fresh when they grow stale they must be vented by Termers and Cuntrie chapmen I know not how this labor will please Sure J am it past the censure of the Stage with a generall applause now whether vox populi be vox dei or no that I leaue to be tried by the accute iudgement of the famous six wits of the Citie Farewell Actorum Nomina Glister A Doctor of Physicke Purge A Iealous Pothecarie Dryfat A Marchant a brother of the Family Gerardine A Louer Lypsalue Two Gallants that only pursue Citty Lechery Guggin Two Gallants that only pursue Citty Lechery Club A Prentice Viall Seruant to Glister Smelt and Periwincle Pages to the Gallants Weomen Mystrisse Glister Mistrisse Purge An Elder in the Family Maria Neece to Glister PROLOGVS IF for opinion hath not blazd his fame Nor expectation filld the generall round You deeme his labors slight you both confound Your grauer iudgement and his merits Impartiall hearing fits iudicious spirits Nor let the fruit of many an hower fall By enuies tooth or base detractions gall Both which are tokens of such abiect spirits Which wanting worth themselues hate other merits Or els of such which once made greate by fame Repine at those which seeke t' attaine the same From both we know all truer iudgements free To them our muse with blushing modestie Patiently to her intreats their fauour Which done with iudgement praise or els dislike the labour ACTVS PRIMVS Actus Primus scena prima Enter Doctor Glister his wife and Maria Glister TRickes and showes protestations with men are like teares with weomen forgot ere the cheeke be drie Gerardine is a gentleman his Lands be in Statutes A is not for thee nor thou for him a is a Gallant and yong thoughts be most vnconstant Ma. Yet yong vines yeeld most wine Mist. Glist. But old veynes the best beleeue not these great breecht gallants they loue for profit not for affection if a brings thee to a fooles paradice a will forsake thee Glist. VVhich fortune God send my enemy Loue is a colde heate a bitter sweete a pleasure full of paine a huge losse and no gaine why shouldst thou loue him onely Ma. VVords cannot force what destiny hath seald VVho can resist the influence of his stars Or giue a reason why a loues or hates Since our affections are not ruld by will But will by our affections T is blasphemy Gainst Loues most sacred deity to axe VVhy we do loue since t is his onely power That swayes all our affections all things which be Beasts Birds Men Gods pay him their fealty Glister Tut Loue is an idle phantasie bred by desire nurst by delight An humour that begins his dominion in Leo the Lyon the signe of the hart and ends in Aries the Ram the signe of the head His power is to stir the bloud prickes vp the flesh fills all the body with a libidinous humour and is indeed the ouerture of all Ladies which to preuent J haue banisht Gerardine your dearly beloued my house and as for you since I Lyp. In her smile deceitfull Gug. Jn her hate reuengeable Lip And in nothing but her death acceptable I le tell thee ther 's no creature more desirous of an honest name and worse keepes it then a woman Dost heere follow this song if euer thou forsake thy Country for a wagtayle let me be whipt to death with ladies hearelaces Gera. Let ts heere that worthy song Gentill master Lipsalue Lips Obserue Now if I list will I loue no more Nor longer waite vpon a gill Since euery place now yeeldes a wench If one will not another will And if what I haue heard be true Then young and old and all will doe How dost thou like this man Gerar. No more no more This is the chamber which Confines my loue This is the Abstract of the spacious world VVithin it holds a Iemm so ritch so rare That Arte or nature neuer yet could set A valued prise to her in valued worth Lip Vnvalued worth ha ha ha VVhy shee s but a woman And they are windy turning veins loue light as chaffe which when Our nourishing graynes are winnow'd from them Vnconstantly they flye at the least wind of passion A womans eye can turne it selfe with quick dexterity And in each wanton glasse can comprehend Theyr sundry fancy suted to each fend tut their loues are all compact of leuitie euen like themselues Nil muliere lenius Gug. Tut man euery one knowes their woorth when they are at a rack rent In the tearm time they beare as great a prise as wheat when transportations are Gera. Peace le ts draw nere the window and listen if we may heare her Enter Maria at the window Ma. Debard of liberty Oh that this flesh could like swift mouing thoughts transfer it selfe From place to place vnseen and vndisolued Then should no yron ribbes or Churlish flinte diuide my loue and mee Deer Gerardin despight of Chaunce or Gardians Tyranny Jde mooue within thy orbe and thou in myne Lip She 'd mooue within thy orbe and thou in hers blud she talk bawdy to her selfe Guggin stand close Ma. But in vaine do I proclaime my greefe when ayre and walls can yeeld me no reliefe Gug. The walls are the more stony harted then Lip Peace good Gudgin gape not so loude Ma. Come thou my best companion thou art sensible and canst my wrongs reitterate Thou and I will make some myrth in spight of Tyranny The black brow'd night drawn in her pithie wayne In starry spangled pride rides now ore heaune Now is the time when stealing minutes tell The stole delight ioyd by all faythfull louers Now louing souls contriue both place meanes for wished pastimes onely I am pent within the closure of this fatall wall depriued of all my ioyes Ger. My deare Maria be Comforted in this the frame of heauen shall sooner sease to moue bright Phaebus Steeds leaue their diurnall race and all that is forsake their naturall beeing Ere I forget thy loue Ma. Who 'es that protestes so fast Ger. Thy euer vowed seruant Gerardine Ma. O By your vows it seemes you 'd faine get vp Lip I and ryde
Gentry Do. Glist. Then sir know I le effect it but vnderstand withal the apparition will be most horrid if it appeare in his proper forme and will so amaze and dull your sences that your appetite will be lost and weake though mistrisse Purge should attend it naked Now sir could you name a friend with whome you are most conuersant in his likenesse should the spirit appeare Gud. Of all men liuing my conuersation is most frequent with Lipsalue the Courtier Doct. Gli. T is ynough I le to my Spirit are these whips come there Enter one with whips Man Ready here sir Doct. Glist. So lie thou there my noble gallants I le so firke you Sir my Spirit agrees in Lipsalues shape to morrow twixt the howres of foure and fiue shall mistrisse Purge be rapt with a whirlwind into Lypsalues chamber that 's the fittest place for by the breake of day Lipsalue shall be mounted and forsake the City for three dayes so my Spirit resolues me Now sir by my Art at that very houre shall his chamber doore fly open into which boldly enter in this sort accoutered put me on a pure cleane shirt leaue off your doublet for Spirits indure nothing polluted take me this whip in your hand and being entred you shall see the Spirit in Lipsalues shape in the selfe same forme that you appeare speake these words here ready written take three bold steps forward then whippe him soundly who straight vanisheth and leaues mistris Purge to your will Gud. I but shall your Spirit come arm'd with a whippe too Do. Glist. He shall but haue no power to strike Gud. Is this infallible haue you seen the proofe Do. Glist. Probatum vpon my word I haue seene the experience if it fayle say I am a foole and no Magician Gud. Master Doctor I would you had some suite at Court by the faith of a Courtier J would beg it for you Fare you well Sir I shall reporte of you as I find your charme Exit Doct. Glist. And no otherwise sir let me vnderstand how you thriue ha ha ha now to my friend Lipsalue I must possesse him with the same circumstance wherein J am assured to get perpetuall laughter in their follies and my reuenge Exit Enter Maria ouer the Trunke Ma. O which way shall J turne or shift or goe To loose one thought of care no soothing hope Giues entermission or beguiles one howre Of tedious Time which neuer will haue end Whilst loue pursues in vayne my absent friend Thou continent of wealth whose want of stoare For that it could not peiz th vnequall Scale Of Auarice giu'st matter to my moane O drosse the leauell of insatiate Eyes The Diuells Engine and the soules corrupter Thou plaist th' Atturney gainst the lawfull force Of true affection dost enterpose a Barr twixt Harts conioyn'd Curst be thy seede of strife VVhose progresse choakes the naturall course of life Gerardine rising out of the Trunke she seemes fearefull and flyes Ma. O helpe helpe helpe Ger. Stay sweet Maria I bring thee ample ioy To check that sudden feare let thy sweet heart That constant seate of thy affection Repay that bloud exhausted from thy vaines Feare not sweet wench I am no apparition But the firme substance of thy truest friend Knowst thou me now Ma. Gerardine my loue What vnheard of accident presents Thy vnexpected selfe and giues my heart Matter of ioy mixt with astonishment I thought thou hadst bin cabyn'd in thy ship Not Trunkt within my cruell gardyans house Ger. That cruelty giues fuell to desire For loue supprest fares like a raging fire which burnes all obstacles that stop his course And mounts aloft the Ocean in his source May easier hide himselfe and be confynd Then Loue can be obscurd For in the mind She holds her seate and through that heau'nly essence Is neare when farre remote her virtuall presence Fills like the Ayr all places giues delight Hope in despaire and hart gainst fell despite That worst of men thy cruell gardyan may Keepe downe a while but cannot dissipate what heau'n hath ioynd for fate and prouidence Gaue me this Stratagem to let him know That Loue will creepe where t is restraynd to go Ma. I apprehend the rest O rare conceit I see thy trauell happily was faynd To win accesse which with small ease thou hast gaynd This Trunk which he so greedily supposes Contaynes thy substance as it doth indeed Vpon thy fayre pretence in liew of loue Bequeath'd to me if death should stop the course This Trunk J say he hugs sink thou or swim So he may feed his wolfe that roote of Sin His Auarice but heauen that mocks mans might Giues this close meanes t' incist vpon our right Ger. Ingenious Spirit true Oracle of loue Thou hast preuented me this was my plot Whose end and scope I long to imitate With accents free and vncontrolld with feare Do's oportunity stand fayre Ma. Not now Daunger stands centinell Ger. Then I le retyre We must be cautilous Ma. So so and Tyme Shall not oft turne his howr glasse ere I le find Peace and occasion fitting to thy mind Exeunt Finis Actus Secundi ACTVS TERTIVS Actus Tertius scena prima Enter Gerardine and Maria Ger. THe coast is cleare and Argus wakefull eies Securely sleep time turnes to vs his front Come sweet Maria of th' auspicious howres Le ts take aduantage Ma. With all my hart J do imbrace the motion with thy selfe Welcome sweet friend to liberty of Ayer Which now me thinks doth promp our breaths to moue Sweet accents of delight the ioyes of loue How dost thou brooke thy little ease thy Trunk Ger. That Trunke confines this Chest this Chest contaynes Th' vnbounded speculacion of our loue Incomprehensible Griefe ioy hope and feares Thaffections of my mind are like the spheares VVhich in their iarring motions do agree Through th' influence of loues sweet harmony Ma. Are not inferiour bodies here on earth Produc'd and gouern'd by those heauenly ones Ger. They are Ma. They iar you say yet in that strife maintaine Perpetuall league why should their influence In rationall soules be checkt by erring sence Or why should mutuall loue confirmd by heau'n B' infringd by men me thinks t is most vneuen Ger. Thou argu'st well Maria and this withall That Bruites nor Animalls do proue a thrall To such seruility soules that are wards To gold opinion or th' undue regards Of broking men wolues that in sheep-skin bands Pray on the harts to ioyne th' vnwilling hands Ruine fayre Stocks when generous houses die Or propagate their name with Bastardy Ma. Sterility and barennes ensue Such forced loue nor shall erronious men Peruert my setled thoughts or turne mine eye From thy fayre obiect which I will pursue Rich in thy loue prowde of this interuiew Ger. I le suck these accents let our breaths ingender A generation of such pleasing sounds To enterchange delights O my bloud 's on fire Sweet let me giue more scope
to Ger. I would most lou'd Maria Ma. I knew it he that to get vp to a fair woman will stick to vow and swear may be accounted no man but tell me why hast thou chose this hower to visite me which nor the day nor night can clayme but both or neyther why in this twylight camst thou Ger. T' auoyd suspitious eies I come deare loue To take my last farewell fitting this hower which nor bright day will clame nor pitchy night An hower sit to part conioyned soules Since that my natiue soyle will not affoord My wisht and best content I will forsake it And proue more strange to it then it to me In times swift course all things shall find euent Bee it good or ill destenies do graunt That most preposterous courses often gaine What labor and direct proceedings misse Mar. VVo't thou forsake me then Ger. Let first blest life forsake me be constant My absence may procure thy more enlarge and then Ma. Desires conceit is quick I apprehend thee Be thou as loyal as I constant proue And time shall knit our mutuall knot of loue VVear this my loues true pledge I need not wish I know thou wo't returne or will I say Thou mayst conceale thy selfe being return'd till I may make escape and visite thee I prethe loue attempt not to ascend my Chamber window by a lathered rope th' entrance is to narrow except this post VVhich may with ease yet that is dangerous I pre thee do it not I heere some call Farwell my constant loue let after actions tel Exit Maria Ger. O perfection of women A plague of such perfectiō How she woes by negatiues shows Gug. Thee what to do vnder colour of disswation Ger. Shee s truely vertuous Lip Tut man outward apparance is no authentick instance of the inward desires women haue sharp faulcons eyes and can soare aloft but keepe them like Faulcons from flesh and they soone stoope to a gawdy lure Gera. Why then Hugonot women are admirable Angells Gugg. But Angels make them admirable diuels Gera. My loues chast smile to all the world doth speake hir spotles innocence Lipsalue Womens smiles are more of custome then of curtesy women are creatures their hearts and they are full of holes apte to receiue but not retaine affection Thou wilt to morrow thou saist be gone if thou wilt know the worst of a Cuntries marrie before thou goest for if thou canst indure a curst wife neuer care what company thou comest in Gerar. Come merry gallants will you associate me to my Cousin Purges the Potticaries and take part of my parting feasts to night Gug. O his wife is of the family of Loue I le thither perhaps I may proue of the Fraternity in time wee le thither that 's flat Exeunt omnes Act. 1. Sena 3. Enter Mistrisse Purge Sola What Club Club is Club within there Enter Club. Club. Mistrisse Mist. Purge J pray what said Master Doctor Glister will a come Club. A sent word a would for a was but to carry a diet to one of his pacients what call you hir she that paints a day times and lookes faire and freshe on the outside but in the night time is filthier then the inside of Bocardo and is indeed far more vnsauory that know her forsooth Mist. Pur. Went a to hir Club. A had a receipt for the Grincomes in his hand and a said a would take that in his way Mist. Pur. T is well and what guest besides him his wife will be here at supper Club. The first in my Account is Master Gerarine your cousin Master Doctor Glister and his wife Master Drifat the Marchant Master Lipsalue the Courtier Master Guggin the gallant and their pages These J take will be your full number Mi. Pur. Then belike my roome shall be stuft with Courtiers and gallants to night of all men I loue not these gallants they 'le prate much but do little they are people most vncertaine They vse great words but little sence great Beards but little wit Great breeches but no mony Club. That was the last thing they swore away Mi. Pur. Belike they cannot fetch it againe with swearing for if they could ther 's not a page of theirs but wod be as rich as a monarch Club. Ther 's nothing mistrisse that is sworne out of date that returnes their first oath in times past was by the Masse And that they haue sworne quite away Then came they to their Fayth as by my Faith t' is so That in a short tyme was sworn away too For no man beleeues now more then a sees Then they swore by their honesties and that Mistrisse you know is sworne quite away After their honestyes was gone then came they to their Gentilitie and swore as they were Gentlemen and their Gentilitie they swore awaye so fast that they had almost sworne away all the Auncient Gentrie out of the Land which indeede are scarce mist for that Yeomen and Farmars Sonnes with the helpe of a few welchmen haue vndertooke to supplie their places That at the last they came to Siluer and their Oath was by the Crosse of this siluer and swore so fast vppon that that now they haue scarce left them a Crosse for to Sweare by Mist. Purge And what do they sweare by now their mony is gone Club. VVhy by and God refuse them Mist. Pur. And can they not as well say men refuse them as God refuse them Club. No mistrisse for men especially Cittizens and riche men haue refused them their bonds and protestations allready Enter Master Purge Mistrisse Pur. T is well see how supper goes forward and that my shooes be very well blackt against J goe to the Familye Exit Club. Now sweet Chick where hast thou beene in troth law I am not well J had thought to haue spent the morning at the Family but now I am resolued to take pills and therefore I prey thee desire Doctor Glister that a wud minister to me in the morning Mast. Pur. Thy will is known and this for answer say T is fit that wisemen should their wiues obay And now sweete duck know I haue beene for my cousin Gerardines Will and haue it a has giuen thee a legacy but the totall is Marias Enter Master Glister Master Dryfatt and Mistrisse Glister Master Doctour your wife and master Dryfat are most welcome now were my cousin Gerardine Master Lipsalue here our number were complete Do. Glist. Is this franticke Will done will master Gerardine to sea let me tell you I am no whit sorry let such as will be headstrong bite on the bridle Ma. Purge T is here master Doctor all his worth is Marias and lockt in a trunke which by to morrow Sun shall be deliuered to your custody Dry. Me thinks t' were a reasonable match to bestow your Neece on master Gerardine A is a most hopefull gentleman and his reuenue such that hauing your Neeces portion to clere it of all incombraunces t' will
waye t is as soone taken as Tyme by his forepart Gud. Faith since he has strooke with the sword strike you with the Scabbard in plaine termes Cuckold him you may as easilie do 't as lye downe o' your bed Doct. This geare cottens yfaith Mi Gli I apprehend you gentlemen Lord how much better are two heads then one to make one large head Lip You say true mistrisse Glister ther 's help requird in grafting and how happily we come to tender our seruice let our pretence be to take physicke of the Doctor and that he may with as much ease minister to vs as we to you wee 'l take a lodging in his house Gud. How say you to this is the colour good do'st like you Mist. Glist. Passing well the colour is so good that you shall weare my fauour out o' the same peece Lip Excellent excellent now shall we be reuengd for the whipping mistrisse Glister let me be your first man Gud Nay soft sir I ply'd her as soone as you Doct. I shold haue an oare in her boate too by right spoke by Lip How ill aduisd were you to marry one with a red beard Mi. Gli. O master Lipsalue I am not the first that has falne vnder that ensigne ther 's no complexion more atractiue in this time for weomen then gold and red beards such men are all liuer Gud. J but small hart and lesse honesty Lip Yes they are honest too in some kind for they le beg before they 'l steale Gud. That 's true for for one that holds vp his hand at the Sessions you shall haue ten come into the baudy Court Doct. VVas euer Beard so backbitten this were ynough to make red beards turne medley and dash 'hem cleane out of countenance but I hope like mine they feare no colours and you were ten Courtiers I le front you I must giue you physick with a pox well if I pepper ye not call me Doctor Doddipoll Master Lipsalue and master Gudgin you are hartily welcome I am very glad to see you well Lip O master Doctor your salutation is very suspitious Doct. Why master Lipsalue Lip It can scarce be harty for physitians are rather glad to see men ill then well Doct. Not so sir you must distinguish of men though this J know vertue is not the end of all science which commonly keeps the professor poore some study questuary and gainfull Arts and euery one would thriue in 's calling but yfaith gentlemen what wind driues you hither Gud. The wind Collect master Doctor or some such disease Doct. But not the Stone Collect Lip O no sir we haue no obstructions in those parts we are loose ynough there Doct. If you were troubled with that my wife can tell you of an excellent remedy Gud. We need it not we need it not but indeed master Doctor for some priuate infirmities which our waters shal make knowne to you we desire to take some physick of you for a few daies and to that end we would take a lodging in your house during the time Lip Shall we intreate your fauour Doct. No entreaty gentlemen you shall commaund me to search the very profundity of my skill for you Haue them in wife and show them their lodging I will thinke vpon an other receipt and follow you immediatly Gud. And yfaith we shall requite your paines to the full Exeunt Lipsalue Gudgin Mistrisse Glister Doct. To the foole you meane I know you ha the horne of plenty for me which you would deriue vnto me from the liberality of your bawdies not your minds here are Lordes that hauing learnd the O.P.Q. of Courtship trauell vp and down among Cittizens wiues to shew their learning and bringing vppe as if the City were not already a good proficient in the Court Hornebooke yes I warrant they haue heads as capable as other men I and some of them can wisely say with the philosopher that in knowing all they know nothing VVell because I am of the Liuery and pay Scot and Lot amongst you doe but obserue how I le fetch ouer my gallants for your sakes they say I am of the right hayre and indeed they may stand too 't and hould the position good sauing with my wife soft are they not at pro and contra already I knowe they are hote spurres and I must haue an eye to the maine They haue bin whipt already for lechery and yet the pride of the flesh pricks 'hem well I must in I haue giuen them such a Pill shall take 'hem downe for lust must haue his fill Exit Enter Maria aboue Ma Now natures pensill and the hand of time Giues life and lym to generations Act My shame and guilt in wordles notes appeare The argument of scorne O now J stand The Theame and coment to each liberall tongue Whilst hope breeds comfort and feare threats my wrong O Gerardine how oft thy liuely figure Deadly impressed in my yeelding temper Assures me thou art mine how fancy paynts Thy true proportion in my troubled sleepe Because sole subiect of my dayly thoughts O if thy vowes proue fayn'd and thou vniust I say and sweare in men there is no trust Enter Gerardine Ger. Thus haue J past the Round and Court of Guard Without the word either conceipt is strong Or else the Body where true lou 's confin'd VValkes as a Spirit and doth force his way Through greatest dangers frightfull to those eies That wayt to entercept him Maria How like to Cynthia in her siluer Orbe She seems to me attended by loues Lampe VVhose mutuall Jnfluence and soules sympathy Doth shew heauens modell in mortality Ma. Gerardine Aurora now the blushing Sons aproache D'art not more comfort to this Vniuerse Then thou to me most acceptably come The Art of number cannot count the howres Thou hast bin absent Ger. Infinity of Loue Holds no proportion with Arithmetick Thinke not Maria but my hart retaynes A deepe impression of such thoughts as these I haue bin forging of a myrthfull Plot To celebrate our wisht Coniunction Which now digested come to summon thee To be an Actresse in the Comedy Ma. How where whē speake myne eares are quick to heare I stand on thornes already to be there Ger. At Dryfats house the Marchant ther 's our Scene Whose sequell if I fail not in intent Shall answer our desires and each content But when saw'st thou Lipsalue and Gudgin our two gallants Ma. They are heere in the house so handled by myne vncle that they are the pittifullest patients that euer you beheld Ger. No matter he serues them in their kind they were infamous in the Court now are grown as notorious in the City they may happily proue particles in our sport fit subiects for laughter Tyme calls me hence adieu prepare to meet Ma. I shall outstrip the nimblest in my feet Exeunt Act. 5. Scaena vltima Enter Dryfat and Club. Dry. Come Club come ther 's a merry Fray towards we shall see