all the kindness tenderness and care imaginable to be always ready to instruct him in every good and vertuous Exercise to be most exact in teaching him all the excellent and noble Accomplishments which his Condition Estate and Quality so much deserve to suffer him in and to procure him all the moderate and Innocent Pleasures and Recreations that may be had and to indulge him and love him as his own Soul is a thing tho frequently yet very commendable and is something that will bind a generous Disposition far stronger than the Obligations that proceed from Power Fear and constrained Obedience But then for such a Parent by his over violent zeal and too eager desire after his Sons Happiness by an unlucky blow to ruin him at once beyond all relief is a thing most strange unaccountable and prodigious I am extreamly sorry that I can truly say 't is a thing that has been often done and practised and that too by such Parents whose good Reputations Gravity Prudence and Ingenuity would have spoke far better things for them and one would have thought might have taught them more Vertue Piety and Honesty or at least more Wit and Discretion than out of a foolish Humour scarce worthy of such a care to imbitter their Childrens Happiness and entail Misery upon their Famelies for succeeding Ages When I come to consider the strange cares and troubles that Parents have for their Childrens sake 't is then and only then that I am ready to think almost all Marriages unhappy and unfortunate but on the other side when I look upon the sweet comforts and pleasant satisfaction they receive from their good behaviour and their hopes they feed themselves withal of their proving well when they see nothing to the contrary I find those are Engines strong and powerful enough to hold them up and to keep them from sinking under a load of cares and concerns Parents Lives are often like those of Poets and Gamesters who can very rarely arrive to the pleasure of being cool and at rest their busie Souls and overwhelm'd Desires are continually in flame which never suffers them to have a calm and even temper but makes them always either in Raptures or Dispair according as their good or bad Fortune requires it 'T is their overdoing of things which commonly ruins their Designs and breaks all their measures their excess of Love makes their Children bold impudent and sausie their overmuch Care and desire for them makes them idle careless and undutiful the Jealousie makes them mistrustful disdainful and to hate and slight their Commands and their Rigidness cramps and destroys all their generous thoughts and corrupts the Morals Yet they think many times they can mould them as they please and incline their minds as they think fit and because they suppose their Children do not know what is good for themselves their threats must drive them to it which destroys the very essence and nature of Good of Marriage and when they have once got them coupled to an Estate and a few Titles they think they have done all tho perhaps they have undone all and ruined them to all intents and purposes That no man might think that I have said any thing out of Ill Will or Prejudice I do freely and sincerely declare that I have so good an Opinion of all Parents and particularly of these sorts I am treating of that I cannot so much as suppose any of them to desire or heartily wish their Children the least Hurt or Injury much less their lasting Misery or Ruin tho we find several upon the account of Faults and Disobedience to have put extraordinary ill things upon their Children and such as they themselves must needs know to be hard and cruel But when I go about to aquit them of this Vice I must of necessity accuse them of an insufferable piece of Folly besides a horrible Sin which I shall mention to them by and by when they think to make that Match happy which begins with hatred and loathing and this is a ridiculous thing which men of their Age and Experience can never be supposed to be ignorant of They may as well hope to see the Poles of the Heavens meet or make Fire and Water agree as the Loves Inclinations and Affections of some Persons Young Peoples Humours and Passions are very often strange and ungovernable and such as are impossible to unite and Fathers are not to imagine that their Children are like Trees in which they can graft different Humours and Inclinations as well as different Fruits But some Parents who beginning to perceive and reflect upon the miserable and deplorable Effects of the hard and severe Usage their Pity flowing in a-pace do still flatter themselves with the hopes that time should ease them and help to set all to rights again And this is the common and threadbare Pretence that all Parents make use of to excuse their Severity and Injustice for say they tho the Wound be wide and troublesom yet the Cure is not very hard time and balmy Blood with a little care will make all well again But sad Experience confutes this and shews it to be altogether false and frivolous for we constantly find that length of times and days do very rarely produce any sort of cure for this Distemper as it has been often hoped for but for the most part rather encreasing the Torment for these Wounds are like the breaches of Ships and Vessels which time only makes wider but can never stop up which as the frequent and common Diseases of Old Age and Years growing worse and worse till kind Death comes and puts an end to all Only sometimes we happen of an Ingenious Pious Person who has got the Stoical knack of slighting all troubles and caring for nothing and to ease himself in this case will be sure to cause his Wives Money to gingle make havock on her Cash and the Yellow Boys fly merrily about like dirt in his Cups once ran home to bestow three or four or half a dozen genteel curses upon his kind hearted Parents by way of thanks and briskly and finely pass away his time among the honourable Society of Chimney Sweepers and Porters As for Emperors Kings and such kind of Persons as those I shall not dare to presume to meddle withall or concern my self in this case nor will I venture to determine any thing in the Mysterious Matters of State But to all others I must take the boldness to tell them that this is a very heinous Offence and piece of Wickedness that can never be let pass unregarded They indeed may make the Minister joyn their hands but the Marriage can never be compleat or lawful till their hearts be joyned too this being a most perfect violation of their Native Freedom and to be forced this way is the worst and most miserable of all slaveries Neither can these Parents any ways acquit themselves of making their Children guilty of two
Father of a Daughter in which he places so great a part of his Delight to take his deerest Jewel from him and violently to tear a lovely Blooming Sprig which he has Nurished with so much care and tenderness And though the Night promises well the Horse stands at the Gate the Doors open the Riding-Grown's on the Lady ready the Parson waiting and all things smile and favour the Design running very smothly a long yet in a short time after they are chain'd together the Magick ceaseth the Inchanted Castle Vanishes into fleeting Air the Tempest rises and whole showers of Afflictions fall thick imbittering all their Joys and destroying all their fine expectations Secondly Let them all consider what a high piece of Imprudence 't is for a man so dangerously to venture himself with a young Creature whose fickle Fancy turns like the wind and whose ungrounded Love oft upon such accounts meet with its cold and loathing Fits and curdles to Hatred in a few hours time which by the overswaying power of flattering and and threatning Friends may bring his Life at her Mercy Besides if he marry such when her Portion is not certain he commits a double Folly to no purpose and then his Love for Mony has left him in a very sweet pickle indeed But now to come a little closer to the business of Marrying without Friends consent and to shew the greatness of this Offence It always ought to be considered that Nature has given to Parents an extraordinary Power over their Children making far greater distinctions here than in any other Persons whatsoever And as this sort of Government is certainly the most natural of any so all other Governments seem rather to have been made in imitation of this First Method being for the most part Acquired by Usurpation and meer Force and increased by the Strength and Policy of more crafty heads As Parents Authority is great so ought Childrens Obedience to be great too and all the Amends and Satisfaction they are ever able to make for their bringing of them into the World Education Estates and the like is only a dutiful complyance to all their just Commands and a hearty desire of performing all their good Wishes Here it is that a Young Man shews his noble temper as well as humble disposition and 't is this that Heaven promises such peculiar Blessings to and that the World has so oft crown'd with its just Applauses As Marriage is the greatest concern and the Principal thing in which a Parent always takes most care and to see them well Matched is as much as to see 'em made happy So for a Son or a Daughter to be disobedient to this is the greatest piece of Rebellion as well as the highest point of Ingratitude they can well be guilty of This indeed has made many a Father and that with Justice too utterly cast off a hot-brain Son from all his future care and whose unlucky Curses have hit him so right and stuck so close to him ever after as have driven him to the utmost Miseries that attend Poverty and Rags The greatness of this Crime few young Persons consider especially since they are commonly so extreamly partial and self-conceited of their own Prudence and Judgment in choosing laughing at their own Parents and Friends thinking them all very unfit Persons to consult withal and not Good or Wise enough to choose for them but will run madly and furiously on big with the expectation of some wonderful Charms and extraordinary Bliss till they are soon foundred and lost like one that rides a fiery Steed that stops at nothing but runs at Swelling Rivers Craggy Rocks and Deadly Precipices till the Rider is hurl'd off and dashed in pieces These are the surious transports of Harebrain Youth who run mad for a Face and ruin themselves for a meer trifle If all things be throughly and carefully considered such a Crime as this must appear extraordinary soul and infamous and of such a Base Nature as can never be excused by an unconcerned Stander by such as I profess my self to be To have a kind indulgent Father whose softest Wishes and greatest Joys always attend his Sons good Fortune careful of him even to the raging Passion of Jealousie to bestow his utmost Pains use his greatest endeavours and still racking his contriving Head both day and night and all with the joyful expectation of his Sons being great and happy after his death and placing the greatest part of his own Happiness in his then to have a stubborn ungreateful Son to dash and overturn the whole Fabrick of his great Designs and by one unlucky Cast blast all his thriving hopes at once This is too much for a Father to bear and then 't is no wonder to see a Parent tho never so gentle and good Natured decree the utmost severitys and at one blow to lop off a Monstrous Excrescency That this Offence is punished with Disinheritance there 's scarce any thing more common and a Father in this case is very seldom much blamed or reckoned severe or unjust for when a Son or Daughter have by their Disobedience broke their Fathers Heart and and have thrown him off as a Person that has nothing to do with them he has a good and honest Plea to leave them to themselves Some Fathers indeed are often glad to find such an Excuse when they have a mind to put off their Daughters without Portions because they are sure that this will certainly vindicate their Proceedings to the inquiring World So that it is most apparent that this is a far greater Crime than most young People take it to be so that for a man of Ingenuity and Generosity to be guilty of such a fault to me seems very inconsistant Neither can I well conceive how a man of sense can ever excuse himself from such a prodigious piece of Ingratitude since that of all other Vices is justly esteem'd the basest and meanest and of such a Nature that even those Persons who have seemed to make their business and design to act and brag of all other Rogueries are yet ashamed of that and are very careful to conceal it as a thing that can get them no manner of Commendation or Applause not so much as among their rude Companions But let us now spend a thought or two about the Female Sex As for those Nature has seem'd to take a more peculiar Care in moulding them and making them more easie and compliant and of giving them a softer and more flexible Disposition sinely adapted to Obedience But to the Male it has afforded a stronger and more governing Nature and has given them more Power and Command Therefore Obedience and Compliance in the Female seems more convenient and necessary as being more suitable and natural And if all things be rightly considered they are not to expect to be their own Carvers in all things nor to have so large a right in choosing as Men Their Friends
we know any thing of it The Old Men indeed come bluntly to their Sons and tell them that Beauty will buy no Beef a course Complement to one up to the Ears in Love But the Young Men as pertly reply It will buy Content which is far better an Answer truly sufficient and of full force we grant if it were as true as the other But this we frequently find so far from procuring any real satisfaction or Content that it has many times been the primary Cause of the greatest Miseries and Afflictions that can befall a Marryed Life And if Prejudice be wholly laid aside 't will easily be seen that scarce ever any Marriage has been on both sides happy that had no other Foundation than what comes from the Charms of outside Beauty which indeed is far more fit to increase a Mans Appetite than to settle any true Liking and will sooner procure Fondness than real Love the fatal Effects of which is Jealousie that cursed Bane to all the Pleasures of the Marriage-Bed which makes their best Delights a raging Torment and turns the greatest Blessings into the greatest Plagues So that to have this without Virtue is a thing that none but stupid and sensless Persons would endure For then 't is like a hot burning Coal whose bright and sparkling looks many may gaze on with admiration enough but none but Fools and Madmen are willing or daring enough to touch For who but such a Madman would for the gratifying of his fancy run and throw himself into the devouring Flames Who for a few transient fits of Joy would part with all the Pleasures of his soft and sweet Repose Who for the Honour of Embracing a painted Cloud would forfeit both his Heaven of Content here and his Heaven of Happiness hereafter by being always upon the rack of Jealousie and tormenting Fears least his Beautiful Jezebel prove false and another admire that Phantastical Face which he himself formerly doated on Let us consider Beauty by its self and quite stript of all those Ornaments she borrows from the Arts and Tricks of others for her upper Decorations she gets from common Shop keepers and Tyre-women her lower ones from Taylors and Brokers and her sweet ravishing Complexion very often from a little Stuff that comes from a Painters Pencil which sometimes dawbs her over like a Sign Post There uniting all their Force do dress her up as gay as possible and are as extravagant if it can be as our unbounded Fancies I say if we seriously reflect on all this we should not find it so considerable as to make us forget our greatest Blessings our Freedoms to enjoy it nor yet so permanent as to make us hope for any lasting Pleasures from it For when 't is never so natural a small fit of Siokness oft takes away the superficial part of it and a few years Children and Ill Nature do take away all the rest of the varnished Features Then the hot fit of Passion soon turns to the cold one of loathing and all those soft Joys and charming Pleasures which raging and unruly Desires expected to meet withal dull Fruition and Experience finds absent and nothing left but a rotten decayed Vessel bereft of all that 's good and emptied of all its Delights So that Young Persons are under a very strange mistake when they think Beauty alone can make any Marriage happy for this they may be most certain of that whatsoever Love has no stronger legaments than what proceed from thence besides the Racks of Doubts and Jealousies which so often attend it can never last any longer than that will no more than that Love which is grounded on Mony can outlast the spending of it There are several other things besides Beauty which makes many a Woman be loved and admired and oft cause Young Persons to transgress the Duty they owe to their Parents as Good Nature a fine Carriage a quick Wit and a sweet Voice and all these have each their peculiar Charms and are admired by many men and perhaps with justice too as much as Beauty it self Yet for all that when every one of these unite their Power and Forces and meet together in one Woman which is certainly as strong and mighty temptation for Youth to encounter withal they are many times misfortunes when abstracted from vertue rather than Advantages and Plagues rather than Blessings there being all to be found in many a common Prostitute and in the very worst of Women Neither indeed can these procure any manner of satisfaction or real content when true Love Vertuous Inclinations and a Competency are wanting the two former being absolutely necessary to make firm their Happiness and keep it so perpetually and the latter to gain Friends consents and to crown all their Joys Now what man in his right wits that has the least grain of consideration in him would ever be so grosly silly and sensless as to marry a Woman though endowed with all the forementioned Charms that he knew for certain did not really love him or had not Vertue or Honour to continue that Love Certainly he can have no manner of regard to his Quiet and Happiness in this Life or must be most strangely ignorant of the means and way to it who shall thus foolishly plunge himself into the midst of an Ocean of Doubts which will be a devouring Torment and a perpetual Rack to his Mind if he has any thing of Life or Soul in him Yet he that marries a Person without his Parents consent the want of an Estate being supposed to hinder their consent though perhaps he is not absolutely certain his Mistress don't love him yet he can never be certain she does or that she don't love his Mony far better than himself which if he knows he 's doubly mad to marry her For when all such Persone first set their hearts upon that as it is most frequent in this case they mind little else but those ill Properties and ridiculous vanities that all mean Persons so much seek after and what is more usual than to have Mercinary Spirits soon lose all sense of Generosity or Gratitude Some Persons are of Opinion that if they marry with them of Inferiour Rank they can manage them as they please and do verily believe that gratitude will always be a sufficient Obligation to bind them to all Affection Love Respect and Obedience and by this means they propose to themselves strange and wonderful things and their contrivances the best ordered and the most ingeniously invented that can be for their quiet and content But such a Person ought to be put among the Cautious Sir Solomons Projectors and be sure to meet with no better luck than he for this is a vain and foolish supposition fit for only the unthinking part of the World and contradicting all common Experience For that constantly shews us that he that takes his Maid for his Consort finds her no less Proud and Imperious than he