were as many paied vse for loue as doe in these dayes pay vse for money Then should they be no whit impouerished lesse in the vsurers books more in Gods and so would it be a better world Min. Whereas you say you loue the godly it may be that is onely because they are friendly to you or because you receiue or hope to receiue some outward kindnes and benefit from some such if your loue be no other than this it is but selfe-loue beeing grounded meerely vpon your owne priuate commoditie and this kinde of loue may bee found in an vnregenerate and carnall man Con. It is not so with me for though happily I may regard some such for some such respects as you name yet if I should not loue the child of God for his own sake and for his and my fathers sake more than I loue my worldly friend for my cōmodities sake or my kinsman for neerenesse of bloud I should bee void of any sparke of true heauenly loue therfore I chiefly loue the godly for their goodnes and godlinesse sake the ground of my loue vnto them is the image of god in them This is that diuine load-stone which drawes my affection toward them Minist How can you make it appeare that you loue them with a right affection Con. Thus 1. because I loue some such in the * In abstracto abstract euen when they are seuered and separate from all externall respects and grounds of loue to mee-ward as 4 Notes of true loue to Gods children when I heare or reade of the zeale piety constancy heauenly vertues and gracious endeauours of the worthy seruants of God such as I neuer knew nor had any dealing with yet I finde that I loue them and feele the affection of my heart spreading it selfe towards them to embrace them which cannot be for carnal respects nor worldly hopes for it may bee some of them are dead and gone and thus I loue the Saints departed which are now in heau'n sometimes also I haue knowne and loued some worthy Christians who then haue flowed with worldly prosperity but after haue fallen to a very low ebbe of great aduersity when the world hath bidde them adieu friends wealth goods haue altogether taken their leaues yet then haue I loued them as dearely as euer I did before whereby it appeared that my loue was not grounded vpon worldly regards which all forsooke them but vpon their goodnes and godlines which still continued with them Secondly I much affect the godly and delight exceedingly in their cōpanie yea of such as are nothing of kin vnto mee that e Ro. 1.12 wee may bee edified through our mutual faith whereas I care not for the company of others wanting true godlinesse though they may be perhappes of my very neere kindred So that I can truely say f Psa 16.3 As for the Saints that are in the earth and the excellent in them is all my delight but as for others I haue hated the assembly of euill doers and will not sit with the wicked and if of necessitie I bee forced to bee in their company then am I readie to wish with the Prophet O that I had wings lik a Doue then would I flie away and be at rest or if this ô will not set mee at libertie then I take vp woe to expresse my misery Woe is me that I soiourne in Mesech that I dwell in the tents of Kedar 3. I haue a fellow-feeling of the miseries of the Saints my deare Christian brethren and sisters which works in mee compassion and makes my heart euen ake and bowels yearn within me to see their grief and behold them in necessitie Whereby I perceiue that I haue the true affection of a fellow-member for if one member suffer all the members suffer with it Fourthly I finde in mee a willingnesse in some measure to impart my selfe vnto them in life and goods soule and bodie so far as I canne to affoord them helpe and succour for as it is truely said of faith that * Fides toto copulatiua it is wholly copulatiue wholly employed in coupling vs to Christ so may it as truly bee said of loue that it is * Charitas communicatius wholly communicate imployed in imparting it selfe and what it hath to others for their good Faith is as the leads and pipes to bring in and loue is as the cock of the conduit to let out Now for as much as my loue is thus communicatiue to the children of God because they are his children heereby I also see that it is of the right kinde Min. Alledge some other sure signe of your saluation For the more the better man the richer you are in the true treasure the more comfort may you haue thereby Con. The Lord hath promised to fulfill the desire of them that feare him The eleuenth sign of saluatiō taken out of Psal 145.19 that he wil heare their cry and will saue them Now I finde in some measure in mee the true feare of God and though I say not of my selfe as the Scripture saith of Obadiah that g 1 Kings 18.3 hee feared God greatly yet this I can say that I desire to feare God greatly and this I dare say in despight of the diuell that I feare GOD truely Therefore I shall be saued certainly according to Gods holy word of truth Min. St. IOHN telles vs that there is no feare in loue but that perfect loue casteth out feare Seeing then you loue God how can you bee said to feare him how can these two stand peaceably together Con. Very well for there is a two-fold feare of God the first is a slauish and seruile feare in horrour to dread his maiestie as a seuere reuenging Iudge eyther executing his iudgements or readie to take vengeance on his enemies Thus all impenitent persons and the Diuels feare him and onely thus and therefore hate him wishing there were no God And this is the meaning of Saint Iames when hee saith h Iam. 2.19 The Diuels beleeue and tremble The second is a childe-like feare in awefull reuerence and loue toward God to be carefull not to offend him now this feare is the true naturall birth of loue being bred and brought forth of it Looke then as Sarah cast out Ismael the seed of the bond-woman but would not cast out her owne deare sonne Isaac euen so the loue of GOD doth cast out of mee by degrees the seed of bondage the slauish feare but not her owne birth the awefull and holy feare of God but cherisheth and nourisheth this continually in mee and is as a nurse vnto it so that now I feare not so much that God will condemne me as that I may not offend him so good so louing a father to mee euen as a good ingenious childe feares to offend his father for very loue but feares not that his father will cut his throat or murder
carnall ioy is which causeth men to reioyce onely or chiefly in their corne and their wine their wealth and their honours their pleasures and their profits this nature affords vnto them But I finde in me a supernaturall ioy in things diuine and spirituall which corrupt nature can take no liking of much lesse delight therein therefore it hath been wrought in me by a power diuine that is the fruit of Gods holy spirit 5. Whereas the ioy of the wicked is slight and short a flash and away no better then the chirping of birds in a sunne-shine day mine is firme and durable not like summer-fruit which holds good but for a time for the summer-season of prosperity but my ioy is lasting fruit which still holds good yea euen in the hardest winter of greatest aduersity Ro. 5.3 I can ioy in tribulations 6. It is a victorious ioy for when as griefe like lead lies heauy on my heart pressing it downe then doth this ioy lift vp my heart in faith together with my hands eyes and voyce vpward to the heauens aboue the mountaines from whence my helpe commeth wherby appeares it ouercommeth griefe and getteth victorie ouer tentation thus I haue that which is the very life of life true ioy for life without this is hardly worthy the name of life Min. This pawne of heauen which the Lord hath put into your heart I may not nor cannot except against therefore proceed vnto another signe of your salution Con. Patience vnder the crosse may not bee left out nor forgotten no more then it may bee cast off or forgone well it deserues a roome among this good company of witnesses all which giue in euidence that heauen is mine The thirteenth sine of saluation taken out of Iam. 1.12 That this is a sure signe of saluation S. Iames proues it when he saith Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tryed hee shall receiue the crowne of life and that it is in me my conscience proues it therefore I am blessed but more blessed shall I bee when I receiue the crowne Minist Well may the crowne indeed be set vpon the head of patience so noble and so conquering a grace for christian * Nobile vinceÌ„di genus est patientia vincit qui patitur suffring is a noble kinde of conquering and hee that so suffereth no lesse than conquereth And if you haue also found this gemme in you happy are you prouided alwaies that it be true patience how prooue you that Con. 1. 5. Notes of true patience Because I doe not onely finde out but also finde fault with any inclination or disposition toward impatiency I check and controul my selfe for it when it begins to stirre I begin to stifle it before it gather strength or get to head 2. I doe not goe about to prescribe to GOD the measure of afflicting me nor yet the manner meanes or time of helping easing and deliuering mee I can bee content with the grace of God in the forgiuenesse of my sinne and sanctification of his Spirit tho I want other things and can receiue the loue of God with good contentment though it come alone or attended with the crosse 3. I more feare to doe the euill of sinne than to suffer the euill of punishment for sinne * Malum parti maluÌ„ non est maluÌ„ facere malum est for to suffer affliction is not euill but to commit sinne is euill and I can be content still to beare the punishment so that the sinne may bee taken away oh I would not for any thing that the rod of God should be remoued before the Cure bee throughly wrought 4. My patience goes accompanied with a profiting vnder the correcting hand of God for first it brings forth e Rom. 5.4 experience both of the care and loue and gracious dealing of God towards me as also of my owne estate and cariage toward him and thus I come to haue better acquaintance with God with my selfe it also increaseth my loue toward him makes me cleaue and cling faster to him as a childe doth to his parent when hee turneth away from it and maketh as though he would goe away and leaue it to the wolfe it strengtheneth my faith and causeth me to relie more stedfastly on God in distresses for time to come and a dram of tried faith is better then a pound of vntried Lastly it worketh in me reformation I am not like wicked AhaZ f 2 Chr. 28 22. who in the time of his distresse did yet trespasse more and more against the Lord. For I can truely say with the holy Prophet g Ps 119.67 Before I was afflicted I went astray but now haue I kept thy word ô God Thus by patience I reforme my self and thus in patience I possesse my soule therefore it is true patience Min. By what other certain signe are you perswaded of your euerlasting saluation Con. They which haue receiued the Earnest of the Spirit in their hearts The fourth signe of saluation taken out of 2. Cor. 1.22 Eph. 4.30 Ro. 8.16.17 are thereby sealed vnto the day of redemption this haue I receiued to wit the infallible testimony of GOD's holy spirit which beareth witnesse with my spirit that I am the child of God and so an heyre of glory seeing God who cannot lye tels me by his spirit I shall be saued I hold it as I am bound for a necessary and a most vndoubted truth Min. Thousands of vngodly ones haue a perswasion that they shall be saued and none seeme more confident than they and yet it is but presumption and the illusion of the deuill in them for they haue no more true right to saluation than dogges to the childrens bread yea and though they sweare to it too as that they are ready enough to doe yet you neede not credit them vnlesse you will and if you doe it is but a lye as if a woman that had a child should swear she were a maid or one that had a plague-sore on him should sweare that hee were cleere would you beleeue either of them for all their facing of the matter sure you would not how know you then that yours is the testimony of Gods Spirit and not presumption which is nothing else but the lying spirit of Sathan in the mouthâ—s and hearts of all his children Conuer 5. Notes of the true testimony Gods of spirit First I proue it by the birth of it for it hath been wrought and planted in me contrary to nature by the word of God heard read meditated vpon and the like good meanes whereas presumption like a stinking weed growes of it owne accord out of the ranke soyle of Nature 2. As Iacob may bee knowne by Iacobs voyce from Esau so may this be knowne by its voice for it doth not barely tell mee I shall be saued but proues it to me and perswades mee by all these former signes which
wee know that sicke folkes are not competent or meet iudges of themselues for they sometimes feele nothing but paine or sicknesse whereas others know that there is in them more health then sicknesse or at least some health Minist Now then to come to your selfe for it is the part of euery wise man to be best acquainted with his own estate Let mee a little examine your Euidences haue you some good assurance that you shall bee saued Con. Yes I praise God else how could I haue any comfort else my very meat should be turned into gall teares should bee my drinke well might my eyes refuse all rest and my soule all comfort knowing none other but that I should p Iob. 18.14 goe to the king of feare into a Land darke as darknesse it selfe And sure I am that the q Mark 8 36. whole World with the r Eccles 2.11 best of all earthly things cannot affoord true sound and substantiall comfort to the quieting of the conscience reioycing of the heart Min. How doe you know that you shall bee saued Con. First by that mother-grace from whence all other sauing graces flow namely true iustifying faith a sparke of this pious faith I find is kindled in me whereupon this I build GOD hath promised The first signe of saluation taken out of Iohn 3.36 that hee which beleeueth shall be saued Now then seeing I belieue that is am truly perswaded that Christ is my Sauiour that hee died for my sinnes and fulfilled the Law to procure mee perfect righteousnes therefore I know I shall be saued Min. It is nothing to say you beleeue but let mee heare if you can proue it how know you that yours is true faith and not meere mocke-faith which is so rife in the world Con. Because it hath beene rightly bred and begotten in me and that by the spirituall seede of Gods word according to that saying of the Apostle f Rom. â—0 17 Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God Thus then I came by Faith first by hearing the doctrine of the Law preached I saw my selfe to be in a damnable conditioÌ„ by nature a wretched sinner yea wholly sinful and therefore accursed by the iust sentence of Gods most righteous Law deseruing nothing but the horrible wrath of God and lying open to the vengeance of eternal fire so that there was nothing betweene me and hell but onely a poore simple crasie tottering life which I knew not how soone or suddenly it might be surprised by death the consideration whereof wrought in mee terror of conscience dread of hell and condemnation despairing of any hope or helpe in my selfe Min. And what then did you rest quiet in the sight of this your wofull miserie Con. Oh it was not possible my poor distressed soule should find any rest in this estate nay if I had heard no better tidings I should haue bin swallowed vp of despair but then in the next place I came * This is the cape of good hope in sayling to heauen to vnderstand that God hath anointed and sent his own sonne to t Isa 61.1 Luk. 4.18 preach good tidings vnto the poore recouering of sight to the blind to binde vp the broken hearted and set at liberty such as are bruised more plainly I learned by the doctrine of the Gospell that God of his rich mercie hath giuen his sonne Christ Iesus very God and man to be a Sauiour vnto sinfull men euen to as many as beleeue in him and hath u Ioh. 3.16 not excluded mee out of the number of those that shall be saued by him but hath offered him vnto mee amongst others which are weary and heauy laden with their sins saying * Mat. 11.28 Come vnto mee all euen all such and hath also x Ioh. 3.23 commanded yea euen y Cor. 5.20 intreated mee to beleiue in him Thus my heart was drawne and wonne to take him and apply him a Sauiour to my owne soule thinking my selfe bound in conscience to yeeld obedience to the holy commandement and gracious inuitation of Almighty God and what a beast were I if I should not accept of so free a profer of his Sonne as he hath made vnto me Min. Thus you haue shewed mee well how you came by faith and I see you haue come honestly by it whereby it appeares that it is not like Iacobs venison too quicklie found to bee of the right kinde nor like Ionahs gourd too suddenlie sprung to continue long but like the z 2 Sam. 23.15 16. water of Bethlehem much longed for hardly obtained now shew mee further how you vse it since you got it what fruites doth it bring forth whereby you may know more easily whether it be true and a 1 Tim. 1.5 Faith vnfained Con. As fire may bee discerned by heat 6 Notes of true faith and life by motion so may my faith by the fruites thereof For first it enableth me to b Eph. 6.16 quench the fierie darts of that euil one to resist not without some comfortable victories the suggestions of Sathan wherwith he buffets me and more particularly that same temptation of doubting whether the promises of God belong to me or no for that I am not ouercome of this doubting and sunke vnder it but struggle and wrestle with it and with vnbeliefe that is by the power of faith Secondly it makes mee earnestly desire to bee more and more reconciled to God that is more fullie assured of his fauour that I am at peace with him and hee well pleased with mee to whom by nature I was an vtter enemy it makes mee crie c Ps 106.4 remember mee O Lord with the fauour of thy people d Ps 84.5 release thy anger toward mee turne thy fac vnto mee e Ps 31.16 cause thy face to shine vnto thy seruant and saue mee through thy mercy Thirdly my faith makes mee labour to please God though it bee with displeasing my selfe and to doe the will of God yea eueÌ„ in those things which crosse my owne will as it caused Abraham to f Gen. 22.10 offer his dearely beloued Isaac though otherwise it would haue gone ful sore against his heart and heereby Enoch was g Heb. 11.5 reported of that had had pleased God Fourthly by it my heart is in some measure purified from noysome lusts and affections as secret pride self-selfe-loue hypocrisie carnal confidence wrath malice and the like in that they are distastfull yea loathsome to mee so that the spirit within me fighteth against the flesh that is grace resisteth and subdueth corruption Fiftly it makes me long after Christ to tast more fully of his sweetnesse and to bee h Can. 1.2 kissed with the kisses of his mouth that is to haue a greater measure of heauenly graces and greater and more liuely tokens of his loue communicated to mee whom and whose loue I do preferre aboue the