my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
or_o to_o write_v they_o upon_o their_o house_n and_o land_n which_o yet_o death_n and_o time_n have_v whole_o obliterated_a but_o it_o be_v the_o honour_n of_o many_o saint_n to_o be_v record_v in_o sacred_a scripture_n beyond_o all_o danger_n of_o oblivion_n as_o great_a example_n of_o piety_n and_o holiness_n towards_o god_n and_o of_o service_n to_o the_o church_n of_o god_n in_o their_o generation_n and_o god_n have_v since_o by_o his_o providence_n in_o all_o age_n secure_v to_o his_o more_o eminent_a saint_n and_o servant_n the_o like_a honour_n stir_v up_o some_o survivor_n to_o embalm_v their_o precious_a name_n and_o memory_n by_o record_v and_o report_v the_o dead_a to_o posterity_n in_o more_o last_a monument_n as_o great_a instance_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n special_a matter_n of_o his_o praise_n and_o approve_a pattern_n as_o well_o for_o the_o encouragement_n as_o the_o imitation_n of_o the_o live_n how_o despise_v soever_o this_o excellent_a servant_n of_o jesus_n christ_n the_o subject_n we_o have_v to_o write_v of_o have_v be_v in_o the_o eye_n of_o some_o of_o his_o generation_n yet_o i_o be_o persuade_v none_o of_o the_o worthy_n in_o the_o church_n of_o god_n that_o be_v go_v before_o he_o will_v count_v it_o any_o disparagement_n to_o their_o honour_n that_o he_o be_v add_v to_o their_o number_n who_o precious_a name_n survive_v their_o death_n the_o record_n which_o have_v be_v make_v and_o publish_v of_o the_o life_n of_o many_o excellent_a and_o holy_a person_n consist_v for_o the_o most_o part_n only_o of_o such_o passage_n as_o have_v fall_v under_o the_o observation_n of_o those_o who_o have_v more_o intimate_o and_o frequent_o converse_v with_o they_o &_o many_o hand_n have_v contribute_v to_o the_o collect_v of_o some_o more_o remarkable_a word_n and_o action_n which_o a_o ingenious_a pen_n in_o just_a honour_n to_o the_o subject_a improve_v as_o indices_fw-la of_o those_o singular_a accomplishment_n of_o mind_n and_o heart_n which_o be_v beyond_o the_o reach_n of_o the_o most_o observant_a eye_n and_o be_v there_o nothing_o else_o to_o be_v recover_v concern_v the_o subject_n before_o we_o but_o what_o may_v be_v so_o collect_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o those_o who_o have_v the_o happy_a advantage_n to_o know_v full_o his_o doctrine_n manner_n of_o life_n purpose_n faith_n long_o suffer_v charity_n patience_n etc._n etc._n i_o doubt_v not_o but_o if_o manage_v by_o a_o skilful_a pen_n it_o will_v just_o amount_v to_o such_o a_o character_n of_o he_o as_o may_v worthy_o render_v he_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a example_n of_o faith_n and_o holiness_n of_o scripturall_a knowledge_n and_o practice_n as_o well_o to_o the_o preacher_n as_o professor_n of_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n but_o their_o be_v less_o need_n of_o this_o in_o reference_n to_o our_o subject_n himself_o have_v not_o only_o in_o great_a measure_n prevent_v and_o save_v his_o friend_n that_o labour_n and_o service_n but_o moreover_o discover_v the_o inmost_a secret_n of_o his_o heart_n towards_o god_n beyond_o all_o that_o can_v be_v know_v of_o he_o by_o the_o strict_a observation_n of_o other_o what_o have_v be_v the_o advantageous_a practice_n sometime_o though_o very_o rare_a of_o some_o eminent_a servant_n of_o god_n who_o have_v make_v religion_n their_o business_n viz._n to_o write_v curriculum_fw-la vita_fw-la the_o manner_n and_o course_n of_o their_o own_o life_n appear_v to_o have_v be_v he_o he_o not_o only_o keep_v a_o strict_a eye_n upon_o himself_o and_o take_v special_a notice_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o the_o manner_n of_o his_o spiritual_a live_n unto_o god_n but_o lest_o he_o shall_v forget_v and_o render_v it_o useless_a commit_v the_o same_o to_o paper_n record_v the_o deal_n of_o god_n towards_o he_o the_o work_n of_o corruption_n and_o grace_n his_o conflict_n and_o temptation_n the_o secret_a intercourse_n and_o communion_n between_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n the_o approach_n and_o withdrawing_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n his_o lifting_n up_o and_o casting_n down_o the_o act_n of_o faith_n and_o love_n divine_a assistance_n in_o duty_n return_v of_o prayer_n the_o clearness_n of_o his_o evidence_n and_o rejoice_n of_o his_o hope_n etc._n etc._n wherein_o the_o life_n and_o power_n of_o true_a religion_n do_v more_o consist_v than_o in_o all_o open_a and_o visibel_v act_n out_o of_o this_o treasury_n which_o be_v enough_o to_o supply_v a_o far_o large_a volume_n have_v be_v fetch_v the_o great_a part_n of_o that_o furniture_n which_o fill_v these_o page_n and_o that_o most_o in_o his_o own_o word_n you_o that_o read_v may_v therefore_o imagine_v you_o hear_v this_o holy_a prophet_n bespeak_v you_o in_o the_o word_n of_o another_o prophet_n come_v and_o read_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v tell_v you_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n my_o own_o experience_n assure_v i_o that_o to_o those_o who_o be_v engage_v in_o the_o spiritual_a war_n and_o run_v the_o christian_a race_n and_o have_v set_v their_o face_n towards_o god_n it_o will_v be_v useful_a encourage_v delightful_a and_o satisfactory_a to_o read_v so_o much_o of_o the_o sense_n and_o feel_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n in_o the_o experience_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n the_o great_a part_n of_o who_o yet_o i_o believe_v will_v find_v cause_n to_o be_v ashamed_a before_o god_n see_v themselves_o so_o far_o cast_v behind_o and_o may_v be_v provoke_v to_o mend_v their_o pace_n in_o press_v forward_o towards_o the_o mark_n to_o which_o he_o have_v attain_v as_o for_o such_o as_o rest_v in_o their_o negative_a goodness_n and_o commendable_a moral_n their_o form_n of_o godliness_n and_o bodily_a exercise_n in_o religion_n without_o the_o life_n and_o power_n thereof_o who_o know_v but_o they_o may_v be_v convince_v of_o the_o vanity_n of_o their_o hope_n and_o the_o sandy_a foundation_n whereon_o they_o have_v build_v they_o and_o that_o yet_o they_o lack_v something_o while_o they_o read_v the_o thought_n affection_n and_o work_n of_o his_o holy_a heart_n his_o understand_a improvement_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n and_o his_o spiritual_a communion_n with_o the_o holy_a god_n to_o which_o themselves_o be_v altogether_o stranger_n but_o such_o be_v the_o enmity_n and_o contradiction_n of_o the_o carnal_a mind_n to_o the_o spirit_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n that_o i_o can_v be_v without_o jealousy_n that_o much_o of_o what_o be_v true_a write_a will_v be_v matter_n of_o scorn_n and_o derision_n to_o the_o profane_a generation_n however_o as_o the_o word_n of_o god_n deliver_v in_o the_o scripture_n and_o dispense_v in_o the_o ministry_n thereof_o have_v its_o divers_a and_o contrary_a effect_n upon_o diverse_a &_o contrary_a subject_n whereon_o yet_o god_n know_v how_o to_o raise_v his_o own_o glory_n so_o shall_v the_o same_o word_n exemplify_v in_o the_o life_n of_o this_o now_o glorify_a saint_n have_v the_o like_a effect_n on_o they_o that_o read_v it_o to_o the_o humble_a and_o teachable_a it_o shall_v be_v in_o adjutorium_fw-la but_o to_o the_o scorner_n and_o despiser_n in_o testimonium_fw-la the_o relation_n mr._n owen_n stockton_n be_v bear_v in_o the_o city_n of_o chichester_n in_o the_o county_n of_o sussex_n the_o last_o week_n of_o may_n 1630._o be_v the_o four_o son_n of_o his_o father_n mr._n owen_n stockton_n a_o worthy_a prebendary_a of_o that_o cathedral_n who_o be_v a_o young_a brother_n of_o that_o ancient_a family_n of_o the_o stockton_n of_o kiddington_n green_n in_o cheshire_n about_o the_o seven_o year_n of_o his_o age_n his_o father_n die_v and_o leave_v the_o care_n of_o he_o and_o his_o other_o child_n to_o their_o mother_n a_o pious_a gentlewoman_n of_o the_o family_n of_o the_o tilee_n in_o cambridgeshire_n she_o be_v a_o widow_n and_o stranger_n in_o chichester_n soon_o after_o the_o death_n of_o her_o husband_n 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be_v so_o suit_v to_o some_o reason_n and_o doubt_n that_o i_o have_v upon_o my_o mind_n and_o come_v so_o seasonable_o at_o my_o first_o fix_v at_o chattisham_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o a_o token_n for_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o and_o the_o teach_n of_o his_o spirit_n at_o chattisham_n as_o i_o have_v have_v they_o at_o colchester_n the_o encouragement_n which_o he_o thus_o take_v be_v not_o vain_a and_o empty_a god_n remember_v his_o word_n unto_o his_o servant_n wherein_o he_o have_v cause_v he_o to_o hope_v for_o he_o not_o only_o incline_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o people_n among_o who_o he_o live_v though_o stranger_n to_o he_o to_o pay_v he_o that_o respect_n and_o honour_n which_o be_v due_a to_o he_o and_o indulge_v he_o the_o liberty_n of_o private_a preach_v as_o he_o have_v before_o enjoy_v but_o moreover_o open_v to_o he_o in_o this_o place_n a_o door_n for_o the_o frequent_a public_a exercise_n 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and_o edification_n his_o labour_n be_v abundant_a his_o ministry_n be_v his_o whole_a business_n beside_o his_o lord_n day_n service_n wherein_o he_o not_o only_o preach_v twice_o but_o oft_o expound_v the_o scripture_n and_o catechise_v the_o young_a sort_n and_o many_o time_n discourse_v particular_a christian_n that_o apply_v themselves_o to_o he_o for_o counsel_n and_o instruction_n about_o their_o spiritual_a case_n he_o moreover_o preach_v a_o lecture_n at_o ipswich_n on_o the_o weekday_n once_o a_o fortnight_n and_o scarce_o a_o week_n pass_v but_o he_o preach_v at_o some_o other_o lecture_n or_o funeral_n beside_o keep_v of_o private_a fast_n which_o he_o frequent_o practise_v both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n over_o he_o while_o he_o be_v thus_o zealous_o and_o constant_o employ_v in_o his_o work_n in_o so_o many_o place_n be_v so_o remarkable_a that_o it_o must_v not_o be_v pass_v over_o without_o special_a observation_n notwithstanding_o the_o severity_n of_o the_o law_n the_o malice_n watchfulness_n and_o endeavour_n of_o adversary_n yet_o god_n suffer_v not_o a_o hair_n to_o fall_v from_o his_o head_n though_o complaint_n information_n indictment_n conviction_n warrant_v presentment_n excommunication_n be_v make_v against_o he_o yet_o be_v he_o never_o imprison_v apprehend_v distrain_v or_o bring_v before_o any_o court_n or_o magistrate_n he_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o this_o care_n of_o god_n over_o he_o and_o thankful_o accept_v and_o record_v it_o as_o the_o instance_n of_o god_n faithfulness_n and_o performance_n of_o his_o promise_n as_o the_o answer_n of_o his_o own_o faith_n and_o prayer_n and_o as_o the_o reward_n of_o his_o love_n and_o zeal_n and_o courage_n for_o god_n and_o his_o church_n by_o the_o power_n whereof_o he_o live_v above_o fear_n and_o danger_n for_o thus_o he_o write_v apr._n 16._o 1655._o be_v lord_n day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o awake_v with_o that_o scripture_n in_o my_o thought_n 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o dwell_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o and_o draw_v comfort_n and_o relief_n for_o my_o faith_n by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o have_v be_v before_o under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o comfort_n i_o have_v be_v that_o christ_n come_v to_o save_v the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n that_o this_o be_v a_o faithful_a say_n that_o it_o be_v worthy_a all_o acceptation_n or_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o every_o one_o and_o that_o this_o salvation_n be_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o hell_n math._n 1._o 21._o consider_v whether_o he_o will_v save_v i_o as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o wash_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o it_o be_v then_o a_o time_n of_o danger_n as_o to_o the_o keep_n of_o my_o meeting_n because_o many_o soldier_n be_v in_o town_n i_o be_v dubious_a whether_o i_o shall_v admit_v the_o people_n to_o come_v to_o my_o house_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o christ_n take_v it_o as_o a_o act_n of_o love_n to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n joh._n 21._o 15._o and_o that_o he_o expose_v himself_o to_o death_n to_o save_v i_o and_o bring_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o in_o the_o morning_n in_o my_o meditation_n on_o the_o 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o be_v willing_a to_o adventure_v myself_o on_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n sept._n 19_o as_o i_o be_v expound_v in_o my_o family_n the_o 91_o psalm_n on_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o encourage_v to_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v notwithstanding_o the_o difficulty_n that_o attend_v the_o same_o by_o reason_n of_o many_o adversary_n from_o v_o 11_o 12_o 13._o though_o the_o adversary_n to_o private_a meeting_n and_o the_o preach_a of_o nonconformist_n be_v of_o several_a sort_n as_o strong_a as_o lion_n as_o full_a of_o venom_n as_o the_o dragon_n such_o as_o be_v greedy_a of_o and_o roar_v after_o the_o prey_n like_o the_o young_a lion_n as_o subtle_a and_o pertinacious_a and_o obstinate_a in_o their_o way_n as_o the_o adder_n of_o which_o see_v ps_n 58._o 4_o 5._o yet_o the_o angel_n have_v a_o charge_n to_o keep_v we_o in_o all_o our_o way_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v trample_v these_o under_o our_o foot_n this_o promise_n give_v i_o courage_n whilst_o at_o colchester_n and_o i_o see_v it_o make_v good_a for_o i_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v and_o have_v no_o harm_n from_o they_o i_o observe_v also_o in_o read_v dan._n 6._o 23._o the_o power_n of_o faith_n to_o deliver_v out_o of_o great_a and_o imminent_a danger_n daniel_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o den_n of_o hungry_a lion_n yet_o no_o manner_n of_o hurt_n be_v find_v upon_o he_o because_o he_o believe_v in_o his_o god_n sept._n 22._o in_o my_o family_n exercise_v as_o i_o be_v read_v ps_n 146._o 9_o the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n my_o faith_n receive_v strength_n i_o enjoy_v much_o peace_n and_o security_n in_o colchester_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o no_o molestation_n either_o from_o the_o town_n or_o county_n but_o be_v come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n where_o i_o be_v not_o know_v and_o have_v no_o friend_n to_o shelter_v or_o speak_v for_o i_o i_o apprehend_v myself_o to_o walk_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o before_o this_o word_n the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n do_v help_v my_o dependence_n upon_o god_n oct._n 28_o 1666._o be_v sabbath_n day_n i_o go_v forth_o to_o preach_v at_o manitree_n in_o the_o morning_n before_o i_o go_v the_o lord_n give_v in_o that_o promise_n isa_n 55._o 12._o you_o shall_v be_v lead_v forth_o with_o peace_n it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o danger_n for_o nonconformist_n to_o preach_v public_o the_o promise_n be_v the_o
hand_n of_o my_o enemy_n and_o give_v i_o rest_n and_o peace_n from_o psal_n 30._o 1._o i_o will_v extol_v '_o thou_o o_o lord_n for_o thou_o have_v lift_v i_o up_o and_o have_v not_o make_v my_o foe_n to_o rejoice_v over_o i_o and_o from_o psal_n 31._o 7_o 8._o i_o see_v further_o that_o god_n give_v i_o rest_n from_o my_o enemy_n shall_v put_v i_o upon_o do_v some_o special_a eminent_a service_n for_o god_n from_o 2_o sam._n 7._o 1_o 2._o 1_o king_n 5._o 4_o 5._o 1_o chron._n 22._o 17_o 18_o 19_o thus_o with_o unwearied_a pain_n and_o zeal_n in_o great_a peace_n and_o security_n with_o holy_a rejoice_v and_o thanksgiving_n do_v he_o fulfil_v the_o course_n of_o his_o ministry_n yet_o he_o satisfy_v not_o himself_o with_o his_o work_n of_o preach_v but_o moreover_o apply_v himself_o to_o write_v for_o the_o great_a service_n of_o the_o present_a and_o future_a generation_n in_o the_o time_n of_o the_o rage_a pestilence_n he_o write_v a_o treatise_n relate_v to_o that_o sore_a judgement_n but_o the_o pestilence_n cease_v before_o he_o have_v finish_v it_o he_o do_v not_o publish_v it_o upon_o occasion_n of_o the_o destroy_a fire_n of_o london_n he_o compose_v and_o publish_v his_o counsel_n to_o the_o afflict_a soon_o after_o he_o publish_v his_o scriptural_a catechism_n with_o a_o treatise_n of_o family_n instruction_n and_o have_v leave_v behind_o he_o several_a other_o manuscript_n which_o he_o design_v for_o the_o press_n as_o the_o cure_n of_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n a_o treatise_n of_o glorïfy_v god_n the_o best_a interest_n a_o warn_v to_o drunkard_n some_o of_o which_o at_o lest_o it_o be_v hope_v may_v see_v the_o light_n the_o holy_a ghost_n by_o st._n paul_n to_o timothy_n 1_o eph._n 3._o 4._o among_o other_o qualification_n of_o a_o good_a minister_n require_v that_o he_o be_v one_o that_o rule_v well_o his_o own_o house_n have_v his_o child_n in_o subjection_n with_o all_o gravity_n the_o due_a character_n of_o our_o subject_n his_o treatise_n 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account_n of_o his_o own_o and_o his_o wife_n approve_a wisdom_n grace_n gravity_n and_o government_n many_o be_v desirous_a to_o get_v their_o child_n into_o his_o family_n even_o those_o who_o be_v of_o different_a persuasion_n from_o he_o both_o in_o conformity_n and_o nonconformity_n for_o their_o better_a education_n in_o compliance_n wherewith_o he_o receive_v some_o youth_n of_o the_o female_a sex_n that_o may_v more_o proper_o belong_v to_o the_o care_n and_o inspection_n of_o his_o wife_n so_o as_o for_o the_o most_o part_n he_o have_v a_o full_a family_n wherein_o according_a to_o his_o place_n he_o keep_v up_o his_o authority_n over_o all_o under_o his_o charge_n but_o with_o so_o much_o meekness_n prudence_n and_o gravity_n that_o though_o all_o stand_v in_o awe_n of_o he_o yet_o he_o be_v more_o love_v than_o fear_v as_o to_o his_o wife_n who_o he_o worthy_o honour_v and_o entire_o love_v there_o never_o arise_v any_o passion_n or_o dispute_n between_o they_o he_o frequent_o converse_v with_o she_o about_o the_o matter_n of_o her_o soul_n inquire_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v between_o god_n and_o her_o soul_n what_o burden_n lay_v upon_o her_o spirit_n what_o ground_a hope_n she_o have_v for_o eternal_a life_n etc._n etc._n help_v and_o encourage_v she_o in_o the_o way_n of_o godliness_n the_o 9th_o day_n of_o june_n be_v the_o day_n of_o their_o marriage_n he_o never_o pass_v it_o over_o if_o at_o home_n without_o spend_v some_o time_n with_o she_o in_o solemn_a prayer_n to_o god_n and_o conference_n about_o the_o several_a passage_n of_o his_o providence_n towards_o they_o since_o they_o come_v into_o that_o relation_n in_o the_o conclusion_n whereof_o he_o be_v always_o more_o affect_v with_o and_o thankful_a for_o mercy_n than_o deject_v or_o cast_v down_o at_o affliction_n though_o he_o meet_v with_o some_o considerable_a trial_n not_o only_o in_o his_o family_n as_o the_o loss_n of_o so_o many_o hopeful_a child_n etc._n etc._n but_o also_o abroad_o and_o that_o from_o those_o that_o know_v better_a it_o be_v his_o manner_n not_o only_o in_o his_o more_o private_a and_o secret_a retirement_n but_o also_o in_o the_o performance_n of_o his_o family_n duty_n to_o commend_v she_o particular_o to_o god_n at_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n as_o to_o his_o child_n very_o early_o before_o they_o be_v past_o the_o lap_n he_o will_v himself_o be_v instruct_v of_o they_o in_o god_n word_n order_v they_o to_o get_v some_o scripture_n by_o heart_n which_o best_o suit_v their_o childhood_n and_o capacity_n four_o of_o they_o die_v in_o infancy_n and_o childhood_n none_o have_v reach_v the_o full_a age_n of_o 5_o year_n concern_v who_o he_o have_v much_o satisfaction_n as_o to_o their_o eternal_a salvation_n his_o first_o bear_v a_o daughter_n attain_v to_o the_o age_n of_o 19_o year_n and_o die_v who_o have_v be_v so_o instruct_v by_o her_o father_n that_o before_o she_o be_v 8_o year_n old_a she_o under_o stand_v the_o method_n of_o a_o 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may_v have_v liberty_n to_o attend_v the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n for_o her_o soul_n walk_v close_o with_o god_n in_o daily_a secret_a duty_n strict_o keep_v the_o sabbath_n take_v special_a notice_n of_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n and_o sin_n and_o god_n providential_a deal_n with_o she_o record_v they_o in_o her_o diary_n and_o under_o a_o long_a and_o mortal_a sickness_n express_v a_o most_o christian_n patience_n and_o submission_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n as_o to_o his_o servant_n so_o soon_o as_o they_o come_v into_o his_o family_n he_o instruct_v they_o first_o in_o their_o duty_n towards_o god_n next_o in_o the_o duty_n of_o their_o place_n give_v they_o the_o evidence_n and_o authority_n of_o scripture_n for_o that_o which_o he_o instruct_v they_o in_o and_o expect_v from_o they_o enjoin_v they_o to_o get_v those_o scripture_n by_o heart_n which_o they_o be_v to_o keep_v in_o memory_n and_o repeat_v to_o he_o as_o he_o call_v for_o they_o as_o to_o his_o family_n together_o after_o his_o own_o personal_a secret_a retirement_n and_o devotion_n in_o read_v the_o holy_a scripture_n in_o course_n and_o prayer_n which_o be_v his_o first_o and_o last_o exercise_n after_o his_o uprising_n and_o before_o his_o downly_n his_o manner_n be_v in_o the_o morning_n seek_v god_n first_o by_o a_o short_a prayer_n for_o a_o blessing_n to_o read_v some_o portion_n of_o scripture_n which_o he_o often_o also_o expound_v and_o then_o to_o proceed_v to_o prayer_n and_o at_o night_n after_o the_o like_o read_v of_o the_o scripture_n he_o require_v every_o child_n that_o be_v capable_a and_o servant_n to_o repeat_v one_o verse_n of_o that_o chapter_n or_o some_o other_o scripture_n which_o they_o have_v a_o desire_n may_v be_v explain_v to_o they_o and_o of_o every_o such_o verse_n so_o repeat_v he_o give_v the_o sense_n and_o speak_v
disunion_n and_o separation_n of_o the_o soul_n from_o the_o body_n so_o our_o spiritual_a life_n result_v from_o the_o soul_n union_n with_o christ_n and_o spiritual_a death_n be_v our_o separation_n from_o he_o now_o i_o feel_v myself_o as_o a_o poor_a wither_a branch_n cut_v off_o from_o this_o vine_n unacquainted_a with_o the_o act_n of_o this_o spiritual_a life_n as_o live_v by_o faith_n serve_v god_n in_o spirit_n mortify_v sin_n by_o the_o spirit_n walk_v in_o the_o spirit_n love_v god_n above_o all_o thing_n and_o seek_v his_o glory_n in_o all_o thing_n i_o have_v sometime_o pray_v against_o sin_n resolve_v against_o it_o strive_v with_o it_o avoid_v occasion_n thereto_o all_o which_o a_o natural_a man_n may_v do_v but_o sin_n have_v return_v upon_o i_o and_o overcome_v i_o how_o to_o fetch_v power_n from_o christ_n death_n to_o mortify_v sin_n how_o to_o believe_v in_o god_n for_o subdue_a it_o how_o to_o do_v it_o by_o the_o spirit_n these_o have_v be_v mystery_n to_o i_o lord_n when_o shall_v the_o day_n dawn_n and_o the_o daystar_n arise_v in_o my_o heart_n when_o shall_v the_o dayspring_n from_o on_o high_a visit_v my_o soul_n to_o give_v light_n to_o he_o that_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n come_v lord_n jesus_n thou_o light_v of_o life_n come_v quick_o that_o which_o keep_v i_o a_o long_a time_n from_o resolve_v to_o give_v up_o my_o whole_a heart_n to_o god_n in_o covenant_n be_v a_o fear_n that_o i_o shall_v break_v my_o covenant_n and_o so_o double_a my_o sin_n but_o i_o perceive_v since_o that_o this_o be_v but_o satan_n policy_n to_o keep_v my_o heart_n from_o god_n and_o the_o true_a ground_n of_o my_o not_o do_v this_o be_v not_o conscienciousness_n of_o sin_n as_o satan_n once_o make_v i_o believe_v but_o a_o loathness_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o to_o serve_v god_n with_o all_o my_o heart_n a_o strong_a encouragement_n thou_o have_v o_o my_o soul_n to_o enter_v covenant_n with_o god_n to_o serve_v he_o with_o thy_o whole_a heart_n from_o that_o portion_n of_o his_o word_n which_o thou_o do_v read_v this_o morning_n may._n 11._o 1654._o in_o jer._n 30._o 21_o 22._o who_o be_v this_o that_o engage_v his_o heart_n to_o approach_v unto_o i_o say_v the_o lord_n you_o shall_v be_v my_o people_n and_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o come_v to_o see_v more_o full_o the_o truth_n of_o that_o place_n rom._n 8._o 7._o the_o carnal_a mind_n be_v enmity_n against_o god_n be_v not_o subject_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n neither_o indeed_o can_v be_v for_o i_o find_v a_o loathness_n to_o walk_v close_o with_o god_n yea_o under_o a_o profession_n of_o religion_n my_o carnal_a heart_n have_v be_v at_o enmity_n to_o the_o power_n and_o life_n of_o it_o and_o this_o enmity_n have_v lyen_fw-we hide_v under_o and_o be_v cover_v with_o a_o performance_n of_o some_o duty_n which_o have_v not_o be_v destructive_a to_o that_o evil_a principle_n that_o have_v live_v in_o i_o yea_o i_o find_v my_o carnal_a heart_n be_v hunger_a after_o the_o fleshpot_n of_o egypt_n after_o its_o old_a delight_n and_o sinful_a pleasure_n be_v ready_a to_o murmur_v against_o god_n in_o the_o wilderness_n and_o speak_v of_o return_v into_o egypt_n and_o be_v impatient_a of_o the_o cross_n it_o revolt_v from_o god_n many_o a_o time_n and_o seek_v relief_n and_o contentment_n from_o the_o creature_n since_o my_o covenant_v with_o god_n i_o see_v more_o of_o thou_o treachery_n and_o hypocrisy_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o find_v my_o soul_n for_o a_o while_n more_o tender_a of_o sin_n and_o my_o heart_n seem_o engage_v to_o serve_v the_o lord_n but_o i_o soon_o forget_v the_o covenant_n that_o i_o have_v make_v and_o in_o a_o short_a space_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o my_o covenant_n have_v any_o influence_n on_o my_o heart_n or_o life_n so_o that_o i_o see_v i_o do_v but_o flatter_v the_o lord_n with_o my_o mouth_n and_o lie_v unto_o he_o with_o my_o tongue_n for_o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o he_o neither_o be_v i_o steadfast_a in_o his_o covenant_n ps_n 78._o 36_o 37._o my_o unstedfastness_n in_o my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n do_v arise_v as_o far_o as_o i_o perceive_v from_o these_o two_o ground_n 1._o my_o heart_n be_v not_o right_a with_o god_n when_o i_o make_v it_o there_o be_v not_o that_o inward_a cordial_a full_a resolution_n to_o part_v with_o all_o sin_n and_o that_o for_o ever_o from_o a_o antipathy_n to_o it_o and_o dislike_v of_o it_o neither_o that_o inward_a resolution_n of_o cleave_v to_o god_n to_o have_v he_o my_o all_o in_o all_o to_o take_v all_o my_o contentment_n and_o joy_n in_o he_o and_o to_o seek_v it_o in_o nothing_o else_o which_o shall_v have_v be_v 2._o i_o neglect_v my_o watch_n and_o do_v not_o as_o i_o shall_v renew_v my_o covenant_n often_o and_o engage_v my_o heart_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n and_o while_o i_o be_v slothful_a and_o negligent_a my_o heart_n be_v steal_v away_o by_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o world_n and_o be_v now_o in_o league_n again_o with_o sin_n lord_n make_v i_o upright_o and_o clear_v up_o to_o i_o my_o sincerity_n search_v i_o and_o try_v i_o and_o let_v i_o know_v the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n keep_v i_o upon_o my_o watch_n and_o guard_n that_o i_o may_v keep_v my_o covenant_n jul._n 23._o the_o lord_n do_v awaken_v my_o conscience_n to_o such_o a_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o lose_v estate_n in_o the_o read_n and_o hear_v of_o his_o word_n that_o when_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v before_o he_o as_o a_o lose_a creature_n be_v under_o wrath_n and_o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n lie_v in_o my_o blood_n and_o pollution_n now_o whereas_o before_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n carry_v out_o in_o beg_a sanctification_n i_o do_v now_o cry_v to_o god_n for_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n to_o wash_v away_o the_o guilt_n of_o my_o sin_n i_o do_v not_o before_o prize_v justify_v grace_n so_o as_o now_o in_o some_o weak_a measure_n i_o be_v make_v to_o do_v but_o i_o soon_o find_v a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n in_o a_o little_a time_n i_o do_v not_o tremble_v at_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n i_o have_v labour_v to_o work_v these_o conviction_n upon_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o find_v such_o a_o rove_a heart_n such_o a_o slighty_a heart_n so_o possess_v with_o vanity_n that_o nothing_o will_v abide_v with_o it_o lord_n unless_o thou_o save_v i_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n i_o perish_v aug._n 6._o be_v sabbath_n day_n in_o meditation_n on_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o this_o be_v his_o commandment_n that_o we_o shall_v believe_v on_o the_o name_n of_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n consider_v with_o myself_o what_o this_o do_v imply_v viz._n not_o only_o a_o rely_v upon_o god_n in_o christ_n for_o the_o remission_n of_o sin_n but_o for_o the_o pour_v out_o of_o the_o spirit_n joh._n 7._o 38_o 39_o which_o spirit_n when_o it_o be_v give_v will_v shed_v abroad_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o our_o heart_n rom._n 5._o 5._o and_o seal_v up_o the_o assurance_n of_o the_o remission_n of_o our_o sin_n and_o witness_v our_o addoption_n rom._n 8_o 16._o will_v mortify_v sin_n in_o we_o v_o 13._o and_o work_v all_o the_o work_n of_o god_n in_o we_o and_o for_o we_o all_o which_o i_o want_v and_o to_o which_o i_o haven_n be_v a_o long_a time_n convince_v that_o i_o be_o unable_a and_o consider_v further_o that_o this_o spirit_n be_v the_o free_a gift_n of_o god_n ps_n 51._o 12._o give_v not_o according_a to_o our_o work_n but_o of_o free_a mercy_n for_o the_o sake_n of_o christ_n tit._n 3._o 4._o 5_o 6._o and_o consider_v further_o that_o jesus_n christ_n have_v receive_v gift_n of_o which_o the_o gift_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v intend_v even_o for_o the_o rebellious_a that_o god_n may_v dwell_v among_o they_o ps_n 68_o 18._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n encourage_v to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o the_o pour_v forth_o of_o his_o spirit_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o may_v have_v my_o heart_n renew_v and_o sanctify_a and_o the_o remission_n of_o my_o sin_n seal_v up_o to_o my_o soul_n afterward_o consider_v further_o that_o the_o way_n whereby_o a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v lose_v god_n image_n come_v to_o be_v renew_v in_o heart_n and_o mind_n and_o make_v partaker_n of_o the_o divine_a nature_n be_v by_o faith_n in_o the_o promise_n 2_o pet._n 1._o 4._o and_o observe_v how_o isaac_n who_o inherit_v the_o blessing_n be_v not_o bear_v by_o the_o strength_n of_o nature_n but_o by_o promise_n and_o as_o isaac_n be_v bear_v through_o the_o promise_n so_o be_v all_o believer_n gal._n 4._o 28._o not_o of_o the_o will_n of_o man_n
to_o want_v nor_o how_o to_o abound_v apt_a to_o murmur_v and_o repine_v in_o strait_o and_o to_o be_v lift_v up_o and_o grow_v secure_a in_o enlargement_n o_o lord_n in_o every_o condition_n i_o need_v thy_o grace_n to_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o behave_v myself_o o_o show_v i_o thy_o way_n and_o lead_v i_o therein_o for_o thy_o namesake_n also_o the_o lord_n teach_v i_o hence_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v patient_a under_o his_o hand_n when_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n and_o to_o resign_v up_o my_o will_n to_o his_o will_n inasmuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o myself_o the_o lord_n see_v i_o shall_v be_v worse_o it_o may_v be_v if_o i_o enjoy_v more_o than_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o in_o wisdom_n and_o mercy_n he_o keep_v i_o in_o a_o low_a condition_n my_o confusion_n sometime_o have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unsettle_a and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v all_o former_a work_n have_v be_v question_v and_o judge_v as_o nothing_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o such_o temptation_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o beside_o prayer_n and_o search_v into_o my_o soul_n to_o have_v recourse_n to_o former_a experience_n psal_n 77._o 10_o 11._o and_o psal_n 85._o octob._n 11._o in_o the_o morning_n i_o bewail_v it_o before_o god_n that_o i_o be_v still_o at_o a_o loss_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o love_v he_o and_o after_o prayer_n i_o read_v 1_o joh._n 2_o ch_n and_o i_o be_v make_v in_o a_o more_o special_a manner_n to_o take_v notice_n of_o v_o 5._o whoso_o keep_v his_o word_n in_o he_o very_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n perfect_v methinks_v i_o see_v god_n answer_v my_o prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o out_o of_o this_o word_n that_o i_o love_v he_o in_o he_o very_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d it_o be_v a_o sure_a sign_n of_o love_n to_o god_n we_o need_v not_o doubt_v of_o it_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o word_n now_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n i_o desire_v to_o do_v so_o if_o the_o love_n of_o god_n be_v perfect_v in_o he_o that_o keep_v his_o word_n then_o sure_o it_o be_v begin_v in_o he_o that_o desire_v and_o endeavour_n to_o keep_v his_o word_n jan._n 25._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o with_o tear_n to_o bewall_n my_o abomination_n even_o my_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n my_o formality_n earthliness_n alienation_n from_o he_o etc._n etc._n therein_o he_o do_v remember_v and_o fulfil_v that_o gracious_a promise_n ezek._n 36._o 31._o i_o find_v godly_a sorrow_n sweet_a not_o only_o in_o the_o root_n and_o fountain_n thereof_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n blessing_n but_o in_o the_o very_a act_n of_o it_o feb._n 2._o in_o the_o evening_n upon_o my_o bed_n the_o lord_n do_v gracious_o melt_v my_o heart_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n under_o this_o consideration_n that_o it_o be_v against_o infinite_a love_n i_o be_v ashamed_a confound_v and_o abash_v because_o i_o have_v so_o long_o slight_v neglect_v rebel_v against_o a_o god_n of_o love_n my_o soul_n even_o tremble_v at_o it_o jan._n 15._o 1655._o have_v be_v the_o day_n before_o with_o one_o under_o great_a temptation_n and_o hear_v of_o another_o under_o a_o wound_a spirit_n my_o heart_n be_v melt_v in_o prayer_n whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v god_n for_o his_o long_a patience_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o sin_v and_o his_o tenderness_n and_o gentleness_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o conversion_n jan._n 16._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n draw_v out_o to_o a_o recumbence_n on_o jesus_n christ_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v rev._n 22._o 17._o christ_n say_v come_v joh._n 7._o 37._o and_o the_o father_n say_v come_v mat._n 22._o 4._o and_o who_o be_o i_o o_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v gainsay_v such_o invitation_n behold_v o_o lord_n i_o come_v and_o put_v my_o trust_n in_o thou_o jan._n 26._o i_o preach_v twice_o and_o have_v very_o gracious_a assistance_n much_o beyond_o expectation_n in_o the_o week_n before_o i_o be_v much_o indispose_v and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o settle_a meditation_n of_o what_o i_o be_v to_o speak_v i_o be_v under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o my_o impotency_n and_o labour_v in_o the_o fire_n till_o saturday_n afternoon_n when_o i_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o answer_v i_o after_o my_o work_n be_v over_o i_o be_v much_o assault_v with_o spiritual_a pride_n i_o see_v plain_o the_o reason_n of_o god_n delay_v his_o assistance_n and_o give_v i_o such_o sense_n of_o my_o weakness_n be_v to_o keep_v i_o humble_a every_o way_n o_o lord_n i_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n when_o thou_o withdrawe_v from_o i_o than_o my_o heart_n die_v and_o my_o strength_n fail_v and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v froward_a when_o thou_o enlarge_v i_o than_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v puff_v up_o oh_o pardon_n and_o purge_v away_o all_o my_o sin_n for_o thy_o name_n sake_n mar._n 23._o in_o sing_v the_o 15_o the_o psalm_n i_o find_v comfort_n my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o labour_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o as_o character_n of_o a_o citizen_n of_o the_o new_a jerusalem_n sept._n 28._o i_o have_v sweet_a meditation_n upon_o my_o bed_n i_o find_v god_n in_o my_o morning_n prayer_n also_o in_o private_a and_o assistance_n in_o preach_v but_o not_o such_o a_o influence_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o public_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v yet_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o his_o presence_n in_o public_a as_o a_o token_n that_o he_o accept_v of_o i_o and_o my_o work_n but_o he_o withdraw_v i_o fear_v hereupon_o that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o sin_v in_o beg_v new_a sign_n of_o his_o favour_n when_o i_o have_v have_v such_o great_a experience_n of_o his_o goodness_n many_o time_n before_o lord_n forgive_v the_o sin_n of_o thy_o servant_n nou._n 23._o examine_v myself_o about_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o ps_n 40._o 8._o delight_n in_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v a_o argument_n of_o the_o law_n write_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v a_o delight_n especial_o in_o some_o duty_n as_o visit_v the_o sick_a comfort_v of_o distress_a conscience_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v somewhat_o terrify_v from_o that_o word_n in_o job_n ch_n 42._o 7._o i_o be_v afraid_a lest_o in_o my_o preach_v i_o shall_v sometime_o speak_v those_o thing_n of_o god_n that_o be_v not_o right_a and_o soon_o after_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v in_o time_n of_o prayer_n comfort_v from_o joh._n 16._o 13._o the_o spirit_n shall_v guide_v you_o into_o all_o truth_n dec._n 7._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n very_o much_o answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o give_v very_o gracious_a and_o powerful_a assistance_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v at_o trinity_n lecture_n on_o sabbath_n day_n i_o may_v say_v as_o jaber_n 1_o chron._n 4._o 10._o who_o say_v oh_o that_o thou_o will_v bless_v i_o indeed_o and_o be_v with_o i_o and_o god_n grant_v my_o request_n the_o next_o morning_n there_o come_v a_o woman_n to_o i_o and_o say_v she_o be_v trouble_v at_o the_o sermon_n that_o she_o can_v scarce_o sleep_v all_o night_n for_o she_o bid_v not_o go_v so_o far_o as_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n and_o that_o which_o add_v to_o the_o mercy_n be_v god_n keep_v i_o humble_a after_o this_o enlargement_n mar._n 31._o 1657._o i_o have_v a_o very_a evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n i_o be_v at_o a_o pinch_n for_o some_o money_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o i_o may_v be_v supply_v and_o that_o afternoon_n one_o to_o who_o i_o have_v lend_v a_o little_a money_n bring_v it_o i_o which_o be_v enough_o for_o my_o present_a necessity_n the_o circumstance_n be_v very_o remarkable_a i_o seek_v the_o lord_n also_o to_o be_v with_o the_o parish_n in_o the_o choice_n of_o their_o churchwarden_n and_o there_o be_v those_o two_o choose_v who_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o nomination_n i_o shall_v have_v choose_v myself_o apr._n 21._o i_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o fast_a to_o the_o lord_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_o with_o i_o in_o prayer_n the_o chief_a thing_n that_o i_o propound_v be_v to_o seek_v direction_n as_o to_o my_o preach_v on_o weekday_n among_o other_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n a_o supply_n of_o my_o want_n be_v in_o some_o strait_n for_o want_n of_o money_n that_o very_a night_n one_o bring_v i_o 10_o s._n for_o preach_v a_o funeral_n sermon_n which_o i_o expect_v not_o and_o the_o next_o morning_n the_o churchwarden_n of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n bring_v i_o 7_o l._n and_o upward_o whereby_o i_o be_v sufficient_o supply_v i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o