workful and watchful this passion is very industrious it 's never off from action nor doth it ever want expression It shrinks at neither service nor suffering it is oyl to the wheel of action It thinks no suffering intolerable so long as it enjoys the help of a true friend who will take up the heavyest end of the burthen putting oyle into the wound and joy into the heart by cheering considerations In afflictions sayth Job pitty should be shewed by a friend This is the discriminating time a friend is known in adversity If a man can delight in his friend when under a cloud when his lustre is obscured this speaks a fast friend and administers great delight we do not much value our entertainment in a prosperous estate all will admire the rising sun but to have an equal respect when declining this is rare and can proceed from nothing but an unchangable affection which excellently improves all opportunities and seasons to expresse that love and delight which is consonant unto it self nothing more sweet then endeared expressions these leave a tincture upon the heart many days after How do we â—owle such expressions in our thoughts as hony under our tongue Love is full of contemplation and invention and therefore cannot be wanting in expression Suitablenesse in recreation and businesse in the world is also considerable as that which compleats the happiness of this concern exceedingly if friends differ here much of their society will be lost Instance one man affects serious recreation another those that are most sensual these cannot hold correspondency one with another long but must certainly one time or another hazard a breach because that their recreations are not only different but diametrically contrary and consequently will occasion discontent on both sides A serious man though he may bear while he thinks there is some hopes of reclaiming yet he cannot alwaies do it because contrary to his reason affection and humour nor can he long suspend his censures on the other side pleasure will so prevail with him that loves it that he will defend it and contemn reason and religion too if it stand in opposition to or in competition with it pleasure being very attractive and prevailing nothing more Let your business as much as possible be the same at least nor contrary much of the sweetness of Friendship stands in living walking working together there is nothing a man is more impatient of then the absence of his friend O how he longs for his communion as the last sweetens and shortens time so the first imbitters it and makes it tedious the reason is ready because there is nothing so harsh as disappointments especially in those things wherein we expect the highest satisfaction and pleasure suitable to mens negotiations such are their conditions and affections If a mans businesse carry him far away so that he stands at a great distance to the object you will soon see coldnesse in affection carelesnesse and unconcernedeesse will follow immediatly and as clouds will darken the splendour of Frendship though it shined never so bright before and that because they cannot be capable of those acts of kindenesse which beautifies and maintains Frendship besides they meet with many diversions and temptations which like a moth will soon deface the beauty and glory of this concern There must be suitablenesse in the expression of our love we must not observe different methods in the expressing of our affections there is more in this then at the first view doth appear or we think of the want of this hath occasioned much difference among Friends and created many causless suspicions when their manner of expressions hath been contrary Instance some are more open and free others more close and reserved the first cannot believe any temper so contrary to generosity can haveany consistency with Frendship the latter suspects the former as altogether appearing in hyperboles thinking that they rise to high in their expression to be real and so censure and slight it though it be never so ingenious and certain But when that method is the same how confirmed and fixed is the frendship and this is not hard to be brought to passe among prudent persons which though at the first they seem very different yet they will soon agree if they argue the case and yield on both sides to that which comes nearest the rules of a perfect friendship in that latitude in which it ought to be considered I think this would be one of the first things I would study were I to contract a well grounded friendship I never affected hyperboles in friendship though some say in love they are most comely because by the same reason I may not believe some I may question all that is expressed by them A true expression is most pleasing and insinuating some truths may be more valued than others not that there is any defect in truth but there may be in them that receives it We value all truths but especially those we best understand and is of greatest use unto us Some truths may be so high that we cannot reach them others may be so contrary to some tempers that they will not believe them and hereby truth passes under a notion of falshood men are hardly brought to believe that in others which they cannot finde in themselves never insisting upon their own incapacity for it because that were a secret reproof and a close reflexion and therefore are more prone to conclude things impossible they cannot possesse then prize or value them in another Neither would I be too low in my expressions this were coming as short as the other was shooting beyond the mark because high affections are alwaies accompanied with proportionable expressions Nor could any thing mean be accepted where there are such vast expectations as in friendship but prudence may so regulate this affair that neither demonstration nor expression confirmation nor affection shall be wanting as also bend all things to the perfect rule so as there shall appear so much equality as shall reach and continue a real satisfaction and a right understanding of all things that at first seemed to render this sameness in expression impossible or at least uneasy Lastly above all disparity be careful of this that there be some proportion in your estates covet not a person much richer than your self to make a friend of you may run into more inconveniences then you are aware of in this respect sutableness here is as considerable as in any of the former I would not aim at an advantage here because as I would not have a friend that could not do me courtesies so I would not have too great a dependance upon him it is a more blessed thing to give than to receive I would rather take a friend that should share with me then one that should think my affection a purchase he made by his money If you fancy a friend that is rich or rather for his riches sit down
that prudence and conveniency assigns them for the repairs of the body and lower appetite which may be so weary in attending upon the rational appetite that pleasure may seem a burthen because unseasonable and they may prefer a sleepy stupdity before the most grateful recreation and the reason seems to be this because sence cannot bear equal pace with reason the body with the minde wise men in their most eager pursuit of knowledge had evermore a due respect to the body which if impaired the minde could not make its returns either so pleasant or beneficial as before now it is the great designe of friends so to regulate their affairs that a general content shall be given both to sence and reason answerable to their respective capacity Society as it is necessary upon a moral account so it is most natural God himself preached this doctrine in paradice it is not good for man to be alone Adam was no other way unhappy Paradise with all its pleasure could not make up this want his sociable nature was not to be contented without it Adam was as perfect in his primitive state as any creature could possibly be look into his understanding and there you will finde perfect light into his will and their exact rectitude his affections all pure without any dross his body full of beauty and comeliness add hereunto his constant communion with God who treated him with no other terms but love and kindeness yet after all this the Lord as a further demonstration of his favour to Adam he assigns him a companion the proportionableness of which is signified in that commendation he gives the woman when he presents her to Adam saying she was a help-meet for him all this illustrates the pleasure of society If Adam in paradise wanted society that was happy in every thing else how pleasant must Frendship be to us that are happy in nothing else comparatively what complacency and delight must needs spring from a state so peculiarly free and pleasant I might speak much of the delight and satisfaction to be found in this regard but that I shall reserve to another place The Fourth and last thing promised by way of preparation to this great concern is this that there must be so much equality in the person capacity of Friends which will be commensurate and adequate in every thing material relating to this rclation and state of Frendship for the better directing our inquisition in this great case a method will be necessary I would explain my meaning here with all caution and circumspection that I might not be mis-understood because the intricacy of the whole Discourse lies in this particular First I do not mean by this equality such an absolute equality as will admit of no disparity that is almost impossible and certainly unnecessary Men cannot meet in this concern as lines in the eenter no man can perfectly understand the heights and depths of his own minde so as to make a certain estimate of them and it must needs be without the reach of any other as the accidents of life in some inferiour things may make a difference as to the outward state so the perfections of the minde though not contrary may be unequal and that because one man may and doth excell another in particular things and this is so far from causing a disgust that it promiseth singular advantage for as a worthy man is dissatisfied though he hath treasured up great things while they remain obscure so he is highly contented to part them between himself and his friend and no less is he delighted to see his own worth outvied by his friend for whatsoever the one possesseth the other cannot want no matter where the propriety is when the use is in both the trade that Friends drive is giving and receiving in order to a mutual satisfaction beside were this seeming disparity wanting friends would miss one of their great ends no man is loved for himself It were well if we could love God at that rate there is a vast expectation of profit and pleasure among Friends and much of their satisfaction lies in this exchanging value for value and hereby they are both gainers and this upon a double account First they add each to others treasure by some additional excellency and then to their content because its mutual It is no cause of quarrel that one excels another in worthy qualities the one never loseth by the others gain and then there is much more delight in submitting the reason and wills in the voluntary intercourses and acts of Frendship then can be any other way and that because there is more love expressed in those acts and the more of love is in any thing the more sweet gratifying and contenting it is But to come to particulars And here I shall endeavour to shew what are those inequalities that are absolute and can never be otherwise and then what inequality that is that may be dispensed with and taken up when prudence speaks it necessary That I may not in stead of explicating intricate this material concern I shall promise these Four things wherein this inequality is to be found and is so interwoven into the composition and condition of the persons that no prudence can take up First The inequality between a Prince and a slave a wise man and a fool persons of different perswasions in matters of religion and in the â—ast place that inequality that is in some Relations First A Prince cannot without too base a conâ—iscention and diminution of his honour take his â—ave into his bosome this is so great a disparity â—hat no prudence can ever take up this is both â—n unnatural and unreasonable condescention Secondly There can be no equality between â— wise man and a fool if a wise man cannot make â—rendship with a person that is grosly ignorant because of the disparity that there is between them in respect of their reason as I shall shew anon much less with him that is so far from great reason that he hath none at all fools can never be so equallized as to comport with men of competent reason much less with wise men their natures are made up of contradiction there is that madness wilfulness and folly in the one that cannot consist with that gravity wisdom and humility of the other as one can never be raised to any congruity with the other so the other can never be so depressed and degenerated as to beaâ— any proportion with him no such amity can stand with so great an inequality I need not use any further argument for the confirmation of this assertion Give me leave to speak a word to the supposition which is that men of high parts sublimated minds cannot be so equalized as to be made fit subjects for a Frendship with the ignorant Men eminent in vertue as they cannot in honour associate themselves with them that are vicious so they cannot in wisdom make alliance with
in an equal conversation and must live by the same the Wise man observed that in a time of separation frendship was of a small signification Better saith he is a neighbour near then a brother afar off and he draws his argument from the incapacity of the one and the capacity of the other for all friendly acts intercourses its true frendship may last when by some accident the persons are divided but not in that vigour it did before it is a languishing friendship we may understand this by the similitude of the love of the iron the loadstone which ariseth from a hidden quality the motion of the iron towards the loadstone is slow while at a distance but quick when near and when it doth but touch it it cleaves so fast that unless forced 't will never part and when it is parted 't will at the furthest part of the world retain the vertue of the touch so Friends while at a distance move slowly but when together are so united that they cannot be separated without great force and violence and their separation is like the dividing the heart from the body now that there is nothing in the bare relation that can amount to friendship will be further evident by our daily experience which furnisheth us with instances of the great animosities among brethren and such aversions as cannot consist with friendship Look into the family of Adam and there you see murther into the Family of Isaac you would think you should not miss of kindeness there yet instead thereof we finde Esau consulting with himself how he should slay his brother this is most true that there may be much indeared affection between brethren occasioned by the equalness of their persons and conversation they having in them all other requisites arâ— first to be chosen as the most fit persons for friendship the relation being something and when both these meet the relation and frendship they exemplifie one the other and shine most illustriously but some may think I have pursued this subject too far I am sure it was with no designe to derogate from the just desert due to any relation yet I would not have them monopolize our esteem so as to snuffle out Frendship which so truly deserves our value I come now to the qualifications which are necessary in order to a well grounded frendship all that I have said hitherto is previous to what remains I hope none will expect frendship in an artificial dress attended with elegant phrases and words well accented this being both above my ability and far wide of my designe which is a general satisfaction in this material concern in the plainest way that I can glaâ—ing and gaudy embellishments being trivial accomplishments where truth is concerned which shines bright enough without them The First qualification is this there must be an intire affection and love among friends this is the principal hindge upon which this concern turns this being a philosophical discourse it will be necessary to touch upon love in general Love in the general nature of it is either rational and supream or sensual and subordinate in the sirst sence love is the most vigorous potent sovereign affectionate it sits as Queen Regent in the will and governs all the faculties love is the spring of humane actions and gives life being and motion to them all the other affections as desire hope joy fear anger all these are but the several forms and shapes os love for as the object of love is affected with this or that circumstance so is love proportionably invested with this or that form if the object be absent love goes out to meet it in desire if present it solaceth it self in fruition and delight if under danger and hazard love trembleth with fear if it be impeded or hindred love waxeth angry and impatient when there is any possibility of enjoying the object love moves nimbly after it if impossible of enjoyment so that the object be lost love clothes it self in mourning habit there is also a kinde of love in the sensual and animal part but this is more passionate that in the superiour part more rational this is more uncertain that more fixed this more confused that more regular and uniform There is a threefold love First Divine and that is altogether spiritual and highly rational Secondly there is a natural love and that may be bruitisn as well as rational Thirdly there is a moral love and that consists in a mean betwixt both evermore the thing beloved gives the denomination to love if the object be divine it is a divine love if sensual it is a bruitish love if moral it is a moral love Love is an affection of union whereby we desire and enjoy perpetual union with the thing beloved and there are these two effects that immediatly flow from this union First it is transforming and changing by love we are changed into a thing more noble or more vile so that we debase our selves when we love any unworthy and inferiour thing whatever we love we give a kinde of dominion over us so that the will loseth its dignity when it loves abject things Again Love inlarges and widens the heart not only for the reception of the bounty and generosity of the object but the object it self is that the heart goes out after when the will is filled with love it awakens all the powers and moves all the faculties towards the object the understanding meditates and is enquiring after the excellency of the thing beloved still musing and plodding about it the will is obstinate and will not be charmed of its object the thoughts they are still kindling the affections who are in eager pursuit after the thing beloved but I shall speak more particularly to this matter and explain my meaning in this particularly My meaning is that there must be an intire love not only to the qualities of the minde though those be most worthy but this love must reach the superficies of the body if that be ungrateful there cannot be a complacential Frendship As the interiour part must have Analogy to reason so the external part must be accommodated to the fancy in short there must not be conceived in the sancy a disgust against the form and condition of the person all love begins with the person if that be displeasing and ungrateful nothing will satisfie there is that in the person of every man that either obligeth or disobligeth the fancy instance there may be some personal defects which are so natural that they cannot be divided from the person and these may be very displeasing or there may be some cross dispositions they may be so riveted by custome that they will hardly if ever be cured Love studies the person in the first place and it is most necessary because as there is a kinde of antipathy in some persons to some creatures so that they cannot be brought to take any pleasure in them so many
value the life of his friend The calm temper is the best accommodated for frendship how much better is a handful of green herbs where quietness is then a stalled oxe with strife A malitious man cannot be grateful he is satisfyed with nothing if a man be good he grudges that if he be evil he will revile him though he be worse abundantly himself he is like the witches that put on their eyes when they went abroad but when they came home they put them in their pockets if he fancies an undervalue he will hate a man for that and he will never be serious about the cause of that hatred but pronounce judgment right or wrong upon the person offending as he pretends he will dispence with all manner of justice in this case he will do as Felix did by Paul may be promise a hearing at a more convenient season but that season shall never come he having much more pleasure in aggravating quarrels then studying peace Secondly The second qualification is sutableness in conversation and expression There must be an agreement here or else no amity and herein is most of the sweetness of frendship can two walk together except they are agreed walking signifies all manner of familiar converse and sociable delight and this is very pleasant I would rather have a friend that could delight me than one that could enrich me there is a vast content in the conversation of friends especialally in their communications recreations negotiations In conversation we express those endearments and affections that feed a real frendship in communicating our joys and griefs the first is doubled the last is divided with how much satisfaction do friends chat away sad times that otherwise would seem tedious either by disappointments or actual sufferings not seldom they discourse themselves out of a pettish humour changing distracting thoughts and ungrounded resolutions for a calm and serious temper and this may be done by solid and serious arguments wherein there is not only profit but beauty Solomon says a word spoken in season how good is it It is like apples of gold in pictures of silver friends they have much variety of business to communicate as their fears and doubts perfections and imperfections their hopes and delights especially their affections and covenant of frendship which is often renewed There must be this intercourse between frends to avoid suspition if they will be happy and this is exceeding necessary because fear offers violence to nature takes away mans strength draws a cloud upon all his comforts and lies like a talent of lead upon the heart we are most times more unhappy in what we fear then in what we feel How did Belshazars knees smite one against another and his very joynts were loosed when the hand-writing appeared upon the wall Is it not many times so with the best of us when God writes bitter things against us a friend in this extremity of affairs comes like the shepherds with tidings of great joy declares our peace with God his good will towards us These are the heart-cheating arguments that winds up the heart above those fears and like the sun dissipates the clouds and opens a door of hope fear overwhelms a man casts him into a swouning fit a gracious and serious friend revives and restores him to his strength again Doubts are as inseparable to men in their most serene temper as motes from the air in the clearest day or spots from the moon in the brightest night there is much cause of hesitation in men of the purest and most innocent conversations they are not without their entanglements many a perplexing web they spin but these may be unravelled by a judicious friend who happily may be skilful as Ioseph was to answer those riddles of providence and resolve those doubts that at present seems intricate and past finding out Ioseph was such a friend to the chief butler men are many times reasoned off their doubts and inforced to throw them away because they cannot abide the test and conviction of reason Ionathan and David the best friends we ever read of they spent much time in communicating their dispondences and trouble Saith David there is but a step betwixt me and death how affectionately did Ionathan resolve this doubt who alone was the most likely instrument to secure David which he did more then promise in his answer to Davids scruple where he saith whatever thy soul desires I will do it for thee and so goes on with pregnant arguments of his faithfulness to David whereby he cleared the most puzling doubt of all by expressing his care and kindness in a matter that concerned Davids life the preserving of which must loose Ionathan his crown Ionathan lying under this temptation no wonder if David had doubts in such times as these are friends must renew their covenants as they did and acquiesce in the faithfulness of each other Again friends communicate their Joys and hopes joy will strengthen nature as effectually as fear will impair it he is no friend that will not be more ready to impart his comforts then his sorrows which he may do with more freedom less caution and may promise himself a mutual satisfaction which doubles the content There are many things that cheers the heart but these being according to the conditions of the person concerned we cannot well define them but this in the general observe that whatever is absolutely necessary earnestly expected justly due if accomplished is a matter of joy delight and cannot faithfully be concealed whatever my friend takes pleasure in I must not withhold but rather augment illustrate and amplify it always annexing a complacent behaviour as the sittest temper for that season when the heart is upon the wing of hope joy that will raise the social communication of friends to a high pitch of satisfaction when the heart is full of pleasure it is full of love and resolution these being as natural to joy and hope as discontent and harshnes is to fear and doubt a merry heart makes a joyful countenance what is more pleasing then a cheerful aspect hope is to the soul as the anchor is to the ship it keeps it steady among the most perplexing waves Joy is a passion arising from the apprehension of some good we have in hand or in hope relating to our selves or others did I apprehend any thing in my self in the world or in my friend that could be matter of pleasure unto him I could be neither kind nor civil to conceal it nor could any thing be matter of joy unto me if I could not impart it at best it would be but a half joy Lastly love and delight must be imparted also in this equal conversation love is the hand within the wheel which turns the whole concern as the heart must not be without the habits of an intire affection so our conversation must not be without the acts in our daily commerce Love is
it been Christs love to the soul of Iohn that was intended by that appellation that had been inward and spiritual and could not have been understood by them and we do not finde our Saviour by any declaration demonstrate any such thing so that nothing can rationally be concluded here but that the disciples did gather this love of Christ to John from some outward and visible cause as his friendly discourse and behaviour towards Iohn as also the intimacy that was observed between them as lying in his bosome and constant communion and his indulgence all which we shall consider more particularly in the following arguments Secondly the familiar converse between our Lord and Iohn is another propertie and eminently declares friendship John is said to lye in the bosome of Christ and this seems to import much intimacy and much affection we dearly love them we take into our bosomes yet this is but an outward expression and therefore may be a moral frendship and the rather because these imbraces are the proper acts of a moral friendship Now as the former denomination did expresse our Saviours transcendent kindnesse to Iohn beyond the other disciples so this doth no lesse speak the intimacy that was between them beyond what was enjoyed by the rest of the disciples It is probable Peter lay as near the heart of Christ as Iohn in a spiritual sense and many believers since if we could not conclude our Saviours love to us but by such expressions we must be shut up under despair nor could the disciples themselves have been without just cause of despondency doubtless that which did satisfy their spirits was they looked upon it only as an outward expression of his love to Iohn as also the delight he had in his person happily for some obliging quality our Saviour saw in him more than in the rest and this made them rather incline to honour than envy Iohn who unquestionably was exceeding honourable and happy in this relation of friendship wherein he stood towards our Saviour And this may be the better credited if we consider that it is not usual with men to be unsatisfied with one another touching their elections of friendship nor think themselves disobliged that they are passed by and others pitched upon because they allow a freedom to every man in that case according as his fancy and affection leads him The third Argument is drawn from the interest Iohn seemed to have in our Saviour above the rest of his Disciples as appears in that case of Iudas Iohn 13. 26. and when our Saviour signified that one should betray him they were all amazed saying is it I is it I Mark 14. 19. and none presumed to ask our Saviour a resolution in this doubtful case such was the distance between our Lord and them but this distance was not between Iohn and him for the Disciples no sooner applyed themselves to Iohn to move our Savior in the case but the question was immediatly answered nor do we finde that Iohn used the least ceremony in his addresses to our Lord but with as much freedom as possible asked the question of our Saviour who readily answered with as much satisfaction and this is a notable property of friendship because this act carries in it the greatest intimacy propriety both which must needs make up a full and perfect frendship including every thing that can make that capacity happy Fourthly It is very probable Iohn had more of the secrets of Christ than the rest and this is no small property of frendship the communion that passed between our Saviour and Moses and Elias in the Mount was a secret many of the disciples knew nothing of yet it was not peculiar to Iohn for Peter and Iames was there also Mark 9. 2. by which it appears Christ had peculiar favours which he contributed as he pleased I verily conceive that person who was most especially beloved was not without peculiar discoveries at least of those things which concerned his person it 's probable Iohn knew more of our Saviours prudential proceedings and moral transactions then the rest did I conclude it from hence because though the rest of the disciples were ignorant of this treachery of Iudas it is very like Iohn was not if so he would not have needed an incitement to be resolved who should betray our Saviour having the advantage of lying so near him as in his bosom we may probably conjecture he would have readily asked that question and we may as rationally conceive that our Saviour had not only discovered this sad and perplexing providence publickly to all his disciples but privately to Iohn the beloved disciple and there is the more credit to be given to this supposition because we know that there can be no frendship where there is not a communication of affairs and we find our Saviour did often discourse of his death to all his disciples and therefore most likely to Iohn the beloved disciple and friend of Christ friends delighting as much sometimes to discourse their afflictions as other times to discourse their affections it appears by what hath been already observed that our Saviour had a friend so I conceive we may without prejudice conclude he did not dâ—ny the use and benefit of him as to social satisfaction service content and pleasure yet notwithstanding from all this or any thing else we connot conclude Iohn had more knowledg in spiritual things than the other disciples who we know were ignorant of many truths and some fundamentals for they dreamed of an earthly kingdom that our Saviour should have here on earth and it was after his resurrection before they were informed of many things touching him and then our Saviour sent his spirit that taught them all things It is probable Iohn was no more instructed than the rest before because if any of the disciples had understood those things it is likely none would have been ignorant for we see they were willing to inform each other by the discourses that passed between them at the sepulchre in their travail to Emaus about our Saviours death and resurrection nor do we ever finde that the disciples did ever addresse themselves to Iohn to be informed of any of Christs miracles or any hidden and divine thing yet we know they often hesitated about such things and reasoned among themselves concerning them so that the conjecture is pretty clear that the outward acts of Christs prudential negotiations upon earth as his travelling and healing and other outward acts may be better known to Iohn the beloved disciple than any of the rest Fifthly another argument of our Saviours affection to Iohn may be drawn from his iudulgence to Iohn We never read that he rebuked Iohn as he did Peter by any particular reflection Chriâ—t severely checks Peter and calls him devil get thee behind me satan No doubt but Iohn was subject to mistakes as well as Peter for we find that Iohn was as drowsy as
shun all unfaithful repetitions I mean by this such as for matter represents things absolutely contrary to the meaning of them that speak It is usual with us to wrest words according to our own fancies good meanings may be often so ill-worded that they may prove matter of reproach and scorn especially because often seconded by smart and cruel reflexions acceptable words are very pleasant such as these Paul refers to when he says let your words be seasoned with salt administring grace to the hearers such words as these leave a kinde of titillation and pleasure upon the heart which sweetness absence and reconciles all crosse accidents that are present whereas on the other side contrariwise evil words leave a disrellish upon the heart and extreamly imbitters and aggravates such accidents Evil words are the ground of all quarrels it is exceeding necessary as well as pleasing that there be a habit of good words among friends because the tongue is not seldom like an unruly and unfaithful servant that very often runs without the consent of his master and is not seldom prompted by passion we think it a sufficient excuse when the injury is done to say I was rash and spake what I did not believe or think This is breaking my head and giving a plaister and very seldom signifyes any thing in reference to a reconciliation besides passion doth not study privacy and if a scandalous word reaches the ear of a third person it may prove like a gangrene that will admit of no cure and surely provides work for the Devil and his imps who would rejoice in such an opportunity that they might aggravate things to a final separation Solomon gives us a hint of this and saith a talebearer separates chief friends and St. James tells us such a tongue is set on fire of hell therefore we had need have the more care and conclude all our disputes with this exhortation of S. Paul Let all bitternesse wrath anger clamour evil speaking be put away from you and be kinde one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another as God for Christs sake hath forgiven you Again never passe sentence against your friend or willingly be judge in any case that concerns him especially if the matter be hidden and intricate or if you finde in your heart the least partiality otherwise you wrong your self and your friend both your self in indulging a passion your friend in condemning the truth or at least injuring of it which must needs suffer where partiality is concerned If you must judge because your friend will have it so let him not lose his end who expects from you justice mixed with clemency and charity and be as willing to clear as to condemn if no cause very criminal appears Lastly banish all things that may alienate your heart from your friend Entertain him kindly let him have a seat in your heart think of him with delight love his company bear with him though he appear sometimes not so amiable commend him when he doth well excuse him when he is in fault cast the mantel of love upon his infirmities win him rather by love then fear study his humour think it not beneath you to comply though little reason induces you to it at that instance contemplate all his vertues and imitate them decline his errors and by a contrary example convinee him live together love rejoice together comunicate your vertues improve your society to a mutual advantage he only is fit for frendship that can do all those offices for which frendship is excellent treat your friend handsomly and nobly multiply those endearments upon him that shall make him your own inseparably improve society by frequent commerce nothing in this relation more endearing than repeated fruition and in this respect frendship surpasses all other relations because it is without disgust study what friends you would have upon the exactest election and be that example is much frendship is not for contemplation and shew but for material comfort and mutual satisfaction and is advantageous to the spiritual as well as rational parts when religion and reason go hand in hand the frendship is most illustrious because singularly advanc't hereby I come now to the Last thing promised viz. the conclusion by way of commendation here see the illustration and confirmation of the happiness honour and excellency of the capacity and state of frendship In order hereunto give me leave to set before you the best and highest example possibly in heaven or earth the man Christ Jesus who may if we consult reason and Scripture be verily concluded to contract a frendship with John the Evangelist We do not find that our Lord took any delight in sensuall pleasures upon earth yet it is more than probable he had pleasure in this rational recreation of a moral friendship which may easily reach our belief if we examine his own books the holy Scriptures that testifieâ—â— of him if the cause may be concluded by the effect the thing by its properties then it will not be hard to prove that there was a moral friendship between Christ and John and that which seems to strengthen the argument may be this if friendship be the improvement of the rational part as it hath been already proved then it must necessarily be in our saviour who improved both naturals and spirituals to the highest perfections imaginable nor is this any paradox that Christ should improve in his naturals for it is undenyable he was a child and in minority before he came to riper years and it cannot be thought that our Saviour had as much perfection in his reason when he was wrapped in his swadling hands in the Inn as he had when he was thirty years of age teaching in the temple without question he improved in his reason as he multiplyed years and had a more imperfect use of his reason in his youth than after he came to be a grown man nor can it be absurd to believe our Saviour having so sweet a nature was not without some sociable pleasure as a diversion for the repair of his humane nature which was often afflicted vexed and grieved and that his humane nature needed repairs may be concluded by his eating drinking and sleeping John 4. 6. it is said Jesus being wearied sat down upon the well othertimes he withdrew from the multitude and conveyed himself from them when they pressed upon him and no diverfion so innocent and had so litle temptation as this of friendship There are these seven arguments following that seems to prove this and they are all eminent properties of a moral friendship First the denomination given to John that he was the disciple whom Jesus loved we finde John among the disciples rarely known by any other name and this plainly discovers the love that our Saviour had to the person of Iohn in a moral sense and this is most evident because it came within the observation of the rest of the disciples for had