so much the more ought they to vphold their coniunction heedfully haue an eye from the very beginning to shun all occasions of discention and discord as considering that pieces of wood greenly coÌ„bined together will be disioynd and misplacd by the least occasion in the worlde but contrariwise when the ioynts are well knit and assured by long proofe of time hardly can they be sunderd or seperated again by force or fire And as we see strawe doth easily take fire so may it as quickly be quenched again except some sudden matter be added to help and mantaine it euen such should we esteeme the loue of new maried folks to be which is not kindled but by the heate of youth especially the sweete beauty of the body so that it cannot be firme or durable if it be not grounded by conformitie of good and honest manners which begets a riciprocall affection of one to the other Now as for such as cannot endure the first frowardnes riotes of their new matches I may properly coÌ„pare them to those that deeme a raisin grape like to another because perhaps before they saw vergis made of it And so concerning the new married who disdain their husbands at the first meetings they do neither more or lesse then like him that because the Bee stuÌ„g him a little casts away the quaÌ„tity of hony which she then left in his hand Al things therfore especial as concerne our affections ought to be common in marriage and contrariwise all outrages and iniuries to be vtterly banished For if Cato depriued a Romane Senatour of his office dignitie because in the presence of his daughter he kissed his wife which in mine opinion was sentence too seuere what imagine you should be done to such as offend iniurie and strike their wiues Say she be hard fauored difformed it is lesse praise to kisse embrace and toy with her in companie then the shameis reputed greater to strike abuse mistear me her be it neuer so secret or how soeuer and this hath bene the fault of very many as I could make knowen by sundry examples The delight of loue and benesit thereof according to the opinion of the wisest consisteth in foure things viz. sight speech kissing and feeling which is last of all and though each of them doth merit a most ample discourse yet he that would know their seuerall particularities let him search the Poets who haue al spoken like most skilful maisters likewise let him peruse the Philosophers and among the rest Plato in his Conuiuium where very largely he hath set downe his minde and not onely haue they written liberally hereon but proued the force of loue witnessed the same by their owne endured passions As for the first and second poyntes they are the two sences wherby all knowledge enters into a man to wit sight and hearing and it seemes that our soule taketh her forme by these two sences for whosoeuer is depriued of them hath no difference at all from a brute beast The Philosophers talke of a common sence at the beginning of our brayne whereto all the feeligs of the fantasie do addresse themselues so doth iudgement and memorie likewise Loue then beget teth it selfe by the eyes which are the gates whereby our conceites do enter they drawe our inclination according to their iudgement raising a desire which is called loue appoynting it to the mansion of the hart which is the reason that in loue we talke so much of the hart not because the hart is an onely member that hath life but in regard of the soule which woorks not but by the organes and instruments of the hart conuaying all our other partes to the hart as the httle finger cannot stirre it selfe but by the opperation of the hart and the hart by our will which principally abydeth therein Why then when the eye hath brought to our common sence the sigure of beauty fancie who is nearest neighbour to our common sence is immediately moued and sendes a message thereof to the hart which foorth with desires delight and fruition of that which to him appeareth so beautifull Now concerning hearing it likewise greatly helpeth loue for communication of the mindes together for the beautie of the minde consisteth in reason which by speech imparteth it selfe vnto vs and hearing carieth all things from the sence common to fancie and iudgement imprinting so much in the memorie which afterward succeedeth as prouokes both desire appetite and will Virgill hath most excellently described how Dido became amorous of Aneas saâ—ing that hauing heard of himselfe his worthie and famous deedes as also what daungers he had escaped his height of valour which he seemed to haue made good proofe of by little and little entred her minde and opinion and vrged her to this induction by her self It is not possible but he must needs be descended of very good place for a villaine neuer could performe such enterprise his vertue his race and al else so much moued her as in the end she was caught fast in the snaries of loue Vertue beautie and honestie are the true allurers of loue and therfore Terqum was not so much mooued with the beauty of Lucrece as her chastity honest demeanor finding her well exercised busied in her house not idle slothfull as he had done many other amidst their pleasures bonquets and vanities Comunication and speeche declare what a man is his wisedome and learning is not knowen but only therby now knowledge is in meÌ„ according to the thing which best sitteth their honor and wherby they game most the loue and fauour of men Therefore speech by good right is most requisitem loue to testesie how what a manist for it is written that Soerates seing a hansome young youth sayd to him Speake to thee I may both see and know thee Next vnto speaking is placed kissing and truely if the pleasure were not felt which ensueth therby my selfe would deeme it strange why there is sometime such forbearaunce from kissing and why we loue rather to kisse ones mouthe rather then any one thing as faire and sweet but experience teacheth vs that especially among the rest kissing is a great parte of delight a mother kisseth her son a brother his sister and in Fraunce it is most cömon be cause it is counted as a saluting chiefely when one comes from any farre place Some say that the minds doo coÌ„municate therby and haue written wonderfull matters of kisses but what is knowen by sence hath no need of further proofe as when we see a thing black or white it is vaine to de maund any other proofe when we handle a thing hard or soft when we heare a sound lowd or lowe when we tast a thing sowre or sweet in al these other reason is not required And so say I of kissing it is needlesse to demaund if it be pleasant or no for in kissing it maketh proofe of it selfe
preserued in the kinde wherein first of al she brought it into the worlde And this is an influence as common to beastes as men issuing from the prouidence of nature as hunger and thrist is giuen to man as well as beastes to the end he should maintayne his body which takes alteration by euapored norishment and desireth continuall new fomentation and so hunger mstructeth man when is meete time to feede himselfe But leaue we this loue or indignation naturall which rather is beastly then humane and let vs speake of that loue which addresseth it selfe to the minde when a man loues a fayre person wise and of good grace And to speake ingenerally of beautie it ought to be as well vnderstood of the minde as the bodie for one is amorous of the minde to acknowledge in the other person somewhat or other agreeing with our nature such as is liking and agreeable with vs Now to know what ioy one minde hath of an other we may answere that as one bodie is glad of an other bodie so one minde of an other so the fruition delight is in the same manner simpathized Then he that loueth desires that the thoughts of his mind may vnite ioyne themselues with the thoughts of the person beloued and as the body of the one receiues the others bodie in corporall pleasure so the minde might meete with another minde and giue it selfe therto as in communication of hartes so of willes seruing one anothers vse and taking on eyther part a mutuall concord in desire and no greater delight can be spoken of then when one findes himselfe as well beloued as he doth loue This may we further discerne in that God desireth our loue of vs vrging it to be giuen with all our hart by reason on his behalfe he loues vs infinitely we must then confesse that pleasure goes before loue which is a delight conceiued in the minde as he which desires the pleasure of a woman apprehendeth in his mind and imagination the delight he is to mâ—oy and so sometymes as if he had performed it is he pleased fully satisfied which is the thing that we call to loue In like manner he that loues a vertuous body desires to be in her good grace and so reciprocally to be beloued Behold then wherin the benefit of loue coÌ„sisteth nor caÌ„ any assigne other cause of the good which is felt by delight of the mind then that we find of our selues which makes euery man well borne desire to be reputed esteemed loued of euery one especially theÌ„ whoÌ„ he loueth reuerenceth as of his prince of honorable gentlemen and al his other wel willers beside Neuerthelesse because it happeneth often times that when one speakes of loue we rather vnerstand the loue which a man beares to a woman then that which one man caries to another so may I well saye and that by good right a man loues a woman more then he can doe any man whatsoeuer for there is no one but will confesse that two cords or strings binde and hold more strongly then one can do If then it be so this must necessarily be likewise graunted that man and woman beeing ioyned together in body and minde their loue is more firme and strict then that of man to man can be beeing lincked together but in minde onely Yet will I not denie for al this but that a stable and firme bond is found in one mans minde to another for their vertues if then the vertues in a womaÌ„ are not such as may answere and agree with them in her husband then doubtlesse I must confesse that the loue betweene men is much more great then the other of a man toward a woman But in equallitie of vertues I say a man loues a woman better then he can doe a man because man is not a mind onely nor a bodie onely but a mind and bodie ioyned togeather and while the mariage of the minde to the bodie indureth there is such societie betweene them that the one suffers the others infirmitie reioyceth and pertakes in contentment or otherwise It appeareth then that the mind dependeth altogether on the bodie as is playnely noted because the bodie is the organe and instrument of the mind and as the memorie of man looseth it selfe when the vessell of the brayne is offended or abused so likewise doth iudgement and common sence for we see there is no difference betweene a foole and a wise man but the health disposition of the braine and not of the minde as the minde being made of one and the selfe same matter but performing their functions by the bodies organes So we see that a man distempered by wine fuming vp into his brayne becomes like a foole or a frantique man then hereby may we well perceiue that there is a agreat simpathie and coniunctioÌ„ betweene the minde and the bodie wherevpon I conclude the loue of men toward women to be great when the minde and bodie delight and meete together by coniunction And because some will say there is not found so great amitie betweene a brother and sister or kinsman as with her that enioyeth more prâ—â—â—te societie euen so the delight is better agreeable man being no no way participating of any thing then by meanes of the bodie And if we should neede to produce diuinitie we know that God requires aswel the seruice of our bodies as of our mindes the sacramentes are applyed to the body aswel as to the mind and the body aswell as the minde must participate after this life of good or euill in the other world in briefe without the body a man were not a man neyther could be capable of knowing any thing which may be gathered by the disposition of our common sence wherto all the other sences apply themselues and that by sight hearing and the other as helpers the soule receiues enstruction which sight hearing being taken from man he is then no other but as a brute beast insensible But it is true that I make great difference betweene the delight of loue in a beast and the other propper in a man for that in a beast it goes no further then the body with out any more matter and is not moued but by nature onely to ingender but man hath the delight of the minde and did such pleasure of the body serue to no other end but to expresse the contentment of the minde yet were it as necessarie as our speech to be an instance of our thoughtes neyther can a man declare his good will and intents but by the ministrie of the mouth and other signes of the body In like manner the greatest affection is made apparant by kisses mutuallimbracings and other apt instances of the body and I dare affirme that the man which truely loues neuer findes the delight of the body so pleasing as when he sees his Lady on her behalse dehuer like teshmonie of her loue to him and that with a
truely and doth whatsoeuer he can for another but he must needes be displeased when he beholdes his loue not to be requited but is answered with strangenesse and ingratitude as if all his seed hath beene bestowed vpon a barren soyle and all his trauaile prooues fruitlesse returning him no profite But they who once are entred into a league of true amitie ought on both sydes verie carefully preserue their allianuce for if at anye time it chaunce to bee bruised and broken if it vnite agayn afterward it is very wonderfull except consideration of that which caused the breache doo prooue the meanes to help it againe else it had beene much better for eyther part that such a vnion had neuer beene betweene them Of the passions of Loue. The sixt Discoure LOue is a passion so forcible in our soules as therein all affections are contayned and comprised Foure things there are that do torment our mindes and hat in such sort as they seeme like the windes that tosse a ship vp and downe to wit hatred loue feare and hope These foure passions are in loue and in such order are they there as they can neuer be excluded thence The Poets in their writings haue left vs sufficient testemonie thereof but muchmore is that which we feele and finde in our owne selues Therefore in regard of these foure affections a man is hindered in iudgement and so by good right is loue figured and set foorth to be blinde These foure one after another in their seuerall degrees doo occupie and labour the mindes of the amorous and holdes them as it were in a continuall traualye for when hope lifteth vp feare and distrust castes downe agayne looue makes a man imagine it a pleasure but then some vnkinde crosse turnes is to greefe and then he growes in hate of that which impeached him in his pleasure But aboue all that which procureth moste paine is the priuate looue we beare to our selues which at the first fight may seeme very straung because he that looues not hateth him selfe as one affirmeth and there is nothing more contrarie to looue then this Philaftia which is nothing else but looue of our selues Notwithstanding because I haue so found it by experience I say that he which looueth and is not againe requited with the lyke feeles nothing to him more insupportable then to see himselfe misprised not listned to nor regarded for then he growes to contempte of himselfe that he is not of any worth hansome or gracious but lothsome and vnfightly when he beholdes an other preferd before him and he repulsed at the very first onset then he laies all blame he can deuise on him selfe alleadging these perswasions that if he were of any desert or any matter woorth affecting were in him his mistresse would haue giuen him better entertainement or else at the least would haue made some account of him And so much the more as nature hath giuen vs a care to prochase to our selues all aduantages and benefits to the end that what she hath brought foorth might encrease and be encreased in the first intirnesse euen so is grefe the more hurtfull when a man cannot reach to the degree of others affabilitie and attayne those good partes necessarie to make himselfe affeced so that a man holding nothing dearer then emiche himselfe with such graces as are generally beloued and desired feeles an exceeding dislike when he perceiues himselfe faultie and some noted defect makes him repulsed and not esteemed And it is very true that we neuer know our owne imperfections till we growe to desire and aduancemente of our selues for when we perceiue our crossing and constrayning then we doo finde more acknowledgment of our selues When a man keepes a piece of golde in his pursse or chest he knowes not then the estemation of it he sees it hath the couller lookes very fayre and hath the stampe impressed on it but when he bringes it abroad would deliuer it in payment and sees it brought to poysing to endure the touche or sounding and then it proues counterfeict by publique oppinion why then he findes himselfe nothing enriched by the piece but a matter which is vtterly vnaduantageable The tryall of a man is when he makes offer of him selfe and standes taxed to abyde good lyking or disgrace If then he be refused first of all he findes fault with his want of desert because indeede we naturally holde it as a singular commendation to be perfect in all partes and beeing desirous of honour we couet to be so esteemed by others It followes then that a man in this case nothing accounted of greeues because hee cannot compasse his inent and sees no other helpe yet well vnderstanding that as he looues his mistresse for a certayne occasion to wit because she is fayre gracious gentle and honest so should he on his parte haue somewhat wherby to gaine her loue for loue groundes his foundation vppon some especiall cause Then when he sees he hath nothing good in him-selfe whereby to attract mooue and procure her affection toward him then he growes out of all hope of compassing his purpose then he becomes sad melancholique solitarie shunning the light and societie of men Neuer-the-lesse as we can very quickly make our selues beleeue that there is some matter of worth remayning in vs then hope yeeldes some mittigation but comming then presently agayne to perceiue that we are not of any reckoning eyther because the opinion of people is diuers and oftentymes a woman setteth her lyking on a man of least descart alas it is impossible to conceiue how much the poore minde is then tormented with continuall cursings exclaiming on the houre of our birth But what would such a man man doe if he had a iudge there present to censure on his cause in loue Doubtlesse hewould conceiue some hope that the good nesse of his plea should be to his aduantage and so to compasse that by iustice which otherwise by fauour is vtterly denyed him But the estate of a man dependes on the inclynation of his mistresse she is of this humour heere then she takes pleasure annon to be there and will not resolutely determine on any thing but still is chaunable in her oppinions VVhat remedie can the poore man apply to these moodes he now intreates to proceede by her grace and not in the iustice of his cause his mistresse is the iudge and himselfe standes for his tryall he beginnes his plea but she is become so humorous as the more she is followed desired and entreated the further of flyes she closing her eyes cares and hart altogether farre dissenting from them of best crudition who hate to be touchte with any act of vngentlenesse There are two wayes to winne a woman by to wit delectation which makes her beautie esteemed and so to be desirous of iouissaunce of which kinde there be many which seeme colde enough outwardly eyther by course of nature in themselues or deeming that they are fayre
Fancies Ague-fittes Or Beauties Nettle-bed Wherein one nightes lodging will cost nine monethes Nettling Handled in sixe Discourses pithie pleasing and profitable Patere aut abstine LONDON Printed by G. Simson for William Iones dwelling at Holborne conduit at the signe of the Gunne 1599. To the right worshipfull Master William Basset Esquire one of her Maiesties Iustices of the peace in both the Counties of Derbie and Stafford Likewise to the most vertouâ— Gentlewoman his wife all health and happinesse most hartily wished DEbtes of what antiquitye soeuer are not by delay discharged neither promises by long protraction impeached from performance How iustly both these right worshipfull appertaine to me though happilie out of date in your too long expectation I may be sory for no sooner compassing and you in fauour wil I hope receiue what comes at last excusing all errors with the common addage better late then neuer When your worship was high sheriffe of Stafford-shire as some-way to expresse thankfulnesse for the fauours then founde I promised you that in such forte as this I would erelong salute ye But being hindred by a long sicknesse as also conuenient meanes to discharge my promise I could neuer till this instant be so fortunate as to greete you with any thing woorthie your viwe or sufficient to plead the least parte of performance And though my conceite heerof may be greate yet how you shall thinke therof may well be doubted because oppinions are as varyous as mens humours are diuers yet the sound beleefe I haue in your euer-affable nature makes mee hope that the meannes of my gift shall be shaddowed with the intire depth of great good will and what wantes in this in some other heerafter will be better supplied Nor seek I to be free from my former bond of promise by this sillie trifle in respect of so great deseruing but rather that your worship would take this onward to arme ye with some hope of attayning to the rest and that withal to expresse I am willing to continue yours in dutie till the very vttermost be discharged Both this my selfe and what else remaynes in me I intreat your worship kindely to conster on for you shal finde them readie on the least occasion to vse them In meane while praying for all happie blessings to attend and follow you as also the most vertuous Gentle-woman your wife whom heauen enritch with blessed sight of her hopes ioy I humbly commend ye both to his protection who hath hitherto had care of you and will euermore comfort you The Argument of each seuerall discourse Of Beautie Dis 1. Of Loue. Dis 2. Of the meanes to compasse fauour and acceptaunce Dis 3. Of the considerations of Loue Dis 4. Of Iealosie Dis 5. Of the passions of Looue Dis 6. Of Beautie The first discourse I Knowe not if among those benefits bestowed vppon the body beauty deserue to haue any such account made of it as we do of halth agilitie strength and disposition because Beautie is not any thing at all felt by the person indued there with neyther serues but to such as see it and to them whom it giueth delight Now to know if by Beautie there doth ensue any commoditie the question is problematicall and may be debated as for the affirmatiue so likewise for the negatiue for it appeares that nature bestowing beautie on any did it to make them beloued and that which possesseth the hartes of men may be good right be termed mightie and drawes all sortes of commodities to it not hauing neede of any thing in the protection of others Briefely it is well knowen what good those famous courtezanes got by it as Flora Layis Lamia and their like moreouer it is necessarie we should remember that Beautie is such a gift of nature as all the gold in the world cannot giue vs the like for eloquence science and gentilitie are attayned only by studie and diligence If then no small estimation be to be made of the fauoure good grace and loue of men we must confesse Beautie to be a benefit at least the cause thereof in winning and procuring vs such frendes But when on the other side I consider that those frendes which are followers of Beautie be rather louers of their owne pleasures and voluptuousnes so that they loue not indeede the beautifull body but better may be called enemies yea traitours to the honor and good renowne of Beautie then any true freendes or well willers I rest in my former oppinion and dare not repute beautie to be a benefit VVhen likewise I call auncient histories to memorie I finde how hurtful beautie was to Lucretia albeit she was most chast and vertuous to modest Susanna also and discreet Penelope mirrours and examples of perfect loyaltie both they and an infinite number of their like had bene most happie if their beauties had not beene so much coueted and desired In like manner I consider that such as are followers of beautie haue no respect but of their owne passions and no care at all of beauties reputation because if beautie in some sorte doth bring commonditie to such as are adorned therewith as perhaps to commaund mens goodes at their pleasure yet can they not for all that ouerrule their harts and willes for many times they giue their goods away to enioy their pleasure and they that yeeld thereto make sale both of their bodies and honor submitting themselues to base prostitution onely for monye Such women therefore cannot iustly terme themselues mistresses when to haue a little power of their goods they make their owne persons as seruantes to me so for the bare title of Lady of their money they make men Lords of their affections nay of them selues so much as may be We may now see if beauty be a benefit to such as delight therin when it cannot be in her that is indued therewith because she can neyther feele or see it any way and in trueth I may here speake as Epicurus did of pleasures when one demaunded of him whether pleasure were a benefit or no and he thereto returned this answere that he hath but little wit who when his finger is in the fyre wil aske of other if he feele payne or no whether the fire be hot and Ice cold meaning thereby if a delight be pleasing to a mans own self why should he question whether it be a benefit or no since himselfe both feeles and makes experiment thereof In like manner I say that he who hath a fayre wife knowes well if he haue delight or pleasure for were not beautie expected and desired it would not be so generally sought and purchased which makes mee to coniecture that a man hauing a fayre wife or friend esteemes beautie for a benefit and cheifest pleasure and therefore Plato giues no other definition of loue but that it is a desire of beautie as very amply he deliuereth in his dialogues called Phoedrus For this matter therfore the testemonies of so many
Poets shall suffise mee who expresse in their writings that generally beautie hath beene magnified exalted and honoured as a great gift of God and but that I finde beautie to be enuironned with many perillous discommodities I should consent with them in opinion But I considder that which many great personages haue done before me of whom I could alledge authorities most notable which might serue to satissie the greatest loubters only I wil rehearse the reason that hath moned them to such saying and in declaring the reason none can contradict me but that the proofe is cleare and apparant For if I should auouch but the alegation of Poets it myght the be sayde that they speake according to theirâ— passions and women might refect them as their aduersaries and enemies to their sex whereas if I show the grounded reason themselues may then receiue blame in not giuing credit thereto or els they dare not tearme themselues reasonable when they will giue no place to reason Fyrst then I say that beautie hath this discommoditie it is coueted by euery one it is most hard to be kept and defended being a thing sought after by so many persons as it were continually besieged For as a garden that is replenished with all faire flowers and fruites or a treasurie stored with riches most precious is in dayly danger and needeth especiall guardance euen such and no otherwise is the beautie of women This is the first reason alledged by Poets whereto they further adde that beauty begetteth in women great pride and ouet-weening as Ouid in this verse testefierh Fastus inest pulcris sequiturque superbiâ— formam That is Beautie makes women to bee wonderous proude In beeing then so proud and loftie minded they imagine that their beautie should serue them to some end or purpose and say that beautie had not bene giuen them but both they must and ought to make some vse of it And as we note one loue to beget another so do we likewise behold that a woman often solicited if she be not vertuous and strong in resistance she is in danger to make shipwracke of her beautie by those entisings which her beauty procured Perhappes some will denie that women are subiect to loue any other then their husbandes but then they must confesse withal that they are apt therein to be suspected especially if they be indued with admirable beautie yea many tymes it comes so to passe that such beautie hath bene verie hurtfull to their husbands and extended to the losse of their liues The example of Vrias may serue the husband to Bersaba but if we shall neede any more allegations it is too well knowen how damageable Hellens beautie was to her husband Menelaus to Paris and Deiphoebus who lost their liues and made the earth drunke with effusion of their blood It is likewise as euident that which is written of Abraham who had a fayre wife named Sara and because he went with her into Aegypt he sayd thou art fayre and if it be knowen that I am thy husband I shall be slayne that they may enioy thee it will be best therefore to call me thy brother Afterwarde when Abimelech sawe her Abraham was constrayned to denye he was her husband The historie of Gyges and Candaulus is as notable with infinite others that might be rehearsed All which notwithstanding I will not say as some haue doone Cumque pudicitia rara est concordia forma Beautie with chastitie is sildome found For I can proue them liers by numberlesse examples of very beautifull and vertuous Ladies that haue and yet liue in honor to this day amongst vs and so shall do for euer to their confusion who haue so shamefully slaundred them But for confirmation of my former speeches that womens beauties is dangerous to their husbandes I will not let slip in silence what wise Bias a man so much renowned spake saying Beautie much marked and gazed at is no assurance to the husband for though vertue be conioyned therewith yet is the man in euident danger wherefore the very wisest haue beene of this opinion that such beautie as is most requisite in women is to be indifferently fayre or as we say in Latine Stata forma aut vxoria forma They adde moreouer since beautie is a thing which decayeth and weareth old by time that it is more yrkesome to him who hath seene his wife beautiful to note her now depriued there of and dispoiled of that flower euen as the trees of their leaues in winter In like manner can I assure ye that notwithstanding the declaration of such as are not pursued and followed but by the immodest and shamelesse yet beautie is neuer alone but often tymes accompanied with many good graces and my reason is that we vsually shewe our selues to others as they declare themselues towardes vs and the beautifull beeing imbrased and wel wished by all shewes themselues likewise reciprocally ssweece curteous and affable to all But perhappes you will alledge some faults vnto me as making them selues proude when they heare one praise or reprite them to be fayre Such haue no desert to hold place with honorable dames because the more vertue is extolled the more humble it makes the person endued therewith I wall say as an anncient and great personage councelled young Ladies in his time to veiw themselues diuers times in a glasse to the end quoth he that finding themselues fayre they should endeauour to be as beautifull in their mindes shaming that their bodies which are vile and corruptible should be more goodly then their soules which are deuine and immortall In like case if they descerne themselues to be foule and mishapen they should labour to recompence that difformitie by their good mindes and such goodly graces as best beseemeth them Such ought to be the dayly practise of those which are fayre because it seemes a thing very odious to see a beautifull body not adorned with good graces and vertues which want procureth great greife in many beholders pittying so fayre a creature should be in such sorte blemished where others are quite contrarie that deserue serue lesse loking on Therfore when such shall request fauour at mens handes well may they in scorne and derision be answered that their owne imperfections makes them not regarded and so they continue chaste because none cares for them It is the nature of a woman the more one importunes her the lesse she regardes what she would gladliest haue which makes them to obserue it as a general rule to despise them most that chiefest sue to them for the loue which they beare to them selues hinders all loue els they should bestowe on others then which there can be nothing more contrarie to loue namely this Philaftia selfe loue or vayne opininion of our selues But I mind not here to to alledge those inconueniences because the argument would haue but a bad foundation only I say that if a wife addict her selfe to loue any one it is not
cheareful hart she entertaineth him which makes a man take more pleasure in her he loueth and by whom he is beloued agayne then in any other whatsoeuer be she neuer so beautifull For as saith one and very well too when a man receiues a present from a Lord he regardeth not the gift how faire or rich so euer it be as he doeth the good will and courtesie of the giuer so God acknowledgeth not our presents neither careth for them but our intents and good wils only Therefore we may say that when a man sporteth the pleasure of the body likes him not so well as that of the hart for if pleasure be had against the good will of any it serues not to him as anye contentment Contrarywise although he delighted but his body only yet if he were assured of the others good liking it would suffise being loued againe as himselfe dooth loue Moreouer if it be granted that the body is in such sort espoused to the minde as being one with the other it cannot be but an extreame paine if they delight not one in the other why then it would seeme most hurtfull to them if they should be forced to abstaine froÌ„ a ioy so vehement or abide separation thorowe constraint not daring priuatly or publikly be seen together who so thus offeÌ„deth or seeketh to force nature cannot auoide falling into great danger Why then I must say that strict and intire amitie cannot long continue between a man and woman without the delight of the bodie if amitie be bred of one and selfe same will not able to endure sinister contraries why then such parties shall as hardlie command and vanquish their passions as they receiue good by being in one anothers sight and harme when they may not be so together or as during not to speake but before witnesses This is the reason why loue is said not to continue long betweene a man and woman except it be in such as are tyed by the bands of mariage for betweene others it cannot be either without great danger or without suspition and scandale especially such secrecie and communication as is required in loue which makes of two hearts one and ioyneth them inseperably together As for others because our lawe giues vs a conscience if kindnes be had hardly can it be durable but betwene maried persons because the wise haue made a vertue of necessitie alliaunce is more certaine to wit more lasting hauing made a communion and societie together of all fortunes whatso uer good and bad But concerning loue it is very hard to be demeaned with a woman if she be not his wise or freend in delighting because nature inuites vs to those imbracings and secrecies which follow one another in sequence not to be named among such persons as intend to liue chastely And this I speake because discoursing now of loue I meane not amitie which I reserue for man to man or brother to syster or a sonne to his mother which cannot well name it selfe to be loue neyther the desyre of beauty distinct and seperated from amitie and good will for in trueth the focietie among amourous persons is such as the body is but a meane of vniting the soules and heere vpon diuers I hisitions discoursing haue made a communication of the complexions taken from the braine the heart the lyuer and in breefe from all the animall partes in man the lyfe of an insant being disposed and formed therby which is the cause why men are heere so mooued prouoked wheras other beasts enter as by a kinde or violence And hence proceedeth the passions of the amourous expressed so liuely by Poets both Greeke Latin Italian and others beside auncient and moderne especially when they haue set downe nothing but hane evther felt or experimented the same sufficientlye in themsciues so that it is very needfull if a man will make resistance to vse such extremities as we read the most holye persons did who led their liues in the solitarie deserts and heere I might alledge what they haue written but that it is sussicientlye knowne already But all this notwithstanding I set it not downe as a generall rule that a man cannot loue a woman but in this manner and for the delight before rehearsed for well might I be ashamed thereof besyde I should doo iniurye to infinite honest and chaste looues But I sav that keeping the one and other from following has nature therein consists the paine and the merit since as I lately spake the most holye persons being in the wildernes liuing on fauage rootes punisinng their bodies with hard garments drinking water and sleeping little but lying on sharpe stones in breese not admitting any remedie yet haue they in such serte beene assaulted as they in theyr writings haue been constrained to expresse it Now concerning our selues who are trained and brought vp in softe and delicate manner when we haue perticuler and priuate conference with her whome we best looue being fayre and gracious and requiting vs with loue if we could then abstaine the glory would be found the greater by how much the payne and resistance was difficult checfely when in regarde of the affection we beare our freend we feare to vrge any thing might be vnhonorable And heerein may the power of looue be discerned which making the louer forget his pleasure defrauds his desire to content her in al he may whom he so dearly affecteth Of such loyal freends are many to be found whose louers haue had such authoritie ouer them as being vertuous by perswasiue reason they let passe the pleasure for the great daunger which followes and ensues thereby His guide herein as in all thinges else is that the action of a man is 〈◊〉 his election and the election betweene two goods according as it is sayde a man for his pleasure leaues the following of honor which is but the minde of a cowardly souldier or Sâ—aile like house keeper timorous to follow the renouned exercise of warre where contrariwise the braue Souldier beeing iealous of his honor beguiles him selfe of his ease and the pleasure he takes in his house with his wife making the hard field his bed mountes on the rampartes shuts himselfe into a towne where he suffers extremitie of famine makes his body a wall agaynst the cannons batterie and doth all this for the loue of his honor In like sort can I say that he which truly loueth will abstayne from his owne desire be it but to satisfie the chast and modest inclination of his beloued As she likewise that lookes for answerable looue to her owne will endeuer by al meanes she can deuise that the grace of her mouth namely her breath and speech may besweet pleasing and agreeable to her louer But as for such as are vnited by the bonds of marriage they remem bring the inducements of their former loues how they laboured by al courses to congratulat one another in al chast and cordiall kindnes
so much the more because we touch the person whom we kisse the pleasure is great then is the benefit refered not to the bodie only but to the minde witnesse those kisses which men in times past gaue to one another the father to the soune and the mother also apsayne demonstration of courtesie and kindnesse I will unsist no other pointes then are expressed but leaue them as reserued to experience perience for many thinges are therby done honestly which are not to be named and many things like wise might be named which were better to be kept in secret as cicero said to the seuere and stoicall iudges and because it dependeth vpon the sence Now to know what is the cause of loue as also by what bayts and allurementes he ouertaketh himselfe this may not wel be discoursed ingeneral neither am I of their opinion that say a conformitie and resemblance procureth loue betweene vs for we haue scene the difformed loue the fayre the ignorant the wise with admiration the infirme and weake magnifiyng hardy and valiaunt men Briefly what so is faire what so is vertuous generally in all at all tymes and in all places is praised esteemed that which is vice is by the vicius thēselues reproued It were an absurd thing then to say that loue ensueth by resemblance and as Aristotle sayth reciting the authority of Euripides the earth desireth rayne when it is drye the sicke the Phisition True is it that it is another manner of matter the amitie which reconciles it selfe betweene persons of selfe same complexion and inclynation then in other cases and the reason is euident namely as he that loues an other for his vertue is likewise in selfe same manner beloued of him againe if he be vertuous He that loues a woman for her beautie is loued agayne reciprocally by her because he hath the like perfection and then is it tearmd amitie between persons when loue is mutual and in equality not when an hard fauoured or bad complexyoned man loueth a fayre and gracious Gentlewomen for there may be loue in him but none in her euen so loue not being actiue and passiue in these two kindes is not amitie To giue then the reason of loue it behoueth to consider the complection humour and affection of eyther partie for I am of this mind that no other but mutual loue can be cōtracted betweene beautifull persons but then we must consider that beauty in a woman is gentlenesle sweetenesse affabilitie and a pleasing disposition beautie in a man is also dignitie valour wit and dexteritie in vertue thus the beautie of eyther is diuersly appertayning to the sex So some do say that if gentlenesse and beauty in a woman pleaseth a man valour vertue and wisdome in a man liketh a woman which conduceth to the permutation and most auncient contract among men In like manner to make a generall rule of affectiō in men or women it is imposible because so many men so many seueral sences and complexions One loues a blacke eye another a gray in briefe one sayth and that most truely Loue maketh more store of faire women found out then their beautie confirmes them to be amiable or woorth desiring onely through our owne pursuing of vulgare actions which each one tearmes his best apparant good in regard he followes and adicts himselfe therto although very diuers and vnlikely This makes such abundance of frowarde natures and is the fountayne of all teares sighes complantes and greeuances among them that loue forcing them to such extremitie and violence on them selues that not teares alone but blood is sluiced foorth euen in the middest of their desperate siginngs and complaintes 〈◊〉 which ensueth because they that loue are not so pleasing in their louers eves as they appeare to them neyther find they like enterchange of will but quite contrary I or while they agree together delight is equally imbraced as if a hard fauoured man affect a fayre woman and recompence his want by comly demeanour valour and wisdome here hence ensueth the onely nourishment of loue when to delight and please a mans choise he becommeth gentle debonaire and vertuous as Plato sayth in his Conuiuium and Boccace likewise witnesseth deciaring the historie of rustical Cynon a clowne and badly nurtured by nature yet to compasse the fauour of a Lady which he loued in short while he became so ciuill gentle conformable valiant and renowned as no one could equall him in all graces and good partes beseeming a Gentleman And though loue serud vs for nothing els but to encourage and spurre vs onward to vertue yet were it worthy al praise and comendatiö And to approue that it doth so how many histories haue we which teach vs that loue hath beene the cause of vertue and gentlenes in such persons as haue don reuerence therto I referre my selfe to the wise and cūning decei of the Tuscanes who declared a singuler kindnesse to their husbands in making hazard of their liues for them For they beeing taken and committed to prison by them of Sparta where they were kept very strictly to trie if they could conuince them by certaine and vndoubted proofes in those matters wherof they stood accised they cōpassed the meanes to visite their husbands in prison preuayling so effectually with their keepers that they admitted them entrance only to and salute their husbands When they were within the prison they coū celled them to put off of their owne garments and being clad in theirs they should issue forth mour ning and hyding their eyes in signe of grief according as they hadentred to them which beeing done the women remained there shut vp in their sted entēding to suffer what soeuer was mean against their husbands whome the keepers let scape no otherwise imagining but that they were the women See now how on the one side ardent affection found sufficient help in need but for the other parte let vs not passe in silence the loyaltie of these men in acknowledging the good and kindnesse thus receiued by their wiues For beeing thus got out of prison they went presently and engirt the mount of Tangeta raysing the inhabitants neighbouring people to take Armes entring into an open rebellion Which they of Sparta fearing sent a herald to them by whom they grew to such a conclusion that their wiues were restored to them with monye and their goods beside as also diuers other aduantages This example may serue for a mirrour of cordiall and vehement loue in women toward their husbands and the like in men toward their wiues Let no man then discourage himselfe how much foeuer he be disgraced by nature or for tune for there is no hart so hard but may be moued in time to pittie and may by seruice merit very much if no other meanes were left him of desert And truely if the hart contayne any sparke of vertue it will neuer be ingratfull or lacke acknowledgement of good will and kindnesse
receyued but will recompence if at least with fauour and affabilitie It is true that to come to the last poynt of delight it is not onely very hard but likewise impossible to gayne any thing but by such graces as doe subdue the affections of women albeit some hold opinion that obstinate pursuit and continuall batterie is such as there is no Cittie how strong soeuer but will submit therto at last ye the gayne so gotten equals not the harme which then hath no helpe And therefore I would adurse such as are in this case to consider fust their owne qualities then of their mist resses the tyme place which are necessarie circumstances For when a man shall happen to loue a lady if she exceede him in noblenesse of house he should thinke with himselfe that it is as great folly in him to imagine he can preuaile â—s in him who would catch at the Moone with his teeth If his mistresse be such as taking aduise by his glasse he shall thereby be councelled not to pretend any thing to her then he wil consider likewise whether there be such matters in him selfe as may recompence the graces he beholds in her not ouerweening himselfe in conceite for he shall suffer what he deserues and reape as he is regarded A man ought likewise to be so discreet as to vse tyme apt and meete for his purpose and as the place shall agree with his mistresse aboue all to haue a speciall regarde of her complexion and humour that he may serue according to her appetites otherwise he shal be like them that but lose their labour and become ridiculous in aspiring hygher then doth beseeme them If their be any so infortunate that they cannot compasse what they would whereby to reach the heyght of their intentes let me sende them to Ouids lesson in his remedy for loue shunning the place and such occasions minding other affayres or as one sayth driuing out one nayle with another and such other remedies as are there to be found For there is not loue so forcible but time will weare it out by reason at first it was engendred by Idlenesse then may a man follow other important occasions which more dooth concerne his owne good and honour But contrarywyse if hee see that time may soften her rigour let him beare him selfe so wisely in all his behauiour that he receiue no crosse through his owne indiscretion Thus much I deeme sufficient to be sayde of Loue. Of the meanes to compasse fauour and acceptaunce The third discourse THe onely thing which makes mee beleeue that such as meddle with the affayres of loue do fayle in many matters is because the more part are often euill intreated then publishing abroad the disdayne refusall and hard vsage sustayned by their mistresses doth but diuulgate their owne defects and the small or no desert remayning in them For if they were such as might merit entertaynement they would not be in such extremities as dayly they are to be seene A disease is apparant but the cause thereof being not vnderstoode makes the remedie to seeme impossible therefore let vs immitate the discreet Phisition who first dilligently enquiring of the hurtfull humour the sourse of the ill his progresse and the qualitie of the person then applyeth what is most needfull and takes away by the contrarie the cause of the annoyance To know that then which makes a man so repulsed and giues him likewise acceptaunce being to some the greatest payne to other the best pleasure in this world may seeme a matter very hard to be vnderstood for a man may not discourse a thing ingenerall which is knowne but in perticular and is likewise as diuers as the circumstances are contrarie euen as one receipt may not be giuen to all kindes of Feuers because they are not of one salfe same condition Gladly would I learne of Ladies how a man ought to carrie himselfe in loue by what meanes he might insinuate into their good graces how he may be most welcome to them and briefely which way he may soonest please them according as Horace speaketh of one who was to entertayne diuers persons neare him one for one taste another for another and therefore he should conforme himselfe to each ones appetite Neuerthelesse because that which is good honest of it self seemeth no other to all in all places and at all times seeing that which is coÌ„formable to al doth naturally teach vs what is vice what is vertue euen as may be said by right of nature therefore euery one may purchase to himself those things which best may make him beloued True it is that many thinges do change of themselues because the rellish of men are diuers and in regard that which is good at one tyme is reproued and condemned at another herein then let vs say with the wisest there is a right way in nature which neuer changeth for reason is euermore reason and trueth trueth Ther is another way that is tearmed possitiue which concerneth onely ceremonies meanes and enstructions to maynetayne this first way of nature but that varieth chaungeth of it selfe according to the occurrences and occasions as dooth the fashion of garements the defence of armes and such like matters So may we say that vertue is immoueable and euermore such as it hath beene but the outward thing as speach the countenaunce grace close conceites and other perticuler matters must be vnsterstoode according to the persons tyme and place which are the circumstances whereby each man ought to iudge of his affaires least he fal into such offence as the ill aduised often do VVhy then we will deliuer what all men ingenerall should haue and what in perticuler each man ought doe for to be in fauour with people ingenerall he must haue that which is generally esteemed and the regard which a man makes of one person onely begetteth loue the one necessarily preceeding and then loue following which proues it selfe by the disinition of beauty being indeed the desire of beauty Now this beautie is not onely taken for that of the face but it consisteth likewise of the minde in women beautie appeareth in a well adorned countenaunce a comely sweete grace pleasing language breefely it hath such amorous gesture and behauiour as steales a mans hart that staÌ„ds to note it The beauty of a man is knowledge hardines a valiant hart wise speech manly behauiour and not effeminate This beautie then is but a gift of nature both in the one and the other and therefore it lyes not in vs to be beautiful which makes the more vnskilfulnes in giuing any precept except prohibition of belying those imperfections which we haue with practise to supply what is best beseeming vs as in some to speake grauely others more stearnely needes no great wit to him who hath studied for it wheras when one finds himselfe disfauoured by beauty he cannot brag or boast but stand like one disconteÌ„ded And this a thing which iudgeth