to each others soul and to help in the way of salvation is that which becomes Christians and not at all shortens but rather increases and perfects kindness and good nature And this is indeed marrying in the Lord as 1 Cor. 7.39 Therefore receive one another to the glory of God as Christ received us Rom. 15.7 And look on that providence that brings you together as order'd by the Lord. A prudent wife is from the Lord saith Solomon Prov. 19.14 And we may add a prudent husband A religious and good husband or wife is from the Lord his provision or gift of his providing whereas houses and riches lands and inheritances Joyntures and Portions are the gifts of Fathers provisions of men and as such they may decay or be lost but the gifts of the Lord will abide for good and such a gift by Gods grace you may be to each other Resolve then and endeavour at first to put forward and encourage one another to love and good works as such as are come together and appointed by Gods good providence in a particular manner to be helps to build up one another in your most holy faith and to keep one another in the love of God that you may together comfortably expect the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life Jude 20 21. If this be the duty of all Christian friends much more then is it the duty of such as are joined so near in the Covenant of the Lord a Covenant of love and unity so near an union that in the opinion of St. Paul it resembles and may be compared to that love between Christ and his Church as in that similitude before offered to consideration Eph. 5.25 Adv. 2. Secondly I advise That having resolved which I hope you will do put those good resolutions in practice Do not think that it is enough to approve and purpose but set about the work in earnest and that immediately setting your selves at first to live together in Gods way the way of Religion that you may always so continue And let your daily conversation be in the Lord abiding with him according to the rule of the Gospel perswading each other always to do that which is of good report and as becomes the servants of God These things are general but the practice consists in particulars and therefore to those particulars I proceed Adv. 3. In the third place I advise you to pray together daily speak unto God call upon God for his favour and blessings Begin this course as soon as you come together Rising in the morning remember each other of prayers and so with united hearts direct your prayer unto God Psal 5.3 So likewise every evening before you go to bed the seasons God people used Psal 55.16 17. This is the practice of all that are Godly Psal 32.6 so often commanded and commended in the Scripture that I think there needs no more to perswade you that it is your duty Those words of our Saviour Mat. 26.41 watch and pray or those of St. Paul pray without ceasing 1 Thes 5.17 are command enough to all that believe the Scripture to be the word of God These general precepts contain your duty in particular for what God commands all he commands every one and those words of St. Peter 1 Pet. 3.7 that your prayers be not hindred suppose praying to be both the duty and practice of married people And if there had been no command to make prayer your duty yet reason will advise you to it as your interest since God is pleased to give you leave I therefore advise you to pray as one of the best things you can do for one another whether for soul or body Because all that good you or your friends wish or desire for you is from God his gift his blessing without which all your own labour is in vain as is plain from the whole 127th Psalm Except the Lord build the house their labour is but lost that build it It in vain to rise up early to sit up late and to eat the bread of carefulness Whatsoever business you go about whatsoever hopes of comfort in each other you may propose whatsoever designs you may have of thriving in the world together without Gods blessing all will be in vain In vain are all those seeming wishes of Joy from your friends unless the Lord say Amen If you begin not thus and at first ask Gods blessing by prayer how can you expect it Nay you hinder your selves of that good your friends desire for you and you seem to desire for your selves until you seek it at the hand of God by prayer But if you will set your selves at first to seek Gods blessing by praying together there are promises in the Scripture sufficient to encourage you to hope such as these Those that seek me early shall find me Prov. 8.17 Ask and it shall be given you Mat. 7.7 If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven Mat. 18.19 What should you learn then from these Scriptures but that you agree betimes to pray together and with united hearts to go to God and ask in hope O that I could perswade you to receive this advice and heartily engage you to call upon God that the Lord may be with you and bestow his blessings upon you and yours What can hinder you from this great duty and priviledge I know nothing that can be said against this advice but by way of excuse some will talk of their weakness and not being able But this is for the most part but a trifling pretence which Satan teaches the unwilling in heart to plead For I am fully perswaded that God requires nothing of his creatures but what he knows they are able to perform with his grace in using the means he has afforded and so it will appear in this particular if you consider the helps you have and the nature of the duty as reason and conscience must judg And first in respect of helps If you have not been accustomed to this but are strangers to God in that great and comfortable duty of Prayer you may ask how shall we call upon God that are ignorant and cannot make prayers Tho such thoughts savour of great ignorance yet I will answer in your own way That is you may make use of some form of prayer in some good books of which sort there are many printed among us If you have not a better nor fitter for your condition you may use such as I have added at the end of this book If you say you cannot read neither of you to help the other your case is to be pitied and then I advise you to try to learn I have known several of a willing mind who have learnt to read when grown in years The advantage is great to be able to see at any time the will of
or woman whether they prevail or not If you prevail with an ungodly husband or wife to turn from the errour of their ways to do that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord you shall save a Soul from death Jam. 5.20 And cause joy in heaven which is at the conversion of a sinner Luc. 15.10 A comfort in it self Besides the benefit your self enjoy in the holy conversation of one renewed of whose renewing you your self have been the happy instrument thro' Gods Grace in the Lord Jesus But tho' you prevail not indeed that consideration is sad where there is love to a Soul to have spent much labour in vain Yet there is comfor in this that it is not in vain in the Lord. This was the comfort of the great Prophet Isaiah complaining for want of success and may be yours surely your Judgment is with the Lord and your work and reward with God Is 48.4 If the filthy will be filthy still and the ungodly will be ungodly still their blood shall be upon their own head and you that endeavour to perswade with sincerity have delivered your own Soul and shall ever beaâ— in your bosom that comfortable testimony of a good conscience and peace from God that passeth understanding shall keep and comfort your hearts and minds thro' Christ Jesus Pâ—il 4.7 And he that shall come will come quickly and his reward is with him to give to every one according as their work shall be Even so come Lord Jesus The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen An ADVERTISEMENT To such as have been long married 'T IS possible these papers may come to the hands of such as have been long married or at least so long as to be past the title of new-married people and may therefore think that that this does not concern them But I desire such to consider that it concerns them much every way For either they are such as have lived according to Gods holy way or not 1. If they have indeed lived together in that holy love which these papers perswade to then they speak peace to them from God And give them the joy and comfort of all the blessings proposed as motives and advantages And I doubt not but that they have experience of the comforts of an holy heavenly life and must testifie the truth of what is here advanced And doubtless they do find encouragement enough to go on in that way to the end 2. But if they have not so lived together then they find themselves spoken to in every advice and motive especially in the fourth and fifth Section Every line calls more loudly to such in the words of the Apostle Eph 5.15 Awake thou that sleepest and Christ shall give thee light Have you so long neglected so great a blessing and continued under the curse and tempted the Almighty to give you up to hardness of heart O see the goodness and patience and long suffering of God! Give judgment your selves between God and your Souls Have you not neglected the best way too long And shall not his patience lead you to repentance shall not the time past suffice to have lived without God should not the love of Christ constrain you to this holy love of each others Souls Let it do so then now at the last And set about what is here advised to as new married people should and reap at last the too much neglected blessings 'T is never too late to begin to do well Nay you should labour the more earnestly considering how you have blockt up your own way by your sinful neglect Repent therefore and bring forth fruits meet for repentance Prayers for Gods blessing assisting grace to the married couple These first in order taken out of the publick Office and fitted for private use When you are come home on the Wedding-day or at Evening and so for some dayes after read first those Scriptures declaring the mutual duties of man and wife or else some other portion of Scripture with attention And then kneeling down together endeavour to lift up your hearts to the Lord and say O Eternal God creator and preserver of all mankind giver of all Spiritual Grace the author of everlasting life send thy blessing upon us thy servants who have this day consented together in holy marriage and have engaged our word in truth to each other to live together as man and wife according to thy holy word and have received a publick blessing in thy name Bless us O Lord we beseech thee in secret and grant that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together so we may surely perform and keep the Vow and Covenant betwixt us made and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together and live according to thy Law thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen God the Father God the Son and God the holy Ghost bless preserve and keep us O Lord mercifully with thy grace look upon us and so fill us with all Spiritual benediction and grace that we may so live together in this life that in the world to come we may obtaine life everlasting Amen O God of Abraham God of Isaac God of Jocob bless us thy Servants and sow the seeds of eternal life in our hearts Help us to attend diligently on thy holy word so that we may profit and learn thereby and be doers thereof Look O Lord mercifully upon us from heaven and bless us And as thou didest send thy blessing upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon us thy Servants that we obeying thy will and always being in safety under thy protection may both abide in thy love and in holy Christian love to each other to our lives end thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O God who by thy mighty power hast made all things of nothing who also after other things set in order didst appoint that out of man created after thine own image and similitude woman should take her beginning and knitting them together didst teach that it should never be lawful to put asunder those whom thou by Matrimony hadst made one O God who hast consecrated the state of Matrimony to such an excellent mystery that in it is signified and represented the Spiritual marriage betwixt Christ and his Church look mercifully upon us thy Servants whom thou hast brought to joyn together in the marriage covenant That I may love this my wife according to thy word as Christ doth love his Spouse the Church loving and cherishing her as my own flesh And also that this woman whom thou hast given to be my wife may be loving and amiable faithful and constantly obedient in all Christian love and in all quietness and peace be a follower of holy and godly Matrons O Lord bless us both and grant us to inherit thine everlasting Kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O Almighty God who at the beginning didst create our first parents
time to begin the change When I ask young married people if they desire and intend to live together in Godly love and the fear of God they usually answer They hope so to do And surely it would be impudent folly and sin to dare to say otherwise But I think it is plain in too many that there is not really such an heart and hearty desire in them but that they regard little more than brutish satisfaction and carnal enjoyments Nay some behave themselves to each other as if they married only to be in a capacity to torment and vex one another to do the Devils work to hinder each others comforts both in soul and body I desire you would now put that forementioned question to your selves Do you desire and intend and will you endeavour to live together in Godly love and in the fear of God so as to be meet helps for each others good both in soul and body What answer can you think reasonable to that question Ay or No If you answer Ay and think fit that such answer should be taken should be taken for true and no lye that answer then gives judgment of your duty what you ought to do and if not brutish and sensless must engage you so to do The chief design of this Paper is to perswade and direct to begin the married life in the due fear of God so that you may continue in the same We call marriage a beginning of the world and we may make it if we use it aright the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven The beginnings of Grace continued in will surely end in Glory Sect. I. Some Questions to Conscience in order to convince the Judgment and prepare the mind to receive the following Advices THat your Judgment may be setled aright to approve the best things and to chuse the most excellent way I shall offer several things to your consideration by way of Question and let Conscience give the answer 1. First I earnestly intreat you in the fear of God and as in his presenco to think seriously and ask conscience Whether an holy and heavenly love and life be not best to spend your days together in As having God to dwell with you to have a sense of his good providence over you and that your prayer may not be hinder'd but that you may ever have a grounded hope of his everlasting love 2. Whether Marriage thus ordered may not be esteemed as the greatest earthly comfort or on the other hand Whether an ill managed Wedlock is not the greatest cross of humane life 3. Whether God by his providence has not put it into the hands and power of married people to make themselves happy or miserable as to this world at least and in great measure also their souls in the world to come 4. Whether you come together as Christians or as Heathens and without a holy endeavour to live in godly love what do you more than Heathens 5. Whether there be any love as Christians if it be not with respect to the soul and whether that can be meet help for man or woman that does not help the soul 6. Whether Husband or Wise could take it well to hear the other say I love thy face and thy fortune thy beauty and estate thy body and flesh but for thy soul I care not if it be damn'd and go to the Devil Whether such words would be taken as charming expressions and signs of love 7. Whether an ungodly life and unholy practice be not as much as to say they care not for the souls of one another when they labour not to live together religiously and so to keep each others souls to God 8. What answer canst thou give to thy own conscience at death if thou hast not endeavoured to live a religious life whether married or single 9. Whether that mystical union between Christ and his Church his love in giving himself for it as Eph. 5.25 And also that relation between God and his people whom he has married unto himself Jer. 3.14 both which being represented in that mutual union in the married state do not intimate much of argument for true and spiritual love and to perswade you to labour to cleanse each others souls and to keep each other without spot and blameless as for the coming of the Lord Read these questions over again and ask one the other the Questions and perswade and engage one another to consider seriously of these things And if on serious consideration these questions being truly answered according to conscience in truth and soberness do so far convince your judgment and perswade as I hope they will that your hearts must at least secretly confess and say surely godly love and a godly life is best to love for the souls good is only true love Then confess and own it to one another and promise seriously so to live together as to help one anothers souls and to endeavour each others Salvations and then proceed to read the Advices following Sect. II. Containing Advices to new-marriea People with Arguments to perswade and Helps to perform them THe Advices I have to offer to begin the married state should be few lest the beginning be past before they be read Yet if the beginning be past they cannot be useless because they are always of use in the married state But in particular to new-married people especially if young they are such advices whereby they may lay a good foundation and build thereon solid comforts family comforts lasting Christian comforts Such as being continued and daily followed may render every day a day of comfort and good things and if good in the beginning cannot but be so in continuance and spiritual good being followed always increases to more abundance Adv. 1. First therefore I advise you to begin the married life in the fear of the Lord with holy resolutions so to live together I hope the former Questions have almost at least convinced you that it is your duty so to do Let therefore good resolutions follow your convictions Resolve that your first living together shall be as Christians indeed And let not Satan tempt you to delay lest you quite forget Resolve and endeavour that your first love may be as love in the Lord. To help and encourage you thus to resolve in the beginning remember these three things 1. Remember that the love of the flesh or as led by the flesh is not of God as in 1 Joh. 2.16 Appetite and desires of the flesh bring beasts together 2. Remember that kindness and good nature company and to be helpful to one another in outward things as of this life are what become men and women as being rational creatures and that these things may be found and doubtless are found amongst Heathens such as know not God in Christ Jesus 3. Remember that love in the Lord from a purified heart in earnest fervency and sincerity as 1 Pet. 1.22 with desire to do good
love And what indeed can professed Christians offer better then true Christian love to souls in the way of God and sincere Religion The best is expected and this being offered at first will be accepted and esteemed as indeed it is the best we can offer So then the way is prepared and this makes it easy 'T is easy to do that which is generally expected you should do And indeed you may well wonder at your selves if Satan should so deceive you that you should fall short of your own Expectations 4. The fourth advantage that young married people have to set about Religious duty 's both secretly and in their families at their first coming together is that then those hindrances of Children and a great deal of worldly business is not justly to be pleaded in excuse which afterwards may tho' there is no reason that these or any thing else should keep from God in Christ in whom and on whom we live Nothing can excuse you from the care of your souls without that no good can come nor profit be expected tho' you should gain the whole world Yet the corruption of nature and the policy of Satan being joyned will make such arguments appear reasonable and experience shews us that such vaine pleas are too prevailing and in time raise such difficulties as are hardly to be removed but may with ease be prevented at first when they cannot be pretended Let these advantages then perswade you to try what you can do at first to engage each other to promise to be faithful to God and one to the other in living together religiously praying and reading together helping one anothers Souls watching to prevent sin in each other and in resolving to rule your family as the Lords Servants Consider what comfort you may have in perswading and engaging one another to these things when you know not but hereby you may be the means of saving each the other And if either of you can prevail for a promise which I can scarce doubt if sincerely desired at first then let each write their name or make some mark at this place for a remembrance of the promise And look on it sometimes to quicken to continuance in mutual duty and to comfort you in that you have begun to look in earnest towards the Lord. And in case of coldness and neglect of Duty that one may shew it to the other as a gentle and silent admonition a token whereby to remember the early holy promises of Your first Love It may be a means to keep you from back-sliding and make you ashamed to fall off from so good an engagement and promise so as having begun in the Spirit to end in the flesh But before I conclude this Section I will set before you some of those benefits you may obtain by early beginning in this holy way I hope I have made it manifest to be easy enough to a willing mind And I also hope that what follows of the benefits which will come thereby will yet give further encouragement and encline your hearts to be willing to enter on so comfortable and hopeful a practice 1. There is the benefit of credit and reputation in the world Tho' Religion be generally too much slighted yet we may observe that most men will commend those that on marriage break off from their evil ways and settle themselves to mind and do that which is good 2. Next there is the benefit of hopefull proceeding A good beginning generally has got the reputation in the world as giving the most probable hope of a good ending A good foundation gives the promise of a lasting building And in any thing to have begun well is esteemed more then half the work But 't is not only hopefull in the judgment of men but God in his word both commands and commends early beginnings So that this is Gods way and in his way you may justly expect his blessing and that beginning betimes you shall continue in the good way Train up a Child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Prov. 22.6 That is such do not usually miscarry tho' sometimes they may So also begin the married state in the fear of God and perswade and engage one another at first to set your selves in the good and the right way and then you will not easily depart from it afterward but more easily continue living in the Love of God and each other when you are old 3. A third benefit you will have because early beginnings in good prevent those ill habits and customs in evil which are so hard to be changed and difficult to be broken And in this case a resolved beginning in a Religious way will prevent those corrupt inclinations to slight God and his way and the living as beasts without God in the world and prevent that hardening of heart against the word preached and all that danger of delaying sloth which usually grows by continuance 4. A fourth benefit is that the beginning in a Religious way to live together and going on constantly tho' weakly will make the practice easy and natural and custome comes up to a second nature This takes off all that indisposition and reluctancy which must sometime or other be removed before it will be well with you and the sooner the better this will make the practice of holy living not only easy but pleasant as skill and knowledg increases Therefore the advice is good tho' of an heathen chuse the best way and custom will make it easy and delightful And you will look for reading and prayer as you do for your meat or sleep And what seem'd difficult at first by use and practice will become easy pleasant and necessary 5. The fifth benefit is this the beginning at first to exercise a Godly love to endeavour to bring each other to the knowledg and love of God and Christ and the holy Spirit by a serious practice of Religion will best settle true and lasting affection toward each other for that love which is on the Spiritual account and for the Souls good is like to be lasting We are apt to judg of each other by our first most intimate and familiar converse what appears before may be the effect of Caution but the intimate familiarity of marriage makes discoveries without reserve and when you find in each other when most retired a sober conversation tending to piety vertue and true Religion in the life and power of Godliness and consider that the end of such a conversation is Christ and lasting love The same yesterday to day and for ever There are peculiar charms and a winning sweetness in such a discovery which will cause you to value each other the more when one or both may say with a well grounded confidence God has given me one of his children to be my yoke-fellow 6. Lastly to all there may be added the Spiritual benefit or advantage of the
divine help Which never fails such a course of life Those that seek me early shall find me Prov. 8.17 And the sooner this is obtained the better it will be for you for in this is union to Christ and thro' him to God and if you abide in this Spiritual love to one another you abide also in the love of God and are under the comforts of his promises of blessing so tho' there may be troubles losses disquiets as to outward things yet herein is the hope and assurance of being within the everlasting Covenant of God ordered in all things and sure There are also promises of outward prosperity to encourage to this Godliness has the promise of the life that now is as well as of that which is to come 1 Tim. 4.8 The Tabernacle of the upright shall flourish Prov. 14.11 By acquaintance with God peace and good are obtained Job 22.21 He gives all things needful and makes not his gifts sorrowful His blessing maketh rich and he adds no sorrow with it Prov. 10.22 Entertain him and he will preserve you Remember him and think upon his name and your name shall be written in his book of remembrance Mal. 3.16 But those that will not entertain God but say to him depart from us and what can the Almighty do for us Job 22.17 It is vaine to serve God and what profit is there that we have kept his ordinances Mal. 3.14 To what purpose is it to pray or read or look to keeping of the Sabbath to hinder us in our business and take up our spare time that we shall have none for pleasure and recreation they are well that have time for these things they may do them thus they call the proud happy Such triflers may if they please at their peril enjoy the delights of the flesh and the hony moone of carnal earthly pleasures may slourish for a time chearing their hearts in their youth and walking in the sight of their own eyes But all that time they are laying up a curse which shall one time or other spoile all their worldly delights their house shall spew them out and it self shall be overthrown with the curse Prov. 14.11 Which at last shall bring them to the King of Terrours who shall deliver them over to the just Judgment of the Almighty Then shall they know that there is a difference between the righteous and the wicked between him that serveth God and him that serveth him not Mal. 3.18 More benefits and Spiritual advantages might be shewed and indeed these Spiritual arguments are of greatest weight but those that are not sensible of the force of these will not be able to discern those of a finer and more Spiritual nature Therefore I will say no more on this Section only this Now is the time most fitting and so it offers it self as every way favoured with circumstances of advantage and gives hope of continuance and prosperous success if as soon as you come together these may be some of the first as they are really the best expressions of true love But if these advices are slighted now and the time slipt and put off Felix like till a more convenient opportunity 't is greatly to be feared that you will never find it And so it will appear in the following Section Sect. IV. Shewing the disadvantages that new-married people put themselves under by putting off and delaying to enter on a course of Religious living together at first THE entertaining of excuses in your family is a sign of an unwilling mind and if excuses prevail to put off longer you will find them real hindrances tho' the heart is convinced of the usefulness of such a course For if you only approve of it as fit and convenient but own it not as necessary your family will suppose you are not yet settled and therefore not prepared enough and you will think that hereafter you will set about it when all as you think hindrances are removed 'T is therefore fit to bring these excuses under the censure of Judgment and conscience and then I am perswaded you will find delaying the greatest hindrance and in setting about the work the Lord will so help that all those fancied hindrances will appear little or nothing But if you suffer your selves to delay and pretend to gain fitter time you will find that to be no advantage but the means of finding more arguments still to put off further till at last it come to a setled course of neglect and then will you slight all thoughts and purposes of piety altogether Those that will not suffer themselves to be made clean as soon as they know of their being dirty nor use the means to heal a wound as soon as they are sensible of their smart and danger they allow filth to harden and corruption to spread further and themselves become less able to suffer a cleansing or searching cure than they were when they first excused and neglected That therefore you may more plainly see the disadvantage of delaying by multiplying arguments for excuses and hindrance I shall shew this in particular 1. While you delay excusing your selves by hindrances consider that what you think to be hindrance at first may continue to be so alwaies as suppose on the new married State the hindrances are visiting or being visited new acquaintance among new kindred it will be the same on any change of dwelling New neighbours and new acquaintance so that this may be always And if you allow so much time necessary to be taken up in pretended civility and think you are thereupon excused and that therefore there is no time needful for real religion but because you allow so much time for complement with the world you have no time to be in earnest with God the very same excuses or those very like them will be hindrances as long as you live For other excuses will succeed on as good and it may be on better reasons As particularly you will think so much time has been spent in these visits that now all is little enough to recover your worldly business that you are cast behind in and when that is recovered then you will set about a religious life but before that comes something else uses to intervene to such excusers and they seldom come to the end of the line so as to have no new excuse But as delay breeds this disadvantage so pray consider 't is only the token of an unwilling mind and you are utterly without true excuse both to God and your own consciences for these visitants who give the first seeming ground of excuse do not use to accompany you to your chamber and observe your bed So that in the greatest of your straits if you have a willing mind you may begin to pray together and the bed side is no unfit altar for such a morning and evening Sacrifice 2. The delay at the beginning may be still continued by sickness in breeding and the
Christian purity Keep us henceforth in holy Spiritual love that we defile not the honourable marriage-bed by desires too sensual but that we may be instruments of each others chastity and purity both in Soul and Body Take from us all dullness of mind and backwardness to Religious duties and both teach and enable us so to order our worldly affairs that our minds and hearts may be alwayes free for thy service and worship Give us we beseech thee the Spirit of wisdom and of a sound mind that with all gravity and soberness we may govern and rule our selves and families in thy faith and fear and love as becomes those that are followers of the holy and blessed Jesus as taught by thy holy word Be pleased to make us both instruments of good to others especially to our kindred and neighbours to the comfort and releef of those that are in want to the instruction of the ignorant to the reproving and reforming the ungodly and to the good of all We pray thee also to make us diligent in our calling not â—lothful in business but as serving the Lord. And so bless our labours and honest endeavours in worldly things that we may have a competency for our selves and ours and to give to those that want And further O heavenly Father we humbly intreat thee to give us both thy Grace that with pure hearts we may fervently love one another and provoke one another to love and good works and watch over each other for the Souls good And deal faithfully with each other not suffering one one another in carlesness of our Souls or in any sin without due serious seasonable and compassionate warning in thy fear And good Lord give each of us such an heart that we may be willing to be warned of our sin and danger and desirous to be reformed And good Lord help us so to live together as abiding in Christ Jesus that which ever of us thou shalt please to call out of this world first may leave the comfort of a well grounded hope to the surviver that both at last shall meet in purer and undefiled love and joy in the inheritance of the promises together with the Spirits made perfect thro' the blood of the holy Jesus in thy heavenly eternal Kingdom For the sake and thro' the mediation of Jesus Christ our only Saviour and Redeemer Amen A prayer to be used in secret by the married man or woman in respect of each other O Most merciful Father and eternal God who hast appointed and sanctified the state of marriage by thy Command and word and by thy good providence hast now joyned me with a partner and companion for the married life Guide me I beseech thee by thy good Spirit that I may do my duty in this state of life to which it hath pleased thee to call me That I may not make the liberty thou givest me an occasion to the flesh nor thro' weakness turn thy permissions to sensuality Pardon I beseech thee all my infirmities and failings in that matter and help me that in all circumstances I may keep a conscience void of offence both towards thee my God and towards men That I may sincerely perform my duty towards thee and with a pure heart be fervently affectionate to my dear yoke-fellow That I may be a good guide and example to my family and in all quietness and sobriety patience and prudence a follower of those who have served thee with godliness and walked in thy Commandments blameless And guide I beseech thee my dear yoke-fellow and endue him or her with thy Grace and blessing both in Soul and Body O keep him or her I beseech thee from all temptations and all inclinations to evil Give him or her an heart to hear and obey thy holy word and keep him or her from all sickness and bodily dangers And so keep us both in thy fear and holy love to each other that we may receive good and religious counsel of each other and truly follow the same and watch for each others Souls good So that at the end of a chast and holy conversation in the Lord we may together enjoy the promised felicity of thy chosen in thy everlasting Kingdom thro' our dear and only Redeemer the Lord Jesus Christ Amen A prayer to be used by the woman when conceived with child O Merciful God and heavenly Father who hast made all things and preservest all things and hast appointed marriage as the way of continuing the generation of mankind I desire to be thankful that thou hast called me to the holy state of marriage and in that state hast given me the blessing of the marriage bed even strength to conceive with Child The fruit of the Womb is a blessing from thee O God alone which all the treasures on earth cannot purchase And now O Lord I beseech thee continue thy blessing giving me strength both to bear and bring forth let the sickness and illness attending conception bring me more seriously to consider of the sin of our first parents how the woman was in the transgression and thereby my sorrows multiplied that I may be truly humbled for my natural corruption which Lord in thy mercy pardon and cleanse me from thro' the blood of Jesus Christ and give me comfort in that gracious promise of the Seed of the Woman that should break the Serpents head Lord I humbly beg that the expectation of pains and sorrow in travel and bringing forth may bring me to more serious thoughts of my Soul and my duty and may quicken me to repentance and stir up my heart to lay faster hold on Christ Jesus by a lively faith that all my sins may be forgiven and that I may be more watchful to all Christian duties of my place and that I may wait with patience the appointed time and be prepared for life or death as thou shalt be pleased to appoint And that I may be saved in childbearing Lord strengthen me with thy grace and keep me by thy power that I may continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety And when the time appointed for delivery shall come help me patiently to bear the pangs and thro's and sorrows And let them be sactified to the humbling of my Soul and bring me thro' all I beseech thee by thy power and goodness And give me a living child with all its parts limbs and sences in due order And grant me in due time a safe recovery of former strength that I may no more remember the anguish for joy that a man is born into the world to become a member of Christs Church that I may be glad in the Lord who is pleased to make me a chanel of blessings to my husband and family Or if thou seest fit to finish my life by this danger in child bearing be pleased to receive me to life eternal in thy heavenly Kingdom But if it be thy blessed will I desire humbly to live