Thirdly that they patiently take c Pro. 15.5.32 correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and heartie prayers to God for them 1. Tim. 5.4 Matth. 15.4 5 6. Genes 47.12 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth Fathers and Mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20.12 Deut. 5.13 By honour is meantal kinde of duty which children owe to their Parents As the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authoritie of their parents to obey and serue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and mother whâ—ch honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper hand onely but that they must loue them with all their hearts feare and dread them and that they cheerefully doe their commandements will and pleasure and that they seeke their worship credit profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they should giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and they owe to them euen their owne selues and al that they are able to doe yea and more then they are able By this word Honor is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that childreÌ„ owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Thou shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it Matth. 22.39 For who can be a neerer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to bee loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whoÌ„ next after God they haue their life and being together with many great and continual benefits towards them Also the loue that parents doe beare to their children besides so many their labours sorowes troubles and vexations should binde them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heare theÌ„ thay they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children bee as hard and colde as stones yet the experience and the daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot And so take from children their dutie to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Iesus Christ said Ye are the children of the diuell Ioh. 8.44 This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely toward such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their masters euen toward such as bee rigorous For if we ought to loue all the childreÌ„ of Adam euen those whom wee know not or our enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents albeit they shuld intreate vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deede and verily the principal cause stil abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofes and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their childlike affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguish weeping sorow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and indure for them This loue must bee accompanied with reuerence and respect to say the truth Matth. 23.9 albeit the name of father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one father euen him that is in heauen Yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon hee vnderstanding that his mother Berthsheba was comming to speake with him 1. King 2.19 arose from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and set her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnes neither his royall estate priuiledge him from this respect honour due to his mother But when the sonne doth execute his magistracie or publike office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a Magistrate not as a sonne but when hee is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honour or wealth do despise their parents if they bee of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of theÌ„ So that that man putteth off the affection of a childe to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a son But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother as is aforesaid but also called her mother saying 1. King 2.10 Mother aske and J will not denie thee And this doe we the rather note also vpon another consideration namely that his example coÌ„demneth the custome of these daies wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base contemptible that the childreÌ„ of kings princes yea euen of mean gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Sir my Lord my Ladie Madam c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implieth not onely this outward reuerence but also that wee should so esteeme of them as that neither our selues should despise them neither should wee suffer others to haue them in contempt And this are wee to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ Iohn 8.49 I honour my father but you dishonor me He there defendeth the honour of his father against the false opinions and slanders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of theÌ„ but also will themselues so farre exceede as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lie vncouered Gen. 9.22 called his brethren to shew them his fatherâ— shame But so odious was
much before as conueniently may be rising so much the more earely in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of other seruantes especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God a care to serue him in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keepe holy the Sabboth which doe not now at all others might keep it more thē they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we gonot about to practise it let vs but obserue the which we shal see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the master is as willing to let him goe you would wonder to see how things shal be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shall be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing bee otherwise then is vsuall it is borne with because it is a day of making prouisiō for themselues and that day is not euery day So thē if the masters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship and credite that their seruantes were religious then that they were costly and well set out in apparell they would bee better contented to spare thē during the time of that Market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods spirit and the riches of the Kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onley saue their owne soules but bee made more fitte to doe dueties to their masters of conscience The gouernours of families should take order that their whole household might come to Church togither Therefore to end this point it is the dutie of all household gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readines to attend vpon them to and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he will but that they should goe togither And indeed this hath beene the orderly comming of Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many togither and by companies whereof the Prophet speaketh When J remembred these thinges Psal 42.4 I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude ledde them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praise as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to goe with a great company to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby hee declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men goe to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as goe will goe togither so they did not onely goe to the house of God cheerefully but many of them togither euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many are condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they goe vnto for all the people nay the seuerall households come not togither but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her wee cannot tel how long especially the maid seruants who must needes bee as long after her as the men-seruantes are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either halfe the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarrie till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may bee wearie and sometimes colde with tarrying before the other shall bee warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the masters why they alone make such haste leaue all the rest behind them they answere truly because the time is come wherein vsually publike prayer beginneth can they bee perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with him Hath he no longer time to tarrie and haue they time to tarrie so long after him as though there were one Law for him and another for them or rather that the same Law of the Sabboth which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doeth did not as forcibly bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keepe holy the day as well as himselfe which if he graunt to be true and yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacie of the rest in the familie his case is to be pitied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might doe well to set vp one of them in his steed 1. Cor. 6.4 seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouerruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that hee might bring this matter happily to passe as hee must goe before them by his owne example and be readie be times euen first of all so hee must earnestly call vpon them for this duetie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more forward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also for this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me Psal 122.1 wee will goe into the house of the Lord or let vs go into the house of the Lord for they are wordes of exhorting and encouraging one another thereunto Euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospel that they shal go togither to serue God and therfore cal vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes Esay 2.2 3. that the Mountaine of the house of the Lord shal be prepared in the top of the Mountaines and shall be exalted aboue the hilles and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall goe and say Come and let vs goe vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the
angrie one with the other but to set aside all hastie and â—â—â—ell words and correction with all other thinges that issue and proceed of a disdainfull and a furious mind And the seruants are not onely merrie therefore but also they doo their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully shewing reuerence vnto the maiestie that proceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and concord For the husband doth defend his wiues maiestie with loue and beneuolence and the wife her husbands with honour and obedience So that vnitie and concord causeth them to be esteemed wise honest and vertuous and they must needs bee good seeing they haue loued so long togither But there can bee no long amitie or friendship but betweene those that are good the which doo suffer and deuoure vp those things for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie and breake off charitie Neither doth there growe of any other thing so great reuerence and maiestie as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome the which reuerence is not onely honoured within the doores but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the cittie so that he is taken for an honest man and accounted to be louing and gentle seeing that hee loueth his wife so constantly and also he is reputed for a wise man considering that he can so moderately handle so difficult and hard matters and he is reckoned worthie to rule a common wealth that with such wisedome discretion and iudgâ—ment doth rule and gouerne his owne house and that he may easilie conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord that hath so wel established the same in his owne house and familie And on the other side none will thinke or beleeue that he is able to be ruler or to keep peace and quietnesse in the towne or Cittie who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house where hee is not onely a ruler but a King and Lord of all And in matrimoniall debate and discord the man is more to bee blamed then is the woman because that hee being the chiefe Ruler and head doth not purge and remedie her of that vice the which ingendred that discord or else patiently beare suffer the same for the blame of al discord is commonly laid on him that is chiefe because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife â—nd discord or else because he was not able to do it In the first there appeareth manifest maâ—ice in the second impatience weaknesse the which ought to be far froÌ„ him that is esteemed â—o be most worthy appointed to rule gouerne others And thus he coÌ„meth into hatred â—or as much as he hath left off to do his duty and â—ffice wheÌ„ necessitie required it That husband â—hat loueth not his wife after that he hath enioiâ—d her for a season but doth wax feeble cold which is a thing most meet and conuenient for â—hose that are kindled with bodily lust lecheâ—ie who are very beasts and no men hauing no â—easoÌ„ but are drawn to those deeds through the â—otion of their sences the which after the heat â—e a little past will clean change their opinion Also there are other occasions The causes why the husband should loue his wife that should mooue the husband to extend this loue to his wife in case he be not duller then a stone As for â—â—at his wife hath suffered so great trauel and laâ—our that she hath borne and brought him forth children the heires of his name and substance and the vpholders of his familie and that shee hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches to follow him and to suffer with him both good and euill and that she setting her whole mind now vpon him knoweth no other father nor yet any of all her kinne What one thing shall suffice if these and others cannot do it who so will then obey nature humanitie and wisedome shall euery day loue his wife more and more And the better he knoweth her the more he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought thus to loue his wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes The husband must loue his wiues kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly theâ— cousin doth aide and helpe them and that shee in like maner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her frends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsmen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any and thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties themselues which are ro bee performed of the husband and wife are eyther pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues for pietie and godlinesse 1. The first common dutie is praier that they pray together by theÌ„selues for as they are to pray with others in their families for thinges which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posteritie and that in the birth the children be comely and not monstrous in comming foorth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well carriage and good behauour as likewise for their household and for diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike families As Isaack and Rebecca besides the praiers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams familie did also pray together priuately as in Genes 25.21 it is saide Isaack praied before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another as the husband is to admonish the wife so also to teach her and the wife to admonish the husband and in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the Maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5.13.14 heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Jorden according to the saying of the Prophet So in like maner the husbands dutie is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet
and wisedome vnto him As 1. Pet. 3.6 Ephes 5.33 Ester 1.1 2. c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may bee performed without offence to God neither to presume ouer him either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and cōtempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head Yet must not this obedience so far extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Col. 3.18 Ephes 5.22 Therfore as it were a mōstrous matter and the means to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection obedience to the head take vpō it to guide it selfe and to commaund the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established and with all let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against GOD and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she finde any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him Likewise that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the regeneration of the holie Ghost the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience as many in their mariage haue in deede tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations maners of their husbands so long as the same imports no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing woorth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad so the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merie sheweth her selfe sad or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth for as men should obey the lawes of their cities so women the maners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and familie Titus 2.5 But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad First to come to holie meetings according to the dutie of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in neede as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require The third for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when hee shall require her The wife must keepe a good tongue Gen. 20.1 c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues When the wife doth holde her peace she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the woorse supper which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe wherof doth follow that now then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes more beastlike thē christianlike which their so doing is both a great shame Silence becommeth a woman and a foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to bee silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he bee angrie painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands to be solitarie and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe But if wiues bee not so dutitiful seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part is through the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede One heart and one will For as the common saying is Such a husband such a wife a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget these three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies or to pride themselues in their gifts but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants that
slaunder of their profession Temperance in apparrell And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well bee without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children This dutie containeth foure poyntes namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle in the feare and nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlines and vertuousnes Fourthly that they keep them from idlenes the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good Art or Occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion The first point 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is first that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become citizens of the church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place but alas there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to bee remembred The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name Dan. 1.7 that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias Genes 35.18 4.25.26 Luk. 1.63 Genes 16.15 21.3 And it is a thing worthie to bee wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them hauing any childrē borne that then they would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holie Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10.3 The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended And yet wee haue to remember that as those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of Patriarkes Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly christian names vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that bee not called by such christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the yearely reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors and to descend of noble parentage maketh mē noble and renowned in deed vnles they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Luk. 1.59 and 2.21 Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish betwixt man and man Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen thē and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of the couenant so likewise after the same maner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember beare in mind that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God and receiued into his fauour and therfore that we are Gods own and as it were his goods and riches as who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they must assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought foorth into the light and indued with bodie and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God his first paterne Instructing correcting and praying make good children and happie Parents 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order Vnto the bodie nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometime correction that they may keepe their children in awe 1. King 2.2 3. Genes 34.30 Iohn 1.5 Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God By the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes 6.1 Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their
and errour in superstition and idolatrie The second poynt is The second point that fathers and mothers doe nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue They bee charged by the fift commandement to feed to nourish Esay 28.10 Deut. 6.20 Exod. 12 26. and 13.14 The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to nourish them soberly to keepe them vnder obedience and to teach them good manners and to bring vp their children to teach them the principles seeds of christian religion to see they learne the Catechisme to teach them to praise God before and after meales as also to teach them by little and little by often repetitions to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted to teach them manners how to behaue themselues decently in their going in their speaking and gesture of their bodies how to order them selues reuerently in the Church how abroad in all places and towards all men in all honest companies and so to begin some conscience in them For it were better for children to bee vnborne then vntaught Now contrary to this is when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the beginning when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie and by being too hastie with them when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publike Ministrie Pro. 23.13 19.18 29.15.17 22.6.15 13.24 It is therefore meet that all fathers and mothers if they wil haue ioy of their children that then they correct them when they doe amisse and keepe them in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue according as the holy Ghost counselleth by the mouth of the wise man in sundry places For as the common Prouerbe is Byrch breaketh no bones neither moderate correction bringeth danger of death but oftentimes it bridleth keepeth backe the child that otherwise would runne headlong into hell and so is a meane to saue his soule For the fountaine of all vertue and chiefe of all mans felicitie is good instruction and right bringing vp And contrariwise children euill brought vp bring shame great heart breake to their parents As old Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes 1. Sam. 2.12 3 12.13.14 4.11 1. King 1.5.6 2. King 2.23.24 which is a notable example necessarie for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected least they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon them as did vpon this Elie who honoured his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort hee had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirtie thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phinehas killed who when newes thereof came to him for sorrow fell backeward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell died the remnant of his house was glad to craue beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and fortie children 2. King 2.23.24 that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou bald head were rent in peeces with Bears Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastised bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therfore alway remember this How children should be brought vp that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be forthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence whilst their wits are yet voyd from cares vices and whilst their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing who then will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we bee olde as those things we learne in yong yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straightway while it is moyst to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilst they are new to dye and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes Pro. 30.25 6.6.7 8. in summer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cels to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things bee done by instruction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence But man neither can eate nor goe nor speake except he bee taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeete to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how wilde then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed richly furnished and yet to haue his childe shamely rude in maners and altogether voide of al garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great follie and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regarde of his childe for whom the same is gotten Which is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foot or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garment not regarding the health of his bodie This is as the common saying is To be penny-wise and pound-foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the bodie But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne a faire building and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous conscience Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him Mat. 6.19 with rust and moth to be consumed then for to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas
Jehoram so dangerously to marrie 2. Chro. 18.1 When God would blame the Idolatrie of his people of Israel shewing both how greatly hee did hate it and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it he reuealed it vnto his Prophet vnder this parable bidding him take vnto himselfe a wife of fornications that is a wife full of spirituall whoredomes such a one as a Papist is that in such a mariage as in a glasse he might behold how loathsome the peoples Idolatries were Hose 1.2 c. Parents haue further to remember that they haue not this rule and authority ouer their children that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no or wheÌ„ they list and whom they list but fathers and mothers must consider that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord so that the Lord is aboue them and therefore parents must deale with their children according to the will and minde of God which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word Now God by his Apostle saith To auoyde fornication let euery man haue his owne wife 1. Cor. 7.2 let euery woman haue her own husband Wherby all parents may see that God commandeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie Now if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie much lesse their owne children whom if they suffer not to marrie not hauing the gift of continencie then they breake and resist Gods ordinance For we reade that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan Gen. 28.1.2 he did not restraine him altogether from mariage and therfore hee directed him where and with whom he should marrie Likewise the parents of Sampson Iudg. 14.12.3 when hee asked a wife of them did not simply forbid him to marrie but they reproued him for because hee would marrie an infidell and a prophane woman It is the parents dutie to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12.14 Gen. 24.2 3 4. Ruth 3.1 Therefore such parents as bee godly will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children and whether they can liue continent and chaste or no and if they shall make choise and haue a good liking to such as be honest religious and godly hauing craued their parents consent although they be not so rich and wealthie as they would wish them to match with yet they ought not to hinder restraine and forbid their children to marrie onely for want of goods and substance Parents ought to bee carefull that their childoe marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose and very well perceiue what they take in hand and that they doe not seeke to match them selues in marriage aboue their degree And it is very expedient that parents admonish their children to make their choise according to their complexion and condition When parents doe abuse their authoritie This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part for parents to sell their children for gaine and lucre and to marrie them when they list to whom they list without the good liking of their children Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects and so bring them into bondage And therefore if parents shal force and compell their children to marrie contrary to their mind and liking then the sorrowfull children may not say they haue maried them but for euer they haue married and vndone them And therfore to the end When parents doe marrie their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a waightie worke that marriages may be perpetuall louing and delightfull betwixt the parties there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts before striking of hands The places of scripture are many diuerse by which may plainely appeare that all godly and christian Parents are charged by God himselfe that they should be carefull in time to make meet choise of husbands for their daughters fit wiues for their sonnes amongst many these quotations doe sufficiently prooue Deut. 7.3 Nehe. 13.23.24 Ier. 29.6.1 Cor. 7.36.37.38 Gen. 24.12 c. and 28 1.1 and 34.4 and 38.6.8 Iosu 15.16 17.2 Sam. 13.13 Iudg. 14.1 c. Let fathers and mothers therefore on whom this charge by God his commaundement lieth to take wiues for their sonnes and to prouide husbands for their daughters take diligent heede hereunto that they abuse not this their power and authoritie ouer their children but as in other cases they are willed by the Apostle Col. 3.21 that they doâ—â— not in such sort towardes them that they hereby bee dismayed and discouraged so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value or all other worldly things whatsoeuer let them abstaine from all rigour and roughnesse and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment into a tyrannicall sowernesse and waywardnesse letting their will go for a lawe and their pleasure for a reason For the rule of Parents ouer their children ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects that is to say it must be milde gentle and easie to bee borne for as they so likewise Parents so farre as concerneth them and lieth in their abilitie to performe they must carry such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernment that they may by loue seeke to win the hearts of those ouer whom they are set to be firme and sure towards them and not to keepe them vnder a seruile oâ— slauish awe and subiection by too much feare but rather by a childelike and reuerent feare which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes and children vnto their Parents and which both the one and the other easilie obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouernment by their equall vpright and moderate behauiour towards them Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children It doth therefore stand Parents greatly in hand that in making choise for their children they bee free from all sinister and corrupt affection and that for lucre and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vppon their children as they cannot brooke nor like well of Yea and in this most graue and waightie cause it is a thing earnestly to be wished In prouiding of matches for their children Parents ought to beginne with prayer that all christian Parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand as if it were but a toy or a iest but that they begin it with prayer that in the whole action they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authoritie the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godly indeuour and holy care and worke