though_o fear_v without_o love_n be_v not_o a_o state_n of_o save_v grace_n and_o great_a love_n to_o the_o world_n than_o to_o god_n be_v not_o consistent_a with_o sincerity_n yet_o a_o little_a predominant_a love_n prevail_v against_o worldly_a love_n conjunct_a with_o a_o far_o great_a measure_n of_o fear_n may_v be_v a_o state_n of_o special_a grace_n and_o that_o fear_v be_v a_o easy_a and_o irresistible_a passion_n do_v oft_o obscure_a that_o measure_n of_o love_n which_o be_v indeed_o within_o we_o and_o that_o the_o soul_n of_o a_o believer_n grow_v up_o by_o degree_n from_o the_o more_o troublesome_a but_o safe_a operation_n of_o fear_n to_o the_o more_o high_a and_o excellent_a operation_n of_o complacential_a love_n even_o as_o it_o have_v more_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o belief_n of_o the_o heavenly_a life_n which_o it_o approach_v and_o that_o it_o be_v long_o before_o love_n be_v sensible_o predominant_a in_o respect_n of_o fear_n that_o be_v of_o self-love_n and_o self-preservation_n though_o at_o the_o first_o it_o be_v predominant_a against_o worldly_a love_n and_o i_o find_v that_o my_o hearty_a love_n of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o of_o the_o servant_n of_o god_n and_o my_o desire_n to_o be_v more_o holy_a and_o especial_o the_o hatred_n of_o my_o heart_n for_o love_a god_n no_o more_o and_o my_o love_n to_o love_v he_o and_o be_v please_v to_o he_o be_v not_o without_o some_o love_n to_o himself_o though_o it_o work_v more_o sensible_o on_o his_o near_a image_n 4._o another_o of_o my_o doubt_n be_v because_o my_o grief_n and_o humiliation_n be_v no_o great_a and_o because_o i_o can_v weep_v no_o more_o for_o this_o but_o i_o understand_v at_o last_o that_o god_n break_v not_o all_o man_n heart_n alike_o and_o that_o the_o gradual_a proceed_n of_o his_o grace_n may_v be_v one_o cause_n and_o my_o nature_n not_o apt_a to_o weep_v for_o other_o thing_n another_o and_o that_o the_o change_n of_o our_o heart_n from_o sin_n to_o god_n be_v true_a repentance_n and_o a_o loathe_n of_o ourselves_o be_v true_a humiliation_n and_o that_o he_o that_o have_v rather_o leave_v his_o sin_n than_o have_v leave_v to_o keep_v it_o and_o have_v rather_o be_v the_o most_o holy_a than_o have_v leave_v to_o be_v unholy_a or_o less_o holy_a be_v neither_o without_o true_a repentance_n nor_o the_o love_n of_o god_n 5._o another_o of_o my_o doubt_n be_v because_o i_o have_v after_o my_o change_n commit_v some_o sin_n deliberate_o and_o know_o and_o be_v they_o never_o so_o small_a i_o think_v he_o that_o can_v sin_v upon_o knowledge_n and_o deliberation_n have_v no_o true_a grace_n and_o that_o if_o i_o have_v but_o have_v as_o strong_a temptation_n to_o fornication_n drunkenness_n fraud_n or_o other_o more_o heinous_a sin_n i_o may_v also_o have_v commit_v they_o and_o if_o these_o prove_v that_o i_o have_v then_o no_o save_v grace_n after_o all_o that_o i_o have_v feel_v i_o think_v it_o unlikely_a that_o ever_o i_o shall_v have_v any_o this_o stick_v with_o i_o long_o than_o any_o of_o the_o rest_n and_o the_o more_o because_o that_o every_o sin_n which_o i_o know_o commit_v do_v renew_v it_o and_o the_o term_n on_o which_o i_o receive_v consolation_n against_o it_o be_v these_o not_o as_o those_o that_o think_v every_o sin_n against_o knowledge_n do_v nullify_v all_o our_o former_a grace_n and_o unregenerate_v we_o and_o that_o every_o time_n we_o repent_v of_o such_o we_o have_v a_o new_a regeneration_n but_o 1._o all_o save_v grace_n do_v indeed_o put_v the_o soul_n into_o a_o state_n of_o enmity_n to_o sin_n as_o sin_n and_o consequent_o to_o every_o know_v sin_n 2._o this_o enmity_n must_v show_v itself_o in_o victory_n for_o bare_a strive_v when_o we_o be_v overcome_v and_o yield_v to_o sin_v when_o we_o have_v a_o while_n strive_v against_o it_o prove_v not_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v sincere_a 3._o yet_o do_v not_o god_n child_n always_o overcome_v for_o than_o they_o shall_v not_o sin_v at_o all_o but_o he_o that_o say_v he_o have_v no_o sin_n deceive_v himself_o 4._o god_n child_n always_o overcome_v those_o temptation_n which_o will_v draw_v they_o to_o a_o wicked_a unholy_a state_n of_o life_n and_o will_v unregenerate_v they_o and_o change_v their_o state_n and_o turn_v they_o back_o from_o god_n to_o a_o fleshly_a worldly_a life_n and_o also_o to_o any_o particular_a sin_n which_o prove_v such_o a_o state_n and_o signify_v a_o heart_n which_o have_v more_o habitual_a love_n to_o the_o world_n than_o unto_o god_n which_o may_v well_o be_v call_v a_o mortal_a sin_n as_o prove_v the_o sinner_n in_o a_o state_n of_o death_n as_o other_o may_v be_v call_v venial_a sin_n which_o be_v consistent_a with_o spiritual_a life_n and_o a_o justify_v state_n 5._o therefore_o whenever_o a_o justify_v person_n sin_v the_o temptation_n at_o that_o time_n prevail_v against_o the_o spirit_n and_o the_o love_n of_o god_n not_o to_o the_o extinction_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n nor_o to_o the_o destruction_n of_o the_o habit_n nor_o the_o set_n up_o of_o the_o contrary_a habit_n in_o predominancy_n as_o set_v up_o the_o habitual_a love_n of_o any_o sin_n above_o the_o habitual_a love_n of_o god_n the_o inclination_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v still_o most_o to_o god_n and_o he_o esteem_v he_o most_o and_o prefer_v he_o in_o the_o adherence_n of_o his_o will_n in_o the_o main_a bent_n and_o course_n of_o heart_n and_o life_n only_o he_o be_v overcome_v and_o so_o far_o abate_v the_o actual_a love_n and_o obedience_n to_o god_n as_o to_o commit_v this_o particular_a act_n of_o sin_n and_o remit_v or_o omit_v that_o act_n of_o love_n 6._o and_o this_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o justify_v person_n to_o do_v upon_o some_o deliberation_n for_o as_o grace_n may_v strive_v one_o instant_a only_a in_o one_o act_n and_o then_o be_v sudden_o overcome_v so_o it_o may_v strive_v long_o and_o keep_v the_o mind_n on_o consideration_n of_o restrain_v motive_n and_o yet_o be_v overcome_v 7._o for_o it_o be_v not_o the_o meeâ—_n length_n of_o consideration_n which_o be_v enough_o to_o excite_v the_o heart_n against_o sin_n but_o there_o must_v be_v clearness_n of_o light_n and_o liveliness_n in_o those_o consideration_n and_o sometime_o a_o sudden_a conviction_n be_v so_o clear_a and_o great_a and_o sensible_a that_o in_o a_o instant_n it_o stiree_v up_o the_o soul_n to_o a_o utter_a abhorrence_n of_o the_o temptation_n when_o the_o same_o man_n at_o another_o time_n may_v have_v all_o the_o same_o thought_n in_o so_o sleepy_a a_o degree_n as_o shall_v not_o prevail_v and_o sometime_o the_o weakness_n of_o grace_n as_o much_o appear_v by_o make_v no_o resistance_n at_o all_o by_o cause_v deliberation_n even_o in_o sin_n of_o passion_n and_o surprise_n as_o at_o other_o time_n it_o do_v by_o yield_v after_o dull_a deliberation_n 8._o and_o though_o a_o little_a sin_n must_v be_v hate_v and_o universal_a obedience_n must_v prove_v our_o sincerity_n and_o no_o one_o sin_n must_v be_v wilful_o continue_v in_o yet_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o god_n servant_n do_v not_o oft_o commit_v sin_n material_o great_a and_o heinous_a as_o fornication_n drunkenness_n perjury_n oppression_n deceit_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o that_o they_o often_o commit_v some_o lesser_a sin_n as_o idle_a thought_n and_o idle_a word_n and_o dulness_n in_o holy_a duty_n defectiveness_n in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o omission_n of_o holy_a thought_n and_o word_n etc._n etc._n and_o that_o the_o tempter_n oft_o get_v advantage_n even_o with_o they_o by_o tell_v they_o that_o the_o sin_n be_v small_a and_o such_o as_o god_n servant_n ordinary_o commit_v and_o that_o natural_o we_o fly_v with_o great_a fear_n from_o a_o great_a danger_n than_o from_o a_o less_o from_o a_o wound_n at_o the_o heart_n than_o a_o cut_a finger_n and_o therefore_o one_o reason_n why_o idle_a word_n and_o sinful_a thought_n be_v even_o deliberate_o often_o commit_v than_o most_o heinous_a sin_n be_v because_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o awake_v so_o much_o by_o fear_n and_o care_n to_o make_v resistance_n and_o love_n need_v the_o help_n of_o fear_n in_o this_o our_o weak_a condition_n 9_o and_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o ususal_o the_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v man_n of_o most_o knowledge_n do_v therefore_o sin_v against_o more_o knowledge_n than_o other_o do_v for_o there_o be_v but_o few_o sin_n which_o they_o know_v not_o to_o be_v sin_n they_o know_v that_o idle_a thought_n and_o word_n and_o the_o omission_n of_o the_o contrary_a be_v their_o sin_n 10._o there_o be_v some_o sin_n of_o such_o difficulty_n to_o avoid_v as_o the_o disorder_n or_o omission_n of_o holy_a thought_n and_o the_o defect_n of_o love_n to_o god_n etc._n etc._n
publish_v in_o this_o age_n in_o matter_n of_o fact_n with_o unblushing_a confidence_n even_o where_o thousand_o or_o multitude_n of_o eye_n and_o ear-witness_n knâ—w_v all_o to_o be_v false_a do_v call_v man_n to_o take_v heed_n what_o history_n they_o believe_v especial_o where_o power_n and_o violence_n afford_v that_o privilege_n to_o the_o reporter_n that_o no_o man_n dare_v answer_v he_o or_o detect_v his_o fraud_n or_o if_o they_o do_v their_o write_n be_v all_o suppress_v as_o long_o as_o man_n have_v liberty_n to_o examine_v and_o contradict_v one_o another_o one_o may_v partly_o conjecture_v by_o compare_v their_o word_n on_o which_o side_n the_o truth_n be_v like_a to_o lie_v but_o when_o great_a man_n write_v history_n or_o flattery_n by_o their_o appointment_n which_o no_o man_n dare_v contradict_v believe_v it_o but_o as_o you_o be_v constrain_v yet_o in_o these_o case_n i_o can_v free_o believe_v history_n 1._o if_o the_o person_n show_v that_o he_o be_v acquaint_v with_o what_o he_o faith_n 2._o and_o if_o he_o show_v you_o the_o evidence_n of_o honesty_n and_o conscience_n and_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n which_o may_v be_v much_o perceive_v in_o the_o spirit_n of_o a_o write_n 3._o and_o if_o he_o appear_v to_o be_v impartial_a and_o charitable_a and_o a_o lover_n of_o goodness_n and_o of_o mankind_n and_o not_o possess_v with_o malignity_n or_o personal_a ill_n will_v and_o malice_n nor_o carry_v away_o by_o faction_n or_o personal_a interest_n conscionable_a man_n dare_v not_o lie_v but_o faction_n and_o interest_n abate_v man_n tenderness_n of_o conscience_n and_o a_o charitable_a impartial_a heathen_a may_v speak_v truth_n in_o a_o love_n to_o truth_n and_o hatred_n of_o a_o lie_n but_o ambitious_a malice_n and_o false_a religion_n will_v not_o stick_v to_o serve_v themselves_o on_o any_o thing_n it_o be_v easy_a to_o trace_v the_o footstep_n of_o veracity_n in_o the_o intelligence_n impartiality_n and_o ingenuity_n of_o a_o thuaâ—â—s_n a_o 〈◊〉_d a_o pâ—â—lus_n vâ—â—et_n though_o papist_n and_o of_o secrate_v and_o soâ—â—â—â—_n though_o accuse_v by_o the_o factious_a of_o favour_v the_o novation_n and_o many_o protestant_n in_o a_o mâ—lanctâ—â—â—_n a_o 〈◊〉_d and_o many_o more_o and_o among_o physician_n in_o such_o as_o cratâ—_n plaâ—â—â—us_n etc._n etc._n but_o it_o be_v 〈◊〉_d easy_a to_o see_v the_o footstep_n of_o partiality_n and_o faction_n and_o design_n in_o a_o gensbâ—â—rd_n a_o 〈◊〉_d and_o a_o multitude_n of_o their_o companion_n and_o to_o see_v reason_n of_o suspicion_n in_o many_o more_o therefore_o i_o confess_v i_o give_v but_o halt_a credit_n to_o most_o history_n that_o be_v write_v not_o only_o against_o the_o albigouse_n and_o 〈◊〉_d but_o against_o most_o of_o the_o ancient_a heretic_n who_o have_v leave_v we_o none_o of_o their_o own_o write_n in_o which_o they_o speak_v for_o themselves_o and_o i_o hearty_o lament_v that_o the_o historical_a write_n of_o the_o ancient_a schismatic_n and_o 〈◊〉_d as_o they_o be_v call_v perish_v and_o that_o partiality_n suffer_v they_o not_o to_o shâ—viâ—â—_n that_o we_o may_v have_v have_v more_o light_n in_o the_o church-affair_n of_o those_o time_n and_o be_v better_a able_a to_o judge_v between_o the_o father_n and_o they_o and_o as_o i_o be_o proâ—e_a to_o think_v that_o few_o of_o they_o be_v so_o â—ad_v as_o their_o adversary_n make_v they_o so_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o such_o as_o the_o novation_n and_o luciâ—â—rians_n and_o 〈◊〉_d etc._n etc._n who_o their_o adversary_n commend_v be_v very_o good_a man_n and_o 〈◊〉_d godly_a than_o most_o catholic_n however_o mistake_v in_o some_o one_o point_n sure_o i_o be_o that_o as_o the_o lie_v of_o the_o papist_n of_o 〈◊〉_d zwinglius_fw-la câ—lvin_n and_o 〈◊〉_d be_v visible_o malicious_a and_o impudent_a by_o the_o common_a plenary_a contradict_a evidence_n and_o yet_o the_o multitude_n of_o their_o seduce_a once_o believe_v they_o all_o in_o despite_n of_o truth_n and_o charity_n so_o in_o this_o age_n there_o have_v be_v such_o thing_n write_v against_o party_n and_o person_n who_o the_o writer_n design_v to_o make_v odious_a so_o notorious_o false_a as_o you_o will_v think_v that_o the_o sense_n of_o their_o honour_n at_o least_o shall_v have_v make_v it_o impossible_a for_o such_o man_n to_o write_v my_o own_o eye_n have_v read_v such_o word_n and_o action_n assert_v with_o most_o vehement_a iterate_a unblushing_a confidence_n which_o abundance_n of_o ear-witness_n even_o of_o their_o own_o party_n must_v needs_o know_v to_o have_v be_v altogether_o false_a and_o therefore_o have_v myself_o now_o write_v this_o history_n of_o myself_o notwithstanding_o my_o protestation_n that_o i_o have_v not_o in_o any_o thing_n wilful_o go_v against_o the_o truth_n i_o expect_v no_o more_o credit_n from_o the_o reader_n than_o the_o self-evidencing_a light_n of_o the_o matter_n with_o concurrent_a rational_a advantage_n from_o person_n and_o thing_n and_o other_o witness_n shall_v constrain_v he_o to_o if_o he_o be_v a_o person_n that_o be_v unacquainted_a with_o the_o author_n himself_o and_o the_o other_o evidence_n of_o his_o veracity_n and_o credibility_n and_o i_o have_v purposely_o omit_v almost_o all_o the_o description_n of_o any_o person_n that_o ever_o oppose_v i_o or_o that_o ever_o i_o or_o my_o brethren_n suffer_v by_o because_o i_o know_v that_o the_o appearance_n of_o interest_n and_o partiality_n may_v give_v a_o fair_a excuse_n to_o the_o reader_n incredulity_n although_o indeed_o the_o true_a description_n of_o person_n be_v much_o of_o the_o very_a life_n of_o history_n and_o especial_o of_o the_o history_n of_o the_o age_n which_o i_o have_v live_v in_o yet_o to_o avoid_v the_o suspicion_n of_o partiality_n i_o have_v leave_v it_o out_o except_o only_o when_o i_o speak_v of_o the_o cromwellian_o and_o sectary_n where_o i_o be_o the_o more_o free_a because_o none_o suspect_v my_o interest_n to_o have_v engage_v i_o against_o they_o but_o with_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o brethren_n i_o have_v oppose_v they_o in_o the_o obedience_n of_o my_o conscience_n when_o by_o please_v they_o i_o can_v have_v have_v almost_o any_o thing_n that_o they_o can_v have_v give_v i_o and_o when_o beforehand_o i_o expect_v that_o the_o present_a governor_n shall_v silence_v i_o and_o deprive_v i_o of_o maintenance_n house_n and_o home_n as_o they_o have_v do_v by_o i_o and_o many_o hundred_o more_o therefore_o i_o suppose_v that_o my_o description_n and_o censure_n of_o those_o person_n which_o will_v have_v enrich_v and_o honour_v i_o and_o of_o their_o action_n against_o that_o party_n which_o have_v silence_v impoverish_v and_o accuse_v i_o and_o which_o beforehand_o i_o expect_v shall_v do_v so_o be_v beyond_o the_o suspicion_n of_o envy_n self-interest_n or_o partiality_n if_o not_o i_o there_o also_o be_o content_a that_o the_o reader_n exercise_v his_o liberty_n and_o believe_v no_o worse_o even_o of_o these_o man_n than_o the_o evidence_n of_o fact_n constrain_v he_o thus_o much_o of_o the_o alteration_n of_o my_o soul_n since_o my_o young_a year_n i_o think_v best_a to_o give_v the_o reader_n instead_o of_o all_o those_o experience_n and_o actual_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o suppose_v he_o rather_o to_o have_v expect_v a_o account_n of_o and_o have_v transcribe_v thus_o much_o of_o a_o life_n which_o god_n have_v read_v and_o conscience_n have_v read_v and_o must_v further_o read_v i_o humble_o lament_v it_o and_o beg_v pardon_n of_o it_o as_o sinful_a and_o too_o unequal_a and_o unprofitable_a and_o i_o warn_v the_o reader_n to_o amend_v that_o in_o his_o own_o which_o he_o find_v to_o have_v be_v amiss_o in_o i_o confess_v also_o that_o much_o have_v be_v amiss_o which_o i_o have_v not_o here_o particular_o mention_v and_o that_o i_o have_v not_o live_v according_a to_o the_o abundant_a mercy_n of_o the_o lord_n but_o what_o i_o have_v record_v have_v be_v especial_o to_o perform_v my_o vow_n and_o declare_v his_o praise_n to_o all_o generation_n who_o have_v fill_v up_o my_o day_n with_o his_o unvaluable_a favour_n and_o bind_v i_o to_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o ever_o and_o also_o to_o prevent_v the_o defective_a performance_n of_o this_o task_n by_o some_o over-value_a brethren_n who_o i_o know_v intend_v it_o and_o be_v unfit_a to_o do_v it_o than_o myself_o and_o for_o such_o reason_n as_o junius_n scaltetus_fw-la thuanus_n and_o many_o other_o have_v do_v the_o like_a before_o i_o the_o principal_a of_o which_o be_v these_o three_o 1._o as_o traveller_n and_o seaman_n use_v to_o do_v after_o great_a adventure_n and_o deliverance_n i_o here_o by_o satisfy_v my_o conscience_n in_o praise_v the_o bless_a author_n of_o all_o those_o undeserved_a mercy_n which_o have_v fill_v up_o my_o life_n 2._o foresee_v by_o the_o attempt_v of_o bishop_n morley_n what_o prelatist_n and_o papist_n be_v like_a to_o say_v of_o i_o
you_o so_o far_o as_o christ_n appear_v in_o they_o let_v they_o have_v your_o special_a love_n the_o despondency_n you_o mention_v be_v unreasonable_a will_v you_o conclude_v you_o can_v suffer_v before_o you_o be_v call_v to_o suffer_v deny_v the_o bait_n of_o fleshly_a pleasure_n vain_a glory_n and_o worldly_a gain_n and_o live_v sincere_o to_o god_n in_o your_o prosperity_n and_o i_o dare_v say_v you_o may_v bold_o expect_v his_o confirm_v sustain_a grace_n if_o he_o call_v you_o to_o adversity_n i_o have_v almost_o say_v that_o with_o most_o man_n it_o require_v great_a grace_n to_o overcome_v the_o temptation_n of_o prosperity_n and_o to_o contemn_v a_o flatter_a world_n for_o christ_n than_o to_o die_v for_o he_o at_o least_o the_o one_o will_v prove_v you_o possess_v with_o his_o spirit_n and_o a_o heir_n of_o promise_n as_o well_o as_o the_o other_o and_o therefore_o the_o spirit_n and_o promise_n that_o enable_v you_o now_o to_o live_v to_o god_n will_v enable_v you_o to_o 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