Customs and Prejudices to the Infection of others It cannot reasonably be expected that Persons when they come abroad in the World should ordinarily prove better than their Education Whereas as one observes a Religious Family is on the contrary a diffusive Blessing like a Stock of Bees which sends forth Swarms and Honey into Neighbouring Parts Especially as the Members hereof come hereafter to have Families of their own Therefore to shut Religion out of Families or not promote it there is the means to thrust it out of the World This has been observed by the very Pagans as the proper way for a private Man to be a Publick Good and serviceable to the Welfare of his Country viz. by ordering things well at home with Wisdom and Care in his own House and Family And there is hardly any thing whereby so much Evil is done to the Publick as by the Carelesness of Parents in the Instruction of their Children and the Negligence or ill Examples of Masters with respect to their Servants Among some of the Heathens a Penalty has been laid upon the Parents when the Children were ill-conditioned and they might be sued in the Courts of Judicature if they neglected the Education of their Children And how much the Safety Pleasure and Comfort of our Lives depends upon the faithful Discharge of Relative Duties Experience will teach us What greater Comfort can a Parent or a Master have than to see the Success of his Endeavours for the Good of those under his Roof A natural Parent may say it as well as a spiritual one I have no greater Joy than to see my Children walking in the Truth It is said of Abraham Heb. 11.9 that he dwelt in Tents with Isaac and Jacob Heirs with him of the same Promise How comfortable is it when Father Son and Grandson are all Heirs of the same promised Salvation Especially if God bless your Endeavours towards it that they who come from your Loins may serve the Lord. There is a double Blessing where the Father is Godly and the Son so likewise To see them alive to God who were dead in Sin will revive the Heart of a Religious Parent as it did old Jacob's to know that his Son Joseph was alive To have Wife and Children bear the Image of God and our Servants to obey and serve and please their Heavenly Master and by our Faithfulness and Care and Diligence to be brought to know and love and worship and honour him and be accepted with him What an unspeakable Delight must this be when the Savour of Religion descends from the Head to all the Members of the Family as the precious Ointment poured on the Head of Aaron ran down to the Skirts of his Garments You then may and will love them with a higher kind of Love than bare natural Affection In short you will love your Husbands Wives and Children and holy Relations with another sort of Love than other Persons do theirs It is a more fervent more pure more faithful more comfortable Love which is superadded by Religion and results from their Love to God and Participation of his Image You love them as the Friends and Brethren of Christ as Heirs of the same Inheritance as begotten again to a Divine Life by the same Spirit as born of the same Immortal Seed of the Word as nourish'd by the same Spiritual Food as under the same Bond of the Covenant as of one Houshold of Faith as Souldiers under the same Colours and Banner of Christ as called to the same blessed Hope of the Gospel as Travellers to the same Heavenly Country and Coheirs of the same glorious everlasting Kingdom You cannot love your unsanctified Relations in this manner whatever Natural or Civil Bonds of Union there may be between you and them It will please you doubtless to see them thrive and prosper in the World whom you tenderly love but it must much more do so to see them faithful to God live to his Glory and ripen for Heaven Whether you live or die you may then comfortably resign them and trust them with God who loves them better than you and will be sure to take care of them With what Pleasure can you think of the Sin and Misery which they escape What Wickedness such a Child would else have committed on Earth and what Torments he must have endured in Hell if he had been wicked Their Love Honour and Obedience to you which the Grace of God will teach them will also add to your Joy in your Health and Sickness or old Age they will pray for you And if they die you can look forward to the everlasting Happiness of their Souls as well as your own and the hopes of meeting them with Comfort in the Day of Reckoning And what an Honour is it to any Family to have serious Godliness transmitted from Father to Son and from the Son to the Grand-Child To be able to say My God and my Father's God and my Grand-father's God 2 Tim. 1.5 as Pliny reports * Dr. Manton on Heb. 11. p. 551. it was counted a great Honour and Felicity that in one Family of the Fabii there were three Presidents of the Senate one after another and in one House of Curio's there were three Orators one after another Besides how Beautiful and Pleasant a Thing is a Religious Well-ordered Family How Comfortable is it to dwell in such an House Where God is Worshiped and his Laws observed and his Day sanctified his Word read his Authority owned and his Laws made the Rule Where it is an Honour and not a Reproach to eschew Evil and do Good God promises to bless the Habitations of the Just and how sweet will his Presence be unto such Whereas to live in a House where the Name of God is never used but in jest or scorn or prophane Oaths where the Inhabitants are as so many Brutes that live from day to day as if they had no Souls to save no World but this to mind and no Expectations beyond the Grave where Worldliness and Sensuality filthy Talk and Intemperance c. have infected Superiours and Inferiours Who would dwell in such a House There cannot generally be Peace and Union Love and Concord in such Mens Dwellings Family Jars Contentions and Sorrows are occasioned by Sin which Family Religion would do much to prevent and cure If Children are a Grief to their Parents and Thorns in their Eyes as a Wicked Son is the Calamity and Shame of his Father and Heaviness to his Mother they may thank themselves as of their own Planting if they did not with Love and Diligence with Wisdom and Faithfulness seek their Salvation If Servants neglect their Duty to you how can you wonder when you have neglected yours to them You must bear the Fruit of their Sin if you do not teach them the Principles of Religion which should make them better and teach them to keep a good Conscience by giving them your
Our daily Sacrifices by Prayer and Praise under the fuller Dispensation of Gospel-Grace should not be fewer or less frequent than theirs of another sort But I hope I have said enough in the Former Letter to recommend the Worship of God in Families Doubtless one Advantage of it would be to sit us for those other Duties and Parts of Worship which are sometimes urged to excuse the Neglect of this For how many are ready to say we pray to God every day in Secret and we joyn every Week with others in Publick Worship and what need of any more Whereas one part of our Duty is so far from interfering with the other that the one will help to the better performance of the other By praying in Secret you will be inabled to pray in your Family and by both these may obtain Assistance and Success in the Publick Worship of God and by attending upon the Publick Worship you will be fitted for the other parts of your Duty in Secret and Private You are obliged to pray in Secret if you had no Families and it is very doubtful in a numerous Family whether all the Members of it do daily pray in Secret or not If it be said that there are very many of those who make a great Profession of Religion who yet live in the neglect of Family Worship I answer that is no wonder because there be many who profess to be what they are not who have a Name to live and are dead But if they be real upright Christians they are either under the Power of a present Temptation or under the Conduct of an erring Mind as misled by some False Teachers c. and so they will neglect this Duty no longer than till their Errour be removed or the present Difficulties in the way of this Practice are got over which many say they would be glad of but cannot yet attain As in some Families it is pretended they have not Time every day for such Work My Trade will not allow me I have a Charge of Children that must be maintained and my Business must be minded or I am obliged to be Abroad early and late I cannot read the Holy Scriptures in my Family and pray every day with those of the Family for want of Time I have often thought of this Objection this Winter and how the Providence of God has removed it as to a great many Families to their sad Disappointment and Sorrow What else mean the many Complaints of Starving Families for want of Trade They have Time enough now to pray for they have no Work Let such reflect upon themselves and consider how righteous it is from God that whereas while they had Trade and Business they would not find Time to pray God should punish their Neglect by blasting their Endeavours and now they want Trade and would be glad of Work to employ their Time But what need is there for any to be so long in Family-Worship as to hinder the Business of their particular Calling Though it may be all in the Family cannot come together yet some may and possibly the greater part if a little Prudence and Consideration be used as to the choice of the Time And if less time were spent in the Morning in most cases there might be more redeemed in the Evening Many might redeem time from the Coffee-House and from the Tavern and from time-wasting Clubs and Meetings by appointment without Business while their Children and Servants at home are exposed to Temptation and the Worship of God neglected there or hudled over slightly towards midnight between sleeping and waking Every one will grant that Success in his Trade and Calling depends upon the Blessing of Heaven but most live as if they believed nothing of it For it can hardly be denied that to begin the Day with God and heartily implore his Blessing is the best way to have it If what you get be not accompanied with the Divine Blessing you will have little Comfort in such increase And how can it be proved that it is your Duty to grasp so much Worldly Business as is inconsistent with the worshiping of God in your Families and having time to mind the Souls of those committed to your Charge Business you say must be minded Your lawful proper Business it is true must be so in its place But as one says this Devil of pretended Business has destroyed and damned more Souls than all the Devils in Hell besides How easily can God by Sickness or grievous Pains unfit you for the business of your Calling or disable your Servants by Sickness if he be provoked by your neglect of him in your Families He may either blast all your Diligence the Curse of God shall blow upon you you shall labour much and get nothing Or he may disable you and yours from following your Trade and Business O how easily can God make you know that if you will not find a time to pray you must have a time to be sick as well as others How soon and suddenly may he summon you by Death to his Judgment-Seat Think now whether when you shall appear there you will pretend the want of time for this Work Let Conscience speak the Truth Is it not that you want a Heart God allows us a sufficient Time for our particular Calling If our Hearts were filled with Love to God and awed with his Holy Fear we should not rob him of that which belongs to his Service The Grace of God to sanctify our Hearts would answer and remove a thousand such Pretences There be many who cannot plead the want of Leasure who pretend the want of Parts and Gifts to instruct and teach others or to pray with them But let them seriously accustom themselves to secret Prayer and they may quickly learn to pray in their Families Get but your Hearts affected in a due manner with Family Wants and Sins and Mercies and you will soon be able out of the abundance of the Heart to express your selves sufficiently well For it is not fine Words and good Language that God regards and is pleased with but a serious reverend holy thankful Heart You do not want words to express your Desires in other Cases nor would you here if you were to beg your own Life or that of a dear Relation of an earthly King or Judge It is a shame for Christians who have lived long under the Ministry of the Gospel and have such Advantages of the Bible in a known Tongue and of so many useful practical Books to pretend the want of Gifts for this Duty However rather use a Form and take the Assistance of a Book for a while than wholly neglect the Duty Almost all the Old Divines called Puritans acknowledged the Lawfulness of a Form of Prayer and advised the use of one in this Case It is better to own and acknowledge God and do something in this kind though with some Imperfection than affront him and despise him
than it should be omitted These plain things I offer'd and recommended with Seriousness to remove the common Objections Pleas and Excuses for the neglect of Family-Religion and Worship and touching the Duty of the several Relations in Religious Families If any may be hereby confirm'd or convinc'd I know you will rejoyce with me and bless God I am Yours Of Family Religion The THIRD LETTER SIR WIthout farther Preface I continue to make good my Promise by sending you the Remainder of my Papers on this Subject containing some Directions and Counsels relating to Family Religion You who are Heads of Families are in the first place obliged to be very Careful and Circumspect Serious and Exemplary in your Lives you ought to take heed that you give no Example of Vice before Inferiours They will sooner Imitate you in what is Evil than Good Let them have no Incouragement or Countenance given them to Sin by any thing they see you do You will quickly lose all Authority and Power to reprove or suppress their Evils if your own Example countenance them in it It is altogether unlikely that Religion should thrive among Children and Servants where the Parent or Master gives a Pattern of Drunkenness or Lewdness of Injustice Deceit and Fraud or only keeps up the Worship of God to cloak his own Wickedness or serve some secular Design Wo to those Parents and Masters whose Children are Witnesses of their Impiety and like enough to follow them without a wonderful Grace to their eternal Ruine Never Parent had such a wicked Child said a bad Eather once to a Rebellious Son Yes Sir replied the Impudent Youth My Grandfather had Some have inquired for what reason the Prophet Elisha called for Vengeance on the Children that mocked him and stiled him Bald-pate 2 Kings 2.23 when many of them it is probable hardly understood what they said The Reason assigned is this because the Children learnt that Language from their Parents and God punished the Parents in the Death of the Children and both at once Some of the Heathens have been very wary and cautious not to speak an uncomely word in the presence of their Children Certainly the Head of a Christian Family is obliged to behave himself Wisely in an upright way and to walk within his House with a Perfect Heart Psal 101.2 and in all things to shew himself a Pattern of Good Works Tit. 2.7 A prudent grave chearful sincere Deportment as becometh Saints would recommend Religion and diffuse the savour of it to all about it But if you give them never so good Counsel they will sooner be influenced by a bad Life than by the best of Words All your good Precepts and Counsels will be as Water spilt on the ground if not accompanied by a good Example What you would reprove and amend in their Words or Actions let them be sure to hear nothing of it in your Discourse and see nothing of it in your Practice You must lead them the way in Humility and Charity in the Government of the Tongue Passions Appetite in the Redemption of Time in Prayer and love to the Holy Scriptures and the Ordinances of the Gospel c. How can a drunken or unrighteous Father or Master expect his Children and Servants should be sober and faithful Can you hope to teach them Sobriety and they see you are Intemperate or Meekness when they see you cannot govern your Passions They will sooner learn your Sin than your Trade And is not the Money given with such an Apprentice very ill bestowed One Two Three Hundred Pounds or more to have them taught to serve the Devil and damn their Souls by the Example of a wicked Master But such Masters shall have double Damnation Therefore let your own Example teach all your Relations that Holiness and Unblamableness in Tongue and Life which you desire they should learn and practise But besides your own Example you are obliged by all other ways to indeavour their Spiritual and Eternal Good You are worse than Insidels if you provide not what is Needful and Fit for them as to their Temporal Life much more if you neglect their Souls O look upon them with Pity and Compassion help them as knowing their Ignorance their Temptations and Danger Remember they must shortly die and be saved or perish for ever Use all Advantages you have to do them good Let them not be betrayed to eternal Ruine by your neglect Ministers by publick Preaching cannot do so much to further their Salvation as you and it is very little we can hope to do without your Assistance You can speak sharply enough sometimes of unfaithful Ministers who neglect the Souls of their People but consider not your own Guilt and dreadful Reckoning upon the like Account You expect more Duty sometimes from One Minister than Six can perform while you make no Conscience of neglecting your own Duty in your proper Sphere It will be a dreadful Meeting in the Day of Recompence to have your Children or Servants to accuse their Parents and Masters saying I was so many Years in my Father's House or I lived so long with such a Master who never concerned himself about my Soul I had never been a Servant of Sin and a Firebrand of Hell if he had done his part to prevent it The like will be true of ungodly Husbands and Wives who notwithstanding the Duty and Profession of the dearest Love do little or nothing to save one another from the Wrath to come O cruel Husband O cursed Wife It was long of You that I am now a lost undone Creature You never did any thing to assist my Salvation it was long of You that I came to this Miserable End You neither by Example or Discourse or Prayer or Admonition c. discovered any Care for your own Soul or for mine Yea how many in such Relations do much to hinder and obstruct the Happiness and Salvation of those whom they are most concerned and obliged to help For if the one be ungodly and the other be an awakened serious Christian the Latter shall commonly find the greatest Opposition and Difficulty and Hinderance in Religion from him or her who should have given the greatest Help and Assistance Remember therefore that besides Prayer in your House you have other Indeavours to use for the Salvation of those that live with you You mock God by praying for the conversion of Children and Servants if you do not otherwise indeavour it If you do not indeavour to convince them of their Sin and of their need of Christ and his Grace if you do not recommend him as the best Master and put them in mind of the uncertainty of this Life and of the certain Account they must give to God another day of all their Time and Talents c. And yet this neglect is now so common that they are reckoned Good Parents and Good Masters who will but give their Children and Servants leave to be good and