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B06566 The experiences of God's gracious dealing with Mrs. Elizabeth White, late wife of Mr. Thomas White of Coldecot in the county of Bucks. / As they were written under her own hand, and found in her closet after her decease, she dying in child-bed, Decemb. 5. 1669. White, Elizabeth, d. 1669. 1698 (1698) Wing W1763; ESTC R186485 11,805 24

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forty dayes after his Resurrection and in their sight did ascend into Heaven with the same Body which was Crucified upon the Cross where he is set down at the right Hand of the Majesty on High and is become a glorious Mediator between GOD and Man being anointed of God to be an eternal King Priest and Prophet to the Saints whose peace he hath purchased by the Blood of his Cross and I believe that at the last and great Day the Lord Iesus when all his Elect are gathered in will rend the Heavens and come down to judge the World in Righteousness when all Nations shall be gathered before him even they that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake some to everlasting Life and some to shame and everlasting contempt and I believe that those which are alive at the coming of the Lord shall be caught up into the Clouds together with those that were asleep in Iesus to meet the Lord in the Air where they shal sit with Christ upon Thrones to judge all the Hypocrites and unbelievers to eternal damnation both of soul and body in Hell where the worm dyeth not and the fire never shall be out and the wicked being gone into everlasting punishment I believe that the Righteous shall enter into Life eternal where they shall for ever be singing of Praises and Hallelujahs to Him who loved them and washed them from their sins in his own Blood These are my principles and I trust the Lord will so fix me in them that I may never be tossed too and fro with any contrary winds of Doctrine as too many in these latter days are nay I am even at this time perswaded by the Lord that I shal not be l●d away by the errors of the wicked because the Lord hath not only rightly informed my judgment concerning these things but hath also given me good Hope through grace that he is my Father the Lord Iesus having dyed for my sins and risen again for my justification and this is that which brings comfort to my soul and makes me to rejoyce though not seeing yet believing even with joy unspeakable and full of glory so I doubt not but the Lord Iesus my dear Redeemer will so support me by his grace that whatsoever my condition hath been or shall be here in this little moment of time yet that I shall not fail of salvation through Christ in heaven for ever for in him only is my hope and I will make mention of his righteousness and of his only who is the Lord my righteousness and therefore to him be all the glory given now and for evermore Amen This confession of my Faith and my Experiences was written in a time of sweet peace my reasons why I writ them were these 1. Because formerly when I had enjoyed the sweet presence of God and been for the time filled with rejoicing yet when God had withdrawn the light of his countenance from me I presently fell to questioning all the dealings of God with me and so dishonoured God by my unbelief so that now being under the sense of love and being desirous for the time to come to glorifie God more in the great work of unbelieving I write down my Experiences hoping they may be sweet supports to me in a time of darkness 2. My desire to treasure up the Experiences which I have had of Gods goodness to me was ●●other reason why I write them knowing ●w apt I am to let slip out of my remem●●ance that which is good 3. I have been often called upon to see that ●y principles be right and to make sure my ●idences for heaven and therefore that I may ●●stifie my obedience to God and his Word ●nd that I might increase my joy in the Lord ●y believing more firmly what the Lord had ●one for my soul I set about the work of heart-●arching to see what I could find in me that ●rought me within the compass of everlasting ●●essedness and some things I found blessed be ●he Lord which I thought was worthy to be re●orded which was hss own work in me and for me and therefore I write them down and heartily desire that God may have the Glory of his own grace for I know that he only hath wrought all my works in me for of my self I am not able to think a good thought speak a good word or do a good action And I trust that the Lord will perfect that which concerns me and not forsake the work of his own hands that so I may be to the praise of the glory of his grace all the days of my life Amen FINIS
THE EXPERIENCES OF God's Gracious Dealing WITH Mrs. Elizabeth White Late Wife of Mr. Thomas White of Coldecot in the County of Bucks As they were written under her own hand and found in her Closet after her decease she dying in Child-bed Decemb. 5. 1669. PSAL. 66.16 Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul GLASGOW Printed by Robert Sanders One of His Majesties Printers Anno Dom. 1698. The Experiences of Gods Gracious dealing with Mrs. Elizabeth White FRom my Child-hood the Lord hath inclined my heart to seek after the best things and my Fathers chiefest care was to bring me up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord my nature being somewhat more mild than the rest of my Sisters I was ready to think my self some body and with the proud Pharisee to thank God that I was not as others not considering that I was but like a Wolf chained up which keeps its nature still as I by the goodness of God have seen since the Lord was pleased to lay his eye-salve upon me I was a great lover of Histories and other foolish Books and did often spend my sleeping-time in reading of them and sometimes I should think I did not do well in so doing but I was so bewitched by them that I could not forbear hearing of a friend of mine which was esteemed a very holy woman that did delight in Histories I then concluded it was no sin and gave my self wholly then to this kind of folly when I had any spare time for two or three years I had sometimes slight thoughts of Repentance but was loth to set about it and so I should put the Lord off from time to time with delays thinking still I should find a fitter time then the present I remember about a month before I was married my Father would have me receive the Sacrament of th● Lords Supper and I was very willing to it until I considered what was requsite to be in those which did partake thereof and then I began to doubt that I had not those things whic● were requisite wrought in me as Knowledge Faith Love Repentance c. and then this Scripture came into my mind He that doubteth is damned if he eat for whatsoever is not of faith is sin when I had considered those things I was filled with sorrow and could not tell what to do I was loth to disobey my Father and more loth to eat and drink my own damnation in this perplexity I set my self to seek the Lord for his grace being at that time somewhat sensible of the want of it when I had thus done I began to be comforted verily thinking that now I had repented and could believe in Christ Iesus and having some notional knowledge of things I was indiffe●ently well satisfied thinking that when I wa● married I should have more leisure to serv● God and then going to the Minister of th● Par●sh to be examined before I was admitted and finding my self able to answer him ● thought all was well with me then and so unworthy I went to the Lords Table not quest●oning but that I was in as good a condition a● any of the rest which did receive But blesse● for ever be the Lord which broke my false confidence and swept away my refuge of Lyes which I then trusted in and shewed me my sad condition I was in by nature and practise more clearly than ever before and this was about a quarter of a year after I was married in the year 1657. the Minister being upon this subject Prov. 1.23 Turn ye at my reproof c. being upon the use of trial whether indeed we had turned to God or no he bid us examine our selves by some marks which he then gave and it was at this time that God did begin to manifest his love to me as I trust in my effectual vocation here the Lord was pleased to open my heart as he did the heart of Lydia so that I attended to the things that were spoken so that I perceived my heart was not right in the sight of God and that my hope was but like that of the Hypocrite which perisheth when I came home I besought the Lord to turn me if I were not yet turned to him but yet I had not that thorow sense of sin as I had afterwards About three weeks after the Minister coming to our house my Husband and I was speaking that we would desire him to pray with us in our Chamber but that time he could not stay the next day he came and asked for me telling me that my Husband told him that I would speak with him O how was I surprized I could not tell what to say upon the sudden I was so hurried in my thoughts O how loth was I to acquaint him with my sad state ● I was ashamed to tell him that I was yet a stranger to God and all goodness till it was forced from me which when he heard he did not go about to comfort me but he asked me if ever I was convicted before and I told him yes and he repeated the first vers of the 29. Chap. of the Proverbs He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shal suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy when I heard this I was wonderfully troubled then there came many sins to my remembrance which I had taken no notice of before counting them small sins now the time which was spent in reading Histories I remembred with bitter grief and I thought that there was no mercy for me but he perswaded me there was hope of mercy for such as I and that the Lord waited to be gracious to poore sinners and then I was a little satisfied for the present but then I was troubled with blasphemous thoughts which were very grievous to me I thought I had a heart worse than the Devil and wondered that I was not consumed in some strange manner when I have seen a Spider which of all things is most loathsome to me I have been ready to wish my self such a one esteeming of it to be in a far happier condition than I was I was afraid to be in the dark lest I should met the devil I doubted whether I was elected I had read that I was not of him that willeth nor him that runneth but of God that sheweth mercy Then I thought if I were not elected it was to no purpose to strive for what God hath decreed must be but yet I was unwilling to perish I could not be so satisfied although I had but little hope to obtain mercy yet I could not but ask it I was also very frequent in hearing the Word preached and read not daring to let slip an opportunity but not without many tears lest it should increase my condemnation in this condition I remained a great while but not without some secret supports from the Lord sometimes by a word cast in upon