of God before whose Tribunal he must immediately appear of his integrity and faithfulness in his Trust both as a Pastor and Rector of the University That he had never suffered himself to be byassed by any corrupt or sinister end nor had any burthen upon his Conscience with respect thereto He professed the great care he had alwayes taken of the publick peace but added Yet neither did the love of Peace so bewitch me as that I should not distinguish betwixt genuine and adulterate Peace nor did my Affection towards my Prince seduce me so as that to pleasure him I should bring the least spot upon my Conscience But the Candor of my actions will shine when I am dead He exhorted them to mutual peace and love telling them There was nothing more unseemly than that the Preachers of Peace should be rent with strife and discord amonâ— themselves especially at sucâ— a time when the commoâ— Enemy the Papist lay iâ— wait for their ruine And after Exhortations to render all dutiful respect and Obedience to their Prince he dismist them with this Benediction The God and Father of Jesus Christ enrich you with all blessing and strengthen you with all might unto the vigorous discharge of your Ministry § 5. When the Night came on death seemed to be hastening which he perceiving entred into such discourses of Heavenly things as seemed to the by-standers so much above the rate of humane capacity to conceive and utter that they were all filled with a joyful astonishâ—ent in hearing of them The Physitians came and endeavoured but in vain by proper Medicines to asswage the force of his distemper whereupon turning his speech to God he said Thou O God shalt heal me And then poured out his prayers with a most ardent Zeal for the Remission of his sins through the Merit of the one and only Sacrifice of Christ professing that he esteemed all things though in appearance never so great to be but dung for the excellency of Christ Jesus earnestly calling upon God that he would bring him to an happy and triumphant period of thiâ— Life and grant that being covered with the Wings of Mercy he might sweetly sleep iâ— the bosom of Jesus and enjoy that sight of Gods face which with frequent pantings he thirsted for I have seen thee darkly said he in the glass of thy Word O grant me the long and much desired fruition of thy Countenance He discoursed at that rate concerning the Resurrection and Eternal Life as if he had already forsaken the earth and been translated into Heaven with so great sence and Life of Affection did he speak of these things And then taking each one by the hand that was present with him like the Patriarchs of old he blessed them with words full of Gravity and Holiness closing his Benediction with suitable Exhortations to every one That Night beyond Expectation he got a little rest And the day following the Magistrates of the City with many other persons of quality came to visit him To whom he made a very grave discourse in which he earnestly recommended the University to their favour and care and nominated a fit person to them for his Successor therein And as to his private concerns he affectionately recommended to them also his dear Wife who was then big with Child greatly praising her love and tenderness towards him in all his weakness and Afflictions adding I ingenuously profess to you I have not laid up two Pence out of all my Stipends for thesâ— worldly things were not my care nor did I ever set my heart upon them Those present solemnly promised to answer his desire iâ— all that he had mentioned tâ— them whereupon he exhorteâ— the Professors of Philosophy tâ— persevere in their work anâ— yield due obedience to his Successor And then he said â— thank my God that my memory sight hearing and thâ— rest of my senses are as strong and lively as ever But mâ— heart is estranged from thiâ— world and why O Lord Jesuâ— shouldst not thou enjoy mâ— Heart who only hast a righâ— thereto This hath been my endeavour all my Life long to dedicate and consecrate my heart to thee take it to thâ— self I beseech thee that iâ— may remain with thee § 6. After he had spoken â—hese things a gentle sleep came upon him out of which when he awaked he exprest a most ardent breathing to be dissolved and to be with Christ Come Lord Jesus said he break off the thred of this miserable Life Make hast O Lord Tarry not Jesus hath Redeemed me that he might grant to me not this frail but eternal Life Come Jesus Grant me that life for which thou hast redeemed me And when those that stood about him lamented the great loss they should have of him he said I have pass'd through all the Steps of this life and am now come to the last why should I go back again By the aid of thy presence O Lord Jesus I shall happily measure this Step also Lead thou me into that Glory which I have only seen through a Glass O that I were conversant with thee Upon occasion of some one signifying to him that the next day was the Sabbath day he thus exprest himself Let thy Sabbath O Lord begin mine eternal Sabbath Let my Eternal Sabbath receive the pledge of an happy beginning from thy Sabbath Towards the middle of the Night he got a little rest which the strength of his disease soon interrupted and he supposing his last hour to draw near sent for Mr. Walter Balcanquel unto whom when he was come in he thus addressed himself Forasmuch as you have for a long time had a Pastoral charge at Edinburgh and our friendship is of no late date I took care to have you sent for that I might make manifest unto all the Reverence which from my Cradle I have had for the Ministry of Christ I have indeed according to the measure of my gift already poured out my Prayers into the bosom of God and now I intreat you to pray for me I will joyn with my Heart and Affection only desire not the protracting of this Life Whereupon all that were present falling on their Knees Mr. Balcanquel prayed but among other things he earnestly desired that it might please God to spare so worthy a man with them for some longer time seeing both the Church and Common-wealth had so great need of his service whereupon Mr. Rollock interrupted him saying I have enough of this Life the only thing I desire is that heavenly Life which is hid with God in Christ When prayer was ended he brake forth into an earnest commendation of the Efficacy of the Word Preached The Word said he is both Life and Death nor can any 2 Cor. 2. 16. be saved without the Word Believe me 'T is no trifling matter to preach the Word It is not like the interpreting a Text of Plato or Aristotle or the making an Oration embellished with
will rather open my sin before him in a most humble confession of it and pray that he will increase in me the Grace of true Repentance yea let him wear out this body with sorrow it matters not so he give to me a broken and a contrite Heart which is a sacrifice acceptable to himself As for my part I do most willingly offer up my self Accept O Lord this imperfect Sacrifice and supply the defects thereof by the perfect Righteousness of that great high Priest who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unto God without Spot Let me be accepted as a living Sacrifice holy and well-pleasing unto God which is our reasonable service Crucifie O Lord this old man that the body of sin may be utterly destroyed and I may rise again unto a new life The wages of Sin is death bu◠Rom. 6. ult the Gift of God is Eterna◠life by Jesus Christ our Lord Then repeating the word Gift he added It is meer Grace not of Works but of him that calleth Who shall la◠Rom. 8. 33. any thing to the charge of God elect It is God that justifieth Who is he that condemneth I◠is Christ that dyed yea rathe◠that is risen again who is eve◠at the right hand of God wh◠also maketh intercession for us Then after a little interruption of his discourse by a shor◠sleep he thus proceeded I am God's and he wil◠save me he hath honoure◠me with an holy Calling and hath not suffered his gif◠to be altogether useless in me as to the Edification of hi◠Church As to my self I can most truly affirm that I have not served him for filthy Lucre but with a sincere heart and that I was my self first perswaded of the truth of the Gospel and experienced the efficacy thereof before I preached it to others I tasted the good Word of God which by it's power pierceth even to the dividing asunder of Soul and Spirit and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart Thou hast known my heart O Eternal God! thou knowest that I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ but have esteemed it my only honour to serve thee and that I have delighted my self in the pleasure of obeying thy will Such was thy goodness unto me I truly and humbly acknowledge that whatsoever good was in me flowed from thy Grace bu◠my defects ought to be ascribed to my inbred Corruption Alas I acknowledg◠this with humble and serious repentance how oft hav◠I sinned in so holy a Charge not only by omitting man◠things which I ought to hav◠done but also by doing many things amiss How of have I offended through negligence and slackness Long since had I been cast off wer◠it not that I had to do wit◠so good a Lord who hat◠born with me and hath bee◠so gracious to me as no◠to exact a severe account o◠my Words and Works Alas O Lord my God! Enter no◠into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no man living be justified Let me be found not having mine own Righteousness but the Righteousness of thy Son for the sake of which I beg thy favour Pardon O my God Pardon the Iniquity of thy Servant who is devoted to thy Fear I refuse not thy discipline I know it is necessary only this I earnestly beg that it may turn to my Salvation Chasten me O Lord but in measure lest thou bring me to nothing Let not my tryal exceed my strength lest I Sin through Impatience and become a Scandal to those I should edifie O let me never break out into a murmuring complaint O how light is this chastisement if compared with my fault What are these temporal pains in comparison with those Eternal torments from which I am redeemed by him that poured out hi◠Soul upon the Cross for me For Me This is the languag◠of Faith which makes a particular application of General Promises This is a faithful saying and worthy of a◠1 Tim. 1. 15. acceptation That Jesus Chris◠came into the World to sav◠sinners of whom I am Chief Lord I believe help tho◠mine unbelief Turn tho◠me and I shall be turned indeed Seal all thy Promise in my Soul Cause in the inmost of my heart a lively perception of those sweet word◠My Son be of good comfor◠thy sins are forgiven the◠With such holy Meditatio◠and speeches as these was th◠Thursday night passed over § 7. On Friday morning Dec. 30. Mrs. Rivet his Wife put him in mind of sending one to the Hague for his Son By all means said he that ought to have been done sooner and then gave order himself concerning it About Nine of the Clock he was visited by Renessius a Doctor of Divinity and Pastor of a Dutch Church who in the Latine Tongue saluted him after this manner Most excellent man how do you To whom he answered in the same Language I am yet strong neither doth my Speech fail me but that passage in my bowels is not yet opened and unless that be opened I see I must make my passage another way even that which the Eternal God hath set before me from my Infancy I should be the most ungratefull of men if I should not acknowledge the mercy of God towards me who hath so wonderfully preserved me even from my Cradle Then rehearsing his deliverance from a very dangerous * Viz. A fall whereby his life was in graet hazard accident that befell him in his Infancy through the negligence of the Maid he added From that time my Mothe◠consecrated me unto God and he abundantly blessed me all my life-time and the whole Family And therefore I place all my hope in the goodness of God being ready either to live or to dye I have alwayes thought tha◠either this disease would be my death or else the Stone for I have scarce ever been afflicted with any other distemper I pray you to testifie unto all men that I dye in that Faith and Doctrine which I have alwayes delivered both in Preaching and Writing And if perhaps in some things I have erred I pray God that he will make perfect all my Imperfections The rest of the day was filled up with the Visits of Friends for he would have none hindred from coming to him Let all that will saith he have access to visit me I ought to give an Example of dying to other men With such sayings as these he filled the by standers both with Consolation and with Wonder while he thus proceeded Come see a man who is an Example of the Great Mercy of God What shall I render unto him All his Benefits overwhelm me He hath so disposed my Life that in my whole Course I have had an healthful Body he hath heaped upon me both temporal and spiritual Blessings And now before I am rendred feeble or morose thro' Old age he comes unto me and prevents me he both
and a wind that passeth away With how small a thing are the strongest among men cast down By a vile excrement by a little obstruction which no Remedies can open Thou hast done this O thou Eternal one Thus it pleaseth thee and I would have it so too Let it be done to me according to thy Word I am in thy fatherly and Gracious hands I fear nothing Thou art my safeguard and my exceeding great reward Then he repeated in the Hebrew tongue that sentence out of Lamentat 3. 24. Thou art my portion saith my Soul And seethose that stood by him were alwayes speaking to him of Good things Well done said he cease not to strengthen me unto that end God will supply you with matter for discourse for he is not only present with the sick himself for his aid but also with them that are called to succour him for he is nigh unto all that call upon him in truth Then he again poured forth his prayers for the Church of God saying O Lord it is thy possession which thou hast purchased with thine own blood forsake not thine own work let an holy jealousie be kindled in thee lift up on high the arm of thy power and bring down the audacious ones which tyrannize over thy flock Rebuke thou the negligent that heal her wounds slightly Reduce into the way those that wander and strengthen that which is ready to fall through division Gather both the one and the other to thy self into one body building them upon the foundation of the Prophets and Apostles Jesus Christ himself being the Ephes 2. 20 21. chief corner Stone in whom all the building fitly framed together groweth into an holy Temple in the Lord. And then making a little pause he added I have been one of those builders I have brought what I received from the Lord that I might put to my helping hand with others towards the building of this Temple and I my self shall be a Living Stone in this Spiritual House He suffered no day nor night to pass over without his Prayers for the House of Orange Tbou hast afflicted it O Lord said he but we beseech thee let it not be destroyed Let this * The young Prince born but a little before Branch grow up which if it be thy good pleasure may come to be a fruitful tree in it's time Let all acknowledge that good to come from thee and that thou alone canst give both being and well-being How great folly is it to put confidence in man and in the Son of man who is nothing His breath goeth forth and then his best contrived thoughts perish § 10. On the next day which 1651. Jan. 1. Lords-day was the first of the year 1651. when he first beheld the light he said O Lord thou hast granted unto me to see the beginning of the year thou hast measured out my time unto the midle of this Age Then he asked what hour of the day it was and what weather when it was answered that the weather was very sharp and severe he was afraid it might hinder his Son◠journey to him Whereupon he addrest himself to God after this manner O my God bring my Son unto me that I may see him embrace him and bless him before I dye Then turning himsel◠to his Wife he said Dost think this earnest desire to see him proceeds from some carnal affection Nothing less Truly I love no man any more according to the flesh I earnestly desire his eternal Salvation and I hope to have those discourses with him which may increase his zeal in adorning his * His Son was a Minister spiritual Vocation I have yet spirit and utterance sufficient for that work Let none be hindred from coming to me It is usual for a man in my station by admonishing others publickly to make confession of his own Faith not for the sake of a little vain Glory O Lord thou knowest for it little concerns me to be approved unto men provided I may approve my self unto God but I desire the Salvation of many and to give testimony to the truth of those things which I have publickly taught This day also was taken up with the Visits of Friends and amongst others that came there was Collonel Verneuil and some more Officers in the Garrison of which two or three were of Poictou unto whom he said I rejoyce that I have opportunity to make a Confession of my Faith before you that are my Countrey-men And I pray you to keep it i◠memory and give testimony of it where it shall be necessary For you see before you◠eyes a man weak indeed but without guile who solemnly protesteth That h◠hath never published in hi◠Writings nor taught wit◠his Lips any thing that di◠not agree with the sence o◠his heart and the Doctrin◠which hath been delivered t◠us by the Prophets and Apostles which is the same wit◠that which is found in th◠Confession of Faith of ou◠Churches in which I hav◠lived and in which I purpose to dye The Lord God Almighty confirm you in that Faith so that nothing may move you from it For what will it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own Soul Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and then all other things shall be added to you Learn to number your dayes And get a wise heart Look upon me and let me be an example unto you It is but eight dayes since I preached to you of Mans frailty being my self in health and lively at that time and now you see the truth of what I said in my self Certainly what is visible to us and set before our eyes hath a more perswasive power than words which only beat the ears And then taking his leave of them he added The Lord deliver you from the allurements of the world and give you an increase of his fear and of all spiritual and temporal gifts A while after there came to hi◠the worthy Snellen Burgomaster of Breda unto whom h◠chearfully gave an account ◠the nature of his disease wit◠the causes and consequents there of and then said Praise be to God who hat◠given me to know the en◠of my life I should be th◠most ungrateful of all men ◠I were not contented wit◠that measure and term ◠Life which he hath afforde◠me and if I should not acknowledge his great Goodness and provident care ◠me in the whole course ◠my life Especially I giv◠him thanks for laying ou◠this place for me to pass m◠old age in amongst good me◠with whose kindness I hav◠been refreshed and to who◠for their multiplied favou◠towards me I can never make a sufficient return of thanks Of your sincere Affection most worthy Sir in a special manner I have had experience for which I give you my hearty thanks and in your Person to your whole Corporation which
his Son Stephen that he may be an useful Instrument for the promoting of Gods Glory a diligent workman that needs not to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of Truth O Lord my God I pray not onely for my Brother but for all those in France to whom thou hast committed the conduct and Rule of the Churches Bless their Persons pardon their defects Sanctifie their Gifts Grant unto them that they may seriously return unto the simplicitly which is in Christ and that they detract not from the Glory of God to ascribe unto man what belongs to his Salvation He is strong and Jealous If in my writings I have seemed to deal a little warmly with some of my brethren about their new notions I protest before God I was never moved by envy or wrath against any one in particular but on the contrary alwayes accounted the men that favoured those novelties among my friends And the more I loved both their Persons and Gifts the more it grieved me that I could not reconcile their Maxims with the Word of God I do most earnestly beseech God that he will give them the Spirit of Peace that they may be of the same Judgment and speak the same things And that the love of God may constrain them and gather them into one in Christ â—ph 4. 13. Till we all come unto the unity of the Faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God unto a perfect man unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ That following the Truth in love we may grow up into him in all things who is the head even Christ I would have thee without delay write unto thy Father he is my Brother in a double bond I have alwaies esteemed and loved him he hath been an useful Instrument for the Glory of God and I doubt not but he will throughly accomplish his work in him to the Glory of his own Name and his eternal Salvation I go before him in a little time he will follow after me he is almost come to the end of his course and there remains but a little time before God will Crown his labours with an Eternal Reward And here again in an extraordinary transport he brake out into these expressions O great and Immense Mercy who can but be rapt into admiration He gives both being and well-being He bestowes his gifts he supporteth he pardoneth he worketh in us both to will and to do according to his good pleasure and when himself hath given and wrought all this yet he gives to us an Eternal Reward Amen Amen Be it unto me according to thy word even according to the faithfulness and stability of thy Promises Then turning his discourse to his Niece again Write also said he to thy Brethren That I love them and that I pray for their Salvation And thou my dear Niece I love thee not because of that near affinity which thou hast to me but rather because we both have one God and one Hope Thou knowest the love and affection which I have had for thee which hath been a Paternal love indeed for a token of which take thou the Bible which thou shalt find in my Study In specicial I recommend to thee my Wife thy very good Aunt To thy power Comfort and assist her Be unto her instead of a Daughter and help her to digest the Sorrow she will have for my absence § 13. On Monday Morning Monday Jan. 2. he desired to arise out of his bed that he might write those Letters which he had made mention of in the Night and also that he might adde something to the Codicil which was annexed to his Will the Evening before His Strength was sufficient to admit the putting on of his cloaths and also his walking into his Study where he took the Bible designed for his Niece and gave it to her himself And to Mr Dauber who was then with him he gave an Arabick new Testament and laid by another Book for Mr. Hulsius and one for his Brother Rivet to be immediately sent unto him to Champuer non in France unto whom being returned into his Chamber he wrote this letter My Dear Brother I Now write my last to you with a trembling and dying hand After the preaching of a Sermon on Christmas day in perfect health it is now eight daies since I have been afflicted with a Stubborn Constipation and the expulsive faculty is wholly exstinct in me Wherefore I am determined by the Grace of God to dye with courage and constancy By the obstinate continuance and pains of my distemper I am quite worn out and the day of my dissolution draws near My Niece Mary Mouline shall write unto you an account of my last Hours and of that tranquility of mind which God affords to me I expect the coming of my Son to whom I may commit my Nephews and affairs He shall give you an account of all Farewel my dearest Brother But keep me in remembrance the residue of thy life who have loved thee and thine with a great Charity Love mine again as thou doest I pray God to blesse thee and all thine Once again Farewel Dated at Breda Jan. 2. 1651. He wrote also to Mr. Mouline his brother by Affinity in these words My Dearest Brother IT so pleaseth God that yoâ— should remain alive after me I now write being upon the borders between life and death after a Sermon preached on Christmas day which was followed with â— pertinacious retention faecium in alvo induratarum and of the retaining of that load the Dissolution of the body with grievous pains is the necessary consequent Your Daughter which ministreth to me in this agony hath undertaken to write to you of my constancy and the Grace which God affordeth to me Live unto the Glory of his Name remembring me and mine who dye Your most Affectionate c. § 14. When he had written these Letters he found himself exceedingly wearied and desired to be had to bed again All this day was spent in receiving his Friends especially the Pastors who were of divers Nations unto whom he discoursed largely of surrendring up himself into the hands of God and recited to them a Confession of his Faith and exhorted them to proceed chearfully in that work which the Lord had committed to them He gladly received those consolations whereby they endeavoured to asswage his pains and heard their Prayers for him with like joy alwaies adding That he was much refreshed by them All this day the time seemed very long to him while he expected the coming of his Son How fraid am I said he that I shall not see my Son It is the only thing I desire in this life When he was wholly given up by the Physitians and now for many daies had neither received nor voided any thing a little after Noon a good man that was touched with our Affliction said unto us That it seemed a very wonderful and strange thing
Spirit is strong and enriched § 24. Then turning again to his Son he said My Son God blesse thee more and more How greatly do I rejoyce when I behold in thee the Grace of God! It was my great desire to see thee from the first day of my sickness Thou art the youngest of my Sons and thou only art left alive to me upon the Earth Thou shalt be my Benjamin and God will bless the Charge I have committed to thee and will be present with thee for thy help therein The Almighty God give unto thee and thy Nephews blessings in Israel and especially spiritual Blessings for temporal Blessings follow upon Spiritual Praised be God that hath made thee a Spectator of my last Conflict It is a Conflict but yet sweet because of the Consolations of the Spirit of God which abound in me Thou hast strove enough O my Soul rest in God who is thy Saviour Then hearing the Clock strike he asked what hour it was which when he knew he said The Time passeth away and we pass away with the time howbeit we are confirmed and strengthened by the Grace of God every hour Then smiting upon his Breast he said There is Joy within by the habitation of the Spirit of God in me O Good God! who am I that thou shouldst vouchsafe to come and dwell under my poor roof So it hath pleased thee O Lord that thy Spirit should dwell in me to the end and therefore I have cause of rejoycing in earnest § 25. Thus was the Thursday Fryday Jan. 6. night passed over The poor sick man was wearyed and exceeding thirsty yet durst not drink He seemed to be breathing out his Soul every moment and panted for deliverance but the end of his Conflict was not yet come there remained still above twenty four hours to be undergone and those very sharp His Son had betaken himself to some rest in the morning and after a while coming into the Chamber again his Father said to him A good day to you Son I am glad you have taken some rest Help me a little Which being done he added My Son this duty will be pleasing to God I should have reckoned my self happy if in any thing I could have helped my Father he was a good and a pious man I had also an holy Mother which deserved very well of the whole Family there was in her an holy Ambition and ardent Charity My Son how do I rejoyce to see thee I have yet many things to say to thee Remember that thou speak to the Illustrious Princesses Dowagers and tell them that I dye devoted to them in all dutiful affection and that I recommend unto them the utmost I can the Institution of the illustrious Colledge in this Town which is indeed the honour of the house of Orange and of his memory who founded it unto whom in my own particular I am laid under very great Obligations That great Prince who first called me to his service in his house heaped his benefits upon me and without vanity I speak it honoured me with his friendship of which he could give no greater Testimony than by committing to me the first education of his only Son who indeed was snatcht away from us in the flower of his age when both his Fathers house and the Common-wealth had most need of him Truly he was a Prince adorned with many gifts and disposed to receive good things and to Piety I believe that God was merciful to him and that his goodness is not wholly withdrawn from this noble house to which he hath raised up a Son that may supply his Fathers place The Almighty God bless and Preserve that Branch and Bless his Education and make him to grow in Age and in Gifts and Graces that he may be an Instrument of promoting his Glory and an instance of his Grace and Favour I beseech him also to bless the Princesses his Mother and Grandmother that their Concord may turn to the Good of the Child and of the State The Lord guide them in all things with the Spirit of his Fear strengthen them in the Faith and incourage them unto every good work I hope they will keep in mind my service and Zealous Affection for the good of their noble Family But if not my trust is in God § 26. After half an hours silence or thereabouts he thus continued his discourse Hear the prayers which thy Servant offers unto thee O God for that Child let him be blessed and sanctified from his tender years that the corruption of the Age. may not pervert him Let him live before thee Let Integrity and Righteousness preserve him He also prayed for the Lady Electress of Brandenburg and her Sisters That God would adorn them with all Christian and moral Virtues and b◠with them to the end of thei◠Lives But now his oppression was so much increased that we could not take the texture of his Meditations only by his countenance and gesture we might see that he prayed continually and sometimes he uttered some words whereby we understood that others had preceded in his Meditation a◠for instance Yea Lord I believe thi◠is my joy God will perfect his work above all ◠have no more part in thos◠things that are done unde◠the Sun but I desire th◠Peace of the Church every where Then he repeated in French Metre the 18. verse of Psal 51. which is in English Metre Lord unto Zion turn thy Face Pour out thy mercies on thy Hill And on Jerusalem thy Grace Build up the Walls and love it still I am of that Zion have pity on me and deal graciously with me I am suffocated I can hardly breath The Lord brings me down but he calls my Spirit to himself The greatest thing by farr is I have no doubt of my Salvation the Lord upholds me miraculously to the end that I may edifie others by my example in this last close of my life I am well pleased O my God Far be it from me that I should murmure How small are these pains in comparison of that Grace through which I bear with a quiet mind whatsoever it pleaseth God to lay upon me Thou allayest these short bitternesses with inexpressible consolations Thou speakest unto my Soul with that sweet voice which ◠understand because I am of thy Sheep My sheep saith the chief Shepherd hear my voice I know them and they follow me To this purpose he began to recite the 23 Psalm in Hebrew The Lor◠is my Shepherd I shall not want and desired one that stood by to rehearse the rest of the Psalm And the last clause he pronounced himself from the Original viz I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever And when he saw many attending him he said You have no cause to wonder I am able to do nothing of my self The Lord worketh all in all that we may be humbled This is the School of humility Look upon me
and remember the Grace of God in me Consider how he brings me down by his mighty hand that he may exalt and Glorifie me in due time The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the Glory that shall be revealed in us This is my joy to glorifie God in my death sweet Death that is a passage unto life eternal O God strengthen the Soul of thy Servant that he may abide constant and invincible unto death I hope the Combat will not continue long Bring to pass O Lord that the End may Crown the Work § 27. Amongst the many Physitians that had attended on him there was one Dr. Crucius a Roman Catholick who came this Morning to visit him and asked him if he still continued to be of good courage Yea verily said he for I am in God and God is in me The Cross which God hath sent is small Every one must bear his Cross that he may follow Christ who hath suffered so great things for me though he deserved no such suffering This Cross increaseth my hope The Lord is Gracious who entreth not into Judgment with his poor Servant Christ hath dyed for my Sins and is risen again for my Justification A while after Mr. Wickelmans a Dutch Minister came and spake to him in the Latine tongue to whom he answered in the same Language God Strengthens me and he will preserve me from all evil I give thanks unto my God for that unspeakable goodness which he hath poured upon me he succours me in this work he hath been alwaies present with me even to this Extremity Then the Minister repeated to him the words of the Apostle 2 Tim. 4. 7 8. I have fought a good fight I have finished my course I have kept the Faith henceforth there is laid up for me a Crown of Righteousness At which words he cryed out O welcome Crown there is nothing else that I wait for God dwells in me by his holy Spirit which shall never be taken away from me Grant O Lord that I may keep thy Commands Again when beholding hiâ— pains he exhorted him to patience he answered We cannot we ought noâ— to resist the will of God O Eternal Father of our Lord Jesus Christ I give theâ— thanks for thy exceeding greaâ— benefits That it hath pleaseâ— thee that I should declare thy Praise even unto very Old Age and that thou makest me able to persist therein unto the last breath of my life § 28. At another hour when the same Minister visited him again and said You are still fighting the Good fight he answered In hope and patience I am wholly Gods and Jesus Christ's my Saviour I believe that he will keep what I have committed to him against that day Even so come Lord Jesus And when this Minister had prayed with him he returned him thanks in these words I give you thanks for your holy Prayers I doubt not but God will hear them God bless you I beseech him to make you a very powerful Instrument of his Glory He also added God hath fulfilled all his Promises in me I have seen them afar off I have believed them I have embraced them I wait for nothing more but to breathe forth my last breath God possesseth me already I feel that there is nothing wanting but that he will give me the wings of an Eagle that I may fly to the Carkass Immediately he subjoyned a verse or two out of one of Beza's French Poems to this sence O Holy Word With all my Heart To thee I flye § 29. Towards Evening the Pangs of death increased upon him The extreme Pains of his bowels his suddain fainting aâ—â— and other grievous Symptoms were the indications of approaching death But in this state and utter decay of thâ— strength of nature his exercisâ— of Faith was strengthened sâ— much the more and his patience confirmed Mourn noâ— for me said he These last hours have nothing terrible in them The body indeed suffers but the Soul is Comforted and filled abundantly The Lord is my Shepherd I shall want nothing His Rod and his Staff shall lead me safely through this short valley of the Shadow of death This little cloud hinders me not from beholding that Heavenly Light which already enlightens my Soul O Lord thou givest me light thou warmest me thou liftest me on high and I gladly follow thee being carried aloft upon the wings of Faith The sharper my pains are the nearer I am to deliverance My wound is grievous but I was silent because thou didst it Have mercy on me O Lord O my God deliver me I am impatient of delay I know that God is faithful and with the temptation he will give a way of escape that I may be able to bear it When he looked towards his Wife she thus addressed her self to him My dear I bless God and rejoyce for thee that I have seen so much of the Grace of God in thee To which he replyed Thou doest well my dear Love The Lord confirm and strengthen thy joy Mine is solid I rejoyce that thou seest the end of my Conversation Thou hast known me and thou knowest that I hate Ostentation and that more hath been attributed to me by others than I have believed of my self for I have been conscious of mine own infirmities and that whatsoever good might be in me was not of my self The Glory is to be ascribed to God alone he hath done the work Perfect O Lord and Crown thine own work I complain not of my pains I have not flattered my self in my disease for when I was first seized by it I was aware that God called for me Is it not time my dearest love Afflict not thy self I go before thou shalt follow e're long Thou hast afforded me help and hast kindly succour'd me God will bless thee and save thee doubt it not It hath been grateful to me and I most kindly accept it that thou hast had so great a Love for this little Boy pointing to his Grand-son make proof of thy love to me by loving him it is a Child void of malice and I have good hope of him if he be well guided Then calling the Child he said Give me thy hand my Son See thy Grandfather upon his death-bed Thou hast already lost thy Grandfather by Mothers side who was a pious and upright man Now thou losest thy Grandfather by Fathers side but thou hast a Grandfather in Heaven on both sides that will never be wanting to thee I hope my blessing will redound upon thee Then taking him between his hands My little Child said he Pray to God! If thou do this diligently thou shalt be like a tall and beautiful Tree planted by the Rivers of waters Have thou fair branches and be fruitful that is Fear God Then shalt thou bring forth Wisdom Prudence and Understanding Be thou Good and Beneficent shunning evil company and God will bless thee thou shalt not be
forsaken Behold thy Unkle which shall be to thee instead of a Father Be obedient to him and also to thy Grandmother and Mother whom I pray God abundantly to bless with her other Children that her little Posthumous Son that bears my Name may in time Represent me yea exceed me § 30. These holy speeches were sometimes interrupted by a short sleep and sometimes on occasion of the Prayers or Exhortations of the Ministers that came to him He received them all most Cordially and most willingly heard the Consolations that were suggested by them And he would also return Consolations to them He heard their prayers with attention and when they had done was wont alwayes to say That he found himself much relieved And then dismissed them with thanks giving his blessing to each of them as was proper to their Condition Towards Supper time he remembred the noble Virgin Anna Maria a Schurman and said She is a person to whom I have alwaies devoted my Affection and sincere Love she hath honoured me with her holy friendship and hath called me Father In testimony of my paternal Love I give her my little Bible without Points of Plantines Edition which you shall find in such a Place in my Study directing to the place If I had any strength left I would have written a Letter to her with my own hand whereby I would have testified to her how much I Honour her and esteem those admirable gifts of God wherewith he hath adorned her But you my Son shall supply this defect and inform her of my happy Departure and that I have prayed to God that he will Strengthen her in her supernatural Calling and bestow upon her the blessings of a long and prosperous Life What remains Have I not said all I have no more to do but to give up my Soul into the hands of God Is it not time O my God let it suffice Receive my Soul unto thy self O Lord I yield it into thy hands thou hast Redeemed it O God of Truth Thou art my hope and my Confidence from my youth No care afflicts me God hath removed from me the Opprobry which I feared meaning the Vomiting of his excrements a symptome usual in his Distemper He will perfect and that quickly whatsoever belongs to his Glory and my Eternal Salvation If he make any stay if he deferre my deliverance he doth it for your Edification and Salvation Let not my Sorrows be grievous to you but rather bless God who gives me a desirable plume and makes my heart joyful in the midst of my pains Rejoyce therefore and Pray with me § 31. When he had asked what a Clock it was he said to his Wife and his Son I pray you take some food I am not yet fully come to the end of my Work I want nothing and my Niece shall tarry with me and take something here to refresh her They withdrew therefore into the next Room and one brought an Egg to his Niece which he desired her to take As for me said he my Meat is to do the will of God and happily to run out the course of my life I am refreshed with holy and heavenly food My Father feeds me with that Food which he lately offered to me at his holy Table I did eat and was filled The true feeding is the feeding of the Soul that which sustains the true Life As for Corporal meats they are for the belly but God will destroy both it and them Then reaching out his hand to his Niece I Love thee said he with a Love wholly Spiritual a love of true Charity and Affection We will pass this Night together in holy Meditations and speaking to one another in Psalms and Hymns and Spiritual Songs Singing and making melody in our Hearts unto the Lord I feel my Swelling to ascend I fear that in a little time I shall be able to speak no more do not depart from me but continue speaking to me whatsoever God shall bring to thy Heart and Lips lest in my utmost weakness my Memory should fail me and I assure thee God will suggest those things to thee which which shall be for my help and Comfort in the time of need for out of the abundance of the Heart the mouth speaketh His Wife and Son being returned into the Chamber Pray ye said he for me what a joy is i◠to see these holy Souls with me § 32. Oft times through the bitterness of his pains he brake forth into Cryes or rather ardent Prayers unto God and that frequently in the words of the Psalms in the French Metre as Psal 141. 1. Jehovah upon thee I call O hasten unto me Lend to my Voice thy Gracious Ear When I cry unto thee Then adding from Psal 25. 18. Look upon mine Affliction and pardon all my sins And upon the mention of any Text that speaks of the Remission of sins he would immediately subjoyn It is done He hath caused mine iniquity to pass away from me O Lord abate and shorten my Miseries Now is thy time And then repeated from Psal 118. 24. This is a joyful day indeed Which God himself hath wrought We will be glad and joy therein With all our Heart and Thought How great is my anguish but how much greater is my refreshment An high place and a Refuge sure I find the Lord to me In day of my distress he me Relieves with rich bounty They continually suggested to him places of Scripture unto which he would return such answers as did abundantly manifest his Godly Ardor Faith and Patience as for instance when it was said to him God is nigh to all that call upon him in Truth Smiting upon his breast he replyed Here he is here he dwells in me and worketh powerfully according to his good pleasure Then that place was alledged 1 Cor. 15. Death is swallowed up in victory and he added the following words Thanks be to God who hath given us the Victory through our Lord Jesus Christ Again from Rom. 8. 30. Moreover whom he did predistinate them he also called and whom he called them he also justified and whom he justified them he also Glorified Even so it is said he Grace upon Grace O lovely Chain This is a Golden Chain indeed there wants but the last link to compleat the whole in me O Lord make perfect and Crown thy work That I may dye the death of the righteous and see those good things which eye hath not seen neither have they entred into the mind of man Thou givest me a foretast of these sweetnesses and refreshings which no words can express § 33. Then Mr. Hulsius being present asked if it would be acceptable to him that he should go to Prayer Yea said he Pray The time requires it When he had ended his Prayer he gave him thanks saying You have helped me while you called upon God I found some ease of my infirmity Encourage me the Race is short I even touch the bound