free from all affliction When shall I be admitted into that admirable beautifull house of thine where the voice of ioy and exultation doth refounde in the tabernacles of iust men They o Lord that dwell in thy house are happie because they shall praise thee euerlastingly They are happie and trulie happie indeede whoÌ„ thou hast chosen and taken vp to be heires of that celestiall beatitude Behold o Lord thy Saints doe flourishe in thy sight as a lâ—llie for that they are filled with the plentie of thy house thou giuinge them to drinke of the riuer of thy dilightful sweetnesse because thou art the fountaine of life and in thy light they doe see light soe that they the illuminated light by meanes of thee the illuminating light doe shine like vnto the sunne in thy sight O Lord of all vertues how wonderfull how beautifull how gratefull are the lodgings of thy heauenly mansion my sinfull soule doth exceedingly couet to enter into them O Lord I haue loued the beauty of thy house and the place of the habitation of thy glorie I haue desired of our Lord one thinge and I will aske it of him againe and againe to witâ— that I may dwell in the house of our Lord all my life longe Like as the harte longeth for the fountaines of waters when he iâ— pursued soe doth my soule longe after thee my God When shall I come and appeare before thee When shall I see my God whom my soule doth soe much thirst to behold When shall I see him in the lande of the liuinge for in this lande of the dyinge it is impossible with mortal eies to beholde him What shall I therfore doe poore wretche that I am being subiect to death and corruption What course shall I take As longe as we are in this corruptible bodie we are in respect of thee as strangers and pilgrims in a forraine countrie not hauinge heere any citty or certaine dwellinge but doe seeke for one in time to come because ouâ— habitation is in heauen Alas I esteeme my selfe wretched by reason of my ouer longe slay in this worlde I haue dwelt with the inhabitants of Cedar too longe hath my soule remained heere Who will giue me winges like vnto a doue that I may flie and be at rest Nothing can be to me soe pleasant and good as to be with my Lord. It is good for me to adhere to my God Giue me grace therfore I beseech thee that as loÌ„ge as I liue I may adhere to thee as it is written He that adhereth to our Lord becommeth one spiritt with him Giue me I beseech thee the winges of contemplation by which I may be able to flie vp vnto thee into heauen And for that euery thinge that is euiâ—l doth drawe vs downewarde to sinne vp holde my mynde that it fall not downe to the bottome of the obscure valley of perdition vpholde my minde least by the interposition of the shadowe of earthly thinges it be separated from thee the sonne of iustice and by the darke cloude of secular conuersation it be hindered from looking and lifting vp it selfe to celestiall contemplation For this cause I doe endeuoure to ascende vp to those ioyes of peace and to the deligthfull and quiet state of true light Vpholde my harte with thy holy hande for that without thy help it cannot ascende I doe hasten thither where surpassing greate peace raigneth and where continuall quietnes shineth Guide and conduct my soule and according to thy holy will drawe it vnto thee to the end that vnder thy conducte it may ascende vnto that region of plentie where thou dost feede Israel euerlastingly with the foode of thy veritie that there be it but in thought onely and for neuer soe shorte a time it may touche thee the supreame wisedome remaininge aboue all thinges ouer-going all thinges and gouerninge all thinges But many thinges there be which trouble my soule and hinder it that it cannot soare vp vnto thee Cause them all o Lord by thy commaundement to cease and be silent Let my soule it selfe be silente let it passe beyonde all thinges all thinges I meane created let it mounte aboue it selfe and come to thee Let it fixe the eies of its saith on thee alone the creator of all thinges lett it aspire to thee lett it attende to thee lett it meditate on thee lâ—tt it contemplate on thee lett it sett thee before its eies and thinke vpon thee in its harte who art the true and soueraigne good thinge and that ioy which shall neuer haue end For albeit the contemplations are many wherwith a deuoute soule is by thee wonderfully fedd and refreshed yet is my soule in none of them all soe much delighted and conforted as in thee and as when it doth meditate and contemplate on thee onely O how greate o Lord is the aboundaÌ„ce of thy sweetned how marueilouslie dost thou inspire and visit the hartes of such as loue thee how wonderfull is the delight of thy loue which they feele and enioy who affect and seeke nothinge but thee who desire not soe much as to thinke of any other thing sauing onely thee Happie are they whose hope iâ— in thee alone who wholy addict themselues to prayer and contemplation Happie is he that passeth his life in solitarinesse and silence taking continuall heede night and day to the custodie of his senses that euen in this life during the time of his abode in this fraile fleshe he may be able in some sorte to taste of thy vnspeakeable sweetnes I beseech thee o Lord by those most pretious woundes of thine which on the crosse thou hast suffered for the redemption of mankinde froÌ„ which hath gushed forth that most pretious blood by which we are redeemed wounde my sinfull soule for whom likewise thou hast vouchsafed to dye wounde it with the fierie and forcible darte of thy surpassing greate charitie Because the worde of God is powerful and effectual and more peircing then a two edged sworde Thou therfore o Lord who as a chosen arrowe and most sharpe sworde art able to peirce and passe thoughe the harde target of mans harte pierce my harte with the darte of thy loue that my soule may say I am wounded with thy charitie soe that from the wounde of this thy charitie teares may trickle downe day and night in greate quantitie Strike o Lord strike I most humblie beseeche thee my hard hatred soule with the pious and powerfull speare of thy loue yea peirce it to the very bottome with thy omnâ—poteÌ„t vertue Cause likewise a floude of water to flowe from my heade and a fountainâ— of teares continually to trickle downe from mine eies throughe the exceeding greate affection and desire of beholdinge thy fairnesse in such sorte as that I may weepe continuallie receyuing noe comforte duringe this present life vntill I shall be thought worthie to beholde thee in thy heauâ—nlie house my beloued and most beautifull spouse my God and my Lord
without whō is made nothing Woe is me poore wretche soe often blinded and depriued of sight for that I want thee being the true light Woe is me poore wretche soe often wounded for that I want thee the soueraigne salue by which we are cured Woe is me poore wretche soe often deceiued for that I want thee being the truthe by which we are directed Woe is me poore wretche soe often going astray for that I want thee who art the true way Woe is me poore wretche soe often deade for that I want thee who art the life by whō we are reuiued Woe is me poore wretche soe often brought to nothing because thou art the diuine Worde by whom all thinges are made I want thee without whom nothing is made O Lord God thou diuine Worde who art the light by whom light was made who art the way the truth and the life in whom there is nether darknes error vanitie nor death Thou art the light without which darknes blindeth vs thou art the way without which error deceiueth vs thou art the veritie without which vanitie allureth and deludeth vs thou art the life without which death vanquisheth vs. Say the worde o Lord let light be made that I may see the light and eschewe darkenes that I may see the way and shunne error that I may see the veritie and auoid◠vanitie that I may see life and escape deathe Enlighten me o Lord and my light my light and saluation whom I will feare my Lord whom I will prayse my God whom I will honor my Father whom I will loue my bridegroome to whom and for whom onely I will liue Enlighten me o Lord and my light enlighten me I say thy poore blinde seruant sitting in darknes and in the shadowe of deathe and guide my feete into the way of peace by which I may enter into the place of thy glorious tabernacle euen into the house of God with wordes of exultation and confession For true confession is the way by which we arriue vnto thee the true way by which we leaue wandering out of the true way and returne vnto thee the true way euen the true way of life What it is to become nothing CHAPT V. I will therfore make knowne and confesse my miserie vnto thee o father Lord of heauen and earthe Because I am become wretched and as one turned to nothing and I knewe it not because I wanted thee who art the truth My sinnes wounded me and I felt it not because I wanted thee that art my life They brought me to nothing because I wanted thee who art the Worde by whom all thinges are made without whom nothing is made Being therfore without thee I became nothing because that is nothing that bringeth vs to nothing All thinges that were made were made by thy Worde But how were they made God behelde all thinges he had made and they were exceeding good All thinges therfore that are made are made by the Worde and all thinges that are made by the Worde are exceeding good Whie are they good Because all thinges are made by the Worde and without it is made nothing for that there is nothing good which proceedeth not from God the supreame good Contrarie wise that is euill which containeth in it selfe noe good and this euill is a meere nothing for that euill is nothing els but the want of good euen as blindenes is nothing els but the want of sight Euill therefore is a meere nothing because it is made without the Worde without which there is made nothinge And that is to be accompted euill which wanteth that good by which all thinges whasoeuer are made But those thinges that are not are not made by him and consequentlie they are nothing This therfore is the cause why those thinges are euill which are not made because all thinges whatsoeuer are made are made by the Worde and all thinges that are made by the Worde are good And sithence all thinges that are made are made by the Worde those thinges that are euill are not made by him It remaineth therefore that all thinges that are not made are not good because all thinges that are made are good whēce it followeth that those thinges are euill which are not made and consequentlie are nothing because without the Worde there is made nothing Euill therfore is nothing because it is not made What is it then if it be not made Surelie nothing els but the priuation and want of that good by which good is made Wherfore to be without the Worde is euill which cannot properly be fared to be because without the Worde there is nothing But what is it to be separated from the Worde If you desire to knowe this heare first what the Worde is The diuine worde saieth of himselfe I am the way the truth and the life To be separated therfore frō the Worde is to be without the way the truth and the life therfore to be without him is to be nothing and consequentlye euill because it is separated from the Worde by which all thinges were made exceeding good To be separated therfore from the Worde by which all thinges were made is nothing els but to cease to be and returne to nothing because without the worde there is nothing wherfore as often as thou dost swarue from that which is good thou dost seperate thy selfe from the Worde which is the true good and soe thou becommest nothing because thou art without the Worde without which there is made nothing Beholde o Lord thou hast enlightned me to the end I might beholde thee by which meanes I haue seene and knowen my selfe being now assured that as often as I haue been seperated from thee I haue become nothing because I haue forgotten thee the onely true good and soe by that meanes haue become euill Poore wretche that I am how came it to passe that I did not knowe eare this time that forsaking thee I became nothing But why doe I demaunde that question For how coulde I desire to knowe thee if I was nothing We knowe full well that euill is nothing and that which is nothing hath noe being that likewise which is not good hath noe being because it is nothing If therfore I was nothing when I was without thee I was as nothing and like vnto an image or idoll which is nothing which hath cares and heareth not nostrills and smelleth not which hath eies and seeth not which hath a mouth and speaketh not which hath handes and handeleth not which hath feete and walketh not and finally hath the forme and shape of the members of a man without the vse and feeling of them Of the miserable estate of the soule being in sinne CHAPT VI. AS long therfore as I was without thee I was not for that I was nothing and therfore I was blinde deafe and vnsensible because I did neither discerne what was good not shunne that which was euill neither did I feele the
greife of the woundes which I receiued nor see the darknes in which I liued and the reason was for that I was without thee the true light enlightning euerie man coming into this worlde They haue wounded me alas and I haue not greiued they haue violently drawen me and I haue not felt it because I was nothinge for that I was without life to witt the diuine Worde by which were made all thinges For this cause o Lord and my light mine enimies haue donne to me whatsoeuer they woulde yea they haue striken and stripped me they haue defiled and depraued me they haue wounded and killed me because I departed from thee and became as nothing without thee Woe is me o Lord and my life who hast made me woe is me my light who hast directed me O Lord my God defender of my life take pittie of me and raise me froÌ„ deathe for thou art my hope my strenght my force and my comfort in time of aduersitie beholde mine ennimies and deliuer me Let those that hate me flie before me and lett me liue in thee by thee For they o Lord behelde me and seeing me without thee they haue despised me They haue deuided amonge them the garmeÌ„ts of vertues with which thou hadst adorned me thâ—y haue made as it were theire highe â—ode way passing to and fro ouer me and treading me vnder theire feete they haue defiled thy holy temple leauing me desolate and oppressed with greife I went after them being blinde and naked and intangled in the ropes of sinnes they drewe me rounde about after them from one sinne into an other and from one filthines into an other and I went as one driuen before theÌ„ hauing not the force to withstande them I was a slaue and slauerie was pleasing vnto me I was blinde and blindnes was delightfull vnto me I was bouÌ„de neither did I abhorre my bandes I thought soure to be sweete and sweete to be sower I was wretched and in miserie and I knewe it not And the reason was because I was without the Worde without which was made nothing by which al thinges are preserued without which all thinges returne to nothing For as by him al thinges were made and without him was made nothinge euen soe by him al thinges are preserued that are contained either in heauen or in earthe or in the sea or in the bottomlesse depthe Neither woulde one parte stick to an other in a stone or in any other thinge created if they were not preserued by the Worde by which al thinges were framed Let me therefore stick adhere to thee o diuine Worde for that as often as I haue wandered away from thee I should haue withered away in my selfe if thou who didst first create me hadst not recreated me I haue sinned and thou hast visited me I haue fallen and thou hast raised me I haue been ignorant thou hast taught me I haue been blinde and thou hast enlightned me Of the manifolde benefits of almightie God CHAPT VII O My God graunt that I vnworthy wretch may see how much I am bounde to loue thee Graunt that I may see how I am bounde to praise thee GrauÌ„t that I may see how much I am bounde to please thee Thunder o Lord from aboue with a greate and stronge voice into the internall care of my harte teache me and saue me and I will praise thee who when I was nothing hast created me who when I I was in darknes hast enlightned me who when I was deade hast raised me who with all manner of good thinges from my very youthe hast fed and refreshed me nourishing me with thy greatest guiftes and graces being a poore vnprofitable worme stinking through the abomination of mine iniquities Open vnto me o key of Dauid who openest and noe man shutteth against him to whom thou openest who shutteth and noe man openeth to him against whom thou shuttest open vnto me the doore of thy light that I may enter in and see and knowe and with my whole hart confesse vnto thee for that thy mercy towardes me is greate and thou hast deliuered my soule from the lowest hell O Lord our God how wonderfull and worthy to be praised is thy name in the whole worlde What is man o Lord that thou art mindfull of him or the sonne of man that thou visitest him O Lord the hope of good men and theire towne of defense O God the life of my soule by which I liue without which I dy O light of mine eies by which I see without which I am blinde O ioy of mine harte and comfort of my soule graunt that I may loue thee with all my harte and with all my minde and with all the force and strenght that I haue because thou hast loued me first And whence hapneth this vnto me o Creator of heauâ—n earthe and of the bottomlesse depthe who needest not my goodes Whence hapneth this vnto me that thou shouldest in this sorte loue me O diuine wisedome who openest the mouthes of those that are dumbe O diuine Worde by which all thinges were made Open my mouth giue me wordes of thanksgiuinge that I may rehearse all the benefitts which thou hast bestowed vpon me from the beginning Beholde I confesse therefore to haue receiued my being from thee because thou hast created me and hast preordained to create me and to nomber me amonge thy creatures from all eternitie yea from the beginning and before thou madest any thinge before thou didst extende the heauens before the bottomeles depthes had theire being before the worlde was fram d before the mountaines or hills were founded before riuers flowed before thou didst make any of those thinges which thou hast made by thy worde thou didst foresee by the infallible prouidence of thy truth that I should be thy creature preordaining soe of me by thy diuine pleasure What hath caused thee to doe this for me o most louing Lord most glorious God most mercifull Father most powerfull and for euer most pittifull creator What meritts of mine what grace did deserue the same that it should please thy diuine maiesty soe gratiously to create me Thou hast created me when I had noe being and of nothing thou hast made me something But what something Surely not water nor fire not a foule or a fish not a serpent or any bruite beaste not a stone or a peace of timber not of those kinde of creatures which haue nothing els but theire being noâ— of those which be and growe onely Not of that sorte which be growe and haue feeling onely but surpassing all these it hath pleased thee to make me of the nomber of those which be onely for that I am and of the nomber of those which be and growe onely for that I am and doe growe and of the nomber of those which be doe growe and haue feeling because I am doe growe and haue feeling yea thou hast created me almost equall to the Angells because
nowe o Lord Iesu thine accustomed mercies Wilt thou be displeased with me alwaies Be appeased I beseeche thee and take pittie of me and turne not away thy louinge face from me who to redeeme me hast not turned away thy face from those that did â—â—ocke and spit vpon thee I confesse that I haue sinned and my conscience doth adiudge me worthy of damnation neither is my pennance sufficient to make satisfaction neuerthelesse it is a thinge infallible that thy mercie doth surmount all offence whatsoeuer be it neuer soe abominable Wherefore o most mercifull Lord I beseeche thee doe not write any malitious bitternes against me neither enter into iudgment with thy seruant but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out mine iniquities Woe be to me at the day of iudgment when the bookes of our consciences shal be opened wherein our actions are registred when of me it shall openly be proclaimed See heere the man and his deedes committed What shall I doe o Lord my God at that dreadfull day when the heauens shall reueale mine iniquitie and the earthe shall beare witnes against me Verilie I shall be mute and able to say nothinge but holding downe mine head through shame and confusion I shall stande before thee shaking and blushing Alas what shall I say I will call and crie vnto thee o Lord my God Why am I consumed being silent Neuerthelesse if I speake my greife will not cease and if I holde my peace I shall inwardlie be tormented with vnspeakeable bitternes Weepe o my soule and make lamentation as a younge married woman for the deathe of her newe married husbande weepe and bewaile thy miserie for that thy bridegroome which is Christ hath forsaken thee O anger of the almightie rushe not vpon me because thou canst not be contained in me verily there is nothing in me that is able to sustaine thee Take pittie of me loast I despaire of thy mercie that by despairing of my selfe I may finde comforte in thee And albeit I haue donne that for which thou maiest iustly condemne me yet thou hast not lost thy accustomed propertie of shewing mercie and pittie Thou o Lord dost not desire the death of sinners neither dost thou take pleasure in the perdition of those that die nay rather that those that were deade might 〈◊〉 thou thy selfe hast died and thy death hath beene the death of that death that was due to sinners And if thou dying they haue â—iued graâ—nt o Lord I beseeche thee that thou living I may not die Let thy heauenly hande help me and deliuer me from the handes of those that hate me lâ—ast they insult reioyce ouer me saying we haue deuouted him Howe is it possible o good Iesu that euer any one can despaiâ—e of thy mercie who when we were thine enimies hast redeemed vs with thy pretious blood and hast reconciled vs to God Beholde o Lord protected with the shadowe of thy mercie I runne crauing pardon to the throne of thy glorie calling and knocking vntill thou take pittie of me For if thou hast called vs to pardon euen when we did not seeke it by how much more shall we obtaine pardon if we aske it Remember not thy iustice o most sweete Iesu towardes me a sinner but be mindeful of thy meeknes towards me thy creature Remember not thine anger towardes me guilty but be mindefull of thy mercie towardes me in miserie Forgett my pride prouoking thee to displeasure and weigh my wretchednes imploring thy fauoure For what doth thy sacred name Iesu signifie sauing onely a Sauiour Wherfore o Sauioure Iesu be thou my succoure and protection say vnto my soule I am thy saluation I doe presume very muche of thy diuine bountie because thou thy selfe dost teache vs to aske seeke and knocke at the dore of thy mercie Wherfore I doe aske seeke and knocke at thy dore as by thy wordes thou hast admonished me to doe Thou therfore o Lord that willest me to aske graunt that I may receiue Thou that dost couÌ„sell me to seeke graunt me likewise to finde Thou that dost teach me to knock open vnto me knockinge at the dore of thy mercie Recouer me being diseased repaire me being crased raise me being deade Vouchsafe likewise soe to direct and gouerne all my senses thoughtes and actions in that which is pleasing vnto thee that from hence forth I may faithfullie serue thee I may liue and giue my selfe wholy vnto thee I knowe o Lord that by reason thou hast made me I doe owe my selfe vnto thee and by reason thou hast redeemed me and hast been made man for me I doe owe if I had it to giue thee much more then my self vnto thee by how much greater then me thou art who hast giuen thy selfe for me Beholde I hau nothing els to giue thee neither can I giue thee this without thee take me therefore and drawe me vnto thee that I may be thine by imitation and affection like as I am by condition and creation Who liuest and raignest world without end Amen A profitable Prayer CHAPT XL. O Lord God almightie who art Trinitie in vnitie who art alwaies in al thinges and wert before all thinges and wilt be in all thinges euerlastingly one blessed God during all eternitie To thee this day and all the dayes of my life I coÌ„mende my soule my bodie my seeing hearing taste smelling and touchinge all my cogitations affections wordes and actions all thinges that I haue without within me my sense and vnderstanding my memorie faith and beleife and my constancie in well doinge all these I commende into the handes of thy powerfull protection to the end that all the nightes and daies howers and moments of my life thou wilt vouchsafe to preserue them Heare me o sacred Trinitie and preserue me from all euill from all scandall from all offence mortall from all the deceiptes and vexations of the diuell and of mine ennimies visible and inuisible by the prayers of the Patriarchs by the meritts of the Prophets by the suffrages of the Apostles by the constancie of Martyrs by the faith of CoÌ„fessors by the chastity of Virgins and by the intercession of al those Saints and holy men that haue pleased and faithfullie serued thee since the worlde began roote out of my hart all vaine glorious ostentation and increase in me the spiritt of compunction appease my pride and make perfect my humilitie Stirre me vp to teares and contrition and mollifie my hart being as harde as a stone Deliuer me o Lord and my soule from all the snares of my ghostlie enimie and preserue me in the performance of that which is most pleasing vnto thee Teache me to doe thy will o Lord because thou art my God Giue me o Lord a perfect sense and intelligence wherâ—by I may be able to knowe and acknowledge thy maruailous greate kindenesse Graunt that my petitions may be such as that they may be pleasing to thee and profitable to my selfe â—raunt
whole desire o Lord is in thy sight and whatsoeuer my conscience doth attempt to doe that is praise worthy I acknowledge that it proceedeth wholy from thee If that o Lord be good which thou dost inspire yea it is good indeede because it is to loue thee graunt that I may doe that which thou dost cause me to desire Graunt that I may loue thee asmuche as thou dost require Beholde I offer thee praises and thankes-giuing lett not this guift of thine be vnprofitable vnto me o Lord which thou hast begunne and graunt me that which thou hast caused me to desire by preuenting me with thy gratious inspiration Transforme most sweete Sauiour my repiditie into a most feruent loue of thee For the onely thingâ— that I desire to attaine vnto most louing Lord by this my prayer and memorie of thy passion is that I may be able to loue thee with a most ardent affection Thy goodnes o Lord hath created me thy mercy after my creation hath cleansed me from originall sinne thy patience after baptisme hath hitherto sustained nourished and expected me being defiled with many other sinnes Thou o good Lord dost expect when I will growe better and my soule that it may be able to doe pennance and to iiue well doth expect the inspiration of thy gratious fauoure O my God who hast created me who dost patientlie sustaine and louingly maintaine me I hunger and thirst after thee I desire sighe and couet to come to thee And as a poore distressed childe depriued of the presence of his tender harted father doth with sighes sobbes incessantlye embrace in his harte the image and semblance of his fauoure soe fareth it with me as often as I call to minde thy bitter Passion which albeit it be not as much as I ought yet it is as muche as I am able when I call to minde likewise the buffetts and whipps by thee sustained the greiuous woundes by thee endured wheÌ„ I remember in what cruell manner thou hast been crucified and killed in what manner thou hast by thy deare freindes beene embaulmed and buried as often likewise as thy glorious Resurrection and and admirable Ascension doe occure to mine imagination All these thinges I beleiue most firmely lamenting with teares the calamities of my exile in this vale of miserie my onely hope is the comforte of thy comminge my cheife desire is to beholde thee face to face in thy heauenly habitation I cannot but greiue for that I haue not scene the Lord of Angells debasing himselfe to conuerse and liue amongst men that by that meanes he might exalt men to Angelicall conuersation when God did die who was offended that man might liue who had offended I cannot but greiue for that I haue not deserued to be present and to be astonished through admiration of a worke of soe wonderfull and vnspeakeable compassion Howe is it o my soule that the sworde of most sharpe sorrowe doth not peirce thee to the harte seing thou could'st not be present to see the side of thy Sauiour wounded with a speare seing thou couldst not be present to see the feete and handes of thy maker to be fastned with nayles nor the blood of thy redeemer to be spilt on the grounde in that dreadefull manner Why art thou not drunke with the bitternes of teares seeing he was made to drinke of the bitternes of gall Why dost thou not take compassion of the most chaste Virgin Marie his most worthy mother and thy most worthy Ladie O my most merciful Lady what fountaines of teares may I affirme to haue flowed from thy most chast eies when thou beheldst thy onely sonne albeit free from all offence to be bounde whipt and slaine in thy presence In what mournefull manner may I imagin thy dolefull countenance at that time to be blubbered all ouer with weeping when thou beheldst this thy innocent sonne thy God and thy Lord to be stretched out vppon the crosse and that sacred fleshe framed of thy fleshe to be by those bloodie boucheâ—s soe cruellie rent in peices With what vnspeakeable greife may I well thinke thy poore harte at that time to be tormented when thou didst heare those wordes pronounced Woman behold thy sonne And the disciple Beholde thy mother When thou didst accept the disciple insteed of his maister and the seruant in lieue of his Lord O that I had beene worthy with S. Ioseph to haue taken my Lord downe from the Crosse to haue embaulmed and buried him to haue followed or accompanied him to his sepulcher that I might haue doÌ„ne some little seruice at soe greate a funeral O that I had with the three blessed Maries been striken into amazednes through the bright vision of the Angells and had heard newes of our Lords Resurrection newes of my consolation newes soe muche expected and desired O that I had hearde I say from the mouthe of the Angell doe you not feare you seeke Iesus that was crucified he is not heere O most courteous most sweete and most gratious Iesu when wilt thou cure me of my sorrowe and pensiuenes for that I haue not seene the incorruption of of thy blessed fleshe For that I haue not kissed the places where thou wert wounded the places which the naâ—les had peiâ—ced For that I haue not bedewed with teares of ioy the scarrs of thy true bodie O admirable inestimable and incomparable Lord and Sauiour when wilt thou comforte and cure me of the greife which I endure Because my sorrowe will neuer cease to afflict me as loÌ„g as I liuet o Lord seperated from thee Take pittie of me o Lord take pittie of my soule Thou hast departed o Lord without bidding me farewell Beginninge to mounte vp into heauen thou hast blessed thy freindes there assembled and I was not present to see it Lifting vp thy handes thou hast beene receiued by a cloude into heauen and I was not present to beholde it The Angells haue promised that thou wouldest returne and I did not heare it What shall I say What shall I doe Whither shall I goe Where shall I seeke him and when shall I finde him Of whom shall I aske for him Who will tell my beloued how muche I loue him The delight of my harte is changed into desolation my laughter in lameÌ„tation My fleshe and my harte haue failed me o God of my harte and mine inheritance euerlastinglie My soule hath refused all other comforte and consolation o God my sweete delight sauing that which proceedeth from thee alone For what haue I in heauen or what doe I desire vpon earth sauing thee alone I couet after thee my trust is in thee I seeke after thee My hart hath saied to thee I haue sought thy face thy face o Lord will I seeke turne not a way thy face from me O most gratious louer of men thou art the protector of the poore thou art a friende to suche as are depriued of father and mother O most assured Aduocate take pittie
in them contained Enlighten mine eies o incomprehensible light sende forth thy lightning and dazell theÌ„ that they may not beholde vanitie Encreâ—se thy lightning and dazell and trouble them in that manner as that fountaines of water may appeare and the foundations of the whole worlde may be discouered O light inuisible giue me that sight that may see thee O sauoure of life create in me a newe smell which may make me runne after thee in the odoure of thy oyntments Cure my taste that it may taste knowe and discerne how greaâ—e the multitude of thy sweetnes is o Lord which thou hast kept in store for theÌ„ that are replenished with thy loue Giue me a harte o Lord that may thinke on thee a minde that may loue thee a memorie that may muse on thee an vnderstanding that may knowe thee a will that may alwaies be strongly vnited to thee the cheifest and most delightfull good Graunt that I may alwaies wisely and discreetely loue thee O life to whom all thinges liue that life which giueth me life that life which is my life that life by which I liue without which I die that life by which I am raysed and reuiued without which I perishe and am consumed that life by which I am coÌ„forted without which I am afflicted O liuing life sweete and worthy to be beloued alwaies to be remembred tell me I pray thee where art thou Where may I finde thee to the end I may leaue my selfe and liue in thee Be neere vnto me in my minde neere in my harte neere iâ— my mouthe neere in my hearing neere to succoure me in time of affliction because I languishe through thy loue because I die whensoeuer I am without thee and am raysed againe to life by thinking on thee Thy smell recreateth me thy remembrance healeth me Then shall I be satisfied and neuer before when thy glorie o life of my soule shall appeare My soule greatelie desireth and almost fainteth throughe the remembrance of thee when shall I come o my delight and be presented before thee Why dost thou hide away thy face o my ioy by which I reioyce Where art thou hidden o beautifull Lord Whom I soe much desire I smell the sweete sauoure of thee I liue and am delighted in thee and yet I doe not see thee I heare thy voyce and am reuiued But why dost thou hide thy face from me Peraduenture thou wilt say Man cannot see me and liue Let me therefore die o Lord that I may see thee let me see thee that I may die to the worlde I doe not desire to liue but to die for that my desire is to be dissolued and to be with Christ I desire to die that I may see Christ I refuse to liuâ— to the end I may liue with Christ O Lord Iesu receiue my spirit o my life receiue my soule O my delight drawe my harte vnto thee O my delightfull foode let me feede on thee O my heade vouchsafe to direct me o light of mine eies enlighten me O my melodious musique tune and order me O my sweete smell reuiue me O diuine Worde recreate me O my praise make gladde the soule of thy seruant Enter into it o my ioy that it may reioyce in thee Enter into it o soueraigne sweetnes that it may taste and sauoure those thinges that are sweete O eternall light shine vppon it that it may vnderstande knowe and loue thee For this iâ— the cause why it doth not loue thee if it doth not loue thee because it doth not knowe thee and the cause why it doth not knowe thee is for that it doth not vnderstande thee And the cause why it doth not vnderstande thee is for that it doth not comprehende thy light and the light shineth in darknes and the darknâ—s comprehendeth it not O light of my mâ—nde o bright truthe o true charitie who enlightnest euery man comminge into this worâ—dâ—e comminge I say into the wor'd but not louinge the worlde because he that loueth the worlde becommeth the ennimy of God Expell the darkenes which couereth the face of the depth of my minde that by vnderstanding it may see thee that by seinge it may knowe thee and by knowing may loue thee For whosoeuer knoweth thee loueth thee and forgetteth himselfe he loueth thee more then himselfe he leaueth himselfe and commeth to thee that he may be delighted in thee Hence it proceedeth o Lord that I doe not loue thee soe much as I ought because I doe not perfectlie knowe thee but because I knowe thee but a little I loue thee but a little and because I loue thee but a little I am but a little delighted in thee Leauing thee therfore the true internall ioy by louing thinges externall aslong as I wante thee onely I seeke after false freindshipps in those thinges that are without me And by this meanes I haue applied my harte to thinges that are vaine which with all affection and loue I ought to haue bestowed on thee alone And soe by louing vanitie I my selfe am become vaine Hence it proceedeth likewise o Lord that I doe not reioyce in thee neither doe I adhere to thee Because I delight in thinges temporall thou in thinges spirituall my whole minde thoughtes and wordes are entangled in thinges transitorie but thou o Lord dwellest in thinges that endure for all eternitie thou thy selfe being eternitie Thy habitation is in heauen mine on the earthe Thou louest those thinges that are aboue I those that are heere beneathe Thou those that are heauenly I those that are earthly And when will these thinges agree together that are soe opposite one to an other Of the miserie and frailtie of man CHAPT II. WRetche that I am when will my crowkednes be made correspondent to thy righteousnes Thou o Lord louest solitarines I to be in the companie of others Thou louest silence and I talkinge and discourse Thou louest veritie and I vanitie Thou louest cleanlines and I followe mine owne filthines What neede I say more o Lord Thou art truly good I wicked Thou art righteous I vnrighteous thou art holy I wretched thou arti ust I vniust thou art light and I am blinde thou art life and I am deade Thou art phisique and I am sicke Thou art mirthe and I am melancholy Thou art the supreame veritie and I am altogether vanitie like as euerie man liuing What shall I then say o my Creator Heare me o Creator I am thy creature I haue beene forelorne and gone astray I am thy creature and am like to die I am of thy making and am come to nothinge I am a peece of earthe framed by thee Thy handes o Lord haue made me and fashioned me those handes I say which with nayles were fastned to the crosse for me Looke I beseeche thee o Lord vpon the woundes of thy handes and contemne not me the worke of thy handes Beholde o Lord my God thou hast writteÌ„ me in thy handes reade that
forme and thou hast giuen me corage to contemne him The tempter came as an armed souldier with greate puissance and power and thou hast fortified me and enfeebled him to the end he might not vanquishe me The tempter came being transformed into an Angell of light and to the end he might not deceiue me thou hast rebuked him and giuen me light that I might knowe him This is that feirce and fiery Dragon the old serpent which is commonly called the Diuell and Satan hauing seuen heades and ten hornes whom thou hast created to be deluded in the wide and spatious sea of this tempestuous worlde in which there are infinite multitudes of creatures that creepe and of beastes both small and greate that is diuerse sortes of diuells who day and night doe nothing els but range about seeking whom they many deuoure if thou deliuer vs not from theire power This is that old Dragon who in Paradise had his beginning who with his taile casteth downe to the grounde the thirde parte of the starrs of heauen who poisonneth the waters of the world with his venime that men may die by drinking of them who trampleth vpon golde as if it were durte or mire hauing a confidence that the riuer Iordan that is righteous and religious men will flowe likewise into his mouthe being of that wonderfull strength and power as that he feareth noe man whatsoeuer And who then shall defende vs from his biting and stinging Who but thee o Lord can kepe vs from being deuoured by him who hast broken the heades of the greate Dragon Stretche forthe o Lord we beseeche thee the winges of thy mercy ouer vs that we may flie vnder them from the face of this Dragon that doth persecute vs and saue vs from his hornes with the shielde of thy defence Because the onely thing that he doth and hath alwaies desired is to deuoure the soules which thou hast created Wherfore o Lord our God we cry to thee beseeching thee to deliuer vs from our dayly aduersarie who whether we sleepe or wake eate or drinke or whatsoeuer we doe els ceaseth not by all meanes day and night by his deceiptes and cunning deuises sometimes openly somtimes secretlye to shoote his poisoned arrowes at vs that he may kill and murther our soules And yet o Lord behold our madnes for that albeit we see this Dragon comminge against vs with open mouthe readie to deuoure vs yett we sleepe and play the wantons lasciuiouslie in our lasines as if we were secure in his presence that desireth nothing els but to destroy vs. Our ennimie alwaies watcheth without sleepe that he may slay our soules and we will not awake from sleepe that we may saue our selues Beholde he hath laied infinite snares before our feete and hath filled all our waies with many pitfalls and ginnes therby to entrapppe our soules and who shal be able to escape them He hath laied snares in riches he hath laied snares in pouertie he hath laied snares in meate in drinke in recreation in sleepe and in watching he hath laied snares in our wordes and in our workes in all our waies Wherfore we beseeche thee o Lord to deliuer vs froÌ„ the snares of these Huntsmen and from sharpe and bitter wordes that we may confesse vnto thee saying Blessed be our Lord who hath not giuen vs as a prey vnto theire teethe Our soule â—â—scaped euen as a sparrowe out of the snare of the fouler The snare is broken and we are deliuered That God is the light of the iust CHAPT XVII ENlighten mine eies o my Lord and my light that I may see light and walke in thy light and escape from falling into his snares For who is able to escape those his manifolde snares vnlesse he see them And who is able to see them if thou with thy light doe not enlighten him Because he being the father of darkenes doth hide his snares in darknes that all those may be taken in them that are in darknes to witt the children of darknes who are depriued of thy light in which whosoeuer walketh shall not feare Because whosoeuer walketh in the day time stumbleth not but he that walketh in the night season falleth and hurteth himselfe because the light is not in him Thou o Lord art the light thou art the light of the children of light thou art the day that knoweth noe sunn-setting in which thy children doe walke without stâ—â—bling and without which all they that walke are in darknes for that they want thee the light of the worlde to direct them Beholde we dayly see that the farther of any one is from thee the true light the more he is ouerwhelmed with the darknes of sinne the more he is in darknes the lesse he seeth the snares that are sett in his way and consequentlie knoweth them the lesse by which meanes he is drawen and falleth more frequentlie into them and yet knoweth not that he is fallen which is a thing that aboue others shoulde cause vs to detest sinne For he that knoweth not that he is fallen is by soe much the lesse carefull to arise by how much the more he thinketh himselfe to stande Now therfore o Lord my God who art the light of my minde enlighten mine eies that I may see and knowe to the end I may not fall in the sight of mine aduersaries For our aduersarie the Diuell laboureth vtterly to destroy vs whom we desire thou wilt cause to be consumed before our face euer as waxe is consumed before the face of the fire Because he o Lord is the first and last robber who conspired to bereaue thee of thy glory who being swollen and puffed vp with pride burst and fell on his face whom thou hast throwne downe headlong from thy holy hill and from amidst those fiery stones amongst which he walked And now o Lord my God and my life since the time he hath fallen he ceaseth not to persecute thy childreÌ„ And through the hatred he hath against thee o king of infinite puissance he desireth to destroy this creature of thine whom thy omnipotent goodnes hath created according to thine owne image to possesse that glory which he hath lost by his pride and insolencie But thou o Lord that art our force and fortresse bruise crushe him in peeces that he may not deuoure vs thy lambes and enlighten vs with thy grace that we may see the snares which he hath laied to entrappe vs and may escape to thee o joi of israel All these thinges thou knowest o Lord better then we who knowest his enmitie and despite against vs and his obdurate obstinacie Neither doe I say this as one that woulde informe thee for that thou seest all thinges soe that our least thoughtes are not hidden from thee but before the feete of thy maiestie o eternall Iudge I complaine against mine aduersarie to the end thou maiest damne him and saue vs thy children whose force doth depeÌ„de of thee Verily this
shine o loue which dost alwaies burne o sweete Christ o good Iesu the eternall and neuer failing light the breade of life who dost feede vs with thy selfe without hurte to thy selfe who art daylie eaten and yet art alwaies whole without being broken I beseeche thee o Lord to shine vppon me and to enflame me Enlighten and sanctifie me thy vessell cleanse me from malice fill me and preserue me full of thy grace that to the good of my soule I may eate the foode of thy fleshe to the end that by eating thee I may liue of thee I may liue by thee I may come to thee and repose in thee Of the ioy which the soule receiuâ—th by receiuing Christ CHAPT XII O Lord the sweetnes of loue and the loue of sweetnes Be thou my foode and let all my bowelles be filled with the delitious drinke of thy loue to the end that all my wordes and cogitations may be good and tending to edification Make me o Lord and my loue to encrease in thee that thou mayest be eaten by me worthily who art more sweete then honie more white then snowe the foode of suche as growe greate in vertue Thou art my life by which I liue my hope to which I adhere my glory which I desire to obtaine Possesse thou my hart gouerne mine intention direct mine vnderstanding lift vp my loue eleuate my minde and draw the mouthe of my soule thirsting after thee to the waters of life euerlasting Let all tumultuous thoughtes and carnall cogitations I beseeche thee holde theire peace Let all phantasies of the earth and waters of the ayre and heauens keepe silence Let all dreames and imaginarie reuelations all tongues and tokens keepe silence briefly let all thinges holde theire peace that are donne in this vale of miserie being all of them short and soone passing away Let my soule in like sorte be silent and not speake a worde let it leaue it selfe by not thinking of it selfe but of thee o my God for that thou art my true and onely hope and my whole confidence Because a parte of each one of vs as the blood and flesh is founde in thee o Lord our God in thee I say o most sweete most gratious and most milde Iesu Where therfore parte of me doth raigne there I belieue likewise to haue dominion and where my blood doth dominere there I trust to haue principalitie and power Where my fleshe is glorified there I knowe my selfe to be renowned Although I am a sinner yet I doe not despaire to be pertaker of this grace and fauoure although my sinnes doe hinder it yet my substance doth require it Although my faultes and defectes doe exclude me yet my humaine nature which is common to me with Christ doth not repell me That the Worde incarnate is the cause of our hope CHAPT XIII DOubtles God is not soe cruell as not to loue his owne fleshe members and bowells I should certainely despaire by reason of the manifolde sinnes and vices faultes and negligences which I haue committed and doe dailie and continuallie commit in thought worde and deede and by all manner of meanes by which humaine frailtie is able to offend were it not that thy diuine Worde o my God had beene made fleshe and dwelt in vs. But now I dare not despaire because he being obedient vnto thee vntil deathe euen the deathe of the Crosse hath taken our handewrittinge or obligation wherein we stoode bounde as slaues to the Diuell by sinne and fastning it to the Crosse hath crucified both sin and deathe In him I securely breathe who sitteth at thy right hande and maketh intercession for vs. Trusting therefore in his bountie I desire to come to thee in whom we are already risen againe from the deade and are reuiued with whom we haue alreadie ascended into heauen and sit with him in glorie in that happie region To thee therfore o heauenly Father be all praise glory honor and thanks-giuinge HOw the more we are addicted to diuine contemplation the greater delight we take therein CHAT XIV How sweete is the remembrance of thee vnto vs o most louing Lord who hast soe dearelie loued and saued vs who hast soe wonderfullie reuiued and exalted vs. The more I meditare of thee o most mercifull Lord the more sweete and amiable thou art vnto me And for that thy goodnes doth exceedinglie delight me I purpose as long as I liue in the place of this pilgrimage to desire and contemplate without ceasing thy wonderfull loue vnspeakeable beautie with apure intention and with a most sweete and louinge affection Because I am wounded with the darte of thy charitie I am wonderfullie enflamed with the desire of thee coueâ—ing to come to thee to see thee Wherfore I will stande vppon my guarde and will singe in spirit with watchfull eies yea I wil singe with my minde and with all my forces I will praise thee my creator and redeemer I will peâ—rce the heauens by deuotion and feruoure and will remaine with thee by a feruent desire that being detained in this present miserie with my bodie only I may in thought and affection be continuallie with thee to the end my hart may be there where thou art my desired incomparable and most beloued treasure But alas o Lord my hart is not sufficient to conteÌ„plate the glorie of thy great goodnes and pittie for that thou art a God of infinite meekenes and mercie verily thy praise thy beautie thy vertue thy glorie thy magnificence thy maiestie and thy charitie doth farre surpasse the capacitie of any mortall memorie For euen as the brightnes of thy glorie is inestimable soe likewise the largenes of thy charitie is vnspeakeable whereby thou dost adopt those to be thy children and vnite them vnto thee by loue and affection whom thou hast created of nothinge How for Christs sake we ought to wishe for tribulations in this life CHAT XV. O My soule if it were necessary daylie to suffer torments yea to endure hell it selfe for a longe time together that we might see Christ in 〈◊〉 glorie and be ioyned in felowship with the Saintes in his heauenly cittie were it not meete thinkest thou to sustaine all manner of miserie that we might be made pertakes of soe greate a good and of soe greate felicitie Let the diuells therfore endeuoure as much as they will to entrap me and by tentatious to deceiue me let longe fastinge weaken my bodie and course cloathing subdue my fleshe let trauaile trouble me and watching drie me vp to nothinge let others exclaime against me let this or that man disquiet and molest me let colde make me crooked let my conscience murmure against me let heate scorche me let my bodie be grieued my breast enflamed my stomacke puffed vp with winde my countenance wanne and withered let me be wholie afflicted with sicknes let my life consume away in sadnes and my yeares in sighes and sorrowfullnes let rottennes enter into my bones and
handewriting and saue me Behold I sigh to thee being thy creature recreate me being my Creator Beholde I whom thou hast made doe crie vnto thee thou that art life reuiue me Beholde I looke towardes thee being a peece of clay framed by thee thou art my maker repaire me Pardon me o Lord for that the dayes of my life are short and as it were nothinge What is man that he durst speake to God that made him Pardon me talking vnto thee Pardon thy seruant presuming to speake vnto soe greate a Lord. Necessiâ—ie hath noe lawe My greife compelleth me to speake the miseâ—ie which I sustaine constraineth me to crie vnto the. Beeing therfore sicke I crie vnto the phisition being blinde I hasten vnto the â—ight being deade I sighe after life Thou art my phisition o Iesus of Nazareth thou art my light thou art my life O Sonne of Dauid take pittie vppon me o fountaine of mercie be mercifull vnto me Heare what thy sicke patient saieth vnto thee O light which passest by expect him that is blinde lende him thy hande that he may come vnto thee and in thy light may see light O liuing life recall me that am deade to life What am I that doe speake vnto thee Woe be to me o Lord pardon me o Lord I am an vnhappie man A man I say borne of a woman liuinge but a short time replenished with many miseries a man I say become like vnto vanitie compared and very well likened vnto senslesse bruite beastes Againe what am I An obscure bottomelesse pitt a clodd of clay the sonne of anger and perdition begotten in filthines liuing in wretchednes and being to die in great anguish and distresse O wretche what am I O miserable man what shall I be A vessel of ordure and filthines a receptacle of rottennes full of stenche and loathsomenes blinde needie naked subiect to manifolde necessities subiect to miserie and mortalitie knowing neither my beginning nor my dyinge day Whose dayes and life passe and vanish away as the shadow of the Moone And as the blossomes of a tree growe and sodainely wither away soe doth the life of man now flowrishe and forthwith growe to decay My life I say is a life fraile and brittle a life which by how much the more it encreaseth by soe much the more it decreaseth by how much the more it hastneth on by soe much the more it draweth neere to deathe a life deceiptful like vnto a shadowe One while I am merrie and gladde and presentlie after sorrowefull and sadde Sometime sounde and then sodainely sicke now a liue and in a shorte time after I shal be deade sometimes I make a shew as if I were happie yet still in miserie sometimes I laughe and sodainely after I lament And all thinges are soe subiect to mutation as that nothing can be truly saied to remaine stable in the same state one onely hower of time Sometimes feare afflicteth vs at other times some sodaine chance affrighteth vs sometimes hunger vexeth vs at other times thirst tormenteth vs sometimes heate parcheth vs at other times colde pincheth vs sometimes sicknes molesteth vs at other times sadnes dâ—iâ—cteth vs. After these followeth deathe before he is expected bereauing wretched men by a thousande meanes dayly of theire liues and taking them on a sodaine before they be prepared One dieth of a feauer an other throughe sorrowe one fainteth and falleth downe deade through hunger an other through thirst one is drowned an other hanged one is burned an other with the teethe of wilde beastes is torne in pceces and deuoured One is slaine with the sworde an other poysoned an other dieth being by some soddaine accident onely affrighted And yet a greater miserie then all these is that albeit nothing is more certaine then deathe yet man knoweth not the time of his deathe and when he thinketh to stande most firme he is ouerthrowne and all his hopes come to nothinge Because man knoweth not when nor where nor how he shall die althoughe it be a thinge assured that he must die Beholde o Lord how greate mans miserie is in which I am and yet I am voide of feare Beholde how greate the calamitie is which I sustaine and yet I am voide of sorrowe and doe not crie to thee I will crie vnto thee o Lord before I passe out of this life to the end my passage may be nothing els but to remaine perpetuallie with thee I will therfore make knowne and discouer my wretchednes I will confesse and will not be ashamed to disclose my vildenes Helpe me o my force by whom I am vphelde succoure me o my strength by whom I sustained come o light by which I see appeare o glorie by which I reioyce apppeare o life in which I may liue eternallie blessed cuen thou o Lord my God Of the admirable light of God CHAPT III. O Light which ould Tobias being blinde did see when he taught his sonne the way of life That light which Isaac albeit his corporall eies failled him sawe within him when outwardlye he foretolde to this sonne thinges that were to come That inuisible light I say that seethe plainely the vnspeakeable depthe of mans harte That light which lacob did see when he prophesied of fuâ—uâ—e euents to his children according to that which thou didst inwardly dictate vnto him Beholde o Lord darknes doth ouershadowe the face of the bottomlesse depth of my minde thou art light Beholde an obscure mist doth ouerwhelme the waters of my harte thou art the truthe O Worde by which all thinges were made and without which was made nothing That Worde which is before all thinges and before which there was nothinge That Worde which gouerneth all thinges without which all thinges are nothing That Worde which in the beginning hast saied Let light be made and it was donne Say likewise to me let light be made and let it be donne and let me see the light and knowe whatsoeuer is not light because without thee darknes wil be vnto me as light and light as darknesse And soe without thy light there is noe veritie there is nothing els but errour and vanitie there is confusion and noe discretion there is ignorance and noe knowledge blindenes and noe seeing going astray and noe walking in the right way deathe and noe life Of the mortalitie of mans nature CHAPT IV. BEholde o Lord where light is absent there deathe is present nay deathe is not there present because deathe is meerelie nothinge For by deathe we tende to nothinge whilst by sinne we feare to doe nothing And truly o Lord this iustlie hapneth vnto vs for we receiue according to our actions whiles like a flowinge riuer we runne and come to nothinge because without thee there is made nothing and we by doing nothing come to be nothinge For without thee we are nothing by whom all thinges are made without whom there is made nothing O Lord God thou diuine Worde by whom all thinges are made