for the bruite beasts and cattell that worke vnder vs to whom we giue rest and ease from labour vpon the Sabbath if we cause them not to Sanctifie the day of Rest in which they shall differ from all other not onely Beasts but Men. And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the Postes of their houses and vpon their Gates Whereby all vnder gouernment were taught what should be required of them so long as they liued in those houses namely to serue God and all gouernours were taught what specially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates and liued vnder the roofe of their houses euen to serue the Lord in all parts of his worship for which end he hath giuen them such authoritié ouer them According to which Commandément the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshua made this protestation before all the Elders of Israel a little before his death exhorting them to do the like I and mine house will serue the Lord promising not onely for himselfe but for all his which though it was too hard to do yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe which also God would blesse as all godly exhortations admonitions and chastisements whereby if they did not profit he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house and to rid himselfe of them all which he was purposed to put in practise therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues and may attaine vnto The like whereof Dauid speaketh of himselfe in that worthie Psalme 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by wherein he sheweth how he would rule not onely himselfe but his household nay the whole kingdome by hauing an eye to them that were good to reward them and to them that were bad to punish them that so not onely himselfe but all his might serue the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together in fasting and prayer that so they might intreate the Lord to deliuer them from that finall destruction and vtter ruine which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people had determined to bring vpon them speedily she said That she and her maides would do the like Hest. 4. 16. Whereby no doubt she insinuated vnto them that in euery household her meaning was that it should be thorowly kept on all sides not onely of the rulers and some few but of all others euen vnto the maid seruants Now the Sabbath and the day of Fast are both of one nature as the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse Therefore if this hath bene the practise of the Church vpon that day to fast and not the chiefe alone but their families also then must we needes be perswaded that vpon the Lords day we ought our selues and our households to serue the Lord and to say with Ioshua I and mine house will serue the Lord and with Hester I and my seruants will doe the like And how could that haue bene verified of the religious captaine Cornelius which is written of him That he was a deuout man and one that feared God with all his household vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabbath dayes but had also acquainted his seruants therewith Therefore as the Lord himselfe speaketh of Abraham who is the father of all beleeuers I know that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to do righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham and enioy the same promise that he and his posterity did euen that they cause their children and their seruants to keepe holy the Sabbath wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord that so they might walke in that way which hath the promises of this life and the life to come So then it may most euidently appeare both by the words of the Commandement and by the practise of the best men in the old and new Testament that this dutie is laid vpon all householders diligentlyto ouersee the wayes of their families that they serue God as in all other duties so especially in sanctifying the Sabbath as they will answer to the contrary at their perill to him that hath put them in authoritie and as they will giue an account for their soules which otherwise might perish through their default Which though it be so strictly required of all men and vnder so great a paine laide vpon them yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that we may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it For besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therefore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or play and to do any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and do encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words there be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue indeed yet either through ignorance or negligence do not once looke to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and continue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bene already spoken concerning this matter that they do too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answer in his businesse which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe dayes when their seruants are in their owne businesse they wil not let them come and go at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they be at their worke but will be sure of it and therefore set them to it looke vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it be well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not then needs be a great vnkindnesse and vnthankfulnesse
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
but coldly and for custome sake at the Church and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there then they loue and like of his gouernment in their houses The Gouernours of families if as it is in mariage there be more then one vpon whom the charge of gouernment lieth though vnequally are first the chiefe gouernour which is the Husband secondly a fellow-helper which is the Wife These both do owe duties to their familie and dutie one to another The duties they ow to their familie both concerning godlinesse and the things of this life belong either to the Husband especially or to the Wife especially The duties that belong to the Husband touching holinesse are such as either He must 1. Performe to them of his familie 2. Or require of them The duties which he must performe to them are first touching the publike ministery of the Word to prouide that they may liue vnder an ordinary ministery of the word or else to take order that alwayes vpon the Sabbath and at other times when it may be they resort to such places where they may haue the word ministred vnto them for else how shall they be brought into the Sheepfold of God from which naturally they go 〈◊〉 but by hearing the voyce of the chiefe Sheep-heard speaking vnto them by those whom he sendeth How shall they belieue and so be begotten againe by the seede of the word except they heare such as God sendeth for the begetting of men vnto him How shall they be reconciled vnto God but by hearing his messengers into whose mouthes he hath put the word of reconciliation How shall they grow in faith and increase in grace but by receiuing with meeknesse the ingrafted word which is able to saue their soules Seeing then the word preached is the meanes to beget men to a new life and to nourish them in it a great dutie lyeth vpon the Gouernours of Familyes to prouide by some meanes that they may haue it For where the word is not preached there the Lords Sabbath cannot be hallowed as it ought Now the Lord would not onely haue Maisters of Families to keepe holy the Sabbath themselues in all the parts of his worship publike and priuate but also that euery one should in his seueral place and roome carefully to take order that so many as be committed to his charge should sanctifie the Lords day as well as himselfe Which though it be true in all other commandements namely that whatsoeuer we are bound to do our selues we must be meanes to further others in doing the same because the loue of God and of our Neighbour spreadeth it selfe ouer all the Commandements and therfore though it be not expressed it is necessarily vnderstood yet in the fourth commandemēt it is so much the more required because besides the analogie and proportion betweene it and the other Commandements which do enforce it the very words themselues do binde vs thereunto For when it is said Thou and thy Sonne and thy Daughter thy Man-sernant and thy Mayde though it speaketh by name onely of resting vpon the Sabbath yet because the end of that is that the day might be sanctisied looke how many reasons there be to binde the inferiours to rest and the superiours to prouide that they do so indeed so many are there to compell them to sanctifie the day in their owne persons and in so many as belong vnto them Therefore when first of all it is generally said in this fourth Commandement Remember the Sabbath-day that thou keepe it holy And afterwards The seuenth day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God that is which must be dedicated vnto his seruice in the end you must therfore rest that you might serue him in it as he requireth and then nameth the seueral parties that should rest His meaning is to declare the right end of their resting and so speaking by name to the Gouernours saith Thou and thy sonne and thy daughter thy man-seruant and thy maid the stranger that is within thy gates to shew vnto them that it is not sufficient for them to looke that they vnder their gouernmēt should rest vnlesse they sanctifie the day of rest also which they must be so much carefull of by how much the sanctification of the day is greater then the ceassing to worke vpon it as the end whereunto this is but referred and therefore if it be a sinne in them at any time not to haue a sufficient regard vnto them that they do not worke then it must needes be a great sinne if that through their negligence they do not sanctifie and keepe holy the day of rest So that here the Lord God requireth that in all places there should be such good lawes publickly in the Common wealth and priuately in mens houses established and diligently executed as thereby not onely the rulers but also all in subiection should be compelled to sanctifie the Lords day and that they should be sure they do it indeed And as he must not leaue it indifferent to them to choose whether they will work or rest and so thinke it sufficient that they do not lay any worke vpon them So is it not enough that they hinder them not from seruing God vpon that day vnlesse they procure all the meanes vnto them whereby God might be worshipped of them and see that they worship God in them as well as themselues Therefore the maisters of families must prouide as much as lyeth in them that the word be publikely preached where they dwell not for themselues alone but for their children and seruants take that they might keepe holy the day together with them and they must not onely come themselues to the place of common-prayer and diuine seruice but bring these also with them and spend the rest of the day in all priuate godly exercises themselues and cause others to do so also And here lest this might seeme too heauie vnto vs and that it might not be grieuous to take so great a charge vpon vs we must remember that as we haue great helpe by our inferiours in many things so the Lord woud haue vs to helpe them in the chiefe and princîpall and as he hath made them our seruants so we should make them his seruants and when they haue serued vs sixe dayes we might cause them to serue him vpon the seuenth And as the Lord hath preferred vs aboue them with their seruice so he would humble vs with this charge and care ouer them or rather exalt vs in that he would haue vs to be as it were the ouerseers of his worke and not onely serue him our selues but also see his seruice done by others committed to our charge which if ye do not wherein shall the Christian Gouernours of Householdes differ from the Infidels and Heathen and what greater thing shall we do for our Seruants then they Nay what shall we do more for them then
in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needes be a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and carelesse in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can be in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernement namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their maisters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kind of reward is this when hauing bestowed some earthly benefite vpon them by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie the Sabbaths they do in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who in spending their time all the sixe dayes hauing almost nothing therein to do are seldome looked vnto vpon the seuenth day but permitted to bestow it as vainly as the other and as they neuer almost do any good dayes worke to their maisters so much lesse do they spend any Sabbath in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or else they are readie to depart before halfe be ended so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he should haue by them themselues from that blessing which they should idherit that way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpon themselues their masters that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabbath And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should do them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishouour of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the host of the Philistins and drew water and brought it to him but he would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering vnto the Lord and said Oh Lord be it farre from me that I should do thus is not this the bloud of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate and drinke of that for which their seruants do venter the liues of their soules And besides if we iustly find fault with them who do neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they be blamelesse who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needs be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the place where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it But whereas men are ready to obiect that in a great family many must needs be absent We grant it to be true in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily and so continually as they themselues in their own cōsciences are priuie to who make this question we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keepe him in a continuall breach of the Sabbath and therefore both maister and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholy yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabbath day And we know where there is great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mis-spent namely by letting passe many needlesse things by preparing so much before as conueniently may be by rising so much the more earlie in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of our seruants especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet with lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God and with a care to serue him and in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keep holy the Sabbarh which now do it not at all others might keepe it more then they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we go not about to practise it let vs but obserue that which we shall see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the maister is as willing to let him go you would wonder to see how things shall be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shal be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing be otherwise then is vsuall it is horne with because it is a day of prouision for themselues and that day is not euery day So then if the maisters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship credit that their seruants were religious then that they were costly well set out in apparel they would be better contented to spare them during the time of that market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods Spirit and the riches of the kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onely saue their owne soules but be made more fit to do duties to their maisters of conscience Therefore to end this point it is the duty of all houshold gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readinesse to attend vpon them too and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he wil but that they should go together And indeed this hath bene the orderly comming of
Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many together and by companies whereof the holy Prophet speaketh When I remembred these things I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude and led them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praises as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy Assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to go with a great companie to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby he declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men go to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as go will go together So they did not onely go to the house of God cheerefully but many of them together euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many is condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they go vnto For all the people nay the seuerall housholds come not together but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her we cannot tel how long especially the maid-seruants who must needs be as long after her as the men-seruants are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either half the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarry till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may be weary and sometimes cold with tarrying before the other shal be warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the maisters why they alone make such hast and leaue all the rest behind them they answer truly because the time is come wherin vsually publike prayer beginneth can they be perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with them Hath the maister no longer time to tarry and haue his seruants time to tarry so long after him As though there were one law for him and another for them or rather that the same law of the Sabbath which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doth did not as forciblie bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keep holy the day as well as himself which if he graunt to be true yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacy of the rest in his familie his case is to be pittied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might do well to set vp one of them in his stead seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouer-ruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that he might bring this matter happily to passe as he must go before them by his owne example and be readie betimes euen first of all so he must earnestly call vpon them for this dutie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more fotward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also For this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me we will go into the house of the Lord or Let vs go to the house of the Loŕd for they are words of exhorting and incouraging one another thereunto euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospell that they shall go together to serue God and therefore call vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes that the mountaine of the house of the Lord shall be prepared in the top of the mountaines and shall be exalted ' aboue the hils and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall go and say Come and let vs go vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the saluation of our brethren bewraying it selfe in the neglect of this duty of calling one vpon another is the cause of this slownesse For the husband going first out of the doores saith to the wife Make hast and come assoone as you can she comming at her leisure giues the same charge to her seruants Dispatch and tarry not long behind but here is no saying Come let vs go Let vs go together and if it be once said it is not pursued that it might be performed In going to market and to a feast what earnest calling will there be vpon one another and it would seeme strange to behold the houshold go diuided and it were a thing that would much be marked and euery one that knew vs and whither we were going it should be the first question they would ask vs How chanceth this that you come alone Where is your husband your wife or your children Why come you not together So no doubt the dispersed and broken comming of housholdes to the Church is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God and of his Angels which are present at their assemblies and it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church and as soon as they see one come in alone they are ready with grief to ask Where are the rest What meaneth this partie to come alone Therefore let all Gouernours be perswaded that it is their bounden dutie thus to looke to their families and to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day as well as themselues and that they not onely thus bring them to the publike ministerie but also looke vnto them that they spend the rest of the day in holy exercises so much as may be examining them in that which they haue heard and causing them to conferre about it themselues and to appoint some to reade the Scripture vnto them and all of them to sing Psalmes and generally whatsoeuer they haue seene before that they ought to do themselues to call vpon their seruants for the same and to take such order that they be sure they do it and let them be sory that they haue neglected this duty so long heretofore thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their houshold vpon themselues and now at the last in Gods holy feare let them begin to put this in practise lest they do further prouoke the most patient Lord to their endlesse destruction And though it be a thing
is brought vp whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons and whether the parties hauing cōtinued in the nurture of the vertuous and shewed themselues obedient to them vnder whom they were brought vp or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this discipline and followed his or her owne wilfulnesse For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among or with vertuous and religious folke but herein lyeth the force and weight how farre and how much either or both the parties haue followed those and profited vnder them and were dutifull and obedient vnto them For Iudas was among and accompanied with the Apostles brought vp certaine yeares vnder Christ but for all this he was neuer the better for he left not his wicked pranks neither was he obedient Neuerthelesse good education and discipline formeth good manners men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill things which in youth they learned Therefore to proue good honest and vertuous it importeth and forceth much from the infancie to be well gouerned and Christianly brought vp For we retaine much more of the customes wherewith we be bred then of the inclinations wherewith we be borne All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings and meetings of the parties for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed and none are so often deceiued as louers He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities or she that will perceiue her husbands dispositions and inclinations before either be married to the other had need to see one the other eating and walking working and playing talking and laughing and chiding too or else it may be the one shall haue with the other lesse then he or she looked for or more then they wished for Here is to be remembred a thing adioyned to marriage and going before it namely Betrothing being a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children as is prooued Deuteron 20. 7. 22. 23. 24. This betrothing is a couenant betweene the parties to be married before fit witnesses appointed thereto whereby they giue their troth that they will and shall marrie together except some lawfull vnmeetnesse and disliking each of other do hinder it in the meane time The practise of it we see Mat. 1. 18. Luk. 1. 27. where the Virgine Marie was betrothed to Ioseph yet they had not met together to wit to accompany together according to the end of marriage This custome noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture hath diuers good grounds to be obserued which proue that there ought to be a contract before marriage And for the better vnderstanding of this point of betrothing it shall not be amisse in some plaine and short manner to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof with the doctrine also of marriage and marriage duties First then we must know that euery marriage that hath bene well and orderly vsed either of the heathen which were onely inlightned with the law of nature or of the people of God who also were to be directed by his word was perfected by two solemne actions that is by an apparent and open contract and by publicke marriage the true and vnfained confirmation thereof Wherefore we will first speake of a contract which is also called espousing affiancing betrothing or handfasting then of mariage it selfe And for betrothing or espousals we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers Histories Orators Poets and others that they be of great antiquity of necessary vse and haue bene ordinarily practised Insomuch as the vsers thereof are highly commended the neglecters and abusers hereof sharpely rebuked condemned Which seeing they could not do but vpon knowledge and iudgement it doth manifestly declare that they did it by natures law written and bred in their breasts And therefore euen nature it selfe though in some matters starke blind and in many of very dimme sight hath in all ages bewrayed the lawfulnesse the necessity and the vse of espousals to be the first step and degree to a lawfull and comforrable marriage But to omit this law and to come to the written word let vs further consider what allowance thereof we find in the same and consequently what it is not onely to marry but to be betrothed not according to the direction of nature alone but in the Lord also First it is certaine that the Lord approueth this betrothing as his owne sacred ordinance For we reade in Exodus 21. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. how carefully he prouideth by sundrie and many straight commandements for the maid-seruant that is betrothed First that she shall not go out of her seruice as the men-seruants do Secondly that her maister shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people Thirdly that being betrothed vnto his sonne he shall deale with her as with his owne daughter Fourthly if another wife be taken with her that neither her foode her rayment nor recompence of her virginitie shall any whit at all be diminished Fiftly that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice she shall pay no money at all None whereof the Lord would haue done much lesse all of them vnlesse espousals had bene his owne ordinance instituted ordained and commanded by himselfe to be vsed euen of the maid seruant that was bought and sold. Againe the Lord in Deuteron Cap. 22. 23. c. requireth no lesse punishment to be inflicted vpon them that violate the bonds of espousall then if they brake wedlocke For he commandeth that if any man shall abuse a betrothed virgin in the Citie both shall be stoned to death the maide because she cried not the man because he hath humbled his neighbours wife Where by the way is to be remembred how God calleth the betrothed a Wife If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death and if betrothed persons be truely to be termed man and wife onely in regard of the precedent espousals we may then plainely see how highly the Lord doth esteeme and honour them the breach whereof he punisheth with the punishment of adultery and the persons betrothed he honoureth with the names of man and wife If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them but that they had bene of humane institution alone he would not haue honoured them with such titles or haue imposed death by stones for the breach of mans ordinance Againe if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field he saith that the man shall die but vnto the maid thou shalt do nothing because there is in the maide no cause of death Now imposing death vpon this man and not vpon him that abuseth a maid not betrothed the Lord doth hereby euidently teach that espousals are a degree beyond a single estate of the nature of marriage and therefore the vnlawfull breach thereof deserueth death For what else should the Lord grace them with such large priuiledges and punish the breach therof with seuere punishment Further the faithfull in all ages
bestow or not to bestow his daughter in marriage saying In doing either of the twaine he sinneth not Yet it is written in another place If the father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of Virgins In which words the Lord doth giue an absolute authority to the father to yeeld or not to yeeld his consent to giue or not to giue his daughter For if he haue power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowred and so by the Apostles iudgement made one flesh with another much more lawfully may he deny his consent to her that is no manner of way bound but is euery way free And if he haue power to deny his consent in such a case much more hath he power to giue his consent Now his authority and power to deny his consent is apparent by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe which saith Take heed to thy selfe that thou make no compact with the inhabitants of the land and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes c. More plaine Neither shalt thou make marriages with them neither giue thy daughter vnto his sonne nor take his daughter to thy sonne How could those parents obserue this commandement vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children or why doth he rather forbid to the parents then to the children but to shew that the power to giue or not to giue was in the parents and not in the children especially considering the children being the principall parts of their parents goods are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giue and bestow then the rest are This was so well knowne in the Church and so vsually practised amongst the people of God that the greatest among them who might seeme to haue greatest liberty in that behalfe durst not disobey the holy commandement of God For Sampson the strongest of all though he loued a Maide of the Philistims yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him Dauid a mighty valiant Prince begged Michol at the hands of Saul her father and after his death being betrothed vnto her he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues And Abraham the father of the faithfull by his seruant intreated Rebeccaes parents to giue her to wife vnto his sonne Isaack All which testimonies and examples do plainly proue the great interest power and authority that parents haue in bestowing their children and that their consent added to the sixe former points whereof we haue spoken doth make for so sure a Contract as cannot be loosed and vntyed by any authoritie vnder heauen For here in this that saying of Christ Matth. 19. 6. is truly verified Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together but if this or any of the former be omitted the Contract may be broken and disanulled And lest we should be ignorant or forget what those errors are which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract These they be 1. First if there be onely a naked shew of a promise and yet no promise indeed 2. Secondly if any other thing be promised then Marriage 3. Thirdly if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced 4. Fourthly if one of the parties alone do promise and not both 5. Fifthly ifit were wade betweene other creatures or betweene moe then one man and one woman 6. Sixthly if the persons contracted or either of them be altogether vnfit for marriage 7. Seuenthly if either of them be formerly betrothed or haue committed adultery after the Contract or be allyed or ofkinne or for any other cause not at liberty to marry 8. Eightly if there lacke the consent of the parents If all or any of these be vndoubtedly knowne and clearely proued they do ioyntly and seuerally frustrate or nullifie the Contract so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same and set the parties at libertie But contrarily if all these concurre and accord the Contract is as inuiolable as marriage it selfe neither can the parties be set at liberty by themselues or by any power whatsoeuer because this Contract and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord which being a sacred ordinance of God as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints so now it is time to declare and teach the same First therefore it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headinesse of carnall naturall and brutish lust For if this Contract be holily and dutifully kept according to the former doctrine it would neuer come to passe that any person man or woman should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily vpon euery instigation oflust like brute beasts but would willingly in all modesty and sobriety take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessary and holy Contract which is ordained to this end that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation to learne all the vses and abuses all the commodities and incommodities all the comforts and discomforts with all the duties breaches of duties that can befall in the honourable estate of marriage 2 Secondly it serueth to discouer betimes and in good season all sorts of impediments lets that may or ought to hinder the marriage that is promised Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony thrice or three seuerall dayes to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might be remedied rather then after marriage accomplished when it is remedilesse 3 Thirdly it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastity seeing by this meanes not onely former promises and contracts but also fornications if any haue bene and adulteries may be descried and discerned For after Ioseph was contracted before he was married his wife was found to be with child though without ill demeanour on her part yet it made Ioseph so afraid that he had intended in his heart priuately to relinquish forsake her and had so done indeed had not Gods Angell commanded the contrary Neuerthelesse it was the Contract that discouered this truth and so preserued Maries virginitie that the Scripture might be fulfilled which saith A Virgine shall conceiue c. If this were not men might vpon knowledge or ignorance make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues either betrothed or married and so lose their honesty and chastity to their great infamy and hinderance 4 Last of all it serueth to condemne and auoyd all priuate Contracts and secret marriages and contrarily to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of Marriage as well in the beginning as in the end thereof that all things touching the same might be begun continued and finished in the Lord according to his commandement that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly This being done
the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answer at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to be made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demanded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to be required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like 1. N. do willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meete till such time I take thee for my onely betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to be done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of parents kinsfolks and friends After this the parents are to be admonished to set and appoint the day of marriage neither too neare nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may be sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised marriage might be hindred and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinency In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of marriage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed do come And so with a Psalme and prayer to cóclude the holy action Now that there should be a competent space betweene the time of the Contract and the day of marriage it is very necessary for these causes 1. That there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to house-keeping betweene that time and the celebrating of marriage but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts men and betwixt the prophane and his children for they euen as beasts do after a beastlike manner being led by a naturall 〈◊〉 and motion come together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should 〈◊〉 seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of marriage For many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinking of the troubles and afflictions that follow marriage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of marriage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull housholder so ordereth and frameth his houshold as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeed the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is a Pastor ouer his family that he instructeth it diligently in the feare of God and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise of godlinesse So that in his house you shall find the chast wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor marked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her family seruants and children the maister father and husband the children and seruants euery one likewise in his degree employing himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approuing his doings as before God Now like as in the mind there are such vertues as we haue before spoken of so are 〈◊〉 in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeliefe idolatrie superstition ignorance churlishnesse lying falshood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbiting distemperance drunkennesse gluttony couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshame fastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vain-glory childing brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or the a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices he seeketh not a spouse 〈◊〉 she a husband for a right peaceable good honest and Christian life but an hell a painefulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to be hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of God draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods word bring all vice and abhominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are duly and warily obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This cometh of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these carnall cloudie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to the bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse do flie from them After the riches of the mind do the riches of the bodie follow next of which sort is a comely beautifull or well-fauoured body health a conuenient age c. A beautifull bodie is such a one as is of right forme and shape meete and of strength to beare children and gouerne an house euen such a one as both the man and woman can find in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other and to be content withall c. As concerning the beautie or comlinesse of the body where there is else no good property or qualitie beside Salomon saith Prou. 31. 30. Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is vanitie but the woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised And Prou. 11. 22. As a iewell of gold in a swines snout so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion or is of vncomely behauiour and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe For beautie is a fraile gift and a slippery and more profitable to those that behold it then to those that haue it The beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie but a little as it were in a glasse and yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw and yet it is many times both to her selfe and to them that behold her beautie a prouocation to much euill She that is faire waxeth proud of it and he that doth behold her becometh subiect vnto filthy loue But in the mind which is iudged to be the man consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse which entice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue being mixt with nothing that is shamefull either to be done or spoken And therefore there is no man so farre without wit that had not rather haue her which
is the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they should giue vnto their wiues both in word and deed For as the common saying is such a husband such a wife For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any wayes or to pride themselues in their gifts but either the one to endeuour to supply the others wants that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect body 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in all businesse and affaires Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other the one of them being alwayes louing kind courteous plaine and gentle vnto the other in words manners and deeds 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all honest things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cānot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them and so from thence-foorth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone And if one of them be angry and offended with the other then let the party grieued open and make knowne vnto the other their griefe in due time and with discretion For the longer a displeasure or euill will rages in secret the worse wil be the discord And this must be obserued that it be done in a fit and conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make great debate And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then be no fit time to talke with him Therefore Abigail perceiuing Nabal her husband to be drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the bony And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly prooued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state and marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued Sonnes sake would so blesse them and their marriage that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all manner of medicines specially they that go nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very loathsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perillous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage that they haue no need of such a medicine As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue bene deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath bene already said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many and mo good women then men Yea and I am perswaded that if at this day a due suruey should be taken of all the men women throughout his Maiesties dominions there would be found in number moe women that are faithfull religious and vertuous then men Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Ephesians 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that they must regard their husbands will as the Lords will But yec withall as the Lord commandeth that which is good right so she should obey her husband in good and right or else she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne For when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritts ouer thee And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should be subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his maister calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also in token that she should be subiect vnto him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her family this is one namely that she nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them foorth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God Besides it is hurtfull both for the childs body and also for his wit lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby First nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her child
the mouthes of babes and sucklings hast thou set foorth thy praise The words of the little and simple children were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharises Thus were they taught from their cradle so carefull were their godly parents ouer them Contrariwise they cannot haue any wisedome that despise the way of the Lord. They become blinde and wicked and abhominable in all their wayes They haue no sense nor feeling of the will of God They cannot know light from darknesse nor God from Belial Such were the childrē that derided Elisha as also Absolon whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition that he went about to despose his father from his kingdome So also his brother 〈◊〉 vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid Another care which a father ought to haue of his children is to traine them vp in the study of vertue and of a godly life Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God They which keepe not this way are the children of wrath Herein standeth the whole profession of a Christian life For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse but vnto holinesse This is the will of God and this is out promise made vnto him that we serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse all the dayes of our life that we increase in vertue and grow from grace to grace A wise and louing father which sendeth his sonne on a dangerous iourney either by sea or land first instructeth him with aduise and telleth him in what sort he shall auoide perils Take heed saith he the way is dangerous which thou must passe The sea is terrible the waues rise vp as high as heauen and by and by thou shalt see a pit as low as hell The sands may swallow thee the rocks may destroy thee Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines and through a wildernesse where theeues will assault thee Thy heart will quake Thou shaltcrie for succour and find no man to helpe thee In these and these places hath many a good mans child bene cast away Oh take 〈◊〉 my sonne thou art the 〈◊〉 and comfort of mine age if ought come to thee otherwise then well I shall soone end my dayes in sorrow If a father be thus carefull that his child should escape worldly dangers he must also be carefull of spirituall dangers in which whosoeuer is lost is lost for euer Therefore thus or to this effect may he say to him Oh my sonne vnderstand what God hath done for thy sake Take heed to thy selfe The world is all ouer-strewed with snares The diuell runneth and seeketh whom he may deuoure Giue not ground to him but resist him and he will flie from thee Be strong in faith The Name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble and he will deliuer thee He will giue thee of his spirit Take heed my sonne and be not deceiued let no wilfulnesse cast thee away If sinners entice thee be not a companion with them in wickednesse Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world for the world passeth away and the lust thereof He that loueth this world the loue of God is not in him Be not like vnto them that perish Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne Thou art by nature the child of wrath but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saintes in light and hath deliuered thee from the power of darknesse and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne Receiue not this grace in vaine but cast away the works of darknesse and put on the armour of light Be renewed in thy heart and in thy spirit that it may appeare I haue bene carefull for thee Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne to nurture him Now there be some necessaire meanes and helpes whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their children according to the directions before spoken of as these First not to suffer their children and youth to haue their owne will For Salomon saith Prou. 11. 20. They that are of afroward heart are abhominable vnto the Lord. And againe in the 29. Chap. verse 15. A child set at libertie maketh his mother ashamed But what will some be readie to answer in this case Oh he may be broken of that time enough afterwards But what saith the wiseman Ecclesiastic 25. 27. Giue no passage to the waters no not a little The heart of child is as the violent waters And as those which haue experience in keeping and repairing the sea bankes can easily tell vs that if the raging waues should be suffered to breake ouer but one tide they should hardly in many dayes recouer it againe so if thou sufferest thy childs affections to haue the full swinge and course yea but a small season thou shalt hardly or neuer againe winne this breach 2. The second meanes is moderation in diet not to pamper children with too much meate or that which is delicate but to giue them that which is wholesome and sufficient and no more For excesse breedeth disease both in body and mind maketh them gluttons and drunkards consumers of patrimonie and this vice draweth a thousand more with it and euen as the fattest soile bringeth forth the rankest weeds so pampered children brought vp without due gouernment and discipline thrust foorth the greatest and most ouergrowne vices 3. The third helpe is not to cloath them with costly apparell or to attire them with new fashions For this againe is contrarie to the nature of paines and labour and stirreth vp pride For euen as soft flaxe is soone on fire so youthfull nature will soone be inflamed with this vice as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day For from whence commeth this disguised and monstrous apparell but from wanton and dissolute education of youth This is the speciall sinne of England and if any thing be the ouerthrow of it which God for his mercy turne away it will be this the land is too heauie of this sinne For the pride of all nations and the follies of all countries are vpon vs how should we long beare them How art thou fallen from heauen ô Lucifer sonne of the morning And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice that I will visit the Princes and the Kings children and all such as are cloathed with strange apparell 4. The fourth helpe is reprehension or chiding And this is taught Prou. 19. 15. The rod and correction giue wisedome Where by the rod is vnderstood chastisement and by correction is vnderstood chiding or reprehension The want of this helpe was the vtter spoile and vndoing of Adonyah as may be seene 1. King 1. 2. Chapters And here we cannot but iustly find fault with most parents who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be
they command them and to refraine from those things which they forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindfull of benefits receiued and therefore carryeth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bene pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion be ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnesse And by this familiar description of these three heads wherein standeth chiefely the honour due vnto parents we may clearely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in awfull feare of them as whom they would be loath to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them nor haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth nearer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequently they do not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God which without true and vnfained repentance must needs pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his most heauie and hote indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good nurtured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord and in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them in this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed nor euill-fauoured nor of a contrary religion they 〈◊〉 submit themselues vnto their choyce which if for the present or vpon the sodaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choyce but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection and to frame their wills to be plyable vnto their fathers in such lawsull cases For the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it Likewise Absolon vsing wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father for rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end Yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children If any man haue a sonne that is stubburne and disobedient which will not hear 〈◊〉 vnto the voyce of his father and the voyce of his mother and they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him and bring him out vnto the Elders of the Citie and vnto the gates of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his Citie This our sonne is stubburne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a riotour and a drunkard Then all the men of the Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death So thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it and feare For euen as a long and a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient children so on the other side all disobedient vnthankfull and obstinate children are assured of the punishment of infamie ioyned with diuers and great calamities and torments 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King 1. 25. c. Deut. 21. 18. c. Prou. 20. 20. 30. 17. And although that the temporall officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience yet shall they not escape vnpunished for the vengeance of God shall accompanie them vntill they be vtterly destroyed For there is nothing more vnnaturall then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents and inferiours their superiours Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the bellie of her dam and seeketh her owne life with her dams death So contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue beneficence and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Iacob and his brethren in that he both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ was also obedient to his parents euen vntill death So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeares to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And S. Paul doth note that it is the first Commandement with promise For albeit there be a promise added to the second and others of the first Table yet this fift Commandemēnt is the first of righteousnesse and none in the second Table besides it hath any promise annexed thereunto For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to their parents But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnesse and loue towards them It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy the earnest pennie of my goodnesse and grace towards thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs a blessing of God First because we cannot liue long without participating of many great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue glorifie God In confideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go downe into the place of silence but we will praise the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezekiah King of Iudah also note in his Canticle The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I do this day the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue it to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto them And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne together these two sentences That it may go well with thee and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when
God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans estate whether it be lest malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some greater calamities wherein they might peraduenture be entangled or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with them But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honour their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children do chance to liue long so farre is long life from being vnto them a blessing that on the contrarie it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condemnation so as they had bene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it be God so disposeth thereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honour their parents are blessed and the others are accursed Eccles. 3. 2. c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children enioyned them from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free from blame and guiltinesse before God For although they can say as the children in Ezekiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that although the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some young men and maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing at the least occasion of good things the rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sinnes vnder their parents defaults are plainly left without excuse and are iuftly guilty of the bloud of their owne soules Labour therefore ye young men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes and stay the mournfull and sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if ye haue any nature in you and haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whom ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despitefull violence in that ye are a corrasiue to their griefe when as ye should haue bene a crowne to their comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenious nature to be carefull to liue that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers and a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts and admonitions before said are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them do pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents de powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending them so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to be blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaacke to his sonne Iacob doth manifestly declare Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Maisters and Mistresses owe to their seruants THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie and comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentises and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing 4. Lastly when correction is necessary that then they giue it them with such discretion pittie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children remembring alwayes that they haue a maister in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect poken of before in the dutie of parents For so much as maisters and housholders are to their seruants and apprentises in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to with-hold and keepe 〈◊〉 their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their well-doing and good deseruing slenderly but to be carefull of their seruants good estate as of their owne not onely in prouiding for them wholsome meate drink and lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as Christianity liberality and equality shall binde them but also that they be carefull that they liue honestly vertuously and Christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with too much labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide them when they shall neglect their duty lest they be prouoked with their hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord and maister in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons Ephes. 6. 9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithfull labour of their seruants and pay their couenants in a fit and conuenient time lest being compelled by necessitie they should steale Maisters ought not as tyrants to vse their seruants as their horses and asses but to deale with them louingly Christianly because they are all members of one body whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some maisters that vse their seruants and apprentises more like beasts then like men and their owne members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their maister a straight account Oh that Christian Maisters and Mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good and vpright dealing with his seruants which was farre from rigor For he saith If I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maide when they did contend with me that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me what then shall I do when God standeth