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A57041 The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.; Pantagruel. English. 1693 Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660. 1693 (1693) Wing R110; ESTC R26911 173,631 446

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Bridlegoose only excepted who was the Deputy-Governor of the Fonspeton At the ushering in of the Second Service Panurge making a low Reverence spake thus Gentlemen the Question I am to propound unto you shall be uttered in very few Words Should I marry or no If my Doubt herein be not resolved by you I shall hold it altogether insolvable as are the Insolubilia de Aliaco for all of you are elected chosen and culled out from amongst others every one in his own Condition and Quality like so many picked Peas on a Carpet The Father Hippothada in obedience to the bidding of Pantagruel and with much Courtesie to the Company answered exceeding modestly after this manner My Friend you are pleased to ask Counsel of us but first you must consult with your self Do you find any trouble or disquiet in your Body by the importunate stings and pricklings of the Flesh That I do quoth Panurge in a hugely strong and almost irresistible measure Be not offended I beseech you good Father at the freedom of my Expression No truly Friend not I quoth Hippothadee there is no reason why I should be displeased therewith But in this Carnal Strife and Debate of yours have you obtained from God the Gift and special Grace of Continency In good Faith not quoth Panurge My Counsel to you in that case my Friend is that you marry quoth Hippothadee for you should rather choose to marry once than to burn still in Fires of Concupiscence Then Panurge with a jovial Heart and a loud Voice cried out That is spoke gallantly without circumbilivaginating about and about and never hit it in its centred Point Grammercy my good Father In truth I am resolved now to marry and without fail I shall do it quickly I invite you to my Wedding by the Body of a Hen we shall make good Cheer and be as merry as Crickets You shall wear the Bridegroom's Colours and if we eat a Goose my Wife shall not rost for me I will intreat you to lead up the first Dance of the Brides Maids if it may please you to do me so much Favour and Honour There resteth yet a small Difficulty a little Scruple yea even less than nothing whereof I humbly crave your Resolution Shall I be a Cuckold Father yea or no By no means answered Hippothadee will you be Cuckolded if it please God O the Lord help us now quoth Panurge whither are we driven to good Folks To the Conditionals which according to the Rules and Precepts of the Dialectick Faculty admit of all contradictions and impossibilities If my Transalpine Mule had Wings my Transalpine Mule would fly If it please God I shall not be a Cockold but I shall be a Cuckold if it please him Good God if this were a condition which I knew how to prevent my Hopes should be as high as ever nor would I despair But you here send me to God's Privy Council to the Closet of his little Pleasures You my French Countrymen which is the way you take to go thither My honest Father I believe it will be your best not to come to my Wedding The clutter and dingle dangle noise of Marriage Guests will but disturb you and break the serious Fancies of your Brain You love Repose with Solitude and Silence I really believe you will not come And then you Dance but indifferently and would be out of Countenance at the first Entry I will send you some good things to your Chamber together with the Bride's Favour and there you may drink our Health if it may stand with your good liking My Friend quoth Hippothadee take my Words in the Sence wherein I meaned them and do not misinterpret me When I tell you if it please God do I to you any wrong therein Is it an ill Expression Is it a Blaspheming Clause or Reserve any way scandalous unto the World Do not we thereby honour the Lord God Almighty Creator Pretector and Conserver of all things Is not that a mean whereby we do acknowledge him to be the sole Giver of all whatsoever is good Do not we in that manifest our Faith that we believe all things to depend upon his infinite and incomprehensible Bounty and that without him nothing can be produced nor after its Production be of any value force or power without the concurring aid and favour of his assisting Grace Is it not a canonical and authentick Exception worthy to be premised to all our Undertakings Is it not expedient that what we propose unto our selves be still referred to what shall be disposed of by the Sacred Will of God unto which all things must acquiesce in the Heavens as well as on the Earth Is not that verily a sanctifying of his Holy Name My Friend you shall not be a Cuckold if it please God nor shall we need to despair of the knowledge of his good Will and Pleasure herein as if it were such an abstruse and mysteriously hidden Secret that for the clear understanding thereof it were necessary to consult with those of his Celestial Privy Council or expresly make a Voyage unto the Empyrean Chamber where Order is given for the effectuating of his most holy Pleasures The great God hath done us this good that he hath declared and revealed them to us openly and plainly and described them in the Holy Bible There will you find that you shall never be a Cuckold that is to say your Wife shall never be a Strumpet if you make choice of one of a commendable Extraction descended of honest Parents and instructed in all Piety and Vertue Such a one as hath not at any time hanted or frequented the Company or Conversation of those that are of corrupt and deprav'd Manners one loving and fearing God who taketh a singular delight in drawing near to him by Faith and the cordial observing of his Sacred Commandments And finally one who standing in awe of the Divine Majesty of the most High will be loath to offend him and lose the favourable kindness of his Grace through any defect of Faith or transgression against the Ordinances of his Holy Law wherein Adultery is most rigorously forbidden and a close Adherence to her Husband alone most strictly and severely enjoyned yea in such sort that she is to cherish serve and love him above any thing next to God that meriteth to be beloved In the interim for the better schooling of her in these Instructions and that the wholsom Doctrine of a Matrimonial Duty may take the deeper Root in her Mind you must needs carry your self so on your part and your behaviour is to be such that you are to go before her in a good Example by entertaining her unfeignedly with a Conjugal Amity by continually approving your self in all your Words and Actions a faithful and discreet Husband and by living not only at home and privately with your own Houshold and Family but in the face also of all Men and open view of the World
devotely vertuously and chastly as you would have her on her side to deport and demean her self towards you as becomes a Godly Loyal and Respectful Wife who maketh Conscience to keep inviolable the Tie of a Matrimonial Oath For as that Looking-glass is not the best which is most deck'd with Gold and Precious Stones but that which representeth to the Eye the liveliest shapes of Objects set before it Even so that Wife should not be most esteemed who richest is and of the noblest Race but she who fearing God conforms her self nearest unto the Humour of her Husband Consider how the Moon doth not borrow her Light from Iupiter Mars Mercury or any other of the Planets nor yet from any of those Splendid Stars which are set in the spangled Firmament but from her Husband only the bright Sun which she receiveth from him more or less according to the manner of his Aspect and variously bestowed Eradiations Just so should you be a Pattern to your Wife in Vertue goodly Zeal and true Devotion that by your Radiance in darting on her the Aspect of an Exemplary Goodness she in your imitation may outshine the Luminaries of all other Women To this effect you daily must implore God's Grace to the Protection of you both You would have me then quoth Panurge twisting the Whiskers of his Beard on either side with the Thumb and Fore-finger of his Left Hand to espouse and take to Wife the prudent frugal Woman described by Solomon Without all doubt she is clead and truly to my best remembrance I never saw her the Lord forgive me Nevertheless I thank you Father eat this slice of Marchpane it will help your Disgestion then shall you be presented with a Cup of Claret Hypocras which is right healthful and stomached Let us proceed CHAP. XXXI How the Physician Rondibilis counselleth Panurge PAnurge continuing his Discourse said The first word which was spoken by him who guelded the Lubbardly quaffing Monks of Saussiniac after that he had unstoned Friar Corcil was this To the rest In like manner I say to the rest Therefore I beseech you my good Master Rondibilis should I marry or not By the raking pace of my Mule quoth Rondibilis I know not what Answer to make to this Problem of yours You say that you feel in you the pricking Stings of Sensuality by which you are stirred up to Venery I find in our Faculty of Medicine and we have founded our Opinion therein upon the deliberate Resolution and final Decision of the ancient Platonicks that Carnal Concupiscence is cooled and quelled five several ways First By the means of Wine I shall easily believe that quoth Friar Ihon for when I am well whitled with the Juyce of the Grape I care for nothing else so I may sleep When I say quoth Rondibilis that Wine abateth Lust my meaning is Wine immoderately taken for by Intemperancy proceeding from the excessive drinking of Strong Liquor there is brought upon the Body of such a Swill-down Bouser a chilness in the Blood a slackening in the Sinews a Dissipation of the Generative Seed a numbness and hebetation of the Senses with a perversive wriness and Convulsion of the Muscles all which are great L●ts and Impediments to the Act of Generation Hence it is that Bacchus the God of Bibbers Tiplers and Drunkards is most commonly painted Beardless and clad in a Womans Habit as a Person altogether Effeminate or like a libbed Eunuch Wine nevertheless taken moderately worketh quite contrary Effects as is implied by the old Proverb which saith That Venus takes cold when not accompanied with Ceres and Bacchus This Opinion is of great Antiquity as appeareth by the Testimony of Diodorus the Sicilian and confirmed by Pausanias and universally held amongst the Lampsacians that Don Priapos was the Son of Bace●us and Venus Secondly The Fervency of Lust is abated by certain Drugs Plants Herbs and Roots which make the Taker cold maleficiated unfit for and unable to perform the Act of Generation as hath been often experimented in the Water-Lilly Heraclea Agnus Castus Willow-twigs Hemp-stalks Woodbind Honey ●uckle Tamarisk Chastree Mandrake Bennet Kecbuglosse the Skin of a Hippopatam and many other such which by convenient Doses proportioned to the peccant Humour and Constitution of the Patient being duly and seasonably received within the Body what by their Elementary Vertues on the one side and peculiar Properties on the other do either benumb mortifie and beclumpse with Cold the prolifick Semence or scatter and disperse the Spirits which ought to have gone along with and conducted the Sperm to the places destinated and appointed for its reception Or lastly Shut up stop and obstruct the ways passages and conduits through which the Seed should have been expelled evacuated and ejected We have nevertheless of those Ingredients which being of a contrary Operation heat the Blood bend the Nerves unite the Spirits quicken the Senses strengthen the Muscles and thereby rouze up provoke excite and inable a Man to the vigorous Accomplishment of the Feat of Amorous Dalliance I have no need of those quoth Panurge God be thanked and you my good Master Howsoever I pray you take no exception or offence at these my words for what I have said was not out of any ill Will I did bear to you the Lord he knows Thirdly The Ardour of Lechery is very much subdued and mated by frequent Labour and continual Toiling For by painful Exercises and laborious working so great a Dissolution is brought upon the whole Body that the Blood which runneth alongst the Channels of the Veins thereof for the Nourishment and Alimentation of each of its Members hath neither time leisure nor power to afford the Seminal Resudation or superfluity of the third Concoction which Nature most carefully reserves for the conservation of the Individual whose Preservation she more heedfully regardeth than the propagating of the Species and the multiplication of Humane Kind VVhence it is that Diana is said to be chast because she is never idle but always busied about her Hunting For the same reason was a Camp or Leaguer of old called Castrum as if they would have said Castum because the Soldiers Wrestlers Runners Throwers of the Bar and other such-like Athletick Champions as are usually seen in a Military Circumvallation do uncessantly travel and turmoil and are in a perpetual stir and agitation To this purpose Hippocrates also writeth in his Book De Aere Aqua locis That in his time there were People in Scythia as impotent as Eunuchs in the discharge of a Venerian Exploit because that without any cessation pause or respit they were never from off Horseback or otherways assiduously employed in some troublesome and molesting Drudgery On the other part in opposition and repugnancy hereto the Philosophers say That Idleness is the Mother of Luxury When it was asked Ovid Why Egistus became an Adulterer he made no other Answer but this Because he was idle Who were able to rid