let my soule therefore euer magnifie thy holy name because thou hast ruised mee out of the dust to stand before thee and hast shewed mee the light of thy countenance and let mine eyes see thy saluation To be a seruant of Seruants was once a curse but to be a seruant of one of thy seruants is one of the highest blessings thou thy selfe beeing Lord of all deigning to serue thy Seruants washing their feete and it beeing an office wherein thy blessed Angels doe reioyce But howsoeuer it is an honourable calling yet it is vnto thee a seruice and not vnto ease or pleasure Those that are in Princes Courts may goe in soft rayment and liue at their ease but not so they that serue in thy Courts O Lord. Thy selfe didst begin thy preaching with a fast of fourtie daies and didst enioyne to all that did follow thee to leaue all earthly pleasures which together with the world they were to forsake in stead thereof to take vp thy crosse that so thy members maybe conformable vnto their head Men are all borne to labour as a spark to flie vpwards it is a curse that followed mans fall but to labour in thy vineyard is a blessing following mans repayring and redemption to keepe and dresse thy Paradise thy inclosed garden as it was Adams charge in the happie estate of his innocencie so is it now the Ministers after the happie restoring thereof Thy vineyard laie desolate and the wild bore of the forrest spoyled it but thou hast new digged planted and hedged it and built a Tower therein and thou hast set it forth at a price to thy Ministers to be the Keepers thereof wherefore if it yeeld thee not the fruit or doe not well entreate thy seruants or suffer it to grow wast they can looke for no other but to be cast thence out of thy paradise Not without a cause did thy seruants reioyce that they were thought worthy to suffer for thy sake and thy Martyrs gladly shed their blood for the seed of thy Church and to water what thou hadst planted Thy first grace to thy seruant Paul after thou hast chosen him for a vessell of thine honour was to shew him what great things he should suffer for thy sake as thou hast done before for ours but alas let vs doe what we can or suffer whatsoeuer we are able for Christs sake yea though we should laie downe our liues for him or his sheepe as hee for vs and them yet weare we but vnprofitable seruants Neuerthelesse as blessed were the pappes that gaue thee suck so blessed also are those whom thou hast made the Nources of thy Church to giue them meate in due season blessed the wombe that bare thee and so that which beares thy children the wombe indeed that bare the Lord was deliueuered without paine or labour but thy children must be borne with labour and trauell and the Ministers are as it were daily to trauaile in birth with such as are begotten by them vnto thee but they soone forget their trauaile and reioyce so that children be borne vnto thee and thou makest them fruitfull and takest away the reproach of their barrennesse I know Lord I am no more able to doe the seruice then thou hast need of my seruice and yet since it hath pleased thee thogh all-sufficient and all-powerfull of thy selfe to vse the weake things of this world as thine instruments thereby the more to manifest thy power able to worke by the most vnlikely meanes I humbly and willingly yeeld my selfe as if I were euen nowe in thiâ—e hands new to be framed and created as clay to the hands of the Potter to be made whatsoeuer vessel either of honour or dishonour yea though it weare to be an Anathema to thy seruice For now that I haue 〈◊〉 my hand to the plough for the tilling of that good ground wherein the seed of thy word is to be sowne I may not looke backe to Sodome to the world whence thou hast called mee but wholy intend the worke thou hast set me to doe Thy seruants must know they are vnder a Taskmaster though a righteous one vnlike those of Egypt that will duely and daily exact their work of them and see that hauing straw giuen them they make bricke for the building of thy house and multiplie the Talents committed vnto them And now there is a woe for me if I preach not the Gospel and that sincerely not can I vnlesse I will be worse then Baalim for a world goe farther then thy holy word will warrant mee Graunt O Lord that my delight be wholy in thy word that I may thinke alwaies I therein heare thee speaking and as thy sheepe knowing thy voice may follow the sheapheard of my soule whether soeuer hee call mee O let not the booke of thy holy word I beseech thee be a sealed book vnto mee but thou that hast the key of Dauid the Lambe that art onely found worthie to open it vnfold it and giue me an vnderstanding heart which aboue all things hauing vndertaken so great a charge I desire with Salomon that I may be a right dispenser of thy holy word and go out and in before thy people For I knowe Lord they which will preach in thy name if thou send them not and assist them are but like those who without authority from thee would cast out deuils in thy name which prevailed against them yea euen those whom thou hast called and set apart to thy ministerie if they do not wel and abide in thee and thou in them the deuill will enter into them as he did into Iudas and make them the sonnes of perdition tenne times worse theÌ„ before Giue me grace therefore first to direct mine owne wayes according to the dictat of thy holy Spirit and word that beginning with my selfe and so speaking out of the treasure and abundance of my heart and knowing the things which belong to saluation I may be blessed if I doe them let me first worke out myne owne saluation with feare trembling and so saue both my selfe and others least otherwise I be beaten with many stripes First O Christ make the vessel newe make me a new man and then put in new wine turne thou my water to wine And because thy Ministers are as the eies of thy mysticall and militarie bodie for as thou art the light of theÌ„ so they are the light of the world O let there be no beames in their eyes who are to be eyes to the blind but make their verie feete to shine as the starres in the firmament make them conuert many to righteousnesse and beeing first guided by thee the bright morning starre let them become themselues starres also though shining in the night and with thy beames to guid and direct others to the house of the Lord that so hauing found the Messias they may wiâ—h the wise men noise it abroad and cause others as Philip did Nathaniel to come
daunts me not a whit but I rather in that respect embrace the pains and toile thereof as those virgins in Eusebius did their martyrdom running thereunto tanquam ad nuptias as if they were to meete their bridgroomes and digesting the greatnes of the charge if I may compare small things with great as that great Alexander plunged in a daungerous exploit boasted that he had now encountred a perill parallel to the greatnes of his minde so doe I reioyce that in this depth I haue met with that at once that is alone able to employ and exatiate the infinite desire and ardour of my minde which God alone that is infinite can doe and the studie of his will and wil aske and chalenge to it selfe all my strength soule and minde with the powers and faculties thereof which as I owe of dutie so doe I destinate to Gods seruice being thereunto lessoned by S. Augustin Ingenium prudentia eloquentia sunt dona Dei Cui meliùs seruiant quà m ei à quo donantur vt ita custodiantur augeantur perficiantur For no more then the raine could extinguish the fire of the sacrifice nor the winde breake the piller of smoake ascending no more can any difficultie breake off what is destinated to Gods seruice neither indeede a little to varie and amplifie S. Pauls phrase is my life deare vnto me or my paines precious so I may attaine that ende and finish my course with ioy Not that I contemne or set light by the greatnes of the charge but rather worke it out as a case concerning my saluation with feare and trembling Onely I professe that as I shall haue occasion to say more at large it produceth this effect with me to make me not more cowardly but more cautelous nor so much to prepare for flight as to prouide and to arme my selfe the better how to beare the brunt of the battell and the heat of the day But howsoeuer the perfection of this high calling hath rather attracted then any way daunted me yet it may be the consciousnes of mine owne infinite disproportioned imperfections make me like him in the Gospel that with a verie small force was to encounter with a far greater puissance thus in the plain field to giue ouer especially since according to our Philosophicall axiome there is no dealing or proportion at all betweene that which is infinite and boundlesse such as is the studie of Diuinitie and what is finite and streightened within narrowe bounds as is my small abilitie I haue learned of S. Augustine whome as he was wont to stile Tertullian I willingly call my master that he who cannot hold the first place of wisedome should yet hold the second place of Modestie And therefore I rather ingenuosly acknowledge my imperfections then seeke to colour or couer them with Adams art especially in compare of that transcendent reference which man can no more comprehend then like God he can measure the heauens with his spanne and what the most absolute men are inferiour vnto much more am I that am inferior to so many But to grieue and repine at mine inabilitie because there are many better inabled were but an argument of an euill eye Nay rather as farre as Moses was from grudging that others prophesied besides himselfe who wished that all the people of the Lord might likewise prophesie so farre am I from murmuring at the Lords gifts and graces elsewhere that I heartily wish not onely those many but euen all the Prophets Ministers of the Lord were before me for the better building vp of the bodie of Christ and I shall euer reioyce with that worthie Lacedemonian in behalfe of his Common-wealth after he had stood in election but mist to be in the number of the 30. Senators that the Church hath so many hundreds better then my selfe in whose rank number I am not worthy to stand And I shall euer thank amighty God that I haue in some measure receiued of his fulnes am in hope yet to receiue neither can I denie but that I haue had a childs portion yea larger then many that are euery way my betters yet as I dare promise nothing of my selfe beeing but one of his meanest instruments for the building of his Temple so will I dispaire of nothing because of my weaknesse knowing that the Lords arme is not shortned but his abilitie still the same to perfect his power in weaknes that the glorie may be wholy his And for mine own part to helpe the matter what I may I will onely vse the wise mans soueraigne restoratiue for the repayring of my strength that is whereas the instrument is blunt and dull to put the more strength thereunto and adde the more to my studies and endeauours It is not then any bad base or by end that diuerts me neither is it a cloake for idlenesse nor figge-leaues to couer nakednesse that I seeke neither is it any loathing of the Manna I am to feed vpon that takes away my stomacke nor the narrownesse of the way that makes me to baulk it nor the height of my calling nor mine owne vnworthinesse that can separate me from Christ Iesus What then may be the cause of this my Fabian-like cunctation and long pausing in a word a due and serious consideration of the length breadth and depth of the great mystery of godlinesse the studie of Diuinitie that I vndertake which I haue found right like that riuer the Fathers compare it vnto wherin though the lambe may wade the greatest Elephant presuming on his owne strength may swim and sinke at last such is that vnaccessible light wherein God inhabiteth and that wisdome of God whereof Saint Paul cries out O altitud◠beeing vnsearcheable almost and past finding out at the least wise not to be found on the suddaine nor attained vnto like Angelicall motion in an instant nor to be gotten like Hesiods Poetry or Esops eloquēce in a dreame Let the vaine Lullists boast of the prodigious proficiencie of some of their sectaries that by the rule of their great arte of Idiots in a short time prooued excellent Clarks and attained to the summary perfection of all Artes and Sciences And let our profound Bacon measure other wits by his owne and vndertake by his methode to teach the three learned tongues Latine Greeke and Hebrew in three daies a peice I would soone haue credited him if he had said so much of the three next principall tongues of our European world the Italian French and Spanish whose facilitie is such by reason of their exceeding affinitie with the Latine that a scholler may goe very neare to attaine vnto them in the like terme of time It is not so in the infinite Abysse of the studie of Diuinitie wherein one depth doth call vpon another and now that speciall inspirations are ceased there is no such precocitie or sudden ripenes But what Hippocrates
mee I see no other but a two-edged sword proceed out of his mouth for my destruction and me thinkes hee is a prouiding whips to scourge me out of his Temple returning those stripes those thornes those wounds vpon mee which he hath vnworthily borne for mee denying any more to beare my crosse so that now though I crie vnto him Lord Lord he will not know mee nor suffer mee any more to haue a part in the Sonne of Ishai Since therefore thy sword is drawne O Lord against mee what can I doe but laie downe my necke and submit my selfe to the stroke of that Axe that cutteth downe all vnfruitfull and ill-fruitfull Trees For if euen the death of a sinner and ruine of a wretched soule please thee and may any way satisfie thy Iustice as indeed it cannot for thou delightest not in the death of a sinner oh how willingly should I cast away my selfe with Ionas to accalme the tempest of thine anger against mee but alas it is not my sacrifice can expiate my sins It were a good fruit of my bodie if it might be offered for the sin of my soule but how can that satisfie for sinne which it selfe is most sinnefull O no I confesse O Lord that I haue no other sinne-offering but my repentance left nor other burnt-offering then an aggrieued heart nor other drink-offering then teares nor other incense then my sighes nor other propitiation or Priest and Mediatour then thy selfe O Christ. Thou art our King to protect vs our Prophet to teach vs our Priest to make an attonement for vs and thou hast promised to make vs also Kings Priests and Prophets vnto thy Father but such is my vnworthinesse O Lord that often when I would take vpon mee the Priests office and offer my prayers as thou hast taught mee vnto my Father which is in heauen for pardon that I am quite confounded and haue nothing at all to say for my selfe and though I knowe thou art able to cure my dumbnesse yet it is safer for mee to heare thee open thy mouth to thy Father for mercie then let my mouth be opened to crie for vengeance against my selfe For I more vnnaturall then Caine haue slaine not my yonger brother but my selfe nor my selfe only but my elder brother therefore my blood cannot but with Abells crie to heauen for vengeance against him that spilt it but when I listen what the crie of thy blood my elder brother is whom my sinne hath slaine O how much better things doe I heare it speake then the blood of Abel Father forgiue him besides if I speake for my selfe my words are like the winde that passe away and goe I know not whither but most likely with my selfe into the Land where all things are forgotten but thine are like thine owne essence O Lord who art the eternall word such as heauen and earth may sooner passe away theÌ„ one tittle of theÌ„ Do thou therfore O gratious Sauiour speake and mediat for me let the many wounds inflicted on thee for my sinnes be as so many mouthes to craue mercie for me O let thy blood as when thou wert wounded it fel on the base earth be distilled also by the grace and merit thereof vpon me a vile and vnworthy sinner how happie were I if as thou madest Adam of red earth so thou hadst made me of that fruitfull red ground which thou vouchsafedst to water with thine owne blood Let thy stripes O Christ goe for the many stripes wherewith I as an euill seruant deserue to be beaten thy death for that eternall death my sinnes haue as their hire deserued and thy descent into hell for mine to free me from thence Indeede if thou wert as man is prone to anger nay were thine anger kindled but a little and were not thy mercy rather as farre aboue mans reason as his merit how long since had I perished from the land of the liuing If I looke vpon my sinnes me thinks I should alwaies see thee before me as thine Angel in the way of Baalim with the sword of thy iustice drawne against me vpon which as mad men doe vpon weapons my sinnes make mee wilfully to runne and I seem to my selfe to lie as Isaac vnder thy sword for sacrifie still expecting when thou shouldst come by mee in the whirlewindes earthquakes and tempests of thy iudgements yet to see how thou that no man might denie it to proceed only of grace and not of merit chusest rather to come in the still and soft voice of thy mercies euen vnto vs sinners wilt that thy holy spirit the spirit of meeknes come down rather in the forme of a doue without gal theÌ„ of a consuming fire vnto vs. How far art thou from desiring the death of a sinner that wheÌ„ we were both branch and roote vnder the Axe of thy iudgements and as Isaac readie to be sacrificed and made a sinne offring didst prouide thy selfe a Lambe yea thy selfe the Lambe to saue vs and to set vs free How readie art thou to snatch the perishing brand out of the fire how soone entreated to forbeare and spare the fruitlesse figtree not doing that vnto the dry tree which thou hast done vnto the greene O see if euer there were loue like thy loue thy loue and mercie as thy selfe transcending all If euer thou repentest it is of thine anger not of thy mercie if euer thou hearest not our prayers it is because they tend to our owne hurt if thou hidest thy face it is that we might seek thee and if thou fliest froÌ„ vs that we might follow after thee more eagerly if thy iustice take vengeance it shall bee onely vpon those that hate thee and in theÌ„ but to the fourth generation but if thy mercie begin to shewe it selfe it will content it selfe with no lesse then a thousand generations O thou immortall goodnes and beauty of heauen draw me vnto thee with the bands of thy loue and with the same cordes bind me that I breake not from thee let me be ward vnto the King of heauen thy grace be my Guardian Then shal mine inheritaÌ„ce and my lines fall vnto mee in a faire Land euen in the vineyard and Paradise of my God whereof though the first could not yet the second Adam with his blood as Nabaoth hath kept possession out of which neither the serpent nor all the powers of darknes shal be euer able to expell me so thou onely but suffer the weak hand of my faith to lay hold on thy crosse and to eate of the fruit of that tree of life For if thou be with me I shall be safe death shall haue no sting sinne no poyson hell no victorie For thou hast ouercome all the power of hell and death not for thy selfe ouer whome it could haue no power but for vs whose weakenesse could make no resistance but if thou absent thy selfe though but for a while my weake faith which had the boldnes to cast me out vpon the sea of thy mercie that so with Peter I might meete thee walking vpon the waters will neuer haue the courage if it see the waues rise to vphold it self Lord stretch out thy hand and saue me from sinking and so henceforth binde the sacrifice with cords vnto the Altar fasten me vnto thy crosse O Christ and spread thy selfe in thy merits and mercies as Elias vpon me that I may recouer life and though out of due season be borne vnto thee O graunt me any one of the menest places of the many mansions of thy Fathers house and when Israel thy chosen children and thy invited Ghests set with thee at thy great marriage feast and many come from East to West to set with Abraham in thy kingdom when thy seruants are placed may but I take the lowest place at thy table so when thou hast fedde thousands behold thee breaking vnto me but of thy broken bread or but be suffered to gather vp the crummes vnder that heauenly table and my hungrie and thirstie soule satisfied with that angelicall Manna made drunk with the pleasures of thy house shall neuer hunger or thirst more In the mean time while I dwell in this corruptible Tabernacle O let that grace of thine which shines vpon thy worthier Seruants if any worthy vnder whose roofe thou shouldst come as thou visitest other Publicans and sinners turne in vnto thy Seruants house and dine with him FINIS Plutarch Gen. 43.9 Gen. 28.12 Isa. 37.3 1. Sam. Harmon pag. 117. Plutarch in Ages Gen. 49.6 Revel Matt. 25.9 Iob 40.18 Pers. Sat. 1. Bion apud Laert. Plut. Ier. 48.10 Eccl. 10.16 1. Cor. 3.2 part 3. c. 26. Matt. 23.4 1. Tim 3 6. Iudg. 4. Matt. 7.17 King on Ionas 2. Sam. 18.23 Isa. 54.1 Plin. l. 35. Cael. Rh. Cicer. Aristot. l. 2 Phys. Act. 17.18 Ioh. 9.6 Aquin. Eccl. 4.17 Prou. 6.9 10. Cicer. de Orat. Epist. ad Luc. Aul. Gell. Confess â—â—b 4. Alex. ab Alex. Epist. 1. Cor. 9.16 Ps. 137.6 Ps. 137.5 Cicer. Tusc. qu. Luk. 10.41 Deut 5.29 Chrysost. Iudg 7. 1. Sam. Ter â—un Exod. 3. Ezek. 3.14 Ion. 1. Paul in vita Ambr. In eius vita à scipso scripta Possido Aug. Epist. 148. ad Val. Homil. 3. in acta Apost Matt. 9.38 Aug Epist. 148. in inst Quint. Curt. Matt. 22.37 Aug. epist. Act. 20.24 Act. 20.24 Phil. 2.12 In tersinitum insinitum c. Prolog in lib. Retr Num. 11 2â— Plut. Eph. 3.8 Greg. Rom. 11.33 Preface in Lull Psal. 42.7 Hipp. proem in Apho Possidor in eius vita 1. De Nat. Deor. Rom. 13.12 Ezek. 47.3 Cic. Totis artubus contremisco 2. Cor. 2.17 Tull. l. 1. de nat Deor. Calvin in Exod. 30 â—3 Gen. 23.15 Plin. l 35. Plut. Laert. Tu iurabis c. Luk. 2. Ioseph antiq Gregor de curâ Past. part 3. c. 26 Possidor 2. Tim. 4 1. Seneca magni emit qui precatur ad finem Epist. predict 1. Sam. 17.28 29. Eccl. 12.