bind them but also that they bee carefull that they liue honestly God made euery weeke one day of rest wherein seruants shuld be as free as their masters Gen. 2.2 vertuously and christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with ouermuch labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide theÌ„ when they shall neglect their dutie least they bee prouoked with ouer hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord master in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthie his hire euen so much more the seruant which laboreth euery day Luke 10.7 As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18.5 Iob. 31.13.14.15 For a good man saith SalomoÌ„ Pro. 12.10 will be mercifull to his beast and therefore he ought to be more merciful to his seruants being his brethren Ephe. 6.9 And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithful labor of their seruants pay them their couenants in a fit conuenient time least being compelled by necessitie they should steale Masters ought not as Tyrants to vse their seruants as their Horses or Asses but to deale with them louingly christianly because they are all members of one bodie whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some masters that vse their seruants and prentices more like beasts then like men their own members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their Master a straight account Oh that christian masters and mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good vpright dealing with his seruants which was far from rigor where he saith Jf I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maid when they did contend with mee that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me What then shall J do when God standeth vp If I had oppressed others how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement and when he shall visit me what shall J answere He that hath made me in the wombe hath hee not made him which moued him to shew pitie and fauour vnto his seruants because they were Gods creatures as he was hath not hee alone fashioned vs in the wombe Hereby then may those masters dames see their wickednesses who wil not heare their seruants speake but vpon a simple surmise and brainsicknes doe euill intreat them by cruell stripes when in trueth there is no iust cause Reuiling words and vnreasonable fiercenesse doth much more hurt to seruants then good Phil. 16.17 Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and prentices with mildnesse and equity as euery one shal deserue for they must remeÌ„ber that they haue all one God to honour worship one Prince to serue one law to keepe and one land to inhabit and one death to feare and therefore they must speake vnto them as vnto brethren and sisters and deale with them as with christians And let them alwayes remember this namely that God will neuer deale mercifully with theÌ„ if they make not greater account that their seruants doe serue him more carefully then themâ—elues and sanctifie his Sabboths Exod. 20.10 Deut. â— 14 And therefore that master is not worthie to bee serued which can not afford that his seruants should serue God as well as himselfe Hee must giue vnto God that which is Gods and then hee may the better take that wihch is his owne For 1. Tim. 5.8 Hee that careth not for his familie saith Paul is worse then an Infidell because Infidels care for their familie As it is the office of a good householder to carrie the burthen of care trauell and labour so it is the dutie of his wife to bee faithfull in keeping and well ordering of his goods house and to see his her owne their childrens best apparel brusht handsomely laid vp to be patient and carefull to see her husband doe well and both their duties is effectually to giue good examples to be diligent to entertaine peace amongst their familie and to see all things neat and handsome and to keepe due order measure For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the Regions round about him Seruants doe rather imitate the workes they see their Masters doe then the words which they heare them speake Pro. 29.21 and by his bright appearing expelleth the darknes comforteth cheareth the world euen so likewise should housholders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings and to be a lanterne of godly life to comfort and shine to their whole familie that so they may direct their liues after their good examples Phil. 2.15 Matth. 5.16 A Master ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants that hee bee not too familiar with them which many times breedeth contempt but to admonish them often and therewithall not to discourage them from well doing not to be too seuere nor too partiall but to moderate all by discretion For like as the Centurion Luke 7.8 who had many seruants vnder his authoritie and they were all at his becke and Commaundement most readie to obey him in any thing that hee set them about and this good order and submission hee had brought them vnto by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him that is hee made a speciall reckoning of them and was as a father vnto them so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them mildly and christianly and then if their seruants doe perceiue that they are deare vnto their masters Ephes 6.9 so may the masters in time worke them like waxe to their owne minde except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse It is very conuenient that a master of a familie should so dispose and order his affaires and busines that he depart absent himselfe from home as little us may bee for it is an olde saying and a true That the eye of the master doth make the horse fat and the ground fertile for al things are wel and fitly done when the master is present Such house-keepers as haue much and yet spend little are called niggards and they that haue little and yet spend much are holden fooles spend-thrifts and prodigall wasters and therefore they ought to liue in such sort that they be not noted mizers for their keeping either prodigall for their spending The couetous miserable niggard passeth great toyle and trauels in gathering of his riches danger in keeping theÌ„ law in defending them and torment in departing from them But a wise man is not carefull so much for riches and how to liue long as to liue well and die well Some householders
rest and so think it sufficient that they do not lay any worke vpon them so it is not inough that they hinder them not from seruing God vpon that day vnlesse they procure al the meanes vnto them whereby God might be worshipped of them and see that they worship God in them as well as themselues Therfore the Maisters of families must prouide as much as lyeth in them that the word be publikely preached where they dwel not for themselues alone but for their children and seruants sake that they might keepe holy the day together with them and they must not onely come themselues to the place of common prayer and diuine seruice but bring these also with them and so spende the rest of the day in all priuate godly exercises themselues and cause others to do so also And here least this might seeme too heauie vnto vs and that it might not bee grieuous to take so great a charge vpon vs we must remēber that as we haue great helpe by our inferiours in many things so the Lord would haue vs to helpe them in the chiefe and principall and as he hath made thē our seruants so we should make them his seruants when they haue serued vs six dayes we might cause them to serue him vpon the seuenth as the Lorde hath preferred vs aboue them with their seruice so hee would humble vs with this charge and care ouer them or rather exalt vs in that hee would haue vs to bee as it were the ouerseers of his worke and not onely serue him our selues but also see his seruice done by others committed to our charge which if wee doe not wherein shall the Christian gouernours of housholds differ from the infidels and heathen and what greater thing shall wee doe for our seruantes then they Nay what shall wee doe more for them then for the bruit beastes and cattell that worke vnder vs to whom we giue rest and ease from labor vpon the Sabboth if we cause them not to sanctifie the day of rest in which they shall differ from all other not onely beastes but men Deut. 11 20. So haue the seruants of God done in times past in their seuerall families And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the posts of their houses and vpon their gates Whereby all vnder gouernment were taught what should bee required of them so long as they liued in those houses namely to serue God and all gouernours were taught what especially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates and liued vnder the roofe of their houses euen to serue the Lord in all partes of his worship for which ende hee hath giuen them such authoritie ouer them According to which commaundement the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshuah made this protestation before all the Elders of Israell a little before his death exhorting them to doe the like Iosh 24.15 I and mine house will serue the Lord promising not onely for himselfe but for all his which though it was too hard to do yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe which also God would blesse as all godly exhortations admonitions and chastisements whereby if they did not profite he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house and to rid himselfe of them all which hee was purposed to put in practise therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues and may attaine vnto The like whereof Dauid speaketh of him selfe in that worthie Psalm 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by wherein hee sheweth how hee would rule not onely himselfe but his household nay the whole Kingdome by hauing an eye to thē that were good to reward them and to them that were bad to punish them that so not onely himselfe but all his might serue the Lord. After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together in fasting and prayer that so they might intreat the Lord for that finall destruction and vtter rasing of them out which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people had determined to bring vpon them speedily that it wee say might be preuented in time shee said That she and her maids would do the like Hest 4.16 Whereby no doubt she insinuated vnto them that in euery Houshold her meaning was that it should bee thorowly kept on all sides not only the Rulers and some few but all others euen vnto the Maid-seruants Now this is that to wit that the Sabboth and the day of Fast are both of one nature and it is that which the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse vnto therefore if this hath beene the practise of the Church vpon that day to fast not onely of the chiefe alone but with their families then must we needes be perswaded that vpon the Lordes day we ought our selues and our housholds to serue the Lord to say with Iosua I and mine house will serue the Lord and with Ester J and my seruants will doe the like And how could that haue beene verified of the religious Captaine Cornelius Act. 10.2 which is written of him that he was a deuout man and one that feared God with all his houshold Vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabboth dayes but had also acquainted his seruants therewith Therefore as the Lorde himselfe speaketh of Abraham who is the father of all beleeuers I know that he will commaund his sonnes Gen. 18.19 and his houshold after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to doe rightcousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So it must be practised of all them that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham and enioy the same promises that he and his posteritie did euen that they cause their children and their seruantes to keepe holy the Sabboth wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord that so they might walke in that way which hath the promises of this life and the life to come So then by all this it may most euidently appeare both by the words of the Commaundement and by the practise of the best men in the olde and newe Testament that this dutie is laid vpon all householders diligently to ouersee the wayes of their families that they serue God as in all other dueties so especially in sanctifying the Sabboth as they will answere to the contrary at their perill to him that hath put them in authoritie and as they will giue an account for their soules which otherwise might perish through their default But in our time it is for the most part wholy neglected Which though it be so
A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
saieth that God will come and dwell with them that loue him and keepe his commaundements Where therefore Holinesse is not sought for in families 1. Ion. 3.24 4 12 13. there God hath no friends nor louers nor walkers with him howsoeuer they will sometime come visit him in the Church Besides the ill successe that such walkers haue who make their houses temples to Mammon and riches should teach vs to haue a principal respect to God in Christianitie Math 6 24. ruling our houses Many thriue not but put that which they get in a bottomlesse bagge For God who hath none or the lowest regard in their courses and household affaires Hag. 1 6. withholdeth his blessings from them and then in vaine do men rise earlie and go late to bedde and eate the bread of carefulnesse Others thriue Psal 127.2 but it is a wofull thrift that serueth to harden the heart and to bewitch the soule with loue liking of this world Yet this is Gods iust iudgement vppon many because they wil needes serue their owne commoditie cheefelie at home the Lorde giuing them vp to themselues they neuer serue him but coldly and for custome sake at the Church and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there then they do loue and like of his gouernment in their houses The gouernours of families The sorts of gouernours Householders or housekeepers are persons authorized ouer their house holds and charges if as it is in marriage there be more then one vpon whom the charge of gouernmēt lyeth though vnequally are first the Cheefe gouernour which is the Husband secondly a fellow helper which is the Wife These both do owe duties to their familie and dutie one to another The duties they owe to their familie both concerning godlinesse and the things of this life The dutie of the husband touching holinesse which he must performe to them 1 To see that tehy haue the word ordinarily the want whereof is the greatest plague that can be belong either to the husband especially or to the wife especially The duties that belong to the husbande touching holinesse are such as eyther he must 1. Performe to them of his familie 2. Or require of them The duties which he must performe to them are first touching the publike ministerie of the word to prouide that they may liue vnder an ordinarie ministerie of the word or else to take order that alwaies vpon the Sabboth at other times when it may be they resort to such places where they may haue the word ministred vnto them Amos 8.11 Math. 9.36.37 Esa 32 1 2 3 4 Rom. 10 14. Iam. 1 86 19 21. for else how shall thay bee brought into the sheepfolde of God from which naturally they go astray but by hearing the voyce of the chiefe shepheard speaking vnto them by those whom he sendeth how shal they beleeue and so bee begotten againe by the seede of the word 1 Pet. 2 2 Haba 21. vers Ephe. 4 11 12. except they heare such as God sendeth for the begetting of men vnto him how shall they bee reconciled vnto God but by hearing his messengers Iam. 1 21. into whose mouthes hee hath put the word of reconciliation how shall they growe in fayth and increase in grace but by receiuing with meekenesse the ingrafted word which is able to saue their soules Seeing then the word preached is the meanes to beget men to a new life and to nourish them in it a great dutie lieth vpon the gouernours of families to prouide by some meanes that they may haue it For where the word is not preached there the Lords Sabboth cannot be hallowed as it ought Now the Lorde would not onely haue Masters of families to keep holy the sabboth themselues in al the parts of his worship publike and priuate All superiours ought to bee carefull that their inferiors do keep holie that day as well as themselues but also that euerie one should in his seuerall place and roome carefully take order that so many as bee committed to his charge should sanctifie the Lordes day as well as himselfe which though it be true in all other commandements namely that whatsoeuer we are bound to do our selues wee must be meanes to further other in doing the same because the loue of God and of our neighbour spreadeth it selfe ouer all the commandements and therefore though it be not expressed it is necessarily vnderstood yet in the fourth commandement it is so much the more required because besides the analogie and proportion betweene it and the other commandements which doth inforce it the very words themselues doo bind vs thereunto For when it is said Thou and thy sonne and thy daughter thy man seruant and thy maide though it speaketh by name onely of resting vpon the Sabboth yet because the end of that is that the day might be sanctified looke how many reasons there be to bind the inferiours to rest and the superiours to prouide that they do so indeede so many are there to compell them to sanctifie the day in their own persons in so many as belong vnto them Therfore when first of all it is generallie saide in this fourth commaundement Deut. 5.12.14.15 Remember the Sabboth day that thou keepe it holy and afterwardes The seuenth day is the Sabboth of the Lorde the God that is which must be dedicated vnto his seruice and in the end you must therefore rest that you might serue him in it as he requireth and then nameth the seuerall parties that should rest his meaning is to declare the right end of their resting and so speaking by name to the gouernours saying Thou and thy sonne and thy daughter thy man seruant and the maide the stranger that is within thy gates to shew vnto them that it is not sufficient for them to looke that they vnder their gouernment should rest vnlesse they sanctifie the day of rest also which they must be so much careful of by how much the sanctification of the day is greater then the ceasing to worke vpon it as the end whereunto this is but referred and therfore if it bee a sinne in them at any time not to haue a sufficient regard vnto them that they do not worke then it must needes be a greater sin if that through their negligence they deo not sanctifie and keepe holy this day of rest So that heere the Lorde God requireth that in all places there should be such good lawes and others publikely in the common-wealth They ought not to leaue it to their discretion as a thing indifferent but to compell them thereunto and priuately in mens houses established and diligently executed as whereby not onely the rulers but also all in subiection should be compelled to sanctifie the Lords day and that they should be sure they doo it indeede And as hee must not leaue it indifferent to them to choose whether they will worke or
seuerely inioyned to all men and vnder so great a paine layd vpon thē yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part that wee may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it for besides that a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues and therfore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children but either set them to worke or to play and to doe any thing vpon that day sauing that which they should and doe encourage them thereunto by their owne ill example and words There be others also who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues and haue in deede yet either through ignorance or negligence doe not once look to their household whether they come to Church or no and sit there attentiuely and cōtinue there with profit to the ending nor how they spend the rest of the day but being demanded where their seruants were how chance they came not to Church c. they answere securely and as they thinke sufficiently as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them that they cannot tell they do not hinder them from the Church they may come if they will they are of age to looke to themselues and they are past boyes now and I cannot tell what c. But they must consider besides that which hath bin alreadie spoken concerning this matter that they doe too foolishly and grosly imagine to stop as it were the mouth of the Lord with that simple answere in his busines which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne For in the sixe daies when their seruants are in their owne busines they will not let them come and goe at their owne pleasure and content themselues with a bare imagination that they bee at their workes but will bee sure of it and therefore set them to it look vpon them in the doing of it and call them to an account for it which if it bee well done in themselues because they know otherwise they will be negligent how must it not needs then bee a great vnkindnes and vnthankfulnes in them vnto God that vpon this day which is but one among seuen his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants that they might performe it And how must it not needs bee a great iniurie to their seruants who are naturally and for the most part more negligent and careles in Gods seruice by reason of their corruption then they can bee in the seruice of men to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours which is the chiefest and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernmēt namely to be furthered by them in the seruice of God but vse them more like beasts then men euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them and then care not whether they serue God or the diuell We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their masters and so there is good reason when they haue serued them faithfully but what kinde of rewarde is this that when they haue bestowed some earthly benefit vpon thē by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord and sanctifie his Sabboths doe in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward but preserue them to eternall destruction Especially in great households where there are many seruants Moreouer there are a companie of idle Seruing-men who being brought vp idely all the sixe daies and in them hauing nothing at all to doe and are neuer almost looked after vpon the seuenth day are as idle and as little regarded as vpon the other and as they neuer almost doe any good daies worke to their masters for they haue nothing to do so much lesse doe they spend any Sabboth in the Lords seruice but they especially are left to go and come at their will Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance as the Cookes Butlers and such like in great houses seldome or neuer come to the Church and that but by peeces either when halfe is done or els they are readie to depart before halfe be ended and so both hinder the Lord from that seruice which he shuld haue by them and them from that blessing which they should inherit this way and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of and pull vpō themselues and them that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabboth And how can they looke that that seruice and that meate and drinke should doe them good which is thus prepared and bought as it were with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants besides the dishonor of the name of God When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem three mightie men brake into the hoast of the Philistines and drew water and brought it to him but hee would not drinke thereof but powred it for an offering to the Lord and said 2. Sam. 23.15.16 Oh Lord bee it farre from me that I should doe thus is not this the blood of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues How much lesse then ought men to eate drinke that for which their seruants doe venture the liues of their soules And besides if wee iustly finde fault with them who doe neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge and so cause their soules to starue and die eternally how can they bee blameles who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word And must they not needes be culpable of the same iudgement before God seeing it is all one with the seruants whether they liue in the places where the word of God is not preached at all or if it be yet they come not vnto it Obiection But whereas men are readie to obiect that in a great familie many must needs be absent We graunt it to be true Answer in some part that is at some time vpon some occasion but so ordinarily so continually as they thēselues in their owne consciences are priuie of who make this obiection we know no necessitie that can excuse that Nay we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man that should keep him in a continual breach of the Sabboth and therefore both master and seruant may suspect that he is in such a calling as is not agreeable to Gods word or that he vseth it not aright when it maketh him if not wholly yet for the most part to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabboth day And wee know where there is a great care to serue and please God by prayer the Lord will giue to them such wisedome that they shall be able to redeeme if not the whole yet at least a great part of the day which otherwise will be mispent namely by letting passe many needelesse things preparing so
much before as conueniently may be rising so much the more earely in the morning and by the interchangeable helpe of other seruantes especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse though not in quantitie for the reliefe of others yet lesse exquisite and curious dressing which especially taketh vp the time and so we are sure and they that will trie it in the feare of God a care to serue him in a loue to the soules of their brethren shall find it to be true by experience that many might keepe holy the Sabboth which doe not now at all others might keep it more thē they do Which if yet it be thought vnpossible because we gonot about to practise it let vs but obserue the which we shal see done in the house when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire and the master is as willing to let him goe you would wonder to see how things shal be dispatched vp suddenly and in good order they shall be absent many houres and yet not greatly missed if any thing bee otherwise then is vsuall it is borne with because it is a day of making prouisiō for themselues and that day is not euery day So thē if the masters were perswaded of the Lords day as they ought to be euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants as they are for their bodies and did esteeme it more for their worship and credite that their seruantes were religious then that they were costly and well set out in apparell they would bee better contented to spare thē during the time of that Market where they may buy without money all the graces of Gods spirit and the riches of the Kingdome of heauen whereby they should not onley saue their owne soules but bee made more fitte to doe dueties to their masters of conscience The gouernours of families should take order that their whole household might come to Church togither Therefore to end this point it is the dutie of all household gouernours to cause the whole familie to be in a readines to attend vpon them to and fro the Church and that it be not left at euery mans discretion to come when he will but that they should goe togither And indeed this hath beene the orderly comming of Gods people in times past to the place of his worship that they haue not come scattered and alone but many togither and by companies whereof the Prophet speaketh When J remembred these thinges Psal 42.4 I powred out my very heart because I had gone with the multitude ledde them into the house of God with the voice of singing and praise as a multitude that keepeth a feast In which place the man of God complaining that he was banished from the holy assemblies saith that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate when he vsed to goe with a great company to the Temple euen as to a feast whereby hee declareth what was the manner of their going euen as men goe to a market or to a feast not onely with ioy but also by companies and so many of one house as goe will goe togither so they did not onely goe to the house of God cheerefully but many of them togither euen as to the market and feast of their soules By which practise of theirs as the doing of many are condemned so it appeareth that the men of our time are led by another spirit then they were and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they goe vnto for all the people nay the seuerall households come not togither but scattered and one dropping after another in a confused manner First comes the man then a quarter of an houre after his wife and after her wee cannot tel how long especially the maid seruants who must needes bee as long after her as the men-seruantes are after him Whereby it commeth to passe that either halfe the seruice of God is done before all be met or else if the Minister tarrie till there be a sufficient congregation the first commers may bee wearie and sometimes colde with tarrying before the other shall bee warme in their seates Now if it be demanded of the masters why they alone make such haste leaue all the rest behind them they answere truly because the time is come wherein vsually publike prayer beginneth can they bee perswaded that it is time for themselues to come as it is indeed and yet no time for the rest to come with him Hath he no longer time to tarrie and haue they time to tarrie so long after him as though there were one Law for him and another for them or rather that the same Law of the Sabboth which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doeth did not as forcibly bind them all as himselfe nay did not binde him to looke to them that they should keepe holy the day as well as himselfe which if he graunt to be true and yet is not able to bring it to passe where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake partly through the frowardnesse of his wife and partly through the obstinacie of the rest in the familie his case is to be pitied and he is rather to be gouerned then to gouerne and he might doe well to set vp one of them in his steed 1. Cor. 6.4 seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused and is contented to be ouerruled by them in the chiefest thing Therefore that hee might bring this matter happily to passe as hee must goe before them by his owne example and be readie be times euen first of all so hee must earnestly call vpon them for this duetie and exhort them vnto it and the slower that they are and the more they draw backe the more forward must he be and by his practise and words draw them forwards also for this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time I reioyced when they said vnto me Psal 122.1 wee will goe into the house of the Lord or let vs go into the house of the Lord for they are wordes of exhorting and encouraging one another thereunto Euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth that this shall be the zeale of Gods people in the time of the Gospel that they shal go togither to serue God and therfore cal vpon one another for the same purpose saying It shall be in the last dayes Esay 2.2 3. that the Mountaine of the house of the Lord shal be prepared in the top of the Mountaines and shall be exalted aboue the hilles and all nations shall flow vnto it and many people shall goe and say Come and let vs goe vp to the mountaine of the Lord to the house of the God of Iacob And truely this want of zeale in vs to Gods worship and loue to the
companions 1. King 12.8 The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde Prou. 1.11 and 13.20 nor the cleane dwell with the leprous If a man can be knowne by nothing else Psalm 6.8 Numb 16.26 Iosu 23.12 2. Chron. 19.2 2. Cor. 6.14 Ephes 5.7 then he may be knowne by his companions for like will to like as Salomon saith Theeues call one another Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie he saide Away from mee all yee that worke iniquitie shewing that a man neuer abandoneth euill vntill he abandon euill companie for no good is concluded in this Parliament Therefore choose such a companion of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before for they which did chuse such as loued prophane companions before in a short time were drawne to be prophane too 6. The last signe is education 6. The bringing vp It skilleth more by whom and by what waies mē be brought vp then of whom they be begotten which giueth also great testimonie namely by whome and how euery one is brought vp whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons and whether the parties haue continued in the nurture of the vertuous and shewed themselues obedient to them vnder whome they were brought vp or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this discipline and followed his or her owne wilfulnes For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among or with vertuous and religious folke but rather herein lieth the force and weight how far and how much either or both the parties haue followed those and profited vnder them and were dutifull and obedient vnto them For Iudas was among and accompanied with the Apostles brought vp certaine yeeres vnder Christ but for all this he was neuer the better for he left not his wicked prancks neither was he obedient Neuertheles good education and discipline formeth good manners men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill thinges which in youth they learned To be good it doth much profite to be well brought vp Therefore to prooue good honest and vertuous it importeth and forceth much from the infancie to bee well gouerned and christianly brought vp for we retaine much more of the customes wherewith we be bred then of the inclinations wherewith wee bee borne All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings and meetinges of the partie for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed and none are so often deceiued as louers He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities or shee that will perceiue her husbands dispositions and inclinations before either be married to them had need to see one the other eating and walking woorking and playing and talking and laughing and chiding too or else it may be the one shall haue with the other lesse then he or she looked for or more then they wished for Here is to be remembred a thing adioyned to marriage and going before it namely Betrothing beeing a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children as is proued Deuteron 20.7 22.23 24. This Betrothing What betrothing is is a couenant betweene the parties to bee married before fit witnesses appointed thereto whereby they giue their troth that they will and shal marrie togither except some lawfull vnmeetenesse and disliking of each of other do hinder it in the meane time The practise of it we see Matth. 1.18 Luke 1.27 Where the Virgine Marie beeing betrothed to Ioseph yet they had not mette togither to wit to accompany togither according to the ende of marriage This custome noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture hath diuers good grounds to be obserued which proue that there ought to be a contract before marriage And for the ter vnderstanding of this point of Betrothing it shall not be amisse in some plaine and short manner to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof with the doctrine also of marriage and marriage duties First then we must know that euery mariage that hath bin well and orderly vsed either of the heathen which were only inlightned with the law of nature or of the people of God who also were to be directed by his word was perfected by two solemne actions that is by an apparant open contract and by publike mariage the true vnfained cōfirmation therof Wherfore we wil first speak of a contract which is also called espousing affiancing betrothing or hand fasting thē of mariage it self And for betrothing or espousals we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers Histories Orators Poets and others that they be of great antiquitie of necessarie vse and haue been ordinarily practised Insomuch as the vsers thereof are highly commended the neglecters and abusers hereof sharply rebuked and condemned Which seeing they could not do but vpon knowledge and iudgement it doth manifestly declare that they did it by natures lawe written and bred in their breasts And therefore that euen nature it selfe though in some matters starke blinde and in many of very dim sight yet she hath in all ages bewraied the lawfulnes the necessitie and the vse of espousals to be the first step and degree to a lawfull and comfortable marriage But to omit this lawe and to come to the written word let vs further consider what allowance we finde in the same and consequently what it is not onely to marrie not onely according to the direction of nature but also in the Lord. First it is certaine that the Lord approueth them as his owne sacred ordinance for we reade in Exodus 21.7 8 9 10 11. how carefully hee prouideth by sundry and many straight commaundements for the Maide-seruant that is betrothed First that she shall not goe out of her seruice as the Men-seruants doe Secondly that her Master shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people Thirdly that being betrothed vnto his sonne hee shall deale with her as with his owne doughter Fourthly if another wife bee taken with her that neither her foode her raiment nor recompence of her Virginitie shall any whit at all be diminished Fiftly that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice she shal pay no money at al. None whereof the Lord would haue done much lesse all of them vnlesse espowsalls had been his owne ordinance instituted ordained and commaunded by himselfe to bee vsed euen of the Maid-seruant that was bought and sold Againe it is written in Deut. 22.23 c. how the Lord by like commandement prouideth for the espowsed maid being inoffensiue yet beeing guiltie hee punisheth with lesse punishment then if shee had been indeed married First then hee commandeth that if any man shal abuse a betrothed virgine in the Citie both shall bee stoned to death the Maide because she cried not the man because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife Where by the way is to be remembred how God calleth the betrothed a wife If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death and if betrothed persons
exempt out of this number Gardians Masters and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed For if such bee commanded to prouide for them as parties of their owne families there is no reason why they should not especially bee respected aswell in bestowing them abroad out of their familie as they were in taking them into it for if their cōsent bee necessarie at their comming in why should they goe out without their consent Further wee say their parents and not his or her parents because parēts on both sides ought necessarily to consent allow their childrē to betroth themselues For this is the priuiledge not of some parents but of all and in that they be parents Moreouer we say allowed and not required neither commaunded nor yet exhorted or inducted so to doe because that albeit the parents doe neither call their children to this contract neither commaund them neither require them neither exhort them all which notwithstanding they ought to doe yet if they doe but onely allow them and giue their bare consent that they shall contract themselues it is enough for the tying of the knot and the substance of the contract And to prooue that this contract is necessarie we need no moe reasons then that which the Apostle setteth downe saying of the father 1. Cor. 7.30 Let him doe what he will by which words hee putteth it in the will and power of his parents whether to marrie or not to marrie saying in doing either of the twaine he sinneth not Yet it is written in another place Exod. 22.16.17 If her father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins In which words the Lord doth giue an absolute authoritie to the father to yeeld or not to yeeld his consent to giue or not to giue his daughter for if hee haue power to deny it to his daughter that is deflowred and so by the Apostles iudgement made one flesh with another much more lawfully may he denie his consent to her that is no maner of way bound but is euery way free 1. Cor. 6.16 And if hee haue power to denie his consent in such a case much more hath he power to giue his consent Now his authoritie and power to denie his consent is apparant by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe which sayth Take heede to thy selfe Exod. 34.16 that thou make no compact with the inhabitants of the land and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes c. More plaine Neither shalt thou make mariages with them Deut. 7.3 neither giue thy daughter vnto his son nor take his daughter to thy son How could those parents obserue this commaundement vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children Or why doth he rather forbidde this to the parents then to the children but to shew that the power to giue or not to giue was in the parents and not in the children especially considering that children being the principall partes of their parents goods are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giue and bestow then the rest are This was so well knowne in the Church and so vsually practised among the people of God that the greatest among them who might seeme to haue greatest libertie in that behalfe yet they durst not disobey this holie commandement of GOD. Iudg. 15. For Sampson the strongest of all though he loued a maide of the Philistines yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him Dauid a mightie valiant prince begged Micholl at the hands of Saul her father and after his death being betrothed vnto him he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues 2. Sam. 3.14 Gen. 29.18 c And Abraham the father of the faithfull by his seruant intreated Rebeccaes parents to giue her to wife to his sonne Isaack All which testimonies and examples doe plainly proue the greatest interest power and authoritie that parents haue in bestowing their children and that their consent needed to the sixe former points whereof wee haue spoken doth make so sure a Contract as cannot be loosed and vntied by any authoritie vnder heauen For here in this that saying of Christ Matth. 19.6 is trulie verified Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together But if this or any of the former bee omitted the Contract may bee broken and disanulled And least wee should bee ignorant or forget what those errours are which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract these they bee First if there bee onely a naked shew of a promise and yet no promise indeede Secondly if any other thing bee promised then mariage Thirdly if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced Fourthly if one of the parties alone doe promise and not both Fiftly if it were made between other creatures or other persons or betweene moe then one man and one woman Sixtly if the persons contracted or either of them bee altogether vnfit for mariage Seuenthly if either of them be formerly betrothed or haue committed adulterie after the contract or be alied or a kin or for any other cause not at libertie to marrie Eightly if there lacke the consent of the parents If all or any of these bee vndoubtedly knowne and cleerely proued they doe ioyntly and seuerallie frustrate or nullifie the Contract so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same and set the parties at libertie But contrarily if all these concurre and accord the contract is as inuiolable as mariage it selfe neither can the parties bee set at libertie by themselues or by any power whatsoeuer because this contract and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord. It being a sacred ordinance of God as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints so now it is time to declare and teach the same First therefore it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headines of carnall naturall and brutish lust for if this contract be holily and dutifully kept according to the former doctrine it would neuer come to passe that any person man or woman should abuse their bodies suddenly or hastily vpon euery instigation of lust like brute beasts but would willingly in all modestie and sobrietie take sufficient time of deliberation for the making and accomplishing of this necessarie and holie contract which is ordained to this ende that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation to learne all the vses and abuses all commodities and incommodities all comforts and discomforts with all duties breaches of duties that can fall into the honourable estate of mariage Secondly it serueth to discouer betimes and in good season all sorts of impediments lets that may or ought to hinder the mariage that is promised Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony
thrice on three seueral daies to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might bee remedied then after mariage accomplished when it is remedilesse Thirdly it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastitie seeing by this meanes not onely former promises and contracts but also fornications if any haue been and adulteries may bee descried and discerned For after Ioseph was contracted before they were married she was found to be with childe though without ill demeanour on her part yet it made Joseph so afraid that he had intended in his heart priuatly to relinquish and forsake her and had so done indeede vnlesse Gods Angell had commanded the contrarie Neuerthelesse it was the Contract that discouered this trueth so preserued Maries virginity that the scripture might bee fulfilled which saith A virgin shall conceiue c. If this were not men might vpon knowledge or ignorāce make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues either betrothed or married and so lose their honestie and chastitie to their great infamie hinderance Last of all it serueth to condemne and auoide all priuate contracts and secret mariages and contrarily to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of mariage aswell in the beginning as in the end thereof that all things touching the same might bee begunne continued and finished in the Lord according to his commandement that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly This being done the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God as they will answere at the day of iudgement plainly to bewray and declare if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues or in their children for which this Contract ought not to bee made If they say they know none or if they declare none then the consent of the parents is to be demaunded which if they yeeld then the consent of the parties is also to bee required And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words or such like I. N. doe willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will and I liue whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meet till which time I take thee for my only betrothed wife and thereto plight thee my troth In the name of the Father the Sonne and the holy Ghost So be it The same is to bee done by the woman the name onely changed and all in the presence of the parents kinsfolkes and friends After this the parents are to bee admonished to set and appoint the day of mariage neither too neere nor too farre off but to appoint a competent space of time that it may bee sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments whereby promised mariage might bee hindered and yet giue no occasion by reason of the length thereof to prouoke the parties to incontinencie In the meane time the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of mariage and to behaue themselues wisely chastly louingly and soberly till the day appointed doe come And so with a Psalme and prayer to conclude the holy action 1. Because there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to housekeeping betweene that time and the celebrating of mariages but this is not a chiefe cause 2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts and men and betwixt the prophane and his children For they euen as beasts doe after a beast-like maner being led by a naturall instinct and motion fall together but God will haue this difference whereby his children should bee seuered from that brutish manner in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection and enioying one of another and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another 3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie and the duties of mariage for many enter thereinto not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same nor thinke of the troubles and afflictions that follow mariage But the Lord would haue these things thought on and a consideration to be had both of the causes of mariage and the duties to be performed and the troubles to be vndergone A good and carefull householder so ordereth and frameth his household so as it may manifestly appeare that it is indeede the house of a faithfull Christian and that he himselfe is as a pastour ouer his familie that hee instructeth it diligently in the feare of GOD and keepeth it in good and godly discipline by continuall exercise in godlines So that in his house you shall finde the chaste wife the shamefaced plaine and modest wife decked without as she is within no painted nor masked thing rendring true obedience to her husband and hauing a carefull eye vpon her familie seruants her children the master father and husband the children and seruants euerie one likewise in his degree imploying himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office approouing his dooings as before God Froward wicked qualities of the minde 1. Cor. 5.10.11 and 6.9 Now like as in the minde there are such vertues as wee haue before spoken of so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions as vngodlinesse despising of Gods word vnbeleefe idolatrie superstition ignorance Gal. 5.19 20 21. 1. Tim. 3.2 3 4 5. churlishnesse lying falsehood hypocrisie vnrighteousnesse swearing backbyting mistemperance drunkennes gluttonie couetousnesse vnchastitie vnshamefastnesse misnourture rashnesse furiousnesse wantonnesse pride presumption vaine-glorie chiding brawling and vnhandsomnesse Who so now chooseth him a wife or shee a husband that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices hee seeketh not a spouse or shee a husband for a right peaceable good honest and christian life but an hell a painfulnesse and destruction of all expedient quiet and vertuous liuing but specially there is little good to bee hoped for of him or her whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth For like as the feare of GOD draweth the whole garland of vertues with it so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods worde bring all vice and abominations yea and shutteth vp the way to amendment When these points and rules are dulie and warilie obserued on either part they may ioyne together and say as Laban and Bethuel said This commeth of the Lord therefore we will not speake against it Oh how happie are those in whom faith loue and godlinesse are married together before they marrie themselues For none of these martiall carnall and clowdie and whining marriages can say that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to their bridall and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse doe flie from them 2. The riches of the bodie 2. After the riches of the minde doe the riches of the bodie follow next as is a comelie beautifull or well fauoured bodie health a conuenient age Beautie c. A beautifull bodie is such
so they both helping doing their best together may be one perfect bodie 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning mariage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in eating drinking and so in all their necessities and affaires Likewise when the one harkneth to the other and when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other and alwaies the one to bee louing kind curteous plaine and gentle in words maners and deedes 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all other things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cannot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them And so from thence-forth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone They must secretly keepe no euill will in their mindes but tell their griefe And if one of them bee angrie and offended with the other then let the partie grieued open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time and with discretion for the longer a displeasure or euill will rageth in secret the worse will be the discord And this must bee obserued that it bee done in a fit conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make greater debate As if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then bee no fit time to talke with him 1. Sam. 25.36 37. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Naball her husband to bee drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the maners of the other 1. Cor. 7.10 11 12 13 14 15 16. Matth. 19.6 Matth. 19.9 5.33 Luke 16.18 that they should thereupon forsake the companie one of the other for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the honie And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly proued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state mariage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued sons sake would so blesse them and their mariage that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all maner of medicines and speciallie as they that goe nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very lothsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perilous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in mariage that they haue no need of such medicine As the holie Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 11.1 2. Prou. 21.9.22.14 and 25.24 and 27.15 Eccles 7.28.30 So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue been deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath already been said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 3.11 1. Sam. 25.3 Pro. 14.1 and 31.10 Matt. 28.1.8.9.10 Luk. 8.2.3 23.55.56 and 14.1 Act. 16.14.15 and 1.14 and 17.4 and 9.36.39 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1.5 And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shal finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many and moe good women as men yea and we are perswaded that if at this day a due suruey shuld bee taken of all men and women throughout her Maiesties dominions that there would bee found in number moe women that are faithful religious and vertuous then men The wife ought to obey her husband in all things that be honest and agreeable to Gods word Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Eph. 5.22 saying Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if hee had said Wiues cannot bee disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that she must regard her husbands will as the Lords will but yet withall as the Lord commandeth one that which is good and right so she should obey her husband in good and right or els she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne for when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the Serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritie ouer thee Genes 3.16 And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should bee subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also Hest 1.20.22 Numb 30.7 8 9. 1. Pet. 3.6 Iudg. 19.26 in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her familie It is a speciall dutie of a mother to giue her children sucke her selfe this is one namely that it belongeth to her to nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them forth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God besides it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie and also for his wit and lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby 1. First Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her childe We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses And as euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becommeth natural mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke 1. Tim. 5.10 2. Secondly the
of God It is not ynough to feed them to cloath them to nourish their bodies with necessarie sustenance For the heathen doe this which know not God and the sauage brute beasts and the birds which haue no vnderstanding they breed vp their young ones and are tender and painful to prouide for theÌ„ The Asse though she be dul the Beare and Lyon though they be wilde and cruell yet seeke they far and neare to get wherewith to helpe their young Therefore if there be any or can bee any which doth forsake and leaue his own hee is more beastly then the foolish Asse and more vnnaturall then most cruell Beares and Lyons and Tygers But in this behalfe men are for the most part ouer-carefull For this cause many builde their houses with blood and seeke possessions by iniquitie they ioyne house to house and field to field and will dwell alone vpon the earth Esay 5.8 they oppresse the poore and needie and doe wrong to the Widdow and the fatherlesse they make money their God and spoyle one another and all to prouide for the children This is the couer and cloake for all their mischiefes they may not leaue their children vnprouided for Vnhappy are such fathers which in this sort care for their children Esay 33.1 by the ruine and spoyle of the needie and innocent and so breake the commandement of God because their portion shall bee with the wicked in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone And vnhappy are their children because they are partakers of their Fathers wickednesse and therefore shall also be partakers of punishment with them Psalm 37.35.36 The Prophet Dauid saith I haue seene the wicked strong and spreading himselfe like a greene Baytree Yet hee passed away and loe he was gone and I sought him but hee could not be found His roote was deepe his stocke strong his braunches broad hee spread ouer and shadowed the whole countrie yet he passed away He departed his sonnes died his house soone decayed and his name was in little time quite forgotten Oh how much better then is it to furnish the mindes of your children and to instruct them in godlinesse to teach them to know God to leade their life vertuously and to rebuke them and chastise them for ill dooing Psalm 111.10 Pro. 9.10 The beginning of wisedome is the feare of God Let them then learne what that good and acceptable will of God is Shewe them the way in which they should walke that they go neither to the right hand Psalm 19.7.8.6 and .119.6.105 nor to the left The word of God is pure and giueth vnderstanding to the simple it is a light to their footesteps it teacheth those that are young to amend their waies For children by nature are darkenesse and cannot see except they bee lightned with Gods word And therefore Salomon saith Pro. 22.6 Catechise a childe in his youth and hee will remember it when he is olde This is the right blessing which fathers mothers giue to their children when they cause God to blesse them too When Christ came into Ierusalem the yong children receiued him Math. 21.15.16 They cried Osanna to the sonne of Dauid Blessed is he that commeth in the name of the Lord. Christ giueth witnesse of them By the mouth of babes and sucklings Psal 82. hast thou set foorth thy praise The words of the litle and simple children were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharisees Thus were they taught from their cradle so carefull were their godly parents for them Contrariwise they cannot haue any wisedome that despise the law of the Lorde They become blinde and wicked and abominable in all their waies They haue no sence nor feeling of the will of God They cannot knowe light from darkenesse nor God from Belial 2. King 23. 2. Sam. 15.1 c. Such were the children that derided Elisha as also Absolon whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition that hee went about to depose his father from his kingdome 1. King 1.5 So also his brother Adoniiah vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid Another care which a father ought to haue of his children is tt traine them vp in studie and vertue and of a godly life Math. 5.8 Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God They which keepe not this way are the children of wrath Heerein standeth the whole profession of a christian life For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse but vnto holinesse 1 Thess 4.7 This is the will of God and this is our promise made vnto him that wee serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse al the daies of our life Luk. 1.74.75 that we increase in vertue and growe from grace to grace A wise and louing father which sendeth his sonne to a daungerous iourney either by sea or land first instructeth him with aduise and telleth him in what sort he shall auoyde periles Take heed saith he that way is daungerous which thou must passe The sea is terrible the waues rise vp as high as heauen and by and by thou shalt see a pitte as lowe as hell The sandes may swallow thee the rockes may destroy thee Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines and through a wildernesse where theeues wil assault thee Thy heart wil quake Thou shalt crie for succour and finde no man to helpe thee In these and these places hath many a good mans childe beeÌ„ cast away Oh take heed my sonne thou art the staffe and the comfort of mine age If ought come to thee otherwise then well I shall come end my daies in sorrow If a father bee thus carefull that this childe should escape worldly dangers hee must be carefull of spirituall daungers in which whosoeuer is lost is lost for euer Therefore thus or to this effect will he say to him Oh my sonne vnderstand what God hath done for thy sake Take heede to thy selfe 1 Pet. 5.8 Iam. 4.7 Pro. 18.10 Psalm â—0 15 The world is all ouer strawde with snares The diuell raungeth and seeketh whom he may deuoure Giue no grouÌ„d to him but resist him and hee will flie from thee Be strong in faith The name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble and he will deliuer thee He will giue thee of his spirit Take heede my sonne and bee not deceiued let no wilfulnesse cast thee away If sinners intice thee be not a companion of them in wickednesse Pro. 1.10.11 Rom. 12.2 1. Ioh. 2.15 Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world for the world passeth away and the lust thereof He that loueth this world the loue of God is not in him Be not like vnto them that perish Psalm 51.5 Ephe. 2.3 Col. 1.12 13. Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne Thou art by nature the child of wrath but God made thee meete to
themselues in marriage without the consent of their parents there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respects that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankful vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that children carrie towards their parents a certaine honest and modest shamefastnes ioyned with a bashfull awefulnes standing in feare of them the which worketh in them a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them as that they haue an especial respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things neither of a care to please them or of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth forth it selfe in that willingly without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by their parents being ready to doe all lawfull things the which they commaund them and to refraine from all those things the which they shall forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindful of benefits receiued therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bin pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion ministred whereby hee may conceiue vnkindnes And by this familiar discription of these three heads wherof stādeth chiefely the honor due vnto parents we may cleerely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers doe neither stand in any awfull feare of them as also whom they would be loth to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them or haue any regard that they bee not causers to make their friends or parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spight of the teeth of their fathers mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankful vnto them and so consequently they doe not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God the which must without true and vnfained repentance pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his heauy and hot indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good natured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honor and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie hee hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them Children mariageable are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choise to incline their minds to accept of the same such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed or euil fauoured nor of a contrary religion they willingly submit thēselues vnto their choise which if for the present or vpon the suddaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choise but also to subdue in thē this corrupt affection and to frame their wils to bee pliable vnto their fathers in such lawfull cases As the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham Gen. 9.22 the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it 2. Sam. 15.1 c. 18.9 Likewise Absolon who vsed wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father but he for this his rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children where he saith If any man haue a sonne Deut. 21.18.19.20.21 that is stubborne and disobedient which wil not hearkē vnto the voice of his father the voice of his mother they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him bring him out vnto the Elders of his citie and vnto the gate of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his citie This our sonne is stubborne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a ryot our and a drunkard Then all the men of his Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death so thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it feare For euē as a long a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient childrē so on the other side Exod. 20.12 Ephes 6.2 al disobedient vnthankful obstinate childrē are assured of the punishmēt of infamy ioyned with diuers great calamities torments 1. Sā 2.22 1. Kin 1.25 c. Deu. 21.18 c. Pro. 20.20 30.17 Deut. 28.15 c. Leuit. 26.14 c. And although that the temporal officers be negligent in punishing such disobediēce yet shal they not escape vnpunished For the vengeance of God shal accōpany thē vntil they be vtterly destroied For there is nothing more vnnatural thē to see childrē dishonor disobey their parents and inferiors their superiors Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the belly of her Dam seeketh her own life with her Dams death so contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue benificence and obedience Gen. 46.29 c. and 48.11.12 Luke 2.5 extended towards his father Iacob and his brethren who both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ also was obedient to his parents euen vntill death Deut. 5.16 So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeeres to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed Exod. 20.12 Ephes 6.2 the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may bee long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And as S. Paul doth note that it is the first cōmandement with promise For albeit there bee a promise added to the second yet is the same common vnto the whole law but this is peculiar and especiall to all such children as honour their parents for herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to them But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnes and loue toward thē It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy