Relations of this deceased Saint to let them see how little cause they have to mourn and to afflict their souls but the Lord who knows how to speak comfort infinitely better hath been with their hearts Only let not the Husband grieve and say Ah! what a dear Wife have I lost nor the Children say what a dear Mother have we lost But rather 1. Consider What she hath found She hath found that which â—he hath been seeking all her days â—he hath found that God that Christ that Heaven that Bosom and those embraces that she waited and long'd for 3. Consider You will never be happy till you be where she is gone before you 3. Consider It is but a very little while and you shall see her again as Augustine comforted his Italica concerning her dead Husband and let you and I and all of us mind our work and be upon our march towards Heaven taking our encouragement from the Text where the Lords makes a proclamation of Grace I love them that love me and those that seek me early shall find me FINIS POSTCRIPT NOW though the Husband of our Deceased Friend has been somewhat averse from publishing any thing of her own yet being at last prevail'd upon I shall commend to the Reader some particular Experiences of the Lords early dealing with her soul as I have found them written by her own hand First I find this Position laid down by her in her own Book viz. That very many Scriptures do imply a possibility that a believer may know that he is elected of God and that his election is of free grace through our Lord Jesus Christ unto holiness which shall end in glory Phil. 2. 12 13. 2 Cor. 13. 5. 2 Pet. 1. 10. with very many more which I shall forbear to mention On which ground she proceeds to take a particular account of her own spiritual estate as follows IT hath been much upon my thoughts to write some of those Scriptural Experiences which I have found and received great comfort in from the Word of God being as I judg brought home to my soul by the Spirit And being now past the Fortieth year of my age not knowing how soon the Lord may call having always had a desire to be on my watch that I may be found ready and willing when ever my Lords time is This Mercy I have been begging many years I can truly say for some Months past I have had no rest in my spirit till I began to write these things and after fasting and prayer by my self while in doubt what to do fearing the falsness of my own heart I was encouraged by a Sermon that I heard on these words in Psal. 77. 1â— I will remember the works of the Lord surely I will remember thy wonders of old Where was much pressed the duty of Christians To relate what God had done for them And out of the longing desire I have for the good of you my dear Little ones that you may value the precious Word of God wherein your Mother hath found so much comfort you two that is SA and MA. are the only remnant that God hath spared and blessed be God that hath left us as to this day a Berry or two You are the children of many prayers the Lord grant you may be blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus and make you serviceable while you live and fit you for an inheritance among the Saints in light In order to that I beg you in the name and fear of God that you highly prize the Word of God and every Ordinance of Jesus Christ appointed in his Word I would say with David Come my Children hearken unto me and I will tell you what he hath done for my soul Psal. 34. 11. Psal. 66. 16. I have found the Word read and preached yea many a Scripture that I could not remember I read or heard preached on yet it hath pleased my gracious God to send many a word to relieve and comfort my soul his word hath been to me a convincing word a reproving an instructing and a very comforting word and that my soul knoweth by great experience I intend if the Lord permit and will send his Spirit to bring things to my remembrance without that I can do nothing to set down the kindness of the Lord from my Childhood that was pleased to begin with me be-times O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledg of God c. Rom. 11. 33 34 35 36. I can remember while a Girl at school about the age of nine or ten I took great delight in reading the stories in the Scripture which did much affect me Afterward I was more taken with the New Testament that did reveal more of Christ to me Then I began to pray as I was able I do not remember that I ever did make use of any written or printed form The first sin that I remember troubled me was telling my Father a lye and it had this aggravation with it that he told me If I would tell him how it was he would believe me rather than my Brothers and Sisters and out of fear of them I said as they did but with a very trembling heart which much troubled me some years after this when I begun to hearken to the word Preached where I heard that sin set out I was much affected and mourned much under the sense of sin seeing a burden in it I desired to look after a remedy The first Minister that I remember I hearkned to was Mr. H. of Kensington where my Father was in the summer I did then begin to understand my state by nature how under the wrath and curse of God Then I began to see my need of and did desire after Jesus Christ being as I thought then willing to take him on his own terms Jesus Christ was then as I thought precious to me and being willing to understand my own case and condition it pleased the Lord to open my heart to hearken diligently to the word Preached wherein I found much comfort which ingaged my heart unto the Lord and made me unwilling to neglect any duty which he commanded or to commit any sin which the Lord forbids This I well remember to be the frame of my spirit near thirty years ago Hearing much that it was the end of life to glorfie God it made the earnest breathings of my soul to be this Oh but how shall I glorifie God! After this by a Providence I heard Mr. M. at Westminster my Father being there for some months he was on that Scripture 2 Chron. 15. 17. Nevertheless the heart of Asa was perfect all his days I took great delight to hear him being often angry he had done so soon My soul was much refreshed by the signs and marks he gave of a perfect heart I did usually go from hearing into my Chamber and beg earnestly of God for a perfect heart in which as I thought I
saying to you I love them that love me And it may serve especially for these four great ends 1. For the support and comfort of poor doubting souls that now lye very low in a dark day in a time of sickness under great afflictions perhaps God hath come and snatcht away a dear Wife out of an Husbands bosom or hath taken away the Child of his delight it may be many and long continued afflictions lye on him and he looks upon these bitter and severe providences and begins to question now whether God doth love him Time was when all things went well with me and I had peace within and comfort without a House full of enjoyments but now 't is a dark day God hath smitten me with the strokes of an enemy the chastisements of a cruel one are upon me so that I doubt whether God loves me Thus the poor doubting soul is apt to reason But says God look not at my providences on thine own losses crosses troubles and on these outward dispensations look rather into thy own heart and if thou canst read there but one line of love to my name if thou canst read there any true love to Jesus Christ then thou maist conclude with thy self that whatever Providences thou hast met or maist yet meet with shall be for thy good I love them that love me And these Providences are not the fruits of wrath but rather the effects of pure love Rom. 8. 28 And we know says the Apostle that all things work together for good to them that love God I can chastise correct smite but cannot hate my Sons and Daughters says God Whom the Lord loveth he chastneth and scourgeth every Son whom he receiveth Heb. 12. 6. I love them that love me 2. For the Relief of despairing souls that are affected deeply affected with their sinning against God and their utter unworthiness by reason thereof of any smile from Heaven but are ready to reason against their own souls and to say that surely God can never love such a treacherous Apostate and backsliding sinner as I have been and am it 's in vain for me to expect any love from Heaven but rather in fury to be turned into Hell and to be for ever rejected my case and condition is worse than that of Cain But for the relief of such God reasons thus Didst ever love me Didst ever love Jesus Christ and the Children of God If so take comfort to thy soul for certainly I love them that love me Though it be so low as it is though thou canst see nothing but wrath and vengeance and hell yet if thou hast any love to me to Jesus Christ and the Saints thou maist be assured that I love thee I love them that love me 3. For the help wonderful help and encouragement of poor sinners to duty How is this glorious proclamation of Love and Grace accommodated for the help of poor souls through their whole lives Have you any true love for God You say you have no strength no might so that you are not able to do any thing to please God Why what is the matter You cannot see that you have any share of the Love of God Look into the transcript look into the Copy in your hearts and if you can see any true love to God there go and pray and hear and suffer what 's alotted for you and you shall find all sweet and easie to you 4. And Lastly and that undoubtedly this great truth from the mouth of Wisdom I love them that love me is intended for a general proclamation of sovereign grace and mercy to all the Sons and Daughters of men and a sweet invitation to all persons to perform the duty contain'd in the next words namely to seek early after God Here is wonderful freeness and fulness of Divine Grace large enough for all men and 't is enough to encourage those persons that are naturally haters of God in their minds to return and enquire after him because God is ready to meet them and requite them with reciprocal love Do your duty and if you love me and seek me be sure I have a love for you But I will detain you no longer among the terms and words of the Text though to keep my usual â—ont and method I must always endeavour to make the way plain before you The Text I told you had two branches and ' it s my purpose if the Lord enable me to gather some fruit from each of them From the first part I love them that love me I would offer this to you Doct. 1. That there is a mutual and reciprocal love between Christ and his Saints I told you that it was a Proclamation of the love of Christ and where he loves he begets love so that whensover a Saint truly loves Christ he may be sure that Christ doth intirely love him I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine The believing soul says so And who can but live and dye on such a word as this is especially when Christ says as in the Text I love them that love me I love this Saint and he loves me That is the first Observation The second is much like it and that is Doct. 2. That they that seek the Lord early shall certainly find him shall certainly enjoy eternally enjoy him shall find him a God of Grace and Mercy and shall enjoy him for ever But first of the first of these That there is a mutual and a reciprocal love between Christ and his Saints To dispatch this and yet not â—o make more haste than good speed that you may understand it shall endeavour to shew you here 1. That Christ loves his Saints 2. How he discovers and manifests his love to them 3. That the Saints of God do love the Lord Jesus 4. How they do express and manifest their love to him That by all this put together you may easily conclude that there is a mutual and reciprocal love between Christ and the Saints 1. First of all That Jesus Christ hath a peculiar a special deaâ— love to his Saints Jer. 31. 3 â— have loved thee with an everlasting love Ephes. 5. 25 26 27 Whâ— loved his Church and gave himself for it that is evidence enough 〈◊〉 that he might sanctifie and clean 〈◊〉 it with the washing of water 〈◊〉 the word That he might preseâ—â— it to himself a glorious Church 〈◊〉 having spot or wrinkle or any suâ—â— thing but that it should be 〈◊〉 and without blemish And this Text I mention the rather because it is one of the last Scriptures that our Deceased Friend insisted on when she took her last farwel of me Who loved his Church said she and gave himself for it c. 2. For the manner how the Lord Jesus Christ doth express and discover his love to his Saints Though I might instance in many methods and ways of his discovering his love to them yet I shall confine my self to these three
world naturally estranged from God In Psal. 58. 3 The wicked are estranged from the womb they go astray as soon as they be born speaking lies There is the very Character and Picture of a man in a natural state he is born with his back upon God and going with his face towards Hell before he can walk with men he can run away from God 2. I shall shew you That they that would escape that sin and misery that attend this estate of estrangement from God must seek him early for they are in the Regions of darkness and in a state of sin and misery as the Apostle expresses it Ephes. 2. 12 Being without Christ aliens form the common-wealth of Israel strangers from the covenant of promise having no hope and without God in the world And the Apostle speaking of such so living and so dying in 2 Thes. 1. 9 says Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his power And there is no way to escape this but by seeking early after God by seeking early after Jesus Christ. And this is that which I shall now speak to and which the Prophet Isa. 55. 6 7 offers to us in the like terms Seek ye the Lord while he may be found call ye upon him while he is near Now is the accepted time now is the day of salvation 2 Cor. 6. 2 You cannot tell how soon it may be that you may seek and God will not be found that you may call and he will not answer that you may knock and yet it shall not be opened to you for I tell you yea Christ himself tells you Luke 13. 24 That many shall seek to enter in and shall not be able and it must be and is spoken of such kind of persons as we be of persons that make a high profession that injoy the Ordinances of God Mat. 7. 22 23. Many says Christ will say to me in that day Lord Lord have we not prophesied in thy name and in thy name have cast out Devils and in thy name done many wonderful works And then will I profess unto them I never knew you depart from me ye that work iniquity Now is the time of your seeking And because there is the greatest Emphasis intended in this term early early seeking after God I shall wave all the rest and apply my self to a timous to an early seeking after God if God shall give us the wisdom of the Swallow the Turtle the Stork and the Crane Jer. 8. 7 to let us know our season and the things that belong to our peace And in reference to this I should have thought it most proper for me to have spoken more largely to five or six particulars but the time will not give me leave and therefore I shall but only name them 1. I should have shewed you what it is to seek what is meant by the act of seeking 2. What it is to seek God considering the act with the object what it is to seek Christ And that under these Four Heads 1. To seek the Lord is to seek an acquaintance with God to seek after the knowledg of Christ this we should do early and because we cannot do it more early we should do it now and it is our great concern to get an acquaintance with God we should seek now to know God and Christ this is of so great weight that Christ himself tells us Joh. 17. 3 This is life eternal that they might know thee the only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent 2. To seek God is to seek reconciliation with God for there is enmity and hostility between God and us poor sinful wretches every one of us as we are sinners by nature and by practice ought to seek reconciliation with God and an interest in Christ aud to make him our Friend and for this we are Ambassadors the whole Gospel serves for this end it is the Ministry of reconciliation 2 Cor. 5. 18 19 20 All things are of God says the Apostle who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation To wit that God was in Christ reconciling the world unto himself not imputing their trespasses unto them and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation Now then we are Ambassadors for Christ as though God did beseech you by us we pray you in Christs stead be ye reconciled to God 3. To seek the Lord is to seek communion with God and to seek communion with Jesus Christ to seek him in his Ordinances in his publick Ordinances Institutions and Appointments to seek him in our private duties in our closets to have close communion with God and with Christ there If any man love me he will keep my words and my Father will love him and we will come unto him and make our abode with him says Christ Joh. 14. 23. So that it is a duty that lies on us to seek God more in secret duties and more in publick Ordinances night and day wherever we be to have further rnd more intimate acquaintance with him and to have a more clear interest in Christ and more intimate communion with him By night on my bed says the Spouse Cant. 3. 1 2 3 4 I sought him whom my soul loveth I sought him on her bed but that perhaps may be drowsily it was a kind of drowsie seeking and I found him not What then I will rise now and go about the City in the streets and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth I sought him but I found him not The watch-men that go about the City found me to whom I said Saw ye him whom my soul loveth It was but a little that I passed from them but I found him whom my soul loveth I held him and would not let him go c. Thus should we seek Jesus Christ thus should we seek communion and fellowship with him And in Cant. 1. 7. She thus bespeaks the Lord Jesus Tell me O thou whom my soul loveth where thou feedest where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions And this Scripture I mention the rather because I now it was much the spirit of our deceased Friend that precious Saint now with God who did seek Jesus Christ in pure Ordinances and desired to wait for him in the most uncorrupt and purest ways of Communion for which she had a great zeal to my certain knowledg 4. And Lastly To seek the Lord is to seek the eternal injoyment of God and so to seek the Lord Jesus Christ as that we may injoy him in his glory setting our faces heavenward as in Jer. 50. 4 5 It is said of the Children of Israel and the Children of Judah that they shall come together going and weeping that they shall go and seek the Lord their
God And that they shall ask the way to Zion with their faces thitherward c. They did not only look but they went they did not look one way and go another but they looked and went where they might find God for they said come and let us joyn our selves to the Lord in a perpetual covenant that shall not be forgotten I should have also shewn you 3. Where you should seek the Lord Jesus 4. How you should seek him And then 5. Why you should seek him But the time constrains me to retire to that one single term early to that circumstance of time because in it lies the greatest Emphasis as I said before and may be of great use to us at this day and here I shall shew you what is intended by early seeking of God I am sure those that have lived longest are most concerned herein the youngest yea every one of us should account it our greatest concern early to seek the Lord. But what is it that is intended by this expression early to seek the Lord This I shall shew you in Three particulars 1. It seems to have reference unto a day of Gods severe dispensations when he goes forth to correct the Nations to afflict Families and persons there is such a day and that is the day of the Lord and in this day as it is our duty so it should be our wisdom to seek the Lord early before he kills and destroys us before he makes an utter end by the severity of his stroke In Zeph. 2. 1 2 3 says the Prophet Gather together O nation not desired Before the decree bring forth before the day pass as the chaff before the fierce anger of the Lord come upon you c. seek ye the LORD all ye meek of the earth seek righteousness seek meekness it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the LORD's anger And in this sense this is the most seasonable word that I could have offered you in such a day as this is when God is gone forth to contend with the Nations we hear of much sickness and death both in City and Country God is shaking his Rod now therefore it is time early to seek the Lord It is a hard matter for a man that is secure to be awakened though the rod be coming upon him though the Lion roar though judgments are breaking in upon us as long as we can tell what shift to make with the Prodigal Son we never think of returning to our Fathers House we never think of seeking unto God 2 Sam. 14. 29 30 31 32 When Absalom set Joabs Corn on fire he then made haste to come to him And thus it is with us we will not seek after God but if he set our Houses on fire our bodies with burning Fevers when he comes and consumes and scorches our comforts then it may be we make haste and seek after him In Isa. 26. 16 LORD says the Prophet in trouble have they visited thee they poured out a prayer when thy chastening was upon them And so in Hos. 5. 15 In their affliction they will seek me early says the Lord by the Prophet When they saw their sickness and their wound they sought other means when none would do and their case was desperate they will then plead guilty acknowledg their offence and seek my face In their affliction they will seek me early And so likewise in Psal. 78. 34 When he slew them then they sought him and they returned and enquired early after God Here were a people methinks much of the spirit of the people of England when he slew them then they sought him and they returned and enquired early after God early that is in respect of themselves though too late in respect of others that were already consumed and destroyed early that is before they themselves were destroyed though it was not early absolutely yet comparatively so though it was late yet the Lord accounts it for an early seeking But 2dly To enquire and seek early after God may have respect to the morning of every day of our lives and then the duty lies thus upon us They that seek me early shall find me that is if we seek God in the morning we shall find him all the day long with us Early in the morning says David will I direct my prayer unto thee and will look up And in another place says he I prevented the dawning of the morning And if we would learn this lesson this day and constantly practice it we shall find greater advantages thereby than we are aware of The Poets say That Aurora Musis amica the morning is a friend to the Muses and doubtless the Saints of God will find the morning as much a friend to their Graces as the Poets did to the Muses When I awake says David Psal. 139. 18 I am still with thee when I awake I season my self with the thoughts of God 3. In the 3d place and that which doubtless is most properly to be understood and is especially intended here is as it hath respect to the day of our lives and the morning-part of that day Now then you that are young awake betimes improve your morning make use of it before it pass away consider seriously your follies and neglects what they have been and be ashamed It is well for you that you are in the morning of your day look out therefore early after Jesus Christ study to know God betimes study to know Jesus Christ while you be young In Matt. 6. 33 The Lord Jesus exhorts to seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and doubtless he there intends this namely seeking after God and his Kingdom in youth do not first seek your pleasures do not first seek to fulfill your lusts and vain delights and think it will be time enough to seek the Kingdom of God afterwards No you ought to seek that in the first place before and above all other things whatsoever It is a Maxime of Hell Quaerenda pecunia primum virtus post nummos but the Sons and Daughters of men are too apt to take it up yea it is their rule they walk by first to get an estate and to grow rich and when they have done that then if they can find leisure to serve God and to seek after Christ. But I say that it is good to begin betimes and so did this servant of God that is gone to Heaven before us she began betimes to seek after Christ and hath left upon record her early enquiries after the ways of God after the knowledg of Christ And oh what an honour is it to be like Obadiah who says of himself 1 Kings 18. 12 That he feared the Lord from his youth Children hear me possibly I may never speak to you more Do you as Obadiah did fear the Lord from your youth Do as Timothy did in your childhood hear this Children your souls are precious and immortal 2 Tim. 3.
your souls your precious and immortal souls your spiritual which are your greatest concernments till now you are grown old I would perswade you yea even beseech you to consider that now you have but a little time left to do your greatest work you have now but one hour In Matt. 20. 6 it is said that Christ went out about the eleventh hour when there was but one hour more to night to hire labourers into his vineyard So it is with you it is the eleventh hour your last hour Besides have you no eyes no ears to see and hear that many dye dayly and weekly how many goodly plants that God had planted in his own house have of late been plucked up by the roots and laid in their Graves yea every day the death of young and old do ring a peal in our ears to awaken us to consider what is to come And will not Conscience it self think you ring a dreadful peal in our ears when we come to dye for that neither a voice from the Grave nor yet a voice from the Temple have yet prevailed with us to seek and secure to our selves an interest in God and in Christ Younger persons than our selves are often taken away and may we not thereby see and read that death it self is coming to teach us all to be prepared and in readiness for this our great change Death lies as it were in Ambuscado for us and sometimes men are taken away by it in the field and sometimes at home sometimes by this and sometimes by that disease but death comes to old age aperto marte in the plain and open field as it were and old men and old women cannot imagine that death is many days march from them and therefore they of all persons had need to seek after God and an interest in Christ night and day seek after this in your Houses in your Closets in your Beds in his Ordinances yea where-ever he is to be found and not to give over seeking till with the Spouse before mentioned you have found him 2. Consider how Christ calls on you in the Text. Read the begining of the Chapter Doth not wisdom cry and understanding put forth her voice vers 1. From whence She standeth in the top of high places by the way in the places of the paths vers 2. She cryeth at the gates at the entry of the city at the coming in at the doors vers 3. To whom doth she cry Vnto you O men I call and my voice is to the sons of men vers 4. What doth she call to them for That they would come and seek wisdom of Christ that they would come and get understanding of him that they would come and get knowledg of him which is wisdom indeed The fear of the Lord that is wisdom indeed Doth Christ thus call and will you not regard nor answer this call What then will be his next call For ought I know it may be this Arise from the dead and come to judgment Consider this 3. And Lastly Consider your grand inducement and incouragement They that seek me early shall find me They that will yet seek him that is your early and God acconnts it so In Psal. 78. 34 When he slew them then they sought him and they returned and enquired early after God While grace is proclaimed while God says They that seek me early shall find me This I say is your early and that which God himself accounts so and will God yet be found of you if you seek him Oh! what cause have you to bless God that ever he made such a promise as this which is Tabula post naufragium And that in Isa. 55. 6 7 Seek ye the Lord while he may be found call upon him while he is near Oh wonderful grace that such promises should be published to you and me I love them that love me and those that seek me early shall find me And now I shall no longer be burdensom to you but shall beg of you Children for whom I have provided a few words a short Sermon To hearken to your own Sermon c. Thirdly A word of Exhortation or a short Sermon to young ones Children seek the Lord early whiles you are yet tender and young The Children of their dear deceased Mother should hear her always saying what the Lord said to her They that seek me early shall find me O little Children you lye much upon my heart Remember your Creator in the days of your youth and seek him betimes Eccles. 12. 1. 1. Consider you must dye It is appointed to all men once to dye Heb. 9. 27. And you may dye whiles you are Children How many pretty little ones are every day taken away before your eyes And if you be snatcht away by the cold hand of death before you know God and have found Christ what will become of your precious and immortal souls Would you be willing to dye and be damn'd Would you leave this world and be content to be turn'd into Hell and be punished with the Devil and his Angels Can you think of losing your Friends and your God too for ever 2. Consider what was the great errand upon which God sent you into the world Not to gratifie your Lusts nor to pursue lying vanities but to know God and Jesus Christ. And will you dare you neglect your special work O! whiles you are in your prime mind what you have to do for your souls Can you think it reasonable that the Devil should have your youth the flower and strength of your days and God be serv'd only with a crazy body or the rottenness of old Age O then delay no longer but seek the Lord. And. 1. Do it speedily the Mannagatherers must go forth betimes Exod. 16. 21 so must the Christ-seekers before the Sun be up before the heat of youthful lusts or earthly cares hinder your diligent seeking 2. Do it in earnest with all your hearts Psal. 119. 2 Blessed are they that keep his testimonies that seek him with their whole heart 3. Resolve to seek the Lord till you find him in glory not only while your Father Mother or Friends live but as long as you live It was a sad story in Gen. 35. 19 That Rachel dyed when she was but a little way from Ephrath But more sad Luk. 13. 24 When many shall seek to enter into Heaven and not be able 3. Consider That if you seek him early you shall be sure to find him I would bespeak you as David did his young Solomon 1 Chron. 28. 9 And thou Solomon my son know thou the God of thy Father and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind for the Lord searcheth all hearts and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts if thou seek him he will be found of thee but if thou forsake him he will cast thee off for ever It was a very serious speech of Azariah to Asa and to all
Judah and Benjamin 2 Chron. 15. 2 The Lord is with you while you be with him and if you seek him he will be found of you but if you forsake him he will forsake you Quest. But what shall we do to seek him Ans. If you will seek you must forsake sin and flee youthful lusts 2 Tim. 2. 22. 1. Especially take heed of lying that 's the Devils chain by which he holds poor Children from Christ Lies are the refuge of guilt and folly where the inconsiderate youth hides himself from man and is kept from God as Adam when he knew he was naked Gen. 3. 7 sewed Fig-leaves together a poor shift to hide his nakedness so the sons of Adam when they become guilty make Lies their covert and instead of seeking fly further from God and bring a double guilt and punishment upon their heads 2. Beware of Pride the wanton youth is like the wild Asses Colt or as Jer. 2. 23 24 The swift Dromedary traversing her ways or a wild Ass used to the wilderness that snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure The souls not seeking God is charged upon his Pride Psal. 10. 4 The wicked through the pride of his countenance his looks testifie his pride will not seek after God God is not in all his thoughts 3. Be not of a stubborn or disobedient spirit to the counsels of Parents and Teachers but hearken to their instruction It is the most sad and certain presage of the ruine of your souls if you refuse the serious and early advice of your natural and spiritual Fathers That 's a dreadful saying 1 Sam. 2. 25 concerning Eli's Sons They hearkened not unto the voice of their Father because the Lord would slay them 2. Go read the Scriptures the Eunuch found Christ there and Augustine found him there while he was reading Rom. 13. 13. Go ask your Teachers and they will direct you in the way go hence into your corners and weep and pray and God will come to you and when you hear the word Preacht mind what is spoken to you it is God that speaketh whom you should seek 4. Consider If you will seek the Lord early you will lay the foundation of your own peace and comfort living and dying O how may you prevent the sighs the groans the repentings the heart-akings that have fill'd up our days for want of an early seeking after God What a comfort was this to our dying Friend as also to her surviving Friends and Relations That She did and could truly say that she began to know God betimes and her great preparation-work for death to use her own words was not now to do And as that was your comfort then so let it be your Copy now What a great advantage was that to David Psal. 71. 17 18 That when he was old he could plead an old acquaintance with God O Lord thou hast taught me from my youth Now also when I am old and gray-headed O God forsake me not Two things more I would briefly shew you 1. What will be the difference between them that made it their business early to seek the Lord and them that sought him not or sought him too late and that with reference to eternity in a dying hour 2. Whence that difference doth arise 1. What will be the difference betwixt Saints and Sinners with respect to death at last 1. The wicked and ungodly sinner that would seek the world his own pleasure and sinful lusts When he comes to dye Conscience rings a dreadful peal and makes him cry out in the bitterness of his soul Alas Friend I must dye Animula vagula blandula quos nunc ad ibis locos Poor flitting dear departing soul whither art thou going Christ is an enemy God is a stranger I have no friend to save me I must be damn'd I am undone I am undone for ever But the dying Saint when he hath the sentence of death in him hath the hopes of life before him I must dye says he O welcom Death I am now going to enjoy him whom I have loved to possess him whom I have sought as this precious Saint said to me a little before her death I know whom I have trusted I am my Beloveds and my Beloved is mine says the Believer Now shall I ever be with the Lord. 2. The careless sinner that would not seek the Lord when he comes to dye bids a doleful adieu to all his comforts farwel Friends Relations pleasures and delights for ever I shall never see a good day more But he that sought the Lord while he liv'd when he comes to dye says Behold I dye now farwel troubles temptations sin and sorrow for ever I am lanching forth into a glorious eternity I shall never see a sad day more 3. The wilful sinner when he is about to dye after all the counsels he hath slighted and now time shall be no more cries out with horrour I have for ever lost my opportunities of seeking God it is now too late I am left to perpetual howlings But the gracious Soul who hath sought and found God in seeking when he is about to dye looks back with delight upon all the Ordinances wherein he hath many times met with Christ and found God nigh to his soul and says I am going where I shall need Ordinances no more but God shall be all in all I am going to mine eternal rest to an everlasting Sabbath-keeping in Heaven 2. Whence doth that difference arise From the wisdom of the one and foolish inadvertency or rather obstinacy of the other one knew his season and did the things that did belong to his peace the other had his season but knew it not and now his misery is great upon him one sought after Christ that he might have an interest in him and make God his friend the other refused Christ and now God is his enemy and so death is to him the King of terrors But the believing soul can to allude to that in Isa. 11. 8 play upon the hole of the Asp and put his hand on the Cockatrice Den and when the pains of an irksom disease are upon him and pangs of death before him he says all these rackings and grievous aches be but like the ratling of the Charriot-wheels that Joseph sent to fetch his Father and his Brethren to him and all his wearisom waking nights be to him as the valley of Achor or door of Hope 1. Because he knows death is no death to him but a passage unto a glorious life with God whom 〈◊〉 hath sought and serv'd all his days he is but going unto his Beloved the Lord Jesus who is gone 〈◊〉 way before him 2. Because he looks on the Grave not as his Prison but a bed of Spices or rather the Saints Tyring-Room where they throw off mortality to put on immortality and lay aside corruption to put on incorruption I thought here to have spoken a word to the nearest Friends and
saw more of value than in any injoyments whatever it was what did concern my spiritual estate I begun to be much troubled about how such a poor sinful creature that was by natnre under the wrath and curse of God should escape this I did believe as I had been taught it was by a Redeemer I did also believe that there was no name given under Heaven by which I must be saved but the Lord Christ Jesus I did also much hearken to the tenders of Christ in the Gospel and how he invited sinners to himself and that he offered himself freely this gave me encouragement But as I had read and heard it was a strait gate and a narrow way few that find it this made me very careful lest I should be deceived And here came in the great question But how shall I know that God in Christ will accept me For many are called but few chosen God hath mercy on whom he will and it is not of him that willeth nor of him that runneth but of God that sheweth mercy This made me very diligent to hearken to marks and signs of grace The first that I remember troubled me was this understanding it was the common lot of all Gods People through many afflictions to enter into heaven This did much trouble me at that time and I was apt to think I should be able to bear any thing that God would lay on me so it might evidence to me the love of God to my soul but fool that I was I judged too soon for when it pleased the All-wise God to try me I quickly saw that my strength was but small by my fainting so much as I did in a day of adversity which by many sad experiences I can shew how unable to bear any thing when tryed However then I thought I could bear any thing from with out so all might be well within After this by a Providence I came to hear Mr. V. at St. Olaves the first Sermon that I heard him was on these words And all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her Prov. 3. 15. Wherein was set out the value of Jesus Christ above all that the world afforded which very much wrought on my heart with great longing after this Christ but still came this question How shall you know your interest However it pleased God so to bless his Ministry to me that usually I found my doubts so resolved and my heart so opened that I went away with great joy and comfort but for all this I was perplexed with dreadful thoughts after I had such peace and joy then Satan begun to work indeed I but is there such a God and such a Christ to be believed in How to answer this temptation I was at a great loss and would tell none what did ail me I mourned much under it and thought I questioned whether there was a God or no yet then I did not neglect praying and did as it were pour out my soul daily unto God for victory that he would not give me up to an unbelieving heart and of his free-grace who knew my soul in adversity by his word to send me relief Going to hear on a Lecture-day he then Preached on these words Hos. 2. 7. I will go and return to my first husband for then was it better with me than now It pleased God so to order it that he gave great caution against such thoughts saying Take heed poor soul when the Devil casteth in such thoughts Is there a God or a Christ Take heed for then Satan will have you in his snare This with many other things was set home on my heart then he did convince me by appealing to the Saints experience Is it not better to entertain good thoughts of God and of Christ was it not better with you then than now The Lord gave me so to close in with the truth of that word that I had great joy and peace through believing and went home full of comfort that God had so met me with a word By that means it pleased the Lord to give check to those unbelieving thoughts that so overcame me And yet to this day I have great cause to mourn for that unbelief I find in my heart notwithstanding all the experiences that God hath given me that Scripture doth often reprove me Heb. 3. 12. Take heed lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God After this I kept waiting at the posts of Wisdoms gate that I might understand the state of my soul which was the one thing necessary that I desired to look after and finding by the word Preached that the usual way and method of God was to strike the soul down as he did them in the second of the Acts and the Jaylor and the like this did raise in me great doubts what to think of my self because I could not find in my self such convictions of and humiliation for sin as was pressed and as to Original sin it did not seem much to affect me this did bring me into great fears However I took that way I had found comfort in which was by prayer to the Lord to bless his word to me Mr. V. was then on this Text Ephes. 2. 8. By grace are ye saved through faith and that not of your selves it is the gift of God To this I diligently hearken'd and received great support for all my objections seemed to be answered yet for all this I did as it were refuse to be comforted he being on signs of grace closed the Text with these two marks 1. A souls going on in a way of duty was a very hopeful sign 2. But the Spirit of God was the only infallible witness the spirit it self beareth witness with our spirit that we are the Children of God The first did comfort me the second did very much trouble me for I could not understand the meaning of the spirits witness which fearing lest I should be deceived in a matter of so great a concern made me give all diligence in reading and hearing that my doubts might be resolved but as yet no rest in my spirit and the more increased being the time to go into the Country where usually our family was this added much to my grief to be taken off from hearing Mr. V. I began to look more into the Scriptures and to pick up whatever did come suddenly into my mind and it pleased God to cast in many that seemed to comfort me which I wrote down in that year But then came this question These are marks and signs that belong to such and such Saints in Scripture But what is this to thee These thoughts much cast me down what to do I knew not but kept still praying and waiting on God and I found speedy relief when I least thought of it My Father being at Hammersmith I went constantly to hear there and that Summer several City-Ministers
did supply the place and among the rest I heard Mr. G. on these words Lord to whom shall we go thou hast the words of eternal life Joh. 6. 68. As I remember this was his Observation That soul that had once given up it self to could never bear a going off from Jesus Christ. His arguing thus with a doubting soul Try thy self cannot you bear a leaving of God then doubt not that he will leave you would you know whether God loves you consider do you love God for you could not love him unless he loved you first By these and several arguments the Lord was pleased so to set it home on my heart I may well forget the words my heart being so full of peace and joy through believing 1 Pet. 1. that I cannot express it being as I judg better felt than exprest it did seem at that time to me as if I had tasted of that joy unspeakable and full of glory I know not what to make of it except it were a sealing unto the day of redemption I thought then my joy being so great I could willingly have gone out of the body to have been with the Lord. I remember I went home and fell on my knees admiring the freeness of grace to such a worm as I crying out with the Apostle O the depth The sense of free-grace and rich mercy did much overcome me the which I hope I shall admire to all eternity O the goodness of God! when I had again and again refused to be comforted yet he waited to be gracious to me This I write and speak that God the Father and God the Son and God the Holy Ghost may have the glory of their own work When under my doubts and fears I seldom went to hear but the word did seem to speak unto me and several Scriptures came suddenly to my mind that did reprove and quiet and comfort me such as these Why art thou cast down O my soul and why art thou disquieted within me hope in God for I shall yet praise him This hath been made good unto me and that in the Psalm In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul and that it is good for me to draw near to God Psal. 73. 28. And that a day in thy courts is better than a thousand Psal. 84. 10. And I can truly say as David did I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God than to dwell in tents of wickedness Experienced I have that of Job I have esteemed thy word more than my necessary food Job 23. 12. I have had great support from that Scripture All that the Father giveth me shall come to me and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out Joh. 6. 37. I have often thought of that Scripture with joy Lord how is it that thou wilt manifest thy self unto me and not unto the world for who maketh thee differ from another and what hast thou that thou didst not receive I have again and again in these words and many more admired freeness of grace towards such a poor doubting soul as I was I doubt not but he which hath begun will finish his own work on Sarah Lye Amen Amen Thus far I have written a relation of the first 20 years of my age what was the great thing that most troubled me it was That I might have assurance of the love of God and a well-grounded hope of an interest in Christ that what the Lord Jesus had done and suffered might be applied unto me and having hopes through grace and rejoycing much in hopes of the glory of God which hope maketh not ashamed After this I began to have great tryals as to the loss of my relations my Parents that were very dear to me both dying within four Months this with many more troubles much cast me down yet to observe the Providences of God to me and how by his word he sent me relieving experiences should I set it down in order would swell to a great Volume Only thus much I may speak to the praise of God that when Father and Mother forsook God took me into his care and hath graciously provided for me and hath given me an Agurs portion which I beg'd of the Lord when but a Girl I can truly say All the ways of the Lord are and have been to me mercy and truth For this God I have chosen to be my God for ever and ever and I doubt not but he will be my guide even unto death And now my dear Child or Children that shall read of this way and method that the Lord did use in bringing me off from all things to himself take heed pray take heed you do not limit the holy One of Israel nor tye up God to this or any way of working the Lord worketh all things after the counsel of his own will but we are commanded to search our hearts and try our ways and to examine our selves and to give all diligence to make our calling and election sure Look that the work of conversion be wrought and leave time and way to the All-wise God that governs the world and orders all things to whom be glory for ever and ever Amen and Amen All that I have written in these few sheets is not out of any book but that of my own conscience no assister but the spirit and to no end but that God in all things may have glory for I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ hath not wrought in me FINIS Books sold by Tho. Parkhurst at the Bible and Three Crowns in Cheapside ONe Hundred select Sermons upon several occasions by Tho. Horton D. D. Sermons on the whole Epistle of Saint Paul to the Collossians by Mr. J. Daille translated into English by F. S. with Dr. Tho. Goodwin's and Dr. John Owens Epistles Recommendatory An Exposition of Christs Temptation on Matth. 4. and Peters Sermon to Cornelius and circumspect walking By Dr. Tho. Taylor A Practical Exposition on the third Chapter of the first Epistle of Saint Paul to the Corinthians with the Godly mans choice on Psalm 4. v. 6 7 8. by Anthony Burgess Forty six Sermons upon the whole eighth Chapter of the Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Romans Both by Tho. Horton D. D. late Minister of Saint Hellens An Analytical Exposition of Genesis and of twenty three Chapters of Exodus by George Hughes D. D. Books 4to The Door of Salvation opened by the Key of Regeneration by George Swinrock M. A. A Discourse of Actual Providence by John Collings D. D. An Exposition of the Five first Chapters of the Revelation of St. John by Charles Phelpes An Antidote against Quakerism by Step. Scandret An Exposition on the five first Chapters of Ezekiel with useful observations thereupon by William Greenhil The Gospel-Covenant opened by Pet. Bulkley Gods holy Mind touching matters Moral which he uttered in ten Commandments Also an Exposition on the Lords Prayer by Edward Eston B. D. The Fiery-Jesuit or an Historical Collection of the rise encrease doctrines and deeds of the Jesuits exposed to view for the sake of London Horologiographia optica Dyalling universal and particular speculative and practical together with a description of the Court of Arts by a new Method by Sylvanus Morgan The Practical Divinity of the Papists discovered to be destructive to true Religion and mens souls by J. Clarkson The Creatures goodness as they came out of Gods hand and the good-mans mercy to the bruit-creatures in two Sermons by Tho. Hodges B. D. Certain considerations tending to promote Peace and Unity amongst Protestants Mediocria or the most plain and natural apprehensions which the Scripture offers concerning the great Doctrines of the Christian Religion of Election Redemption the Covenant the Law and Gospel and Perfection The vanity of man in his best estate in a discourse on Psal. 39. 5. at the Funeral of the Lady Susanna Keate by Richard Kidder M. A. The Morning-Lectures against Popery or the principal Errors of the Church of Rome detected and confuted in a Morning-Lecture preached by several Ministers of the Gospel in or near London Four useful discourses 1 The art of improving a full and prosperous condition for the glory of God being an appendix to the art of Contentment in three Sermons on Phil. 4. 12. 2 Christian submission on 1 Sam. 3. 18. 3 Christ a Christians life and death is gain on Phil. 1. 21. 4 The Gospel of peace sent to the sons of peace in six Sermons on Luk. 10. 5 6. by Jeremiah Burroughs Dr. Wilds Letter of Thanks and Poems A new Copy-book of all sorts of useful hands The Saints priviledg by dying by Mr. Scot. The Vertuous Daughter a Funeral Sermon by Mr. Brian The Miracle of Miracles or Christ in our Nature by Dr. Rich. Sibbs