THE TOWN-FOPP OR Sir Timothy Tawdrey A COMEDY As it is Acted at his Royal Highness the DUKE's THEATRE Written by Mrs. A. Behn Licensed September 20. 1676. ROGER L'ESTRANGE LONDON Printed by T. N. for Iames Magnes and Rich. Bentley in Russel-street in Covent-garden near the Piazza's M.DC.LXXVII DRAMATIS PERSONAE Lord Plotwell Bellmour Nephew to the Lord Plotwell Contracted to Celinda Charles Brother to Bellmour Friendlove Brother to Celinda in Love with Diana Sir Timothy Tawdrey A Fopp Knight design'd to Marry Celinda Hangers on to Sir Timothy Sham Sharp Trusty An old Steward to Bellmour's Family Page and Dancers and Servants The Lady Diana Neece to the Lord Plotwell Celinda Sister to Friendlove Contracted to Bellmour Phillis Sister to Bellmour Betty Flauntit kept by Sir Timothy Driver A Bawd Two Whores Ienny Doll Nurse SCENE Covent-Garden PROLOGUE AS Countrey Squire who yet had never known The long expected joy of being in Town Whose careful Parents scarce permitted Heir To Ride from Home unless to Neighbouring Fair At last by happy Chance is hither led To purchase Clap with loss of Maidenhead Turns wond'rous Gay bedizen'd to Excess Till he is all Burlesque in Mode and Dress Learns to talk loud in Pit grows Wily too That is to say makes mighty Noise and Show So a young Poet who had never been Dabling beyond the height of Ballading Who in his brisk Essayes durst ne're excel The lucky flight of Rhiming Dogerel Sets up with this sufficient Stock on Stage And has perchance the luck to please the Age He draws you in like cozening Citizen Cares not how bad the Ware so Shop be fine As tawdry Gown and Petticoat gain more Tho' on a dull diseas'd ill-favor'd Whore Than prettier Frugal tho' on Holy-day When every City Spark has leave to Play Damn Her she must be Sound She is so Gay So let the Scenes be fine you 'll ne're inquire For Sence but lofty flights in nimble Wire What we Present to Day is none of these But we cou'd wish it were for we wou'd please And that you 'll swear we hardly meant to do Yet here 's no Sence Pox on 't but here 's no Show But a plain Story that will give a taste Of what your Grandsires lov'd i' th' Age that 's past THE TOWN-FOPP OR Sir TIMOTHY TAWDREY ACT. I. Scene 1. The Street Enter Sir Timothy Tawdrey Sham and Sharpe Sir Tim. HEreabouts is the House wherein dwells the Mistriss of my heart For she has money Boyes mind me money in abundance or she were not for me the Wench her self is good natur'd and inclin'd to be civil but a Pox on 't She has a Brother a conceited Fellow whom the world mistakes for a fine Gentleman for he has Travell'd talks Languages bows with a bone meine and the rest but by fortune he shall entertain you with nothing but words Sham. Nothing else Sir Tim. No He 's no Countrey Squire Gentlemen will not Game Whore nay in my Conscience you will hardly get your selves Drunk in his Company He Treats A-la-mode half Wine half Water and the rest But to the business this Fellow loves his Sister dearly and will not trust her in this lewd Town as he calls it without him and hither he has brought her to marry me Sham. A Pox upon him for his pains Sir Tim. So say I But my comfort is I shall be as weary of her as the best Husband of 'em all But there 's conveniency in it besides the match being as good as made up by the old Folks in the Countrey I must submit The Wench I never saw yet but they say she 's handsom But no matter for that there 's Money my Boyes Sharp Well Sir we will follow you but as dolefully as people do their Friends to the Grave from whence they 're never to return at least not the same substance the thin aiery Vision of a brave Good Fellow we may see thee hereafter but that 's the most Sir Tim. Your pardon sweet Sharp my whole design in it is to be Master of my self and with part of her Portion to set up my Miss Betty Flauntit which by the way is the main end of my â—arrying the rest you 'll have your shares of Now I am forcâ—d to take you up Suits at treble Prizes have damn'd Wine and Meat put upon us 'cause the Reckoning is to be Book'd But ready Money ye Rogues What Charms it has Makes the Waiters flie Boyes and the â—aster with Cap in hand excuse what 's amiss Gentlemen Your Worship shall command the best and the rest How briskly the Box and Dice dance and the ready Money submits to the lucky Gamester and the gay Wench consults with every Beauty to make her self agreeable to the Man with ready Money In fine dear Rogues All things are sacrific'd to it's pow'r and no Mortal conceives the joy of Argent Content 'T is this pow'rful God that makes me submit to the Devil Matrimony and then thou art assur'd of me my stout Lads of brisk Debauch Sham. And is it possible you can be ty'd up to a Wife Whil'st here in London and free you have the whole World to range in and like a wanton Heifer eat of every Pasture Sir Tim. Why dost think I 'll be confin'd to my own dull Enclosure No I had rather feed coarsly upon the boundless Common perhaps two or three dayes I may be in Love and remain constant but that 's the most Sharp And in three Weeks should you Wed a Cinthia you 'd be a Monster Sir Tim. What thou meanest a Cuckold I warrant God help thee But a Monster is only so from its Rarity and a Cuckold is no suchâ—strange thing in our Age. Enter Bellmour and Friendlove But who comes here Bellmour Ah my little dear Rogue How dost thou Ned Friendlove too Dear Lad how dost thou too Why welcome to Town i'faith and I 'm glad to see you both Friend Sir Tim. Tawdrey Sir Tim. The same by fortune dear Ned And how and how Man how go matters Friend Between who Sir Sir Tim. Why any body Man But by fortune I 'm overjoy'd to meet thee But where dost think I was going Friend Is' t possible one shou'd divine Sir Tim. Is' t possible you shou'd not and meet me so near your Sisters Lodgings Faith I was coming to pay my Respects and Services and the rest Thou know'st my meaning The old business of the Silver World Ned by Fortune it 's a mad Age we live in Ned and here be so many wicked Rogues about this damn'd lewd Town that 'Faith I am fain to speak in the vulgar modish stile in my own defence and Rally Matrimony and the rest Friend Matrimony I hope you are so exactly refin'd a Man of the Town that you will not offer once to think of so dull a thing let that alone for such cold complexions as Bellmour here and I that have not attain'd to that most excellent faculty
with sighs confess to me she Lov'd A Man she said scarce equal to her Fortune But all my interest could not learn the Object But it must needs be you by what she said This I 'll improve and so to your advantage Friend I neither doubt thy Industry nor Love Go and be careful of my Int'rest there Whilst I preserve thine as intirely here Ex. severally Scene 2. Enter Sir Timothy Sham and Sharp Sharp Good morrow Sir Timothy what not yet ready and to meeâ— Mr. Bellmour at five the time 's past Sir Tim. Ay Pox on 't I han't slep to night for thinking on 't Sham Well Sir Timothy I have most excellent News for you that will do as well I have found out Sir Tim. A new Wench I warrant but prethee Sham I have â—â—ther matters in hand ' Sheart I am so mortifi'd with this same thoughâ— of Fighting that I shall hardly think of Woman kind again Sharp You were so forward Sir Timothy Sir Tim. Ay Sharp I am alwayes so when I 'm angry had I been but a little more provok'd then that we might have gone to 't when the heat was brisk I had done well but a Pox on 't this fighting in cool blood I hate Sham. ' Shaw Sir 't is nothing a Man wou'd do 't for Exercise in a morning Sir Tim. Ay if there were no more in 't than Exercise if a Man coâ—'d take a Breathing without breathing a Vein but Sham this Wounds and Blood sounds terribly in my ears but since thou say'st 't is nothing prethee do thou meet Bellmour in my stead thou art a poor Dog and 't is no matter if the world were well rid of thee Sham. I wou'd do 't with all my Soul but your Honour Sir Sir Tim. My Honour 't is but Custom that makes it Honourable to fight Duels I warrant you the wise Italian thinks himself a Man of Honour and yet when did you hear of an Italian that ever fought a Duel Is' t not enough I am affronted have my Mistriss taken away before my face hear my self call'd Dull Common Man Dull Animal and the rest But I must after all give him leave to kill me too if he can And this is your damn'd Honourable English way of shewing a Mans Courage Sham. I must confess I am of your mind and therefore have been studying a Revenge sutable to the Affront and if I can judge any thing I have hit it Sir Tim. Hast thou dear Sham out with it Sham. Why Sir what think you of debauching his Sister Sir Tim Why is there such a thing in Nature Sham. You know he has a Sister Sir Sir Tim. Yes Rich and Fair. Sham. Both or she were not worthy of your Revenge Sir Tim. Oh how I love Revenge that has a double pleasure in it and where and where is this fine piece of temptation Sham. In being Sir but Sharp here and I have been at some cost in finding her out Sir Tim. Ye shall be overpaid there 's Gold my little Maquero but she 's very handsom Sharp As a Goddess Sir Sir Tim. And art thou sure she will be Lewd Sharp Are we sure she 's a Woman Sir Sure she 's in her Teens has Pride and Vanity and two or three Sins more that I cou'd â—ame all which never fails to assist a Woman in Debauchery But Sir there are certain people that bâ—long to her that must be consider'd too Sir Tim. Stay Sir e're I part with more money I 'll be certain what returns 't will make me that is I 'll see the Wench not to inform my self how well I like her for that I shall do because she is new and Bellmours Sister but to find what possibility there is in gaining her I am us'd to these things and can â—uess from a look or a kiss or a touch of the hand but then I warrant 't will come to the knowledge of Betty Flauâ—tit Sham What Sir then it seems you doubt us Sir Tim. How do you mean your honesty or judgment I can assure you I doubt both Sharp How Sir doubt our honesty Sir Tim. Yes why I hope neither of you pretend to either do you Sham. Why Sir what do you take us for Cheats Sir Tim. As errant as any 's in Christendom Sharp How Sir Sir Tim. Why how now what flie in my face are youâ— stomachs so queasie that Cheat won't down with you Sham. Why Sir we are Gentlemen and tho' our ill Fortunes have thrown us on your Bounty we are not to be term'd Sir Tim. Why you pair of Hectors whence this impudence De' e you know me ye Raggamuffins Sham. Yes but we knew not that you were a Coward before You talkt big and huft where eâ—re you came like an errant Bully and so long we Reverenc'd you but now we find you have need of our Courage we 'll stand on our Reputations Sir Tim. Câ—urage and Reputation hâ— ha ha why ye lowsie Tatterdemallions dare ye talk of Courage and Reputation Sharp Why Sir who dares question either Sir Tim. He that dares try it Kiâ—ks ' em Sharp Hold Sir hold Sham. Enough enough we are satisfi'd Sir Tim. So am not I ye mangy Mungrels till I have kickt Courage and Reputation out of ye Sham. Hold there Sir â—tis enough we are satisfi'd that you have Courage Sir Tim. Oh are you so then it seems I was not to be believ'd I told you I had Courage when I was angry Sham Ay Sir we have prov'd it and will now swear it But we had an inclination to try Sir Sir Tim. And all you did was but to try my Courage hah Sharp On our Honours nothing else Sir Timothy Sir Tim Thoâ— I know ye to be cursed cowardly lying Rogues Yâ—t because I have use of ye I must forgive ye Here kiss my hand and be forgiven Sham. 'T is an Honour we are proud of Sir Sir Tim. Oh is it so Rascallians then I hope I am to see the Lady without Iâ—dentures Sharp Oh Lord Sir any thing we can serve you in Sham. And I have brib'd her Maid to bring her this morning into the Mâ—ll Sir Tim. Well let 's about it then for I am for no Fighting to day De' e hear Boy Let the Coach be got ready whilst I get my self drest Boy The Coach Sir Why you know Mr Shatter has pawn'd the Horses Sir Tim. I had forgot it A Pox on 't this 't is to have a Partner in a Coach By Fortune I must Marry and set up a whole one Ex. Scene 3. Enter Charles Bellmour and Trusty Trusty Mr Charles your Brother my young Master Bellmour is come Char. Iâ—m glad on 't my Unkle began to be impatient that he came not you saying you left him but a dayes journey behind you yesterday My Unkle has something of importance to say to him I fansie it may be about a Marriage between him and my Lady Diana such a whisper I heard Trusty I
Marry Sir that were a Match indeed she being your Unkles onely Heir Char. Ay but they are Sisters Children and too near akin to be happy Trusty 'T were pity my young Master shou'd be unhappy in a Wife for he is the sweetest natur'd Gentleman But one comfort is Mr Charles you and your Sister Mrs â—hillis will have your Portions assign'd you â—f he Marry Char. Yes that he can't deny us the very day after his Marriage Trusty I shall be glad to see you all dispos'd of well but I was half afraid your Brother wou'd have Married Mrs Celinda Friendlove to whom he made notable Love in Yorkshire I thought not but she 's a fine Lady but her Fortune is below that of my young Masterâ— as much as my Lady Diana's is above his But see they come let us retire to give 'em leave to talk alone Exeunt Enter Lord Plotwell and Bellmour Lord. And well Frank how dost thou find thy self inclin'd thoâ—â—â—oâ—'dst begin to think of something more than Books Dost thou not wish to know the joyes that are to be found in a woman Frank I well remember at thy age I fancy'd a thousand fine things of that kind Bell. Ay my Lord a thousand more perhaps than are to be found Lord. Not so but I confess Frank unless the Lady be fair and there be some Love too 't is not altogether so well therefore I who am still busie for thy good have fixt upon a Lady Bell. Ha! Lord. What dost start Nay I 'll warrant thee she 'll please A Lady rich and fair and Nobly born and thou shalt Marry her Frank. Bell. Marry her my Lord Lord. Why yes Marry her I hope you are none of the fashionable Fopps that are alwayes in mutiny against Marriage who never think themselves very witty but when they rail against Heav'n and a Wife But Frank I have found better Principles in thee and thou hast the Reputation of a sober young Gentleman thou art besides a Man of great Fortune Frank. Bell. And therefore Sir ought the less to be a Slave Lord. But Frank we are made for one another and ought by the Laws of God to communicate our blessings Bell. Sir there are Men enough fitter much than I to obey those Laws nor do I think them made for every one Lord. But Frank you do not know what a Wife I have provided foâ— you Bell. 'T is enough I know she 's a Woman Sir Lord. A Woman why what should she be else Bell. An Angel Sir e're she can be my Wife Lord. In good time but this is a Mortal Sir and must serve your turn but Frank she is the finest Mortal Bell. I humbly beg your pardon if I tell you That had she Beauty such as Heav'n ne're made Nor meant again t' inrich a Woman with It cou'd not take my heart Lord. But Sir perhaps you do not guess the Lady Bell. Or cou'd I Sir it cou'd not change my nature Lord. But Sir suppose it be my Neece Diana Bell. How Sir the fair Diana Lord. I thought thou'dst come about again What think you now of Woman-kind and Wedlock Bell. As I did before my Lord. Lord. What thou canst not think I am in earnest I confess Frank she is above thee in point of Fortune she being my onely Heir but suppose 't is she Bell. Oh I 'm undone Sir I dare not suppose so greatly in favour of my self Lord. But Frank you must needs suppose Bell. Oh I am ruin'd lost for ever lost Lord. What do you mean Sir Bell. I mean I cannot Marry fair Diana Lord. Death how 's this Bell. She is a thing above my humble wishes Lord. Is that all take you no care for that for she loves you already and I have resolv'd it which is better yet Bell. Love me Sir I know she cannot And Heav'n forbid that I should injure her Lord. Sir this is a put-off resolve quickly or I 'll compel you Bell. You wouâ—d not use extremity What is the forfeit of my disobedience Lord. The loss of all your Fortune If you refuse the Wife I have provided Especially a handsom Lady â—s she is Frank. Bell. Oh me unhappy What cursed Laws provided this severity Lord. Even those of your Fathers disposal who seeing so many examples in this lewd Age of the ruine of whole Families by imprudent Marriages provided otherwise for you Bell. But Sir admit Diana be inclin'd And I by my unhappy Stars so curst Should be unable to accept the Honour Lord. How Sir admit I can no more admit Than you can suppose therefore give me your final answer Bell. Sir can you think a blessing e're can fall Upon that Pair whom Interest joins not Love Lord. Why what 's in Diana that you shou'd not love her Bell. I must confess she has a thousand Virtues The least of which wou'd bless another Man But Sir I hope if I am so unhappy As not to love that Lady you will pardon me Lord. Indeed Sir but I will not love me this Lady and marry me this Lady or I will teach you what it is to refuse such a Lady Bell. Sir t is not in my power to obey you Lord. How not in your pow'r Bell. No Sir I see my fatal râ—ine in your eyes And know too well your force and my own misery But Sir when I shall tell you who I 've married Lord. Who you 've married By all that 's Sacred if that be true thou art undone for ever Bell. Oh hear me Sir I came with hopes to have found you merciful Lord. Expect none from me no thou shalt not have so much of thy Estate as will afford thee Bread By Heaven thou shalt not Bell. Oh pity me my Lord pity my Youth It is no Beggar nor none basely born That I have given my heart â—o but a Maid Whose Birth whose Beauty and whose Education Merits the best of Men. Lord. Very fine where is the Priest that durst dispose of you without my order Sirrah you are my slave at least your whole Estate is at my mercy and besides I 'll charge you with an Action of 5000 l. for your ten Years maintenance Do you know that this is in my pow'r too Bell. Yes Sir and dread your Anger worse than death Lord. Oh Villain thus to dash my expectation Bell. Sir on my bended knees thus low I fall To beg your mercy Lord. Yes Sir I will have mercy Iâ—ll give you Lodging but in a Dungeon Sir Where you shall ask your food of Passers by Bell. All this I know you have the power to do But Sir were I thus cruel this hard usage Would give me cause to execute it I wear a Sword and I dare right my self And Heav'n wou'd pardon it if I should kill you But Heav'n forbid I shou'd correct that Law Which gives you power and orders me obedience Lord. Very well Sir I shall â—ame that Courage and punish that Harlot who e're she be that
has seduc'd ye Bell. How Harlot Sir Death such another word And through all Laws and Reason I will rush And reach thy Soul if mortal like thy Body No Sir she 's Chaste as are the new-made Vows I breath'd upon her Lips when last we parted Lord. Who waits there Enter Trusty and Servants Shall I be murder'd in my own House 'T is time you were remov'd Go get an Action of 5000 l. enter'd against him With Officers to Arrest him Trusty My Lord 't is my young Master Bellmour Lord. Ye all dote upon him but he 's not the Man you take him for Trusty How my Lord not this Mr Bellmour Lord. Dogs obey me Offers to go Bell. Stay Sir oh stay what will become of me 'T were better that my Life were lost than Fortune For that being gone Celinda must not love me But to die wretchedly Poorly in Prison whilst I can manage this Is below him that does adore Celinda Draws I 'll kill my self but then I kill Celinda Shou'd I obey this Tyrant then too she dies Yes Sir You may be cruel take the Law And kill me quickly 't will become your justice Weeps Lord. Was I call'd back for this Yes I shall take it Sir do not fear Offers to go Bell. Yet stay Sir Have you lost all Humanity Have you no Seâ—se of Honour nor of Horrors Lord. Away with him go be gone Bell. Stay Sir oh God! what is' t you 'd have me do Here I resign my self unto your will But oh Celinda what will become of thee Weeps Yes I will Marry and Diana too Lord. 'T is well you will had I been good natur'd now You had been undone and mist Diana too Bell. But must I Marry Needs Marry Sir Or lose my Fortune and my Liberty Whil'st all my Vows are given to another Lord. By all means Sir Belâ— If I must Marry any but Celinda I shall not Sir enjoy one moments bliss I shall be quite unman'd Cruel and Brutal A Beast unsafe for Woman to converse with Besides Sir I have given my Heart and Faith And any second Marriage is Adultery Lord. Heart and Faith I am glad 't is no worse if the Ceremony of the Church has not past 't is well enough Bell. All Sir that Heaven and Love requires is past Lord. Thou art a Fool Frank come dry thy Eyes And receive Diana Trusty Call in my Neece Bell. Yet Sir relent be kind and save my soul. Ex. Trusty Lord. No more by Heaven if you resist my Will I 'll make a strange example of thee and of that Woman who e're she be that drew thee to this folly Faith and Vows quoth ye Bell. Then I obey Enter Trusty and Diana Lord. Look ye here Frank is this a Lady to be dislik'd Come hither Frank Trusty Haste for Dr. Tickletext my Chaplain's not in Town I 'll have them instantly Married Come hither Diana Diana will you Marry your Cozen Frank Bellmour Dia. Yes if it be your pleasure Heaven cou'd not let fall a greater blessing Aside Lord. And you Frank will you Marry my Neece Diana Bell. Since you will have it so Lord. Come follow me then and you shall be both pleas'd Bell. Oh my Celinda To preserve thee what is' t I wou'd not do Forfeit my Heaven nay more I forfeit you Ex. Scene 4. The Street Enter Sir Timothy Tawdrey Sâ—am and Sharp Sir Tim. Now Sham art not thou a damn'd lying Rogue to make me â—aunter up and down the Mall all this morning after a Woman that thou knowst in thy Conscience was not likely to be there Sham. Why Sir if her Maid will be a jilting Whore how can I help it Sharp Thou knowst we presented her handsomly and she protested she 'd do 't Sharp Ay Ay Sir Aside but the Devil a Maid we saw Sham. Sir it may be Things have so fallen out that she could not possibly come Sir Tim. Things a Pox of your Tricks Well I see there 's no trusting a poor Devil Well what device will your Rogueship find out to Cheat me next Sham. Prethee help me out at a dead Lift Sharp Aside Sharp Cheat you Sir If I been't reveng'd on this She-Counsellor of the Patching and Painting this Letter-in of Midnight Lovers this Receiver of Bribes for stol'n Pleasures may I be condemn'd never to make Love to any thing of higher quality Sir Tim. Nay nay no Threatning Sharp it may be she 's Innocent yet Give her t'other Bribe and try what that will do Gives him money Sham. No Sir I 'll have no more to do with frail Woman in this case I have a surer way to do your business Enter Page with a Letter Sir Tim. Is not that Bellmour's Page Sharp It is Sir Sir Tim. By Fortune the Rogue 's looking for me he has a Challenge in his hand too Sham. No matter Sir Huff it out Sir Tim Prethee do thee Huff him thou knowst the way on 't Sham. What 's your bus'ness with Sir Timothy Sir Page Mine Sir I don't know the Gentleman pray which is he Sir Tim. I I 't is so Pox on him Sharp Well Boy I am he what Your Master Page My Master Sir Sharp Are not you Bellmour's Page Page Yes Sir Sharp Well your News Page News Sir I know of none but of my Masters being this morning Sir Tim. Ay there it is behind Southampton House Page Married this morning Sir Tim. How Marry'd ' Slife has he serv'd me so Sham. The Boy is drunk Bellmour Married Page Yes indeed to the Lady Diana Sir Tim. Diana Mad by Fortune what Diana Page Neece to the Lord Plotwell Sir Tim. Come hither Boy Art thou sure of this Page Sir I am sure of it and I am going to bespeak Musick for the Ball anon Sir Tim. What hast thou there a Letter to the Divine Celinda A dainty Boy there 's money for thee to buy Nickers Page I humbly thank you Exit Shâ—rp Well Sir if this be true Celinda will be glad of you again Sir Tim. Ay but I will have none of her For look you Sham there is but two sorts of Love in this World Now I am sure the Rogue did love her and since it was not to Marry her it was for the thing you wot on as appears by his writing to her now But yet I will not believe what this Boy said till I see it Sham. Faith Sir I have thought of a thing that may both clear your doubt and give us a little mirth Sir Tim. I conceive thee Sham. I know y' are quick of apprehension Sir Timothy Sir Tim. O your servant dear Sham But to let thee see I am none of the dullest we are to Jigg it in Masquerade this evening hah Sham. Faith Sir you have it and there you may have an opportunity to Court Bellmour's sister Sir Tim. 'T is a good motion and we will follow it send to the Dukes House and borrow some Habits presently Sham. I 'll about it Sir
true these Eyes confirm my Fate Yonder he is and that fair splendid thing That gazes on him with such kind desire Is my blest Rival oh he is Married Gods and yet you let him live Live too with all his Charms as fine and gay As if you meant he shou'd undo all easie Maids And kill 'em for their sin of loving him Wretched Celinda But I must turn my Eyes from looking on The fatal triumphs of my death Which of all these Is my Brother Oh this is he I know him By the Habit he sent for to the Play-house Points to Sir Tim. And hither he 's come in Masquerade I know with some design against my Bellmour Whom tho' he kill me I must still preserve Whil'st I lost in despair thus as a Boy Will seek a Death from any welcome hand Since I want Courage to perform the Sacrifice Enter one and dances an Entry and a Iigg at the end on 't Lord. Enough enough at this time let 's see the Bride to Bed the Bridegroom thinks it long Friend Hell Can I endure to hear all this with patience Shall he depart with Life to enjoy my Right And to deprive my Sister of her due Stay Stay and resign That Virgin Bell. Who art thou that dar'st lay a claim to ought that 's here Friend This Sword shall answer ye Draws Bell. Tho' I cou'd spare my Life I 'll not be rob'd on 't Draws Dia. Oh my dear Bellmour All draw on Bellmour's side Diana holds Bellmour Celinda runs between their Swords and defends Bellmour Sir Tim. Sham and Sharp draw and run into several corners with signs of fear Friend Who art thou that thus fondly guard'st his heart To Celinda Be gone and let me meet it Cel. That thou may'st do through mine but no way else Friend Here are too many to encounter and I 'll defer my vengeance Char. Stay Sir we must not part so Ex. Drawing at the â—ame door â—hat Sirâ— Tim. is sneaking out at Come back I say Pulls in Sir Tim Slave dost thou tremble Sir Tim. Sir I 'm not the Man you look for By Fortune Sham we 're all undone He has mistook me for the fighting Fellow Char. Villain defend thy Life Sir Tim. Who I Sir I have no quarrel to you nor no Man breathing not I by Fortune Cel. This Coward cannot be my Brother Aside Char. What made thee draw upon my Brother Sir Tim. Who I Sir by Fortune I love him I draw upon him Char. I do not wonder thou canst lye for thou'â—â— a Coward Didâ— not thou draw upon him Is not thy Sword yet out Did I not see thee fierce and active too as if thou hadst dar'd Sir Tim. Why he 's gone Sir a Pox of all Mistakes and Masqueradings I say this was your Plot Sham. Char. Coward shew then thy face Sir Tim. I 'll be hangâ—d first by Fortune for then 't will be plain 't was I because I challeng'd Bellmour last night and broke my assignation this morning Aside Char. Shew thy face without delay or Sir Tim. My face Sir I protest by Fortune 't is not worth seeing Char. Then Sirra you are worth a kicking take that and that Kicks him Sir Tim. How Sir how Char. So Sir so Kicks him again Sir Tim. Have a care Sir by Fortune I shall fight with a little more Char. Take that to raise you Strikes him Sir Tim. Nay then I am angry and I dare fight They fight out Lord. Go Ladies see the Bride to her Chamber Ex. Women Bell. The Knight Sir Timothy Tawdrey The Rascal mist me at the appointed place And comes to attack me here Turns to Cel. Brave Youth I know not how I came to merit this Relief from thee Sure thou' rt a stranger to me thou' rt so kind Cel. Sir I believe those happy ones that know you Had been far kinder but I 'm indeed a stranger Bell. May'st thou be ever so to one so wretched I will not ask thy name lest knowing it I am such a Monster I should ruine thee Cel Oh how he melts my Soul I cannot stay Lest Grief my Sex and Bus'ness shou'd betray Aside Farewell Sir May you be happy in the Maid you love Ex. Cel. Bell. Oh dost thou mock my griefs by Heaven he did Stay Sir he 's gone Enter Charles Bellmour Char. The Rogue took courage when he saw there was not remedy but there 's no hurt done on either side Lord. 'T is fit such as he shou'd be chastis'd that do abuse Hospitality Come come to Bed the Lady Sir expects you Bell. Gentlemen good night Ex. Enter Diana Scene a Bedchamber Dia. I long to know the cause of Bellmour's disorder to night And here he comes Enter Bellmour Lord Charles and the rest Char. Shan't we see you laid Brother Bell. Yes in my Grave dear Charles But I 'll excuse that Ceremony here Char. Good night and no rest to you Brother Ex. all but Bellmour and Diana Dia. Till now my Bellmour I wanted opportunity To ask the cause why on a joyful day When Heaven has join'd us by a sacred tye Thou droopst like early Flowers with Winter storms Bell. Thou art that Winter storm that nips my Bud All my young springing hopes my gay desires The prospect of approaching joyes of Love Thou in a hapless minute hast took from me And in its room Hast given me an eternal desperation Dia. Have you then given me Vows ye can repent of Bell. I given ye Vows be witness ye just Powers How far I was from giving any Vows No no Diana I had none to give Dia. No Vows to give What were they which to the holy Man Thou didst repeat when I was made all thine Bell. The effects of low submission such as Slaves Condemn'd to dye yield to the angry Judge Dia. Dost thou not love me then Bell. Love thee no by Heaven yet wish I were so happy For thou art wondrous fair and wondrous good Dia. Oh what a defeat is here The onely Man who from all Natures store I found most charming fit for my desires And now after a thousand expectations Such as all Maids that Love like me do hope Just ready for the highest joyes of Love Then to be met thus cold nay worse with scorn Aside Why since you could not love me did you marry me Bell. Because I was a Beast a very Villain That stak'd a wretched Fortune to all my joyes of Life And like a prodigal Gamester lost that all Dia. How durst you Sir knowing my Quality Return me this false Pay for Love so true Was this a Beauty Sir to be neglected Bell. Fair angry Maid frown on frown till you kill And I shall dying bless those Eyes that did so For shou'd I live I shou'd deprive the happier World Of treasures I am too wretched to possess And wer 't not pity that vast store of Beauty Shou'd like rich Fruit dye on the yielding Boughs Dia. And are you then resolv'd
Sir Tim. Make haste to my Lodging But heark ye not a word of this to Betty â—launtit â—he'll be up in Arms these two dayes if she go not with us and thoâ— I think the fond Devil is true to me yet â—twere worse than Wedlock if I should be so to her to Tho' Whores in all things else the Mast'ry get In this alone like Wives they must submit The End of theâ— Second Act. ACT. III. Scene 1. The Street Enter Lord Plotwell Bellmour leading in Diana follow'd by Charles Bellmour Phillis and other Ladies and Gentlemen Musick playâ—s till they are all seated Lord. HEre Nephew I resign that Trust which was repos'd in me by your dead Father which was that on your Wedding day I should thus make you Master of your whole Fortune you being Married to my liking And now Charles and you my Neece Phillis you may demand your Portions to morrow if you please for he is oblig'd to pay you the day after that of his Marriage Phill. There 's time enough my Lord. Lord. Come come Ladies in troâ—h you must take but little rest to night in complasance to the Bride and Bridegroom who I believe will take but little Frank why Frank what hast thou chang'd thy humor with thy condition thou wert not wont to hear the Musick play in vain Bell. My Lord I cannot dance Dia. Indeed you 're wondrous sad And I methinks too bear thee company I know not why and yet excess of joy Have had the same effects with equal grief Bell. 'T is true and I have now felt the extremes of both Lord. Why Nephew Charles has your breeding at the Academy instructed your heels in no motion Char. My Lord I 'll make one Phill. And I another for joy that my Brother 's made happy in so fair a Bride Bell. Hell take your ignorance for thinking I am happy Wou'd Heavâ—n wou'd strike me dead That by the loss of a poor wretched life I might preserve my soul but oh my erro That has already damn'd it self when it consented To break a Sacred Vow and Marry here Lord. Come come begin begin Musick to your office Soft Musick Bell. Why does not this hard heart this stubborn Fugitive Break with this Load of Griefs but like ill Spirits It promis'd fair till it had drawn me in And then betray'd me to Damnation Dia. There 's something in disorder in his Soul Which I'm on fire to know the meaning of Enter Sir Timothy Sham and Sharp in Masquerade Sir Tim. The Rogue is Married and I am so pleas'd I can forgive him our last Nights quarrel prithee Sharp if thou canst learn that young things name 't is a pretty airy Rogue whilâ—st I go talk to her Sharp I will Sir I will One goes â—to take out a Lady Char. Nay Madam you must dance Dance Bell. I hope you will not call it Rudeness Madam if I refuse you here The Lady that danc't goes to take out the Bridegroom After the Dance she takes out Sir Timothy they walk a Câ—rrant Am I still tame and patient with my ills Gods What is Man That he can live and bare Yet know his pow'r to rid himself of grief I will not live or if my destiny Compel me to 't it shall be worse than dying Enter Page with a Table Book Bell. What 's this Page The answer of a Letter Sir you sent to the Divine Celinda for so it was directed Bell. Hah Celinda in my crowd of thoughts I had forgot I sent come nearer Boy What did she say to thee Did she not smile And use thee with contempt and scorn tell me Page How scorn Sir Bell. Or she was angry call'd me perjur'd Villain False and forsworn nay tell me truth Page How Sir Bell. Thou dost delay me say she did and please me Page Sir Bell. Again tell me what answer Rascal did she send me Page You have it Sir there in the Table Book Bell. Oh I am mad and know not what I do Prithee forgive me Boy take breath my Soul Before thou dost begin for this perhaps may be So cruel kind To leave thee none when thou hast ended it Opeâ—s it and reads LETTER I Have took in the Poyson which you sent in these few Fatal words Forgive me my Celinda I am Married 'T was thus you said And I have only Life left to return Forgive me my sweet Bellmour I am dead CELINDA Can I hear this and live I am a Villain In my Creation destin'd for all mischief To commit Rapes and Murders to break Vows As fast as Fools do Jests Come hither Boy And said the Lady nothing to thee Page Yes e're she read the Letter ask'd your health And joy disperst it self in blushes through her cheeks Bell. Her bâ—auty makes the very Boy adore it Page And having read it She drew her Tablets from her Pocket And trembling writ what I have brought you Sir Bell. Tho' I before had loaded up my Soul With sins that wou'd have weigh'd down any other Yet this one more it bears this sin of Murder And holds out still What have I more to do But being plung'd in in blood to wade it through Enter Friendlove in Masquerade A Iigg Friend There stands the Traytor with a guilty look That Traytor who the easier to deceive me Betray'd my Sister yet till I came and saw The Perjury I could not give a Faith to 't By Heaven Diana loves him nay dotes on him I find it in her Eyes all languishing They feed the fire in his arm'd with a double Rage I know I shall go through with my Revenge Sir Tim. Fair Maid Phill. How do you know that Sir Sir Tim. I see y' are fair and I guess you 're a Maid Phill. Your guess is better than your eye-sight Sir Sir Tim. What e're you are by Fortune I wish you would permit me to love you with all faults Phill. You Pray who are you Sir Tim. A Man a Gentleman and more a Knight too by Fortune Phill. Then 't was not by merit Sir But how shall I know you are either of these Sir Tim. That I 'm a Man the effects of my vigorousâ— fâ—ame shall prove a Gentleman my Coat of Arms shall testifie and I have the Kings Patent for my Title Phill. For the first you may thank your Youth for the next your Father and the last your Money Sir Tim. By Fortune I love thee for thy pertness Phill. Is it possible you can love at all Sir Tim. As much as I dare Phill. How de ye mean Sir Tim. Not to be laught aâ— 't is not the Mode to love much A Platonick Fopp I have heard of but this is an Age of sheere enjoyment and little Love goes to that we have found it incommode and loss of time to make long Addresses Enter Celinda like a Boy Phill. I find Sir you and I shall never agree upon this matter But see Sir hereâ—s more company Cel. Oh Heav'n 't is
Driv Truly Mrs. Flauntit this young Squire that you were sent to for has two or three persons more with him that must be accommodated too Flaunt Driver tho' I do recreate my self a little sometimes yet you know I value my Reputation and Honour Ienny Mrs. Driver why shou'd you send for us where Flauntit is stinking proud Flirt who because she has a tawdrey Petticoat I warrant you will think her self so much above us when if she were set out in her own natural colours and her original garments wou'd be much below us in beauty Mrs. Driv Look ye Mrs. Ienny I know you and I know Mrs. Flauntit but 't is not Beauty or Wit that takes now adayes the Age is alter'd since I took upon me this Gentile Occupation but 't is a fine Petticoat right Points and clean Gaâ—nitures that does me credit and takes the Gallant tho' on a stale Woman And again Mrs. Ienney she 's kept and Men love as much for Malice as for Lechery as they call it Oh 't is a great mover to joy as they say to have a Woman that 's kept Ien. Well! be it so we may arrive to that excellent degree of Cracking to be kept too one day Mrs. Driv Well well get your selves in order to go up to the Gentlemen Flaunt Driver what art thou talking to those poor creatures Lord how they stink of Paint and Pox faugh Mrs. Driv They were only complaining that you that were kept shou'd intrude upon the priviledges of the Commoners Flaunt Lord they think there are such joyes in keeping when I vow Driver after awhile a Miss has as painful a life as a Wife our Meâ—â—rink stay out late and Whore like any Husbands Driv But I hope in the Lord Mrs. Flauntit yours is no such Man I never saw him but I have heard he is under decent correction Flaunt Thou art mistaken Driver I can keep him within no moderatâ— bounds without blows but for his filthy custom of Wenching I have almost broke him of that but prethee Driver who are these Gentlemen Driv Truly I know not but they are young and fine as Princes two of 'em were disguis'd in Masquing Habits last night but they have sent 'em away this morning and they 're free as Emperors one of 'em has lost a thousand pounds at Play and never repin'd at it one 's a Knight and I believe his courage is cool'd for he has ferretted my Maids over and over to night But 't is the fine young handsom Squire thâ—t I design you for Flaunt No matter for his handsomness let me have him that has most money Ex. Scene a Chamber a Tablâ— with Box and Dice Enter Bellmour Sir Timothy Sham and Sharp Bell. Damn it give us more Wine Drinks Where stands the Box and Dice Why Sham. Sham. Faith Sir your luck 's so bad I han't the conscience to play longer Sir Timothy and you play off a hundred Guinneys and see if luck will turn Bell. Do you take me for a Countrey Squire whose Reputation will be crackt at the loss of a petty thousand you have my Note for 't to my Goldsmith Sham. 'T is sufficient if it were for ten thousand Bell Why Sir Timothy Pox on 't thou' rt dull we are not half dâ—baucht and lewd enough give us more Wine Sir Tim. Faith Franck I 'm a little maukish with sitting up all night and want a small refreshment this morning Did we not send for Whores Bell. No I am not in humor for a Wench By Heaven I hate the Sex All but divine Celinda Appear strange Monsters to my eyes and thoughts Sir Tim. What art Italianiz'd and lovest thy own Sex Bell. I 'm for any thing that 's out of the common Road of Sin I love a Man that will be damn'd for something To creep by slow degrees to Hell as if he were afraid the World shou'd see which way he went I scorn it 't is like a Conventickler No give me a Man who to be certain of 's damnation will break a Solemn Vow to a Contracted Maid Sir Tim. Ha ha ha I thought thou wou'dst have said at least had murder'd his Father or ravishâ—d his Mother break a Vow quoth ye by Fortune I have broke a thousand Bell. Well said my Boy a Man of Honour and will be ready when e're the Devil calls for thee So ho more Wine more Wine and Dice Enter a Servant with Dice and Wine Come Sir let me Throws and loses Sir Tim What will you set me Sir Bell. Cater Tray a hundred Guinneys oh damn the Dice 't is mine come a full Glass Damnation to my Uncle Sir Tim. By Fortune I 'll do thee reason give me the Glass and Sham to thee Confusion to the musty Lord. Bell. So now I 'm like my self profanely wicked A little room for life but such a life As Hell it self shall wonder at I 'll have a care To do no one good deed in the whole course on 't Lest that shou'd save my Soul in spite of Vow-breach I will not dye that peace my sins deserve not I 'll live and let my Tyrant Uncle see The sad effects of Perjury and forc'd Marriage Surely the Powers above envy'd my bliss Marrying Celinda I had been an Angel So truly blest and good Weeps Sir Tsm. Why how now Franck by Fortune the Rogue is Maudlin So ho ho so-ho Bell. The matter Sir Tim. Oh art awake What a Devil ayl'st thou Franck Bell. A Wench or any thing come letâ—s drink a rounâ— Sham. They 're come as wisht for Enter Flauntit Driver Doll and Jenny mask'd Bell. Oh Damn ' em What shall I do Yet it wou'd look like Virtue to avoid ' em No I must venture on Ladies y' are welcom Sir Tim. How the Women Hold hold Bellmour let me choose too Come come unmask and shew your pretty Faces Flaunt How Sir Timothy What Devil ow'd me a spite Aside Sir Tim. Come unmask I say a willing Wench wou'd have shew'd all in half this time Flaunt Wouâ—d she so Impâ—dence Pulls off her Mask Sir Tim. How my Betty Flaunt This is the Trade you drive you eternal Fopp when I sit at home expecting you night after night Sir Tim. Nay dear Betty Flaunt 'T is here you spend that which should buy me Points and Petticoats whil'st I go like no bodies Mistriss I 'd as live be your Wife at this rate so I had and I 'm in no small danger of getting the Foul Disease by your Lewdness Sir Tim. Victorious Betty be merciful and do not ruine my Reputation amongst my Friends Flaunt Your Whores you mean you Sott you Sir Tim. Nay triumphant Betty hear thy poor Timy Flaunt My poor Ninny I 'm us'd barbarously and won't endure it Sir Tim. I 've won Money to night Betty to buy thee Cloaths hum hum Well said Franck towse the little Jilts they came for the purpose Flaunt The Devil confound him what a Prize have I lost by his