my wits and yet no Churles Executor 't is no money makes me mad but want of money Tor. Good tell me whether art going Bil. I am going to Hell that 's to say home for my Master playes the Diuell and I come from seeking out a house of euerlasting Thunder that 's to say a Woman I haue beene bouncing at Signior Gazetto's Chamber for you Tor. Ha! Bil. You 'l be haa'd when you come home Tor. I am vndone for euer Cor. Thou art not peace Bil. Signior Gazetto is horne-mad and leapt out of his Bed as if fleas had bit him so that I thinke he comes running starke naked after me Tor. Oh me what helpe my dearest Soule Cor. To desperate wounds Let 's apply desperate cure dar'st thou flye hence Tor. Dare try me Cor. Then farewell Cordoua Horses wee 'l forthwith hire and quicke to Siuell My birth-place there thou shalt defie all stormes Tor. Talke not but doe Bil. She would haue you doe much but say little Tor. Bilbo thou seest me not Bil. No no away mum I Cor. To shut thy lips fast here are lockes of Gold Bil. I'spy a light comming trudge this way Tor. You dally with fire haste haste Bilbo farewell Cor. O starre-crost Loue To find way to whose Heauen man wades through Hell Exeunt manet Bilbo Enter Gazetto Gaz. Wo ho ho ho whew Bil. Another Fire-drake More Salamanders Heere Sir Gaz. Bilbo How now Is the Dy-dapper aboue water yet Bil. Signior Gazetto Mine Eyes are no bigger then litle pinnes heads with staring my heeles ake with trotting my candle is come to an vntimely end through a Consumption yet my yong Mistris your sweet hart like sweet breath amongst Tobacco-drinkers is not to be found Gaz. On take my Torch apace the neer'st way home Fluttering abroad by Owle-light Bil. Here sir turne downe this Lane shall I knocke your Torch Signior Gaz. Prithee doe what thou wilt the Diuell where is she Bil. Had you knockt your Torch well before Tormiella ware the post and held it well vp when it was lighted she had neuer giuen you the slip and i'faith Signior when is the day Gaz. The wedding meanst thou on Saint Lukes day next 'T is mine owne name thou know'st but now I feare She 's lost and the day too Bil. If she should driue you by foule weather into Cuckolds Hauen before Saint Lukes day comes Signior Luco how then Gaz. If she dares let her I haue her Fathers promise nay oath that I shall haue her Bil. Here is my Masters Gate Gaz. Stay she 's at home sure now I le slip aside Knocke thou and if she answeres as 't is likely Wee l try if still th' old fencing be in vse That faulty women neuer want excuse Bil. They are made for the purpose to lye and cullor I le knocke Mal. Who 's there Bil. 'T is I open the doore Mal. What! to a Common Bil. What common You doe me wrong sir though I goe in breeches I am not the roaring girle you take me for Mal. Wert thou with Gazetto Bil. Yes Mal. Was she with Gazetto Bil. No Mal. Was Gazetto alone Bil. No sir I was with him Mal. Foole knew not he she was forth Bil. Yes when I told him Gaz. Signior Malevento open the doore pray Mal. Oh Luke Gazetto Gaz. Not yet come home Mal. No no Gaz. Not yet vds death When I shall take the Villaine does this wrong Had better stolne away a Starre from Heauen No Spaniard sure dares doe it Bil. 'T is some English man has stolne her I hold my life for most Theeues and brauest Cony-catchers are amongst them Gaz. All Cordoua search ere morning if not found I le ride to Siuill I le mount my Iennet Sir And take the way to Madrill Mal. Ne're speake of Madrill The iourney is for her too dangerous If Cordoua hold her not le ts all to Siuill Haste haste by breake of day Signior Gazetto let vs meet agen Gaz. Agreed Mal. We 'll hunt her out Exit Bil. But you know not when will you take your Torch Exit Gaz. Keepe it lustfull maiden Hot Spanish vengeance followes thee which flyes Like three forkt Lightning whom it smites he dyes Exit Enter Prince Iohn all vnready and Pacheco his Page Iohn Pacheco Pach. My Lord Ioh. Is 't so earely What a Clocke Is 't Pach. About the houre that Souldiers goe to bed and Catch-poles rise Will your Lordship be truss'd vp this morning Ioh. How dost meane goe to hanging Pach. Hanging does your Lordship take me for a crack-rope Ioh. No but for a notable Gallowes too many Lordships are truss'd vp euery day boy some wud giue a 1000 Crownes to haue 'em vnty'd but come sir tye vp my Lordship Pach. As ast as I can Oh my Lord and a man could tye friends to him as fast as I doe these points 't were a braue world Ioh. So he does for these are fast now and loose at night Pach. Then they are like the loue of a woman Ioh. Why boy Do you know what the loue of a woman is Pach. No faith my Lord nor you neither nor any man else I thinke Ioh. Y' are a noble Villaine Pach. Would I were then I should be rich Ioh. Well get you gon Exit Here 's a braue fyle of noble Portugals Haue sworne to helpe me it s hard trusting strangers Nay more to giue them footing in a Land Is easie hard to remoue them say they and I Should send my Brother King out of this world And inthrone me for that 's the Starre I reach at I must haue Spaine mine more then Portugall Say that the Dons and Grandies were mine owne And that I had the Keyes of the Court Gates Hang at my Girdle in my hand the Crowne There 's yet no lifting it vp to my head Without the people I must ride that Beast And best sit fast who walkes not to his Throne Vpon their heads and hands goes but alone This Dogfish must I catch then the Queenes Father Pedro Valasco what if I got him It s but a shallow old fellow and to build On the great'st wisest Statesman in a dessigne Of this high daring is most dangerous We see the tops of tall trees not their heart To find that sound or rotten there 's the Art How now Iago Enter Iago Iago Good morrow to your Lordship The King lookes for you You must come presently Ioh. Well Sir must come So florish As I must come so he ere long must goe Exeunt Enter King Valasco Martines Alphonso Valase. And broad awake King As is that eye of Heauen Val. It spake not did it King No but with broad eyes Glassie and fierie stair'd vpon me thus As blacke as is a Soule new dipt in Hell The t'other was all white a beard and haire Snowie like Portugall and me thought his looke But had no armes Val. No armes King No just my height Now and e're this it was shot vp so high Me thought I heard
by no meanes No let her flutter now she 's fast i' th net On disobedience a gracefull shame is set Cord. A strange dead palsie when a womans tongue Has not the power to stirre dumb call her I say Enter Bilbo Bil. Strange newes Sir Cord. What is 't Bil. Yonder 's a Coach full of good faces Cord. That so strange Bil. Yes to alight at our Gate They are all comming vp as boldly as if they were Landlords and came for Rent see else Enter Gentlemen and Gentlewomen 1. Gent. The woman of the House sir pray Cor. She 's in her Chamber sirrah shew the way Exeunt manet Gentlemen and walke Mal. Doe you know these Cord. Troth not I sir I 'me amaz'd At this their strange ariuall Mal. By their starcht faces Small shancks and blisted shoo-knobs they should be Courtiers Cord. Our Spanish Mercers say th' are the brauest fellowes Mal. For braue men th' are no lesse i' th Taylors bookes Courtiers in Citizens Houses are Summer fires May well be spar'd and being cleane out are best They doe the house no good but helpe consume They burne the wood vp and o're-heat the roome Sweetening onely th' ayre a little that 's all Play the right Citizen then whil'st you gaine by them Hug 'em if they plucke your feathers come not nigh them Cord. I le close with them Mal. Doe Cord. Welcome Gentlemen Omn. Thanks Cord. Pray sir what Ladies may these be with my Wife 1. Gent. Faith sir if they would cast themselues away vpon Knights they may be Knights Ladies but they are onely Gentlewomen of an exceeding sweet carriage and fashion and 't is so Sir that your wiues doings being bruited and spread abroad to be rare for her handling the Spanish needle these beauties are come onely to haue your wife pricke out a thing which must be done out of hand that 's the whole businesse Sir Cord. In good time Sir Mal. Of Court I pray Sir are you 2. Gent. Yes Sir we follow the Court now and then as others follow vs Cord. He meanes those they owe money too Mal. Pray Sir what newes at Court 1. Gent. Faith Sir the old stale newes blacke Iackes are fill'd and standing Cups emptyed Mal. I see then Iackes are sawcie in euery corner I haue giuen it him vnder the list of the eare Cord. 'T was soundly you see he 's strucke dead Mal. Dauncing Baboone Enter Tormiella mask'd and in other Garments the Gentlewomen with her and Gentlemen leading her away Torm. Farewell Omn. To Coach away 1. Gent. The Welch Embassador has a Message to you sir 2. Gent. Hee will bee with you shortly when the Moones Hornes are i' th full Exeunt Mal. What 's that they talke Cord. Nothing but this they haue giuen it me soundly I feele it vnder the lists of both eares where 's my wife Enter Bilbo Bil. She 's falne sicke sir Cord. The Night-mare rides her Mal. Ha! sicke how sicke Bil. Of the falling sicknesse you and my Master haue vs'd her to runne away that she has shew'd you another light paire of heeles she 's gon Sir Cord. Thou lyest Bil. It may be she lyes by this time but I stand to my words I say agen She 's gon sir cast your Cap at her but she 's gon hurried into a Coach drawne with foure Horses Cord. These her oathes vowes protestations damnations a Serpent kist the first woman and euer since the whole sexe haue giuen sucke to Adders Mal. Run into th' Street and if thou seest the priuiledg'd Bawdy house she went into Bil. That runs on foure wheeles the Caroach sir Cor. Cry to the whole City to stop her Bil. I will sir 't is euery mans case i' th City to haue his wife stop'd Exit Mal. Well what wilt thou say if this be a plot Of merriment betwixt thy wife and them For them to come thus and disguise her thus Thus whorry her away to some by-Towne But foure or fiue miles distance from the City Then must we hunt on Horsebacke find our game See and not know her in this strange disguise But the jest smelt out showts and plaudities Must ring about the Table where she sits Then you kissing her I must applaud their wits Cor. Well I will once be gull'd in this your Comedy A while I le play the Wittall I will winck Sir One Bird you see is flowne out of the nest Mal. What Bird Cord. A wagtaile after flye all the rest Mal. Come then Exeunt Finis Actus secundi ACTVS III Enter Iohn a Doctor and Pacheco Ioh. Pacheco Pach. My Lord Ioh. It shall be so to the King presently See my Caroach be ready furnish me To goe to Court sir Pach. Well Sir Exit Do. Why my Lord Ioh. What sayst thou Do. You will ouerthrow the state Of that deare health which so much cost and time Haue beene a building vp your pores lying open Colds Agues and all enemies to pure bloods Wil enter and destroy life Enter Pacheco with Cloake and Rapier Ioh. I will to Court Do. Pray my Lord stirre not forth Ioh. Lay downe begon Exit Pacheco Do. The Ayre will pierce you Iohn I ha tooke cold already Do. When sir Ioh. When you councell'd me to ride my horse Do. Nay that was well how slept you the next night Ioh. Not a winck Doct. All the better Ioh. But i' th next morning I could not in a Russian stoue sweat more Then I did in my Bed Doct. Marry I 'me glad on 't Ioh. And had no clothes vpon me Doct. Still the better Ioh. My bones Sir pay'd for all this and yet you cry still the better when you ha' purg'd your pockets full of gold out of a Patient and then nayl'd him in 's Coffin you cry then still the better too a man were better to lye vnder the hands of a Hangman than one of your rubarbatiue faces sirrha Doctor I doe not thinke but I haue beene well all this time I haue beene Sicke Doctor Oh my good Lord Ioh. Oh good Master Doctor come no more of this I haue another Diaphragma for you to tickle you minister poyson in some Medicines doe you not Doct. Yes my good Lord in Purgatiue and Expulsiue Ioh. So so breake not my head with your hard words you can for a need poyson a Great man Doct. Your Lordship 's merry Ioh. Right Sir but I must haue it done in sadnesse 't is your Trade Master Doctor to send men packing harke you 't is no lesse Bug-beare then Don Valasco Do. The Admirall of Castile Ioh. Him you must sincke Do. 'T is my certaine death to doe it Ioh. And thy certaine death to deny it if you will not shew him a cast of your Office I le be so bold as bestow this vpon you of mine I am sharpe set will you doe it Do. I will by these two hands Ioh. When Do. When you please Ioh. This day Do. This hower Ioh. And make him fast Do. Fast Ioh.
the head knocke at a Starre Cleane through the Seeling Val. Fancy Fancy King I saw it Val. A meere Deceptio visus King A vice Asse Y' are an incredulous Coxcombe these saw it Val. Well they did they did King I call'd for helpe these enter'd found mee dead with feare Omn. 'T is right Sir King Did not the Spirits glide by thee Mar. Your Grace must pardon me I saw none King 'Shart doe I lye doe you braue me you base Peasant Mart. No my Lord but I must guard my life against an Emperor King One of my wiues men is 't not Ha! What a Pox fawnes the Curre for here away Exit Martines Her Spye Sir Are you Val. Sooth him vp y' are fooles If the Lyon say the Asses eares are hornes The Asse if he be wise will sweare it la Sir These tell me they all saw it Omn. Yes my Lord Enter Iago King And yet I lye a whoreson buzzard Now sir Iago Prince Iohn is comming King When sir Iago Instantly King Father I le tell you a Tale vpon a time The Lyon Foxe and silly Asse did jarre Grew friends and what they got agreed to share A prey was tane the bold Asse did diuide it Into three equall parts the Lyon spy'd it And scorning two such sharers moody grew And pawing the Asse shooke him as I shake you Valasc. Not too hard good my Lord alas I am craz'd King And in rage tore him peece meale the Asse thus dead The prey was by the Foxe distributed Into three parts agen of which the Lyon Had two for his share and the Foxe but one The Lyon smiling of the Foxe would know Where he had this wit he the dead did show Valasc. An excellent Tale King Thou art that Asse Valasc. I King Thou you and the Foxe my Brother cut my Kingdome Into what steakes you list I share no more Then what you list to giue You two broach Warre or Peace you plot contriue You flea off the Lyons skinne you sell him aliue But hauing torne the Asse first limbe from limbe His death shall tell the Foxe I le so serue him Valasc. I doe all this 't is false in Prince Iohns face I le spit if he dares speake it you might ride me For a right Asse indeed if I should kick At you vndermine you or blow you vp In whom the hope of my posterity By marriage of my child your wife doth grow None but an Asse would doe it King If I know your little finger was but in 't neither age Your place in Court and Councell respect of honour Nor of my wife your Daughter shall keepe this head Vpon these shoulders Enter Prince Iohn Valasc. Take it now here 's Prince Iohn King How now Brother Sick Ioh. Not very well King Our Court is some Inchanted Tower you come not neare it Are you not troubled with some paine i' th head Your Night-cap shewes you are Ioh. Yes wonderously a kind of Megrim Sir Ioh. I thinke to bind Your Temples with the Crowne of Spaine would ease you Ioh. The Crowne of Spaine my Temples King Nay I but iest A Kingdome would make any Sicke man well And Iohn I would thou hadst one Ioh. It shall goe hard else Valasc. The King I thanke him sayes that you and I King What Valasc. Cut you out sir in steakes I le not be silent And that I am an Asse and a Foxe you Haue I any dealings with you Ioh. When I am to deale sir A wise man then shall hold the Cards Valasc. Now I 'm call'd foole too King Sir if you remember Before he came you buzz'd into mine eare Tunes that did found but scuruily Val. I buz What buz King That he should sell me to the Portugall Val. Wer 't thou as big as all the Kings i' th world 'T is false and I defie thee King Nay Sir and more Val. Out with 't no whispering King I shall blush to speake it Harke you a Poxe vpon 't cannot you sooth His sullen Lordship vp you see I doe Platter him confesse any thing Val. A good Iest I should confesse to him I know not what And haue my throat cut but I know not why Ioh. W'ud your Grace Would licence me a while to leaue the Court To attend my health King Doe Ioh. I take my leaue as for you Sir Exit King My Lord doe you see this Change i' th Moone sharpe hornes Doe threaten windy weather shall I rule you Send to him dead words write to him your mind And if your hearts be vnsound purge both all humors That are corrupt within you Val. I le neuer write but to him in person Exit Enter old Lady King Pray Madam rise Iag. Doe you know this old furie Alph. No what is she Iag. She 's the Kings nuthooke if report has not a blister on her tongue that when any Filberd-tree is ripe puls downe the brauest bowes to his hand a Lady Pandresse and as this yeares Almanacke sayes has a priuate hot-house for his Grace onely to sweat in her name the Lady Dildoman the poore Knight her Husband is troubled with the City Gowt lyes i' th Counter K. I le hang him that stirres in 't the proudest Fawlcon that 's pearcht vp nearest the Eagle if he dare make this his prey how many yeares Lad. Fifteene and vpwards if it please your Grace Kin. Some two footed Diuell in our Court Would thrust you out of all Inclos'd or Common Lad. 'T is yet inclos'd if it like your Grace King Entayl'd Lad. Newly Entayl'd as there 't is to be seene in blacke and white King This case my selfe will handle fee no Lawyer I le stand for you ha Servants of mine turn'd grinders To oppresse the weake What slaue is 't from my sight Least my heau'd hand swerue awry and Innocence smite Alph. This Bawd belike has her house pull'd downe Exeunt King So come hither nearer where shines this starre Lad. I' th City brightly sprightly brauely oh 't is a Creature King Young Lad. Delicate piercing eye inchanting voyce lip red and moyst skin soft and white she 's amorous delicious inciferous tender neate King Thou madst me newly married Lad. New married that 's all the hole you can find in her conte but so newly the poesie of her wedding Ring is scarce warme with the heate of her finger therefore my Lord fasten this wagtayle as soone as you can lime your bush for women are Venice-glasses one knocke spoyles em King Crackt things pox on 'em Lad. And then they 'l hold no more then a Lawyers Conscience King How shall I get a sight of this rich Diamond Lad. I would haue you first disguis'd goe along with mee and buy some toy in her shop and then if you like Danae fall into her lap like Iove a net of Goldsmiths worke will plucke vp more women at one draught then a Fisherman does Salmons at fifteene King What 's her Husband Lad. A flatcap pish if he storme
soonest waine and shew sharpe hornes Tor. Mine shall shew none Lad. I doe not wish it should Yet be not too much kept vnder for when you would You shall not rise Tor. Vmh Lad. I was once as you are Young and perhaps as faire it was my Fate Whilst Summer lasted and that beauty rear'd Her cullors in my cheekes to serue at Court The King of Spaine that then was ey'd me oft Lik't me and lou'd me woo'd me at last won me Tor. 'T was well you were no City Lad. Why Tor. It seemes You yeelded e're you needed Lad. Nay you must thinke He ply'd me with fierce batteries and assaults You are coy now but alas how could you fight With a Kings frownes your womanish appetite Wer 't ne're so dead and cold would soone take fire At honors all women would be lifted higher Would you not stoope to take it and thrust your hand Deepe as a King 's in Treasure to haue Lords Feare you t' haue life or death fly from your words The first night that I lay in 's Princely armes I seem'd transform'd me thought Ioues owne right hand Had snatcht mee vp and in his starry spheare Plac'd me with others of his Lemmans there Yet was he but the shaddow I the sunne In a proud zodiake I my Course did runne Mine eye beames the dyals stile and had power To rule his thoughts as that Commands the hower Oh you shall find vpon a Princes pillow Such golden dreames Tor. I find 'em Lad. Cry you mercy Tor. My husband comes not I dare not stay Lad. You must King You shall Lad. Before you lyes your way Beaten out by mee if you can follow doe Tor. What meanes this are there bawds Ladies too King Why shake you feare not none here threats your life Tor. Shall not a lambe tremble at the butchers knife Let goe your hold keepe off what violent hands Soeuer force mee ne're shall touch woman more I le kill ten Monarches ere I le bee ones whore King Heare mee Tor. Avoyd thou diuell Lad. Thou puritan foole Tor. Oh thou base Otter hound help help King In vaine Tor. The best in Spaine shall know this Lad. The best now knowes it Tor. Good pitch let mee not touch thee Spaine has a King If from his royall throne Iustice bee driuen I shall find right at the Kings hands of Heauen Lad. This is the King Tor. The King alas poore slaue A Rauen stucke with Swannes feathers scarcrow drest braue King Doe you not know me Torm. Yes for a whore-master Lad. No matter for her scoulding a womans tongue Is like the myraculous Bell in Aragon which rings out without the helpe of man King Heare me thou striu'st with Thunder yet this hand That can shake Kingdomes downe thrusts into thine The Scepters if proud fall thou let'st them fall Thou beat'st thy selfe in peeces on a rocke That shall for euer ruine thee and thine Thy Husband and all opposites that dare With vs to cope it shall not serue your turne With your dim eyes to iudge our beames the light Of Common fires We can before thy sight Shine in full splendor though it suites vs now To suffer this base cloud to maske our brow Be wise and when thou mayst for lifting vp Thine arme plucke Starres refuse them not I sweare By heauen I will not force thee 'gainst thy blood When I send come if not withstand thy good Goe get you home now this is all farewell Tor. Oh me what way to heauen can be through hell Exit King Why diue you so Lad. I hope your Maiesty Dare sweare I ha play'd the Pylot cunningly Fetching the wind about to make this Pinnace Strike Sayle as you desir'd King Th' art a damn'd Bawd A soaking sodden splay-foot ill-fac'd Bawd Not all the wits of Kingdomes can enact To saue what by such Gulphes as thou art wrack'd Thou horie wickednesse Diuels dam do'st thou thinke Thy poysons rotten breath shall blast our fame Or those furr'd gummmes of thine gnaw a Kings name If thou wouldst downe before thy time to thy crew Prate of this yes doe for gold any slaue May gorge himselfe on sweetes Kings cannot haue By helpe of such a hag as thou I would not Dishonour her for an Empire from my sight La. Well sir King Giue o're your Trade Lad. I le change my Coppy King See you doe Lad. I will turne ouer a new leafe King We search for Serpents but being found destroy the Men drinke not poysons though they oft imploy them Exit Lad. Giue o're how liue then no I le keepe that still If Courtiers will not I 'me sure Citizens will Exit Enter Tormiella and Gazetto Gaz. Speake with you Torm. Ha! good fellow keepe thy way Gaz. Y' are a whore Torm. Th' art a base Knaue not the streets free Exit Gaz. Though dead from vengeance earth thee shall not saue Hyaena like I le eate into thy Graue Exit Enter Cordolente and Malevento Cord. I dare now bestow on you a free And hearty welcome to my poore house Mal. Thankes Sonne Good Ayre very good Ayre and Sonne I thinke You stand well too for trading Cord. Very well sir Mal. I am glad on 't Enter Lazarillo Cord. Sirrah where 's your Mistris Mal. I I good youth call her She playes the Tortoyes now you shall 'twixt her and me See a rare Combat tell her here 's her Father No an old swaggering Fencer dares her at the weapon Which women put downe men at Scoulding boy I will so chide her Sonne Cord. Pray doe Sir goe call her Laz. She 's forth Sir with my fellow a Lady tooke her along Mal. Taken vp already it 's well yet I commend her She flyes with birds that are of better wing Then those she spreads her selfe Cord. Right Sir Mal. Nay she 's wise A subtill Ape but louing as the Moone is to the Sea Cord. I hope she 'l proue more constant Mal. Then is the needle to the Adamant The God of gold powre downe on both your heads His comfortable showers Cord. Thankes to your wishes Mal. May neuer gall be fill'd into your Cup Nor wormewood strew your Pillow so liue so loue That none may say a Rauen does kisse a Doue I am sorry that I curst you but the string Sounds as 't is play'd on as 't is set we sing Enter Bilbo Cord. Where 's thy Mistresse Mal. Oh-pray Sonne vse Bilbo Caueare well Where 's thy Mistresse Bil. She 's departed Sir Cord. Departed whether prithee Bil. It may to a Lord for a Lady had her away I came backe to fetch a Gloue which dropt from the Lady but before I could ouertake them they were all dropt from me my Mistris is to me Sir the needle in the bottle you wot where Mal. Of hay thou mean'st she 'l not be lost I warrant Enter Tormiella and passes ouer the Stage Cord. Here she comes now sir Tormiella call her Bil. What shall I call her Exit Mal. Nothing
my Lambe at home sir King Part and thus reckon neuer to see her more Cor. Neuer Tor. Neuer thus but thus a Princes whore Exeunt Cor. Thou dar'st not if thou do'st my heart is great Thus wrong'd thou canst doe little if not threat Gaz. Ha ha ha ha Cor. At what dost-laugh Gaz. At a thing of nothing at thee why shouldst thou be afraid to fall into the Cuckolds disease Cor. Because it makes a Doctor an Asse nothing can cure it are you answer'd Sir Gaz. Come th' art a foole to grieue that thy wife is taken away by the King to his priuate bed-chamber Now like a booke call'd in shee 'l sell better then euer she did Cor. Right sir but could he chuse no stocke to graft vpon but that which was planted in my nurserie Gaz. I le shew thee a reason for that Cor. Why Gaz. Leachers comming to women are like Mice amongst many Cheeses they taste euery one but feed vpon the best hornes rightly weigh'd are nothing Cor. How nothing oh sir the smallest Letters hurt your eyes most and the least head-ach which comes by a womans knocking hurts more then a cut to the scull by a mans knocking Gaz. Yet I warrant thou dar'st sweare the party 's honest Cor. Ha sweare not I no man durst euer sweare for his wife but Adam nor any woman for her husband but Eue fare you well sir Gaz. Whether art flying Cor. In peices dost not see I 'me shot out of a Cannon Exit Gaz. Downewards I le shoote thee but as Diuels vse I le tickle at thy tortures dance at thy stumbling Play with thee and then paw thee shalt make me merry The Crowne of blacke deeds that are hatcht in Hell Is to out-liue and laugh and all 's play'd well Exit Enter Clowne and Coxecombe Clo. I haue not pass'd by a Don to touch whose hand mine owne was neuer more troubled with a more terrible itch Cox I haue not met a Signior at whom mine owne eyes as if roasted enough did euer burne more in desire to flye out so that whether to recoyle or aduance on I am betweene Hawke and Buzzard Bil. The honey of sweet Complement so turne vp your Tuskes or Mochatoes that they be not too stiffe to brisle against my acquaintance Cox Your acquaintance is a Limbeck out of which runneth a perfum'd water bathing my nosthrils in a strong scent of your embracings are you of Court Signior Bil. No Signior of the City are you a Don of the Citie Cox No Signior of the Court City I smile Bil. Why Cox I assure you Signior you are to vs of the Court but Animals You are held but as shooing hornes to wait on great Lords heeles Bil. Let em pay vs what they owe then and pull on their shoes and wee 'll wait no more Cox You are our Apes Bil. But you are fuller of Apish-trickes Cox No sooner leape our Ladies into a fashion but your Wiues are ready to creepe into the same Bil. Why not for tho some of your Ladies invent the fashion some of our wiues husbands are neuer pay'd for the stuffe or making Cox Giue way with your poore scull to our oares for I tell thee Signior you of the city are the flatten milke of the kingdome and wee of the Court the Creame Bil. I tell thee Signior wee of the City eate none of your Court butter but some of your munch vp our flatten milk cheese Cox Be not too loud tho you are good ringers in the City for most of you haue bels at your doores Bil. Be not you too loud for you might be good singers at Court but that most of you are spoyled in learning your pricksong Cox Bee temporate I will shew you your City Cinquipace you beare sweare teare reare and weare you beare the Tanckerd sweare shop oathes teare money out of debtors throates reare rich estates weare good clothes but carry your Conscience in torne pockets Bil. Bee attentiue I will shew you your Court Coranto pace it consisteth of 5. bees and 3. cees you borrow of any man are braue on any termes brag at any hand to pay bellow at any that demands it bite any Catchpole that fangs you but carry neither Conscience nor coyne in your whole pockets Cox Tell mee Signior tell mee why in the City does a harmlesse signe hang at the doore of a subtill Nicodemus sitting in a shop Bil. And tell me Signior tell me why when you eate our good cheare i' th City haue you handsome wide chops but meeting vs at Court none your gumme 's glew'd vp your lips coap'd like a Ferret not so much as the corner of a Custard if a cold cup and a dry cheate loafe 't is well Cox Come come You are Acornes and your Sonnes the Prodigals that eate you vp Bil. Goe goe you are Prodigals and glad of the yellow Acornes we leaue our Sonnes Cox I will crosse my selfe when I owe money to a Citizen and passe by his doore Bil. I will blesse my selfe when a Courtier owing me no money comes neare my doore Cor. You are discended from the tanckerd generation Bil. You are ascended vp to what you are from the blacke Iacke and bumbard distillation Cox Deere Signior Bil. Delicious Don Exeunt Enter Don Iohn Ioh. Boy Pach. My Lord Ioh. Art sure thou saw'st the Admirall at Court Pach. Am I sure I see your Lordship in your gowne Ioh. And talking with the King Pach. Most familiarly Ioh. And what say the people about my committing to mine owne house Pach. The beast grinnes at it there 's a Libell already of you my Lord Ioh. A Libell away Pa. Yes faith my Lord and a Song to the tune of Lament Ladies Lament Ioh. I 'me glad the stinkards are so merry a halter on 'em it 's musick to them to haue euery man thrown off you haue seen the Kings Mistris boy haue you not what manner of peice is 't Pach. Troth my Lord I know not I neuer saw her shot off a pretty little pocket dag Ioh. What report giues she Pach. A very good report of her Husband but he giues an ill report of her Ioh. How does the Ladies take it now the King keepes a Wench vnder the Queenes nose Pach. They take it passing heauily it goes to the heart of some of them that he keepes not them too Ioh. I heard say they were all once leauing the Court Pach. True sir but there was a deuise which stopp'd 'em Ioh. Who are you Knocking within Val. My Lord we must speake with you Ioh. What are you fetch me a weapon Omn. Your friends King 'Sdeath breake it open Enter King Valasco and others Ioh. The King I did not vnderstand your Maiesty King You shall for I le speake plaine to you know you these Ioh. Not I King You doe not a Kings arme thou seest Has a long reach as farre as Portugall Can We fetch treason backe hatcht here by you Ioh. Me King Thee and the
to haue you stab'd Cor. He does that already with the bodkin that sticks in my wifes hayre Gaz. He has not the patience to stay the dressing of his meat of thy prouiding he will haue it taken vp and eate the flesh raw he will be married incontinently Cor. Will she set her hands to my hornes Gaz. Yes and set them to your head she followes the steps of her old grandam all euils take their names from her the ills of Eue thy wife for the hoope ring thou marriedst her withall hath sworne to send thee a Deathes head Cor. Sworne Gaz. Sworne were thy case my case I would set a Diuell at her elbow in the very Church I would kill her as she gaue away her hand Cor. Wilt helpe me to a fit Circle to play the Diuell in Gaz. I le place thee I le put thy foot into the stirrup Cor. And I will rid the world of one of his diseases a loose woman Gaz. Farewell eate her very hart Exit Cor. As we feed one vpon another hungerly Exeunt Hoboyes Enter two Fryers setting out an Altar Enter Iago Alphonso Gazetto Malevento two Churchmen Tormiella next and the King Ladies attending Cordolente steales in and stands in some by place the King stayes or sits in a chayre Tormiella is brought to him as she is comming the King meets her as the ring is putting on Cordolente steps in rudely breakes them off Tormiella flyes to his bosome the King offers to stab him is held she kneeles sues weepes Cordolente is thrust out Gazetto laughs at all they are preparing to it againe it Thunders and Lightens all affrightedly Exeunt Enter Cordolente Cord. Dost thou tell me of thy Proclamations that I am banisht from the Court that Court where I came to thee was none of thine it belongs to a King that keepes open Court one that neuer wrong'd a poore Begger neuer tooke away any mans wife vnlesse he sent his Purseuant death for her oh thou daring Sacrilegious royall Theefe wilt thou rob the Church too as thou hast me thrust me out of that house too in the Sanctuary turn'd Diuell in a crowd of Angels Enter Gazetto Gaz. Why didst not kill her Cor. I had no power to kill her Charmes of Diuinity pull'd backe mine Arme She had Armor of proofe on reuerence of the place She is not married is she shorten my paines Gaz. Heauen came it selfe downe and forbade the Banes Enter Iago Iag. You must both to th' King Gaz. Must we are for him Cor. Now doe I looke for a fig. Gaz. Chew none feare nothing Exeunt Flourish Enter King Tormiella Valasco Malevento Alphonso King Has heauen left chiding yet there 's in thy voice A thunder that worse frights mee didst thou sweare In bed to kill me had I married thee Tor. It was my vow to doe so King And did that Villaine That Lupo Vindicado's thrust this vengeance Into thy desperate hand Tor. That Villaine swore me To speed you I had dy'd else me had he murdered When in a Doctors shape he came to cure The madnesse which in me was counterfeit Onely to shun-your touches King Strange preseruation Enter Iago Gazetto and cordolente Val. Here comes the traytor King Diuell didst thou tempt this woman 'gainst my life Gaz. Has she betray'd me yes hence Anticke vizors I le now appeare my selfe Mal. Gazetto Gaz. The same Cor. I ha warm'd a Snake in my bosome Mal. This is he To whom by promise of my mouth not hers Tormiella should ha' beene married but flying him To runne away with this he in disguise Has followed Both thus long to be reueng'd Gaz. And were not my hands ty'd by your preuention It should goe forward yet my plot lay there King to haue her kill thee this Cuckold her Then had I made him Hawkes-meat Val. Bloudy Varlet King Rare Prouidence I thanke thee what a heape Of mischiefes haue I brought vpon my Kingdome By one base Act of lust and my greatest horror Is that for her I made away my Queene By this destroyers hand this crimson Hell-hound That laughes at nothing but fresh Villanies Gaz. The laughing dayes I wisht for are now come sir I am glad that leaping into such a Gulph I am not drown'd your Queene liues King Ha! Gaz. She liues I had no reason to kill her Val. A better Spirit Stood at his elbow then you planted there My poore Girle your sad Queene breathes yet King Long may she Fetch her commend me to her cheere her Father Val. With the best hart I haue Exit King Let that slye Bawd Engine of Hell who wrought vpon thy Chastity Be whipt through Sivill foure such tempting witches May vndoe a City come you wronged paire By a King that parted you you new married are Inioy each other and prosper Cor. I doe already Feeling more ioyes then on my Wedding day I nere till now was married Tor. Nor I euer happy vntill this houre Mal. Nor I as I am true Lord King No sir y' are no true Lord you haue a title A face of honour as in Courts many haue For base and seruile prostitutions And you are such a one your Daughters fall Was first step to your rising and her rising Againe to that sweet goodnesse she neuer went from Must be your fall and strip you of all honours Your Lordship is departed Mal. Does the Bell ring out I care not Your Kingdome was a departing too I had a place in Court for nothing and if it be gon I can loose nothing I ha' beene like a Lord in a play and that done my part ends King Yes sir I purge my Court of such Infection Mal. I shall find-company i' th City I warrant I am not the first hath giuen vp my Cloake of honour Exit Enter Valasco Iohn and Queene King Oh my abused heart thy pardon see I haue sent home my stolne goods Qu. Honestly King As she was euer now with full cleere eyes I see thy beauty and strange Cheekes despise Qu. You call me from a graue of shame and sorrow In which I lay deepe buried Ioh. From a graue likewise Your Maiestie calls me I haue lookt backe On all my poore Ambitions and am sorry That I fell euer from so bright a Spheare As is the Loue of such a royall brother King Be as you speake we are friends it was our will To let you know we can or saue on kill Ioh. Your mercy new transformes me King Sirrah your sauing My Queene when I confesse lust me so blinded I would haue gladly lost her giues thee life Qu. First I thanke Heauen then him and at last you Gaz. I had not the heart to hurt a woman if I had your little face had beene mall'd ere this but my Anger 's out forgiue me Tor. With all my heart King Pray noble brother loue this man he 's honest I ha' made of him good proofe we should haue had A wedding but Heauen frown'd at it and I Am glad 't is crost yet we 'll both Feast and dance Our Fame hath all this while laine in a Trance Come Tormiella well were that City blest That with but Two such women should excell But there 's so few good th' ast no Paralell Exeunt FINIS