shall at most onely exchange a Wound Thy sacred Image guards my heart entire and keeps it safe from danger Go to the Banquet entertain the Ladies and be merrie Sir Ly. By Cocks bones shall she and be very merrie to think she 's like to have so brisk a Spark to her Bed-fellow Go thy ways William and God's blessing go with thee Boy if thou wants a second I can push yet I 'm not so old efaith Well I humbly thank ye Sir we shall think better on 't perhaps before we fight Dian. Or shall Sir John go he 's a man of mettle I assure you Brother Sir John What the Devil do ye mean I have mind to take this opportunitie to be with thee thou little wanton Friend Fear not Sir I 'll excuse ye Goes out bowing to Mar. Sir John You little amiable mischievous Ape you what a seurvie malicious Jest did you break upon me to make the Proverb good You had rather lose your Friend than your Jest Dian. A Jest it was a parlous true one then I said you were all Mettle A brazen face a leaden brain and a copper nose and beard Sir John Wit Lightning and Quick-silver thou little more than Dwarf and something less than woman Dian. A Wasp a Wasp Your Wit stings Sir Sir John Thou' rt plaguie sharp pray God thou be'st not too far gone in Love if thou shou'dst I must be forc'd in honour to marrie thee tho introth't wou'd be hardly brought about Dian. No matter Sir things got by strugling bring the greater pleasure when dull Consent but palls the Appetite Then thou' rt a fool too the most admirable necessary for a Husband in the whole Creation and the best Block to carve a Cuckold in Sir John Whe what a tart Monkey's this By my troth if thou hadst not so much wit I cou'd finde in my heart to take thee for better for worse for I finde thou cou'dst bear me with all my faults Dian. Bear with thee I wonder how thy Mother bore thee nine whole months about her when I 'll be sworn I can scarce endure thee in my sight an hour Sir John Alas for you sweet Soul good lack A pox of your Wit By the Lord Harry you are the proudest scoffing scurvie idle fantastical whimsical Ads nigs because you have read St. George for England Amades de Gall and the Legend of Lyes you are licens'd forsooth to abuse all the world Egad Sir Lyonell your Father shall know 't Offers to go out Dian. He must not tho Nay do not go in Rancor good dear Knight for I must confess a secret to you which if you knew my heart you wou'd believe there were nothing so cruel there as you imagine I speak very kinde things of you between my Maid and I anight as I am going to bed and next my Prayers too Heaven forgive me I spoke things of you that I wou'd not wish you shou'd know Sir John Nay look ye for my part if I have not most religiously vow'd my heart yours been drunk twice a day to your health swallow'd Fire and inches of your Cuff-strings eat Candles pledg'd your health in Chamber-lie run Pins into my Arms and done all manner of gallant and heroick actions I 'm the veriest son of a Whore breathing and yet to tell me after all this I have a brazen face a leaden brain and a copper nose weeps 't is most intolerable insupportable and prodigious I 'll be sworn Dian. And de ye love me so indeed Sir John Love you ' Sbud whosoever says I do not and honour you too Egad nay and if you wou'd wou'd marrie you is a son of a Whore and a Scoundrel by the Lord. Dian. And let me tell you in return that Heaven forgive me And my Sister knows I have took drink and slept upon 't that if ever I marrie it shall be you and I will marrie and yet I hope I do not say it shall be you neither Come let 's to the Banquet Sir John Oh dear Creature I do not say you do Lord how was I mistaken in thy heart But will you hereafter cast a kinde look at me to put me in countenance before Companie That I wou'd be at now Dian. Much may be done Come let 's to the Banquet Sir John And will you my prettie little Darling of mine eyes marrie me As I hope to breath my Purse Bodie Soul and all shall be thine Dian. Most affectionately spoken Well get my Fathers consent and as for mine the Devil take me if ever thou gets it Aside Sir John A Kiss and 't is a Match Thus Hymen shou'd begin A falling out sometimes proves falling in Exeunt Enter Wellman and Friendly as in the street Well Well my dear friend tell me with open heart hath not my Reasoning reclaim'd thy Folly preserv'd thy falling Vertue and secur'd it Friend There is no Vertue in Blood no Reasoning in Desire But shall I not in this fond act of Love do that which will to thee render my name abhorr'd and make thee hate me Well By Heaven no. Friend And shall I then may I enjoy Corina Well Thou shalt by all our Friendships Here take this Ring shew it to that fair Devil it will confirm me dead which rumour with my absence will make good Possess thy Love grow wearie in her Arms then be thy self again Friend But if Report grows strong and I am seiz'd where shall I finde thee Well At Glistens my Goldsmith in Cheapside to whom I 'll tell our business and designe Friend Thither I 'll come and tell thee how I thrive Till when farewel Goes out Well When woman 's in 〈◊〉 heart the soul 's all hell Now Repentance the after-clap of â—ools light on thee I have an Art left that may reclaim thee yet I 'll make thee fall into the vilest dangers even worse than womans Lust No Goldsmith will I see or tell my storie to but in some sit disguise I 'll hide my self impossible to be discover'd and leave thee to two friends a Whore and Law that will be plague sufficient for one man but is this friendship in me pawses No matter No man is purely vertuous no Vertue purely kind The end being good the way is well design'd Goes out SCENE changes to Corina's house Enter Corina in anger followed by Trickwell with Plate and Mrs. Dunwell Cor. Oh impudence am I then fallen so low to be sollicited by Pimps and Panders Hell take the trade if this be the effects on 't Trick Madam whatever you may think of me my Present has the shew of Qualitie here 's Plate a Present that a Lord might make ye and I was once a Gentleman tho I am fallen so low by faithless Vice yet tho undone poor and depriv'd of all I have a heart and will that still remains and fain wou'd venture on when Beautie calls And if I have a stock which Heaven and my own industrie has lent I must employ
better In Land the Title may be crackt in Houses they may be burnt in fine Cloaths they 'll wear out in Wine alas our Throats are but short and our heads weak but woman oh dear lovely woman 's the lasting true pleasure Lay it out upon woman I say and a thousand to one some one of them will bestow that on you that shall stick by you as long as you live They are no ungrateful persons they 'll give Love for Love do you protest they 'll swear do you vow they 'll lye do you sigh they 'll weep do you give them English Coin they 'll repay you with the French And they onely sell their Bodies Do not some of our Sex sell their Souls nay since all things have been sold Honour Justice Faith even Religion pray where 's the dishonour of selling the Pleasures of a womans Bed Who is 't wou'd live and toil but for a woman who fights lies cold and hard in open field but to gain Wreaths to lay at a womans feet And 't is a truth can be denied of no man All things were made for man and man for woman Give me my Fee Friend Well Sir I see you are resolv'd and I can onely boast I love Diana better than you do her Sister Marinda Well Come wilt thou go with me Friend Whither Well To this house of Salvation Friend Salvation Well Yes 't will make thee repent Prithee go to the Family of Love I 'll shew thee my Creature my Natural my Mistriss my pretty blue-ey'd Wanton my honest fond self-hearted Flatterer my fair-fac'd sweet lip'd Rogue that has Beauty enough for her Vertue Vertue enough for a Woman and Woman enough for any reasonable man in my knowledge Friend What to a Bawdy-house to visit an impudent Prostitute Pox on 't 't will make me hate the Sex The worst Object the world can shew me is an immodest vulgar woman Well No matter thou shalt go go as thou lovest me Friend Well Sir I 'll go to bring you safely back Exeunt SCENE draws to a House Enter Mrs. Dunwell and Trickwell drunk Trick Nay Moll unreasonable Mary whe the whole Prize was not above fortie pound and hast thou the conscience to snack ten onely for a good word speaking a little holding the door and bawding The device was my own too the hazard mine and the hanging may be mine whilst thou securely filchest under my conduct Come the nest of Cups is fair you Bitch be contented you were drunk too into the bargain Moll Come bear a Conscience Moll and Heaven will bless our endeavours besides Moll thou hast an honest Calling of Bawding which brings thee in a pretty Livelihood Moll when God knows I trust to nothing but my own indurious slight of hand Come give me back the Salt Snatches the silver Salt Dun. By Yea and by Nay Trickwell I am afraid thou wilt play the Knave and restore ' em Trick No by the Lord Aunt Restitution is Catholick and you know Oracles are ceas'd Tempus praeteritum Dost hear my necessary Evil Thou ungodly Fire that burnt Diana's Temple dost hear make Corina civil or by the Lord Bawd Dun. Fire Gad you are the foulest mouth'd son of a Whore the profanest railing Raskal call a woman the most ungodly names I must confess we all eat of the forbidden Fruit and for my own part though I am as they say a Bawd that covers a multitude of sins yet I trust I am none of the wicked that go to Steeple-houses with profane Organs in 'em ye scurvy sawcie Jack Trick Who I rail at thee my industrious Moll my subtle Procurer I rail at thee my necessarie Damnation I 'll make an Oration in praise of thy Modestie thou flower of thy Function Dun. And I think I have deserv'd it at your hands Mr. Trick-well for I have assisted you early and late up-rising and down-lying Trick Thou hast therefore listen A Bawd for her Profession is the most honourable of all the 12 Companies for as that Trade is most worshipful that sells the best Commodities what must the Bawd be then my little Moll For where others sell silk Cloaths Gold and Silver Pearls and Diamonds thou sellest divine Vertue Virginitie Modestie Maiden-heads Youth and Beautie And who are her Customers not Cits Grooms Mechanicks and disbanded Souldiers but Gentlemen of the best Rank Knights Lords Dukes and Squires Thus she lives keeps the best Company eats and drinks of the best and domineers when she 's drunk reigns Queen Moll over her adoring Subjects But hold here 's Wellman and Friendly what a Pox does his Gravitie in a Bawdie-house Enter Wellman and Friendly Well Come along yonder 's the Preface to my Mistriss her Matron or Bawd or what you please Mrs. Dunwell your servant Dun. Your servant sweet Sir Ah you 're a prettie man to neglect a Creature that loves you thus introth you are But well I 'll fetch her to you Sir Exit Dun. Well Do so sweet Mrs. Dunwell What Mr. Trickwell does your Knaveship dare walk the street Look to 't Mr. Dashit lies in wait for you Trick The more fool he I can lie for my self A Pox of the rich Raskal 't is no deceit in me to cheat him he has cozen'd me of an Estate of some two hundred a year with his damn'd Reckonings and then who but honourable Mr. Trickwell the noble Squire and soforth till he had got all my Land in Mortgage then took the forfeiture and turn'd me 〈◊〉 of doors I 'll plague him for 't But I interrupt your diversion and will kiss your hands my noble Patrons Exit Trick with the Plate Enter Dunwell and Corina she kicking her Well See Sir this the ugly thing you so despise Friend This Well This very thing 't is but a Dowdie but she serves Friend A Whore this Vertue defend me what a lovely woman ' t is Well Salute her man salute her Friend Salute her yes and leave my heart upon her lips Well Go salute my friend this is my friend Corina Cor. I care not for you nor your friends I 'm sure you use me scurvily because you know I love you but I shall learn those Arts you men are practis'd in and scorn and hate and hide it when it serves my turn as you can do I shall but yet I 'm true true as my Vertue when you first seduc'd it false as you are and yet I love you strangely Well Salute my friend I say go you fond fool clasp his neck round and press his cheeks to yours kiss him as you do me as soft and meltingly go you coy tit I say you shall Kisses him Friend She 'as fir'd me with that touch there 's Witchcraft in 't Well Come kiss her again by Heaven thou shalt I 'll not be jealous on 't kiss her more ardently So thou wilt learn in time Go fetch your Lute and let him hear ye sing to 't Cor. I 'm all obedience Sir when you
faith I will resigne her and you see Diana will like thee nere the worse for 't Friend I 'll but embrace her hear her speak and at the most but kiss her Well Oh heark he that cou'd live upon the scent of Meat wou'd live cheaply Friend I shall never become heartily a man o' th' Town a kind of flat ungracious Debauchee an unsufficient dulness reigns about me Well This Italian breeding has spoil'd thee and stiffen'd thy behaviour Come come thou shalt to her and she shall like thee Friend But if she shou'd not Friend Well Fear her not 't is her Trade and what she 'as practis'd long with many Lovers Friend Was she not true to thee Well I do believe she was whilst she was mine Friend Was she a sinner ere you saw her then Well Oh a very Strumpet Pardon me truth Come have a good heart and thou shalt possess her since thou' rt so in love Friend Death man 't is Destiny I cannot help it Well Nay I hope so Come come she sells but flesh so that even in the enjoying thou 't regain again thy freedom Go thy ways Exit Friend Enter Trickwell How now Raskal what make you up so early Trick He that will thrive must be early stirring Sir I am going to get the Peny Sir Aye Heaven has endow'd me with industry I thank it Well And what good Acquaintance have you Sirrah no handsome women Trick Faith Sir yes some do start up now and then but a Pox on 't when they have run through all the Trades and Degrees of the Citie they pass at the other side of the Town for new Faces and are caught up by your Courtiers for innocent and honest though the Citie-Surgeon have had good Customers of 'um and by my Troth Sir I hate to cheat a Gentleman with false Ware But last night VVell What last night Trick I was horrid drunk at Supper with one Sir John Empty a brave young fool for my purpose I brought him a Wench one Betty Cogit a Pox on her a pretty drunken Whore 't is and handsome if she can serve you I can bed my Knight with any other VVell Away you 're a Rogue I 'll talk about it another time Farewel Have a care of Mr. Dashit Sirrah Exit Well Trick Let Mr. Dashit have a care of me I 'll take care he shall be cozen'd most plentifully Now for some new device what shall it be Enter Jack a boy with Barbers things Jack Pray Sir which is the way to Cheapside to the Sun-Tavern Trick Sun-Tavern Childe what wou'dst thou do there Jack Whe Sir I am sent for to trim Mr. Dashit and tho he be my God-father I know not the way to his house Trick Why art thou a Barber Jack A Barber-Surgeon Sir Trick To what Bawdy-house does your Master belong and what 's your name Jack John Scowre an 't like your Worship Trick John Scowre Good Mr. John Scowre I desire your farther acquaintance Nay be cover'd my dainty boy Is thy Master at home Jack My Father forsooth you mean but he 's dead Trick And laid in 's Grave good boy Jack Yes Sir and my Mother keeps shop Trick A good witty boy thon't live to read a Chapter to the Family and write Sermons John in time wo't thou not Jack In grace a God Sir Trick And whither art thou going now John Jack Marry forsooth to trim Mr. Dashit the Vintner He 's my Godfather I told you forsooth Trick Good boy hold up thy head Prithee do one thing for me my name 's Hazard Jack He good Mr. Hazard Bows Trick Lend me thy Barbers Implements Jack Oh Lord Sir Trick Well spoken a fine boy What are they worth childe Jack Oh Lord Sir worth I know not Trick A witty childe Here 's a shilling for thee Where dost live John Jack At the three Washballs forsooth in Mincing-lane Trick Aye I know 't a delicate boy I have an odde Jest in my head childe to trim Mr. Dashit 'T is for a wager boy a humour I 'll return thy things presently Hold let 's see Takes off his Apron and takes his things Jack What mean ye Mr. Hazard Trick Nothing child but a Jest Go drink a flaggon and I 'll return presently Jack Pray Sir do not stay Trick As I 'm an honest man The three Washbals John Jack Aye Sir Trick Good And if I do not shave Mr. Dashit my ingenaity wants an edge Let me see a Barber My villanous tongue will betray me I must step in and disguise a little For my speech what if it be broken French or a Northern or a Welch Barber Good the Widow Scowres man good newly hir'd a Journey-man very well I have my Cue and will proceed happy be luck Exit Trick SCENE changes to Corina's house Enter Corina with her Hair loose raving and Mr. Dunwell Dun. Nay dear sweet childe do not torment thy self thus violently say Wellman be to be marri'd are there no more young Gentlemen no more both handsome and rich Come come you cou'd not expect to build Tabernacles with him Cor. Damn your sententious Nonsence let me go loose as the winds when mad when raging mad 'T was you Heaven curse ye for 't that first seduc'd me swore that he lov'd me wou'd eternally and when my Vertue had resolv'd me good damn'd Witch whose trade is Lying and Confusion you hard besieg'd it round with tales of Wellman repeated all his Charms so often o're my Heart began to yield and Vertue fade like flowers with too much heat which when you saw a Curse upon your Tongue you told him where the part was feeblest here told him my strength and how he best might conquer and he oh lovely Tyrant found it true and never ceas'd till he had vanquisht all Leave me thou Witch that hast reduc'd this soul this body too to nothing but a Grave Dun. To nothing Marry and that 's not my fault I have made as many proffers of your Virginity since he ruin'd it as if you had been my own Daughter a thousand times so I have but you were so peevish you ever stood in your own light nothing wou'd down with you but Wellman Cor. Hell take thy tongue or blast it Dun. Aye for God forgive me it has been a thousand times forsworn for you and yet I 've brought you to nothing Have I not brought you English and French Merchants of the best Rank Jews of the richest Tribes Irish Lords Scottish Earls and lastly the Dutch Agent who offer'd ye a Tun of money and is all this nothing Come come had you had grace you had made something of all these but nothing but Wellman was regarded Cor. Oh that hated Name like some black Charm it curdles up my bloud Dun. And yet a' my conscience the Gentleman 's an honest Gentleman and one you have got fairly by I hope him to you and have I this for my labour Well Mary Dunwell weeps go thy ways Mary Dunwell
Faith he had a Reprieve but now the Warrant 's sign'd for Execution and he is to be hang'd to morrow Well Well what 's that to thee Nan. Whe faith we have liv'd lovingly hitherto together and we 'll e'ne dye as lovingly for I am resolv'd to be hang'd honestly with him Sir Ioh. Honestly hang'd how so Nan. Whe I 'll tell you Sir when the Tidings came to me of poor Iack's being apprehended I soon knew which way the World wou'd go with him I ne're snivel'd and nouted like a feeble Woman for the matter but e'ne resolv'd bravely to take a Turn at Tyburn with him Sir Ioh. Lord have Mercy upon us Nan. In order thereunto what does me I but hearing of a Fellow that had lost a parcel of Goods of value but goes my ways to him accuses my self for the Thief was sent to Newgate and to my great Joy and Satisfaction was condemn'd with honest Iack efaith On my Soul Mr. Wellman I trembled for Fear I thou'd have been acquitted but the honest Jury took Pity on me and brought me in Guilty When the Devil wou'd any of your Wives of Quality have show'd this conjugal Constancy Sir Ioh. Lord deliver me what a wicked World is this that People shou'd have the face to confess their Villainies she confesses all now and some are hang'd and confess nothing Well And wo't thou be so good natur'd to take a Turn with him at the Gallows Nan. With as much Joy as e're I kiss'd him Well Whe this is the most admirable Proof of Love I ever heard off Sir Ioh. Proof of Love proof of the Devil Man what to be slain at Tyburn for Love whe 't is most damnable and as nonsensical as to be hang'd for Religion Nan. I find by your Principles that you 'l keep out of Harms way Sir Joh. Nay o' my Conscience I shall ne're increase the Number of the noble Army of the Martyrs Enter Shamock chain'd Sham. Nan where are you here 's the Fellow has brought home our Coffin Nan. Let him bring 't in my dear you shall see Mr. Wellman what a Device I have found out never to part with dear Jack I have bespoke a Coffin to hold us both Sir John How a Coffin Lord have Mercy upon 's how great the Devil is with this Woman but what care have you taken of your Soul all this while Nan. That 's the Business of Mr. Ordinary he has so much a year allow'd him for managing that Affair and has undertaken mine Come bring in the Coffin Enter Fellow with a Coffin They look on 't Sham. Whe what a Coffin's here Is this a Coffin fit for Christians D' ye see and all pitch't within too ye Dog we shall stick to 't a pox on ye for a nasty Son of a Whore Sir Joh. Bless me sure these Reprobates never think of going to Heaven To Wellman Nan. Ay! I gave him two broad pieces in hand too and two more I have in my Pocket to give him Trick Which I must be acquainted with aside Nan. But he shall be damn'd e're he be so well paid Sham. Besides Sirrah you might have had the Manners to have lin'd it with a little Bays this cold Weather but you have neither Conscience nor fore-cast Sir Joh. Lord Brother Wellman I believe some Priests have been tampering with 'em they are so wicked Well Ha Ha Ha! a notable Observation Sham. I 'de forgot too I 'll lay my Head to a Halter this Coffin will not hold us both Sir Joh. Hark ye Friend don't lay with him for he 's o th' surer side Nan. Yes my Dear as for that I believe we may make Shift 't is but my laying my Arm under thy Head and thou thine over my Breast and we shall lye as snug these cold nights Sir Joh. Whe the Devil 's in these People Nan. But I have a cursed Misfortune befallen me Sham. What 's that my dear Betty Betty The Whore the Laundress who had all the Linnen I was to be buryed in like an ungrateful Baggage knowing I was to be hang'd and she to have no more of my Custom has pawn'd all my lac'd Linnen too so that dear Jack I shall come to thy Arms but scurvily equipt to morrow Sham. Le ts arrest her Lord Lord that People shou'd have no Conscience nor Honesty in 'em what will this wicked World come to Sir Joh. Ay! and to rob the Gallows too unmerciful Tyrant Trick comes up to ker Trick Young Woman young Woman this is no time to think of Trifles and gew gaws the best dress is that of Repentance let your Conscience be clean and neat within and no matter for Lace and Tawdrums dress up your Soul I say Picks her Pocket Betty Whe what a Pox have we here Trick One who has preacht better Doctrine to your Ladyship e're now and one who am appointed to put you in mind of your long home Betty Whe ye Fool you have I been taking such pains to prepare my self for this Journey and need your Advice in the Devils name get ye gone ye canting Rascal here 's honest Jack can teach me how to dye worth a Legion of you formal Gown-men Sham. Gad thou' rt a noble Lass Sir John In Troth and so she is 't is Pity she shou'd be damn'd Trick goes to Dashet Betty to the Joyner Betty Well Sirrah here is your two pieces more because I scorn to be worse than my word Feels in her Pocket hah my money 's gone what 's the meaning of this I had 'em and the two pieces for Jack Catch too in my Pocket when I came down Sham. Whe what a Pox have we Thieves amongst our selves this is fine doings efaith Betty Hang 't let it go they are some poor Devils that wanted it go out and wait till I go up and I 'll pay you Exit Joyner Sir Joh. Or let him call again to Morrow in the Evening Trick talking this while to Dashet he making Grimaces of Wo and crying and wringing his hands Mrs. Dashet crying by him Mrs. Dashet Well Husband this is a very comfortable man Dash He is so But good Mr. Parson leave my Soul a little while to it self I pray and let us have a little of your counsel concerning my Body I owe Mr. Glister the Goldsmith 40 l. and suppose Mr. Parson when I am going to Execution he shou'd be so unneighbourly as to set a Ser jeant upon my back 't was for a Bowl bursts out into loud crying Trick Ah! trouble not thy self my Christian Brother with transitory matters but have an Eye an Eye I say to the main chance picking his pocket I 'll warrant your shoulders but as for your neck Plinius Secundus or Marcus Tullius Cicero or some body says that a threefold Cord is hardly broken Dash A very Learned man this well I am not the first honest man that has been hang'd and I hope shall not be the last crying still Trick True Sir