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lord_n john_n lady_n marry_v 10,714 5 10.3056 5 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A18369 A new booke of mistakes. Or, Bulls with tales, and buls without tales But no lyes by any meanes. Chamberlain, Robert, b. 1607, attributed name. 1637 (1637) STC 4944; ESTC S104927 40,278 260

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I did see but now having two eyes I perceive things more apparant than before A witty answer of a man to his Wife A Certaine Gentleman having married a young maid which had a good portion after two or three dayes hee neglected●sporting and playing with her and fell to his accustomed use of reading and studying after a while his wife not liking hee ●●ould reade and study so much came unto him and said O husband I would I weere a booke then I know you would love me and looke in me and turne me over and over would you be a book ●aid he● yes said shee what booke said hee any booke said shee then said he I would thou wert an Almanacke that then I might have one every yeare Of the Arch-Bishop of Colen A Certaine Labourer as hee saw upon a time the Arch-Bishop of Colen riding all in armes accompanied with a great troop of old souldiers did heartily laugh at it hereupon being demanded why hee did laugh● answered simply that he did but smile marvailing that St. Peter Christs Vicar being himselfe very poore had left his Successors thus rich and wealthy and were ●ther accompanyed with Souldiers and Courtiers than Church-men The Arch-Bishop willing to instruct hi● better in this poynt tol● him that hee was a Duke by birth and an Arch-Bishop by calling and that hee at that present as Duke went thus in armes and guarded with souldiers but when he had occasion to bee in the Church that then he used himselfe as a Bishop My Lord quoth the Laboror I would to God then you would tell mee that if the Dukes grace should happen to fall to the Divels share what should then become of my Lord the Arch-Bishop Of John the eighth Duke of Britaine IOhn the eighth Duke of Britaine wi●ling to marry his sonne Francis unto Isabel daughter to the King of Scots the young Prince inquired what shee was for a Lady answere was made him that she was a very faire D●mosell well favoured comely of body and well disposed for to beare children but that shee wants utterance She ●s such a one as I desire quoth the Duke for I ac●ount a woman wise enough when she can make a difference betweene her husbands shirt and his doublet and to know his bed from another mans and to keepe her out of the raine A witty answere of a Gentleman A Young Gentleman whose mother being a long time a widow and lately dead did mourne for her and being seen● upon a certaine time in the Kings Court mounted on horse-backe with his foote●cloth of Crimson Velvet the Ladies and other Gentlewomen of the Court laughed him to s●orne saying that they found it very strange to see his horse deckt with a foot-cloth of red Velvet whe●eas hee himselfe did mourne for the death of his Mother My Ladies replyed the Gentleman you have heerein some reason but yet yee ought to consider likewise that the mother of my horse is not yet dead as that hee should mourne for her Of a Gentleman buying a Horse in Smithfield A Gentleman being upon a Market day in Smithfield to buy a horse and liking a Stone-horse very well asked● what price the fellow told him and withall said the fellow he is as good a Stone gelding as any is in my Lord Maio●s house Of a French Lawyer A Certaine French Lawyer having in his life-time gathered together great riches and wealth and having no kind●ed to whom he might be queath his wealth as ●ee lay upon his death bed he disposed all his goods to bee imployed in the building of an Hospitall whereinto no other diseased persons should bee received but such as were mad and lunatick allowing every man a large ample portion to their maintenance willed that upon both the fore-gate and back-gate of the Hospitall these words should be written in large golden letters Of mad men I got it to mad men I leave it A good Lest of the Dutchesse of Bourbon THe Dutchesse of Bourbon having in her Court a certaine waiting-maide who for love had forgotten her selfe and so was gotten with childe and being chidden and reprooved for her fault said to excuse it and to save her honesty that a Gentleman of the house had forced and deflowred her against her will The Gentleman heereupon being called for to appeare and cleare himselfe before the Dutchesse she finding him guiltlesse tooke his Rapier and gave it to the Gentlewoman the accusant and holding the Scabbard in her owne hands bid her to put the Rapier into it againe and as she endeavoured to doe it the Dutchesse stirred her hands up and downe inso●uch that the Gentlewoman was not able to put the Rapier into the sheath Whereupon the Dutchesse address●●● her selfe to the Gentlewoman said unto her Goe to no● good Huswife if yo● had done as you have seene mee doe with the S●●bbard you would never have fal●e into this inconvenience wherein you are at this present by your owne fault and folly Of a fellow which robbed a Vestry A Wicked Fellow for robbing of a Vestry was brought before a simple Justice and when they had accused him and that he had nothing to say to excuse himselfe the Justice said Alas poore ●ellow he did it for meere want and for hunger didst not said the Justice● yes said the fellow let him goe let him goe said the Justice hee hath herein but saved the Church-wardens a labour Of a Gentleman and a Farmer A Gentleman comming to a Countrey-farmers house somewhat late to buy some Oates and it chanced that hee was a bed and all his houshold likewise the Gentleman still knocking at the doore very earnestly answere was made what lack you I pray said the Gentleman le● me speake with you no said the ●ellow I cannot speake to yo● for heere is no body at home but I and m● wife and some other that ●re asleep and another that is not well Of a silly Gentleman A Silly Gentleman that met a Gentlewoman who newly before had buried her Husband asked her where hee was shee answered in Heaven I never heard of it before and that he was very sorry for it Of a Countrey-fellow A Countrey-fellow going along the street in London it happened that a masty-dogge ran upon him he stooping to take up some stones to fling at him cryed out that he never knew stones tyed and dogges loose Of a Lady and her Tenant A Lady in the Country invited at Christmas divers of her Tenants and friends and having alittle before gotten the victory in a suite of Law of her adversary said that she was glad it was ended for she had now gotten her will of him besides great costs and charges of suit one of her Tenants starts up as they were set at Table and said he was very joyfull of it for he knew that he had a wrong sow by the eare Of a Souldier A Souldier marching on his way after a troop of horse casting his eye