choice_a experience_n of_o the_o kind_a deal_n of_o god_n before_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n lay_v down_o in_o six_o general_a head_n together_o with_o some_o brief_a observation_n upon_o the_o same_o whereunto_o be_v add_v a_o description_n of_o true_a e_z x_o p_o e_o r_o i_o e_o n_o c_o e._n by_o j._n turner_n wife_n to_o cap._n john_n turner_n psalm_n 66._o 16._o come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n london_n print_v by_o h._n hils_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o the_o black_a spread-eagle_n and_o the_o three_o bibles_n at_o the_o west_n end_n of_o paul_n 1653._o to_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n who_o worship_n god_n in_o spirit_n and_o truth_n according_a to_o the_o holy_a commandment_n of_o jesus_n christ_n especial_o those_o my_o dear_a brethren_n at_o newcastle_n barwick_n and_o scotland_n with_o who_o i_o have_v take_v sweet_a counsel_n in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n for_o several_a year_n pass_v grace_n mercy_n truth_n and_o peace_n be_v multiply_v from_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ._n precious_a and_o dear_o belove_a brethren_n i_o know_v it_o will_v seem_v very_o strange_a to_o you_o if_o this_o follow_a treatise_n shall_v come_v to_o your_o hand_n without_o my_o public_a own_n of_o it_o as_o indeed_o well_o it_o may_v consider_v my_o near_a relation_n to_o the_o author_n it_o be_v no_o small_a joy_n to_o my_o heart_n that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o these_o our_o day_n any_o way_n by_o any_o mean_n to_o put_v his_o people_n in_o mind_n of_o that_o which_o they_o be_v so_o prone_a to_o forget_v namely_o the_o various_a working_n of_o god_n in_o their_o poor_a heart_n which_o you_o will_v find_v in_o this_o small_a treatise_n in_o these_o three_o general_a head_n viz._n before_o in_o and_o since_o conversion_n we_o find_v the_o lord_n in_o scripture_n often_o call_v upon_o his_o people_n to_o remember_v their_o unconverted_a state_n isaiah_n 51._o 1._o 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the_o father_n have_v bestow_v upon_o we_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v call_v the_o son_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n but_o when_o we_o forget_v the_o two_o former_a we_o lose_v our_o communion_n with_o god_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n and_o can_v prize_v and_o improve_v the_o kind_a deal_n of_o our_o god_n with_o we_o since_o conversion_n neither_o walk_v holy_o and_o obedient_o before_o the_o lord_n in_o all_o his_o holy_a appointment_n as_o we_o ought_v but_o leave_v a_o open_a door_n for_o satan_n to_o deceive_v we_o with_o his_o manifold_a tentation_n by_o which_o we_o suffer_v much_o harm_n my_o heart_n desire_n and_o prayer_n to_o the_o lord_n be_v that_o he_o will_v give_v all_o his_o people_n more_o care_n and_o diligence_n in_o watch_v their_o own_o heart_n and_o way_n for_o the_o increase_n of_o their_o spiritual_a strength_n and_o growth_n in_o grace_n lest_o they_o be_v lead_v away_o for_o a_o time_n with_o the_o error_n of_o the_o wicked_a fall_v from_o their_o own_o steadfastness_n 2_o pet._n 3._o 17_o 18._o as_o many_o have_v do_v to_o their_o great_a grief_n and_o loss_n belove_a brethren_n you_o have_v here_o the_o labour_n of_o one_o of_o the_o weak_a sex_n which_o i_o trust_v will_v occasion_v you_o the_o more_o to_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n in_o that_o his_o strength_n appear_v in_o weakness_n be_v it_o not_o for_o the_o relation_n i_o shall_v have_v much_o room_n to_o speak_v of_o the_o author_n and_o this_o her_o work_n but_o i_o shall_v only_o say_v let_v her_o work_n praise_v she_o only_o i_o have_v this_o that_o i_o can_v but_o say_v it_o be_v not_o her_o desire_n to_o publish_v it_o her_o reason_n she_o have_v express_v second_o so_o far_o as_o one_o can_v speak_v for_o another_o i_o can_v say_v for_o my_o wife_n in_o this_o work_n she_o have_v have_v little_a help_n from_o man_n or_o thing_n but_o i_o believe_v much_o from_o the_o lord_n and_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v own_v and_o much_o assist_v she_o in_o these_o her_o great_a labour_n i_o trust_v the_o same_o power_n will_v accompany_v each_o precious_a heart_n into_o who_o hand_n it_o may_v come_v to_o make_v it_o very_o profitable_a to_o they_o at_o my_o first_o sight_n of_o it_o which_o be_v when_o it_o be_v near_o finish_v though_o i_o believe_v i_o be_v the_o first_o that_o see_v it_o next_o herself_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v know_v nothing_o of_o it_o before_o that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v of_o it_o but_o upon_o consideration_n and_o review_v of_o it_o i_o be_v very_o much_o press_v in_o spirit_n to_o publish_v it_o and_o the_o more_o in_o that_o the_o often_o i_o read_v it_o the_o more_o i_o be_v engage_v to_o it_o i_o can_v say_v through_o mercy_n it_o have_v be_v useful_a and_o profitable_a to_o i_o i_o hope_v it_o will_v be_v so_o to_o many_o more_o it_o be_v no_o small_a mercy_n nor_o low_a attainment_n to_o be_v indeed_o a_o experience_a christian_n it_o be_v easy_a to_o have_v fine_a word_n than_o a_o treasure_n in_o the_o heart_n but_o see_v the_o king_n daughter_n be_v all_o glorious_a within_o and_o that_o our_o treasure_n there_o do_v increase_v by_o the_o blessing_n of_o the_o lord_n upon_o our_o diligent_a use_v that_o mean_v ordain_v for_o that_o end_n this_o i_o trust_v will_v be_v a_o faithful_a remembrancer_n and_o helper_n of_o we_o in_o this_o great_a work_n in_o which_o i_o hope_v the_o lord_n will_v have_v much_o glory_n and_o his_o people_n comfort_n which_o have_v be_v be_v and_o i_o trust_v ever_o shall_v be_v the_o earnest_a desire_n of_o your_o poor_a unworthy_a brother_n in_o the_o gospel_n john_n turner_n to_o the_o reader_n reader_n thou_o will_v find_v in_o this_o little_a book_n something_o suitable_a to_o those_o various_a change_n and_o differ_v condition_n that_o ordinary_o poor_a soul_n be_v in_o both_o before_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n only_o except_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o visible_a profaneness_n and_o excess_n of_o riot_n with_o heart_n hand_n and_o tongue_n blaspheme_v the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n in_o a_o unconverted_a state_n the_o author_n be_v keep_v from_o that_o great_a degree_n of_o wickedness_n as_o you_o will_v find_v in_o the_o begin_n of_o her_o book_n if_o this_o shall_v come_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o any_o that_o yet_o live_v in_o those_o pollution_n and_o abominable_a corruption_n the_o lord_n teach_v they_o to_o consider_v that_o if_o civility_n and_o morality_n be_v too_o low_a and_o too_o little_a to_o stand_v the_o soul_n in_o any_o stead_n in_o that_o day_n when_o god_n will_v judge_v the_o secret_n of_o all_o man_n by_o jesus_n christ_n sure_o then_o sin_n and_o profaneness_n will_v be_v a_o miserable_a cover_n this_o little_a treatise_n be_v not_o intend_v principal_o for_o such_o ishmaelite_n but_o rather_o for_o those_o who_o have_v their_o face_n zion_n ward_n inquire_v the_o way_n thither_o as_o also_o to_o such_o as_o have_v a_o name_n and_o place_n where_o the_o honour_n of_o god_n dwell_v to_o all_o such_o i_o may_v say_v as_o a_o encouragement_n to_o peruse_v this_o little_a treatise_n first_o as_o to_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o its_z that_o which_o have_v be_v digest_v and_o it_o may_v well_o be_v call_v experience_n it_o may_v be_v liken_v to_o the_o wine_n that_o christ_n make_v of_o water_n at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o mariage-feast_n be_v last_o it_o be_v better_a than_o the_o first_o though_o doubtless_o the_o first_o wine_n be_v good_a so_o i_o hope_v thou_o will_v find_v these_o few_o line_n though_o good_a at_o the_o first_o yet_o better_a at_o the_o latter_a end_n it_o be_v the_o privilege_n of_o saint_n to_o have_v their_o last_o work_n best_o and_o as_o they_o grow_v in_o year_n to_o grow_v
condition_n and_o what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o who_o as_o i_o have_v former_o hint_v be_v much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o i_o who_o also_o declare_v that_o he_o have_v in_o a_o measure_n receive_v the_o like_a mercy_n which_o do_v much_o increase_v my_o joy_n then_o i_o remember_v he_o desire_v we_o may_v seek_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n and_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o these_o and_o all_o his_o mercy_n in_o which_o duty_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o abundant_o to_o manifest_v himself_o to_o we_o thereby_o testify_v his_o acceptance_n of_o we_o that_o for_o a_o while_o we_o sit_v in_o admiration_n neither_o of_o we_o scarce_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o tear_n and_o true_o it_o be_v such_o a_o mercy_n that_o i_o trust_v we_o shall_v for_o ever_o admire_v it_o at_o least_o in_o these_o five_o particular_n first_o that_o god_n shall_v deal_v so_o faithful_o with_o we_o in_o relation_n to_o his_o promise_n that_o when_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v to_o the_o right_a hand_n or_o to_o the_o left_a he_o cause_v we_o to_o hear_v his_o voice_n behind_o we_o say_v this_o be_v the_o way_n walk_v in_o it_o esay_n 30._o 21._o second_o that_o when_o we_o be_v stray_v from_o truth_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v keep_v we_o that_o we_o stray_v no_o further_a that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v to_o the_o height_n of_o those_o notion_n deny_v the_o church_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o blaspheme_v the_o truth_n as_o very_o many_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o three_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v so_o fatherly_a and_o tender_o in_o his_o restore_n of_o we_o that_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o extraordinary_a affliction_n or_o chastisement_n neither_o be_v we_o at_o any_o time_n a_o trouble_n to_o the_o church_n or_o grief_n to_o any_o saint_n i_o know_v of_o four_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o bring_v we_o off_o so_o clear_o from_o those_o thing_n for_o many_o be_v bring_v off_o from_o they_o and_o yet_o there_o be_v still_o so_o much_o confusion_n remain_v upon_o their_o spirit_n that_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o discern_v whether_o they_o be_v bring_v off_o or_o no._n five_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o mercy_n to_o both_o of_o we_o &_o that_o at_o one_o &_o the_o same_o time_n and_o that_o at_o our_o return_n he_o shall_v manifest_v such_o a_o sweet_a acceptance_n of_o we_o melt_v our_o heart_n into_o tear_n of_o joy_n to_o our_o mutual_a comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o each_o other_o and_o so_o that_o stream_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v now_o turn_v from_o run_v after_o lie_a vanity_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o re-establish_a and_o confirm_v we_o every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o in_o the_o truth_n turn_v this_o sad_a yet_o bless_v experience_n to_o his_o praise_n and_o our_o great_a advantage_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o i_o trust_v shall_v be_v a_o mercy_n that_o shall_v stand_v we_o in_o stead_n at_o time_n of_o need_n while_o we_o live_v which_o the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v so_o to_o the_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o great_a name_n and_o our_o own_o peace_n and_o happiness_n in_o himself_o amen_n some_o further_a consideration_n relate_v to_o this_o part_n of_o my_o experience_n it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o judge_v so_o considerable_a i_o can_v omit_v the_o review_v of_o it_o and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v review_v it_o daily_o so_o as_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n raise_v to_o a_o holy_a admiration_n of_o the_o goodness_n and_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o may_v always_o lie_v as_o a_o strong_a engagement_n upon_o my_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o in_o consideration_n of_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n be_v but_o my_o reasonable_a service_n rom._n 12._o 1._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o these_o deceit_n so_o it_o shall_v be_v my_o prayer_n that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v from_o they_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o error_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o and_o doubtless_o they_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n that_o ever_o satan_n have_v on_o foot_n in_o the_o world_n but_o because_o i_o be_o not_o willing_a to_o pass_v my_o sentence_n without_o ground_n and_o because_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v reprove_v be_v make_v manifest_a by_o the_o light_n and_o that_o which_o do_v make_v manifest_a be_v light_n ephes_n 5._o 13._o i_o desire_v according_a to_o that_o light_n of_o truth_n which_o god_n have_v give_v to_o i_o far_o to_o consider_v not_o only_o in_o general_a that_o those_o kind_n of_o error_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o but_o more_o particular_o how_o they_o be_v so_o first_o i_o conceive_v they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o they_o do_v natural_o tend_v and_o lead_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o evil_a and_o that_o both_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n and_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n first_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n they_o do_v natural_o interrupt_v the_o soul_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o expose_v it_o to_o great_a temptation_n bring_v it_o to_o strait_n and_o extremity_n and_o into_o the_o great_a confusion_n that_o can_v be_v possible_a so_o far_o as_o they_o prevail_v and_o for_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o beside_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o appeal_v to_o any_o experience_a christian_a if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o second_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n they_o lead_v by_o degree_n to_o the_o great_a evil_n both_o in_o a_o spiritual_a and_o 〈…〉_o vil_fw-ge sense_n for_o such_o hearâ—â—_n not_o be_v season_a wiâ—â—_n grace_n they_o run_v from_o onâ—_n notion_n to_o another_o till_o they_o run_v so_o high_a as_o to_o stand_v direct_o in_o opposition_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o gospel_n for_o when_o they_o come_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o at_o a_o loss_n in_o their_o judgement_n and_o meet_v with_o such_o temptation_n which_o those_o error_n natural_o lead_v to_o they_o be_v overcome_v by_o they_o and_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o live_v above_o ordinance_n they_o deny_v the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o by_o degree_n the_o whole_a word_n of_o god_n call_v it_o literal_a and_o carnal_a use_v under_o a_o pretence_n of_o spirituality_n blaspheme_v the_o name_n â—f_n christ_n call_v he_o a_o fleshly_a christ_n and_o so_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 1._o and_o go_v against_o such_o strong_a conviction_n and_o clear_a manifestation_n of_o light_n and_o knowledge_n as_o some_o have_v do_v doubtless_o they_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n express_v in_o heb._n 10._o and_o so_o come_v at_o last_o to_o jeer_v and_o scoff_n at_o all_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n and_o it_o make_v way_n for_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o wickedness_n also_o in_o a_o civil_a sense_n have_v give_v themselves_o up_o to_o work_v all_o uncleanness_n with_o greediness_n esay_n 4._o 19_o and_o so_o break_v all_o bond_n though_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n yet_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n 2_o pet._n 2._o 20._o according_a to_o that_o mat._n 13._o 43_o 44_o 45._o when_o the_o unclean_a spirit_n be_v go_v out_o of_o a_o man_n he_o walk_v through_o dry_a place_n seek_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o than_o he_o return_v and_o take_v seven_o other_o spirit_n more_o wicked_a than_o himself_o and_o they_o enter_v in_o and_o dwell_v there_o and_o the_o last_o state_n of_o that_o man_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n he_o be_v now_o far_o more_o wicked_a than_o ever_o this_o be_v the_o nature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o those_o kind_n of_o notion_n as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n and_o that_o it_o be_v so_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o time_n in_o which_o we_o live_v if_o we_o have_v not_o see_v it_o so_o with_o many_o who_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o evil_a spirit_n seem_v to_o be_v go_v out_o of_o they_o and_o they_o have_v make_v large_a profession_n of_o the_o power_n of_o truth_n in_o their_o heart_n but_o they_o be_v turn_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o with_o the_o sow_n that_o be_v wash_v to_o she_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n glory_v in_o their_o shame_n and_o do_v that_o without_o any_o reluctancy_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v those_o
but_o a_o hatred_n and_o indignation_n against_o it_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o at_o this_o time_n i_o can_v but_o much_o tender_a person_n in_o the_o like_a condition_n who_o do_v manifest_a by_o a_o good_a conversation_n a_o real_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o their_o heart_n though_o live_v in_o a_o discovery_n below_o the_o privilege_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o not_o so_o to_o tender_v they_o as_o not_o to_o tender_v the_o glory_n of_o truth_n above_o they_o be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n in_o keep_v a_o strict_a separation_n from_o they_o in_o relation_n to_o their_o visible_a and_o public_a worship_n it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o the_o gospel_n three_o observation_n from_o the_o three_o forego_v reason_n first_o concern_v the_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o may_v be_v a_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n to_o life_n and_o godliness_n long_o before_o that_o soul_n come_v to_o enjoy_v life_n by_o believe_v second_o concern_v my_o be_v stay_v upon_o christ_n when_o i_o be_v like_a to_o sink_v upder_v my_o burden_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o soul_n may_v cleave_v to_o and_o real_o stay_v upon_o christ_n through_o some_o apprehension_n which_o present_v he_o lovely_a though_o it_o may_v be_v that_o which_o do_v not_o present_v he_o so_o lovely_a as_o indeed_o he_o be_v three_o concern_v that_o entire_a love_n i_o have_v to_o christ_n and_o his_o way_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n manifest_v to_o a_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o ordinary_o beget_v love_n in_o the_o soul_n to_o christ_n yet_o its_o possible_a there_o may_v be_v a_o real_a love_n to_o he_o before_o there_o be_v such_o a_o manifestation_n now_o have_v mind_v many_o particular_n as_o to_o my_o condition_n at_o that_o time_n when_o i_o do_v experience_n these_o thing_n i_o can_v altogether_o omit_v the_o kindness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o persecution_n which_o though_o it_o be_v but_o small_a comparative_o with_o some_o other_o yet_o it_o be_v more_o than_o some_o meet_v with_o and_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o do_v require_v some_o strength_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o undergo_v it_o with_o comfort_n in_o which_o he_o not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o judge_v it_o ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o and_o as_o i_o have_v comfort_n in_o it_o at_o that_o time_n present_a so_o i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o suffer_v not_o as_o a_o evil_a doer_n because_o what_o i_o do_v then_o be_v upon_o a_o conscientious_a account_n according_a to_o that_o light_n receive_v i_o can_v mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v hearty_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v never_o be_v lay_v to_o their_o charge_n but_o this_o book_n be_v intend_v by_o i_o as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o former_a deal_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o i_o think_v it_o not_o altogether_o useless_a as_o to_o remember_v the_o time_n i_o be_v in_o that_o condition_n &_o the_o manner_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o so_o also_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v bring_v from_o it_o and_o that_o be_v after_o the_o bishop_n be_v quite_o take_v away_o in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o sit_v of_o the_o late_a synod_n and_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v not_o ensnare_v by_o the_o change_n of_o time_n and_o law_n for_o at_o that_o very_a time_n when_o the_o presbyterian_a party_n so_o call_v begin_v to_o reign_v and_o i_o may_v have_v reign_v with_o they_o and_o enjoy_v smile_n from_o they_o be_v convict_v of_o a_o further_a discovery_n of_o truth_n i_o leave_v they_o and_o be_v content_a to_o become_v a_o scorn_n and_o a_o byword_n among_o they_o though_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v much_o respect_n from_o some_o of_o they_o all_o along_o yet_o my_o suffering_n from_o that_o party_n be_v far_o more_o than_o the_o former_a i_o can_v here_o mention_v many_o particular_n but_o i_o forbear_v desire_v as_o for_o the_o former_a it_o may_v not_o be_v charge_v upon_o they_o only_o these_o general_a hint_n i_o hope_v will_v be_v sufficient_a to_o bring_v particular_n to_o my_o remembrance_n for_o these_o thing_n ought_v not_o to_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o because_o in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n much_o engage_v in_o praise_n to_o god_n and_o that_o several_a way_n one_o way_n and_o that_o not_o the_o least_o be_v that_o god_n have_v break_v their_o power_n for_o indeed_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v that_o according_a to_o my_o observation_n and_o experience_n i_o have_v see_v as_o persecute_v a_o spirit_n in_o they_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o the_o former_a and_o they_o do_v appear_v as_o bitter_a if_o not_o more_o against_o such_o as_o be_v call_v anabaptist_n than_o ever_o the_o bishop_n do_v against_o those_o that_o be_v call_v puritan_n consider_v their_o time_n and_o power_n for_o as_o their_o time_n be_v short_a so_o when_o their_o power_n be_v high_a there_o be_v always_o a_o party_n which_o do_v a_o little_a awe_n they_o i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o that_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n in_o the_o remembrance_n of_o they_o so_o i_o do_v likewise_o desire_v that_o god_n will_v destroy_v or_o at_o least_o keep_v under_o every_o persecute_v spirit_n under_o what_o name_n or_o title_n soever_o call_v till_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v they_o repentance_n the_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n how_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o apprehend_v and_o believe_v the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o in_o believe_v to_o receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o this_o experience_n i_o can_v omit_v to_o write_v something_o concern_v the_o read_n of_o a_o book_n by_o which_o as_o a_o mean_n in_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n i_o receive_v these_o never_o to_o be_v forget_v mercy_n after_o i_o have_v live_v about_o five_o or_o six_o year_n a_o strict_a professor_n be_v very_o confident_a and_o settle_a upon_o the_o lees_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n there_o come_v a_o man_n to_o the_o town_n where_o i_o live_v who_o though_o he_o be_v general_o repute_v to_o be_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o he_o be_v much_o oppose_v as_o hold_v gross_a error_n in_o his_o judgement_n and_o hear_v many_o speak_v very_o bitter_o against_o he_o i_o do_v much_o ponder_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n not_o daâ—ing_v as_o nicodemus_n speak_v concern_v christ_n john_n 7._o 50._o to_o judge_v before_o i_o hear_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v with_o he_o which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v he_o speak_v such_o thing_n as_o i_o never_o hear_v before_o which_o i_o then_o ignorant_o judge_v to_o be_v error_n the_o thing_n he_o chief_o speak_v of_o be_v about_o free_a grace_n the_o nature_n of_o the_o gospel_n and_o the_o new_a covenant_n and_o though_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o gain_v say_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o he_o speak_v yet_o for_o fear_n of_o those_o evil_a consequence_n that_o a_o carnal_a heart_n may_v draw_v from_o they_o i_o can_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o after_o some_o discourse_n in_o much_o opposition_n yet_o not_o bitter_a against_o he_o in_o the_o close_a he_o desire_v to_o lend_v i_o a_o book_n in_o which_o he_o say_v concern_v the_o thing_n he_o speak_v i_o may_v find_v better_a satisfaction_n than_o he_o can_v give_v be_v but_o weak_a in_o expression_n so_o i_o take_v it_o home_o with_o i_o but_o be_v much_o afraid_a of_o error_n i_o be_v at_o a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o own_o spirit_n whether_o i_o shall_v read_v it_o or_o not_o but_o fear_v lest_o i_o shall_v seem_v to_o shut_v my_o eye_n against_o the_o light_n at_o last_o i_o come_v to_o this_o result_n that_o i_o will_v read_v it_o but_o first_o set_v a_o part_n a_o day_n by_o fast_v and_o prayer_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o what_o be_v truth_n in_o it_o i_o may_v embrace_v and_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v and_o preserve_v i_o from_o error_n which_o according_o i_o do_v and_o find_v the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o the_o book_n be_v to_o exalt_v god_n and_o lay_v low_a the_o creature_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o as_o also_o with_o some_o other_o particular_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n these_o minister_n who_o word_n be_v then_o as_o oracle_n to_o i_o do_v so_o much_o cry_v out_o against_o it_o charge_v all_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o it_o be_v full_a of_o error_n of_o dangerous_a consequence_n that_o when_o i_o come_v about_o the_o middle_n of_o it_o i_o be_v so_o surprise_v with_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n
a_o confusion_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v by_o which_o i_o be_v again_o hinder_v from_o my_o duty_n be_v willing_a to_o try_v that_o doctrine_n i_o not_o have_v hear_v the_o like_o before_o it_o be_v full_a of_o entice_a word_n of_o man_n wisdom_n which_o i_o do_v with_o as_o much_o diligence_n try_v for_o some_o time_n examine_v the_o scripture_n about_o it_o as_o ever_o i_o do_v any_o doctrine_n but_o can_v find_v nothing_o in_o it_o but_o confusion_n a_o mere_a sound_n of_o word_n some_o of_o those_o big_a swell_a word_n of_o vanity_n speak_v of_o judas_n 16._o 2_o pet._n 2._o 18._o so_o through_o mercy_n i_o leave_v it_o and_o escape_v that_o snare_n which_o i_o desire_v to_o remember_v to_o the_o praise_n of_o god_n then_o i_o resolve_v to_o prosecute_v my_o former_a purpose_n in_o relation_n to_o those_o duty_n before_o mention_v yet_o still_o linger_a in_o babylon_n till_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v by_o a_o stretched-out_a arm_n and_o clear_a voice_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n those_o word_n in_o the_o 22._o chapter_n of_o the_o act_n verse_n 6._o arise_v and_o be_v baptize_v why_o tarrye_v thou_o and_o as_o i_o remember_v for_o some_o day_n together_o whatever_o i_o be_v do_v those_o word_n be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n than_o i_o begin_v to_o take_v particular_a notice_n of_o it_o apply_v it_o to_o my_o own_o condition_n whether_o i_o be_v able_a to_o give_v a_o reason_n why_o i_o tarry_v the_o lord_n have_v remove_v all_o my_o scruple_n and_o answer_v all_o my_o objection_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v then_o much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v we_o have_v some_o discourse_n about_o it_o and_o the_o result_n be_v that_o the_o next_o first_o day_n we_o will_v go_v to_o the_o church_n where_o we_o have_v often_o hear_v and_o declare_v what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o we_o in_o the_o great_a work_n of_o conversion_n desire_v also_o to_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o his_o command_n which_o according_o we_o do_v and_o give_v they_o full_a satisfaction_n and_o the_o week_n follow_v be_v baptize_v and_o add_v to_o the_o church_n be_v sweet_o satisfy_v and_o comfort_v therein_o and_o as_o for_o my_o former_a scruple_n i_o be_v trouble_v no_o more_o with_o they_o and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o hear_n out_o of_o the_o church_n i_o never_o desire_v it_o since_o but_o god_n be_v please_v and_o still_o be_v to_o satisfy_v i_o with_o the_o fatness_n of_o his_o house_n feed_v i_o with_o green_a pasture_n there_o and_o sit_v under_o the_o shadow_n of_o christ_n his_o fruit_n be_v sweet_a to_o my_o taste_n which_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v find_v so_o do_v as_o he_o have_v command_v until_o his_o second_o come_v some_o brief_a observation_n upon_o this_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v those_o thought_n that_o though_o i_o have_v nothing_o to_o do_v to_o be_v save_v yet_o i_o have_v much_o to_o do_v to_o glorify_v god_n etc._n etc._n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v the_o duty_n of_o all_o that_o have_v receive_v the_o grace_n of_o god_n to_o be_v active_a for_o his_o glory_n so_o it_o be_v the_o nature_n of_o grace_n to_o teach_v and_o engage_v saint_n to_o do_v the_o same_o second_o concern_v my_o ignorance_n of_o baptism_n and_o other_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o all_o my_o former_a experience_n in_o point_n of_o faith_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o person_n may_v have_v much_o experience_n in_o point_n of_o privilege_n and_o yet_o be_v ignorant_a of_o their_o duty_n as_o indeed_o we_o be_v more_o apt_a to_o learn_v the_o one_o than_o the_o other_o three_o concern_v my_o ignorance_n of_o that_o which_o be_v so_o plain_o express_v in_o scripture_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o light_n discover_v darkness_n and_o though_o truth_n be_v never_o so_o plain_o express_v yet_o ignorance_n can_v apprehend_v it_o four_o concern_v those_o interruption_n and_o temptation_n that_o keep_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o natural_o we_o be_v so_o averse_a to_o duty_n that_o we_o be_v a_o long_a time_n before_o we_o know_v our_o duty_n and_o when_o we_o know_v they_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v keep_v from_o do_v they_o by_o very_a trifle_n and_o that_o it_o be_v satan_n policy_n if_o he_o can_v keep_v we_o from_o know_v our_o duty_n to_o cast_v stumbling-block_n in_o our_o way_n if_o possible_a to_o keep_v we_o we_o from_o do_v they_o 2._o i_o observe_v that_o though_o christ_n yoke_n be_v easy_a yet_o we_o be_v hardly_o bring_v to_o put_v it_o on_o five_o concern_v the_o first_o hindrance_n that_o i_o think_v it_o some_o bondage_n to_o be_v in_o a_o church_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o through_o ignorance_n of_o the_o nature_n of_o christian_a liberty_n we_o be_v too_o subject_a to_o think_v that_o bondage_n which_o be_v not_o only_a liberty_n but_o a_o great_a privilege_n six_o concern_v the_o second_o hindrance_n which_o be_v the_o unsuitable_a walking_n of_o some_o particular_a person_n then_o in_o the_o church_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o consideration_n of_o our_o stumble_n at_o the_o fail_n of_o other_o shall_v make_v we_o careful_a lest_o we_o occasion_n other_o to_o stumble_v at_o we_o seven_o concern_v the_o three_o hindrance_n that_o it_o be_v our_o liberty_n whether_o we_o will_v walk_v in_o church_n and_o submit_v to_o ordinance_n or_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o we_o be_v natural_o so_o addict_v to_o liberty_n that_o we_o be_v many_o time_n ready_a to_o cast_v off_o all_o obedience_n and_o to_o look_v on_o the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n as_o indifferent_a thing_n eight_o concern_v the_o four_o hindrance_n fear_v lest_o i_o have_v not_o faith_n enough_o to_o suffer_v for_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o distrustful_a thought_n of_o future_a mercy_n many_o time_n keep_v we_o from_o improve_n present_a mercy_n nineth_o concern_v those_o conviction_n that_o though_o i_o be_v scruple_v about_o truth_n yet_o can_v not_o leave_v it_o so_o but_o endeavour_v after_o full_a satisfaction_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o strong_a conviction_n be_v not_o easy_o put_v out_o and_o where_o grace_n be_v predominant_a there_o will_v be_v a_o endeavour_v not_o to_o smother_v but_o to_o answer_v they_o ten_o concern_v that_o other_o hindrance_n by_o strange_a doctrine_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o as_o faith_n come_v by_o hear_v so_o there_o may_v be_v a_o hear_n that_o tend_v to_o the_o prejudice_n of_o faith_n and_o such_o i_o conclude_v be_v all_o hear_n out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o god_n though_o some_o more_o some_o less_o i_o mean_v public_a hear_n out_o of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n and_o though_o some_o do_v judge_v it_o their_o liberty_n and_o privilege_n so_o to_o do_v i_o must_v needs_o confess_v i_o can_v so_o judge_v for_o though_o possible_o glorious_a thing_n may_v be_v speak_v yet_o what_o privilege_n can_v it_o be_v for_o saint_n to_o hear_v glorious_a thing_n where_o there_o be_v no_o promise_n of_o a_o blessing_n from_o god_n and_o therefore_o i_o may_v say_v as_o the_o apostle_n of_o speak_v in_o a_o unknown_a tongue_n i_o have_v wrather_o hear_v five_o word_n from_o a_o true_a ministry_n or_o in_o a_o church_n of_o christ_n where_o he_o have_v promise_v his_o blessing_n and_o presence_n than_o five_o thousand_o elsewhere_o though_o i_o desire_v in_o a_o personal_a way_n to_o own_o and_o embrace_v all_o or_o any_o appearance_n of_o god_n where_o ever_o i_o find_v it_o and_o can_v upon_o that_o account_n true_o say_v i_o do_v much_o respect_n love_n and_o delight_n in_o some_o who_o be_v not_o yet_o come_v up_o to_o the_o true_a worship_n of_o christ_n in_o his_o church_n but_o i_o must_v be_v true_a to_o my_o principle_n i_o can_v see_v how_o we_o that_o be_v according_a to_o the_o gosspel_n join_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o his_o church_n by_o which_o we_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o world_n a_o visible_a profession_n of_o his_o name_n and_o a_o separation_n from_o all_o false_a way_n of_o worship_n which_o in_o our_o principle_n we_o judge_v they_o who_o be_v not_o right_o constitute_v with_o we_o according_a to_o the_o appointment_n and_o practice_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o apostle_n to_o be_v no_o other_o i_o say_v i_o can_v see_v how_o we_o can_v meet_v with_o they_o in_o their_o public_a worship_n to_o hear_v their_o minister_n or_o in_o any_o other_o spiritual_a duty_n but_o it_o be_v a_o cross_v our_o own_o principle_n as_o thus_o they_o own_v themselves_o true_a church_n and_o minister_n of_o christ_n the_o ignorant_a world_n know_v not_o but_o they_o be_v so_o we_o by_o our_o presence_n be_v silent_a do_v say_v
the_o same_o though_o in_o our_o judgement_n we_o can_v so_o own_v they_o which_o be_v a_o plain_a contradiction_n in_o our_o principle_n we_o say_v they_o be_v not_o church_n and_o minister_n of_o christ_n by_o our_o practice_n we_o say_v they_o be_v as_o have_v be_v mind_v second_o as_o it_o be_v a_o contradiction_n of_o our_o own_o principle_n so_o it_o have_v have_v such_o effect_n which_o be_v too_o visible_a and_o remain_v unto_o this_o day_n i_o must_v confess_v in_o my_o most_o serious_a thought_n i_o have_v wonder_v what_o shall_v be_v the_o reason_n that_o any_o in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n shall_v desire_v to_o be_v elsewhere_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v no_o reason_n to_o be_v give_v for_o it_o neither_o from_o scripture_n nor_o experience_n therefore_o i_o conclude_v it_o be_v either_o from_o ignorance_n &_o so_o person_n in_o their_o practice_n cross_v their_o own_o principle_n and_o not_o know_v it_o or_o else_o it_o be_v from_o corrupt_a principle_n or_o else_o they_o be_v overcome_v by_o some_o violent_a temptation_n as_o to_o the_o 1._o of_o these_o i_o trust_v there_o be_v not_o many_o in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n so_o ignorant_a as_o to_o the_o 2._o it_o be_v the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o god_n will_v reprove_v &_o show_v they_o the_o evil_a of_o such_o principle_n and_o recover_v they_o out_o of_o such_o snare_n as_o to_o the_o 3._o let_v they_o take_v heed_n lest_o have_v put_v their_o hand_n to_o the_o plough_n and_o look_v back_o they_o become_v unfit_a for_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n luke_n 9_o 62._o and_o let_v they_o likewise_o take_v heed_n of_o please_a man_n or_o halt_v between_o two_o opinion_n but_o if_o god_n be_v god_n follow_v he_o if_o baal_n follow_v he_o 1_o king_n 28_o 21._o this_o may_v seem_v harsh_a language_n to_o some_o but_o i_o be_o satisfy_v that_o what_o i_o have_v write_v have_v not_o be_v from_o a_o censorious_a spirit_n to_o judge_n of_o the_o final_a state_n of_o any_o or_o to_o question_v the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o any_o where_o it_o do_v appear_v in_o the_o least_o measure_n and_o therefore_o let_v none_o say_v that_o because_o i_o can_v own_v any_o to_o be_v true_a church_n or_o minister_n of_o christ_n but_o such_o as_o be_v in_o the_o same_o order_n with_o we_o that_o therefore_o i_o say_v there_o be_v nothing_o of_o god_n or_o truth_n in_o they_o or_o that_o none_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o ourselves_o or_o that_o we_o love_v none_o but_o those_o of_o our_o own_o judgement_n which_o if_o any_o do_v so_o think_v or_o speak_v of_o we_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a mistake_n for_o if_o i_o may_v speak_v for_o other_o as_o i_o have_v already_o say_v i_o do_v upon_o a_o godly_a account_n love_n and_o delight_n in_o some_o who_o be_v not_o in_o our_o church_n and_o do_v wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o those_o glorious_a promise_n when_o they_o and_o we_o shall_v have_v a_o pure_a language_n &_o shall_v call_v upon_o the_o lord_n &_o serve_v he_o with_o one_o consent_n and_o when_o we_o shall_v have_v one_o heart_n and_o one_o way_n and_o there_o shall_v be_v one_o lord_n and_o his_o name_n one_o zeph._n 3._o 9_o jer._n 32._o 39_o zach._n 14._o 9_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n let_v none_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o grow_v cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o the_o great_a thing_n of_o god_n for_o none_o can_v true_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o promise_n but_o such_o as_o do_v wait_v in_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n receive_v and_o so_o those_o that_o have_v but_o a_o little_a of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o god_n let_v they_o follow_v on_o to_o know_v the_o lord_n hosea_n 6._o 3._o and_o let_v those_o that_o be_v in_o the_o faith_n earnest_o contend_v for_o it_o judas_n 3._o and_o such_o as_o be_v in_o gospel_n church_n let_v they_o stand_v fast_o in_o one_o spirit_n with_o one_o mind_n strive_v together_o for_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o gospel_n phil._n 1._o 27._o and_o let_v every_o one_o that_o name_v the_o name_n of_o christ_n depart_v from_o iniquity_n 2_o timothy_n 2._o 19_o and_o those_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a psalm_n 97._o 10._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v that_o none_o may_v slight_v grow_v cold_a or_o indifferent_a in_o the_o great_a thing_n of_o god_n under_o a_o pretence_n of_o wait_v for_o high_a enjoyment_n or_o discovery_n which_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o late_a day_n so_o i_o desire_v likewise_o that_o none_o may_v plead_v against_o the_o truth_n under_o a_o pretence_n of_o love_n as_o many_o do_v in_o these_o day_n labour_v to_o confound_v light_n with_o darkness_n truth_n with_o error_n and_o to_o make_v a_o agreement_n where_o god_n have_v make_v none_o let_v such_o know_v that_o true_a spiritual_a love_n as_o it_o be_v wrought_v in_o the_o heart_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n so_o it_o be_v bound_v within_o the_o limit_n of_o truth_n love_n and_o truth_n go_v hand_n in_o hand_n it_o be_v so_o fix_v upon_o god_n that_o it_o love_v all_o in_o and_o for_o he_o spiritual_a love_n must_v have_v a_o spiritual_a object_n and_o as_o the_o object_n be_v more_o or_o less_o visible_a so_o be_v that_o love_n it_o can_v love_v every_o thing_n alike_o nay_o it_o work_n as_o well_o by_o hatred_n of_o evil_a as_o approve_v that_o which_o be_v good_a psa_n 101._o psa_fw-la 97._o 10._o rev._n 2._o 6._o psa_fw-la 119._o 122_o 128._o it_o love_v that_o which_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v that_o which_o he_o hate_v it_o love_v the_o word_n of_o god_n the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n and_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o hate_v all_o that_o be_v in_o opposition_n to_o these_o it_o rejoice_v not_o in_o iniquity_n but_o rejoice_v in_o the_o truth_n 1_o cor._n 13._o 6._o this_o be_v true_a spiritual_a love_n in_o which_o we_o be_v to_o receive_v every_o truth_n and_o by_o which_o faith_n work_v 2_o thes_n 2._o 10._o gal._n 5._o 6._o and_o i_o dare_v affirm_v whatever_o person_n may_v pretend_v of_o spiritual_a love_n that_o be_v not_o of_o this_o nature_n it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n and_o that_o all_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n ought_v to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o the_o five_o note_n of_o experience_n concern_v notion_n and_o pretend_a spirituality_n in_o which_o satan_n transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o how_o far_o i_o be_v deceive_v by_o it_o and_o how_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o out_o of_o it_o be_v now_o through_o much_o mercy_n bring_v out_o of_o babylon_n into_o zion_n to_o partake_v of_o those_o dainty_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v prepare_v for_o his_o people_n there_o satan_n that_o grand_a enemy_n of_o mankind_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n seek_v who_o he_o may_v devour_v 1_o pet._n 5._o 8._o envy_n my_o happiness_n and_o wait_v his_o opportunity_n to_o catch_v i_o as_o a_o fish_n in_o the_o water_n cover_v his_o hook_n with_o a_o bait_n of_o mystery_n and_o spirituality_n who_o though_o i_o have_v escape_v he_o in_o all_o his_o former_a appearance_n as_o a_o devil_n yet_o now_o transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o ever_o thereby_o to_o beguile_v and_o deceive_v i_o know_v that_o those_o that_o be_v so_o deceive_v be_v the_o fit_a agent_n to_o promote_v his_o kingdom_n and_o that_o many_o time_n he_o prevail_v this_o way_n when_o he_o can_v prevail_v no_o other_o way_n draw_v person_n to_o that_o by_o degree_n through_o corrupt_a principle_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v such_o principle_n but_o god_n be_v please_v not_o only_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n but_o also_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n by_o which_o person_n be_v bring_v to_o such_o thing_n that_o so_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n i_o may_v avoid_v those_o way_n and_o also_o forewarn_v other_o to_o avoid_v they_o likewise_o but_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o discover_v satan_n under_o these_o veil_n by_o harken_v to_o the_o voice_n of_o the_o tempter_n in_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o i_o desire_v ever_o to_o be_v humble_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n i_o be_v deceive_v and_o beguile_v by_o he_o in_o some_o particular_a thing_n and_o that_o after_o this_o manner_n after_o we_o have_v live_v some_o time_n in_o london_n walk_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o gospel_n it_o please_v god_n to_o remove_v our_o habitation_n into_o the_o country_n where_o we_o have_v not_o that_o privilege_n and_o after_o a_o while_n my_o husband_n be_v in_o the_o army_n it_o occasion_v our_o
daily_a supply_n and_o in_o the_o daily_a exercise_n of_o what_o we_o have_v to_o give_v we_o more_o yet_o all_o of_o grace_n free_o and_o so_o grace_n for_o grace_n as_o appear_v in_o the_o 1._o of_o john_n 6._o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o that_o i_o have_v write_v i_o judge_v that_o its_o possible_a some_o saint_n may_v be_v very_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_n for_o the_o subdue_a of_o some_o particular_a corruption_n and_o for_o the_o supply_n of_o some_o particular_a grace_n and_o yet_o not_o attain_v it_o but_o god_n be_v please_v to_o withhold_v it_o from_o they_o and_o lest_o they_o shall_v be_v to_o much_o exalt_v to_o leave_v some_o corruption_n for_o they_o to_o strive_v and_o struggle_v with_o it_o may_v be_v as_o long_o as_o they_o live_v which_o for_o aught_o i_o know_v be_v paul_n very_a case_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 8._o and_o the_o lord_n may_v exercise_v one_o grace_n in_o we_o by_o the_o want_n of_o another_o yea_o all_o by_o the_o want_n of_o one_o not_o that_o saint_n be_v without_o all_o in_o their_o nature_n but_o as_o to_o a_o great_a measure_n in_o some_o particular_n and_o so_o far_o as_o i_o have_v experience_v this_o though_o i_o be_o still_o subject_a to_o suspect_v my_o own_o diligence_n in_o the_o use_n of_o mean_n i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o god_n be_v never_o want_v in_o such_o case_n with_o support_n from_o himself_o say_v my_o grace_n be_v sufficient_a for_o thou_o my_o power_n be_v make_v manifest_a in_o weakness_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 9_o and_o though_o sin_n be_v in_o you_o it_o shall_v shall_v not_o reign_v there_o neither_o shall_v it_o have_v dominion_n over_o you_o because_o yea_o be_v not_o under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n rom._n 6._o 11_o 12_o 1â—_n i_o shall_v say_v no_o more_o now_o of_o these_o thing_n but_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o myself_o with_o all_o saint_n may_v press_v more_o after_o they_o the_o conclusion_n have_v thus_o far_o writtenof_o my_o experience_n in_o several_a general_a head_n which_o do_v include_v many_o particular_a experiment_n i_o have_v some_o thought_n to_o have_v write_v of_o many_o other_o thing_n but_o my_o book_n be_v almost_o full_a i_o shall_v conclude_v with_o a_o few_o line_n as_o to_o experience_n itself_o what_o it_o be_v how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v it_o be_v attain_v there_o be_v various_a thing_n about_o which_o person_n may_v be_v exercise_v in_o way_n of_o experience_n yet_o all_o may_v be_v divide_v under_o one_o of_o these_o two_o head_n it_o be_v either_o in_o relation_n to_o the_o world_n or_o in_o relation_n to_o god_n as_o to_o that_o of_o the_o world_n it_o be_v all_o but_o vanity_n and_o vexation_n of_o spirit_n eccl._n 1._o 14._o and_o he_o that_o uncrease_v knowledge_n in_o those_o thing_n increase_v sorrow_n verse_n 18._o and_o though_o there_o may_v be_v something_o of_o that_o nature_n convenient_a for_o saint_n to_o know_v upon_o a_o natural_a or_o civil_a account_n it_o be_v but_o perish_v at_o best_a and_o therefore_o too_o low_o for_o they_o to_o spend_v much_o of_o their_o precious_a time_n and_o thought_n about_o it_o be_v their_o privilege_n to_o have_v enlarge_a experience_n in_o the_o great_a thing_n of_o god_n thing_n that_o be_v last_a and_o durable_a to_o eternity_n and_o as_o godly_a person_n may_v have_v experience_n in_o some_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n so_o carnal_a person_n may_v have_v experience_n of_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n in_o some_o thing_n as_o to_o many_o outward_a blessing_n and_o deliverance_n by_o a_o common_a hand_n of_o providence_n in_o which_o they_o do_v many_o time_n so_o bless_v themselves_o as_o if_o they_o be_v high_o in_o favour_n with_o god_n when_o the_o lord_n know_v it_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n but_o it_o may_v be_v they_o have_v their_o portion_n in_o this_o life_n and_o be_v deliver_v from_o a_o lesser_a to_o be_v reserve_v to_o a_o great_a destruction_n but_o as_o to_o experience_n from_o a_o truesanctified_a knowledge_n or_o special_a work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n they_o be_v altogether_o stranger_n to_o it_o 1_o cor._n 2._o 14._o its_o only_o the_o privilege_n of_o saint_n to_o be_v eminent_a in_o that_o and_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o privilege_n so_o great_a that_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o have_v make_v i_o who_o be_o so_o unworthy_a in_o any_o measure_n to_o partake_v of_o it_o for_o thing_n mere_o historical_a or_o traditional_a will_v vanish_v and_o come_v to_o nothing_o and_o so_o far_o as_o we_o partake_v of_o truth_n not_o only_o in_o its_o principle_n as_o to_o the_o understanding_n of_o it_o from_o scripture_n rule_n but_o also_o in_o its_o experience_n as_o to_o the_o effect_n and_o operation_n of_o it_o in_o our_o heart_n so_o far_o it_o will_v stand_v we_o instead_o and_o so_o far_o do_v we_o attain_v true_a wisdom_n and_o no_o far_o and_o indeed_o as_o to_o the_o effect_n and_o operation_n of_o it_o in_o the_o heart_n it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o christianity_n yet_o as_o to_o rule_v for_o the_o receive_n of_o any_o principle_n one_o word_n of_o scripture_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o all_o our_o experience_n and_o as_o to_o the_o avoid_n of_o evil_a its_o better_a to_o learn_v that_o any_o way_n than_o by_o the_o experience_n of_o it_o for_o so_o it_o be_v the_o school_n of_o fool_n yet_o wise_a man_n have_v so_o learn_v in_o some_o thing_n now_o according_a to_o my_o understanding_n experience_n be_v more_o than_o a_o bare_a knowledge_n it_o be_v either_o a_o begetter_n or_o a_o effect_n of_o knowledge_n and_o have_v always_o relation_n to_o some_o rule_n whether_o it_o be_v in_o natural_a or_o spiritual_a thing_n if_o in_o natural_a thing_n it_o must_v answer_v a_o rule_n of_o nature_n if_o in_o spiritual_a it_o must_v answer_v a_o spiritual_a rule_n and_o the_o holy_a scripture_n be_v that_o rule_n by_o which_o all_o christian_a experience_n must_v be_v try_v according_a to_o the_o lord_n own_o appointment_n esa_n 8._o 20._o and_o all_o must_v answer_v some_o rule_n therein_o express_v or_o employ_v by_o rule_n in_o this_o sense_n i_o mean_v the_o scripture_n declare_v the_o same_o thing_n and_o as_o it_o must_v answer_v a_o rule_n in_o itself_o so_o answerable_a to_o that_o knowledge_n and_o understanding_n which_o person_n have_v in_o the_o rule_n so_o be_v the_o measure_n of_o their_o experience_n for_o though_o some_o person_n have_v much_o knowledge_n as_o to_o principle_n and_o but_o little_a experience_n yet_o none_o can_v have_v experience_n of_o that_o they_o do_v not_o understand_v either_o in_o a_o principle_n before_o they_o have_v that_o experience_n or_o else_o they_o have_v learn_v that_o principle_n by_o experience_n for_o as_o i_o say_v before_o all_o experience_n be_v either_o a_o effect_n of_o knowledge_n or_o by_o it_o we_o learn_v knowledge_n otherwise_o it_o can_v be_v experience_n this_o i_o mind_v the_o rather_o because_o some_o person_n do_v please_v themselves_o with_o a_o conceit_a experience_n though_o ignorant_a in_o the_o principle_n of_o truth_n when_o there_o can_v be_v such_o a_o thing_n i_o must_v confess_v i_o have_v be_v grieve_v to_o hear_v such_o person_n speak_v of_o their_o experience_n when_o it_o do_v appear_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o some_o that_o will_v be_v preacher_n of_o the_o law_n 1_o tim._n 1._o 7._o they_o know_v not_o what_o they_o say_v nor_o whereof_o they_o affirm_v and_o these_o be_v two_o sort_n of_o person_n first_o such_o as_o through_o ignorance_n of_o the_o scripture_n do_v imagine_v that_o to_o be_v christian_a experience_n which_o do_v not_o answer_v a_o rule_n of_o scripture_n but_o be_v contrary_a thereto_o 2._o such_o as_o from_o corrupt_a principle_n will_v set_v up_o their_o experience_n above_o or_o equal_v to_o the_o authority_n of_o scripture_n as_o to_o give_v a_o be_v to_o institution_n or_o to_o make_v it_o a_o rule_n to_o judge_v and_o try_v all_o thing_n yea_o the_o very_a scripture_n itself_o when_o both_o it_o and_o they_o must_v be_v judge_v thereby_o rom._n 2._o 16._o there_o be_v much_o corrupt_a experience_n in_o the_o world_n and_o person_n have_v be_v as_o much_o mistake_v in_o their_o experience_n especial_o in_o these_o day_n as_o in_o any_o thing_n i_o know_v and_o no_o marvel_n when_o they_o leave_v the_o scripture_n as_o to_o rule_v &_o walk_v by_o the_o uncertain_a rule_n of_o their_o own_o experience_n which_o many_o time_n be_v nothing_o but_o the_o vision_n of_o their_o own_o brain_n yet_o notwithstanding_o the_o great_a mistake_n of_o many_o through_o corrupt_a experience_n yet_o true_a christian_a experience_n be_v as_o excellent_a as_o ever_o and_o that_o as_o i_o say_v before_o be_v more_o than_o a_o bare_a knowledge_n it_o be_v truth_n bring_v home_o to_o