from the holy visitation of his compassionate freind which had received and beleived as conduceing to his satisfaction so that instead of setling downe in heart and mind into the holy operation of it thereby to feel his deliverance he steales away his heart therefrom and begets him into a boasting and exalting spirit to talk of that his enjoyment and thereby to a loss he came and an abatement of the supply thereby which he had some hopes of whilst it manifested it self unto him and he joyning him self thereto for its assistance and releife And being made destitute thereof by so doing more then a knowledg in his braine and vaine boasting he soon felt the former miserie to revive which made him to groan within him self as one like unto a ship tossed in the troubled sea by the restless waves thereof without a rudder and in danger of perishing every moment This made the man to recollect him self whereby he saw not that subjection feare and humilitie in his heart which he was inclined to by the former visitation nor him self persecuteing that former desire of his of casting himself upon the goodnes and mercie of the Lord that so he might know a settlement in a habitation of quietness and peace And begon to see and understand that there was an adverse part spirit or power in him unto his salvation which did get and steale away his minde from waiting for it And further that there was also a Spirit principle or power in him which wrought in his minde against the former and him for joyning to it which brake his peace and made those woundings in his soule from whence arose all those feares distresses and miseries which he had so long in deepheart sorrow groaned under and from whence sprangfort those hopefull and true refreshing beames of comfort which he had at sometimes had some feeling of and was good cause and incouragement unto him further to waite thereon as on that alone which might worke his deliverance And in the consideration of this he some time was and the Lords secret and still drawings of his minde inward often visited him to draw him to him self from whence he was departed into folly so that the man in tremblingwise or broakeness began to be before the Lord and to encline his heart to him who before now had visited him to his wounding even he who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines had smitten him that in everlasting kindness he mightly downe and sorrow be removed from him And as the compassionate one unvailed the man and understanding began to reside with him this was unto him as if life had enterd to the raising of him up above his former troubles like unto a woman for joy that a man was born into the world and remembring how he had been deceived for he could not but with greiffe of heart reflect back on that he began to have regard thereto in more bowedness of spirit least that he also should loose the fruition of so great mercie and therefore said Let me know thee O thou searcher of my heart that I may obey thee and deliver me from all my enemies and that was it which he was earnest for and had his eye at and hoped to enjoy but it was in a hasty mind out of true subjection and understanding as those of old time who said Lord wilt thou at this time restore the kingdom to Israel so apt is man to make hast and not to waite resignedly upon the Lord that his will might be don and work effected in the earth And it is to be noted for so it came to pass that as the man sunck downe or bowed before the Lord and breathed for the manifestation and teaching of his holy power and Spirit to effect and work there in his soule according to the good will of his owne tender goodness and compassion that the Lord further enlightned his understanding although contrary to his owne giveing him to see the darkness and confusion in which he was wrapped about as with a mantle and fetterd as with chaines of Iron where at fresh cause of lamentation and mourning arose in him in consideration of that enimitie disobedience and rebellion that he had lived in indayes by past against his maker for of this he was perswaded in his minde who before now thought that although he had not spent his time so citcumspectly or with such holy consideration and sobriety as he should or ought to have don yet far was it from him to think or beleeve that he had so far faln short of his dutie or so far been alienated from his Maker as now he began to be convinced that he had and was And concluded that it had been well for him to have remembred his Creator in the dayes of his youth and not to have spent soe much of his pretiouss time in such idleness vanitie according to the evill course of this world as he had don which if he had not hearkned unto nor inclined his heart to follow after but had sought after the Lord to know him according to his early visiting of him to return unto him to walk before him in his holy feare he had come to know with those which so do no great travell for it s said that wisdom preventeth those which earely seek her by first shewing her self unto them and he did really beleeve the same and hath since seen the fullfilling so it in many who hath sought after her betimes But as the Light of the Lord did arise and shine forth in him letting him to see things which differd from it this caused him to confess his guilt before the Lord he could in no wise deny or extenuate it for he read it in his owne conscience which stood as an everlasting record against him and now he thought him self in a more desperate and distressed condition then ever before for he could not speak for him self he could not call for mercie he was afraid to lift up his eyes to heaven the pressure of his owne iniquity lay so heavy upon him neither knew he how to eate or drinck possess or enjoy he was afraid and his feare increased day by day for understanding was given unto him and the revealation of his wretched and deploreable state in measure stood open and bare before him So gloriouss was the outgoings of the Lord in the removing the vayle of his heart so as if he needed not any one to accuse him or to lay things to his charge or to make him guilty in his owne eyes And as he saw him self at first deceived so now how forward he had been to yeild to the deceiver which stood as an aggravation of his former evils in which he had lived Thus saw he that he stood in covenant with hell and death and alienated from God in enmity and ungodlyness or as that of Salomon when he thus concluded I sayd in my heart concerning the estate of the
of ten troubled and in my trouble feare exceedingly and in my feare to have torment O! said his beloved neighbour for he whose voice made this inquiring in him he looked upon him as his enemy and had not a thought that he that wounded did it that he might heal Come come see thy neighbours and acquaintance they are merry men and they refresh them selves thou see and be jocund together come drinck of there cup and eate of their dish that a melancholy spirit may not come over thee and thou go drooping up downe untill thou makes thy self ridiculous unto them and rob thy self of the comfort of thy life what wouldst thou have behold thy possessions may thou not compare with them what wantest thou or what wouldest thou have The man was afraid and knew not well what was the matter with him but as it afterwards appeared the conscience of him stirred in him and there by his peace was broken which he had in the freindship of this world which is enmitie against God he could not swallow his sweet bits as formerly but was therein persued to his astonishment and his pleasures become burthensome unto him then he said he knew not how to live there and therefore would go to his neighbours habitations take of theire mirth and pleasure and refresh himself in their company and castforth thereby the trouble that was in his mind for there the mans greiffe and trouble was so he went and took of of their cup that thereby he might wash down his sorrow as he hoped and other essayes he made which are abounding in the world to divert him from his trouble and endeavourd to talk at any rate that he might be deliverd and be quiet By this time the man might have perceived that when God visit man for his iniquity he makes his beauty to consume as a moth for his face begon to gather paleness and his endeavours proved vaine for he could not get rid of this searching inquiring voice which had visited him it would be sounding in his eares and persuing him and often in the midst of his laughter sorrow would arise and fill his heart so that sometimes he was ready to throw of all his companions and to bid adieu to his idle pleasures and passtimes and then would hang down his head And heaviness of spirit like a tallent of lead ready to sinck him would come over him as if he should have ben swallowed up thereby but still he knew not the hand that persued him neither did he care for acquainting himself with it he looked upon it as his enemy he could not hope for deliverance from that which wounded him for he saw no freindlyness in it and he would have bin at ease and enjoye his frolicks as his neighbours did and not have bin so afflicted as he was but he that smot him still did smit him and his peace which was broaken seemed as if it had bin quite removed from him Now on the other hand he that had enticed him to the drawing his minde out into worldly vanities and the unprofitablenes thereof and thereby drawn him from Remembring his Creator in the dayes of his youth before the evill dayes come where in he could say he had no pleasure he I say continued his insinuations and flatteries seeking by all wayes and meanes of his owne to dawb the man up and that answerable to the desires of his owne heart for when he was wounded and afflicted so that what ever he put his hand unto visitations of sorrow and disquietnes arose in him he said unto him well if sin do ly at thydoor at whose door doth it not have not all sined and all faln short why canst thou not be content quiet thy self The Prophets they prophesied of a saviour to come and thou have read that he came beleeve thou that they are the elect that beleeve in him beleeve thy self to be one of them and apply the promises and it wil be well with thee all must carry about them so long as they are in this world a body of sin thou knows thou will be rid of that when thou comes to dy and rid of all these legall feares and frights of minde which now thou give way unto and readily receive into thy minde and from whence things proceeds and lyes in thy way for which there is no cause or reason to greive and offend thee do thou beleeve the promises they are many and large and that Christ dyed for thee then all will be well do thou see thy neighbours thy acquaintance thy freinds they do not acquaint them selves with such petyfull feares as thou entertaines nor with such needless distracting doubts and questionings and it concerns them as well as thou to see that they lay hold of their saviour and his merits although they perplex not themselves to their owne wounding and make their lives uncomfortable as thou do Thus strove the adversarie to hold the man in the deceivablenes of his owne unrighteousnes that so he might have withstood the visitations of the Lord untill there had ben noe remedy who had visited him by his gentile reproofs that his heart might bow before him and in the sence of his evill have humbled his soule before his holy throne in great contrition of Spirit but notwithstanding the favour of the Lord thus appearing for him he submitted not unto him but sought out to him self many inventions thereby to have been delivered And so the man he would go read the scriptures as he saw others did for he began to think of Religion and see to get some good promises into his minde to comfort and satisfy him felf with all and thought that if he could make out him self to be one of Gods elect one in whom his soule delighted and one whom the Lord took care of and did sustaine by watching over him and leading him by his eye in the wey of the blessing and sure mercies of the Lord that then he might sometimes enjoy him self with his freinds and neighbours after which there was a secret working in his minde which he could not then part with all not having learnd the dayly cross and might pertake of their cups and neighbourly freindships for the man did take notice that some of them would sometimes be talking of Religion of Christs ordinances and Christian duties and such good things and the other which they absented not them selves from he thought would be good fellowship good neighbourhood and the maintaining good society with them and many he saw esteemed them so to be and then he should not be judged by them as a man singuler or of a morose temper and frowardly inclined so tumbled over the scriptures forward and backward like those who searched the Scriptures as since he understood but would not come to Jesus that they might have life to see for some comfortable places to stay himself upon or thereby to releive him self upon so great an
in the Light of the Lord with his ransomed ones and be taught of his wayes and to know his secrets as those did who feard his holy Name For Job was miserable when he scraped his soares with a potsheard and the Lord restored him and David cryed long and sought the Lord and at last he sayd that the Lord had heard him and granted unto him his request so that he in trust in the Lord sayd surely mercie and goodness shall follow me all the dayes of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever so dearly did the Lord for ever so dearly did the Lord engage his heart unto him And Paul cryed out O wretched man that I am and yet afterwards he sayd that the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus had set him free from the Law of Sin and death which was the great occasion the Law of Sin and death haveing dominion over him of his wretched wofull state and many others which he had read of and sayd why not I why should not I pertake of the goodness and mercie of the Lord as well as they for he concluded that neither they nor yet any that did pertake thereof which is the benefit that comes by Jesus Christ had more need of it feelingly then he had Thus he entertaind a belief into his heart and sayd that he hoped the Lord was the same to day as yesterday even a God gratiouss and mercifull pardoning iniquity and sin for his owne name sake and that is arme was not shortned that he could not bring forth deliverance as of old time and therefore sayd that he would hope although it were but a litle least he also should be cut of through unbeleife as those who fell short thereby and though he found in him self litle or no cause for it but his necessity I 'l hope and I 'l waite sayd he although it be against hope there may be some what in it more then I know at present This was when he in the deep sence of his state stood as one broken and poured forth before the Lord in teares and sorrow days and nights and he must have it freely and of good will or not at all and in mercie and loveing kindness for he had nought but miserie and necessitie to part with being naked and bear before him for his coverings weare rent and he remained as empty and void of any thing which should have been life or refreshment unto him Now he had read thus I counsel thee to buy of me white rayment that thy nakedness may not appeare and that thy shame may be coverd and in such a state of need he was and necessity unto which that counsell was given and he had tryed many sellers and many merchants whose merchandise he found answerd not to releive him in his necessity and their garments were too short to cover his nakedness with all and haveing essayed for releife where by he might have had hopes and not walked too and fro under the subjection of disconsolation and amazement he thought at the last by the conduct of a secret still and inward vertue that he must buy enjoy and possess that covering which can hide and be sufficient thereunto from the storm in Gods sight of him which searched his heart and tryed his reines which brought to light the thingh of profane Esaw and that stretched forth the rod of Justice and Jugment upon the back of the fool which had sayd in his heart there is no God and that as it is written he stood at the door and had long there stood knocking that he might be opend unto and come in and this he could not deny but must confess although he had an eare and did often heare him knocking yet strove he against him and was loath to yeild or submit thereunto through the unbeleife and hardness of his heart begotten in him by his false and deceitfull adversarie then disguised like a freind But now his necessitous state and deplorable condition enforced him such constraint had the love of God upon his soule to receive him in that he might and his father come in also and sup with him and he with them so the man expected the supper the food the refreshment the covering and salvation and thought it no more then so so alienate and estranged was he from the right way of the Lord in darkness and ignorance but otherwise he found it to be as at a certaine time the Lord said unto him when in a sad bewilderd state he was I will lead thee by a way which thou knowest not and so it came to pass an unknowne way it was wherein he never could make a right or streight step but as his minde inwardly was directed by the guidance hand of his holy power no longer could he see his way or the path in which he was with safety to tread that so he might have hopes at last to pass through into the desire of his soule but as his heart was fixed in relyance upon the Lord out of all his owne strivings motions and contrivances And so the opening of the door was to be which his owne hardness of heart and unbeleife stood against before that he that stood at the door and knockt could get in and the crookednes and perverssnes that the way of the Lord migh be prepared and his entrance in be through faith in him and thus the voice of a burning and shining Light cryed prepare the way of the Lord make his path streight Thus the doing of all those forementioned lets and hinderances away and leagues and covenants with hell and death must be parted with broken and made void and that by him his assistance who comes with his fan in his hand thorowly to purge his floore till when no supper could be enjoyed although here a litle and there a litle of the crums thereof might fall downe unto him by way of encouragement and to teach him that worthy was the Lord to be waited upon and sought after in the way of his Judgments For so began they to be manifested with in him as a refiners fire as fullers soape the burning heat whereof and sharp pierceings made him to feare exceedingly that the wheat would have been consumed with the chaffe that his small hopes which did arise in him from the experience he had as in the twinckling of an eye beheld of the mercie of the Lord and weak resolution and himself must for ever have been consumed in its gloriouss and righteouss workings thus was he fild with dread and feare before the Lord and the ariseings of his gloriouss power And Moses saw a bush burning with fire and the bush not consumed thereby and Moses turned aside to see that great sight and the Lord spoke from out there and sayd unto him put of thy shoes from of thy feet for the ground where on thou stands is holy and Moses hid his face and was
afraid to look upon God And the man sayd that he saw that his feet was not to be shod with his owne shoeing but with the preparation of the gosple of peace or he could not make streight steps with his feet on the holy ground And hee had read of some that turned a side like a deceitfull bow and that Josephs bow a bode in his strength and he was renowned and stood in a blessed and holy record amongst the antient worthyes of the Lord who thorow faith subdued Kingdoms of weake were made strong obtaineing throw faith a good report and the man said Well if the Lord will destroy me for ever my mouth is stopt he could not raise a defence for him self he dared not to complain for he had sind aganist him and saw that he must beare his indignation whither or not that ever he knew an end or redemption out of it His distress and miserie was great which those not acquainted with the judgments of the Lord that proceeds out of his mouth as consumering fire as David sayd can not beleeve although told unto them by those who have been acquainted with them and traveld through the way thereof But at last it pleased the Father of mercies according to the counsell of the working of the Lord in his wisdom and goodness to instruct the man and wrought in his minde to cause him to lye downe in his will and submit him self to the rod of his chasticeing hand which as he yeilded him self thereunto he felt some what working and enlargeing or opening it self unto his incouragement whereby he in some hopes began to say True and righteouss are thy Judgments and that if he perished everlastingly from beholding his face with joy and his salvation yet he must and would justify him and his righteouss judgments for ever more and after this he felt a joy to spring in him and to feel some Spirit to revive and did at some times seem as if he saw some glimpses of a great glory as a farr off and of a heavenly Arm and that there was salvation in it but could not get to it he thought if he could and therein continue that the winter would be past and the time of refreshing from the Lords presence would be come and the hearing of the voice of the turtle where in his teares would be wiped away according to the Prophet and that the sorrowing and sithing would flee away and instead thereof joy and rejoiceing would be which he longed for haveing some expectation or beleife in him that the antient Prophecies were many of them as really to be fullfilled in these latter dayes as ever they were at first spoken forth and that because of the unchangeable faithfullnes and goodness of the Lord. But now he rather ran into hast then to run the race which he saw in measure set before him and that was to waite for Gods salvation for without that manifestly he saw salvation he could never attain to seeing all his former wayes and courses proved ineffectuall to him and no wayes advantagious and he rejoyced in some measure and was glad in the beholding of it although it seemed to be and was a far of and not brought neere unto him and earnest he was to inherit it and not to ly in the fire for the utter consummation of the dross and thorow purgeing of the floor and so earnest indeed the man was and in hastines of Spirit that he had all most lost his submission to the will of the refiner and instead of wayting patiently upon him to hear what he would speak to him and to see what he would do for him who is the mighty Counseller and of whom he had read that he would speak comfortably to Jerusalem and peace to his people who feared his Name notwithstanding he was for takeing the Kingdom some thing of his old practise and endeavours not considering that he ought not to make hast nor to fly with the swift and cry as some did Nay wee will flee upon horses such whirling Notions men chose rather then to bow before the Lord that he might be exalted Lord and King over all his ever Now the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong thus the man had read and so there was another lesson that he was to learn and that was as an honest Prophet of the Lord once sayd In returning and in rest you shall be saved in quietness and confidence is your strength which the Apostle answerd unto when he sayd The Lord direct your hearts into the Love of God and into the patient waiting for Jesus Christ That he might know feel therein that the Lords Arm alone brought salvation and that he might have nought nor none to glory in but the Lord who for his owne mercie sake dothsave deliver Thus he was to turn off his hast and not to take the Kingdom by force but to feel the meek peacable Prince thereof to lead him into it and to give him therein a portion and priviledge amongst the Princes upon the Throne of judgment and mercie for ever And thus learned the man again to return in his minde into the enlightning opening light of the Lord which in his heart was as a fire and a flame and to resign up unto it to feel the effect thereof which he hoped might be at the last blessed and greatly advantagiouss to the stay and comfort of his then greived minde as others had enjoyed before him whom the Lord had lead by his owne right arm into a habitation of joy and salvation But nothwithstanding all this he againe fell to contriving of a speedy way and to wish for the enjoyment of that which before this time by way of incouragement had visited him to teach him that not by might nor strength but by the Spirit of the Lord and its holy leading and teaching he was to hope for and enjoy his deliverance And the voice sounded in his eares be still according to what he had read in Habbakuk Let all the earth keep silence before him Here upon he againe enclined to sinck downe in his Spirit unto the messenger of the Lords glorious holy power revealed with in him and there to abide and endure in patience of minde and Spirit for its holy purpose and work to be wrought in the earth that it also might be replenished and bring forth its encrease to the Lord. Whereupon he sayd O Lord lead me on in the way which is clearing for to the day of claering thou knowest that I have earnestly desired with desire of spirit to come and now I am in some measure come throw thy draweing by thy blessed hand held forth unto me O Lord God of mercie and compassion guide thou my feet and uphold me by thy free Spirit that in that thy holy way which is the way of the blessed and of the ransomed ones I may be kept and perserved Yet still againe and
life madnes and that his end would be with out honour Well the mans greiffe remained and his sorrowes did not abate hestill as one overwhellming in them would try and prove if at last he might arrive at a place of content therefore sought he after meanes which might be effectuall to him and that of the best that was to be had at least wise according to his owne Judgment for he desired Judgment and understanding that they might be as the guirdle of his loynes and that he might not go on with fooles for then he thought he might miss of a cure and not be better by all his travels and paines for fooles perished for want of knowledg and the heart with out it could not be good Now there was some what held forth in those dayes as a comfortable way of releife for some that had been wounded or afflicted and a phisitian of good experience reported of which had choice medicines of rare vertues and operations for such distempers as his was as some sayd who had like occasion and made use thereof whereupon the Man as glad to heare thereof applies him self upon theire report and makes his essay and enters upon the applycation and at first tryall there seemed a hope and from thence a joy as if some good effect would have succeeded but continuing his applycations his hope and with it his joy they abated so that the Man grew as heartless as comfortless almost dispayreing of releife and sitting downe in his sorrow and in his greife as one at his witts end alone by him self it enterd into his minde to visit a people neere adjoyning and hoped that thereby might be administred satisfaction and such releife as his soule stood in so great want off and the man was so well pleased with the motion which inclined him there unto that he was ready to resolve with himself that he should go amongst Angels such was the persent affection of his minde unto them and therefore endeavourd to qualifie himself accordingly and to fashion himself what he could with gravity sobriety and seriousnes which he inclined after and sought to be such a one indeed that hipocrisie might not have place in him as a thing which he allwayes desired he might not be defiled with Judging that it must like wise be so or their society would not admit of him to pertake with them in theire holy felowship and that good order which he thought yea and concluded was amongst them but so it happened unto him that in a short space of time after his frendly visiting of them their Nakedness and his owne disapointment appeared and he saw them to be with out eyesalve and as men groaping in the dark and night of ignorance where the occasion of stumbling and falling is And thus still was the Man left with his wound and the greiffe of it with out releife and Just was it with the Lord and his great mercie unto him that it should be so and he left with out redress seenig he sought in the wrong place and endeavourd to enter into the holy rest of the Lord at the door which he had not set open to him and left him disapointed because his eye was a broad at man for help which ought to have bin turned inward that the Lord might have brought nere his owne salvation by his owne right arm and have given him an inheritance therein which alone could answer unto the necessity of his soule and the great want that he was in So that being well sencible of his not attaining unto the salvation of his soule there upon he retireing to sit downe as forsaken and comfortless his deceiving enemy pretending freindship and good will sayd retire thy self from their feliowships and societies and take thee to thy secret closet it s a more probable way for thy releife read the Scriptures apply what thou readest with diligence pray earnestly refresh thy self somtimes amongst those that can discourse and reason about religion and pine not away in solitariness through vexatious sorrow For by this time the man could have been glad of any hole or by corner of the earth to have bewayled himself although he concealed his greife what he could and there was a harkning to the advice and frequenting reading and meditation applying promises and praying morning and evening and could not well let that pass at any time least there should have been neglect of dutie growing into remissnes and a waxing worse and worse untill hardness of heart should have entered and all Religion ben shut up thereby and extinguished And here the man leaned a while being in some hopes of releife he was ready upon all his essayes to promise that to him self as well as to propound it upon his undertakings and now he was ready although it proved but as a reed of Egipt to hope he was not so bad or in such a desperate state as he before was in but that his greiffe and sorrow was abated and that he enjoyed some satisfaction in his minde which before now he was in so great distress for want of thus he was willing to hope for him self for he was got under some good duties and godly practises and so hoped that the Lord would look mercifully upon him for Christ Jesus sake and give him some of the necessarie releife which he had read some had received at the Lords hands in the time of there need and distress And thus for some litle season of time proceeded the man thinking him self some body the thought him self now not as this man and that man was and that he had escaped that bondage and servility of hanging upon other men as many did or as pinning his faith upon others sleeves as men was usd to say and would compare him self for information sake with others and say surely it is better with me now then they for he accounted that he had some what of his owne to rely upon and rest him self with all but as he was thus resolving he began a gaine to remember his former visitation and the sorrow and greife it brought with it and did occasion so that he said is this my hope also cut of and doth my joy abate againe and am I still short of such an effect as I have sought after for to enjoy For he had labourd to enjoy acure to be made inwardly of a secret wound in his heart and had sought after meanes to effect it even by all wayes and meanes that he could be acquainted with or seek out him self both rising up and lying downe and hath not been wanting of carefull thoughts and all endeavours imaginable that so he might attaine unto deliverance which he had been and still was in so great need of but all availed nothing nor nought that he was seeking by could reach the wound and make releife then said he in groaning wise O! that he knew of a phisition that were able to give remedy unto him and that
he could gladly endure a corrosive that so he might be healed Now he was thus groaning and sithing forth himself in his sorrowfull state being alone and haveing no eye minde or desire after any outward help or deliverance haveing tryed all wayes and meanes as a foresaid that he could think of or imagine and being at times affected with this kinde of way as feeling then some thing of satisfaction and rest of minde to flie or glaunce through him he at this time was againe visited in the opening word of the Lord by his tender and composionate freind although he had not an eye as yet to look upon him so to be nor a heart so to esteem of him it being strange or not at all to be considered off by him that he that did wound and kill should do it thereby to heale and make a live yet he in the movings of his deare tender and everlasting loveing kindness said thy destruction is of thy self thy help is in me then the man thought there might be help still but the deceiver he secretly wrought thus whence come this knowes thou whence it comes or whither it will give not way to a fancie a dream slying through thine imagination thou knowest not whither least thou build castles in the ayre as men use to speake and thou be left at last to fall not haveing a foundation Thus the man hurried to and again knew not what to do willing he was to have releife glad he should be to receive comfort a saviour cryed he for and desireous was to have but knew not where to finde him in want and destress anguish and perplexity he was these things abounded in him what should he do to whom should he speak or call to or cry unto or by what have might he have hopes and finde releife he found all as miserable comforters and none that could tell him where his beloved was or whilst he said tell me could answere if thou knowest not get the forth by the steps of the flock and feed thy kids by the tents of the shepheards He had read much talked sometimes of a feast of fatt things which the Lord would make he wished and desired such hunger was in his soule with desire of spirit that he knew where it was and might at last come to eate thereof or at least wise get some crums of it that would be better to him then that pineing woefull state that he was in and be more hopefull of affording some redress in his necessity What help had not he tryed and sought after to enjoy that so he might know a release from his perplexities Men he had tryed and their writings many read had made diligent search and inquiry into their lives their deeds and conversations wherein their face was religiouss and he found not thereby him whom he desired and marvelling at the sight of some whom he cast upon an eye of observation they seemed to be heart whole and merry without such heart smart as he felt untill he was ready to murmer in him self for and because of their prosperity and he hoped at some times that they might have been phisitians of worth to him by the long profession that they would beseemed or thought to have made in Zyons wayes which not withstanding were ready to over look him in his adversities as one whom they had no bowels of compassion for and passed by as one whose miseries they had no fellow feeling of so could not see them skilfull enough nor of that profissiencie after all their noise and great stir in the profession of Religion as to speak a word in due season to a man afflicted as he was And upon this he was confirmed in his former resolve concerning them that he saw noe reason why he should lean upon them for help for he found no stabilities in their goings or found judgment whence counsell and advice should proceed or that they were established on a rock or come to the munition of rocks the center of the righteouss in all ages and generations but were as men treading in slipperie places and seemed to be tottering and as ready to fall although not in their owne eyes Then he desired to retire againe and thought in him self so to do from any hope or expectation of succour from them and chouse rather a solitary place to mourn in esteeming him self increasing in his perplexities rather then the enjoying or haveing reason to hope for an abatement of them concluded that vaine was the help of man why should he desire it for he met with nought but disapointments and vexation whilst he sought after them and said O that the time were come spoken of and borne witness unto by the Prophets that the Lord would be teacher him self and write his Law in the heart that man might cease from man for where in was he to be esteemed the more solicitouss was he in these his desires because so often had he been perplexed whilst his eare was open or heart seeking after them for help and because he had read concerning the Lord and his teaching by those who had attained formerly unto it thus What teacher is like unto him by which it seemed unto him as if there was none like unto him and therefore none to be desired but him alone and he thought and did beleeve that such a state would be blessed for then he should sit under his owne vine and no man should make him affraid which he longed for to enjoy But againe he was ready to feare and not to beleeve that that should be in his day or whilst he lived for he did see little or none appearance for hope of it although some beleeved that such a time should be because they beleeved that those Prophets which wrot of such a thing were true Prophets but not yet said some afterwards it wil be but not at present but this could not answere the man neither he wanted at present being in present want through his present greife and afterward was too tediouss like unto a man that must perish through hunger if he did not attaine unto releife by getting bread and it would be a vaine thing to say unto such a one next yeare or afterwards there wil be bread enough although now none whilst he was ready to starve famish for want of it And those who puts the day of the Lord a far of and that saith he defers his comeing wo is unto such as saith the Scripture and they are of those who so beleeve who was rather for a little more ease to the flesh and a little more of the sleep of the night and of the darkness thereof wherein the fashions of this world and the diverse lusts and vanities thereof are rather then to be such as breaths for the glory of the knowledg of the glory of the Lord to cover the earth as the waters doth the sea So that the man said O! that he knew the Lord and
his way and his will he would then obey him and walk therein and said Lead me o Lord in the way everlasting which is righteouss in thy sight that I may feel of the joy of thy salvation For the way in which he was was croocked and perverse and he in it fild with lamentation and mourning and woe and would therein end he feared if he helped not and he had heard that there was a way which was right in the eyes of the Lord and that the Lord could bring alone to the knowledg of it and lead there in Thus breathed the man before the Lord and unto him and frequented solitariness and lonelynes and loved consideration and hoped for Judgment and understanding that he might know and do aright and serve the Lord with an upright heart continuing in his addresses before him Oh that he knew the Lord and his way and his will that he might order his conversation a right before him and enjoy the light of his countenance lifted up upon him For by this time he had got a notion of a light or that there was such a thing given of God to man kinde but had not an understanding of it or where it was or the way of it or its work and operation in mans heart but thought them happy that did walk in the light of the Lord and he would at times talk of such a thing and of great matters which in the Light of the Lord he beheld farr above his then state and condition and please him self therewith for a while but there being no roote of life in them nor proceeding from the effectuall working of the light in him but at most from a flash or glaunce thereof which might appeare unto him at some times to let him see but did not possess they vanished away and every pleasant picture of his by little and little was defaced and his images struck at were shattered and tumbled downe which he had had at some times some hopes in and comforted him self by reason of their pleasantness which to him seemed in them He had many inventions desires and imaginations suggested into his mind by the old flattering deceiver who had before this got a seat in his heart but notwithstanding all his insinuations and false promises thereby to hold the man in the snares and darkness of his owne kingdom he the compassionate one visit him in his tender love and would not suffer his wound to be falsly healed or dawbed over deceitfully so as he could not get rid of the smart and the wounding which made him oft times to cry out of the emptiness and unprofitablenes of all his former wayes and courses as being weary of them to this compassionate one yet not knowing him or that he was so neere unto him or ready to help him as afterwards when understanding had opened his heart and the eye of his minde he saw him to be but contrary wise loked upon him to be far off removed in the heavens he knew not where but as men said above the skies at a distance and far remote well he thought that at the last salvation must come to his house from or by him or elce he must never be saved and how to tarry for it for he was in present necessitouss want he knew not and that occasioned the earnestnes of his labour after it being in a hunger which could not be sustaind with out it So continued he in the persuit thereof by reading by meditation and loved to heare the conference thereof and satisfyed himself to be silent at such times hat he might prove and try thereby but was not yet submitted in his heart to waite upon the Lord that his arm alone might be salvation to him therefore to his old waies and courses and then thought him felf againe in a prety good way allwayes propounding to him self the knowledge of the Lord and his way which if he could attaine thereunto and finde out of by his search and inquiry that then he would obey him by walkeing according thereunto Now on a certaine day in a retirement by him self he takes a bible into his hands and it was done in a kinde of wearyness of all his former labours and persuits after the knowledge of the Lord and at his opening of it his eye fell upon a place without seeking for it which he had not acquainted him self with that he remembred before and it was this the Lord is in his holy Temple let all the earth keepe silence before him he fixed his eye upon the words as fast as he could even with great earnestness as accounting it pertinent to his purpose and that thereby there might be a door opened of hope or direction for understanding which he had sought for for ought that he then knew and seemed to be as answering to his present state and condition whereupon he entered into the consultation concerning it and that according to the best of his skill or judgment that there by he might finde out the matter and arrive at such an effect namely a resting place for his weary soule as he had long been searching after but ahlas it shortly proved to be a leaning to his owne and not to the Lords help and assistance for he tooke the way of the many foolish builders and unprofitable talkers for he would be at worke still a busie part acting in his minde as Nimrod the mightie Hunter before te Lord not comeing back to the voice behinde him or to learn be still and know that I am God But this was the way he went in to consider the text and the chapter and whole Prophesy and to open the word and fetch forth the meaning and the interpretation thereof not contenting him self to be still to waite to feel the Lords counsell and direction and his presence and teaching and the silenceing of the earth before him And indeed the man as yet although he delighted at some times to be talking thereof had learnd little if ought of that so as to abide there yet he thought with him self that there were many offering to their own nett and burning insence to their owne yarn but few that leaned upon the Lord or that looked at him alone as he began now to thinck that he did Thus haveing for some time exercised his witts about the words and marvelling at the providence that had cast them before his eyes he thought with him self now to be some body indeed for that he did not cumber him self with wearysome and teadiouss labours as formerly he had don whilst he was runnig a broad after men their notions and conceptions and with which he saw many inwrapped and lamentably in bondage But whilst he thus concluded concerning himself he was like one in a dream of eateing and drincking and of haveing good and needfull refreshment thereby but soon he awakes and instead of being fed and nourished hee feeles pinching want and wasting hunger to consume him
as if thereby he should be destroyed Such was his case for pawseing a litle and acquainting him self with consideration in a kinde of repose or silence which he had got the notion of and did at some times feel some reall motion and inclination thereunto the compassionate one which waited to doe him good brought him back againe by his inquiring word which remained within him to his state and condition and to the shewing of him that and to the feeling the wound and the smart thereof which formerly was made when it was said unto him Where art thou and he began to sith and lament and to wish for a hand or that hand which could releive him marvelling with in him self that so great and continued a greiff and trouble should seise upon him upon the occasion of them or that thereby should be occasioned so incureable a greiffe as was in him and under which he had so many yeares groaned Thus as yet he kist not the rod with the which he was smitten nor yet did heare it and him who appointed it nor submitted to the hand of him that afflicted him he thought still that his enemy which broke his peace and in the midst of his mirth and jollity ministred sorrow and disconsolation to him He had heard of the pleasant name of a Saviour who had given his life a ransome for all men and was willing to be ransomed and saved by him according to the conceptions or beleife which men had of the way thereof in the world but to be made like unto him whom men gave vineger and gall to drinck as those were who sayd as he is even so are wee in this world this no not to toutch witch him in his sufferings he had read of his resurrection and of his crowne of glory he liked well that to enjoy he being arisen out of his suffering state into his fathers glory but the learn of him to the takeing up the dayly cross the crucifying to the world and the affections and lusts of it the being made conformable unto the death and the bearing about in the body the dyings of the Lord Jesus this was not in his thoughts the other the other the right hand of God where are pleasures for ever more that he looked for and a river the streames where of makes glad the Citie of God and had not a thought or expectation to the contrary although it be said that I come not to send peace on the earth but a sword and if you be without correction whereof all are partakers then are you bastards and not sons that that and such things should be his from the Lord and yet the dawning or breaking forth of the Light of the glorious day of Christs comeing was upon him in which he could say he had no pleasure For his vaine expectations failed and his peace fled far from him the more he sought or desired after it and his state the more miserable no releife no comfort no help nor none nor nothing to rely upon but on the contrary dayly woundings and astonishments so that he was ready to despayre of being releived and to be an astonishment unto him self succour there was none nor help every thing which might have efforded him of that kind was fled from him or so imbitterd that nothing availed they to his refreshment so that ha was more ready to hide him self from the eyes of all men in a secret cave or rock in the earth thath there he might have ended his dayes in mourning and weepeing then to have remained in the glory greatness and wisdom of this world without the inheritance of him whom his soule had so long searched after But this could not do neither nor none to him nor nought remained wherein he had hopes to obtaine releife by his hope as to that was gon and his former lovers remained as gall and bitterness unto him knowledg that vanished away and experiences which he formerly at times thought had been good and beneficiall unto him proved voyd and empty and him self left in his wound more then ever in his smart in his blood and none to pitie him or to shew redress unto him then said he I will lift up mine eyes unto thee o thou that dwellest in the heavens O that thou wouldest lead me in the way which is everlasting that my poor afflicted and destressed soule may have a hideing place a place of rest to ly downe in with the flocks of thy companions But loath he was to turn to him that smot him as yet he had not learnd that Neither did he thinck that that was don by him who would at last be salvation to him So estranged is mans heart natuarly from the Lord and to have faith and beleif in him his eye was a broad like the fooles in the corners of the earth and in the dark places thereof he sought for a habitation of quietness but the Lord frustrated all those devices of his that he might shew unto him the vanity of his way and the vexation by it and bring him at last to waite upon him for his salvation who hath sayd looke unto me all yee ends of the earth and be saved Thus strove the old deceiver thereby to keep the man from bowing unto the Lord and to stand at a distance feed on beleeve in or give way to any thing rather then to him that afflicted him and whose hand was come neere unto him to chastice him for his iniquity and to deliver him through obedience and submission to his will from the evill of his owne heart and thus wrought the compassionate one whose compassions failed not and waited to be graciouss unto the Man that his minde might be turned inward and home againe to the Fathers house and the mantions of it to know the holy Temple and the Lord in it and the earth to keep silence before him and the City of the King and the King in his Throne and the Tower of David and their glory strength and protection which now he stood in alienation to and astranger in a desolate place of Dragons with out a wall in the open feilds and in this perplexed desolation lyable and in danger to be preyed upon by the beasts thereof who sayd unto him return unto me the Man ready to answer who art thou but the subtile one whose Depths of Sathan he had not knowne by his easy access as aforesaid hastily steps in to save his kingdom and strong-hold in the mans heart said unto him to whom return unto me to what dost thou know thereby to divert the mans mind from a farther search and inquiry into the matter or of acquainting him self with him whose voice utterd it self in the earth and said what wouldst thou be better then every one or one of those that say to his neighbour stand off I am more holy then thou .... Thus industriouss this deceiver was to hold his kingdom standing armed to defend his house
and keep his goods in peace as afterwards the man understood when he was thereunto in lightned by the light shineing out of darkness which before he was with out knodlege of Now the compassionate one ceased not to shew him self and great kindnes unto the man who had harkned to the counsell and direction of a deceiver an enemy but masked and pretending freindship and met with disapointments and frustrations in what ever he put forth his hand unto in answer unto the motions of the deceiver for releife and that which the man seemed to have of wisdom knowledg and understanding of faith hope and experience and of such good things waxed old vanished away and were come to an end as hath been said so that he thought him self as comfortless and as poor as Job was for by the light of him that searched his heart he saw he was empty and voyed but of a nature and spirit froward and perverse rather to tempt him as Jobs wife to curse God then to live as he did that was the truth of his then state and condition as for dying he would have been glad of that and did rather seek it then otherwise and thought that thereby he should be at quiet and at rest and that then an end would have been of all his woefull afflictions but as for cursing of God he was afraid of that of the thing which would be very wicked and provocking and he knew him self to be wretched and miserable and it was Gods goodnes and mercie which perserved him from it But through all and much more then hath been said he could not flee or make escape from the hand of him that smott him no citie of refuge although he sought for such a one could he finde but smitings still came upon him and afflicted and tossed he was not comforted rather to dispayre of releife then knowing where to address him self for it for all wayes and meanes men and Judgments that his wit could thinck of or any wayes conceive might prove advantagiouss to him had he been inquisitive into and proving if at last he might attaine unto the beloved of his soule but men failed men of note and learning failed men of account and esteem for experience for sanctity for great abilities and endowments failed Ordinances which men cryed up and made so much a doe about crying downe one another and wearying them selves in a labyrinth of perplexities thereby failed self righteousnes failed disapointments came over all expectations faith vanished away hope-failed and that which remained to the Man more then ever was his infirmity his wound his burthen so that he renewed his murning his Lamentation and sayd Is there any sorrow like unto my sorrow and wished that he knew a phisition a phisition indeed which could releive him and unburthen his soule and give him an inheritance with the sanctifyed ones with the called and faithfull and chosen in Jesus Christ For so he had read that there had been such and that they inherited substance walking in the Light as he is in the Light but that which he inherited was sorrow was mourning was lamentation and knew not a place where on to lay his head in peace being in darkness a place of desolation Thus he as one over whellmed in sorrow and one whom the Lord had hedged up his way with thornes in his deep mourning groaned forth his great miserie which the compassionate one made a time of love and seeing every releife succour hope and help of his owne failed extended of his owne deare succour and releife even he who kils and makes alive I have wounded thee that I may heale thee and there is none other God and Saviour which can do this which broke the man and in which breaking still knew not what to do being ready to say in the sight of his owne wofull state how can I escape destruction And here may be remembred the case once of a people of old time called my people who being in Egypt and greatly oppressed by the taskmasters who were set over them to afflict them there God moved with compassion to releife them sent his servant Moses to Pharaoh King of their great oppressions saying Let my people goe who got passage through great Judgments wrought by a mighty hand and an out-stretched arme but their enemies soon persued after them so that great destress and fear came upon them because of the persuings of their enemies behinde and because of the sea which was before and unpassable hils on either side and in this their Jeopardy of destruction the servant of the Lord said unto them Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Which passages let all consider who breaths after the salvation of the Lord without which nothing can prosper their soules or give unto them satisfaction unto life and that with seriousnes humillitie and due regard as unto that which affore time hath been written for the sake of those who afterwards should come to beleve in him whom God hath sent a light into the world to be fullfilled in the fullfilling of which as they shall stand still in Gods due time and way his salvation shall be knowne and that beyond what formerly they could have beleeved or hoped for And the man giveing him self up to be a little quiet from all his former attempts and strivings after his owne deliverance by which none hath ever come to know Gods salvation here in he seemed as if he would have throwen him self upon the goodness and mercie of the Lord and fee lt him self in a little inward satisfaction and tranquilitie of minde beyond what before he had enjoyed whilst in those teadiouss-wearisom labours and travells he had been seeking by to have come to a resting place for his soule And so somewhat enterd him concerning a still voice which utterd it self ofttimes in his hearing in the earth which the world was ignorant of and which the wisdom of this world stood allwayes in contradiction unto and was alienated from in which was more as to those that obeyed or dilligently hearkned thereunto as to inward tranquillitie and peace of mind then was in all the strength knowledge and understanding that was enjoyed or could so be in the world by the men thereof in all there acquirings or industriouss labours therein and there by all men were filled with vanity and vexation of spirit in due time to be revealed in them who cumbred them selves there with or there in were persuing after the knowledg of the Lord for the mean time they as well as him self had don forsook the phisitian of true vallue and forsook their owne mercies which he sayd he hoped now to a bide and continue with for ever But nevertheless so it came to pass that in a short time and suddainly the old subtile adversarie for by this time the man had cause enough so to look upon him to be he with his cunning craftines as of old drawes his minde
sones of men that God might manifest them that they might see that they them selves are beasts Whilst thus he stood what to do he knew not was ready to loath and abhor him self and to wish that he had never been born for the booke which was opened was as a thousand witnesses he saw he could no wayes evade its record and testimony no escaping no fleeing from it and what he read therein he read it all to be against and not for him nor no wayes tending to his releife that he could see but the contrary For as for those things whereby he might have had hope as the receiveing of him whom God had sent in the ministration of a wakening conviction and drawing neere in true holy subjection thereunto and those good things of his before spoken of which could not stand or remaine with him to his support in this the day of the appearance of the son of God in clouds because his worke was and for ever is to make a decision for the Lord in the righteouss judgeing and scattering of these things which had not been effected or wrought by his holy Spirit who hath sayd without me you can do nothing but were produced and taken up as before hath been sayd to seek and obtaine life by and not acting or working from it so was climbing up a wrong way and not striveing to enter into the true sheepfold at the right door so that when he came to have need indeed his Lamp proved without oyle for so he saw himself to be as the heart searcher found him out to lay wast the inheritance of the wicked for ever So that an anchor to have held his soule by in this the day of his sore troubles and afflictions he had not nor nought to defend himself withall therein but was founde out to be by him who is the Amen the faithfull and true witness whose eyes are as a flame of fire naked and blinde and miserable darkness and ignorance filling his heart and the wofull effects thereof and what to do more he knew not for the revelation of this his destitute and forsaken state and the opening his heart in the manifestation thereof and bringing things forth into his remembrance and setting them before his face all this and what ever might besayd of that kinde was not deliverance it was but manifestation not a setting him at liberty from the night and the chain of it neither a setting him at the table of the Lord to eate of the flesh of Christ and to drink of the consolateing wine of the Kingdom but the ripping open of his corrupted heart that he might learn to know him self and what it was to go from the Fathers house to feed him self with husks amongst swine And herein in measure was the great love of God manifested unto him in not suffering him to go on in his former wayes and courses untill those things which belonged to his peace had been hid from his eyes Thus the Lord proceeded with him and then the vialls of wrath was not poured forth nor the recompence and reward in flames of fire from heaven to execute vengance on that ungodly nature and Spirit which he had cleaved to and lived in and thereby had been adulterated from his maker Of these things he knew not as yet as afterwards when the day burned as an Oven to consume the stuble and the dross in which day he might have sayd who shall abide or who shall dwell with devoureing fire The man dyed in greiff unutterable and such sorrow as never was before nor can demonstration and greatest utterance tell of as he shall know who thereunto shal be brought by the righteouss correcting hand of the Lord when he wil be eased of his adadversaries and avenged of his enemies in which day the Lord will judge with fire Some times whilst sorrow hath fild his heart and perplexity his Spirit by reason of the disquietnes and trouble which was there he hath walked into the feilds and seen allthings in a sweet serene calm scarsly a leafe of a tree to stir he hath been affected therewith and sayd with in him self the creation is more happy then I which is at rest in its place from such storms and tempests as he was fild with and wished and desired that he might know so great a calm inwardly as those creatures outwardly did enjoy for he concluded surely a blessed state it would be unto him who now was fild with restless thoughts and greiffs as the sea is troubled when the mighty winds rowleth the waters thereof on heapes for then he should know tranquilitie of minde and rest in the holy one which nothing but his power could say be still and effectually worke it for him for all his attempts had proved short and whilst he was striveing was disapointed and so in sorrow lay Thus was it with the poor and comfortless man who in misery was and distress good things was removed away from him and his pretented freind manifested to be his enemy a bad one indeed for so he thought him now to be who through all his pretences deceivings and flatteries sought his ruin and destruction but how to get rid of him out of his heart for there he had seated himself and to redemption and salvation the thing which all along was in his eye he knew not And thus lay the man in his greife and the terrors of the Lord revealing in him because of his transgressions And so gloriouss and dreadfull was the Majesty thereof that he exceedingly feard and trembled and how help should come unto him or when or never he knew not he was a fraid to look to the Lord as hath been sayd or to hope for his help for with what thought he shall I look I who am in a state rather to greive and vex the Lord rather then to hope or trust in him and to rebell against him and transgress rather to curss then to bless his holy Name well if it be thus with me said he as it is and surely so it was with him as the Prophet sayd that as every battle of the warrior is with confused noyse and garments rowld in blood so this is with burning and devoureing fire then in a bed of sorrow I am out of which I can not arise but oh that I might be helped and releived I even I who am without comfort or releife like unto the poor destitute people of old time who for many dayes were with out a King and without a Prince and without an offering and without an image and without an Ephod and without Jerraphim but afterwards it s sayd of them that they should seek the Lord and David there King Now although it was a lamentable state and condition yet it might be it was possible with the Lord that at the last he might know the repayrer of breaches and the restorer of pathes to dwell in and that at last he might come to walk
againe the old deceiver and adversary of the soules blessednes at diverse times and on diverse occations threw some thing or other into his way that thereby he might stumble and fall or be discouraged and offended so that he might grow weary and not hold out but faint and go backward and not forward and to seeke for releife amongst his old lovers and acquaintance or might dig to himself a cistern for water which could hold none or take some other way or meanes for his deliverance and here with the man was so besett by the adversarie to divert his course and to draw him back againe to perdition and from following on to the salvation of his soule as is beyond utterance And can not be declared or beleeved as experience and the same state condition worketh the understanding of it And in that day when man if so surrounded by the devoureing enemy as it is said of him he goes about like a roaring Lyon compassing the earth to and fro seeking whom he may devoure he must make God alone his trust and hope and deliverer eying him in stedfastnes of heart and minde and not the adversary whose labour it is to draw the minde away after him and his feare or elce out there he can never come to know the deliverance and salvation which Jesus Christ is to all those that abides with him in the faith and hope of Gods elect but must be preyed upon and led into destruction for ever Now as this deceiver thus lay in waite and wrought to ensnare and beguile the man so all so the compassionate one ceased not to visit and secretly convey his help unto him and often it would be in his remembrance that he that putteth his hand to the plow and then loock back is not meet for the kingdom of heaven which he had so earnestly desired to enjoy neither was he that sowed sparingly to expect plentifully to reap but if he did so hope to do he would deceive him self and be as those that feed on ashes for in stead of haveing a harvest of well fild sheaves with hanging eares of corn he would at last reape the wind and be disapointed as those who began in the spirit and would be made perfect by the flesh or sought so to be So that now he began to learn to give up to the fire which burned and to the hammer which brake him downe in as much as might be quieting him self and submitting as that which was most proper for him in this his great suffering state and entertaind a feare in his heart least that he should offend the Lord againe by turning from his Judgments which were executing in him and from the terror and righteousnes thereof and therefore againe cryed out unto the Lord and sayd O Lord I praye thee since I have prayed to see thy day and its glory and that thou hast in thy great loveing kindnes brought me into the glorious dawnings and breakings forth thereof let not thy way be too narrow or streight for me let me not turn a side to the flocks of thy companions but as they went downe by the steps of the flock to the washing and returned by the tents of the sheepheards upon the bancks of salvation so I also into the holy habitation of thy heavenly rest may be brought by thine owne right arme in the way through it of condemnation at last to sit downe in the ministration of life to behold thy face in thy exceeding glory in joy and peace and teach me to apply my heart to wisdom which is hid from all the wise of this world for thou knowest that it is wisdom alone of thee which I crave to direct my feet a right in thy sight And that was the thing which he wanted alone desired of the Lord and thought with him self that he matterd not what he parted with or how or what he was in the account or eyes of the world so that he might finde rest And thus haveing made some progres in the blessed race of eternall life haveing in him a Judgment and understanding according to that experience of the effectuall working of the grace of God in him he adviseth all who is in any measure awakened into the sence of their want of the knowledge of God and of his great love in Jesus Christ and of their owne wofull and miserable estate thereby that they abide in submission unto the Lord therin and not seek to them selves wayes and meanes thereby to work their owne deliverance but in longings and groanings in their Spirits travell after the desire of their soules that so the Lord in his owne blessed way and time may open a door of understanding in their hearts for their acces unto him and strive not by unlawfull wayes and courses after redemption or an admission into the holy Kingdome whereinto nothing that defiles or is managed by mans skill or hand may come for many have striven and not enterd and asked and have not received because they have asked amiss and not striven lawfully Therefore feel the Lords heavenly arm and power to arise and worke deliverance and propound not to thy self an easy way of accessing to the flesh into the holy habitation of his eternall life for it must be by the sword the Judgment determined must be fullfilled and the fullfilling must be according to the counsel and righteouss will of the Lord to whom who may say what doest thou And abide his pleasure and let his Kingdom come into thy heart as he pleaseth if it be by a thundering power from heaven to cleave the rocks assunder and rending the vayle thereby of from thy hard heart with astonishments amazements and confoundings to thy vaine confidence and expectation Be still be still before the Lord and before the glorious ariseings of his holy power that he may work his work in the earth that will praise him and deliver thy soule hereby alone shalt thou know and come to witnes the Lords ransome for it is his and not thine and inherit that which thy soule languish in want off And those who are come to the redeeming power of the Lord and to the knowing of redemption in any measure and the feeling the judgment thereof for so it must be Zion is redeemed by judgment lye downe lye downe and flee not for thy life for if thou dost thou wilt loose it and in that day seek not to escape but let this be the travell of thy soule in bowednes of Spirit to submit unto him that thou mayst feel that mind and to be of it which can say true and righteous are thy judgments o Lord for thou judgest for the poor and needy of the earth Thus shalt thou know the effect of righteousnes peace and assurance for ever and the oyle of gladnes making thy face to shine with the innocent life and spirit of the Lamb and by no other meanes no other way These things are
veryfyed by a cloude of witnesses who stands in an everlasting record of blessednes and life eternall which the holy Scriptures testifyed gained a good report for they enterd into that their Masters joy through beleeving in him whom God had promised to raise up who saw his day and rejoyced and it was reckoned unto them for righteousnes who dyed in the faith and although dead yet speake And unto us hath God fullfilled his promise and in due time sent forth his son in the word of eternall life unto all those who beleeve in his name and that follow him in the regeneration and renewing Spirit of life and righteousnes not in the talk thereof a cheat which too to much abounds in the world but to know him and the fellowship of his suffrings and the being made conformable unto his will who come not to do his owne will but the will of him that sent him untill that thou be translated from death to life which will is the sanctification of all those which are obedyent in their hearts unto him So if thou say that thou love him keep his comandements let them not be greivious unto thee run the way thereof with delight as David how do I love thy comandements Men make void thy Law but I will keep thy Law hide not thy comandements from me This is the raee thou art to run these are the marks of the true runners therefore so run as that thou mayest obtaine to inherit life and beare about in thy body the marks of the Lord Jesus and his faithfull followers who followes him whither so ever he goes as beleeving that it is enough for them to be as their Lord who loved them and gave him self a ransome for them and all men to be testifyed of in due time and this is the consolation and the great rejoyceing that the testifycation thereof many are made witnesses and the ransome is knowne and the deliverance is come and many have and many shall sit downe in the blessed inheritance of it in the heavenly Mantions in Christ Jesus with Abraham with Isack and Jacob waiteing and travelling for the comeing in of that Number which shall be gatherd to the Lord and to his standard to reign with him on Mount Zyon in the heavenly Jerusalem the place of blessednes world without end Amen The Writter of these things saith that they are written in the great Love of God for the sake of those who wants the consolation of Israel and would gladly walk in the heavenly way thereof if they knew it that they may hereby take notice and have a view of the foot steps of the man and the way of the Lord with him to take him of from the wilde and evill wayes and courses of the world that so he might lead him to hat hope which is as an anchor to the soule that his heart might be fixed and he trusting in the Lord as David sayd My heart is fixed o God my heart is fixed untill he should see his desire upon his enemies T. B. FINIS Errata Pag. 2. in 15. for all which his Read all which this Pag. 5. l. 14. for for wey R. way Pag. 8. l. 24. for the thought R. he thought Pag. 8. l. 45. for compossionate R. compassionate Pag. 9. l. 10. for what have might R. what might Pag. 11. l. 19. for find out of by R. find out by Pag. 12. l. 26. for whitch R. with Pag. 12. l. 28. for but the learne R. but to learn Pag. 12. l. 45. for thath R. that Pag. 13. l. 1. put out nor none to him Pag. 13. l. 39. for knodlege R. knowledge Pag. 15. l. 29. for which had R. which he had Pag. 15. l. 42. for persecuting R. prosecuting Pag. 16. l. 4. for sprangfort R. sprangforth Pag. 18. l. 30. for and to R. and come to Pag. 19. l. 9. put out so dearly did the Lord. Pag. 19. l. 39. for thingh R. things Pag. 22. l. 25. for as experience R. but as experience Ditto for state condition R. state and condition Pag. 22. l. 44. for be quieting R. by quieting