on_o his_o own_o term_n to_o save_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n to_o sanctisie_n i_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n to_o rule_v i_o by_o his_o law_n and_o so_o to_o justisie_n and_o save_v i_o from_o gild_n and_o punishment_n for_o ever_o i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o great_o trouble_v that_o i_o do_v not_o early_o return_v unto_o god_n the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o my_o relapse_n since_o be_v the_o grief_n of_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o will_v wash_v away_o if_o possible_a with_o my_o own_o blood_n it_o cut_v my_o heart_n that_o i_o forsake_v they_o no_o soon_o and_o that_o my_o follow_a life_n have_v not_o be_v more_o fruitful_a yet_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o sincere_a keep_v myself_o through_o grace_n from_o my_o own_o iniquity_n and_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o contrary_a duty_n i_o be_o hearty_o willing_a to_o comply_v with_o god_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o to_o live_v in_o the_o daily_a practice_n of_o all_o those_o holy_a heavenly_a spiritual_a duty_n of_o heart_n and_o life_n which_o my_o god_n require_v i_o be_o very_o sorry_a that_o i_o perform_v they_o no_o better_o and_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o be_o not_o defile_v with_o great_a or_o reign_a sin_n but_o be_o prevail_o and_o faithful_a servant_n i_o long_o for_o nothing_o more_o than_o nothing_o so_o much_o as_o more_o fixedness_n of_o mind_n on_o god_n more_o constanoy_n cheerfulness_n and_o success_n in_o his_o bless_a service_n i_o unfeigned_o desire_v and_o through_o divine_a assistance_n resolve_v to_o persevere_v and_o grow_v still_o better_o notwithstanding_o all_o difficulty_n and_o against_o all_o temptation_n to_o think_v of_o and_o act_n according_a to_o matth._n 10.37_o 38_o etc._n etc._n and_o luke_n 14.26_o 33._o that_o whatever_o it_o cost_v i_o will_v so_o run_v that_o i_o may_v obtain_v the_o crown_n forget_v those_o thing_n that_o be_v behind_o and_o press_v forward_o towards_o the_o mark_n for_o the_o price_n of_o our_o high_a call_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n but_o thou_o o_o lord_n forsake_v not_o i_o that_o i_o forsake_v not_o thou_o i_o be_o in_o love_n with_o that_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n set_v we_o such_o a_o example_n of_o and_o make_v the_o distinguish_a character_n of_o his_o disciple_n my_o charity_n i_o think_v be_v large_a and_o extensive_a according_a to_o his_o will_n but_o especial_o i_o have_v love_v and_o do_v love_v all_o good_a man_n as_o such_o prevail_o they_o be_v to_o i_o the_o excellent_a of_o the_o earth_n in_o who_o as_o to_o man_n be_v all_o my_o delight_n the_o divine_a image_n affect_v and_o draw_v i_o wherever_o i_o find_v it_o notwithstanding_o difference_n in_o little_a thing_n and_o my_o love_n be_v real_a and_o fruitful_a according_a to_o my_o ability_n my_o heart_n and_o hand_n be_v open_a as_o object_n and_o occasion_n offer_v i_o have_v be_v and_o be_o very_o careful_a to_o wrong_v none_o have_v long_o since_o right_v those_o i_o do_v i_o have_v soon_o forgive_v when_o provoke_v yea_o seldom_o very_o seldom_o retain_v any_o grudge_n against_o any_o i_o have_v return_v good_a for_o evil_a where_o i_o deserve_v well_o and_o yet_o suffer_v much_o ill_n and_o where_o i_o have_v deliberate_o refuse_v to_o comply_v with_o any_o it_o be_v because_o i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n for_o their_o good_a i_o have_v be_v watchful_a self_n shall_v not_o prevail_v under_o shadow_n of_o be_v concern_v for_o god_n i_o have_v no_o enemy_n who_o i_o do_v not_o hearty_o pray_v for_o and_o be_o not_o ready_a to_o do_v good_a to_o praise_v be_v god_n these_o duty_n of_o love_v give_v and_o forgive_a be_v not_o and_o be_v not_o difficult_a i_o have_v be_v affect_v and_o desire_v to_o be_v more_o with_o the_o condition_n of_o the_o church_n of_o god_n the_o suffering_n of_o so_o great_a a_o part_n thereof_o and_o especial_o the_o sin_n that_o deserve_v they_o my_o prayer_n have_v be_v and_o be_v that_o god_n will_v refine_v and_o not_o destroy_v that_o he_o will_v diffuse_v that_o wisdom_n from_o above_o which_o be_v pure_a and_o peaceable_a that_o he_o will_v revive_v the_o power_n of_o godliness_n humble_v the_o guilty_a of_o our_o division_n and_o unite_n in_o christian_a catholic_n love_n i_o have_v conscientious_o consider_v my_o duty_n to_o the_o magistrate_n and_o according_o have_v be_v careful_a to_o obey_v all_o his_o law_n unless_o contrary_a to_o the_o law_n of_o god_n and_o i_o think_v it_o become_v i_o to_o understand_v his_o will_v not_o in_o the_o worst_a but_o in_o the_o best_a sense_n his_o word_n will_v bear_v remember_v that_o a_o err_a conscience_n will_v not_o clear_v i_o if_o i_o disobey_v any_o lawful_a command_n i_o have_v be_v little_a inquisitive_a about_o the_o magistrate_n duty_n but_o careful_a to_o know_v my_o own_o my_o enquiry_n be_v not_o whether_o he_o do_v well_o to_o command_v but_o whether_o i_o may_v lawful_o obey_v though_o he_o impose_v unnecessary_a burden_n beyond_o his_o authority_n which_o be_v for_o public_a good_a yet_o compliance_n may_v be_v my_o duty_n from_o humility_n love_n to_o peace_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v but_o respect_n god_n vicegerent_n i_o have_v consider_v the_o veneration_n due_a to_o those_o in_o authority_n by_o reason_n thereof_o however_o they_o be_v otherwise_o defective_a and_o the_o subjection_n that_o must_v be_v ever_o continue_v though_o the_o law_n of_o god_n forbid_v obedience_n and_o according_o resolve_v never_o to_o partake_v in_o rebellion_n though_o for_o the_o best_a religion_n and_o most_o valuable_a liberty_n but_o to_o be_v still_o subject_a not_o only_o for_o wrath_n but_o for_o conscience-sake_n i_o have_v often_o frequent_v the_o public_a authorize_v assembly_n and_o join_v in_o the_o establish_a way_n of_o worship_n not_o to_o avoid_v civil_a or_o ecclesiastical_a censure_n not_o for_o any_o worldly_a interest_n but_o from_o sense_n of_o duty_n and_o a_o just_a persuasion_n after_o many_o thought_n and_o prayer_n in_o which_o i_o be_o still_o more_o confirm_v that_o i_o be_v more_o oblige_v to_o do_v so_o by_o the_o law_n of_o god_n and_o abundant_o warrant_v by_o the_o example_n of_o our_o saviour_n and_o his_o apostle_n i_o have_v be_v still_o more_o confident_a as_o i_o consider_v the_o state_n and_o practice_n of_o the_o primitive_a and_o other_o church_n and_o look_v i_o think_v impartial_o into_o what_o be_v oppose_v by_o divider_n praise_v be_v god_n i_o be_o still_o well_o satisfy_v that_o i_o be_o not_o involve_v into_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n to_o sin_n i_o reflect_v with_o comfort_n on_o my_o moderation_n about_o small_a or_o doubtful_a matter_n and_o on_o my_o warmth_n against_o the_o antichristian_a spirit_n of_o vncharitableness_n hatred_n rage_n and_o malice_n i_o admire_v god_n infinite_a goodness_n in_o the_o way_n of_o salvation_n and_o be_o great_o trouble_v that_o i_o be_o no_o more_o affect_v with_o the_o amaze_a mercy_n and_o benignity_n of_o my_o heavenly_a father_n with_o the_o stupendous_a charity_n condescension_n and_o suffering_n of_o the_o son_n and_o with_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n long-suffering_a and_o kindnoss_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n i_o desire_v and_o long_o to_o know_v and_o love_n admire_v and_o praise_v speak_v and_o act_v more_o and_o more_o to_o the_o utmost_a of_o my_o power_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o incomprehensible_a trinity_n which_o have_v so_o condescend_v to_o save_o such_o a_o abominable_a wretched_a creature_n i_o find_v it_o most_o difficult_a to_o get_v and_o keep_v a_o heavenly_a frame_n without_o distraction_n i_o be_o oft_o discompose_v by_o worldly_a concern_v vex_v by_o the_o sin_n and_o weakness_n of_o other_o and_o too_o easy_o divert_v from_o my_o study_n meditation_n and_o prayer_n by_o vain_a impertinent_a unsuitable_a and_o unseasonable_a thought_n i_o labour_v and_o groan_v under_o they_o as_o my_o great_a burden_n and_o sin_n and_o strive_v alas_o too_o ineffectual_o against_o they_o what_o will_v i_o give_v yea_o what_o will_v i_o not_o give_v do_v or_o suffer_v that_o my_o soul_n be_v fix_v on_o god_n that_o i_o can_v serve_v he_o without_o distraction_n that_o my_o study_n meditation_n and_o converse_v with_o god_n in_o his_o word_n prayer_n and_o praise_v be_v more_o free_a from_o wander_v more_o affectionate_a spiritual_a and_o heavenly_a yet_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o long_o and_o desire_v to_o labour_v more_o effectual_o that_o god_n may_v sill_z and_o possess_v my_o soul_n that_o his_o holy_a enjoy_n service_n the_o perfect_a happiness_n of_o heaven_n may_v be_v more_o and_o more_o begin_v on_o earth_n i_o value_v and_o breath_n after_o the_o divine_a image_n as_o the_o great_a good_a esteem_v and_o desire_v to_o be_v rid_v of_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o heaven_n be_v therefore_o most_o amiable_a because_o there_o i_o hope_v
to_o be_v whole_o free_v from_o sin_n and_o to_o serve_v and_o enjoy_v my_o god_n and_o saviour_n in_o sinless_a holiness_n o_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o do_v as_o i_o profess_v promise_n and_o bind_v myself_o that_o my_o conversation_n may_v be_v more_o in_o heaven_n that_o thy_o will_n may_v be_v more_o do_v by_o i_o on_o earth_n as_o it_o be_v in_o heaven_n that_o i_o may_v more_o comfortable_o hope_n and_o long_o to_o be_v in_o heaven_n and_o o_o remember_v thy_o church_n and_o child_n and_o the_o whole_a world_n let_v my_o concern_n for_o they_o all_o be_v more_o according_a to_o thy_o will_n more_o pure_a and_o intense_a for_o thy_o glory_n amen_n for_o our_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n my_o worldly_a circumstance_n be_v not_o without_o difficulty_n and_o temptation_n considerable_a loss_n i_o have_v have_v yet_o continue_v give_v large_o to_o the_o poor_a my_o child_n die_v i_o do_v not_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o increase_v my_o estate_n i_o have_v now_o two_o likely_a to_o live_v and_o may_v have_v more_o so_o that_o my_o charge_n rise_v when_o what_o shall_v maintain_v it_o fall_v i_o resolve_v to_o cast_v my_o care_n on_o god_n in_o well-doing_n to_o exercise_v myself_o more_o than_o ever_o to_o keep_v a_o conscience_n void_a of_o offence_n impartial_o to_o study_v and_o do_v my_o duty_n and_o pray_v continual_o brenchley_n octob._n 23._o 1685._o my_o practice_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n answer_v my_o renew_a resolution_n i_o have_v employ_v my_o time_n better_o pray_v hard_a and_o endeavour_v when_o call_v abroad_o to_o do_v some_o good_a by_o good_a discourse_n when_o i_o think_v it_o seasonable_a and_o by_o make_v peace_n god_n have_v comfort_v i_o in_o the_o kindness_n of_o friend_n his_o spirit_n i_o hope_v be_v with_o i_o may_v i_o more_o abundant_o find_v it_o as_o i_o be_o call_v to_o do_v or_o suffer_v for_o my_o jesus_n sake_n brenchley_n feb._n 25._o 168â—_n i_o hope_v i_o continue_v in_o god_n service_n though_o alas_o with_o many_o fail_n till_o i_o be_v haste_v to_o london_n and_o hackney_n the_o 5_o where_o i_o have_v a_o happy_a issue_n of_o a_o affair_n which_o evident_o threaten_v much_o trouble_n and_o loss_n i_o can_v not_o but_o give_v somewhat_o considerable_a to_o some_o that_o be_v indeed_o great_a loser_n my_o god_n i_o trust_v will_v remember_v i_o for_o good_a and_o capacitate_v i_o to_o give_v more_o thursday_n the_o 18_o mr._n samuel_n barton_n fellow_n of_o corp._n christi_fw-la college_n in_o oxford_n marry_v my_o sister_n sarah_n o_o may_v they_o be_v faithful_a to_o god_n and_o one_o another_o according_a to_o their_o duty_n may_v he_o find_v a_o comfortable_a opportunity_n for_o public_a service_n of_o which_o alas_o i_o still_o continue_v uncapable_a i_o have_v be_v late_o urge_v and_o again_o consider_v my_o scruple_n as_o to_o the_o term_n of_o conformity_n but_o can_v yet_o see_v my_o way_n if_o i_o labour_v under_o involuntary_a mistake_n god_n will_v i_o hope_v pardon_v and_o remove_v they_o brenchley_n may_v 1._o 1686._o april_n 26._o our_o young_a child_n thomas_n die_v at_o the_o end_n of_o a_o convulsion-fit_a about_o a_o hour_n long_o etc._n etc._n may_v we_o more_o practical_o believe_v we_o must_v also_o die_v and_o not_o cease_v prepare_v for_o it_o till_o we_o come_v to_o desire_v it_o and_o live_v in_o the_o constant_a joyful_a expectation_n of_o eternity_n we_o be_v many_o way_n shameful_o faulty_a that_o we_o do_v not_o pardon_v and_o help_v we_o for_o thy_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n brenchley_n may_v 29._o 1686._o on_o the_o 23d_o i_o solemn_o remember_v my_o saviour_n passion_n and_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n through_o he_o my_o prayor_n and_o vow_n be_v principal_o for_o increase_v of_o holiness_n in_o heart_n and_o life_n god_n gracious_o make_v use_v of_o a_o mean_a affliction_n as_o other_o count_v it_o to_o quicken_v both_o the_o day_n follow_v so_o that_o the_o past_a week_n my_o watch_n have_v be_v more_o constant_a my_o recollection_n more_o frequent_a at_o least_o every_o evening_n and_o i_o sin_v to_o my_o comfort_n my_o converse_n both_o with_o god_n and_o man_n have_v be_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n if_o i_o mistake_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o have_v have_v many_o refiection_n on_o god_n manifold_a goodness_n many_o abhorring_n of_o my_o own_o sinful_a vileness_n i_o desire_v my_o action_n and_o as_o god_n please_v my_o suffering_n may_v be_v answerable_a that_o i_o may_v glorify_v he_o more_o on_o earth_n and_o help_v other_o to_o do_v so_o and_o become_v very_o ready_a and_o willing_a to_o serve_v he_o better_o in_o heaven_n amen_n for_o my_o saviour_n sake_n i_o praise_v god_n i_o have_v live_v this_o week_n also_o as_o the_o former_a my_o soul_n have_v be_v daily_o first_o and_o last_o with_o god_n my_o thought_n have_v very_o frequent_o return_v unto_o he_o and_o my_o time_n have_v be_v improve_v with_o some_o diligence_n for_o his_o glory_n my_o converse_n with_o other_o &_o in_o my_o own_o family_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n express_v the_o sense_n of_o those_o great_a thing_n that_o ought_v always_o above_o all_o to_o be_v mind_v my_o prayer_n and_o resolve_n have_v be_v and_o be_v for_o constancy_n and_o progress_n amen_n for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n june_n 12._o i_o hope_v i_o be_o still_o get_v near_o heaven_n i_o have_v continue_v my_o converse_n with_o god_n and_o endeavour_v to_o quicken_v other_o with_o myself_o to_o his_o bless_a service_n affliction_n be_v much_o abate_v but_o not_o my_o fervour_n o_o may_v love_n be_v a_o abide_a principle_n thereof_o act_v i_o with_o vigour_n and_o constancy_n for_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o the_o good_a of_o all_o with_o who_o i_o have_v to_o do_v amen_n for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n june_n 19_o 1686._o praise_v be_v god_n i_o have_v endeavour_v another_o week_n to_o speak_v and_o think_v and_o act_n for_o he_o his_o mercy_n further_o engage_v i_o daily_o jy_o 3._o i_o have_v think_v oft_o daily_o of_o god_n and_o heaven_n and_o oft_o pray_v that_o i_o may_v please_v he_o better_o and_o be_v more_o sit_v to_o be_v with_o he_o there_o but_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o serious_a and_o warm_a and_o earnest_o desirous_a of_o get_v and_o do_v good_a as_o i_o be_v before_o and_o yet_o i_o be_v last_o lord's-day_n at_o the_o sacrament_n i_o hope_v god_n know_v that_o i_o desire_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n with_o holiness_n that_o i_o may_v be_v at_o a_o great_a distance_n from_o the_o desilement_n of_o sin_n and_o have_v deep_o and_o more_o abide_v impression_n of_o his_o purify_n light_n and_o love_n and_o be_v more_o constant_a and_o successful_a in_o communicate_v thereof_o to_o other_o i_o proceed_v not_o so_o successful_o in_o my_o study_n as_o i_o will_v and_o i_o think_v sometime_o have_v i_o hope_v to_o pray_v and_o strive_v that_o i_o may_v be_v and_o do_v better_o impertinent_a discourse_n the_o too_o common_a bane_n of_o converse_n have_v be_v my_o trouble_n may_v i_o be_v able_a to_o oppose_v they_o with_o christian_a prudence_n and_o to_o perfume_v every_o place_n and_o company_n with_o somewhat_o true_o good_a for_o his_o sake_n who_o purchase_v and_o plead_v for_o grace_n to_o help_v in_o time_n of_o need_n july_n 10._o a_o indispose_a body_n and_o several_a encumber_a diversion_n have_v hinder_v i_o from_o serve_a god_n as_o i_o will_v yet_o i_o hope_v my_o main_a design_n have_v not_o be_v whole_o neglect_v i_o be_v faithful_a to_o two_o person_n in_o deal_v plain_o with_o they_o about_o some_o matter_n that_o have_v occasion_v several_a to_o speak_v evil_a of_o they_o but_o i_o be_v so_o with_o abundance_n of_o tenderness_n and_o therefore_o can_v but_o think_v one_o of_o they_o blame-worthy_a for_o the_o bad_a return_n he_o make_v my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v i_o do_v what_o i_o do_v mere_o from_o sense_n of_o duty_n have_v great_a reluctance_n which_o only_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o the_o love_n he_o command_v to_o my_o fellow-servant_n overcome_v july_n 17._o i_o endeavour_v to_o serve_v my_o good_a god_n of_o who_o kindness_n i_o have_v still_o more_o experience_n but_o alas_o i_o have_v want_v that_o warmth_n and_o pleasure_n i_o have_v sometime_o have_v i_o long_o and_o desire_v to_o labour_v for_o it_o more_o than_o ever_o july_n 31._o i_o want_v the_o aid_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n because_o i_o doubt_v i_o do_v not_o seek_v and_o labour_v for_o and_o with_o they_o as_o i_o ought_v i_o walk_v heavy_o yet_o i_o hope_v in_o the_o right_a way_n o_o for_o more_o grace_n or_o rather_o for_o better_a improvement_n of_o what_o i_o have_v that_o i_o may_v have_v more_o for_o jesus_n sake_n aug._n 7._o &_o 14._o to_o the_o like_a purpose_n my_o watch_n
to_o those_o that_o there_o attend_v his_o ministry_n have_v make_v so_o long_a a_o digression_n though_o necessary_a to_o clear_v the_o sense_n of_o these_o passage_n in_o his_o diary_n by_o which_o it_o full_o appear_v with_o what_o deliberation_n and_o sincerity_n he_o act_v in_o these_o matter_n i_o shall_v before_o i_o close_v it_o subjoin_v one_o instance_n of_o the_o admirable_a influence_n his_o example_n and_o persuasion_n have_v to_o promote_v religion_n in_o the_o family_n and_o neighbourhood_n of_o glastenbury_n for_o the_o heir_n of_o it_o sir_n thomas_n r_o be_v but_o then_o new_o come_v to_o age_n do_v at_o his_o desire_n to_o engage_v his_o tenant_n the_o more_o effectual_o to_o the_o study_n and_o practice_n of_o religion_n call_v together_o their_o servant_n and_o child_n every_o lord's-day_n after_o the_o afternoon_n sermon_n and_o himself_o catechise_v they_o this_o i_o have_v often_o observe_v with_o great_a satisfaction_n and_o as_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o mention_n of_o it_o be_v no_o dishonour_n to_o his_o quality_n or_o year_n so_o i_o wish_v that_o so_o memorable_a a_o example_n of_o early_a zeal_n for_o piety_n may_v draw_v other_o to_o a_o imitation_n of_o it_o such_o familiar_a instruction_n will_v be_v more_o ready_o and_o thankful_o embrace_v by_o their_o inferior_n from_o those_o on_o who_o their_o secular_a interest_n depend_v and_o who_o they_o be_v sure_a nothing_o but_o compassionate_a charity_n to_o their_o soul_n can_v prompt_v to_o so_o much_o condescension_n but_o to_o return_v to_o mr._n trench_n diary_n glanstenb_n may_v 24._o 1680._o i_o have_v be_v abuse_v censure_v and_o slander_n be_v faithfulness_n and_o plain-dealing_a have_v hard_a return_n but_o my_o duty_n be_v comfortable_a though_o against_o the_o stream_n i_o have_v witness_n of_o my_o integrity_n above_o and_o within_o and_o in_o the_o confidence_n thereof_o be_v plain_a and_o free_a with_o the_o injurious_a party_n to_o who_o i_o still_o return_v good_a for_o evil_a prayer_n and_o service_n for_o many_o and_o cruel_a wrong_n the_o guilty_a at_o length_n express_v a_o great_a and_o sorrowful_a sense_n of_o what_o be_v past_a ask_v god_n forgiveness_n and_o his_o unworthy_a servant_n and_o promise_v what_o have_v fly_v out_o in_o passion_n against_o truth_n shall_v be_v rectify_v and_o my_o innocence_n clear_v i_o be_v still_o praise_v god_n who_o enable_v i_o to_o do_v my_o duty_n against_o such_o cut_a provocation_n and_o give_v i_o so_o much_o kindness_n where_o i_o less_o expect_v it_o glast_n jan._n 1._o 1681._o thankful_a acknowledgement_n of_o continue_a goodness_n to_o i_o and_o i_o especial_o for_o any_o sincerity_n and_o diligence_n in_o increase_a my_o own_o and_o other_o knowledge_n love_n and_o obedience_n breathe_n after_o more_o and_o more_o holiness_n that_o by_o any_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v more_o like_o my_o heavenly_a father_n more_o faithful_a in_o endeavour_v his_o glory_n and_o the_o good_a of_o man_n and_o more_o happy_a in_o success_n prayer_n for_o constant_a assistance_n be_v quicken_v by_o the_o sudden_a sink_v and_o die_v of_o a_o old_a acquaintance_n mr._n s_o who_o be_v common_o very_o cheerful_a full_a of_o comfortable_a confident_a expression_n of_o resignation_n to_o and_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o of_o unconcernedness_n for_o and_o elevation_n above_o low_a temporal_a matter_n yet_o on_o the_o death_n of_o a_o friend_n and_o wife_n all_o fail_v and_o he_o soon_o sink_v and_o die_v what_o need_v to_o please_v and_o seek_v to_o god_n continual_o that_o he_o may_v keep_v we_o strong_a in_o himself_o and_o the_o power_n of_o his_o might_n glast_n july_n 10._o 1682._o i_o comply_v to_o stay_v at_o glast_n though_o solicit_v by_o other_o friend_n to_o be_v near_o they_o with_o hearty_a prayer_n to_o be_v more_o laborious_a and_o successful_a for_o their_o good_a particular_o sir_n th'_v who_o i_o have_v great_a reason_n to_o love_v i_o have_v comfortable_a hope_n of_o my_o own_o sincerity_n but_o not_o without_o trouble_n for_o my_o sluggishness_n and_o wander_a thought_n i_o reflect_v on_o the_o prime_n of_o my_o health_n and_o briskness_n not_o improve_v as_o become_v i_o for_o god_n acknowledge_v it_o just_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v honour_v to_o do_v he_o any_o considerable_a service_n and_o beg_v pardon_n and_o strength_n of_o body_n and_o soul_n and_o good_a success_n for_o his_o infinite_a unaccountable_a mercy_n and_o goodness_n in_o our_o dear_a saviour_n glast_n may_v 28._o 1683._o i_o find_v several_a note_n of_o my_o own_o sincerity_n and_o with_o more_o confidence_n distraction_n be_v my_o trouble_n against_o which_o my_o prayer_n be_v still_o direct_v i_o have_v design_v to_o receive_v the_o sacrament_n in_o cranbroke-church_n not_o from_o fear_n for_o which_o there_o be_v then_o no_o occasion_n but_o from_o sense_n of_o duty_n and_o trouble_v for_o the_o neglect_n thereof_o i_o have_v be_v for_o it_o and_o oft_o declare_v my_o judgement_n but_o the_o vehement_a aversion_n and_o dissuasion_n of_o several_a good_a man_n have_v keep_v i_o from_o do_v it_o there_o but_o i_o be_v at_o length_n satisfy_v i_o ought_v not_o to_o please_v they_o therein_o but_o to_o obey_v the_o command_n of_o christian_a unity_n communion_n and_o love_n to_o perform_v a_o duty_n and_o partake_v of_o a_o privilege_n sad_o neglect_v and_o take_v away_o that_o offence_n which_o forbearance_n will_v six_z before_o some_o who_o mistake_o cry_v out_o against_o offence_n when_o through_o their_o own_o fault_n displease_v my_o body_n have_v continue_v very_o crazy_a lung_n sensible_o heat_v and_o swell_v by_o the_o catarrh_n notwithstanding_o many_o mean_n but_o god_n send_v i_o to_o london_n make_v my_o friend_n urge_v i_o to_o better_a advice_n and_o blessed_v what_o be_v prescribe_v especial_o milk_n various_o prepare_v and_o mix_v with_o quick_a and_o strange_a success_n wish_n be_v for_o a_o heart_n more_o draw_v and_o warm_v by_o divine_a goodness_n and_o love_n my_o work_n at_o glastenbury_n draw_v to_o a_o end_n my_o conscience_n witness_v that_o i_o have_v endeavour_v to_o promote_v the_o essential_o of_o religion_n not_o our_o unhappy_a difference_n with_o as_o little_a appearance_n of_o schism_n or_o faction_n as_o i_o can_v brenchley_n nou._n 20._o 1684._o our_o 6_o son_n be_v bapitze_v and_o name_v thomas_n by_o mr._n monkton_n our_o minister_n at_o brenchley_n i_o hope_v he_o have_v not_o only_o the_o token_n but_o the_o save_a benefit_n of_o the_o covenant_n pray_v he_o may_v live_v and_o faithful_o embrace_v it_o for_o himself_o brenchley_n july_n 5._o 1685._o this_o day_n i_o receive_v the_o sacrament_n renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o my_o god_n who_o be_v my_o all._n i_o converse_v little_a with_o man_n but_o enough_o to_o see_v and_o hear_v of_o many_o lamentable_a sinful_a distemper_n lord_n make_v all_o better_a and_o keep_v such_o as_o profess_v great_a purity_n from_o impure_a heat_n and_o mistake_v and_o from_o do_v evil_a under_o pretence_n of_o good_n july_n 21._o i_o endeavour_v as_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v affect_v with_o the_o sin_n and_o suffering_n of_o so_o many_o my_o thought_n have_v be_v frequent_o of_o god_n and_o my_o discourse_n with_o several_a as_o i_o have_v opportunity_n i_o hope_v they_o will_v have_v be_v better_a if_o less_o disturb_v by_o bodily_a indisposition_n which_o still_o cloud_n my_o head_n o_o for_o a_o better_a head_n and_o heart_n to_o glorify_v my_o good_a god_n and_o saviour_n in_o do_v and_o suffer_v whatever_o please_v he_o brench_o octob._n 7._o 1685._o be_v enter_v into_o the_o 43d_o year_n of_o my_o life_n i_o reflect_v on_o my_o carriage_n towards_o god_n and_o man_n what_o i_o have_v be_v and_o do_v in_o the_o world_n and_o what_o ground_n i_o have_v to_o hope_v for_o a_o better_a the_o result_n whereof_o i_o write_v for_o future_a use_n i_o hope_v without_o partiality_n god_n grant_v i_o may_v yet_o write_v better_o i_o be_o unfeigned_o willing_a to_o know_v the_o worst_a of_o myself_o i_o think_v i_o have_v good_a ground_n to_o hope_n i_o have_v find_v the_o benefit_n of_o a_o early_a and_o sincere_a dedication_n to_o god_n by_o my_o good_a parent_n and_o of_o their_o careful_a education_n and_o frequent_a prayer_n and_o the_o many_o other_o spiritual_a advantage_n i_o enjoy_v i_o be_o pretty_a well_o assure_v that_o i_o have_v choose_v god_n for_o my_o portion_n rest_v and_o happiness_n and_o that_o i_o prefer_v not_o the_o profit_n pleasure_n and_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n before_o he_o i_o desire_v no_o more_o thereof_o than_o be_v needful_a for_o his_o service_n hearty_o desire_v and_o seek_v first_o the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n and_o his_o righteousness_n and_o expect_v other_o thing_n in_o due_a subordination_n i_o have_v i_o hope_v hearty_o humble_o and_o thankful_o accept_v the_o lord_n christ_n as_o offer_v in_o the_o gospel_n to_o be_v my_o saviour_n