K. HENRY IV. WITH THE HUMOURS OF Sir John Falstaff A TRAGI-COMEDY As it is Acted at the THEATRE in Litttle-Lincolns-Inn-Fields BY His Majesty's Servants Revived with Alterations Written Originally by Mr. Shakespear LONDON Printed for R. W. and Sold by John Deeve at Bernards-Inn-Gate in Holborn 1700. Newly Published The Practice of the Spiritual or Ecclesiastical Courts wherein is contained their Original Stile and Causes usually Tryed in them with the manner of Proving Wills in common Form of Law Together with the manner of Proceeding in Cases of Defamation Right of Patronage Dilapidation Criminal Causes c. The Second Edition Corrected By H. Conset Sold by Sold by John Deeve at Bernards-Inn-Gate in Holborn 〈◊〉 Dramatis Personae MEN. King Henry IV. Mr. Berry Prince of Wales Mr. Scudemore John Earl of Lancaster Second Son to King Henry Mr. Bayly Northumberland Mr. Boman Harry Percy Sirnamed Hotspur his Son Mr. Verbruggen Westmerland Mr. Pack Worcester Mr. Freeman Mortimer  Owen Glendower Mr. Hodgson Dowglas Mr. Arnold Sir Walter Blunt Mr. Trout Sir Richard Vernon Mr. Harris Sir John Falstaff The Prince's Companion Mr. Betterton Poins The Prince's Companion  Petto The Prince's Companion  Gadshill The Prince's Companion  Bardolph The Prince's Companion Mr. Bright Francis the Drawer Mr. Bowen WOMEN Katherine Percy Hotspur ' s Wife Mr. Boman Hostess Mr. Leigh Sheriff Carriers Chamberlain Travellers c. K. HENRY IV. WITH THE HUMOURS OF Sir JOHN FALSTAFF ACT I. SCENE I. Enter King Lord John of Lancaster Earl of Westmorland with others King SO shaken as we are so wan with Care Find we a time for frighted Peace to pant No more shall trenching War channel her Fields Nor bruise her Flowrets with the armed Hoofs Of Hostile Paces The edge of War like an ill-sheathed Knife No more shall cut his Master Then let me hear Of you my gentle Cousin Westmerland What yesternight our Council did decree In forwarding this dear Expedience West My Liege This haste was hot in question And many limits of the Charge set down But yesternight When all athwart there came A Post from Wales loaden with heavy News Whose worst was That the Noble Mortimer Leading the Men of Heresordshire to fight Against the irregular and wild Glendower Was by the rude hands of that Welshman taken And a thousand of his People butchered Upon whose dead Corps there was such misuse Such beastly shameless transformation By those Welshwomen done as may not be Without much shame re-told or spoken of King It seems then that the tidings of this Broil Brake off our business for the Holy Land West This matcht with other like my gracious Lord Far more uneven and unwelcome News Came from the North and thus it did report On Holy-Rood day the gallant Hotspur there Young Harry Percy and brave Archibald That ever valiant and approved Scot At Holmedon met where they did spend A sad and bloody hour As by discharge of their Artillery And shape of likelihood the News was told For he that brought them in the very Heat And pride of their Contention did take Horse Uncertain of the issue any way King Here is a dear and true industrious Friend Sir Walter Blunt new lighted from his Horse And he hath brought us smooth and welcome News The Earl of Dowglas is discomfited Ten thousand bold Scots two and twenty Knights Balk't in their own Blood did Sir Walter see On Holmedon's Plains Of Prisoners Hotspur took Mordake Earl of Fife and eldest Son To beaten Dowglas and the Earl of Athol Of Marry Angus and Menteith And is not this an Honourable Spoyl A gallant Prize Ha Cousin is it not In faith it is West A Conquest for a Prince to boast of King Yea there thou mak'st me sad and mak'st me sin In envy that my Lord Northumberland Should be the Father of so blest a Son Whil'st I by looking on the Praise of him See Ryot and Dishonour stain the Brow Of my young Harry O that it could be prov'd That some Night-tripping Fairy had exchang'd In Cradle-cloaths our Children where they lay And call'd mine Percy his Plantagenet Then would I have his Harry and he mine But let him from my Thoughts What think you Coze Of this young Percie 's Pride The Prisoners Which he in this Adventure hath surpriz'd To his own use he keeps and sends me word I shall have none but Mardake Earl of Fife West This is his Uncles teaching This is Worcester Malevolent to you in all Aspects Which makes him prune himself and bristle up The crest of Youth against your Dignity King But I have sent for him to answer this And for this cause a while me must neglect Our holy purpose to Jerusalem Cousin on Wednesday next our Council we will hold At Windsor so inform the Lords But come your self with speed to us again For more is to be said and to be done Than out of anger can be uttered West I will my Liege Exeunt SCENE II. Enter Henry Prince of Wales Sir John Falstaff Fal. Now Hal what time of day is it Lad Prince Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of old Sack and unbuttoning thee after Supper and sleeping upon Benches in the afternoon that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know What a Devil hast thou to do with the time of the day unless Hours were Cups of Sack and Minutes Capons and Clocks the Tongues of Bawds I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand the time of the day Fal. Indeed you came near me now Hal. For we that take Purses go by the Moon and seven Stars and not by Phoebus he that wandring Knight so fair And I pray thee sweet Wag when thou art King as God save thy Grace Majesty I should say for Grace thou wilt have none Prince What! none Fal. No not so much as will serve to be Prologue to an Egg and Butter Prince Well how then Come roundly roundly Fal. Marry then sweet Wag when thou art King let not us that are Squires of the Nights body be call'd Thieves of the Days Beauty Let us be Diana's Foresters Gentlemen of the Shade Minions of the Moon and let Men say we be Men of good Government being governed as the Sea is by our noble and chast Mistress the Moon under whose countenance we steal Prince Thou say'st well and it holds well too for the Fortune of us that are the Moons Men doth ebb and flow like the Sea being governed as the Sea is by the Moon as for proof Now a Purse of Gold most resolutely snatch'd on Monday night and most dissolutely spent on Tuesday morning got with swearing Laid by And spent with crying Bring in Now in as low an ebb as the foot of the Ladder and by and by in as high a flow as the ride of the Gallows Fal. Thou say'st true Lad And is not my Hostess of the Tavern a most sweet Wench Prince As is the Honey
not counsel well You speak it out of fear and cold heart Vern Do me no slander Dowglas By my Life And I dare well maintain it with my Life If well-respected Honour bid me on I hold as little counsel with weak fear As you my Lord or any Scot that this day lives Let it be seen to morrow in the Battle Which of us fears Dowg Yea or to night Vern Content Hotsp To night say I. Vern Come come it may not be I wonder much being Men of such great Leading as you are That you foresee not what Impediments Drag back our Expedition certain Horse Of my Cousin Vernon's are not yet come up Your Uncle Worcester's Horse came but to day And now their pride and mettle is asleep Their Courage with hard labour tame and dull That not a Horse is half the half of himself Hotsp So are the Horse of the Enemy In general journey-bated and brought low The better part of Ours are full of rest Worc. The number of the Kings exceedeth ours For Gods sake Cousin stay till all come in The Trumpet sounds a Parley Enter Sir Walter Blunt Blunt I come with gracious offers from the King If you vouchsafe me hearing and respect Hotsp Welcome Sir Walter Blunt And would to God you were of our determination Some of us love you well and even those some Envy your great Deservings and good Name Because you are not of our Quality But stand against us like an Enemy Blunt And Heaven defend but still I should stand so So long as out of Limit and true Rule You stand against Anointed Majesty But to my Charge The King hath sent to know The Nature of your Griefs and whereupon You conjure from the breast of Civil peace Such bold Hostility teaching his dutious Land Audacious Cruelty If that the King Have any way your good Deserts forgot Which he confesseth to be manifold He bids you name your Griefs and with all speed You shall have your desires with interest And Pardon absolute for your self and these Herein mis-led by your suggestion Hot. The King is kind And well we know the King Knows at what time to Promise when to Pay My Father my Uncle and my self Did give him that same Royalty he wears And when he was not six and twenty strong Sick in the Worlds regard wretched and low A poor unminded Out-law sneaking home My Father gave him welcome to the shore And when he heard him swear and vow to God He came to be but Duke of Lancaster To sue out his Livery and beg his Peace With tears of Innocency and terms of zeal My Father in kind heart and pity mov'd Swore him assistance and perform'd it too Now when the Lords and Barons of the Realm Perceiv'd Northumberland did lean to him They more and less came in with Cap and Knee Met him in-Boroughs Cities Villages Attended him on Bridges stood in Lanes Laid Gifts before him proffer'd him their Oaths Gave him their Heirs as Pages followed him Even at the Heels in golden multitudes He presently as greatness knows it self Steps me a little higher than his Vow Made to my Father while his Blood was poor Upon the naked shore at Ravenspurg And now forsooth takes on him to reform Some certain Edicts and some strait Decrees That lay too heavy on the Common-wealth Cries out upon Abuses seems to weep Over his Countreys Wrongs and by his Face This seeming Brow of Justice did he win The Hearts of all that he did angle for Proceeded further cut me off the Heads Of all the Favourites that the absent King In deputation left behind him here When he was personal in the Irish War Blunt Tut I came not to hear this Hot. Then to the point In short time after he depos'd the King Soon after that depriv'd him of his Life And in the neck of that task't the whole State To make that worse suffer'd his Kinsman March Who is if every Owner were right plac'd Indeed his King to be engag'd in Wales There without Ransom to lie forfeited Disgrac'd me in my happy Victories Sought to intrap me by intelligence Rated my Uncle from the Council Board In rage dismiss'd my Father from the Court Broke Oath committing Wrong on Wrong And in conclusion drove us to seek out This Head of safety and withal to prie Into his Title the which we find Too indirect for long continuance Blunt Shall I return this answer to the King Hotsp Not so Sir Walter We 'll withdraw a while Go to the King and let there be impawn'd Some surety for a safe return again And in the morning early shall my Uncle Bring him our purpose and so farewell Blunt I would you would accept of Grace and Love Hotsp And 't may be so we shall Blunt Pray Heaven you do Exeunt ACT V. SCENE I. Enter the King Prince of Wales Lord John of Lancaster Earl of West morland Sir Walter Blunt and Falstaff King HOw bloudily the Sun begins to peer Above you busky hill the Day looks pale At his Distemperature The Trumpet sounds Enter Worcester King How now my Lord of Worster 'T is not well That you and I should meet upon such terms As now we meet You have deceiv'd our Trust And made us doff our easie Robe of Peace To crush our old Limbs in ungentle Steel This is not well my Lord this is not well What say you to it Will you again unknit This churlish Knot of all-abhorred War And move in that Obedient Orb again Where you did give a fair and natural light And be no more an exhal'd Meteor A Prodigie of Fear and a Portent Of broached Mischief to the unborn Time Mor. Hear me my Liege For mine own part I could be well content To entertain the Lag-end of my life With quiet hours For I do protest I have not sought the day of this dislike King You have not sought it how come it then Falst Rebellion lay in his way and he found it Prin. Peace Chewet peace Wor. It pleas'd your Majesty to turn your looks Of Favour from my Self and all our House And yet I must remember you my Lord We were the first and dearest of your Friends For you my Staff of Office did I break In Richard's time and posted day and night To meet you on the way and kiss your hand When yet you were in place and in account Nothing so strong and fortunate as I It was my self my Brother and his Son That brought you home and boldly did out-dare The danger of the time You swore to us And you did swear that Oath to Doncaster That you did nothing of purpose ' gainst the State Nor claim no further then your new-faln right The Seat of Gaunt Dukedom of Lancaster To this we sware our aid But in short space It rain'd down Fortune showring on your head And such a floud of Greatness fell on you And being fed by us you us'd us so As that ungentle gull the
Dials point Still ending at the arrival of an hour And if we live we live to tread on Kings If dye brave death when Princes dye with us Now for our Consciences the Arms is fair When the intent for bearing them is just Enter another Messenger Mes My Lord prepare the King comes on apace Hot. I thank him that he cuts me off from my tale For I profess not talking Only this Let each man do his best And here I draw my Sword Whose worthy temper I intend to stain With the best blood that I can meet withall In the Adventure of this perillous day Now Esperance Percy and set on Sound all the lofty Instruments of War And by that Musick let us all embrace For Heaven to Earth some of us never shall A second time do such a courtesie They embrace the Trumpets sound the King entreth with his Power alarm unto the Battel Then enter Dowglas and Sir Walter Blunt Blu. What is thy Name that in Battel thus thou crossest me What Honour doest thou seek upon my Head Dow. Know then my name is Dowglas And do haunt thee in the Battel thus Because some tell me that thou art a King Blunt They tell thee true Dow. The Lord of Stafford here to day hath bought Thy likeness for instead of thee King Harry This Sword hath ended him so shall it thee Unless thou yield thee as a Prisoner Blu. I was not born to yield thou haughty Scot And thou shalt find a King that will revenge Lord Stafford's death Fight Blunt is slain then enters Hotspur Hot. O Dowglas hadst thou sought at Holmedon thus I never had triumphed o're a Scot. Dow. All 's done all 's won here breathless lies the King Hot. Where Dow. Here. Hot. This Dowglas No I know this face full well A gallant Knight he was his name was Blunt Semblably furnish'd like the King himself Dow. Ah fool go with thy Soul whither it goes A borrowed Title hast thou bought too dear Why didst thou tell me that thou wert a King Hot. The King hath many marching in his Coats Dow. Now by my Sword I will kill all his Coats I 'll murther all his Wardrobe piece by piece Untill I meet the King Hot. Up and away Our Souldiers stand full fairly for the day Exeunt Alarm and enter Falstaff solus Fal. Though I could scape shot-free at London I fear the shot here here 's no scoring but upon the pate Soft who art thou Sir Walter Blunt there 's Honour for you here 's no Vanity I am as hot as moulten Lead and as heavy too Heaven keep Lead out of me I need no more weight than mine own Bowels I have led my Rag of Muffians where they are pepper'd There 's not three of 150 left alive and they for the Towns end to beg during Life But who comes here Enter Prince Prin. What stand'st thou idle here lend me thy Sword Many a Noble Man lies stark and stiff Under the hooves of vaunting Enemies Whose deaths are unreveng'd Prethee lend me thy Sword Fal. O Hal I prethee give me leave to breathe a while Turk Gregory never did such deeds in Arms as I have done this day I have pay'd Percy I have made him sure Prin. He is indeed and living to kill thee I prethee lend me thy Sword Falst Nay Hal if Percy be alive thou get'st not my Sword but take my Pistol if thou wilt Prin. Give it me What is it in the Case Fal. I Hal 't is hot There 's that will Sack a City The Prince draws out a Bottle of Sack Prin. What is it a time to jest and dally now Exit Throws it at him Falst If Percy be alive I 'll pierce him if he do come in my way so If he do not if I come in his willingly let him make a Carbonado of me I like not such grinning Honour as Sir Walter hath Give me life which if I can save so if not Honour comes unlook'd for and there 's an end Exit SCENE III. Enter Hotspur Hot. If I mistake not thou art Harry Monmouth Prin. Thou speakest as if I would deny my Name Hot. My Name is Harry Percy Prin. Why then I see a very valiant Rebel of that Name I am the Prince of Wales and think not Percy To share with me in glory any more Two Stars keep not their motion in one Sphere Nor can one England brook a double Reign Of Harry Percy and the Prince of Wales Hot. Nor shall it Harry for the Hour is come To end the one of us and would to Heaven Thy Name in Arms were now as great as mine Prin. I 'll make it greater e're I part from thee And all the budding Honours on thy Crest I 'll crop to make a Garland for my Head Hot. I can no longer brook thy Vanities Fight Enter Falstaff Fal. Well said Hal to it Hal. Nay you shall find no Boys play here I can tell you Enter Dowglas he fights with Falstaff who falls down as if he is dead The Prince killeth Percy Hot. Oh Harry thou hast rob'd me of my Youth I better brook the loss of bitter Life Than those proud Titles thou hast won of me They wound my Thoughts worse than the Sword my Flesh But thought 's the slave of Life and Life Time's Fool And Time that takes survey of all the World Must have a stop O I could Prophesie But that the Earth and the cold hand of death Lyes on my Tongue No Percy thou art dust And food for Prin. For Worms brave Percy Farewel great Heart Ill-weav'd Ambition how much art thou shrunk When that this Body did contain a Spirit A Kingdom for it was too small a bound But now two paces of the vilest Earth Is room enough This Earth that bears thee dead Bears not alive so stout a Gentleman Adieu and take thy Praise with thee to Heaven Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the Grave But not remembred in thy Epitaph What Old Acquaintance Could not all this flesh Keep in a little life Poor Jack farewel I could have better spar'd a better Man O I should have a heavy miss of thee If I were much in love with Vanity Death hath not stuck so fat a Dear to day Tho' many dearer in this bloody Fray Imbowell'd will I see thee by and by Till then in blood by Noble Percy lye Exit Falstaff riseth up Falst Imbowelled if thou imbowel me to day I 'll give you leave to powder me and eat me too to morrow 'T was time to counterfeit or that hot Termagant Scot had paid me Scot and Lot too Counterfeit I am no Counterfeit to dye is to be a Counterfeit for he is but the Counterfeit of a Man who hath not the Life of a Man But to counterfeit dying when a Man thereby liveth is to be no Counterfeit but the true and perfect Image of Life indeed The better part of Valour is Discretion in the which better part I have saved my Life I am afraid of this Gun-powder Percy though he be dead How if he should counterfeit too and rise I am afraid he would prove the better Counterfeit Therefore I 'll make him sure yea and I 'll swear I have kill'd him Why may not he rise as well as I Nothing confutes me but Eyes and no body sees me Therefore Sirrah with a new Wound in your thigh come you along with me Takes Hotspur on his back Enter Prince and John of Lancaster Prin. Come Brother John full bravely hast thou flesh'd thy Maiden Sword John But soft who have we here Did you not tell me this fat Man was dead Prin. I did I saw him dead Breathless and bleeding on the ground Art thou alive Or is it Fantasie that plays upon our Eye-sight I prethee speak we will not trust our Eyes Without our Ears Thou art not what thou seem'st Falst No that 's certain I am not a Double Man but if I am not Jack Falstaff then am I a Jack There is Percy if your Father will do me any Honour so if not let him kill the next Percy himself I look either to be Earl or Duke I can assure you Prin. Why Percy I kill'd my self and saw thee dead Fal. Did'st thou Lord Lord how the world is given to Lying I grant you I was down and out of Breath and so was he but we rose both at an instant and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury Clock if I may be believed so if not let them that should reward Valour bear the sin upon their own heads I 'll take 't on my death I gave him this wound in the Thigh if the man were alive and would deny it I would make him eat a piece of my Sword John This is the strangest tale that e're I heard Prin. This is the strangest Fellow Brother John Come bring your luggage nobly on your back For my part if a lye may do thee grace I 'll gild it with the happiest terms I have A Rereat is sounded The Trumpets sound Retreat the day is ours Come Brother let 's to the highest of the Field To see what Friends are living who are dead Exeunt Fal. I 'll follow as they say for Reward He that rewards me Heaven reward him If I do grow great again I 'll grow less for I 'll purge and leave Sack and live cleanly as a Noble man should do Exit SCENE IV. The Trumpets Sound Enter King Prince of Wales Lord John of Lancaster Earl of Westmerland with Worcester and Vernon Prisoners King Thus ever did Rebellion find Rebuke Ill-spirited Worcester did we not send Grace Pardon and terms of Love to all of you And would'st thou turn our Offers contrary Wor. What I have done my safety urg'd me to And I embrace this Fortune patiently Since not to be avoided it falls on me King Bear Worcester to death and Vernon too Other Offenders we will pause upon Exit Worcester and Vernon King Then this remains that we divide our Power You Son John and my Cousin Westmerland Towards York shall bend you with your dearest speed To meet Northumherland and the Prelate Scroop Who as we here are busily in Arms. My self and Son Harry will towards Wales To fight with Glendower and the Earl of March Rebellion in this Land shall lose his way Meeting the Check of such another day And since this business so far is done Let us not leave till all our own be won Exeunt FINIS
may salve The long-grown Wounds of my intemperature If not the end of Life cancels all Bands And I will dye a hundred thousand deaths E'er break the smallest parcel of this Vow King A hundred thousand Rebles die in this Thou shalt have Charge and Soveraign Trust herein Enter Blunt How now good Blunt thy looks are full of speed Blunt So hath the business that I come to speak of Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word That Dowglas and the English Rebels met The eleventh of this Month at Shrewsbury A mighty and a fearful Head they are If promises be kept on every hand As ever offered foul play in a State King The Earl of Westmerland set forth to day With him my Son Lord John of Lancaster For this Advertisement is five days old On Wednesday next Harry thou shalt set forward On Thursday we our selves will march Our meeting is Bridgenorth And Harry you shall march Through Glocester-shire By which account Our business valued some twelve days hence Our general Forces at Bridgenorth shall meet Our hands are full of business Let 's away Advantage feeds them fat while Men delay Exeunt SCENE III. Enter Falstaff and Bardolph Falst Bardolph am I not faln away vilely since this last action Do I not bate do I not dwindle Why my skin hangs about me like an old Ladies loose Gown I am withered like an old Apple John Well I 'll repent and that suddenly while I am in some liking I shall be out of Heart shortly and then I shall have no strength to repent And I have not forgotten what the in-side of a Church is made of I am a Pepper Corn a Brewers Horse The in-side of a Church Company villanous Company hath been the spoil of me Bard. Sir John you are so freful you cannot live long Falst Why there it is Come sing me a bawdy Song make me merry I was as virtuously given as a Gentleman need to be virtuous enough swore little Dic'd not above seven times a week went to a Bawdy-house not above once in a quarter of an hour paid money that I borrowed three or four times lived well and in good compass And now I live out of all order out of compass Bard. Why you are so fat Sir John that you must needs be out of all compass out of all reasonable compass Sir John Falst Do thou amend thy Face and I 'll amend my Life Thou art our Admiral thou bearest the Lantern in the Poop but 't is in the Nose of thee thou art the Knight of the burning Lamp Bard. Why Sir John my Face does you no harm Falst No I 'll be sworn I make as good use of it as many a Man doth of a Deaths-Head or a Memento Mori I never see thy Face but I think upon Hell Fire when thou rann'st up Gads-hill in the night to catch my Horse if I did not think thou hadst been an Ignis fatuus or a Ball of Wild-fire there 's no purchase in Money O thou art a perpetual Triumph an everlasting Bone-fire-light thou hast saved me a thousand Marks in Links and Torches walking with thee in the night betwixt Tavern and Tavern But the Sack that thou hast drunk me would have bought me light as good cheap at the dearest Chandlers in Europe I have maintain'd that Salamander of yours with fire any time this two and thirty years Heaven reward me for it Bard. I would my Face were in your belly Falst So should I be sure to be heart-burn'd Enter Hostess How now Dame Parlet the Hen have you enquir'd yet who pick'd my Pocket Hostess Why Sir John what do you think Sir John do you think I keep Thieves in my House I have search'd I have enquir'd so has my Husband Man by Man Boy by Boy Servant by Servant The tight of a Hair was never lost in my House before Falst Ye lye Hostess Bardolph was shav'd and lost many a Hair and I 'll be sworn my Pocket was pick'd go to you are a Woman go Hostess Who I I defie thee I was never so call'd so in mine own House before Falst Go to I know you well enough Hostess No Sir John You do not know me Sir John I know you Sir John You owe me Money Sir John and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it I bought you a dozen of Shirts to your back Falst Dowlas filthy Dowlas I have given them away to Bakers Wives and they have made Boulters of them Hostess Now as I am a true Woman Holland of eight shillings an Ill You owe Money here besides Sir John for your Diet and by-Drinkings and Money lent you four and twenty pounds Falst He had his part of it let him pay Hostess He alas he is poor he hath nothing Falst How poor look upon his face What call you rich Let him coyn his Nose let him coyn his Cheeks I 'll not pay a Denier What will you make a Yonker of me Shall I not take mine ease in mine Inn but I shall have my Pocket pick'd I have lost a Seal-Ring of my Grandfathers worth forty Mark Hostess I have heard the Prince tell him I know not how oft that that Ring was Copper Falst How the Prince is a Jack a Sneak-Cup and if he were here I would cudgel him like a Dog if he would say so Enter the Prince marching and Falstaff meets him playing on his Trunchion like a Fise Falst How now Lad is the wind in that Door Must we all march Bard. Yea two and two Newgate fashion Host My Lord I pray you hear me Prince What say'st thou Mistress Quickly How does thy Husband I love him well he is an honest Man Hostess Good my Lord hear me Falst Prethee let her alone and list to me Prince What say'st thou Jack Falst The other night I fell asleep here behind the Arras and had my Pocket pickt This House is turn'd Bawdy-house they pick Pockets Prince What didst thou lose Jack Falst Wilt thou believe me Hal Three or four Bonds of forty pound a piece and a Seal-Ring of my Grand-fathers Prince A trifle some eight-penny matter Host So I told him my Lord and I said I heard your Grace say so And my Lord he speaks most vilely of you like a foul-mouth'd Man as he is and said he would cudgel you Prince What he did not Host There 's neither Faith Truth nor Woman-hood in me else Fal. There 's no more faith in thee than in a stude Prune nor no more truth in thee than in a drawn Fox and for Woman-hood Maid-Marian may be the Deputies Wife of the Ward to thee Go you nothing go Host Say what thing what thing Falst What thing why a thing to thank Heaven on Host I am nothing to thank Heaven on I would thou shouldst know it I am an honest Man's Wife and setting thy Knighthood aside thou art a Knave to call me so Falst Setting thy Womanhood aside thou art a Beast to say
with his help We shall o'return it topsie-turvy down Yet all goes well yet all our joynts art whole Dowg As heart can think There is not such a word spoke of in Scotland As this Dream of Fear Enter Sir Richard Vernon Hotsp My Cousin Vernon welcome by my Soul Vern Pray God my News be worth a welcome Lord. The Earl of Westmerland seven thousand strong Is marching hither-wards with Prince John Hotsp No harm what more Vern And further I have learn'd The King himself in Person hath set forth Or hither-words intended speedily With strong and mighty Preparation Hotsp He shall be welcome too Where is his Son The nimble-footed Mad-cap Prince of Wales And his Comrades that daft the World aside And bid it pass Vern All furnisht all in Arms All plum'd like Estridges that with the Wind Baited like Eagles having lately bath'd Glittering in Golden Coats like Images As full of Spirit as the Month of May And gorgeous as the Sun at Mid-summer Wanton as youthful Goats wild as young Bulls I saw young Harry with his Beaver on His Cushes on his thighs gallantly arm'd Rise from the ground like feathered Mercury And vaulted with such ease into his Seat As if an Angel dropt down from the Clouds To turn and wind a fiery Pegasus And witcht the world with noble Horsemanship Hotsp No more no more Worse than the Sun in March This Praise doth nourish Agues let them come They come like Sacrifices in their trim And to the fire-ey'd Maid of smoaky War All hot and bleeding will we offer them The mailed Mars shall on his Altar sit Up to the ears in Blood I am on fire To here this rich Reprizal is so nigh And yet not ours Come let me take my Horse Who is to bear me like a Thunder-bolt Against the bosom of the Prince of Wales Harry to Harry shall not Horse to Horse Meet and ne're part till one drop down a Coarse Oh that Glendower were come Ver. There is more News I learn'd in Worcester as I rode along He cannot draw his Power this fourteen days Dowg That 's the worst Tidings that I hear of yet Wor. I by my faith that bears a frosty sound Hotsp What may the Kings whole Battel reach unto Ver To thirty thousand Hot. Forty let it be My Father and Glendower being both away The Power of us may serve so great a day Come let us take a Muster speedily Dooms-day is near die all die merrily Dowg Talk not of dying I am out of fear Of death or deaths hand for this one half year Exeunt omnes SCENE II. Enter Falstaff and Bardolph Falst Bardolph get thee before to Coventry fill me a Bottle of Sack our Souldiers shall march through we 'll to Sutton-cop-hill to Night Bard. Will you give me Money Captain Falst Lay out lay out Bard. This Bottle makes an Angel Falst And if it do take it for thy labour And if it make twenty take them all I 'll answer the Coynage Bid my Lieutenant Peto meet me at the Towns end Bard. I will Captain farewell Exit Falst If I be not asham'd of my Souldiers I am a sowc't Gurnet I have mis-us'd the Kings Press damnably I have got in exchange of a hundred and fifty Souldiers three hundred and odd pounds I press me none but good House-holders Yeomens Sons enquire me out contracted Batchelors such as had been ask'd twice on the Banes such a Commodity of warm Slaves as had as lieve hear the Devil as a Drum such as fear the report of a Caliver worse than a struck-Fool or a hurt Wild-Duck I prest me none but such Tostes and Butter with hearts in their Bellies no bigger than Pins heads and they have bought out their Services And now my whole Charge consists of Ancients Corporals Lieutenants Gentlemen of Companies Slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted Cloth where the Gluttons Dogs licked his Sores and such as indeed were never Souldiers but dis-carded unjust Servingmen younger Sons to younger Brothers Revolted Tapsters and Ostlers Tradefaln the Cankers of a calm World and long Peace ten times more dishonourable ragged than an old-fac'd Ancient and such have I to fill up the Rooms of them that have bought out their Services That you would think that I had a hundred and fifty tatter'd Prodigals lately come from Swine-keeping from eating Draff and Husks A mad fellow met me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the Gibbets and prest the dead Bodies No eye hath seen such Skar-Crows I 'll not march through Coventry with them that 's flat Nay and the Villains march wide betwixt the Legs as if they had Gyves on for indeed I had the most of them out of Prison There 's not a Shirt and a half in all my Company and the half Shirt is two Napkins tack'd together and thrown over the Shoulders like a Heralds Coat without sleeves And the Shirt to say the truth stoln from my Host of S. Albans or the Red-Nose Inn-keeper of Dayntry But that 's all one they 'l find Linnen enough on every Hedge Enter the Prince and the Lord of Westmerland Prince How now blown Jack how now Quilt Falst What Hal How now mad Wag what a Devil do'st thou in Warwick-shire My good Lord of Westmerland I cry you mercy I thought your Honour had already been at Shrewsbury West 'Faith Sir John 't is more than time that I were there and you too But my Powers are there already The King I can tell you looks for us all we must away all to Night Falst Tut never fear me I am as vigilant as a Cat to steal Cream Prince I think to steal Cream indeed for thy theft hath already made thee Butter But tell me Jack whose Fellows are these that come after Falst Mine Hal mine Prince I did never see such pitiful Rascals Falst Tut tut good enough to toss food for Powder food for Powder they 'll fill a Pit as well as better tush Man mortal Men mortal Men. Westm I but Sir John methinks they are exceeding poor and bare too beggarly Fal. Faith for their poverty I know not where they had that and for their bareness I am sure they never learn'd that of me Prin. No I 'll be sworn unless you call three fingers on the Ribs bare But sirrah make haste Percy is already in the Field Falst What is the King encamp'd West He is John I fear we shall stay too long Falst Well to the latter end of a Fray and the beginning of a Feast fits a dull Fighter and a keen Guest Exeunt SCENE III. Enter Hotspur Worcester Dowglas and Vernon Hotsp We 'll fight with him to Night Worc. It may not be Dowg You give him then advantage Vern Not a whit Hot. Why say you so looks he not for Supply Vern So do we Hotsp His is certain Ours is doubtful Worc. Good Cousin be advis'd stir not to Night Vern Do not my Lord. Dowg You do
smother up his Beauty from the World That when he please again to be himself Being wanted he may be more wondred at By breaking through the foul and ugly Mists So when this loose Behaviour I throw off And pay the debt I never promised By how much better than my Word I am Bo so much shall I falsifie mens Hopes And like bright Metal on a sullen groud My Reformation glittering o're my Fault Shall shew more goodly and attract more Eyes Than that which hath no soyl to set it off I 'll so offend to make Offence a skill Redeeming time when men think least I will SCENE III. Enter the King Northumberland Worcester Hotspur Sir Walter Blunt and others King My blood hath been too cold and temperate Unapt to stir at these Indignities And you have found me for accordingly You tread upon my Patience But be sure I will from henceforth rather be my self Mighty and to be fear'd then my condition Which hath been smooth as Oyl soft as young Down And therefore lost the Title of Respect Which the proud ne're pays but to the proud Wor. Our House my Soveraign Liege little deserves The scourge of Greatness to be used on it And that same Greatness too which our own hands Have holp to make so portly Nor. My Lord. King Worcester get thee gone for I do see Danger and Disobedience in thine Eye O Sir your Presence is too bold and peremptory And Majesty might never yet endure The moody Frontier of a Servant brow You have good leave to leave us When we need Your use and counsel we shall send for you You were about to speak North. Yea my good Lord. Those Prisoners in your Highness Name demanded Which Harry Percy here at Holmedon took Were as he says not with such strength deny'd As was delivered to your Majesty Who either through envy or misprision Was guilty of this fault and not my Son Hot. My Liege I did deny no Prisoners But I remember when the fight was done When I was dry with Rage and extream Toyl Breathless and faint leaning upon my Sword Came there a certain Lord neat and trimly drest Fresh as a Bride-groom and his Chin new reapt Shew'd like a stubble Land at Harvest home He was perfumed like a Milliner And 'twixt his Finger and his Thumb he held A Civit-Box which ever and anon He gave his Nose and took 't away again Who therewith angry when it next came there Took it in Snuff And still he smil'd and tlak'd And as the Soldiers bare dead Bodies by He call'd them untaught Knaves Unmannerly To bring a slovenly unhandsome Coarse Betwixt the wind and his Nobility With many Holiday and Lady terms He question'd me Among the rest demanded My Prisoners in your Majesties behalf I then all-smarting with my Wounds being cold To be so pestered with a Popingay Out of my grief and my impatience Answer'd neglectingly I know not what He should or should not For he made me mad To see him shine so brisk and smell so sweet And talk so like a Waiting-Gentlewoman Of Guns and Drums and Wounds God save the mark And telling me the Soveraign'st thing on Earth Was Parmacity for an inward Bruise And that it was great pity so it was That Villanous Salt-peter should be digg'd Out of the Bowels of the harmless Earth Which many a good tall Fellow had destroy'd So cowardly And but for these vile Guns He would himself have been a Souldier This bald unjointed Chat of his my Lord Made me to answer indirectly as I said And I beseech you let not this Report Come currant for an Accusation Betwixt my Love and your high Majesty Blunt The Circumstance considered good my Lord What ever Harry Percy then had said To such a person and in such a Place At such a time with all the rest retold May reasonably die and never rise To do him wrong or any way impeach What then he said so he unsay it now King Why yet he doth deny his Prisoners But with Proviso and Exception That we at our own Charge shall ransom streight His Brother-in-law the foolish Mortimer Who in my Soul hath wilfully betray'd The lives of those that he did lead to Fight Against the great Magician damn'd Glendower Whose Daughter as we hear the Earl of March Hath lately married Shall our Coffers then Be emptied to redeem a Traitor home Shall we buy Treason and indent with Fears No on the barren Mountains let him starve For I shall never hold that Man my Friend Whose Tongue shall ask me for one penny cost To ransom home revolted Mortimer Hot. Revolted Mortimer He never did fall off my Soveraign Liege But by the Chance of War to prove that true Needs no more but one Tongue For all those Wounds Those mouthed Wounds which valiantly he took When on the gentle Severn's Sedgie Bank In single opposition hand to hand He did confound the best part of an hour In changing hardiment with great Glendower Three times they breath'd and three times did they drink Upon agreement of swift Severn's Flood Who then affrighted with their Bloody looks Ran fearfully among the trembling Reeds And hid his crisped-head in a hollow Bank Blood-stained with these valiant Combatants Never did base and rotten policy Colour her working with such deadly Wounds Nor never could the noble Mortimer Receive so many and all willingly Then let him not be slander'd with Revolt King Thou do'st belye him Percy thou do'st belye him He never did encounter with Glendower I tell thee he durst as well have met the Devil alone As Owen Glendower for an Enemy Art thou not asham'd But Sirrah henceforth Let me not hear you speak of Mortimer Send me your Prisoners with the speediest means Or you shall hear in such a kind from me As will displease ye My Lord Northumberland We license your departure with your Son Send us your Prisoners or you 'll hear of it Exit King Hot. And if the Devil come and roar for them I will not send them I will after streight And tell him so for I will ease my Heart Although it be with hazard of my Head Nor. What drunk with Choller stay and pause a while Here comes your Uncle Enter Worcester Hot. Speak of Mortimer Yes I will speak of him and let my Soul Want mercy if I do not joyn with him In his behalf I 'll empty all those Veins And shed my dear Blood drop by drop i' th' dust But I will lift the downfaln Mortimer As high i' th' Air as this unthankful King And this ingrate and cankred Ballingbrook Nor. Brother the King hath made your Nephew mad Wor. Who strook this heat up after I was gone Hot. He will forsooth have all my Prisoners And when I urg'd the Ransom once again Of my Wives Brother then his cheek look'd pale And on my Face he turn'd an Eye of death Trembling even at the Name of Mortimer Wor. I cannot blame him was he not
Lords And in my Conduct shall your Ladies come From whom you now must steal and take no leave For there will be a world of Water shed Upon the parting of your Wives and you Hotsp Methinks my moity North from Burton here In quantity equals not one of yours See how this River comes me cranking in And cuts me from the best of all my Land A huge half Moon a monstrous Cantle out I 'll have the Current in this Place damn'd up And here the smug and Silver Trent shall run In a new Channel fair and evenly It shall not wind with such a deep indent To rob me of so rich a bottom 〈◊〉 Glend Not wind it shall it must you see it doth Mort. Yea but mark how he bends his course And runs me up with like advantage on the other side Gelding the opposing Continent as much As on the other side it takes from you Worc. Yea but a little Charge will trench him here And on this North side win this Cape of Land And then he runs straight and even Hotsp I 'll have it so a little Charge will do it Glend I 'll not have it alter'd Hotsp Will not you Glend No nor you shall not Hotsp Who shall say me nay Glend Why that will I. Hotsp Let me not understand you then speak it in Welsh Glend I can speak English Lord as well as you For I was train'd up in the English Court Where being but young I framed to the Harp Many an English Ditty lovely well And gave the Tongue a helpful Ornament A Vertue that was never seen in you Hotsp Marry and I am glad of it with all my Heart I had rather be a Kitten and cry mew Than one of these same meeter-Ballad-mongers I had rather hear a Brazen Candlestick tun'd Or a dry Wheel grate on the Axle-tree And that would set my teeth on Edge Nothing so much as mincing Poetrie 'T is like the forc'd gate of a shuffling Nag Glend Come you shall have Trent turn'd Hotsp I do not care I 'll give thrice so much Land To any well-deserving Friend But in the way of Bargain mark ye me I 'll cavil on the ninth part of a Hair Are the Indentures drawn shall we be gone Exeunt SCENE II. Enter the King Prince of Wales and others King Lords give us leave The Prince of Wales and I Must have some private Conference But be near at hand For we shall presently have need of you Exeunt Lords I know not whether Heaven will have it so For some displeasing Service I have doâ—â— That in his secret Doom out of my Blood He'll-breed Revengement and a Scourge for me But thou dost in thy passages of Life Make me believe that thou art only mark'd For the hot Vengeance and the Rod of Heaven To punish my Mistreadings Tell me else Could such inordinate and low desires Such poor such bare such lew'd such mean Attempts Such barren Pleasures rude Society As thou art match'd withall and grafted too Accompany the greatness of thy blood And hold their level with thy Princely heart Prince So please your Majesty I would I could Quit all Offences with as clear excuse As well as I am doubtless I can purge My self of many I am charg'd withal Yet such extenuation let me beg I may for some things true wherein my youth Hath faulty wandred and irregular Find pardon on my true submission King Heaven pardon thee Yet let me wonder Harry At thy Affections which do hold a Wing Quite from the flight of all thy Ancestors Thy place in Council thou hast rudely lost Which by thy younger Brother is supply'd And art almost an alien to the Hearts Of all the Court and Princes of my blood The Hope and Expectation of thy time Is ruin'd and the Soul of every man Prophetically do fore-think thy fall Had I so lavish of my Presence been So common hackney'd in the ways of men So stale and cheap to vulgar Company Opinion that did help me to the Crown Had still kept loyal to Possession And left me in reputeless Banishment A Fellow of no mark nor likelihood By being seldom seen I could not stir But like a Comet I was wondred at That Men would tell their Children This is he Others would say where which is Bullingbrook But now there 's not an eye But is a-weary of thy common sight Save mine which hath desir'd to see thee more Which now doth that I would not have it do Make blind it self with foolish tenderness Prince I shall heareafter my thrice gracious Lord Be more my self King For all the World As thou art to this hour was Richard then When I from France set forth at Ravenspurg And even as I was then is Percy now Now by my Scepter and my Soul to boot He hath more worthy Interest to the State Than thou the Shadow of Succession For of no Right nor Colour like to Right He doth fill Fields with Harness in the Realm Turns Head against the Lyon's armed Jaws And being no more in debt to years than thou Leads ancient Lords and reverend Bishops on To bloody Battels and to bruising Arms. What never-dying Honour hath he got Against renowned Dowglas Thrice hath the Hotspur Mars in swathing Cloaths This infant-Warriour in his Enterprises Discomfited great Dowglas ta'ne him once Enlarged him and made a Friend of him To fill the Mouth of deep Defiance up And shake the Peace and Safety of our Throne And what say you to this Percy Northumberland The Arch-Bishops Grace of York Dowglas Mortimer Capitulate against us and are up But wherefore do I tell this News to thee Why Harry do I tell thee of my Foes Which art my near'st and dearest Enemy Thou art like enough through Vassal Fear Base Inclination and the start of Spleen To sight against me under Percie 's Pay To dog his Heels and courtsie at his Frowns To shew how much thou art degenerate Prince Do not think so you shall not find it so And Heaven forgive them that so much have sway'd Your Majesties good Thoughts away from me I will redeem all this on Percie 's Head And in the closing of some glorious day Be bold to tell you that I am your Son When I will wear a Garment all of Blood And stain my Favours in a bloody Mask Which washt away shall scowre my shame with it And that shall be the day when e're it lights That this same Child of Honour and Renown This gallant Hotspur this all-praised Knight And your unthought of Harry chance to meet For every Honour sitting on his Helm Would they were multitudes and on my Head My Shames redoubled For the time will come That I shall make this Northern Youth exchange His Glorious Deeds for my Indignities Percy is but my Factor Or I will tear the Reckoning from his Heart This in the the Name of Heaven I promise here The which if I promise and do survive I do beseech your Majesty
Cuckows Bird Useth the Sparrow did oppress our Nest Grew by our Feeding to so great a Bulk That even our Love durst not come near your sight For fear of swallowing But with nimble wing We were inforc'd for safety's sake to fly Out of your sight and raise this present Head Whereby we stand opposed by such means As you your self have forg'd against your self By unkind Usage dangerous Countenance And violation of all Faith and Troth Sworn to us in your younger Enterprize King These things indeed you have articulated Proclaim'd at Market Crosses read in Churches To face the Garment of Rebellion And never yet did Insurrection want Such Water-colours to impaint his Cause Nor moody Beggars starving for a time Of Pell-mell Havock and Confusion Prin. In both our Armies there is many a Soul Shall pay full dearly for this Encounter If once they joyn in Trial. Tell your Nephew The Prince of Wales doth joyn with all the World In praise of Henry Percy By my Hopes This present Enterprize set off his head I do not think a braver Gentleman More Active Valiant or more valiant young More daring or more bold is now alive To grace this latter Age with Noble Deeds For my part I may speak it to my shame I have a Truant been to Chivalry And so I hear he doth account me too Yet this before my Fathers Majesty I am content that he shall take the odds Of his great Name and Estimation And will to save the Blood on either side Try Fortune with him in a Single Fight King And Prince of Wales so dare we venture thee Albeit Considerations infinite Do make against it No good Worster no We love our People well even those we love That are misled upon your Cousins part And will they take the offer of our Grace Both he and they and you yea every Man Shall be my Friend again and I 'll be his So tell your Cousin and bring me Word What he will do But if he will not yield Rebuke and dread Correction wait on us And they shall do their Office So be gone We will not now be troubled with reply We offer fair take it advisedly Exit Worcester Prin. It will not be accepted on my Life The Douglas and the Hotspur both together Are confident against the World in Arms. King Hence therefore every Leader to his Charge For on their Answer will we set on them And God befriend us as our Cause is just Exeunt Manet Prince and Falstaff Fal. Hal if thou see me down in the Battel And bestride me so 't is a point of Friendship Prin. Nothing but a Colossus can do thee that Friendship Say thy Prayers and farewel Falst I would it were Bed-time Hal and all well Prin. Why thou owest Heaven a death Fal. 'T is not due yet I would be loth to pay him before his day What need I be so forward with him that call's not on me Well 't is no matter Honour pricks me on But now if Honour prick me off when I come on How then Can Honour set to a leg No or an arm No Or take away the grief of a Wound No Honour hath no skill in Surgery then No. What is Honour a Word What is that Word Honour Air A trim Reckoning Who hath it He that dy'd a Wednesday Doth he feel it No. Doth he hear it No. Is it insensible then yea to the Dead But will it not live with the living No. Why Detraction will not suffer it therefore I 'll none of it Honour is a meer Scutcheon and so ends my Catechism Exit SCENE II. Enter Worcester and Sir Richard Vernon Wor. O no my Nephew must not know Sir Richard The liberal kind Offer of the King Ver. 'T were best he did Wor. Then we are all undone It is not possible it cannot be The King would keep his Word in loving us He will suspect us still and find a time To Punish this Offence in other Faults Supposition all our lives shall be stuck full of Eyes And we shall feed like Oxen at a Stall The better cherish'd still the nearer death My Nephews trespass may be well forgot It hath the excuse of Youth and heat of Bloud And an adopted Name of Priviledge A hare-brain'd Hotspur govern'd by a Spleen All his Offences live upon my Head And on his Fathers We did train him on And his Corruption being tane from us We as the Spring of all shall pay for all Therefore good Cousin let not Harry know In any Case the Offer of the King Ver. Deliver what you will I 'll say 't is so Here comes your Cousin Enter Hotspur Hot. My Uncle is return'd Deliver up my Lord of Westmerland Uncle what News Wor. The King will bid you Battel presently Dow. Defie him by the Lord of Westmerland Hot. Lord Dowglas Go you and tell him so Dow. Marry and shall and very willingly Exit Dowglas Wor. There is no seeming mercy in the King Hot. Did you beg any God forbid Wor. I told him gently of our Grievances Of his Oath breaking which he mended thus By now forswearing that he is forsworn He calls us Rebels Traitors and will scourge With haughty Arms this hateful Name in us Enter Dowglas Dow. Arm Gentlemen to Arms for I have thrown A brave defiance in King Henries teeth And Westmerland that was ingag'd did bear it Which cannot choose but bring him quickly on Wor. The Prince of Wales stept forth before the King And Nephew challeng'd you to single fight Hot. O would the Quarrel lay upon our Heads And that no Man might draw short breath to day But I and Harry Monmouth Tell me tell me How shew'd his Talking Seem'd it in contempt Ver. No by my Soul I never in my life Did hear a Challenge urg'd more modestly Unless a Brother should a Brother dare To gentle Exercise and proof of Arms. He gave you all the Duties of a Man Trim'd up your Praises with a Princely Tongue Spoke your Deservings like a Chronicle Making you ever better than his Praise By still dispraising Praise valu'd with you And which became him like a Prince indeed He made a blushing cital of himself And chide his Trewant Youth so with a Grace As if he mastered there a double Spirit Of teaching and of learning instantly There did he pause But let me tell the World If he out live the Envy of this day England did never owe so sweet a hope So much misconstrued in his Wantonness Hot. Cousin I think thou art enamoured On his follies never did I here Of any Prince so wild at Liberty But be he as he will yet once e're night I will embrace him with a Souldiers Arm That he shall shrink under my courtesie Arm arm with speed Enter Messenger Mes My Lord here are Letters for you Hot. I cannot read them now O Gentlemen the time of life is short To spend that shortness basely were too long If life did ride upon a